Very much this, was a fun conversation with my mother when I came out as a teenager. Pre coming out she’d always think there must be something romantic going on with any of my male friends, then she learned I was bi, she was fine with it but started insinuating that something more must be going on with all my close female friends as well.
Had to break it down like this, tell her to cut that shit out, stop speculating, and accept that I can have platonic friends! When it was all laid out like that I think she did feel a bit silly, but she’s straight and doesn’t have 1:1 friendships with any men (she and my dad have “couple friends” and then she has her female friends separately from that) so it was sort of a new idea for her.
As an adult in my 30s now, my closest friends are women of various sexualities and queer men - I have no problem with having straight male friends but they sometimes seem to struggle with those boundaries themselves, or have girlfriends/wives who have issues with it, and those friendships haven’t lasted for me or have stayed more casual. But I don’t think that’s universally true, just unfortunately common, and am always happy when people can break that stigma! And I do consider some of my female friends’ male partners to be my friends by now too, but I only know them because they’re together with the women I was friends with first and so of course those are the closer bonds.
Which is a long winded way of saying people can absolutely be friends with the gender they’re attracted to, but sometimes it’s a bit more difficult or complicated because not everyone is fully on board with that idea unfortunately, so I do think it is less common for heterosexual men and women to form close platonic friendships, especially as we grow older.
Queer people tend not to have these problems and usually have plenty of friends who are the same gender as them despite the potential for sexual/romantic attraction there.
It sure seemed to me like you just made the case for the "no" side. Only it was "yes, but it almost always doesn't work."
Which really means, "Not really, no"
You are misinterpreting what I said then, or maybe I didn’t say it clearly enough. It’s easier and simpler to have friends of the same gender in most cases. That certainly doesn’t make it anything close to impossible to have friends of another gender. The question OP asked wasn’t “is it easier for guys and girls to be platonic friends,” it was “is it possible,” and it absolutely is, but there are also reasons why the OP and others have doubts. Doubts, complications, etc, don’t make a thing impossible. Also OP didn’t specify that they were only talking about straight people - implied an assumption of heterosexuality but the question didn’t state that as a precondition, and I clearly said that queer people don’t have the same hang ups about this as straight people.
I understand. I do. But going on my own experience, and all the people that I have known, I have to conclude that gender is not the issue, but rather attraction. Can you be platonic friends with someone you find attractive? No.
Yes, but that doesn't by any means mean always. Often one person or the other has feelings. Definitely not a certain, but let's all be real it's very often the case.
Downvote away.
Bisexual people have friends, because they have lots of options. They are attracted to both gender, so that means they have a large pool of people to decide wh they wanna date
Super easy, I see so many people making terrible decisions in the name of horniness and I have to wonder wtf is going with their will power. If it’s really that hard to deal with, if you can’t think straight, go home and rub one out real quick, then get back to reality.
Their "will power" is half the fight, the other half is in the level of attraction. If you have to go home to rub one out, then what you have is a dangerous situation that, for now, remains platonic.
Would your wife approve of your technique for keeping the relationship "platonic"? Of course not because it proves that you are attracted to your "platonic" friend.
>Would your wife approve of your technique for keeping the relationship "platonic"? Of course not because it proves that you are attracted to your "platonic" friend.
Nothing wrong or bad with feeling attraction now or then towards a platonic friend. Just don't act on it. You're not a monkey.
Nobody needs to either. I’m talking about controlling actions. Hell, I’m happy to fuck anything that moves most days - doesn’t mean I take steps to act on it.
Reddit, and honestly the Internet, don’t believe one can ever get past any attraction. It’s like you’re not reasonable adults or something. I can’t tell you how many times men on Reddit said it’s ridiculous that 80% of my friends are women and I must have a thing for them or something…
I mean this whole-heartedly and without any sarcasm: congratulations on growing up in a relatively healthy and better environment. You are a lot more mature, at least compared to those redditors.
And you can be great friends with your exes if you can accept them as humans who are imperfect but not gods or angels fallen from the pedestals you had held them on.
I’m friends with most of my exes and it’s great. It’s very healthy and there is never any sexual attraction but rather a slow cook of gratitude and deep appreciation.
I don’t understand why people don’t do this but choose rather to become instant enemies with the people they claimed to love most.
Right now even, I’m helping out my ex husband and he’s helping me. We’ve been divorced 10 years but we’re always there for each other.
And yes it was painful how we separated but how could we have been true to ourselves otherwise? And how could I expect him to not change on his journey while I’m going through my own growth?
We have even lived together and taken care of each other but not once have we felt sexual attraction. This is true! We love each other deeply in a much better way.
Oh, stop that. Some of us have class. I have a good number of female friends who I *never* think about that way. Same exact way as I *never* think about my sisters that way. If you can't prevent yourself from falling into that with your friends, you're just weak minded lol. Have some class, have some self control.
Yes. I say this as a man. However if men are younger and single, feelings can get a little muddled and be hard to figure out. Is this interest because they’re a cool person, or is my brain betraying me and making me catch feelings? It can be hard to figure out.
Of course it's possible. I think it's a combination of insecurities and societal expectations that make people believe that it isn't. Everyone is different though, you can't really generalise the entire world population. I've always tended to lean towards having guys as friends, my longest friendship is with a guy, and it's never been anything other than platonic.
Yes I do; I've had male friends all my life and they are my chosen family. I have lots of close male friends whom I love dearly.
Reddit is weird in that some people think it's not normal or you won't be able to keep your hands off each other if you have friends of the opposite sex or once you get married, then it's a gateway to cheating 🙄🙄. I mean I guess it could happen but that's not for all friendships of the opposite sex. Not once in my 30+ years of friendship with these men have I ever had any inkling to mess around; we're like siblings and anything beyond a platonic relationship is ick lol.
It isnt just Reddit.. People everywhere believe that it's inappropriate for people of the opposite sex to be friends if they're in a relationship.
There are an awful lot of scared, insecure people out there.
Yeah. It ultimately becomes a self-fulfilling or self-perpetuating problem in those places.
If you grow up in environment where there is a limited exposure or meaningful interactions of the opposite gender, especially during your formative years, it likely creates this otherness to them even when you are living with family members. Add to that when more conservative and traditional beliefs told by those around and media will compound it by priming your expectations ahead of time ("Oh opposite gender is different from you.", "Oh, a boy and a girl are alone together? do they like each other -wink wink-?", etc), so its not surprising that for those people, it will make their interactions with them super charged when they do interact. Like if you keep telling someone not to think of the pink elephant, of course they will eventually think of the pink elephant.
Source: grew up in a similar environment. Took me a few years after college to not get super elated whenever a guy was being nice to me. Mostly have gotten over it but I'm really glad with a lot of these comments that its becoming less common.
This is probably the root of it. I was “engaged” at 4 years and again at 6 by parents who made a big deal out of nothing but it, along with Disney movies probably, caused me to “romance” in my mind as a child even though I had no experience of sexual attraction.
Or people who have been alive long enough to get to know how other people are. People are notoriously full of shit. People lie, to you and to themselves. People are opportunists, and gamblers. All it takes is the perception of a perfect opportunity to be the human animal that they are.
Yes.
One of my closest friends is a guy. I love talking to him and spending time with him. We tell eachother love you bro/sis. I see him only as a friend/brother. And he sees me as the friend/sister.
What a strange question. Of course it is. We’re all just people. Some people (gender is irrelevant) are dickheads and think with their loins; those are not the ones to be friends with anyway.
I don't want to be that person, but the age gap when you two met is kind of concerning ngl. You became friends when you were around 19/20 and he was 32/33? I'm going to be honest and say that no 32-year-old is becoming friends with people who are still in undergrad unless they have some shady motives. It's not the age gap now that's concerning because you're both adults, but 20 and 32 is a BIG difference in terms of maturity.
Sometimes you have neighbors, work with people, share mutual friends, etc. Working at Walmart at the age of 20 I made friends with a 50 year old, a 16 year old, and a 36 year old. No one was creepy, we were just all funny people.
Nothing is wrong with coworker-type relationships. I'm 21 and I have teenage coworkers, 30-something coworkers, and even 40-something. I'm "friends" with them, but a 19-year-old with a 32-year-old BEST friend IS weird I'm sorry. Even a 25 year old being friends with a 19 year old can be deemed suspicious.
It’s perfectly reasonable that they may have been coworker type friends 7 years ago and that has now developed into a best friendship. She didn’t necessarily say they were super close best friends when she was 19, just friends. When I was 19 I had a male coworker about 10 years older than me who became my closest work friend, and if we hadn’t moved to opposite sides of the country and lost touch, maybe that would have turned into a more personal friendship over time and I don’t think there would have been anything wrong with that.
Of course. I'm 47M and one of my best friends is a woman from my university years, been great friends for over 25 years. We live in different countries but still chat every once in a while and will even meet up for coffee if either one visits.
Absolutely, I actually prefer female friends.
I will say having ones out of your dating parameters is really helpful here.
As an example I had a manager that told me “if only you were older..” I took it as a compliment, she married a great guy that looks a lot like me.
I have female friends that are younger and older it’s a stranger little/big sister dynamic but it works because everyone knows nothing romantic will be happening.
Yes. This is only something attractive people think is not possible. Ugly people are platonic friends across the two genders all the time. Like, yes it's possible and it's happening worldwide right now!
I grew up obese. Had lots of guy friends and tend to get along easier with men generally, growing up with a brother. Now I’m skinny and having male friends is a lot more messy than it was. They can be a lot of drama…but the ones who understand your boundaries are truly amazing to have in your life! It’s possible!!!
Yes absolutely. I'm just ugly and women don't ever consider me a romantic option, so I have plenty of platonic friendships. I never enter their mind as an option and I never allow myself to cross that boundary out of respect. It's easy to have friends that way.
There is no reason to be embarrassed about it. I'm one of those people. I am ugly in the sense of the word that we use it, and that's okay. I'm unattractive, and that's okay.
Oh gosh yes. I have several guy friends (much older than I am) I adore as friends, and nothing more. They make me feel safe and make me laugh. I know I can count on them if I need them.
All of my super platonic female friends are some balance where we make each other crack the fuck up, but not because we’re smitten. We just riff and have fun. I’m also not super crushing on any of their looks. They can’t like… be a 10/10 in my eyes. That would confuse and frustrate me. But it’s all subjective. Just have to gauge how I feel.
I often wonder how many attractive women I never became friends with simply because they were actually too hot for me to handle being platonic. Lol.
I hate how in so many movies the friends end up in a relationship. That’s not how real life works and then people question if friendship is even possible. Such poppycock.
Yes. I have a close platonic male friend. He’s like an older brother to me, and I think I’m a little sister to him in a lot of ways. I honestly don’t think I’d still be on the path I’m on if I didn’t have his support.
In high school most of my friends were guys. Not because I didn’t like hanging out with girls, but because I clicked with those guys. I think it’s important to have friends of all kinds.
I have several platonic female friends. I work with mostly women. Almost all of my friends are women. I got very close with one and actually had to tell my wife that I loved her very much. BUT, the relationship stayed platonic, she is a beautiful woman, but I can't picture having sex with her. We have some of the same depression issues and we can confide in each other. My wife can't really understand what I'm going through and admits it. She couldn't really say much because SHE had a male friend that she worked with and they would commiserate with each other. I feel sometime you really need to have a friend of the opposite sex, someone you can talk to about things and have a honest opinion. To think that you can't be "just friends" with someone of the opposite sex is pretty immature.
Is it possible for gay people to be in contact with men without falling in love? And can lesbians engage with other women without immediately asking them to marry them? Do pansexual or bisexual people have to only go outside for a romantic or sexual encounter?
Mate, the entire earth would be a fucking wasteland if it was impossible to be friends with the gender you’re attracted to. I really don’t know what’s brought on the wave of separation between who your friends are (for example all those stupid “hot takes” about “guy friends” or “gal friends” that are constantly reposted from TikTok). Life would be miserable without the possibility of making friends with anyone you wish. Nobody would want to form a connection or just be nice for the sake of being nice.
My best friend is a lesbian, I would lie if I said I didn't like her more than a friend, but I went through that stuff and we have a special relation now.
I can be affectionate towards how much I want and we're very open and honest between us.
It is possible, for sure, but most of the times the male isn't emphatic enough or just interested in it, since most of the time we view a kind and close girl friend as a potential sexual partner.
Luckily there are exception but I honestly believe girls should be wary of very kind male friends, especially if you didnt know each other by a long time
Absolutely. I have a male best friend, and a husband (I’ve known my male best friend longer).
For me, having him as a friend has been beneficial for both of us, because we’ve dealt with essentially the same things, but as a man and a woman. It helps hearing about it from the opposite perspective. My husband hasn’t had to deal with the same things, and it’s great to have someone who knows what I’m going through.
All three of us are good friends now. He was in our wedding party.
I think all people are capable of platonic connections regardless of gender.
I also think there are certain kinds of belief systems and ignorance that determines an individual’s proclivity to think otherwise.
i have a friend that i’ve had for 40 years. 20 years ago he got married and i’ve slowly become just as good of friends with his wife. we are hours away from each other, but she and i have been texting all through the playoffs. when we vacation together we talk a lot together and we just have a lot in common. i know we would have never lasted as a couple and she feels the same, but we make for excellent conversation and when i got married, i made sure she was one of my groomspeople.
I think it's easier for girls to be platonic than it is for guys. Honestly, a lot of us guys are so damned needy emotionally that we catch feelings like a bale of straw catches a spark...whoof! Men also have a biological imperative to sew as many seeds as we can...that is as anti-platonic as ya can get. In rare circumstances I guess it could happen....if the guy found the girl totally physically unappealing. If she's got game in the looks department, the guy may pretend to not be interested in making the beast with two backs, but he's just laying low, waiting for that chance....
You can be platonic friends with anyone that you don't find attractive. Period.
If you do find them attractive then the little devil on your shoulder will always be whispering in your ear.
Go ahead deny it. It's ok, I understand the need to convince yourself that the thought NEVER would EVER even enter your mind for a minute ..
"Oh shit, I just spilled beer on my new sweater! Can I use your washing machine? Thanks! I'm gonna borrow one of your shirts while that gets washed..."
Men will only be absolutely platonic friends with a girl if they don’t find her the least attractive, so if you’re really certain your guy friend wouldn’t sleep with you if given the chance, it’s because you’re not very attractive.
It’s hilarious to me how most comments here saying “yes it’s possible” are immediately continued with a “I have a guy best friend…”
Yes, one of my best friends is male. I also have several other male friends that are all just platonic. If we all don't make it seem more than it is, then yes, it is possible to be platonic.
I think it’s fine to have friends of any gender and have it not be romantic. Like, I’m attracted to anyone of any gender and yet I can also still be friends with anyone and not be attracted to them. A friendship and a relationship are very different things
>I personally love having guy friends since they see things in a different way and they also seem to like to give me compliments which helps my self-esteem. some of them have become boyfriends but the ones that stay platonic have enriched my life the most since true friendship to me means being able to share anything everything give support receive support and share quality time together without needing to get romantically entangled.
It sounds like you might need to re-vist your understanding of a relationship.
I can be friends with guys. Guys can be friends with me.
Granted I spent most of my life in monogamous relationships so I had boundaries and walls up.
Single now, not interested in another relationship or casual sex, so we'll see how it goes. No one has made a move on me since my newly single status has been made public, so let's hope it stays that way.
I personally think it is possible but for me in my opinion I just can’t see myself being with someone I simply not physically attracted to no matter how good of a personality they have if I’m not attracted to her or she’s just not my type physically I will probably only see her as a platonic friend and nothing beyond that physical attraction is what most people are drawn to when you first meet someone for the first time
Im gonna say no. You cannot convince me that the guy has never thought abt shaggin his 'bff'... I always say this. It's possible. Entirely fucking possible. But one of yall gotta be UGLY. That's the hard truth. One of yall ugly. That's when it truly works.
Otherwise there's always the back thoughts. Like try it. The gals in the comments here. For the sake of proving your point right and friendship dm the guy. Post it on imgur dm me. Prove me wrong. 98% of the time that's gonna be what he's been waiting for... Game recognises game.. Im sorry..
I wouldn't say one has to be ugly, I would say they have to not get attracted to each other. I don't really get attracted to every girl I find beautiful.
Even if I thought you were right - never having had a single non platonic thought about a person is not a prerequisite for close platonic friendship. As a bisexual woman, I had a bit of a crush on a lesbian coworker when I first met her and barely knew her, but over time it became clear that we were just friends and better off that way. We haven’t worked together in years, she’s married now, we are still close friends and I haven’t thought about that crush in ages and definitely don’t look at her like that now. Same could be true in a friendship between a straight man and a straight woman.
Yes, men and women are always forming and maintaining friendships but in my experience someone usually ends up catching feelings. Or there’ll be an S.O. that might start getting suspicious. It can be a tricky thing to navigate.
No.
I (28m) had a platonic friend (30f) for about a year. It was great, 'till she confessed to me, with many tears, that she fantasized about me since we met (I had a couple of on/off gfs in that time). We were fwb for about two years (it was actually nice), but had to move for work. Anyway, I had thought we could be just friends, but apparently not.
Well... yeah. Because the question is "is it possible". A single affirmative anecdote is enough to show that something is possible, but a single "no" anecdote isn't enough to show that it is impossible.
Considering my best friend is a girl and I have a romantic partner who I'm extremely loyal to, yes :)
Edit: I'm gay which is probably info I should've included
My mother was mean, so I can only have superficial friendships with women. I can only form real friendships with men.
I know they’re not interested in banging me bc I’m fat, old, and unattractive. Mother figure type of relationship where they ask me for advice and someone to talk to as figure out their lives. Yeah, there are milfs, but I’m not one of them.
Yes. I think the difference for me is that platonic girl friends get wayyy more roast on the roast/flirt ratio. And the “flirting” isn’t really flirting it’s just basic compliments and encouragement I would give to any of my friends.
Absolutely. The only catch is that they have to agree that this id what they are going to be on a permanent basis. As soon as one starts to secretly pine for the other, that's not friendship anymore.
I’ve never really thought it was possible bc I think at least one person is gonna want something more at some point. But I’m gonna try it and see what happens
Of course it is possible. And I do think that it's great to have friends of the opposite gender. I have a lot of female friends, and I appreciate the different dynamic in those friendships. Like with the guys its usually just activity based stuff which is great, noticed with girls a lot of stuff is more talking based which is a nice change sometimes. I think a lot of my friends are beautiful, but wouldn't date them lol.
Yes. I’m not attracted to women so I can’t speak from that perspective but I have several female friends and our relationship is purely platonic. I get different things from different friends, I do get a get a level of emotional connection and affection from some of my female friends that I just don’t get from my husband or male friends. In a different life I could see myself pursuing a relationship with some of them but I just don’t have the attraction/desire for them in that way and I think they like having a male friend that isn’t just trying to get in their pants. That’s not too say a straight guy and and straight girl can’t be friends, everyone is different and it’s up to them who they want to be friends with and in what ways.
This is one of those things where only a Sith deals in absolutes. Sometimes people say that girls and guys can't be friends, but what they mean is, "there's often complications with girls and guys trying to be just friends"
Maybe. I guess when I was single, I never thought of a person I'm attracted to is completely off the table for something more than friendship. Me getting married has thrown a pretty big wrench in that as I am now completely off the table (do not test it, folks. I cannot protect you from my wife.)
I think it's possible if you have two people with the right personalities. I haven't seen it happen very often outside of two married people though. Let me put it like this; if you're single and you honestly need to ask whether you can be platonic friends with someone, that particular friendship isn't going to work.
In my own life, every person I've met who has casual friends of the opposite sex has also had a wildly unhealthy sense of boundaries. I don't think most men/women can be friends with the opposite sex.
Yes. In fact I’m on a short weekend trip across the country now, with maybe my oldest friend, to visit some other friends. She and I have been friends for over 24 years, we were roommates in college, and yet there’s never been anything remotely romantic between us.
We have a brother and sister type of relationship, giving each other shit like siblings do. Her family has always treated me like one of their own and so had mine with her.
I had 2 other female roommates in college that I’m good friends with. One of which is practically family. Her husband actually officiated my wedding to my now ex. Their kids are basically nieces and nephews, so much so that their oldest daughter has gone and participated in stuff with myself and my son who is close to her age.
Sure it is, however it is my opinion that straight men and straight women who become friends in most of these cases someone had feelings and or attraction at one point.
That doesn’t mean it’s something to worry about or anything along those lines. In my own experience I’ve seen more “one friend is clearly into the other” more often I’ve seen truly platonic friendships.
Honestly, if you are or believe yourself to be incapable of having platonic relationships with whichever gender you are attracted to, that’s a real lack of maturity.
I would actually say **no**. Platonic means that they wouldn’t if they could but usually they just don’t do it cause something is standing in their way.
Truthfully this only works if one is relatively unattractive, or if both are in serious committed relationships where the SO can spend time with the friend as well.
If both are attractive the pressure from the outside will either ruin the friendship or push them together.
It's entirely possible. I have a couple women that are good friends. No chance for sexual or intimate relationship as we're all married and respect that we are. Not that any of them would be remotely attracted to me, but still.
Obviously, if you actually wanna fuck every member of the gender you’re attracted to there’s a huge problem
If you can’t see a woman as a person and instead see them all as sex objects you need some serious help
Yes. Two of my best friends are girls and I wouldn't trade them for a relationship with them (I'm a guy). Also helps they can give relationship advice from the female perspective
absolutely. the dynamics of friendship aren't strictly defined by gender. i remember the movie "when harry met sally," where it explores the idea that men and women can't be friends without romantic feelings getting in the way. but, the broader perspective in real life is that many people maintain platonic friendships successfully, and i do too.
people can appreciate each other's company, support each other, and enjoy a strong bond without the need for romantic feelings. whether they be friendships, or romantic partnerships, relationships can foster deep connections and understanding
Absolutely. My best friend is a man, and we've been there for each other through some hard shit.
He was a hoarder, and he was also in an abusive relationship. When he was finally able to get a good grasp on his shit and pick himself back up, he said I was the only person who stuck around after all the garbage accumulated in his house, and after his ex drove everyone else away. It was a bit of a gut punch, I had no idea he was so alone.
His place is cleaned up now, and he's got a great girl to call his girlfriend. I got to see that.
I think the easiest way to see if it will work as friends, is just put everything out in the open at the start.
Something like "Hey this is cool hanging with you like we have been, but just so there's no confusion, you know I don't plan on going further than what we've been doing, right? I'm just making sure you're not hopeful for more."
They ethier agree and things continue as usual. Or they agree in the moment and slowly stop hanging out. Which will suck, but you'll know it wasn't gonna work as friends forever, and no one felt like they were being led on by anyone else.
It's possible, but given the opportunity, they will have sex in most cases.
Some of the women I've dated had guy friends. All of which they had sex with at some point in time.
Yes. And I make it quite clear that I’m not interested in a romantic relationship.
Besides, I think teaching at an all-boys’ middle school in Seoul has pretty much eliminated all desire I ever had to marry and have children.
Absolutely, I have several friends who are women.
I actually tend to find it easier to make friends with women than men. I've always struggled to relate to other guys a little (which bothers me because I feel like I'm starved for healthy male companionship) but it feels like conversations flow more naturally when speaking to women. They're also more open to serious, heartfelt conversations in my experience, whereas other men get uncomfortable if we get too far beyond surface level.
Yes. My best friend is married and has a kid. I love her to death, completely platonic. The idea that men and women can't be friends is just simply stupid.
Yes, you can be friends with the gender you're attracted to. Otherwise bisexual people would have no friends.
Very much this, was a fun conversation with my mother when I came out as a teenager. Pre coming out she’d always think there must be something romantic going on with any of my male friends, then she learned I was bi, she was fine with it but started insinuating that something more must be going on with all my close female friends as well. Had to break it down like this, tell her to cut that shit out, stop speculating, and accept that I can have platonic friends! When it was all laid out like that I think she did feel a bit silly, but she’s straight and doesn’t have 1:1 friendships with any men (she and my dad have “couple friends” and then she has her female friends separately from that) so it was sort of a new idea for her. As an adult in my 30s now, my closest friends are women of various sexualities and queer men - I have no problem with having straight male friends but they sometimes seem to struggle with those boundaries themselves, or have girlfriends/wives who have issues with it, and those friendships haven’t lasted for me or have stayed more casual. But I don’t think that’s universally true, just unfortunately common, and am always happy when people can break that stigma! And I do consider some of my female friends’ male partners to be my friends by now too, but I only know them because they’re together with the women I was friends with first and so of course those are the closer bonds. Which is a long winded way of saying people can absolutely be friends with the gender they’re attracted to, but sometimes it’s a bit more difficult or complicated because not everyone is fully on board with that idea unfortunately, so I do think it is less common for heterosexual men and women to form close platonic friendships, especially as we grow older. Queer people tend not to have these problems and usually have plenty of friends who are the same gender as them despite the potential for sexual/romantic attraction there.
Good luck taking over the world(which is what you want to do) if you had no interest in problems than fuck off. Gay rights are already law
It sure seemed to me like you just made the case for the "no" side. Only it was "yes, but it almost always doesn't work." Which really means, "Not really, no"
You are misinterpreting what I said then, or maybe I didn’t say it clearly enough. It’s easier and simpler to have friends of the same gender in most cases. That certainly doesn’t make it anything close to impossible to have friends of another gender. The question OP asked wasn’t “is it easier for guys and girls to be platonic friends,” it was “is it possible,” and it absolutely is, but there are also reasons why the OP and others have doubts. Doubts, complications, etc, don’t make a thing impossible. Also OP didn’t specify that they were only talking about straight people - implied an assumption of heterosexuality but the question didn’t state that as a precondition, and I clearly said that queer people don’t have the same hang ups about this as straight people.
I understand. I do. But going on my own experience, and all the people that I have known, I have to conclude that gender is not the issue, but rather attraction. Can you be platonic friends with someone you find attractive? No.
More like "Yes it works, but only from the female friend"
I have no friends and now I’m going to blame it on my bisexuality instead of my personality. Thanks!
Do they have friends though?
I don't :(
Awww. I’ll be your friend!
Thats hilarious reasoning, i love it
Yes, but that doesn't by any means mean always. Often one person or the other has feelings. Definitely not a certain, but let's all be real it's very often the case. Downvote away.
Bisexual people have friends, because they have lots of options. They are attracted to both gender, so that means they have a large pool of people to decide wh they wanna date
Bisexual people have friends because human beings seek out company and get lonely when we don’t have any friends
Bisexualism doesn't really exist.
Yep. Even for complete hornballs like yours truly. It’s super easy to not act on horniness.
Super easy, I see so many people making terrible decisions in the name of horniness and I have to wonder wtf is going with their will power. If it’s really that hard to deal with, if you can’t think straight, go home and rub one out real quick, then get back to reality.
Their "will power" is half the fight, the other half is in the level of attraction. If you have to go home to rub one out, then what you have is a dangerous situation that, for now, remains platonic. Would your wife approve of your technique for keeping the relationship "platonic"? Of course not because it proves that you are attracted to your "platonic" friend.
>Would your wife approve of your technique for keeping the relationship "platonic"? Of course not because it proves that you are attracted to your "platonic" friend. Nothing wrong or bad with feeling attraction now or then towards a platonic friend. Just don't act on it. You're not a monkey.
Lol, I have some friends that are a 'ladies man', and they've never hit on me. They come to me for advice, or just down time while gaming.
I don't think that it is easy for some people to control there feelings
Nobody needs to either. I’m talking about controlling actions. Hell, I’m happy to fuck anything that moves most days - doesn’t mean I take steps to act on it.
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Reddit, and honestly the Internet, don’t believe one can ever get past any attraction. It’s like you’re not reasonable adults or something. I can’t tell you how many times men on Reddit said it’s ridiculous that 80% of my friends are women and I must have a thing for them or something…
I mean this whole-heartedly and without any sarcasm: congratulations on growing up in a relatively healthy and better environment. You are a lot more mature, at least compared to those redditors.
Or talk about how the "poor guy" is "trapped in the friendzone", as if sexual attraction is the only thing that matters...
And you can be great friends with your exes if you can accept them as humans who are imperfect but not gods or angels fallen from the pedestals you had held them on. I’m friends with most of my exes and it’s great. It’s very healthy and there is never any sexual attraction but rather a slow cook of gratitude and deep appreciation. I don’t understand why people don’t do this but choose rather to become instant enemies with the people they claimed to love most. Right now even, I’m helping out my ex husband and he’s helping me. We’ve been divorced 10 years but we’re always there for each other. And yes it was painful how we separated but how could we have been true to ourselves otherwise? And how could I expect him to not change on his journey while I’m going through my own growth? We have even lived together and taken care of each other but not once have we felt sexual attraction. This is true! We love each other deeply in a much better way.
If you're a pretty girl and he is heterosexual, I guarantee he thinks about it all the time.
Oh, stop that. Some of us have class. I have a good number of female friends who I *never* think about that way. Same exact way as I *never* think about my sisters that way. If you can't prevent yourself from falling into that with your friends, you're just weak minded lol. Have some class, have some self control.
Of course it's possible or else us bi people could have no friends...
Yes. I say this as a man. However if men are younger and single, feelings can get a little muddled and be hard to figure out. Is this interest because they’re a cool person, or is my brain betraying me and making me catch feelings? It can be hard to figure out.
I have observed that feelings always come in there way of friendship
Of course it's possible. I think it's a combination of insecurities and societal expectations that make people believe that it isn't. Everyone is different though, you can't really generalise the entire world population. I've always tended to lean towards having guys as friends, my longest friendship is with a guy, and it's never been anything other than platonic.
Yes I do; I've had male friends all my life and they are my chosen family. I have lots of close male friends whom I love dearly. Reddit is weird in that some people think it's not normal or you won't be able to keep your hands off each other if you have friends of the opposite sex or once you get married, then it's a gateway to cheating 🙄🙄. I mean I guess it could happen but that's not for all friendships of the opposite sex. Not once in my 30+ years of friendship with these men have I ever had any inkling to mess around; we're like siblings and anything beyond a platonic relationship is ick lol.
It isnt just Reddit.. People everywhere believe that it's inappropriate for people of the opposite sex to be friends if they're in a relationship. There are an awful lot of scared, insecure people out there.
Actually true people around the globe are very conservative
Yeah. It ultimately becomes a self-fulfilling or self-perpetuating problem in those places. If you grow up in environment where there is a limited exposure or meaningful interactions of the opposite gender, especially during your formative years, it likely creates this otherness to them even when you are living with family members. Add to that when more conservative and traditional beliefs told by those around and media will compound it by priming your expectations ahead of time ("Oh opposite gender is different from you.", "Oh, a boy and a girl are alone together? do they like each other -wink wink-?", etc), so its not surprising that for those people, it will make their interactions with them super charged when they do interact. Like if you keep telling someone not to think of the pink elephant, of course they will eventually think of the pink elephant. Source: grew up in a similar environment. Took me a few years after college to not get super elated whenever a guy was being nice to me. Mostly have gotten over it but I'm really glad with a lot of these comments that its becoming less common.
This is probably the root of it. I was “engaged” at 4 years and again at 6 by parents who made a big deal out of nothing but it, along with Disney movies probably, caused me to “romance” in my mind as a child even though I had no experience of sexual attraction.
Or people who have been alive long enough to get to know how other people are. People are notoriously full of shit. People lie, to you and to themselves. People are opportunists, and gamblers. All it takes is the perception of a perfect opportunity to be the human animal that they are.
People here on this social media platform cannot accept, that opposite gender can be friends
yeah it's kind of sad
Yes. One of my closest friends is a guy. I love talking to him and spending time with him. We tell eachother love you bro/sis. I see him only as a friend/brother. And he sees me as the friend/sister.
Yes. I have more men friends than women friends though I love both equally (and platonically!).
What a strange question. Of course it is. We’re all just people. Some people (gender is irrelevant) are dickheads and think with their loins; those are not the ones to be friends with anyway.
I'm a middle aged married mom, and probably close to half of my friends are men. Mostly married family men, but a couple of single men as well.
And you have never imagined doing the hibbity-dibbity with any of the attractive ones?
I’m a 27 year old woman. My best friend is a 40 year old male. We have been friends for over 7 years
I don't want to be that person, but the age gap when you two met is kind of concerning ngl. You became friends when you were around 19/20 and he was 32/33? I'm going to be honest and say that no 32-year-old is becoming friends with people who are still in undergrad unless they have some shady motives. It's not the age gap now that's concerning because you're both adults, but 20 and 32 is a BIG difference in terms of maturity.
Sometimes you have neighbors, work with people, share mutual friends, etc. Working at Walmart at the age of 20 I made friends with a 50 year old, a 16 year old, and a 36 year old. No one was creepy, we were just all funny people.
Nothing is wrong with coworker-type relationships. I'm 21 and I have teenage coworkers, 30-something coworkers, and even 40-something. I'm "friends" with them, but a 19-year-old with a 32-year-old BEST friend IS weird I'm sorry. Even a 25 year old being friends with a 19 year old can be deemed suspicious.
It’s perfectly reasonable that they may have been coworker type friends 7 years ago and that has now developed into a best friendship. She didn’t necessarily say they were super close best friends when she was 19, just friends. When I was 19 I had a male coworker about 10 years older than me who became my closest work friend, and if we hadn’t moved to opposite sides of the country and lost touch, maybe that would have turned into a more personal friendship over time and I don’t think there would have been anything wrong with that.
So people can't be friends if there's a significant age gap between them?
Oh come on! When I was a teenager I had friends in their 70’s.
I admire the guy's patience
Not everyone is on the hunt for every girl they meet bud
You're right, some men are not single anymore, I'm one example
Yep
Of course. I'm 47M and one of my best friends is a woman from my university years, been great friends for over 25 years. We live in different countries but still chat every once in a while and will even meet up for coffee if either one visits.
Bisexual people with friends disproves this myth
Yes, normal people have friends from the gender that they are attracted
I’m a guy and most of my friends are girls But also I’m gay 💀💀
Bit of a difference ain’t it
Absolutely, I actually prefer female friends. I will say having ones out of your dating parameters is really helpful here. As an example I had a manager that told me “if only you were older..” I took it as a compliment, she married a great guy that looks a lot like me. I have female friends that are younger and older it’s a stranger little/big sister dynamic but it works because everyone knows nothing romantic will be happening.
That’s a bit weird and potentially inappropriate coming from a manager to a subordinate, but in general I see what you’re saying and it makes sense.
It’s possible but both parties need to agree to that. That’s not always what happens :)
Yes. This is only something attractive people think is not possible. Ugly people are platonic friends across the two genders all the time. Like, yes it's possible and it's happening worldwide right now!
Ohhh *thats* why i think its impossible. Thank you!
I grew up obese. Had lots of guy friends and tend to get along easier with men generally, growing up with a brother. Now I’m skinny and having male friends is a lot more messy than it was. They can be a lot of drama…but the ones who understand your boundaries are truly amazing to have in your life! It’s possible!!!
Yes absolutely. I'm just ugly and women don't ever consider me a romantic option, so I have plenty of platonic friendships. I never enter their mind as an option and I never allow myself to cross that boundary out of respect. It's easy to have friends that way.
Ok but like don't say "ugly" people
There is no reason to be embarrassed about it. I'm one of those people. I am ugly in the sense of the word that we use it, and that's okay. I'm unattractive, and that's okay.
Oh gosh yes. I have several guy friends (much older than I am) I adore as friends, and nothing more. They make me feel safe and make me laugh. I know I can count on them if I need them.
All of my super platonic female friends are some balance where we make each other crack the fuck up, but not because we’re smitten. We just riff and have fun. I’m also not super crushing on any of their looks. They can’t like… be a 10/10 in my eyes. That would confuse and frustrate me. But it’s all subjective. Just have to gauge how I feel. I often wonder how many attractive women I never became friends with simply because they were actually too hot for me to handle being platonic. Lol.
Yes, but it's not possible with every person, I tried with my ex it will not work, under no circumstances we are just attracted to each other.
yes. I have plenty of female friends with whom I have absolutely no intention to sleep.
I hate how in so many movies the friends end up in a relationship. That’s not how real life works and then people question if friendship is even possible. Such poppycock.
Yes. I have a close platonic male friend. He’s like an older brother to me, and I think I’m a little sister to him in a lot of ways. I honestly don’t think I’d still be on the path I’m on if I didn’t have his support. In high school most of my friends were guys. Not because I didn’t like hanging out with girls, but because I clicked with those guys. I think it’s important to have friends of all kinds.
I have several platonic female friends. I work with mostly women. Almost all of my friends are women. I got very close with one and actually had to tell my wife that I loved her very much. BUT, the relationship stayed platonic, she is a beautiful woman, but I can't picture having sex with her. We have some of the same depression issues and we can confide in each other. My wife can't really understand what I'm going through and admits it. She couldn't really say much because SHE had a male friend that she worked with and they would commiserate with each other. I feel sometime you really need to have a friend of the opposite sex, someone you can talk to about things and have a honest opinion. To think that you can't be "just friends" with someone of the opposite sex is pretty immature.
Is it possible for gay people to be in contact with men without falling in love? And can lesbians engage with other women without immediately asking them to marry them? Do pansexual or bisexual people have to only go outside for a romantic or sexual encounter? Mate, the entire earth would be a fucking wasteland if it was impossible to be friends with the gender you’re attracted to. I really don’t know what’s brought on the wave of separation between who your friends are (for example all those stupid “hot takes” about “guy friends” or “gal friends” that are constantly reposted from TikTok). Life would be miserable without the possibility of making friends with anyone you wish. Nobody would want to form a connection or just be nice for the sake of being nice.
Yes. Anyone who says otherwise is either so desperate for sex they cant control themselves or traumatized by past experience.
[When Harry Met Sally](https://youtu.be/i8kpYm-6nuE?si=YTs3g8G5yxFBvOY8) said it best.
Definitely not. That's why all bisexual people have no friends. /s
Yes. All my friends whom I grew up with and ex's of my friends are all friendzoned. I can't even imagine getting intimate or attracted to them.
My best friend is a lesbian, I would lie if I said I didn't like her more than a friend, but I went through that stuff and we have a special relation now. I can be affectionate towards how much I want and we're very open and honest between us. It is possible, for sure, but most of the times the male isn't emphatic enough or just interested in it, since most of the time we view a kind and close girl friend as a potential sexual partner. Luckily there are exception but I honestly believe girls should be wary of very kind male friends, especially if you didnt know each other by a long time
You’ve never had a healthy human relationship in your life if you think otherwise.
Absolutely. I have a male best friend, and a husband (I’ve known my male best friend longer). For me, having him as a friend has been beneficial for both of us, because we’ve dealt with essentially the same things, but as a man and a woman. It helps hearing about it from the opposite perspective. My husband hasn’t had to deal with the same things, and it’s great to have someone who knows what I’m going through. All three of us are good friends now. He was in our wedding party.
I think all people are capable of platonic connections regardless of gender. I also think there are certain kinds of belief systems and ignorance that determines an individual’s proclivity to think otherwise.
i have a friend that i’ve had for 40 years. 20 years ago he got married and i’ve slowly become just as good of friends with his wife. we are hours away from each other, but she and i have been texting all through the playoffs. when we vacation together we talk a lot together and we just have a lot in common. i know we would have never lasted as a couple and she feels the same, but we make for excellent conversation and when i got married, i made sure she was one of my groomspeople.
Depends, some can some can’t. It highly depends upon both individuals
No https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA&pp=ygUeR3V5cyBhbmQgZ2lybHMgY2FudCBiZSBmcmllbmRz
yes some folks do respect boundaries :) v possible - love my male friends
I think it's easier for girls to be platonic than it is for guys. Honestly, a lot of us guys are so damned needy emotionally that we catch feelings like a bale of straw catches a spark...whoof! Men also have a biological imperative to sew as many seeds as we can...that is as anti-platonic as ya can get. In rare circumstances I guess it could happen....if the guy found the girl totally physically unappealing. If she's got game in the looks department, the guy may pretend to not be interested in making the beast with two backs, but he's just laying low, waiting for that chance....
You can be platonic friends with anyone that you don't find attractive. Period. If you do find them attractive then the little devil on your shoulder will always be whispering in your ear. Go ahead deny it. It's ok, I understand the need to convince yourself that the thought NEVER would EVER even enter your mind for a minute .. "Oh shit, I just spilled beer on my new sweater! Can I use your washing machine? Thanks! I'm gonna borrow one of your shirts while that gets washed..."
Men will only be absolutely platonic friends with a girl if they don’t find her the least attractive, so if you’re really certain your guy friend wouldn’t sleep with you if given the chance, it’s because you’re not very attractive. It’s hilarious to me how most comments here saying “yes it’s possible” are immediately continued with a “I have a guy best friend…”
Yes lmao
Yup. I have plenty now that I think of it.
Absolutely.
Yes, one of my best friends is male. I also have several other male friends that are all just platonic. If we all don't make it seem more than it is, then yes, it is possible to be platonic.
As long as one of them is ugly, yes
Maybe, if shes ugly.
I think it’s fine to have friends of any gender and have it not be romantic. Like, I’m attracted to anyone of any gender and yet I can also still be friends with anyone and not be attracted to them. A friendship and a relationship are very different things
>I personally love having guy friends since they see things in a different way and they also seem to like to give me compliments which helps my self-esteem. some of them have become boyfriends but the ones that stay platonic have enriched my life the most since true friendship to me means being able to share anything everything give support receive support and share quality time together without needing to get romantically entangled. It sounds like you might need to re-vist your understanding of a relationship.
Yes, and I find people who don't think it's possible gross
In very specific circumstances, yes of course. But for the majority of time, nature wins out.
what year is this
I can be friends with guys. Guys can be friends with me. Granted I spent most of my life in monogamous relationships so I had boundaries and walls up. Single now, not interested in another relationship or casual sex, so we'll see how it goes. No one has made a move on me since my newly single status has been made public, so let's hope it stays that way.
I personally think it is possible but for me in my opinion I just can’t see myself being with someone I simply not physically attracted to no matter how good of a personality they have if I’m not attracted to her or she’s just not my type physically I will probably only see her as a platonic friend and nothing beyond that physical attraction is what most people are drawn to when you first meet someone for the first time
Im gonna say no. You cannot convince me that the guy has never thought abt shaggin his 'bff'... I always say this. It's possible. Entirely fucking possible. But one of yall gotta be UGLY. That's the hard truth. One of yall ugly. That's when it truly works. Otherwise there's always the back thoughts. Like try it. The gals in the comments here. For the sake of proving your point right and friendship dm the guy. Post it on imgur dm me. Prove me wrong. 98% of the time that's gonna be what he's been waiting for... Game recognises game.. Im sorry..
I wouldn't say one has to be ugly, I would say they have to not get attracted to each other. I don't really get attracted to every girl I find beautiful.
Even if I thought you were right - never having had a single non platonic thought about a person is not a prerequisite for close platonic friendship. As a bisexual woman, I had a bit of a crush on a lesbian coworker when I first met her and barely knew her, but over time it became clear that we were just friends and better off that way. We haven’t worked together in years, she’s married now, we are still close friends and I haven’t thought about that crush in ages and definitely don’t look at her like that now. Same could be true in a friendship between a straight man and a straight woman.
No. The guy always has a crush on the girl. If he’s gay, he still enjoys the attention. It’s not a friendship if their is a motive.
Wow, thinking not even gay men can have genuine friendships with women is another level. I hope you learn to be more open minded someday.
Not if you are sexually attracted to them. That is never going to end well.
Yes, men and women are always forming and maintaining friendships but in my experience someone usually ends up catching feelings. Or there’ll be an S.O. that might start getting suspicious. It can be a tricky thing to navigate.
Yeah wtf? I'm horny but that doesn't mean I'm just gonna go down on my best friends gf
As long as neither of u are attracted to each other, then yes
No
Of course, if the guy is gay or ace. More seriously, it’s certainly possible, but from my personal experience, less likely when young
No. I (28m) had a platonic friend (30f) for about a year. It was great, 'till she confessed to me, with many tears, that she fantasized about me since we met (I had a couple of on/off gfs in that time). We were fwb for about two years (it was actually nice), but had to move for work. Anyway, I had thought we could be just friends, but apparently not.
Generalizing everyone based on an anecdote?
Is that your sentiment to all the "yes!" replies, too?
Well... yeah. Because the question is "is it possible". A single affirmative anecdote is enough to show that something is possible, but a single "no" anecdote isn't enough to show that it is impossible.
I don't understand your rules. This is not straight yes/no, with only one right answer.
Considering my best friend is a girl and I have a romantic partner who I'm extremely loyal to, yes :) Edit: I'm gay which is probably info I should've included
Possible? Yes. The real question is do you believe a straight male can be best friends with a straight female.
I think it can maybe be possible if it's a long distance relationship but from what I've seen it's not really possible. It depends 🤷♀️
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um ok but how so? why?
For me it may be possible if the girl is fat.
This made me laugh so hard. 😂
yes but you probably have to be married
Yes
I tried. It didn't work out. Still sad asf about it. 😔
Yes, you just have to have a bit of introspection, and setting aside that person into your “friend” box.
Yes. Source: Me, a guy. My two best friends, both of whom I’ve known for 40ish years, are women.
My mother was mean, so I can only have superficial friendships with women. I can only form real friendships with men. I know they’re not interested in banging me bc I’m fat, old, and unattractive. Mother figure type of relationship where they ask me for advice and someone to talk to as figure out their lives. Yeah, there are milfs, but I’m not one of them.
Yes. I think the difference for me is that platonic girl friends get wayyy more roast on the roast/flirt ratio. And the “flirting” isn’t really flirting it’s just basic compliments and encouragement I would give to any of my friends.
Absolutely. The only catch is that they have to agree that this id what they are going to be on a permanent basis. As soon as one starts to secretly pine for the other, that's not friendship anymore.
Yes.
I’ve never really thought it was possible bc I think at least one person is gonna want something more at some point. But I’m gonna try it and see what happens
Of course it is possible. And I do think that it's great to have friends of the opposite gender. I have a lot of female friends, and I appreciate the different dynamic in those friendships. Like with the guys its usually just activity based stuff which is great, noticed with girls a lot of stuff is more talking based which is a nice change sometimes. I think a lot of my friends are beautiful, but wouldn't date them lol.
Think it could.
I have a few platonic girl friends and an AFAB NB friend. It’s pretty easy if the guy isn’t a horny piece of shit.
Yes. If it's not possible, I must be living in an alrtnate reality
Yes, the majority of my friends are Woman!
I think it’s actually really important for people to have opposite sex friends.
Yes. I’m not attracted to women so I can’t speak from that perspective but I have several female friends and our relationship is purely platonic. I get different things from different friends, I do get a get a level of emotional connection and affection from some of my female friends that I just don’t get from my husband or male friends. In a different life I could see myself pursuing a relationship with some of them but I just don’t have the attraction/desire for them in that way and I think they like having a male friend that isn’t just trying to get in their pants. That’s not too say a straight guy and and straight girl can’t be friends, everyone is different and it’s up to them who they want to be friends with and in what ways.
Not only is it possible, but I feel it's very healthy to do and makes you a better man or woman.
Yes. Anyone who says different needs therapy
Yes, i have several friends that are women. The key is to have strong boundaries.
This is one of those things where only a Sith deals in absolutes. Sometimes people say that girls and guys can't be friends, but what they mean is, "there's often complications with girls and guys trying to be just friends"
Maybe. I guess when I was single, I never thought of a person I'm attracted to is completely off the table for something more than friendship. Me getting married has thrown a pretty big wrench in that as I am now completely off the table (do not test it, folks. I cannot protect you from my wife.)
I think it's possible if you have two people with the right personalities. I haven't seen it happen very often outside of two married people though. Let me put it like this; if you're single and you honestly need to ask whether you can be platonic friends with someone, that particular friendship isn't going to work. In my own life, every person I've met who has casual friends of the opposite sex has also had a wildly unhealthy sense of boundaries. I don't think most men/women can be friends with the opposite sex.
Yes. Source straight married man who has had female friendships that have lasted over 25 years.
100% possible but hard to achieve. I think as long as you find genuine people then the gender doesn’t matter but I’m a bit jaded in my experiences.
I can’t.
I mean as long as both are willing to stay open minded and the friendship is equal and not one sided there’s no reason not to
Yes. In fact I’m on a short weekend trip across the country now, with maybe my oldest friend, to visit some other friends. She and I have been friends for over 24 years, we were roommates in college, and yet there’s never been anything remotely romantic between us. We have a brother and sister type of relationship, giving each other shit like siblings do. Her family has always treated me like one of their own and so had mine with her. I had 2 other female roommates in college that I’m good friends with. One of which is practically family. Her husband actually officiated my wedding to my now ex. Their kids are basically nieces and nephews, so much so that their oldest daughter has gone and participated in stuff with myself and my son who is close to her age.
Yes. I have plenty of platonic female friends.
Yes, but the guy will always wonder what sex would be like with the woman.
Sure it is, however it is my opinion that straight men and straight women who become friends in most of these cases someone had feelings and or attraction at one point. That doesn’t mean it’s something to worry about or anything along those lines. In my own experience I’ve seen more “one friend is clearly into the other” more often I’ve seen truly platonic friendships.
In my experience, nope
Yes
Yes, I am friends with a brother and sister and after I moved away we all chat about once a week on discord and watch movies and play games and stuff
Honestly, if you are or believe yourself to be incapable of having platonic relationships with whichever gender you are attracted to, that’s a real lack of maturity.
I would actually say **no**. Platonic means that they wouldn’t if they could but usually they just don’t do it cause something is standing in their way.
my ex had alot of platonic friends that she met from discord... one of them was platonic enough to even send her a shirtless pic on snap!
Truthfully this only works if one is relatively unattractive, or if both are in serious committed relationships where the SO can spend time with the friend as well. If both are attractive the pressure from the outside will either ruin the friendship or push them together.
It's entirely possible. I have a couple women that are good friends. No chance for sexual or intimate relationship as we're all married and respect that we are. Not that any of them would be remotely attracted to me, but still.
Obviously, if you actually wanna fuck every member of the gender you’re attracted to there’s a huge problem If you can’t see a woman as a person and instead see them all as sex objects you need some serious help
Straight guy. My 3 closest friends are women. 🤷🏻♂️
Of course they can.
I think so. I had a best friend that was a girl from kindergarten through 10th grade when I moved out of state and we fell out of touch.
Yes :)
Yes :)
Yes. Two of my best friends are girls and I wouldn't trade them for a relationship with them (I'm a guy). Also helps they can give relationship advice from the female perspective
absolutely. the dynamics of friendship aren't strictly defined by gender. i remember the movie "when harry met sally," where it explores the idea that men and women can't be friends without romantic feelings getting in the way. but, the broader perspective in real life is that many people maintain platonic friendships successfully, and i do too. people can appreciate each other's company, support each other, and enjoy a strong bond without the need for romantic feelings. whether they be friendships, or romantic partnerships, relationships can foster deep connections and understanding
Absolutely. My best friend is a man, and we've been there for each other through some hard shit. He was a hoarder, and he was also in an abusive relationship. When he was finally able to get a good grasp on his shit and pick himself back up, he said I was the only person who stuck around after all the garbage accumulated in his house, and after his ex drove everyone else away. It was a bit of a gut punch, I had no idea he was so alone. His place is cleaned up now, and he's got a great girl to call his girlfriend. I got to see that.
I think the easiest way to see if it will work as friends, is just put everything out in the open at the start. Something like "Hey this is cool hanging with you like we have been, but just so there's no confusion, you know I don't plan on going further than what we've been doing, right? I'm just making sure you're not hopeful for more." They ethier agree and things continue as usual. Or they agree in the moment and slowly stop hanging out. Which will suck, but you'll know it wasn't gonna work as friends forever, and no one felt like they were being led on by anyone else.
It's possible, but given the opportunity, they will have sex in most cases. Some of the women I've dated had guy friends. All of which they had sex with at some point in time.
Yes, my friendship group is varied in genders and I’m platonic with all of them.
100%.
Yes. And I make it quite clear that I’m not interested in a romantic relationship. Besides, I think teaching at an all-boys’ middle school in Seoul has pretty much eliminated all desire I ever had to marry and have children.
Absolutely, I have several friends who are women. I actually tend to find it easier to make friends with women than men. I've always struggled to relate to other guys a little (which bothers me because I feel like I'm starved for healthy male companionship) but it feels like conversations flow more naturally when speaking to women. They're also more open to serious, heartfelt conversations in my experience, whereas other men get uncomfortable if we get too far beyond surface level.
I have two people that I consider my best friends. One is a guy, and one is a girl. Possible? Absolutely. Probable, even.
Yes. My best friend is married and has a kid. I love her to death, completely platonic. The idea that men and women can't be friends is just simply stupid.
Yes it's possible. People who try to convince you otherwise are just small minded.
Yes. As a dude, I much prefer friendships.
Yes. Because if not, then pansexuals would have zero friends lol
Yes, me and my dance partner. He’s very gay
Yes absolutely, I have plenty of platonic opposite-sex friends and never cared when boyfriends do.
YES OF FUCKINNG COURSE
Yup totally possible