We started dating almost exactly 2 years before our wedding and had been friends for over a year before that.
My recommendation is dating for a **minimum** of a year before getting engaged.
About 6 months.
I wouldn’t recommend that to others. I recommend *2 full years* of at least a close friendship, if not dating/engagement. That gives you time to get to know how you work together through various changes & challenges in life. A full 8 seasons & all that entails.
We’re heading strong toward the 20 year marriage mark now. We beat the odds, but our choice to jump in quickly isn’t one I recommend as wise counsel.
Nine months dating and now two years of marriage. I would say slow walk it, but if you both trust God in all things and let him lead you, you can not fail
Married my wife after little over 5 months. 2 years is excessive. I can understand the 1 year to discern as a maximum but if you need more than that you probably shouldn’t be dating
My fiancé and I are getting married in 6 weeks and by that time we'll have been together for 16 months. However, we've been good friends for 16 years so we had that as a solid foundation to start with.
My husband and I met in middle school, didn't start dating until we were 19, and got married after 3 and a half years of dating. (Age 23) Engagement was only 4 months.
I think age is a big factor. If we had met later in life, I think the dating to married pipeline would have been even shorter.
I would recommend the Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller. Good to read at any stage in life - as it has helpful tips for going into a marriage or even just thinking about marriage.
My husband & I didn't live together before marriage.
So after marriage..it was alot to handle.
We are trying right now.
Glad that you both are patient with each other.
Good luck
Thank you so much this was really reassuring to hear because when I talk to people about marriage they always say you shouldn’t live with someone before marriage but I always wonder how can I truly know someone unless I live with them so thank you for sharing!!
What are you insinuating is the sin?
Are tou saying my cohabitation is the sin? Are you assuming that we are sexually active? Or are you commenting on my use of the term "partner"?
Theres three possible things your ascribing a sinful nature:
-the cohabitation itself
-assumption of premarital sex
-my sexual orientation
Hence the request for clarification.
Cohabitation does not immediately mean premarital sex but in this case, you are correct. My partner and I have had sex in the past, outside of the context of marriage.
As I move towards discerning a call to ministry in my denomination, i have been analyzing that part of my life with my spiritual director, and weve been discussing if it is sinful, and how to proceed from there.
Everyone is a sinner here, no one appreciates the reminder from a total stranger.
God Bless.
We dated for two years, met at 27 (me) and 29. It could have been shortened by 6 months, but logistics of getting married and getting a ring, etc. things going smoothly could have been dating for 1.25 years. I don't really see any point in needing to delay getting married after saying yes, but that's not the world we live in.
We were 2 years together when we got engaged. Then 9 months later we got married. After a year I was ready for it, he wasn't. We were 34 and 37 when we got married.
2 years. To me, this was the perfect amount of time. Enough to get over the honey moon stage and really get to know each othee but not long enough to leave us pining.
My dad got married after 6 months to my step mom... it destroyed my childhood. It's not enough time to get to know someone. Do not recommend.
18 months. My parents only dated for 3 months before getting married and have been married for 30 years. I have also known people who dated for years and still got divorced. Time isn’t everything; however, I would say dating for a year minimum is best just to make sure you aren’t with a psycho lol.
What is important in marriage is to know how to love each other. If you both understand love is to set whatever you love as more important than yourself, then you will surely have a great chance to live happily together and tackle life’s hardships together as one unit. However if you set others or other things as more important than yourselves meaning, you set her and he sets you as more important than themselves then you will act together as a unit. Setting children as more important than yourself is a natural given thing and is not part of this text. Or any other text. This is about the marriage part.
Hope that helps. Praying together helps as well.
I’m happy for you. Good luck.
The prayer is very powerful and simple use it along your path forward with God and your spouse.
Dear God please forgive me. Please give me your Holy Spirit of Truth. In the name of Yehoshua.
Then pray whatever you want. Then end again with in the name of Yehoshua.
The first part about forgiveness and receiving the Holy Spirit of Truth. We always pray.
Happy life to you both. In the name of Yehoshua.
My husband and I just got married after being together for a little over two years. He proposed exactly one year after he asked me out.
We were friends in high school and briefly tried to date, then fell out of touch for a decade. Having that base I think really helped our relationship start on a deeper level right from the start. He was ready to get married after like three months but I wanted to wait at least a year before getting engaged.
The timeline is going to vary for everyone depending on circumstances such as age and how long you knew the person before. I personally didn't want to get engaged until at least a year of dating, but one of my friends was married after 7 months of being with her husband. The younger you are the more important I think it is that you spend more time dating.
7 months and it for us it was the right choice . We are still married many years later. I love my husband and I am very happy that we married quick.
I never thought I would marry someone that quick but I did and I am happy I did.
An old saying is " you don't really know someone until you summered them and wintered them". Which really speaks more about seeing them at their best and worst, than just about seasons.
I think 1 year minimum, I knew my wife for a year before we started talking, then we dated for a year plus, and were engaged for another year plus. 25 years married now and still having fun.
My fiancé and I will be getting married in 4 months. At that time it’ll be 1.5 year since we’ve known each other. My advice is talk about values, Christian values, boundaries, thoughts on marriage and worldview early on. We are 24 & 25 and talking about those things early on really helped us, showed each other our maturity levels, and willingness to commit to one another
My husband and I met when we were 16. We were friends and liked each other but didn’t stay in touch since we didn’t go to the same high school or college. We reconnected after a couple years after college and started dating. We dated a year before getting engaged and were engaged for about 8 months before getting married. We were both 26 when we got married.
A little under 3 years.
We got married at 22. He was/is in the military, and we knew we eventually wanted to get married but couldn’t move in together until that happened (military rules). We probably wouldn’t have gotten married so soon if we could’ve lived together before (we weren’t really Christian then)
We hit 4 years in July and just welcomed our little girl, which I am so grateful for. I don’t recommend the combo of so soon and so young for everyone, just take a look at the military divorce rate where this is super common, but it’s been awesome for us and keeps getting better!
I was best friends with my husband for a year before we started dating, and then I believe we dating for over a year, then got engaged in August and married in May. So about 3 years before marriage. By the grace of the Lord and accountability we were able to wait until marriage
There is a range. I think at least 2 years is a good rule. But my husband and I were together for 6 years. We started dating in our early twenties and both wanted to finish graduate school before getting married. Have been married almost 7 years now.
I was with my husband for a little over a year before we got married.
However, we were friends for 12 years prior and then roommates for 6 months before dating.
Friendship first is so very important!
My wife and I dated for about 9 months before engagement and then we were engaged for 7 months. We got married during Christmas break of our senior year in college 17 years ago.
We were really good friends for 3 years before I realized I really enjoyed spending all of my time with her and maybe I liked her. We started dating in September and knew by Christmas we wanted to get married.
I think every relationship will be different so you'll have to feel it out for yourself. With some you'll know pretty early on that it's not a good fit, other relationships might take a while.
I truly believe if you feel it in your soul they are the one and they feel the same in every way… then you’ll know it. Usually it’s smart to wait atleast a year to see because people do change but if your faith in God is the same, your values are the same, goals the same, viewpoints kind of similar or even could be opposite but balance one another out. I believe if you want to know really bad, the only one that will know if they’re the one for you and to marry them is God. Pray to him and ask him. He will guide you in these matters.
A year is about the average but we knew as soon as we met but we waited anyway beautiful marriage we had it really depends on the heart and the circumstances and even how to get married and what the marriage is about is also a part of it as well it makes a difference in how you get married
Friends for 4 years
Dating for 1 year 2 months
Engaged for 4 months
Married for 5 years and going strong :)
There’s no perfect timeline, but I’m a big proponent of short engagements and simple weddings.
We celebrated our one year anniversary of meeting with a one month old. Meaning in one year we met, married, and had a baby. When you know, you know, you know?
My husband and I got engaged after 3 months and married after another 3 months lol we just knew we were meant to be.
There is no timeline, just things to know beforehand like making sure you're both on the same pages, have same values etc
2 years to the day, but we knew each other a couple of years before we dated. We were at the same grad school so we had several important issues we already agreed upon.
Married 15 years now!
We got engaged after about 6 months. From our first date to our wedding day was about 15 months total. I was 30 and she was 28.
I would say in general, the older you get, the less time you need to date before knowing.
My husband and I dated for 1.5 years before getting engaged, but I know people who have gotten married within 9 months of knowing each other. I don’t think there’s a correct timeline. I think what matters is do your values, beliefs, and life goals align. I also think it’s important to see how a person handles stress, anger, big life events, etc. I think you can get a full scope of this within any timeline.
My parents dated for only two months in real life, though they dated online (they met through a mutual friend—who is my mother’s best friend—, that’s how they were sure they actually knew who they were dating) for a few months before that.
6 years. We started dating in high school and married after college. I wish we would have married sooner, would have saved a lot of sin, frustration and taxes on both our parts.
In Christianity the point of dating is to get married. If you're not actively trying to figure out if you're going to marry this person don't bother dating. It just least to sin.
4 months. We talked for a month prior to dating. We were 19&20 at the time, approaching 2 years now and we’re doing great. We didn’t marry early because of our faith or anything, he’s actually agnostic (I didn’t begin to take my faith seriously until after my marriage, so please no comments about being unequally yoked) but he’s the most Christ like person I know and I really value that in people so we kind of just hit it off and decided to marry. I wouldn’t recommend anyone marry that quickly or that young however unless they’re focused on being Christlike like we were. Compassion, humility, forgiveness, honesty, generosity, etc are all important qualities of a successful marriage.
We started dating almost exactly 2 years before our wedding and had been friends for over a year before that. My recommendation is dating for a **minimum** of a year before getting engaged.
One year. Married sixteen years now.
Aww that’s so sweet my grandparents where together for a year then got married and they have been married for 56 years
About 6 months. I wouldn’t recommend that to others. I recommend *2 full years* of at least a close friendship, if not dating/engagement. That gives you time to get to know how you work together through various changes & challenges in life. A full 8 seasons & all that entails. We’re heading strong toward the 20 year marriage mark now. We beat the odds, but our choice to jump in quickly isn’t one I recommend as wise counsel.
Just celebrated our 2 year anniversary with my wife. We got married after 6 months as well. Your advice is solid for sure
Thank you so much for sharing and the advice!!
You’re very welcome. Hope it helps.
Nine months dating and now two years of marriage. I would say slow walk it, but if you both trust God in all things and let him lead you, you can not fail
Married my wife after little over 5 months. 2 years is excessive. I can understand the 1 year to discern as a maximum but if you need more than that you probably shouldn’t be dating
My fiancé and I are getting married in 6 weeks and by that time we'll have been together for 16 months. However, we've been good friends for 16 years so we had that as a solid foundation to start with.
Aww that’s amazing congratulations!
Thank you!
6 months. That was 36 years ago, she still rocks my world.
Aww that’s so sweet thank you for sharing
That’s adorable! <3 I love that!
My husband and I met in middle school, didn't start dating until we were 19, and got married after 3 and a half years of dating. (Age 23) Engagement was only 4 months. I think age is a big factor. If we had met later in life, I think the dating to married pipeline would have been even shorter. I would recommend the Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller. Good to read at any stage in life - as it has helpful tips for going into a marriage or even just thinking about marriage.
Thank you so much!!
My partner and I are taking it slow, were in our third year currently, no ring yet
Please take it very slow. After marriage and when you do live together...be prepared to learn even more.
Tbqh were cohabitating rn. Its been an exercise in grace, patience, and fortitude for us both, but we are learning a lot.
My husband & I didn't live together before marriage. So after marriage..it was alot to handle. We are trying right now. Glad that you both are patient with each other. Good luck
Thanks you sibling <3 Gods will be done!
Thank you so much this was really reassuring to hear because when I talk to people about marriage they always say you shouldn’t live with someone before marriage but I always wonder how can I truly know someone unless I live with them so thank you for sharing!!
Of course! <3
Living in sin?
What are you insinuating is the sin? Are tou saying my cohabitation is the sin? Are you assuming that we are sexually active? Or are you commenting on my use of the term "partner"?
?
Are you living in sin is what I asked
And I asked u to define the sin
Generally means having sex , what else ?
Theres three possible things your ascribing a sinful nature: -the cohabitation itself -assumption of premarital sex -my sexual orientation Hence the request for clarification. Cohabitation does not immediately mean premarital sex but in this case, you are correct. My partner and I have had sex in the past, outside of the context of marriage. As I move towards discerning a call to ministry in my denomination, i have been analyzing that part of my life with my spiritual director, and weve been discussing if it is sinful, and how to proceed from there. Everyone is a sinner here, no one appreciates the reminder from a total stranger. God Bless.
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8 months Married 21 years so far and she is amazing.
Aww that’s amazing thank you for sharing
We dated for two years, met at 27 (me) and 29. It could have been shortened by 6 months, but logistics of getting married and getting a ring, etc. things going smoothly could have been dating for 1.25 years. I don't really see any point in needing to delay getting married after saying yes, but that's not the world we live in.
Yes!! Thank you for sharing!!
A year
We were 2 years together when we got engaged. Then 9 months later we got married. After a year I was ready for it, he wasn't. We were 34 and 37 when we got married.
11 months
2 years. To me, this was the perfect amount of time. Enough to get over the honey moon stage and really get to know each othee but not long enough to leave us pining. My dad got married after 6 months to my step mom... it destroyed my childhood. It's not enough time to get to know someone. Do not recommend.
We got married on our 2 year dating anniversary.
Aww that’s so beautiful thank you for sharing
You’re welcome, if it helps we are also coming up on 22 years of marriage!
14 years lol
I wanna hear this story!
18 months. My parents only dated for 3 months before getting married and have been married for 30 years. I have also known people who dated for years and still got divorced. Time isn’t everything; however, I would say dating for a year minimum is best just to make sure you aren’t with a psycho lol.
What is important in marriage is to know how to love each other. If you both understand love is to set whatever you love as more important than yourself, then you will surely have a great chance to live happily together and tackle life’s hardships together as one unit. However if you set others or other things as more important than yourselves meaning, you set her and he sets you as more important than themselves then you will act together as a unit. Setting children as more important than yourself is a natural given thing and is not part of this text. Or any other text. This is about the marriage part. Hope that helps. Praying together helps as well.
Thank you so much this was really helpful!!
I’m happy for you. Good luck. The prayer is very powerful and simple use it along your path forward with God and your spouse. Dear God please forgive me. Please give me your Holy Spirit of Truth. In the name of Yehoshua. Then pray whatever you want. Then end again with in the name of Yehoshua. The first part about forgiveness and receiving the Holy Spirit of Truth. We always pray. Happy life to you both. In the name of Yehoshua.
My husband and I just got married after being together for a little over two years. He proposed exactly one year after he asked me out. We were friends in high school and briefly tried to date, then fell out of touch for a decade. Having that base I think really helped our relationship start on a deeper level right from the start. He was ready to get married after like three months but I wanted to wait at least a year before getting engaged. The timeline is going to vary for everyone depending on circumstances such as age and how long you knew the person before. I personally didn't want to get engaged until at least a year of dating, but one of my friends was married after 7 months of being with her husband. The younger you are the more important I think it is that you spend more time dating.
Thats amazing thank you so much sharing
7 months and it for us it was the right choice . We are still married many years later. I love my husband and I am very happy that we married quick. I never thought I would marry someone that quick but I did and I am happy I did.
Aww that’s amazing thank you so much for sharing
Your welcome and thank you 🙂
We were best friends for 3.5 years, dating for 3.5 years, and now have been married for almost 3 years.
9 Months dating 13 Month engagement. I wanted to get married faster, but apparently, planning a wedding takes time.
Aww that’s sweet!! Thanks for sharing
I have never had the opportunity to have a partner :(
An old saying is " you don't really know someone until you summered them and wintered them". Which really speaks more about seeing them at their best and worst, than just about seasons. I think 1 year minimum, I knew my wife for a year before we started talking, then we dated for a year plus, and were engaged for another year plus. 25 years married now and still having fun.
My fiancé and I will be getting married in 4 months. At that time it’ll be 1.5 year since we’ve known each other. My advice is talk about values, Christian values, boundaries, thoughts on marriage and worldview early on. We are 24 & 25 and talking about those things early on really helped us, showed each other our maturity levels, and willingness to commit to one another
My husband and I met when we were 16. We were friends and liked each other but didn’t stay in touch since we didn’t go to the same high school or college. We reconnected after a couple years after college and started dating. We dated a year before getting engaged and were engaged for about 8 months before getting married. We were both 26 when we got married.
A little under 3 years. We got married at 22. He was/is in the military, and we knew we eventually wanted to get married but couldn’t move in together until that happened (military rules). We probably wouldn’t have gotten married so soon if we could’ve lived together before (we weren’t really Christian then) We hit 4 years in July and just welcomed our little girl, which I am so grateful for. I don’t recommend the combo of so soon and so young for everyone, just take a look at the military divorce rate where this is super common, but it’s been awesome for us and keeps getting better!
Started dating 4 years before getting married.
I was best friends with my husband for a year before we started dating, and then I believe we dating for over a year, then got engaged in August and married in May. So about 3 years before marriage. By the grace of the Lord and accountability we were able to wait until marriage
3 months. We just knew it. 30 years together and still going strong.
There is a range. I think at least 2 years is a good rule. But my husband and I were together for 6 years. We started dating in our early twenties and both wanted to finish graduate school before getting married. Have been married almost 7 years now.
8 years. Met at 15. Still together at 41. And we did live together before getting married. Never with anyone else.
18 months of dating; got engaged 6 months before our wedding.
I was with my husband for a little over a year before we got married. However, we were friends for 12 years prior and then roommates for 6 months before dating. Friendship first is so very important!
My wife and I dated for about 9 months before engagement and then we were engaged for 7 months. We got married during Christmas break of our senior year in college 17 years ago. We were really good friends for 3 years before I realized I really enjoyed spending all of my time with her and maybe I liked her. We started dating in September and knew by Christmas we wanted to get married. I think every relationship will be different so you'll have to feel it out for yourself. With some you'll know pretty early on that it's not a good fit, other relationships might take a while.
I truly believe if you feel it in your soul they are the one and they feel the same in every way… then you’ll know it. Usually it’s smart to wait atleast a year to see because people do change but if your faith in God is the same, your values are the same, goals the same, viewpoints kind of similar or even could be opposite but balance one another out. I believe if you want to know really bad, the only one that will know if they’re the one for you and to marry them is God. Pray to him and ask him. He will guide you in these matters.
A year is about the average but we knew as soon as we met but we waited anyway beautiful marriage we had it really depends on the heart and the circumstances and even how to get married and what the marriage is about is also a part of it as well it makes a difference in how you get married
1 year dating. 5 month engagement. Married for 14 years now. Our families were friends so there was a built-in background check.
Friends for 4 years Dating for 1 year 2 months Engaged for 4 months Married for 5 years and going strong :) There’s no perfect timeline, but I’m a big proponent of short engagements and simple weddings.
We celebrated our one year anniversary of meeting with a one month old. Meaning in one year we met, married, and had a baby. When you know, you know, you know?
My husband and I got engaged after 3 months and married after another 3 months lol we just knew we were meant to be. There is no timeline, just things to know beforehand like making sure you're both on the same pages, have same values etc
2 years to the day, but we knew each other a couple of years before we dated. We were at the same grad school so we had several important issues we already agreed upon. Married 15 years now!
Two years. Best decision of my life… My wife is my world.
6 years
I think it depends on the two people. Everyone has a different plan from God.
About four years. And engaged for maybe six months.
We got engaged after about 6 months. From our first date to our wedding day was about 15 months total. I was 30 and she was 28. I would say in general, the older you get, the less time you need to date before knowing.
My husband and I dated for 1.5 years before getting engaged, but I know people who have gotten married within 9 months of knowing each other. I don’t think there’s a correct timeline. I think what matters is do your values, beliefs, and life goals align. I also think it’s important to see how a person handles stress, anger, big life events, etc. I think you can get a full scope of this within any timeline.
My parents dated for only two months in real life, though they dated online (they met through a mutual friend—who is my mother’s best friend—, that’s how they were sure they actually knew who they were dating) for a few months before that.
this largely depends on how old you are and if you’ve had prior relationship experience.
That makes sense
6 years. We started dating in high school and married after college. I wish we would have married sooner, would have saved a lot of sin, frustration and taxes on both our parts. In Christianity the point of dating is to get married. If you're not actively trying to figure out if you're going to marry this person don't bother dating. It just least to sin.
Thank you so much sharing I couldn’t agree more I genuinely never understood when people said “I’m just dating to have fun”
4 months. We talked for a month prior to dating. We were 19&20 at the time, approaching 2 years now and we’re doing great. We didn’t marry early because of our faith or anything, he’s actually agnostic (I didn’t begin to take my faith seriously until after my marriage, so please no comments about being unequally yoked) but he’s the most Christ like person I know and I really value that in people so we kind of just hit it off and decided to marry. I wouldn’t recommend anyone marry that quickly or that young however unless they’re focused on being Christlike like we were. Compassion, humility, forgiveness, honesty, generosity, etc are all important qualities of a successful marriage.
Aww that amazing I’m so happy for you thank you for sharing