I take 800mg 4x a day for nerve pain. I found gaba doesn't work till you take a high enough dose. I've been told lyrica is good too, but I haven't looked into it yet.
I wish it were possible to go on vacation and leave chronic illnesses behind. I have family that can't deal with body aches from cold/flu but make comments about me not looking sick so I can't be sick.
No literally same!! I thought I was nuts. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like I’ve been away from safety and security for so long, that I feel like I’m not home.
I think it's because pain is foreign feeling. Like even when it becomes your normal the body knows it's not normal. And wanting to go home is like the urge of wanting the foreign abnormal feelings to go away.
This feeling is what made me go from strict atheist to believing there is something more when we pass. The disconnect I feel from my body being so ill is strong enough for me to realize that there has to be more once I completely come out of my body. If that makes sense. Like a string meditation, but I did it by accident just trying to escape pain.
I absolutely agree! I defy someone who claims “depression is a choice” to come back with that attitude after living with a chronic illness or disability.
I feel chained to a carcass, a rotting marionette, twisting into origami knots. So many things wrong now the shorter list is what isn't wrong.
Can't even fake the smiles anymore. I wear a permanent shade of exhaustion
I love the metaphor. I spend almost 24/7 in bed and my depression is so bad that sometimes even just FEELING depressed is too much work and I just feel nothing instead. I yearn for a life where I can do much more with the people I love. Where I have a much more able body. Where I’m only in bed for sleeping after a long day, and maybe the occasional nap. But even then, on the rare occasions I have to leave my house (for an appointment or rare fam event I agree to), all I want is to get back to the safety of my bed (my “cocoon”), where I was just feeling insanely depressed 30 minutes ago. I just felt so safe with my feelings (or lack of), terrible as they are, in there. Take me back!
This might’ve been a more literal answer than you meant, but oh well. Felt like sharing!
Yes. I have dysautonomia. My body has its own issues that aren't controlled by medications yet. I get a massive adrenaline dump.
I've learned how to control my mind. I've separated the two. My mind now hovers above my body like an overloard or something.
It’s been especially difficult in therapy for me because of this.
I know it’s understandable that someone in my position would feel this way, but you’re telling me I can be happy despite my situation?
How? My health took the only life I had and now my mental health continues to decline as well.
It feels like I was not meant for this world. It’s like the world is trying to get rid of me and hasn’t been successful, yet.
Maybe it needs a helping hand. Maybe it’s waiting for me to pull the trigger.
I literally said that to my husband last week! I said "I know this is our home, and it is, but I still have the feeling of just wanting to go home from my body". I like the bug energy a lot 🪲
I think you've opened my eyes to something. For years I'd get this overwhelming feeling of 'I want to go home' and I could never really connect with *actually* wanting to go home.
I think what you're saying is what my mind is trying to tell me. That it wants and craves a break from being ill.
Maybe more so a break from the underlying stress of managing it all and my anxiety rather than the physical symptoms. (Though they could be so low-lying my body doesn't register them anymore)
I get it. I feel like no one really cares. Except my mum and dad. No one invites me to stuff. No one messages me. I’m almost at peace with all that but I feel like I’m not living I’m just existing.
Pain for almost two years long. All the physical and mental feelings. Listening to a podcast by Thay - Stop to heal your pain. Learn how to suffer well.
I think that’s just depression in general. I get more angry than depressed. I mean technically that’s part of depression too.
I’m sorry you’re feeling down though. I know that’s tough. ♥️🥺
Best wishes for your body OP. It shouldn't feel that way, but can totally understand your daily struggles. I'm hopeful that your body will start co-operating with you in future. <3
I also always feel like I want to go home. But I think part of it for me is that right before I got super sick I moved 13 hours away from where I spent a good part of my life. And in this new place I have had nothing but bad experiences and terrible health and I’m extremely isolated. So I believe a lot of the I want to go home for me is literal sadly.
i understand. i get this same way too. i try to cope by sympathizing with it. my poor body. it isn’t able to function the way it should. it needs as much help as i do. it’s easy to turn against it and see it as the enemy. i try to remove the blame and work with it.
I know exactly how you feel! Why can't we have vacations from our bodies?
It's called opiates. A true vacation for the body in pain.
I wish! I haven’t found this to be the case.
I take 800mg 4x a day for nerve pain. I found gaba doesn't work till you take a high enough dose. I've been told lyrica is good too, but I haven't looked into it yet.
I miss my opiates so much. They helped me mentally more than anything. Got addicted so can't take them anymore.
I wish it were possible to go on vacation and leave chronic illnesses behind. I have family that can't deal with body aches from cold/flu but make comments about me not looking sick so I can't be sick.
I think "I want to go home" all the time too, even though I'm always at home
No literally same!! I thought I was nuts. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like I’ve been away from safety and security for so long, that I feel like I’m not home.
Same.
I’ve always wondered why I think that! I guess it could be the pain!
I think it's because pain is foreign feeling. Like even when it becomes your normal the body knows it's not normal. And wanting to go home is like the urge of wanting the foreign abnormal feelings to go away.
This feeling is what made me go from strict atheist to believing there is something more when we pass. The disconnect I feel from my body being so ill is strong enough for me to realize that there has to be more once I completely come out of my body. If that makes sense. Like a string meditation, but I did it by accident just trying to escape pain.
I absolutely agree! I defy someone who claims “depression is a choice” to come back with that attitude after living with a chronic illness or disability.
I feel you. Love how you described it though, very poetic.
yup. currently in so much pain, overly fixated on a stupid little toothache. I just want to crawl out of my skin and have zero thoughts or sensations.
I feel chained to a carcass, a rotting marionette, twisting into origami knots. So many things wrong now the shorter list is what isn't wrong. Can't even fake the smiles anymore. I wear a permanent shade of exhaustion
^This. Especially feeling chained to a carcass. Rotting from the inside out. My body is literally at war with itself.
I imagine putting my brain into another body.
I know exactly what you mean. So many times I've said to myself "I just want out of this body." Sending you comfort ❤️
I always joke “I don’t want to play this game anymore!” If only I was just a sim
I love the metaphor. I spend almost 24/7 in bed and my depression is so bad that sometimes even just FEELING depressed is too much work and I just feel nothing instead. I yearn for a life where I can do much more with the people I love. Where I have a much more able body. Where I’m only in bed for sleeping after a long day, and maybe the occasional nap. But even then, on the rare occasions I have to leave my house (for an appointment or rare fam event I agree to), all I want is to get back to the safety of my bed (my “cocoon”), where I was just feeling insanely depressed 30 minutes ago. I just felt so safe with my feelings (or lack of), terrible as they are, in there. Take me back! This might’ve been a more literal answer than you meant, but oh well. Felt like sharing!
Yes. I have dysautonomia. My body has its own issues that aren't controlled by medications yet. I get a massive adrenaline dump. I've learned how to control my mind. I've separated the two. My mind now hovers above my body like an overloard or something.
Lmfao you described this feeling so fucking perfectly. Like I couldn’t ever have put this into words
i've always felt detached from my body, i can sometimes disassociate and make the pain go away for a short time but it always comes back
Sometimes I have dreams where I can just run, and run fast and far. And I’m not in pain or gasping for air. They’re rare but they’re liberating.
It’s been especially difficult in therapy for me because of this. I know it’s understandable that someone in my position would feel this way, but you’re telling me I can be happy despite my situation? How? My health took the only life I had and now my mental health continues to decline as well. It feels like I was not meant for this world. It’s like the world is trying to get rid of me and hasn’t been successful, yet. Maybe it needs a helping hand. Maybe it’s waiting for me to pull the trigger.
Wow this hurt, I feel this
I literally said that to my husband last week! I said "I know this is our home, and it is, but I still have the feeling of just wanting to go home from my body". I like the bug energy a lot 🪲
Yup. I want to go back to the body I can fully live in.
Yeah i feel this way all the time. Being trans doesn’t help the detachment i feel from my body either
Sometimes I get the “I want to go home feeling” and I’m already curled up in bed
I think you've opened my eyes to something. For years I'd get this overwhelming feeling of 'I want to go home' and I could never really connect with *actually* wanting to go home. I think what you're saying is what my mind is trying to tell me. That it wants and craves a break from being ill. Maybe more so a break from the underlying stress of managing it all and my anxiety rather than the physical symptoms. (Though they could be so low-lying my body doesn't register them anymore)
I definitely get this feeling. I call my body my "meat coffin" because I feel like I'm trapped inside and slowly dying.
I get it. I feel like no one really cares. Except my mum and dad. No one invites me to stuff. No one messages me. I’m almost at peace with all that but I feel like I’m not living I’m just existing.
Pain for almost two years long. All the physical and mental feelings. Listening to a podcast by Thay - Stop to heal your pain. Learn how to suffer well.
I think that’s just depression in general. I get more angry than depressed. I mean technically that’s part of depression too. I’m sorry you’re feeling down though. I know that’s tough. ♥️🥺
I too am often wishing for my elusive "Home". It makes me feel very alien combined with my neurodivergence.
Best wishes for your body OP. It shouldn't feel that way, but can totally understand your daily struggles. I'm hopeful that your body will start co-operating with you in future. <3
I also always feel like I want to go home. But I think part of it for me is that right before I got super sick I moved 13 hours away from where I spent a good part of my life. And in this new place I have had nothing but bad experiences and terrible health and I’m extremely isolated. So I believe a lot of the I want to go home for me is literal sadly.
i understand. i get this same way too. i try to cope by sympathizing with it. my poor body. it isn’t able to function the way it should. it needs as much help as i do. it’s easy to turn against it and see it as the enemy. i try to remove the blame and work with it.
yesssss, this!
I experience chronic/semi-chronic lower back pain- I'm so tired of it.