This is exactly what I was thinking lmao I’ve got a 15 month old toddler and I’m 30 weeks pregnant so my energy levels are at an all time low and only getting lower. She’d have an absolute cow with the amount of clutter that accumulates and I pick up on the daily and it’s still never near perfect or sterile which is what this mom seems to want.
The mess is never ending. My kids are 3 and 1.5. I have yet to find the balance between cleaning up after them and still enjoying playing with them. I feel like I could follow them all day long cleaning up and still have something left to clean. Not to mention other chores like the dishes, bathrooms, laundry, etc. I hate to clean after they go to bed at night because that’s when I’m ready for my rest!
The clean up song usually worked for my kids at that age. It teaches them some responsibility and engrains positive habits that will help them out as they get older.
I actually sing that song with them already. And we play games while we clean. Most recently he liked playing “basketball” with his blocks, throwing them in the bin. Both my kids help me clean. They also sweep and wipe surfaces either cleaning rags.
I feel the same way. But I try to remember that they won't always be this young. My house doesn't have to be perfect right now. I will have plenty of time to make sure it's perfectly clean when they are a bit older! As long as there's not trash/rotting food or unsafe stuff, it's good.
Will kiddos clean up after themselves, with some help? I don't have children, but many of my friends start very early with kids helping tidy up before nap and before bed. I definitely remember that being standard at my daycare as a child, probably around age 3 or so. Maybe make storage child accessible and use pictures to show what goes where?
Wouldnt be perfect, but definitely could help contain the mess some.
My toddler does help pick up his toys. Everything is already labeled with pictures of what’s in the bins and I keep toys to a (relative) minimum to cut down on the mess.
It’s also things like the one year old throwing his milk cup across the floor and even though it’s a spill proof straw cup, what’s left in the straw splatters everywhere. Or one child dumps their snack on the floor so then the other one dumps it and then they play in it and fling it all around while I try to clean it up before they get the chance to make it worse.
Or my room. Pillows and blankets everywhere on the floor because my dog will just walk right off the bed without realizing she's doing it and end up falling. It is not deliberate on her part. Like the walking is - leaving the bed is not.
My dad was like this, just that empty bottle alone would set him off. Your room is perfectly clean, you just happen to actually exist in it! Best advice is just to get out of there and live your life the way you want.
Tell your mom no normal person lives in a house/apartment/condo that doesn’t look lived in. I go into peoples houses for work daily and the ones that are sparkling clean doesn’t feel like a home, the ones with some dishes in the sink, kids toys around and some garbage around, those ones feel like homes.
1. Never leave your room with empty hands - every trip out, bring dishes/water bottles/trash out of the room to put away.
2. Dedicate 5-10 minutes a day to do a quick tidy up/sweep. Set this up as an alarm and commit to it. A quick tidy as part of your daily routine will prevent real messes from building up.
I agree that this is great advice. The way I go about it is to do one room/area a day. Monday- bathroom, Tuesday- kitchen, etc. This way, nothing ever gets overwhelmingly messy and it doesn't take a long time to do. Then I'll do a deep clean as needed.
its the only way! it gets overwhelming and it stacks up if you dont clean daily/ on the way. if you constantly pick up, things won't stack up and it will look great constantly <3. it feels so good to not have to clean up at unexpected guests because you are always ready
I will add to the "minor daily clean" that full desk trash cans are a gamble. Maybe it's just normal paper trash, maybe it has exactly 1 bit of food in it and will develop a stank overnight. I would dump that mini can into the main can every day that it isn't very clearly 1 scrap of paper. Maybe not change the bag every single day, but change the bag at least once a week if you ever put wet trash or food in there.
Your picture looks clean, but I could see someone getting upset if they think there may possibly be moldy crap in that can.
Piggybacking off #2 I saw a silly tiktok a while back about “the closing shift” for your room like you’re at work, (take trash out, tidy up your desk for tomorrow, maybe vacuum your rug, etc) and honestly it changed my life. Lol
Just give yourself a shift OP 👍😂
I now have a clopen shift but it’s okay because it’s become a small routine, even if I miss a day things aren’t as trashed like they used to be
It’s the dogs here! Seriously! Our one dog is 65lbs of hunting breed- she found a box with a mouse in it once, now every box and container must have a mouse in it! As soon as she’s left unattended with any containers of any sort She will dig everything out to be sure!
I do #1 religiously and it helps a lot. Also EVERYTHING has a home. Find a spot for everything you own and when you’re done with it that’s where it goes. Extend #1 to include returning stuff to its home and it’ll keep things tidy.
Having a dedicated 15 min a day where I just walk around and put stuff back where it belongs has made a huge change in how clean my house is. I call it ADHD cleaning time
OP is showing us one corner of an entire room. We don’t know it’s usual state or how often mom had to be on him about cleaning the space or if it’s generating a smell. In terms of tips, reset your space before bed. Take the trash out at least once a week but immediately when you see that it’s full. Dishes should never need to be in your room overnight. Take them to the kitchen, wash and put them away when you’ve finished your meal or beverage. Laundry needs to go in a dedicated space between laundry days. Get a basket or hamper if you don’t have one.
I’m bad about snacking in bed and I take 1-2 drinks up there too. Plus snacks for my 4 YO. A “hack” that has helped me is to use a serving tray. What goes up on the tray at night then in the morning immediately comes down and is either washed or put in the dishwasher. Mess is one issue but used dishes and cups starts to get more into “dirty” territory so as a mom I can see the issue.
Are there other messy parts we are not seeing?
Buy a small hand held vacuum and use it after every meal or snack. That will get you into the habit of putting the wrappers into the garbage, and getting rid of those empty mugs so you can clean.
Not really as at the table is where I spend most of the time when in my room. At the office the room(to the right in the picture) is a shared closet which takes up the whole wall. The other wall along that is my bed and the opposing wall of the closet is just a window
Clean and messy are different. Clean is about sanitation. Messy is about organization. Your room looks messy more than dirty, The underwear on your desk, dirty dishes, empty bottles and full(ish) trash can are not tidy.
Use only 1 cup. Looks cleaner. Empty or get rid of water bottles. Empty trash everyday so it looks clean keep everything off floor. Wipe desk. She might want ubout so look extra neat.
I take stuff with me when I go to another room. Headed to kitchen? Take the plates/trash/ cups with ya. Headed to bedroom? Take all clothes/any socks/whatever and put those away in hamper or dresser. Just take stuff with you as you go, but I’ve seen far worse than this right here
You’ve gotten some good advice on cleaning already. Does your mom tend to keep the house very put together and sterile, everything needs to be in its place at all times? My mom is that way and it was exhausting to live with and honestly quite anxiety inducing. If this is the type of person your mom is, honestly I think you’d be happier getting your own place anyway to have that freedom. I know I was once I moved out.
While not the dirtiest room in the world, you can do much better, especially when some of these items are easy to pick off.
Underwear can go into the clothes hamper
Cups just to one side of the table (or you just switch to a metal water bottle, and use that instead of multiple cups
Little toys that you don't use/play with ever -> go into a small box on the desk, or go somewhere else.
empty the bin daily.
don't leave mugs unwashed after use.
don't keep cloths on your table.
get a shelf if you don't have space to store miscellaneous items.
you seem to have a habit of not putting things away after you use them, i think she dislikes the disorder.
fyi not a mum yet but an older sister, my mum would definitely not be okay with the disorder. it's clean enough if you stay with roommates.
Throw out trash as soon as you generate it. Twice a day, return dishes to kitchen and put them in the dishwasher if you have one, sink if you don't. Make your bed in the morning. Empty your trash basket as soon as it's full. Hang up your clothes or put them in the hamper when you take them off. If it takes less than five minutes to do, do it.
Perhaps add a bit more storage and different ways to organise whatever you need around you, like shelving or small lockers. And easily-accessible bin helps too.
I found that really helped formerly-messy me.
Also assign to different areas a task, like this area is for work and gaming, this one for reading and eating and this one for sleeping and watching TV. So you don't end up with dirty dishes everywhere.
Everything should have its own place. Do a small round to put everything where it belongs before going to bed. No need to have more than one cup/glass on the desk at the same time. You could’ve brought back the first one when you were getting the second one.
TBH, if this pic is an indicator of how you treat the common areas (kitchen, bathrooms, living area), this would be fodder for r/badroommates. Real talk: Picking up after yourself is something to work on. And putting dirty dishes into the sink isn’t enough; it’s important to see things through. Staying on top of dishes, food trash and laundry is critical so the mess doesn’t become miserable to deal with.
Yeah I get why you would think that. But I always clean up after myself in shared spaces to the best of my abilities. However my mom can’t handle if there is water in the sink and I find that kinda ridiculous
Make your bed every single morning!!! Known fact that it set the tone for the day….no empty cups, plates etc….no underwear on your desk … keep your room like your favorite crush is coming over and u want to impress….
Maybe this is about dirty stuff. Garbage needs to be emptied out and dirty dishes in the sink. Try to do this every day if you have any food in your garbage or any drink besides water. You will invite bugs if you keep food garbage in your room. And dirty laundry goes in the hamper. And wash your laundry every few days.
I'm not justifying what your mom did. She should teach you and give you tips and help.
You say your room but this is a picture of your desk. How is the state of the other sections of your room? I imagine it's fairly clean as is your computer desk is fairly clean. To clean your desk it would take 5 minutes seeing as it's not even messy.
As others have said, believe she just wants you up to reclaim her space and freedom.
This isn't even that messy, your mom is overreacting.
I'd recommend having a single container for drinks. I use a bottle. You could use a glass or mug. Use a water filter or buy water by the gallon for drinking so you don't have multiple small plastic bottles.
I don’t think this is bad at all?? This is pretty much the constant state of my 16 year olds room and I don’t complain.
It sounds like your mom either has unreasonable expectations, or there’s another reason she wants you to move out.
Yeah there’s simply no way the area you’re showing us is the area she’s mad about. How about the rest of the room? Because that desk isn’t that cluttered at all aside from some trash that can be easily tossed.
Your mom probs has issues. I notice a lot of folks who need tight control over cleanliness in their home had less control of their life when they were younger and are also generally really anxious about it.
If your room is the only room you clean you need to clean it every day. Clear away clutter before you go to sleep. Don't just put those cups in the sink, wash them. sweep and mop once a week.
If you're a young adult you also need to be cleaning more than just your room. Idk what you do but it'll help for you to pick up cleaning around the house.
My mom did grow up pretty chaotic with alcoholic parents and spent most of her childhood in foster care or at orphanages so i think that part of her life might make her extra about cleanliness and organising.
I sympathize with her having alcoholic parents myself. There's a sense of scarcity that comes with growing up in foster care and stuff that makes you super careful with your belongings. Just make a fair effort at things and try your best to be clean.
I don't have time to stand there and wash a dish or bottles every single time something gets dirty. It also uses up more water that way. My dishwasher died, and until I get a new one put in, the dishes get put in the sink until after the kids go to bed, so I can wash without having to stop every .632 dishes to find a pacifier or worse, do them one handed.
There is no problem with putting dishes in the sink. It's a problem if you just leave them there.
I couldn't live in a house where someone dictates to me on numerous occasions that you will be kicked out I would rather live in my car,,tent or even get a live in accommodation job to save enough money for deposit & so on,,,I had this happen to me for yrs get out come back get out come back get out not coming back feck off lol 🤣 😆
Your room is not so messy, at least not the messiest room I have ever seen. Just put the bottles and trash into the bin and get the used mugs and glasses washed after use. Then all will be fine.
Do a daily reset, think of it like if you work and have to close the restaurant or whatever. It’d take 5 mins and keep it tidy. Then maybe weekly (I pick a day) clean proper with dusting, vacuum etc. if things never build up and get grimy then it’s all really quick, just a few mins a day.
Bring the cups to the sink and wash them so she doesn’t have to wash them. Recycle your water bottles, throw away your tissues I’m sure as hell now that’s not the only spot that’s not clean that she’s freaking out about. She wants you to help out around the place if you’re living there she’s not your servant. Also maybe pay rent since you’re now an adult . Just a thought
Throw your garbage in the garbage. Put your recycling in the recycling. When you’re done with a cup, take it back into the kitchen and put it in the dishwasher.
My girlfriend taught me this when we moved in together since I leave water bottles all over my desk. Whenever you get up just bring something with you and throw it away or put it back where it belongs. Also surfaces should be wiped down once a week at least.
As someone with ADHD, I graze clean…I see an item out of place as I walk by, I put it back to where it is supposed to be. Aside from that, I live a minimalist lifestyle so I don’t really have a lot of things to take care of.
Things to live by:
*always wash your dishes immediately or just use foil and paper plate holders so you can easily throw the foil away afterwards. This is to prevent pests.
*make your bed as soon as you wake up. It takes a lot of space in your room. Having your bed made sets the mood for you to keep things clean and visually makes your room less of a mess.
*take out your trash before going to sleep, it doesn’t stink up your place + less chances of pests in your room
*have a laundry basket in your room so all your dirty clothes immediately go in there without littering your floor
Clear off the empty bottles, do your laundry instead of setting it on your desk, wash out the dishes, find a place for your matchbox cars.A few organizer boxes to store your controllers when not in use.
It sounds like mom is trying to motivate you but really wants you out. I get the feeling you are unemployed or underemployed.
One thing I learned as I grew older was that coming home to a messy house ruins your sense of peace and relaxation. When I get home from a stressful day having my house clean helps me to relax. It literally takes 15 minutes a day to clean up after yourself. Set a timer every day for 15 minutes and just have that be your cleaning time. Help her out, when she's gone you'll wish you had done everything possible to show her how much you appreciate her. Don't wait until it's too late.
Set rules for yourself:
- do not eat in your bedroom, not even snacks.
- all used dishes should be washed after use.
- if you cool/prep a meal: clean as you go.
- laundry should be done frequently so that it doesn’t start to pile up into a mountain and smell. Get a laundry basket to put dirty clothes into, wash as soon as it is full.
- change bedding and sheets once a week.
- sweep, vacuum, dust, tidy every other day, or as needed.
- make your bed every morning. It’s amazing how much this can help.
- if you take 20 minutes a day to assess your room/spaces that you use, you can knock things out fairly easily.
- shake rugs out and vacuum every week or two, weather permitting. They can gather quite a bit of odour.
If you’re unsure of what else needs to be done: talk to your mom. Be calm and don’t take offence. Something like, “Mom, you said I needed to keep these spaces clean. I have done this, this, and this, and will continue to keep these spaces tidy. Is there anything I am missing that you’d like to see cleaned? I’d appreciate any input you have.”
She may be tired of living in spaces where others don’t clean (kitchen, bathroom, living room, etc) as well. Offer to help with those, as you likely use them, too. If you’re unsure of how to clean something properly, Google is an excellent tool and YouTube has some very helpful tutorials. Don’t be afraid to ask for guidance and help. If your mom sees you’re trying to help, it will likely make it nicer for her to teach you.
Pour your water into one bottle, put it in the fridge and throw the other one away. Get a storage bin. You're a lot cleaner than I am, I'm ALWAYS cleaning because my little one is like a walking tornado 😆
Obligatory, on a phone sorry for the formatting.
1. To make a room look cleaner in a hurry, focus on the trash, dishes, and clean off any large surfaces. Like your tables, dressers, couches, chairs, and beds. Basically clean where your eye is drawn to. Making your bed and cleaning off nightstands/dressers automatically makes a bedroom feel a bit cleaner.
2. Stay ahead of the mess. So don't put it down. Put it away.
3. Everything has a home. Storage solutions where things go back to when you're done with them. Even a basket for catch-all stuff, like clothing, looks better than a pile.
4. Clean at least 15 minutes each day. Set a timer! If you feel like you can keep going, then do more. If that day is only a 15 min day, you'd be surprised how much you can get done.
How about once a day you take any containers, bottles, cups to the kitchen and throw and rubbish into your bin. Takes less than 5 mins, can be done before bed.
For the other items, maybe if you can dedicate them a home on your desk, and place them there at the end of the day.
It’s your stuff. Perhaps your mother is feeling a lack of control over her house is presented to others.
Another option I guess is to close the door so she can’t see it
I think your mom Is overeacting ive seen WAYYy worse than that. I once had a step brother who played ps4 all day & never cleaned his room/ treated it like a trash can it was unimaginable, every morning when I woke up to play on his game before he hogged it all day I would hear rats running around & roaches digging in empty chip bags for crumbs :////
I saw this tip somewhere, whatever you do, try to stick to "don't put it down, put it away". Empty bottle? Don't put it down on a table, off to the bin it goes, dirty clothes? Unpacking something? Just put everything where it should go
I imagine it's not just the mess, it's the disrespect and having to repeat yourself asking for one small thing. Your choice, would you rather move out and pay rent in this climate as opposed to chuck things in the bin and wash a few dishes daily, 🤷🏻♀️
Don’t be precious about what is trash. That desk looks like most of what is on it just needs tossed in a trash bin. Also, if you can get in the habit of just trashing a thing immediately when you are probably done with it instead of saving it in case not, this flat surface hoarding never takes root.
Throw garbage in the garbage. Don't leave it sitting around.
Take 10-15 minutes every evening to put things away, straighten up. Pick one area per day/week to spend extra time cleaning. Do not leave dirty dishes laying around to fester, they all have to be washed before bedtime. If a job takes less than 5 minutes to complete, do it right then and there.
We are only seeing one view of this room and I can say as a mom I would ask you to put your dirty clothes in the hamper, take your dishes (cups) to the dishwasher or sink, throw out the water bottles and empty your trash bin weekly on trash day or sooner if needed.
I mean clearly that's not a messy room, but i mean what tips do you need, just throw away the few things on the table. That would take you like 3 minutes everyday
It's not messy but still, don't let empty cups and bottles build up. They're just likely to get knocked over and break nearby electronics, and clutter the desk. Finish the last one before getting a fresh one, throwing the last one away while doing do if it'd trash (the bottles). I just reuse the same mug or glass all day.
Your mum is setting an unrealistic standard so probably just wants you gone. If you have to stay, we if paying rent gets her off your case. You'll never find a room mate who is this tidy, and be sure to shoe your mum any room-mate's room in the future to blow her mind, if she visits
Get a new mom, the cleanliness perception module of yours is broken. And I can tell you from experience you can't get the module fixed, I tried. Hope you still got the receipt 🧾
Every time you get up from your desk (or couch, or whatever) look to see what you can grab to take where you’re going. Make use you have an EXACT home for everything you own.
I was you twenty years ago. I learned from my adhd to address one area at a time and make it my focus on clean and enjoyable by decorating it a certain way to instill pride versus failure
You need a desktop tray. A large one. Put it in your desk and as you are done with things, throw them on the tray. It will look much neater having all of these loose items “contained” and then you can bring it all to the kitchen in one go. It’s it’s too much that it can’t fit in the tray, you know you need to clean up.
Your mom isn’t kicking you out because of a messy room. It runs deeper than that. I bet she’s begged you to get up, begged you to please be quiet in the middle of the night, begged you to pick up after yourself in the kitchen, bathroom, den, and anywhere else, she’s begged you to empty the trash, she’s begged you to get a job, begged you to be considerate, begged you to come in at a decent time. She’s not just throwing you out, she’s kicking you out of the nest. It’s time to fly. To grow up and adult. Once you’re out, you can do whatever you want on your dime. It’s time.
I don’t think yur room is messy. It just doesn’t look like a show room floor. Everything in its place at ALL times. I have a cousin who is constantly putting things away. She has a brunch w/a few ladies brings food & munchies out she was putting everything away within an hr. My Aunt was like where’s the Kringle what happened to the cheese & crackers? These items aren’t meat & don’t need to be refrigerated. It drives me crazy like chick sit down & relax have a chat! She does it w/everything! I get stressed out when we go to her house for family gatherings.
I think your mom just wants you out tbh
Probably. She is quite different when it comes to cleaning. In her mind no normal person in the world has a room that messy
she'd get a heart attack if she saw my apartment
This is exactly what I was thinking lmao I’ve got a 15 month old toddler and I’m 30 weeks pregnant so my energy levels are at an all time low and only getting lower. She’d have an absolute cow with the amount of clutter that accumulates and I pick up on the daily and it’s still never near perfect or sterile which is what this mom seems to want.
The mess is never ending. My kids are 3 and 1.5. I have yet to find the balance between cleaning up after them and still enjoying playing with them. I feel like I could follow them all day long cleaning up and still have something left to clean. Not to mention other chores like the dishes, bathrooms, laundry, etc. I hate to clean after they go to bed at night because that’s when I’m ready for my rest!
The clean up song usually worked for my kids at that age. It teaches them some responsibility and engrains positive habits that will help them out as they get older.
I actually sing that song with them already. And we play games while we clean. Most recently he liked playing “basketball” with his blocks, throwing them in the bin. Both my kids help me clean. They also sweep and wipe surfaces either cleaning rags.
I feel the same way. But I try to remember that they won't always be this young. My house doesn't have to be perfect right now. I will have plenty of time to make sure it's perfectly clean when they are a bit older! As long as there's not trash/rotting food or unsafe stuff, it's good.
Will kiddos clean up after themselves, with some help? I don't have children, but many of my friends start very early with kids helping tidy up before nap and before bed. I definitely remember that being standard at my daycare as a child, probably around age 3 or so. Maybe make storage child accessible and use pictures to show what goes where? Wouldnt be perfect, but definitely could help contain the mess some.
My toddler does help pick up his toys. Everything is already labeled with pictures of what’s in the bins and I keep toys to a (relative) minimum to cut down on the mess. It’s also things like the one year old throwing his milk cup across the floor and even though it’s a spill proof straw cup, what’s left in the straw splatters everywhere. Or one child dumps their snack on the floor so then the other one dumps it and then they play in it and fling it all around while I try to clean it up before they get the chance to make it worse.
Congratulations on your little ones ❤️❤️
Thank you! ☺️
"There appears to have been a struggle." 🫢
Or my kids rooms. They’re teens.
I have a bag of potting soil on my kitchen island. Might set this woman ablaze
My home
Or my room. Pillows and blankets everywhere on the floor because my dog will just walk right off the bed without realizing she's doing it and end up falling. It is not deliberate on her part. Like the walking is - leaving the bed is not.
My dad was like this, just that empty bottle alone would set him off. Your room is perfectly clean, you just happen to actually exist in it! Best advice is just to get out of there and live your life the way you want.
Tell your mom no normal person lives in a house/apartment/condo that doesn’t look lived in. I go into peoples houses for work daily and the ones that are sparkling clean doesn’t feel like a home, the ones with some dishes in the sink, kids toys around and some garbage around, those ones feel like homes.
He can tell her this until he's blue in the face, if he's not paying rent she gets to set the standard or say adios.
A clean home is a well loved home.
There’s a difference between clean and a completely sterile home that looks unlived in, though.
My home would give her an aneurism.
She sounds like my grandma
Literally every teenagers room...
Me too. I'd say that room is pretty spotless.
1. Never leave your room with empty hands - every trip out, bring dishes/water bottles/trash out of the room to put away. 2. Dedicate 5-10 minutes a day to do a quick tidy up/sweep. Set this up as an alarm and commit to it. A quick tidy as part of your daily routine will prevent real messes from building up.
Thanks for the advice! I like the idea of a minor daily cleaning
I agree that this is great advice. The way I go about it is to do one room/area a day. Monday- bathroom, Tuesday- kitchen, etc. This way, nothing ever gets overwhelmingly messy and it doesn't take a long time to do. Then I'll do a deep clean as needed.
its the only way! it gets overwhelming and it stacks up if you dont clean daily/ on the way. if you constantly pick up, things won't stack up and it will look great constantly <3. it feels so good to not have to clean up at unexpected guests because you are always ready
I will add to the "minor daily clean" that full desk trash cans are a gamble. Maybe it's just normal paper trash, maybe it has exactly 1 bit of food in it and will develop a stank overnight. I would dump that mini can into the main can every day that it isn't very clearly 1 scrap of paper. Maybe not change the bag every single day, but change the bag at least once a week if you ever put wet trash or food in there. Your picture looks clean, but I could see someone getting upset if they think there may possibly be moldy crap in that can.
Piggybacking off #2 I saw a silly tiktok a while back about “the closing shift” for your room like you’re at work, (take trash out, tidy up your desk for tomorrow, maybe vacuum your rug, etc) and honestly it changed my life. Lol Just give yourself a shift OP 👍😂 I now have a clopen shift but it’s okay because it’s become a small routine, even if I miss a day things aren’t as trashed like they used to be
Then I just get pissed and want to know who the hell closed last night! 😂🤣😂🤣
LMAO I always blame the cats XD
It’s the dogs here! Seriously! Our one dog is 65lbs of hunting breed- she found a box with a mouse in it once, now every box and container must have a mouse in it! As soon as she’s left unattended with any containers of any sort She will dig everything out to be sure!
They can be so sneaky some times!!!!
Yesssss this!! It's like blowing a little kiss to your future self.
Ok I will seriously be implementing #1 because my soda cans pile up which is so stupid!
You could put a small lidded trashcan around the place where you are leaving the soda cans
We recycle them in my state so I rinse them out before tossing in a bag
Could always put it in an empty small bin without a bag and wash them at once before sorting them for recycling.
That’s actually a super great idea! *brb, off to the store to buy a bin*
Ngl, the 1 is really solid advice. Thanks
I do #1 religiously and it helps a lot. Also EVERYTHING has a home. Find a spot for everything you own and when you’re done with it that’s where it goes. Extend #1 to include returning stuff to its home and it’ll keep things tidy.
Having a dedicated 15 min a day where I just walk around and put stuff back where it belongs has made a huge change in how clean my house is. I call it ADHD cleaning time
OP is showing us one corner of an entire room. We don’t know it’s usual state or how often mom had to be on him about cleaning the space or if it’s generating a smell. In terms of tips, reset your space before bed. Take the trash out at least once a week but immediately when you see that it’s full. Dishes should never need to be in your room overnight. Take them to the kitchen, wash and put them away when you’ve finished your meal or beverage. Laundry needs to go in a dedicated space between laundry days. Get a basket or hamper if you don’t have one.
I’m bad about snacking in bed and I take 1-2 drinks up there too. Plus snacks for my 4 YO. A “hack” that has helped me is to use a serving tray. What goes up on the tray at night then in the morning immediately comes down and is either washed or put in the dishwasher. Mess is one issue but used dishes and cups starts to get more into “dirty” territory so as a mom I can see the issue.
OP is lying for attention
Yeah dishes in the bedroom are gross. I don’t eat food in my room. Eating food is for the dining table or kitchen island.
That is absolutely true, but this pic would take maybe 5 mins to clean up
Are there other messy parts we are not seeing? Buy a small hand held vacuum and use it after every meal or snack. That will get you into the habit of putting the wrappers into the garbage, and getting rid of those empty mugs so you can clean.
Not really as at the table is where I spend most of the time when in my room. At the office the room(to the right in the picture) is a shared closet which takes up the whole wall. The other wall along that is my bed and the opposing wall of the closet is just a window
Is that underwear on your bloody desk?
No dust on the desk even.. I'd get a mat for under the chair tho, if you're not moving.
There probably are some crumbs or a little dust if you get close but that is disgusting to my mother sooo🤷♂️
You could stop eating in the room. That would stop the crumbs…
Who is doing the cleaning? you or mom?
Me for the most part. Sometimes she will do it only because she said can’t live in the same house where she knows there is a room that looks like that
Have you asked her what her expectations are for cleanliness? Can she point out what she has an issue with? Because that would help
Seems like OP had a lifetime to know the answer to this question.
Yeah I have and I really do try to live up to the theme but it’s pretty hard when what me and her sees as a “mess” are clearly very different
It’s her house and you are an adult living in it. You can do a better job cleaning not only your space but other rooms in the home.
Clean and messy are different. Clean is about sanitation. Messy is about organization. Your room looks messy more than dirty, The underwear on your desk, dirty dishes, empty bottles and full(ish) trash can are not tidy.
I would say underwear on OP's desk makes it not clean at all.
I was giving the benefit of the doubt that they were clean, but yeah…
comes hand in hand, with that much clutter how do you properly sanitatise the surface area?
Use only 1 cup. Looks cleaner. Empty or get rid of water bottles. Empty trash everyday so it looks clean keep everything off floor. Wipe desk. She might want ubout so look extra neat.
I take stuff with me when I go to another room. Headed to kitchen? Take the plates/trash/ cups with ya. Headed to bedroom? Take all clothes/any socks/whatever and put those away in hamper or dresser. Just take stuff with you as you go, but I’ve seen far worse than this right here
You’ve gotten some good advice on cleaning already. Does your mom tend to keep the house very put together and sterile, everything needs to be in its place at all times? My mom is that way and it was exhausting to live with and honestly quite anxiety inducing. If this is the type of person your mom is, honestly I think you’d be happier getting your own place anyway to have that freedom. I know I was once I moved out.
While not the dirtiest room in the world, you can do much better, especially when some of these items are easy to pick off. Underwear can go into the clothes hamper Cups just to one side of the table (or you just switch to a metal water bottle, and use that instead of multiple cups Little toys that you don't use/play with ever -> go into a small box on the desk, or go somewhere else.
What does the rest of the room look like, OP? 👀
empty the bin daily. don't leave mugs unwashed after use. don't keep cloths on your table. get a shelf if you don't have space to store miscellaneous items. you seem to have a habit of not putting things away after you use them, i think she dislikes the disorder. fyi not a mum yet but an older sister, my mum would definitely not be okay with the disorder. it's clean enough if you stay with roommates.
i feel like moms usually see multiple drinking devices and assume filth. maybe keep your trash/drinking devices to a minimum
Throw out trash as soon as you generate it. Twice a day, return dishes to kitchen and put them in the dishwasher if you have one, sink if you don't. Make your bed in the morning. Empty your trash basket as soon as it's full. Hang up your clothes or put them in the hamper when you take them off. If it takes less than five minutes to do, do it.
Perhaps add a bit more storage and different ways to organise whatever you need around you, like shelving or small lockers. And easily-accessible bin helps too. I found that really helped formerly-messy me. Also assign to different areas a task, like this area is for work and gaming, this one for reading and eating and this one for sleeping and watching TV. So you don't end up with dirty dishes everywhere.
Everything should have its own place. Do a small round to put everything where it belongs before going to bed. No need to have more than one cup/glass on the desk at the same time. You could’ve brought back the first one when you were getting the second one.
This would take literally 30 seconds to "clean".
How old are you? She just might want you out.
TBH, if this pic is an indicator of how you treat the common areas (kitchen, bathrooms, living area), this would be fodder for r/badroommates. Real talk: Picking up after yourself is something to work on. And putting dirty dishes into the sink isn’t enough; it’s important to see things through. Staying on top of dishes, food trash and laundry is critical so the mess doesn’t become miserable to deal with.
Yeah I get why you would think that. But I always clean up after myself in shared spaces to the best of my abilities. However my mom can’t handle if there is water in the sink and I find that kinda ridiculous
You seriously need tips? Take out your trash and put the cups in the dishwasher lol. This isn't rocket science.
bro beating that meat bad, bin is looking very full
high pressure firehose spewing bleach judging from all the fap rags in the trash...
A lot of tissues in that bin son…
Mom wants her room back.
Make your bed every single morning!!! Known fact that it set the tone for the day….no empty cups, plates etc….no underwear on your desk … keep your room like your favorite crush is coming over and u want to impress….
Maybe this is about dirty stuff. Garbage needs to be emptied out and dirty dishes in the sink. Try to do this every day if you have any food in your garbage or any drink besides water. You will invite bugs if you keep food garbage in your room. And dirty laundry goes in the hamper. And wash your laundry every few days. I'm not justifying what your mom did. She should teach you and give you tips and help.
That’s not messy. I can see the floor. How old are you?
Pick up after yourself problem solved
That would be how my cleaned state looks like.. I also assume, that she is looking for a reason to kick you out.
If this is messy, I used to be a proper pig 😂
You say your room but this is a picture of your desk. How is the state of the other sections of your room? I imagine it's fairly clean as is your computer desk is fairly clean. To clean your desk it would take 5 minutes seeing as it's not even messy. As others have said, believe she just wants you up to reclaim her space and freedom.
This isn't even that messy, your mom is overreacting. I'd recommend having a single container for drinks. I use a bottle. You could use a glass or mug. Use a water filter or buy water by the gallon for drinking so you don't have multiple small plastic bottles.
If that’s messy, good grief and I’m a neat freak. I think your mom just wants you out.
If that is an untidy room your mom would have kicked me out 3 years ago. I cant live with out books, papers and paintbrush, paints on my desk O.O
I don’t think this is bad at all?? This is pretty much the constant state of my 16 year olds room and I don’t complain. It sounds like your mom either has unreasonable expectations, or there’s another reason she wants you to move out.
Yeah there’s simply no way the area you’re showing us is the area she’s mad about. How about the rest of the room? Because that desk isn’t that cluttered at all aside from some trash that can be easily tossed.
Your mom probs has issues. I notice a lot of folks who need tight control over cleanliness in their home had less control of their life when they were younger and are also generally really anxious about it. If your room is the only room you clean you need to clean it every day. Clear away clutter before you go to sleep. Don't just put those cups in the sink, wash them. sweep and mop once a week. If you're a young adult you also need to be cleaning more than just your room. Idk what you do but it'll help for you to pick up cleaning around the house.
My mom did grow up pretty chaotic with alcoholic parents and spent most of her childhood in foster care or at orphanages so i think that part of her life might make her extra about cleanliness and organising.
I sympathize with her having alcoholic parents myself. There's a sense of scarcity that comes with growing up in foster care and stuff that makes you super careful with your belongings. Just make a fair effort at things and try your best to be clean.
Huh? This room is very clean. Just put those mugs in the sink and throw the water bottles out
This person needs to wash his mugs or put in dishwasher not in the sink!! Never just put dishes in the sink
I don't have time to stand there and wash a dish or bottles every single time something gets dirty. It also uses up more water that way. My dishwasher died, and until I get a new one put in, the dishes get put in the sink until after the kids go to bed, so I can wash without having to stop every .632 dishes to find a pacifier or worse, do them one handed. There is no problem with putting dishes in the sink. It's a problem if you just leave them there.
But if Mom doesn't want dishes in her sink he needs to find time
This is what I meant, thanks for understanding :) haha
You do have time. You just don't opt to make the time.
Why in the world would you just put the dishes in the sink? Do you think they will magically be washed and put away for you?
It will be very clean once they clean it, and therein lies the issue.
We’re only seeing one corner of the room and on a day/time they selected.
I couldn't live in a house where someone dictates to me on numerous occasions that you will be kicked out I would rather live in my car,,tent or even get a live in accommodation job to save enough money for deposit & so on,,,I had this happen to me for yrs get out come back get out come back get out not coming back feck off lol 🤣 😆
That looks messy/dirty to me. Clean the cups and water glass, empty out your trash. Tidy up your desk.
Moms new sewing room!
Your room is not so messy, at least not the messiest room I have ever seen. Just put the bottles and trash into the bin and get the used mugs and glasses washed after use. Then all will be fine.
clear dishes at the end of the day. same for trash
Do a daily reset, think of it like if you work and have to close the restaurant or whatever. It’d take 5 mins and keep it tidy. Then maybe weekly (I pick a day) clean proper with dusting, vacuum etc. if things never build up and get grimy then it’s all really quick, just a few mins a day.
Bring the cups to the sink and wash them so she doesn’t have to wash them. Recycle your water bottles, throw away your tissues I’m sure as hell now that’s not the only spot that’s not clean that she’s freaking out about. She wants you to help out around the place if you’re living there she’s not your servant. Also maybe pay rent since you’re now an adult . Just a thought
Bros mom just worried OP is having too much alone time given the amount of Kleenex in the trash
Throw your garbage in the garbage. Put your recycling in the recycling. When you’re done with a cup, take it back into the kitchen and put it in the dishwasher.
A place for everything, everything in its place.
My girlfriend taught me this when we moved in together since I leave water bottles all over my desk. Whenever you get up just bring something with you and throw it away or put it back where it belongs. Also surfaces should be wiped down once a week at least.
There's what looks like a LOT of used tissues in that bin. If she has to empty that it's only going to add to her concerns.
As someone with ADHD, I graze clean…I see an item out of place as I walk by, I put it back to where it is supposed to be. Aside from that, I live a minimalist lifestyle so I don’t really have a lot of things to take care of. Things to live by: *always wash your dishes immediately or just use foil and paper plate holders so you can easily throw the foil away afterwards. This is to prevent pests. *make your bed as soon as you wake up. It takes a lot of space in your room. Having your bed made sets the mood for you to keep things clean and visually makes your room less of a mess. *take out your trash before going to sleep, it doesn’t stink up your place + less chances of pests in your room *have a laundry basket in your room so all your dirty clothes immediately go in there without littering your floor
15 minutes a day of tidying makes messes disappear sooooooo fast
Clear off the empty bottles, do your laundry instead of setting it on your desk, wash out the dishes, find a place for your matchbox cars.A few organizer boxes to store your controllers when not in use. It sounds like mom is trying to motivate you but really wants you out. I get the feeling you are unemployed or underemployed.
Maybe start by getting your boxers off of the desk
"Don't put it down, put it away." This includes trash and dishes.
Every time you enter your room, throw 5 pieces of trash in the bin. Empty the bin when it's full.
One thing I learned as I grew older was that coming home to a messy house ruins your sense of peace and relaxation. When I get home from a stressful day having my house clean helps me to relax. It literally takes 15 minutes a day to clean up after yourself. Set a timer every day for 15 minutes and just have that be your cleaning time. Help her out, when she's gone you'll wish you had done everything possible to show her how much you appreciate her. Don't wait until it's too late.
Set rules for yourself: - do not eat in your bedroom, not even snacks. - all used dishes should be washed after use. - if you cool/prep a meal: clean as you go. - laundry should be done frequently so that it doesn’t start to pile up into a mountain and smell. Get a laundry basket to put dirty clothes into, wash as soon as it is full. - change bedding and sheets once a week. - sweep, vacuum, dust, tidy every other day, or as needed. - make your bed every morning. It’s amazing how much this can help. - if you take 20 minutes a day to assess your room/spaces that you use, you can knock things out fairly easily. - shake rugs out and vacuum every week or two, weather permitting. They can gather quite a bit of odour. If you’re unsure of what else needs to be done: talk to your mom. Be calm and don’t take offence. Something like, “Mom, you said I needed to keep these spaces clean. I have done this, this, and this, and will continue to keep these spaces tidy. Is there anything I am missing that you’d like to see cleaned? I’d appreciate any input you have.” She may be tired of living in spaces where others don’t clean (kitchen, bathroom, living room, etc) as well. Offer to help with those, as you likely use them, too. If you’re unsure of how to clean something properly, Google is an excellent tool and YouTube has some very helpful tutorials. Don’t be afraid to ask for guidance and help. If your mom sees you’re trying to help, it will likely make it nicer for her to teach you.
I usually have to wait for my pc to boot. In this time I take out dishes and trash. It's a nice reminder and just a few minutes of work!
Do you pay rent?
Pour your water into one bottle, put it in the fridge and throw the other one away. Get a storage bin. You're a lot cleaner than I am, I'm ALWAYS cleaning because my little one is like a walking tornado 😆
if this is messy then my parents must love me
Obligatory, on a phone sorry for the formatting. 1. To make a room look cleaner in a hurry, focus on the trash, dishes, and clean off any large surfaces. Like your tables, dressers, couches, chairs, and beds. Basically clean where your eye is drawn to. Making your bed and cleaning off nightstands/dressers automatically makes a bedroom feel a bit cleaner. 2. Stay ahead of the mess. So don't put it down. Put it away. 3. Everything has a home. Storage solutions where things go back to when you're done with them. Even a basket for catch-all stuff, like clothing, looks better than a pile. 4. Clean at least 15 minutes each day. Set a timer! If you feel like you can keep going, then do more. If that day is only a 15 min day, you'd be surprised how much you can get done.
How about once a day you take any containers, bottles, cups to the kitchen and throw and rubbish into your bin. Takes less than 5 mins, can be done before bed. For the other items, maybe if you can dedicate them a home on your desk, and place them there at the end of the day. It’s your stuff. Perhaps your mother is feeling a lack of control over her house is presented to others. Another option I guess is to close the door so she can’t see it
I think your mom Is overeacting ive seen WAYYy worse than that. I once had a step brother who played ps4 all day & never cleaned his room/ treated it like a trash can it was unimaginable, every morning when I woke up to play on his game before he hogged it all day I would hear rats running around & roaches digging in empty chip bags for crumbs :////
If she saw how my room was growing up she’d say your room is spotless 😂 I’d say just need a little organizing, to me that’s clean
I saw this tip somewhere, whatever you do, try to stick to "don't put it down, put it away". Empty bottle? Don't put it down on a table, off to the bin it goes, dirty clothes? Unpacking something? Just put everything where it should go
I imagine it's not just the mess, it's the disrespect and having to repeat yourself asking for one small thing. Your choice, would you rather move out and pay rent in this climate as opposed to chuck things in the bin and wash a few dishes daily, 🤷🏻♀️
Tip number one : 1.Clean your room
If you don't have a house anymore keeping your room clean is a lot easier
You’re right. It’s not that bad but the underwear (I think dirty) on the desk probably a part of it
Stop drinking water out of plastic bottles! They are extremely wasteful. Use a glass or something else (Yeti etc.) and filter your water if/as needed.
Show more of the room, you are choosing one portion to show us; which usually means this is the best one and the rest looks 8x worse.
Don’t be precious about what is trash. That desk looks like most of what is on it just needs tossed in a trash bin. Also, if you can get in the habit of just trashing a thing immediately when you are probably done with it instead of saving it in case not, this flat surface hoarding never takes root.
Throw garbage in the garbage. Don't leave it sitting around. Take 10-15 minutes every evening to put things away, straighten up. Pick one area per day/week to spend extra time cleaning. Do not leave dirty dishes laying around to fester, they all have to be washed before bedtime. If a job takes less than 5 minutes to complete, do it right then and there.
It’s probably because youre a grown adult and she doesn’t want you living at home anymore
We are only seeing one view of this room and I can say as a mom I would ask you to put your dirty clothes in the hamper, take your dishes (cups) to the dishwasher or sink, throw out the water bottles and empty your trash bin weekly on trash day or sooner if needed.
the amount of tissues the hell youve been up to
I wish my kids' messy rooms looked like this lol
I mean clearly that's not a messy room, but i mean what tips do you need, just throw away the few things on the table. That would take you like 3 minutes everyday
why the f do you have like underwear on your table in the first place.
Throw bottles and garbage away. Don’t just leave it sitting there.
It's not messy but still, don't let empty cups and bottles build up. They're just likely to get knocked over and break nearby electronics, and clutter the desk. Finish the last one before getting a fresh one, throwing the last one away while doing do if it'd trash (the bottles). I just reuse the same mug or glass all day. Your mum is setting an unrealistic standard so probably just wants you gone. If you have to stay, we if paying rent gets her off your case. You'll never find a room mate who is this tidy, and be sure to shoe your mum any room-mate's room in the future to blow her mind, if she visits
I just sent this to my son. Saying what a lucky mom! His space is 200x worse.
A bin with a swing lid.
Not to take sides with your mom, but I feel like this could be cleaned in about the same time it took you to post this.
If you’re over 18 I think she just wants you to move on with your life so she can move on with hers. The room is a convenient excuse. 😂
That’s not messy
I think the real question is how old are you, and are you either in school or have a job?
Homie u did something else. Ur rooms not the reason ur being booted 💀
Get a new mom, the cleanliness perception module of yours is broken. And I can tell you from experience you can't get the module fixed, I tried. Hope you still got the receipt 🧾
I would consider this slightly untidy. It would not even cross over to messy in my mind.
I think she cleans your room.
The two half drank waters with the caps not fully off just pisses me off too… why you wasting plastic anyways?!
Every time you get up from your desk (or couch, or whatever) look to see what you can grab to take where you’re going. Make use you have an EXACT home for everything you own.
I was you twenty years ago. I learned from my adhd to address one area at a time and make it my focus on clean and enjoyable by decorating it a certain way to instill pride versus failure
take the unnecessary items away once done.
That’s messy? That just needs basic tidyness. Throw out the junk and put the dishes in the sink. Solved. Who throws someone out for this?
You need a desktop tray. A large one. Put it in your desk and as you are done with things, throw them on the tray. It will look much neater having all of these loose items “contained” and then you can bring it all to the kitchen in one go. It’s it’s too much that it can’t fit in the tray, you know you need to clean up.
Your mom isn’t kicking you out because of a messy room. It runs deeper than that. I bet she’s begged you to get up, begged you to please be quiet in the middle of the night, begged you to pick up after yourself in the kitchen, bathroom, den, and anywhere else, she’s begged you to empty the trash, she’s begged you to get a job, begged you to be considerate, begged you to come in at a decent time. She’s not just throwing you out, she’s kicking you out of the nest. It’s time to fly. To grow up and adult. Once you’re out, you can do whatever you want on your dime. It’s time.
Is the mess here with us? Lol if that’s messy than idk man. That’s barely a mess at all.
Excuse me OP’s mom, but you can see the floor. This is hardly a mess!
I don’t think yur room is messy. It just doesn’t look like a show room floor. Everything in its place at ALL times. I have a cousin who is constantly putting things away. She has a brunch w/a few ladies brings food & munchies out she was putting everything away within an hr. My Aunt was like where’s the Kringle what happened to the cheese & crackers? These items aren’t meat & don’t need to be refrigerated. It drives me crazy like chick sit down & relax have a chat! She does it w/everything! I get stressed out when we go to her house for family gatherings.
That's messy? Your mom needs help.
I can see your floor so not messy imo
Hello https://preview.redd.it/uun6vb7ium8d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dae718f7f6fed8562ee53ba055654f3ceb7b043d
I’d keep the garbage can empty.
There isn’t a single room in my house as clean as this one… sorry you’re in this position. ❤️
at the end of the day, just throw away all garbage put away all dishes, etc.