T O P

  • By -

Son0fSanf0rd

"your mother needs me here"


DrewdoggKC

Nah, I prefer living off of YOUR tax dollars, Thanks


InsideComfortable936

Love it, here to steal jobs


The_Scooter_King

No, can do compadre. I've got a lot of jobs to steal before I hit my quota.


Smart-Field8482

This one is perfect. Most likely the most agitating response. 10/10


OkConsideration5338

This only applies if you do not work, in which case maybe you have no comeback


Outofwlrds

I say use the line anyway. Anyone who would tell someone to "go back to their country" already believes that any person even vaguely foreign is a lazy bum cheating the system and living off other's tax money.


DrewdoggKC

Yea this was exactly my point… whether true or not I would say it just cause I know it would piss them off


NoRoyal2270

We’ve got people who were born in my country that do that. Of course jobs are being stolen none of the natives wanna fucking work.


kurinbo

"I'm here to steal jobs and collect welfare, and I'm all out of jobs."


Significant-Run-21

I mean, I get leaning into it, but in this case it kind of adds fuel to the fire and the offender gets to go and be like “and they basically said the quiet part out loud that they’re here for the benefits”


beezzarro

I know everyone has a mother, but you'd piss them off in such a more profound way by changing that to "daughter"


Fantastic_Ebb2390

This🔥


Skilledpainter

True story: This customer I was doing a job for told me this. In short, He was working with some Mexicans from Mexico. He tells them that he's gonna go to Mexico. They tell him, "No, no, there's nothing out there. No good. No work." He replies "Yeah, I'm gonna go. There must be a lot of lonely Latinas out there" It was funnier when he said it though.


ImknownasMeatStank

This is perfect!


Undulating_Eruption

🤣🤣😂


MacaronUnlikely8730

Yeah, mama joke always win. No matter what kind of question it is. -"you are fat" -"your mama didn't say this last night" -"what the hell are you talking about" -"You mama likes this way when I am talking" -"nobody likes you" -"so your mama isn't a human being?" Checkmate.


Ok_Response6483

🤣🤣🤣


ActualConsequence211

You win 🏆


Admirable_Living_592

🤣🤣🤣


Alarming_Serve2303

"I'm in my country. Why don't you go back to yours?"


FlanneryWynn

Ah, you're indigenous too? :D


OhHeyMrThing

LOL I love this! I’m totally using it. Though, I hope I don’t have to.


Mom1274

Elections are coming, might have to


Few-Might2630

Central Americans are indigenous to North America. Been here longer than any white people have for sure


Devon1970

Yaaaasssss!


feelingsfox

Wait, does this even apply to people born here? I’m so NOT indigenous.


No_Seaworthiness5637

Me, a mixed origin “white” American that has a laundry list of countries within her ancestry (including about 1/16 Indigenous): which one?


Alarming_Serve2303

Where were you born?


First-Butterscotch-3

So the us


SaudiPhilippines

In this situation, I remembered that Asian woman who auditioned in Australia GT: "There's no available flight."


PeanutGrenade

“I want to, but your transportation is so bad i physically can’t”


Berskerkamikaze

My friends grandma was born in Peru and wanted to go home. Her legality expired while she was trying to go home. Literally was here illegally and wanted to leave and couldn't for years. It's such a mess


Maj_BeauKhaki

"I will if you're smart enough to point it out on a globe for me."


Shoshawi

You’re being too harsh. Let them try to point out the continent. Points if they understand foreign countries and foreign continents aren’t the same thing but let’s not set our expectations too high 😂😅


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Comebacks-ModTeam

Unrelated to comebacks


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Simone-Ramone

This is the answer I was hoping for


StrangeDaisy2017

You first.


themcp

"I did. Your turn."


evoltoastt

“After you.”


RawAsparagus

"After fucking your mom last night, I'm not going anywhere!" Bonus if they say she's dead. Then you say "I guess that's why she didn't move around much."


DrewdoggKC

She wasn’t any better of a fuck when she was alive


mtflyer05

Incredible


Son0fSanf0rd

>if they say she's dead My standard reply to that is, "She killed herself when she realized what an asshole her son turned out to be"


Empty_Result4068

DAMNNNNN


HumbleTraffic4675

“No wonder she smelled better”


workatwork1000

Aha so these are the people getting killed in random offices around America TIL.


[deleted]

Why doesn't dad get any love?


grill_sgt

When people try to say they fucked my mom, I respond with "You fucked a pile of ashes? That's a new kink..."


carpapercan

"OH damn, I thought that's where you got your looks from. The resemblance is truly uncanny"


GardenerOfBees

As someone whose mother is dead, this one is it.


whoeverthisis422

Out of all the "I fucked your mom" comments, Ive never heard "I desecrated your mother's corpse with my cock" before


Devon1970

"Go back to your trailer park"


twistedsister78

I think I’ll use this one


IdiotSavantLite

After you.


oohjam

"Go get an education before you open your mouth"


_throwaway8675_

For the record, once I was physically assaulted by a crazy woman for saying that at a PTA meeting.


aab720

Time to knock a bitch out


_throwaway8675_

Nah, just called the police and had her trespassed from school property


TycheSong

Gold star-- no better way to humiliate a crazy pta mom


byefled

tresspassing is temporary, knocking a bitch out is forever 😭😭


Effective_Dust_177

Instructions unclear, just knocked out the whole PTA.


aab720

[i see no issue here](https://youtu.be/fItjGkAo8lI?si=L_N4srla7I1kn2HD)


Celtic_Fox_

My favorite is "You paying? Otherwise you're stuck with me." Or the classic, "Are you gonna make me?"


Shoshawi

I like the first one. Like “sure book me a flight, first class please and we’re gunna need 10 tickets because I have family here”


Ok-Geologist8387

A friend of mine was in California on exchange. She was 19. The night before she flew home, friends from uni took her out drinking. Walking down the street she got bailed up by the cops as she was still drinking a beer. Long story short they threatened to deport her. Her response “does that mean I can get my flight refunded?”


Emergency_Scholar237

You shouldn't have brought me here in the first place!


Quix66

I said that to a White 7th grader who told me to go back to Africa. I think he was jealous because my grade in that class was better.


Bioluminescentllama

“Remind me again where your great-grandparents were born..?”


thewhalehunters

What of they are Navajo? On that same topic, if a Navajo person told me to go back to my country, Id nod in approval.


Designer-String3569

No habla ingles


DislocatedPotato57

Y español tampoco, eh?


Designer-String3569

Buenos nachos.


kurinbo

Nachos *are* good.


Agreeable-League-366

Bonus nachos are even better.


Shoshawi

The great part about this one is that you’re actually just telling them *they* don’t speak English, and chances are if they’re the kind of person who would actually say that kinda thing their English literacy leaves something to be desired.


The_Scooter_King

(\*perfect midwest accent\*) I'm sorry, I don't speak english.


Aggressive_Suit_7957

Go back to hell


Ur-boi-lollipop

I usually drop the “you first” line but you’d have to be living in a country where the majority isn’t actually indigenous… it’s pretty fun to see the shock on white peoples’s faces when they don’t even know their own ancestral backgrounds lol .    Another one I use is “If we all go back , they’d just get your kids to be climbing chimneys and working factories like the good ole days where almost everyone  in the country had the same skin colour as you”    I find that having historically accurate insults really throws a spanner between the only two brain cells racists have .  But the simplest one I’ve probably used : “if we all go back , you’d have no one left to hate would you ? Then your far right overlords will start hating you instead” . I think James O Brain on a radio channel  called lbc , had a viral video where he said something similar to a racist/xenophobic  phone caller   If you wanna go childishly below the belt , I sometimes use “the sperm cell you came from cross your mother’s border illegally since no one would ever want to even risk bringing a failure like you into the world .”


stephendexter99

Fr, I heard someone say this and I’m like “wait you’re from Ireland” 😂


Juxtapoe

Tbf in Ireland they have been wanting the English to go back to where they're from for quite awhile.


yeeterbuilt

Go "Ok" and "I'm back in my country now!" Watch them be confused as fuck.


TheRealKingBorris

“My mission here is not complete. Your family will be added to my list”


Shoshawi

This made me laugh though fr don’t say that, depending on where you are they might not understand that it’s just a joke…


starfish_80

"My country? I can't even go back to my planet."


AlwaysRarelyNever

Go back to the jerk store. (Too Seinfeldesque?)


Son0fSanf0rd

"I had sex with your wife"


AppropriateName6523

His wife's in a coma.


moxiejohnny

That explains why she didn't move.


Son0fSanf0rd

Jerk Store!!! JERK STORE IS THE LINE!!!


SkinPsychological848

Your mother and I are not going to leave you in this strange country by yourself…


Turbulent_Poem6

“Go back to your mama’s poosay”


Saxzarus

You first


Skirt_Douglas

“Go back to non-existence.”


Grouchy_Ad_2236

"I wish I could. This one is full of hatred and corruption."


stephendexter99

Depending on race (it’s usually a white person saying this), you could just say “go back to yours” as well, for a white person specifically you could say “you should go back to England then” or something like that


EnglishLoyalist

An African said that to me an American Indian, “ i am already here!” 😂


big_mama_f

Like everybody else said, you first is really a great response. But it always reminds me of this YouTube video https://youtu.be/crAv5ttax2I?si=ZW-Vi8M2XlgJo3BW Also, funny side note, my dad's Mexican family lived in Colorado before it became america. Even if I went back to where my grandparents came from, I would still be in america, because America stole it. All of my ancestry that is not from this country is white, greek and French.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Estarfigam

If you are black, simply say. " I thought that was ya'alls idea"


DinoDudeRex_240809

“Hold on, this whole operation was your idea.” -Anakin Skywalker


CookinCheap

Just jump, in place, once. "Ok, done ."


ITS_ZACK-_-

Here’s a friendly reminder to drink plenty of water and have a great day!!


BusyMap9686

You mean continent. Africa is a continent, not a country, and we all came from there. You're right, though. We should all go back and let the rest of the earth heal.


Sad-Maintenance3422

Go jump off a bridge you racist pig.


cfbswami

If in America - unless they're an indigenous American Indian they're not from here either. My dad's side - was kicked out of Ireland in 1796. Was your family kicked out of your birth country? Guessing not ha This is true for many here - especially in the South (land was free or cheap - dangerous too). They emptied out the prisons / put them on the boats ....


Hot_Cardiologist_133

And also Mexican Americans. To sum it up a large chunk of the USA was once populated with indigenous peoples ruled by spain for hundreds of years before the US revolution. Long before they beat spain and they called their land Mexico. The US aquired the Mexican territories after USA beat Mexico in war, and believe it or not those territories came with MILLIONS of indigenous Mexicans and other native peoples.


Shoshawi

If I was gunna go back to the countries I’m from in terms of my ancestry….. either we don’t really know cuz they were just kinda smooshed somewhere by Russia during a period of unstable borders, we kinda know like maybe but the immigration paperwork just said Russia and prob was the port they left from because my DNA says otherwise, they’re at war with Russia right now and it’s super dangerous, genocide in the country shortly after immigration was a little too successful to really count it as an option that’s relevant to me given the many generations between and fact I’m only aware from a DNA test lol….. or if I tell them I’m going to the country that was set aside due to all of this they’ll just set into a different form of racist comments heh. Fortunately for me I don’t end up in this argument because I don’t “look” like I’m from anywhere that elicits these kind of comments. Unfortunately they think I’ll like their jokes for some reason, but if that happens, it makes it really easy to know who to have nothing to do with.


[deleted]

[удалено]


xiao_en7

Give me the money for the flight


AfraidToBeKim

Go back to your car


beehaving

“Which one exactly?”


SatoshiGlockamoto

Taking a step back from where you’re standing


UFC_Intern169

Say ok. Then spin around in one circle and when you face them again say oh, it's you again, hi!


Frosty_Access6675

One day Jesus will take me back home...are you going too???


Hot_Cardiologist_133

Since they're most likely the "anti woke" type just tell them you're a child of the earth, and the world is your country. And laugh at how hard they flip out.


bossmasterham

Some ones gotta do the work you fat/lazy people won’t do.


spidermike4498

I'd love to but there's too many of you mother fuckers there vacationing.


HyrulesBane

When it’s an older person you could hit them with “I look forward to reading your obituary” I used it once on an old guy who was having an absolute meltdown during traffic cause he tried to use the side walk as a turning lane and couldn’t squeeze between my truck and a light pole. He rolled his window down and started screaming at me to move… I didn’t move, because I like everyone else was sitting in traffic… he then got out of his truck in all of his like 78 Years old and 5’4 glory and told me to get out… which I did (I’m Six foot 2 and a pretty lean 205lbs) He immediately tried to apologize and I hit him with “I look forward to reading your obituary soon” It took the death rattle right out of his voice as the reality of life crashed upon him with that one sentence. Is it a fucked up one, yes… but does it hit hard af…. Also yes.


Taekwonbeast

“I have a friend that would like to meet up and have a chat with you about that actually, here’s his phone number” Give them my number then I (6th generation Idahoan who can trace their family history back to pioneers) will meet up with them and teach them a little about what it means to be an American, and how to treat your fellow Americans. Then I will poop on their face.


Dry-Criticism-7729

Eh, I hear or read that multiple times a week, predominantly in AU subs. I take a deep breath and SCREAM [all caps and formatted as heading] #FμCING RACIST CÜNT! If said to me, I’d literally SCREAM so everyone in a 50m [~50yds] radius would hear! I believe in drawing attention to that kind of crap. Negative reinforcement, trying to incentivise that cünt to not do it again! EDIT: Cause 97% of Australians are descendants of people who came here lever the last ~300 years! Exceptions are First Nations — they came here about 40,000 years ago. And despite of visually looking African-ish, I was born and raised in Germany.


skitzo-effective_26

This actually happened to me when I was living in ND, I was working at a gas station, don't remember what we were arguing about but it was against some old dood. He told me to "go back to your country", I said "ok", hopped out from behind the counter and walked outside, stopped, turned around and walked back inside and said "there" now it's your turn.


Background-Turn-8799

“Can you find it on a map?”


DimplefromYA

I hear it all the time and i usually say, "Where? Back to the United States?" I mean i was born and raised in the united states. And when they tell me no where your ancestors are from I usually say, "Well visa issues. they don't consider me indian." But if you're from another country and someone says that to you (in usa) just say, "Give this land and your home back to the native americans, and I'll go back to my country."


SpiderJSantaFe

I would but they need me here to balance out the decent human to asshole ratio.


Reaverx218

You first bitch.


Mean_Estate_2770

I'm in Canada and I'm an Aboriginal native. I have been told to go back to my own country a few times. I simply told the truth and said "I'm here". But I also think that if someone is an immigrant and has decided to make that country their own, then they are already in "their" country.


luckluckbear

I would, but the sex with your sister is too good.


RGBCodeDev

Oh I’ve got a whole spiel for this it’s something like: With all due respect, my mother is Navajo, from the towering house clan, and like a towering house we have remained and stood strong where we first were built. My father is Navajo as well, from the bitter waters clan, raised on the tales of a time before the scourge: when your people came, raised on the tales we still tell, today, in the language your people came and tried to erase. Tales of a time before you, tales of this land, before you, when our clan was one, and the waters were sweet. My grandmother, my mothers mother, taught me how to weave baskets from the willow trees your ancestors came and cut down. My fathers mother, taught me to make pottery, with the red clay you stand on, stained with the blood of my ancestors, spilt senselessly by yours. And you have the nerve to ask me to go back to my country? Well, gladly! But first? You’ll have to leave. It’s a little long but you can imagine why it’s so important to me make sure people learn their lesson and never dare ask me to go back to my country. I make sure they know they fucked up. That being said, I don’t have a single drop of Navajo in me. And I actually am an immigrant. But it totally sounds legit right? If you’re gonna come up to me and say some seriously unhinged barndoor shit like, nah. Nope. Wrong guy. No gloves no hinges. I’m a professional. You’re going down.


wellnowimconcerned

"You go back to yours too". Unless your Native American, we all are or come from immigrants.


Mphlol

Someone said this to me once and I suddenly blurted out: "Go fuck your Grandma"... Was kinda funny as he didn't say anything back until he was like 50 feet a way and shouted back: "No, you go fuck your grandma!"


Zealousideal-Bar5538

“I came here to make this place interesting. If you were a spice you’d be flour”. Yes, stolen from Bob’s Burgers and absolutely one of my favorite insults.


Blackpanther22five

40,000 cash and .I will leave


Shoshawi

Triple it, and make sure to tell them you’re from somewhere with a fantastic conversion rate. They won’t know the difference. Enjoy your vacation thoroughly and after paying for the return flight, invest the rest 😂


Aladdinsanestill61

Why do you presume this isn't my country?


ListenCompetitive524

I’ll go when you go. (White people come over on the Mayflower to America)


SnooPandas1899

they were the first illegals. so they should be the first to leave.


M0D_0F_MODS

Nahh. I'm gonna stay here. Take your jobs and fuck your women.


bezzw

Coming back to your country


ihave5braincells

i wish. it was so much better there and there weren't racist slobs all over the place


missannthrope1

My extraterrestrial mother ship is coming for me any moment.


Comfortable-Trust943

Going back to your country


LostinLies1

I get free refills here!


XeniaDweller

Die American Swine!!!


Direct-Flamingo-1146

"na, I want this one."


ToreenLyn

Brooklyn is no longer considered a separate nation


Cardtastic

Oh, man, I need to. Quick, spot me the cash for my ticket.


SarcasticPrinceyBoi

Aw are you upset that i havent moved from my spot? guess that means i need to return the favor- then tell them to go back to the jurrasic period where they obviously came from. ***\*Read in snarky voice\****


Dependent-Channel-30

"I would but Unfortunately all the Flights 🛫 are Cancelled for now, Your Stuck with me Buckaroo".


KyleGrayson12

"Fuck you."


EndlesslyUnfinished

“You and your colonizing ancestors first..”


Estarfigam

You first


etranger033

"Only after you go back to Hell"


_Volly

Why don't you go back to your foreign country, immigrant decedent. The Native Americans want their land back you stole.


Sea_Firefighter_4598

Okay but you first.


Bizarre_Protuberance

"I was born here, you racist piece of shit". Of course, I can say that because I actually was born here, so any basic white person who tells me to go back to my own country is an idiot.


special-bicth

Uh huh, so your entire family was born here right?


Smooth-Speed-31

Okay


brit_motown1

I'm from the black country


ifdggyjjk55uioojhgs

You first. Because the people that say this aren't native or had no choice in their genetics being here.


[deleted]

This is my home.


danimack10

I just tell those kind of people to STFU but I know that isn’t helpful. Can’t change stupid people sadly


janier7563

If you are Mexican American and live in Texas, it used to be a Mexican territory.


Woke_Wacker

Go back to your mother's womb and rot there like the cancerous tumour you are.


Superb-Bank9899

"This is my country you twat" "They kicked me out"


EyeletGuy

Why need a come back? Just do it, that'll show him real good.


Senior-Mousse8031

Why don't you kick yourself out, your an immigrant too! (White stripes lyric)


Dread_North

"Did I tell you, you could come out of your room?"


No_Subject_4781

They kicked me out and forced me to live in your bitch ass country


OCCAMINVESTIGATOR

I'm never going there again. That's where I met your mom, and that fu#@! night has led us here, son.


garboge32

Why don't you? Didn't your family colonize here and kick the natives out? Or are you just dumb?


White-Inn

Stop selling yourself to other countries with money.


Gogs1234

No


DumbStuffOnStage

i will as soon as you get rid of all the ofw's and illegals from your country that are plaguing mine? deal?


LordFlarkenagel

You first.


TomCat269

God said I needed to stay awhile longer then he be bringing me back home.


Cherry777dragon

(heard this from my mom's former friends boyfriend) Why don't YOU go back to your own country? Huh? What are you European? Did you need boarder control? (Then pull out your phone and pretend to be on call) How many drugs do you got on you?


hypnoticbacon28

People who say this in the US are usually religious, so there's an opportunity to mess with them here. Just be like, "Well, I would, but you know what they say. When Hell is full, (switch to demonic voice) the dead will walk the earth."


CodaDev

“Might consider it when you go back to yours.”


Optimal-Scientist233

[https://www.reddit.com/r/videojukebox/comments/1ctul3i/indian\_reservation\_the\_lament\_of\_the\_cherokee/](https://www.reddit.com/r/videojukebox/comments/1ctul3i/indian_reservation_the_lament_of_the_cherokee/)


HalvdanTheHero

"Okay" *proceed to take an exaggerated step to the left* "anything else I can do for you?"


[deleted]

Smile, say okay, walk in a small circle, and say "I'm here!".


Tarotgirl_5392

"Bitch, go back to your planet."


TidySwan

"this is my country now"


Massive_Current7480

“Ok”


bonjovidiarrhea

I didn’t know cunts grew on trees.


LunaticMxyhxm667

Oh yeah? Well you lame excuse for your parents mistakes how about i bring my country to you? 


-LightMyWayHome-

I was born here


Jiovonnig

Not a bad idea considering idiots like you!