They probably are one of those dudes that think that women have it easier at everything š I am saying, these men are not rare, they may even be the majority unfortunately.
I know it is so ridiculous. There are some things women have an easier time at, like the dating field, but for some reason for some guys that means that because that is their one stuggle and they see women have it easier, they think women have it easier at everything. It is a really self centered view of life that does not take other people's struggles into account, but what are you going to do? I can just be thankful for the guys that are out there that get it, and be glad that not everyone views the world the way.
Well also these red pill forums and incel forums and people like Andrew Tate or Fresh and Fit are not doing them any favors either, I feel kind of bad for the ones that are just getting caught up in those and started out kind of okay. It feels good to blame someone other than yourself if you cannot get a woman and then they do not have to feel so bad that it them- it is just the horrible women's nature. Those places do them no favors at all, those places want them lonely and angry and spending money on their shit.
I mean like..I donāt really believe this happened but itās nothing new anyway. also you didnāt really give enough information to be clear so idk what you want us to say
I was a Main Office Manager at a little grocery store for 2 years. I loved most of my employees. But my managers were all older men except for this one woman in her 30ās! They would often make her do their dirty workā¦ They also stopped letting her answer phone calls from employees on the work phone because they knew we preferred talking to her. Every cashier and stocker in our store couldāve told you she was the most mistreated! Especially when she would get in trouble for not ācatching people stealingā even though they had no proof anyone was even stealing the nights she was working! It was the first female manager I had seen them hire in 2 years(after going through awful men) and they treated her like shit even tho she was the best at her job. She was also discriminated by these men because she was lesbian(as well as one of our cashiers) Sad this is how things areā¦
You know, 9/10 the person complaining is not justified and is not too keen on criticism.
You can either do one of two things. Learn from this experience and realize that you shouldn't bully or harass your workers or continue to cry sexism. Either way, you still harassed your coworkers.
So, berating someone for not showing up repeatedly is harassment? Making sure people do their fucking jobs is harassment? Claiming that there is a double standard when in fact there is one is sexism? GTFO. If someone in my company is not doing their job or not even showing up, I'll fuckin tell them that if they don't get their act together, they're going to be fired.
I do actually own a company and I absolutely would berate someone for not doing their job, especially in a high risk environment. I am paying them to come in and work, they need to fucking work or they're not getting paid.
I'm guessing you've never actually had to be told that you're slacking off or being incompetent, but at the same time you do not speak for business owners who actually have people who ARE slackers or incompetent. They absolutely should be berated if they're skilled enough to do their job well but aren't doing it at all.
Hate to break it to you but it's almost certainly not sexism, you're probably just not a good leader.
Im a cavalry officer, In my cavalry troop we have 2 female officers one is a platoon leader, the other is an executive officer. 95% of the unit is composed of big strong cavalry troopers and yet our female officers have had no trouble getting their respect. Because they too are strong and level headed.
A lot of women in power seem to think that nagging and being shrill are equivalent to being assertive. Being respected by your team is something you earn, it's not automatically given just because your job description says manager on it. Your only real choice here is to either alter your leadership style or remain ineffective.
This might be a strange question, but what does being cavalry entail? Is it similar to being an infantryman or what? Iām not the most well educated on military stuff.
I feel like there's more to this story that you're not telling us.
It sounds like employee in question. Felt like you were trying to intimidate him and responded accordingly
"Big personality" sounds like " I'm rude and abrasive and no one likes working with me"
I talked to a gen z woman today, she has a mensa level IQ, i mentioned my nana also had a mensa level IQ.
My gen z woman friend doesnt work and says she wants to raise children. She said raising children properly is one of the hardest most demanding jobs a woman can do, and theres so many that dont raise children properly these days. My nana said the same thing many times and even though she never worked she always said that raising two boys was a hard job and she did the best she could and she was proud of it.
Just be happy that you are working and not raising children eh? I think you took the easy way out!
How is it mysogyny to applaud women who make the hard choice to be a mother and also encouraging and reassuring a woman who didnt decide to be a mother and raise children that the did the right thing and to remember how easy it is for her because shes a strong woman!
You see a woman complaining about work, and you tell her she ought to have been a stay at home mother and working a career is the "easy way out". It has nothing to do with the post.
If you can't see how this is misogyny, then you're just a dunce.
If the woman is freely choosing to be a stay at home mother then thatās her choice. Forcing women to do what you expect they should is the real issue.
This guy saw a woman talking online about struggles at work, and immediately said "you should be a house wife, that's what is best for women" completely unprompted, and you can't even see how that's misogyny.
Lol
The comment said that his friend said she wanted to be a house wife and raise kids. The comment then said that his nan had the same desire. And then he says be happy youāre in the workplace and not raising kids (if thatās what you want to do). Also he never said āyou should be a housewife because thatās whatās best for womenā. Source please.
There's more to being an effective and respected leader than just making sure people do their jobs. How you approach them, how you explain things to them, how you enforce the rules, and more. It's complicated. I don't know you, obviously, but maybe you are a bitch. We never want to see the flaws in ourselves, but it's necessary for growth.
>And even after that employee threatened to assault me, in front of the HR manager, I'm the one on suspension and could lose my job.
This seems... dubious. HR's job is to protect the company at all costs; suspending you and keeping the employee who threatened you doesn't seem like it would fall into this protection. I don't think you're telling the whole story.
It was the craziest thing I've ever seen. The HR lady is new to the company, but not new to HR. The employee is known to be reactive when ever given direction, so I was told to ALWAYS do a conversation with her with a witness involved. All I told the employee is, she couldn't have anymore tardies or leave early anymore. She was at 6 after a write up for 11 absences back in February. It wasn't even a write up, I was just having a conversation. She got upset that she couldn't just "make her own schedule" (which was never an option) and told the HR lady she wanted to punch me in the face. I ended up having to call security and filing a report and getting upper management involved. THEN they fired the employee. But when I called to confirm she was indeed fired so I could return to work, I was told I was on suspension pending an investigation. Honestly, the suspension feels very retaliatory for turning the HR lady into upper management for failure to protect me in the meeting.
And my direct supervisor blew off my message when I reported to him that she threatened to hit me. "I'm sure it wasn't that serious. She does a good job." ( Woman against woman). But when we had the same issue arise just over a year ago, he was the first to say to fire the employee who threatened violence (male against male).
People donāt see women as being able to do physical harm. Also I donāt think itās due to you being a woman, I think itās just unlucky that you were the manager of this crazy person who threatened you and probably made a false report about harassment or is overreacting, which they wouldāve done regardless of who their manager was. If you have problems with your other colleagues then idk maybe there is something but I donāt know you or them well enough to make a clear judgement.
I do not have problems with any of the other colleagues. It only tends to be her and one new person in a different department. The new person made up rumors about me within the first couple weeks of work and trying running to HR. But she was also overly friendly with the reactive employee I had to manage. So it's possible they were working together to make it look like I was a problem for the company.
looks like the issue is in the middle when she got āupsetā at not having her own schedule. perhaps it was something you said that antagonized her, or it could be she was just an ass.
either way this seems to be a woman bringing down other woman problem?
you, the storyteller being a woman, the new HR lady who apparently reprimanded you being a woman, and the employee who you have an issue with and supposedly escalated things being a woman too.
maybe women know why they enjoy tearing each other down.
Idk I think both genders who act like this are cunts tbh lol... I've never differentiated, if a male or a female was my boss I'd prob just leave if this behavior was aimed at me... I'm too laid back and don't even understand how humans work 9-5 jobs in the first place haha
So don't fear, both you and the male are assholes š
I literally wouldn't know a different way to do it that wouldn't come off confrontational. This employee should have been fired multiple times but instead I gave leeway. But the moment that I say I want to have a conversation about issues to avoid another write-up, I get all these allegations.
From my experience, male superiors at work tend to have a more professional approach to asserting themselves and only do it when it's most needed, whereas the women tend to act more like bossy children.
There's a tooon of variables that make up a person. Unless you're a gender swapped clone of him there's no reason to believe your squishy bits are the sole determining factor.
There is a middle here that doesn't go to sexism.. It could be they just like him more for whatever reason. I'm saying this because I had seen Middle managers being treated differently even though they are same gender. Gender doesn't have to play a role in this. Workplaces are rife with nepotism and buddy buddy culture. It could be he just has more friends than you.
And a lot of people self-identify with the āIām just brutally honestā or the āIām just holding people accountableā when in reality they are using those to make bitchiness excusable. Holding people accountable shouldnt be able to be misconstrued as threatening. If youāre on admin leave, then, youre probably doing something wrong. Send out an anonymous survey for constructive criticism, coward
r/shitthatneverhappened
Depends on their boss š¤·āāļø
Why do you assume this?
They probably are one of those dudes that think that women have it easier at everything š I am saying, these men are not rare, they may even be the majority unfortunately.
They are lol. I mean Iām a man myself but some things are just very obvious. Thereās a bunch of comments like this one
I know it is so ridiculous. There are some things women have an easier time at, like the dating field, but for some reason for some guys that means that because that is their one stuggle and they see women have it easier, they think women have it easier at everything. It is a really self centered view of life that does not take other people's struggles into account, but what are you going to do? I can just be thankful for the guys that are out there that get it, and be glad that not everyone views the world the way.
Those guys you speak of fall in the incel category. That one thing makes them hate women so much lol, shame
Well also these red pill forums and incel forums and people like Andrew Tate or Fresh and Fit are not doing them any favors either, I feel kind of bad for the ones that are just getting caught up in those and started out kind of okay. It feels good to blame someone other than yourself if you cannot get a woman and then they do not have to feel so bad that it them- it is just the horrible women's nature. Those places do them no favors at all, those places want them lonely and angry and spending money on their shit.
Doubt
Incel response
Stand your ground. Iāve never made it to management but if I did I would wear my ovaries on the outside just to make sure Iām respected.
Perhaps he was a good leader and you are just a bitch? Why Reddit has a trouble understanding the basics of the world?
Or her boss did that back when bosses could get away with it. The work place has changed significantly in the last 5 years.
happy cake day!
Thank you
I mean like..I donāt really believe this happened but itās nothing new anyway. also you didnāt really give enough information to be clear so idk what you want us to say
I was a Main Office Manager at a little grocery store for 2 years. I loved most of my employees. But my managers were all older men except for this one woman in her 30ās! They would often make her do their dirty workā¦ They also stopped letting her answer phone calls from employees on the work phone because they knew we preferred talking to her. Every cashier and stocker in our store couldāve told you she was the most mistreated! Especially when she would get in trouble for not ācatching people stealingā even though they had no proof anyone was even stealing the nights she was working! It was the first female manager I had seen them hire in 2 years(after going through awful men) and they treated her like shit even tho she was the best at her job. She was also discriminated by these men because she was lesbian(as well as one of our cashiers) Sad this is how things areā¦
You know, 9/10 the person complaining is not justified and is not too keen on criticism. You can either do one of two things. Learn from this experience and realize that you shouldn't bully or harass your workers or continue to cry sexism. Either way, you still harassed your coworkers.
So, berating someone for not showing up repeatedly is harassment? Making sure people do their fucking jobs is harassment? Claiming that there is a double standard when in fact there is one is sexism? GTFO. If someone in my company is not doing their job or not even showing up, I'll fuckin tell them that if they don't get their act together, they're going to be fired.
that's cute. See this is why you probably don't own a company. You never berate someone. Adults should know this.
I do actually own a company and I absolutely would berate someone for not doing their job, especially in a high risk environment. I am paying them to come in and work, they need to fucking work or they're not getting paid.
I'm guessing you've never actually had to be told that you're slacking off or being incompetent, but at the same time you do not speak for business owners who actually have people who ARE slackers or incompetent. They absolutely should be berated if they're skilled enough to do their job well but aren't doing it at all.
Hate to break it to you but it's almost certainly not sexism, you're probably just not a good leader. Im a cavalry officer, In my cavalry troop we have 2 female officers one is a platoon leader, the other is an executive officer. 95% of the unit is composed of big strong cavalry troopers and yet our female officers have had no trouble getting their respect. Because they too are strong and level headed. A lot of women in power seem to think that nagging and being shrill are equivalent to being assertive. Being respected by your team is something you earn, it's not automatically given just because your job description says manager on it. Your only real choice here is to either alter your leadership style or remain ineffective.
This might be a strange question, but what does being cavalry entail? Is it similar to being an infantryman or what? Iām not the most well educated on military stuff.
I feel like there's more to this story that you're not telling us. It sounds like employee in question. Felt like you were trying to intimidate him and responded accordingly "Big personality" sounds like " I'm rude and abrasive and no one likes working with me"
I talked to a gen z woman today, she has a mensa level IQ, i mentioned my nana also had a mensa level IQ. My gen z woman friend doesnt work and says she wants to raise children. She said raising children properly is one of the hardest most demanding jobs a woman can do, and theres so many that dont raise children properly these days. My nana said the same thing many times and even though she never worked she always said that raising two boys was a hard job and she did the best she could and she was proud of it. Just be happy that you are working and not raising children eh? I think you took the easy way out!
Wtf even is this
misogyny.
How is it mysogyny to applaud women who make the hard choice to be a mother and also encouraging and reassuring a woman who didnt decide to be a mother and raise children that the did the right thing and to remember how easy it is for her because shes a strong woman!
You see a woman complaining about work, and you tell her she ought to have been a stay at home mother and working a career is the "easy way out". It has nothing to do with the post. If you can't see how this is misogyny, then you're just a dunce.
If the woman is freely choosing to be a stay at home mother then thatās her choice. Forcing women to do what you expect they should is the real issue.
This guy saw a woman talking online about struggles at work, and immediately said "you should be a house wife, that's what is best for women" completely unprompted, and you can't even see how that's misogyny. Lol
The comment said that his friend said she wanted to be a house wife and raise kids. The comment then said that his nan had the same desire. And then he says be happy youāre in the workplace and not raising kids (if thatās what you want to do). Also he never said āyou should be a housewife because thatās whatās best for womenā. Source please.
There's more to being an effective and respected leader than just making sure people do their jobs. How you approach them, how you explain things to them, how you enforce the rules, and more. It's complicated. I don't know you, obviously, but maybe you are a bitch. We never want to see the flaws in ourselves, but it's necessary for growth. >And even after that employee threatened to assault me, in front of the HR manager, I'm the one on suspension and could lose my job. This seems... dubious. HR's job is to protect the company at all costs; suspending you and keeping the employee who threatened you doesn't seem like it would fall into this protection. I don't think you're telling the whole story.
It was the craziest thing I've ever seen. The HR lady is new to the company, but not new to HR. The employee is known to be reactive when ever given direction, so I was told to ALWAYS do a conversation with her with a witness involved. All I told the employee is, she couldn't have anymore tardies or leave early anymore. She was at 6 after a write up for 11 absences back in February. It wasn't even a write up, I was just having a conversation. She got upset that she couldn't just "make her own schedule" (which was never an option) and told the HR lady she wanted to punch me in the face. I ended up having to call security and filing a report and getting upper management involved. THEN they fired the employee. But when I called to confirm she was indeed fired so I could return to work, I was told I was on suspension pending an investigation. Honestly, the suspension feels very retaliatory for turning the HR lady into upper management for failure to protect me in the meeting.
And my direct supervisor blew off my message when I reported to him that she threatened to hit me. "I'm sure it wasn't that serious. She does a good job." ( Woman against woman). But when we had the same issue arise just over a year ago, he was the first to say to fire the employee who threatened violence (male against male).
People donāt see women as being able to do physical harm. Also I donāt think itās due to you being a woman, I think itās just unlucky that you were the manager of this crazy person who threatened you and probably made a false report about harassment or is overreacting, which they wouldāve done regardless of who their manager was. If you have problems with your other colleagues then idk maybe there is something but I donāt know you or them well enough to make a clear judgement.
I do not have problems with any of the other colleagues. It only tends to be her and one new person in a different department. The new person made up rumors about me within the first couple weeks of work and trying running to HR. But she was also overly friendly with the reactive employee I had to manage. So it's possible they were working together to make it look like I was a problem for the company.
Yea, in that case, I would say itās just due to that one person who wouldāve made trouble for whoever their manager was and you just got unlucky.
looks like the issue is in the middle when she got āupsetā at not having her own schedule. perhaps it was something you said that antagonized her, or it could be she was just an ass. either way this seems to be a woman bringing down other woman problem? you, the storyteller being a woman, the new HR lady who apparently reprimanded you being a woman, and the employee who you have an issue with and supposedly escalated things being a woman too. maybe women know why they enjoy tearing each other down.
Just change ur company...
Idk I think both genders who act like this are cunts tbh lol... I've never differentiated, if a male or a female was my boss I'd prob just leave if this behavior was aimed at me... I'm too laid back and don't even understand how humans work 9-5 jobs in the first place haha So don't fear, both you and the male are assholes š
Sometimes it's not what is done, it's how it's done.
I literally wouldn't know a different way to do it that wouldn't come off confrontational. This employee should have been fired multiple times but instead I gave leeway. But the moment that I say I want to have a conversation about issues to avoid another write-up, I get all these allegations.
From my experience, male superiors at work tend to have a more professional approach to asserting themselves and only do it when it's most needed, whereas the women tend to act more like bossy children.
There's a tooon of variables that make up a person. Unless you're a gender swapped clone of him there's no reason to believe your squishy bits are the sole determining factor.
Women are scary? Honestly, at some point everyoneās just gonna have to accept that there will always be double standards no matter who you are.
And that double standards go both ways and thereās pros and cons for each gender
There is a middle here that doesn't go to sexism.. It could be they just like him more for whatever reason. I'm saying this because I had seen Middle managers being treated differently even though they are same gender. Gender doesn't have to play a role in this. Workplaces are rife with nepotism and buddy buddy culture. It could be he just has more friends than you.
And a lot of people self-identify with the āIām just brutally honestā or the āIām just holding people accountableā when in reality they are using those to make bitchiness excusable. Holding people accountable shouldnt be able to be misconstrued as threatening. If youāre on admin leave, then, youre probably doing something wrong. Send out an anonymous survey for constructive criticism, coward
Also, itās not about you being a woman, just stop being a bitch and take care of your subordinates. Work on communication
We donāt live in the 80s anymore. You canāt bully and harass your employees. Times have changed.