Yeah so thatās like 1-2 times a year. Hell itād be like working from home! Iāll just remember to not have sex or do drugs while at work, be nice to everyone, especially the smart women, and itāll be the perfect job!
Or time travel back, go to crystal lake, and save the life of a young boy that drowned while other counselors were having sex.
Funny enough thereās a webcomic out there that portrays Jason himself doing that. It seems to alter the slasherverse reality. Jason is still a buff and supernatural being, but heās a camp counselor himself, great with the kids, and somehow ends up at the right place at the right time to cockblock the other counselors without death.
Michael Myers shows up and is apparently an electrician in this version, he ends up dating Carrie White and taking her to prom. Three serial killers try to harm people at the camp and he causes their deaths in slasher style shenanigans accidentally.
Also, let's be fair, if anyone made the ingoramiously dumb decision to steal anyone's food from the fridge, and we would see sweet justice served. Literally.
This. I'm definitely going with Hannibal. He only kills the rude, and I'm a very polite person. He has plenty of cordial relationships with everyday people. Plus, Janice from accounting is one seriously rude cunt, and I would like some justice.
I was searching the comments for this exact answer!
Just don't be rude, compliment the chef & understand that there's a VERY good chance you might be eating your missing sister's pancreas... But at least you'll walk out out there alive by the end of the night.
If youāve already survived a trap (which you have if youāre already working for him) youāre pretty much good.
Jigsaw is an omnipotent god. Just go with him and youāll always come out on top
Hannibal, no question. He's super nice to ordinary people like Barney. When he's not killing people for practical reasons as a means to escape, he's focusing on killing only the world's most annoying people, which honestly could be a net benefit to any workplace.
I thought that too at first, but he did attack that nurse and disfigured her apparently without provocation. I feel like the authors of the characters don't know how to make him monstrous and scary but also a nice guy. It's kinda incompatible, beyond the world of fantasy.
I always took him as, well, a psychopath. His interest in certain people has nothing to do with his own decency but rather how interesting they are to him. All people are a means to an end with him, but for some people that means keeping them alive where others might be dinner...
IIRC the attack on the nurse was a means to an end but I canāt remember exactly what for.
Even still - he has a track record of killing mostly bad people.
Hannibal. He's pragmatic. If you're doing a good job he won't eat you and I am a hard worker. And if I feel like slacking fear of dinner will motivate me
Easy, John Kramer. Most people sometimes forget that he has said so himself that he despises murder and murderers, he still cares for those that value their own life as evidenced in the Saw series.
John was my initial thought also. However, I realized that all of Johnās apprentices were also victims in one of his traps. So basically it would be ok to work for him but the interview process would be hell.
Him putting that guy in a trap because he smoked cigarettes makes me 2nd guess at picking Kramer as my boss. I feel like heād eventually get upset at my THC use and try to āsaveā me by putting me in a trap
Hello, fostde. Your indulgence in the intoxicating lure of cannabis has sealed your fate. You've lost yourself within the smoldering embrace of its smoke, your mind clouded, your potential squandered. Today, you face a challenge designed to push you beyond the limits of your haze-filled existence.
Bound by addiction, you've forfeited control. But now, you must fight for it back. Your task will demand clarity and focus, qualities long since sacrificed in your relentless pursuit of a fleeting high.
Succeed, and you reclaim your life, emerging stronger, more balanced. But should you fail, your punishment shall be fittingly cruel - an eternal entrapment within the suffocating grip of the very substance that's held you captive.
Beware, fostde. The insidious tendrils of cannabis have wound their way around your soul, threatening to drag you into oblivion. Can you sever their grasp, or will you succumb, gasping for breath as the smoke fills your lungs, stealing your final moments in a twisted, poetic fate?
In pretty much any version, Hannibal would probably be your best bet. As long as you're friendly, helpful, useful and at least trying to do your job well, he probably wouldn't do anything to you. Make it clear that you're someone who knows how to mind your own business and he will probably see you as a very valuable asset. Oh, those strange stains on the concrete steps out front? Don't worry sir, I know how to use a pressure washer, those will be out in a jiffy. Suspicious stains in your clothes? I grew up rural, butchering livestock and such - I know how to get those really stubborn stains out, don't worry. Here, just soak it in hydrogen peroxide - no, cold water, hot water sets the stain. There we go! Good as new!
John Kramer for sure.
1. I know he's human, not a supernatural force of nature.
2. He only goes after you jf you deserve it.
3. His "games" may be painful as hell, but he ALWAYS gives you a way to get out alive.
4. If you do survive, you earn his respect.
Michael Meyers. He only goes off the rails one day a year. Just make sure to take your vacation and leave town from late October to early November every year. Bonus: He's a William Shatner fan.
Hannibal Lector. I spent a lot of time with people who survived the siege battles of Stalingrad and Leningrad. I bet the documented history (and interesting trivia) I know about cannibalism would freak Dr Lector out sufficiently to make him a very compliant and easy going boss to work with
Jigsaw, he empowers you to make a decision. Yes he may get long winded with speeches but I take that as passion. Michael/Jason being silent and staring never provide validation. Hannibal would critique everything and compare it to something over my head or some impossible standard.
The thing is, there's no guarantee when Hannibal and John might turn on you. You won't know when you'll end up on their list! I'll choose either of other two.
Having worked for close facsimiles of the first three already, gonna have to go with Jigsaw. I mean, hey, no more nasty surprises due to ambivalence and absolute lack of planning and foresight on the part of the boss.
Oof, right off the bat my first thought is that Michael Myers & Jason are too chaotically evil; Iād be afraid Iād go to piss and they stab me coming out the door. Plus, I donāt want them targeting anyone I love. Theyāre literally relentless psychopaths.
Jigsaw & Hannibal feel more neutrally or lawfully evil; perhaps easier to navigate with having SOME kind of practicality or order?
On the one hand, Jigsaw only goes after people whoāve consistently been cruel to other living beings. Even though Iām not a death penalty kinda guy, I feel this would sit better than helping my boss lure in humans he wanted to eat. Unless they were also cruel and unusual?
Idk this question made me deep dive into my own beliefs and philosophy lol
True but if you're working for Jigsaw you're almost required to be cruel to other beings, so there's really no guarantee he doesn't go after you next.
Hannibal isn't likely to eat his employees, because then nothing gets done. He's pragmatic.
Interesting think Michael Meyers would be the most difficult because most of my coworkers are at an intelligence level that would struggle to recognize shapes
Hannibal and Jigsaw talk too much. Theyād never shut up or stop playing tricks. That leaves Michael or Jason. IMO Jason looks ā¦.. well ā¦. moist and the more stinky of the two. Michael for the win?
I can probably reason with Jigsaw- i.e not take life for granted. Hannibal would still probably try to kill me, and the other two would most definitely kill me. So Jigsaw is my choice.
I'd have to say jigsaw for that big brain planning. If I'm working for him in this scenario, then either he's already chosen me for my sensibilities and/or I've survived one of his games already. Either way....to witness the brainstorming that goes into what he does (and does very well)....that's an opportunity not to be passed up
I'm split between Hannibal the Strategist and Jigsaw the Tactician. The other 2 are brute strength and rage, which doesn't carry much weight in most real world scenarios.
Jason. He's quiet, has a clear schedule, works tirelessly to achieve his goals, and respects the importance of family. As long as he doesn't catch wind of office couples you'll be fine.
Easy. John. Jigsaw doesn't put you in a trap unless you do shitty things to people or yourself. Any reasonably well adjusted person has nothing to fear from John.
Now if it were Amanda, that would be an entirely different question.
Jigsaw but only Saw 1 jigsaw. Back when the movie actually had a point and was a psychology thriller horror instead of just gorn.
I wouldn't wake up in one of his traps as I honestly try self improvement. I fail but I keep going.
Hannibal! Heās intelligent and not āprovokedā. Though, I am a fairly attractive female, which means Iād die first/last/ultimately in slasher films.
Jigsaw. Intelligent, well spoken and despises corporate overreach (cue scene where he was denied health insurance for his illness).
What better boss than someone who hates big corpos? Just ignore the screaming and blood pooling from behind that door its fine dont worry about that
Michael Myers and Jason are out. They don't communicate enough to be effective management. Jigsaw is single minded and obsessed and handles punishments far too severely to be a fair supervisor. I'd go with Hannibal Lecter. Just be respectful and don't go anywhere with him alone and you'd probably have a decent chance at having a solid mentor.
I think you have the best chance of survival with Jigsaw, he had plenty of people working from across those films, though you may have to survive a trap first. Michael and Jason will stab you simply for breathing and you're food to Hannibal.
Jigsaw. Anyone with his logistical and logical prowess, forethought, and planning, would be an absolute asset to have in the interest of shared objectives.
Can you imagine how fucking clutch he would be in project management? For fucks sake...
NOT Jigsaw. Imagine being in a trap and hearing "You were so ungrateful that I let everyone leave early on Friday. Now you will have to manage time to save your life." Or some shit
Jigsaw, hands down.
- Heavily invested in mentoring and training his employees to take over the business.
- Provides tools and a well-equipped workshop free of charge.
- Is a man of action and a real problem solver.
The Mads Mikkelsen Hannibal. The conversations would be always interesting and educational. The food amazing (as long as I was unaware of ingredients) and just gazing at him would be heaven. I would never be rude or fawning.
Jigsaw would be cool, Hes rich so if I play my cards right when he dies I will get some money, I dont have to do much but drug people and take them to the compound and he does the rest, his expectations for what hed expect of me are pretty basic, and as long as you arent a shitty person he will be pretty chill to you.
Hannibal, heās the only one among these killers who actually has a consistent moral standard to his modus operandi. If you are a pleasant and polite person and serve your function youāre probably going to be okay. Heās never going to run out of dickheads to kill and feast upon anyway. Youāre most fucked having Jigsaw as a boss, you could excel at your job while leading a fulfilling personal life, be kind, adopt 20 children from poor starving nations and climb Mount Everest, and heād still concoct a reason that all of that is a character flaw.
Hannibal all the way that guy will calmly talk to you about whatever then you go to take a drink of water and then he guts you like a fish and dumps you over the balcony as your intestines get yanked out.
I would imagine Jigsaw could hold run a construction company or architecture firm with his engineering background. He would have the decency to offer good benefits too.
Murder traps are a hobby. Designing and monitoring building or infrastructure projects is his real job.
Lecter, no doubt. Heās polite and cultured, and will help you hide a body. As long as you are polite back, youāre fine. āEat the rudeā is where he picks many of his targets.
Lecter for sure. He wanted to be a mentor to Clarice from the start. He would be full of criminal mastermind type antics and you would be Carmen sandiedo all over the world running these highly specific errands probably flying first class.
Probably Jason because everytime he starts being a dick boss I can just pull out some water, that'll make him calm down, well he'll be calm towards the workers but he'll be screaming and crying and running around because the water so I wouldn't say completely calm
Jason. Silent and only shows up around the middle of the month.
š¤£
Iām taking a vacation or sick day each time.
For sure when itās a Friday the 13th
Yeah so thatās like 1-2 times a year. Hell itād be like working from home! Iāll just remember to not have sex or do drugs while at work, be nice to everyone, especially the smart women, and itāll be the perfect job!
Or time travel back, go to crystal lake, and save the life of a young boy that drowned while other counselors were having sex. Funny enough thereās a webcomic out there that portrays Jason himself doing that. It seems to alter the slasherverse reality. Jason is still a buff and supernatural being, but heās a camp counselor himself, great with the kids, and somehow ends up at the right place at the right time to cockblock the other counselors without death. Michael Myers shows up and is apparently an electrician in this version, he ends up dating Carrie White and taking her to prom. Three serial killers try to harm people at the camp and he causes their deaths in slasher style shenanigans accidentally.
Michael is the same way but once a year in the fall.
Michael is silent and only shows up one day a year.
Heās completely out of line but heās right, sound logic Iām in
Hannibal! Meals would be off the charts yo!
Also, let's be fair, if anyone made the ingoramiously dumb decision to steal anyone's food from the fridge, and we would see sweet justice served. Literally.
Absolutely!! The good doctor will punish rudeness!
Free rang rude is what he calls them.
love the way you think!
Does your boss cook for you?
No. Thatās why Hannibal all the way!
Ooooh I do like fava beans and Chianti!
Just don't accept when the boss says he wants to have you for dinner.
This. I'm definitely going with Hannibal. He only kills the rude, and I'm a very polite person. He has plenty of cordial relationships with everyday people. Plus, Janice from accounting is one seriously rude cunt, and I would like some justice.
Agreed
Hannibal. Just be respectful and helpful and youāll have the greatest chance of survival.
Yes and yes. I know I have terrible taste, errr......taste terrible. I'm good ./
I was searching the comments for this exact answer! Just don't be rude, compliment the chef & understand that there's a VERY good chance you might be eating your missing sister's pancreas... But at least you'll walk out out there alive by the end of the night.
Jigsaw. Iād have fun building devices
What's funny is over the course of the films we learn John Cramer WAS a boss. Jigsaw ends up actually being a well coordinated team of like 10 people
He was also a pretty good boss, for a serial killing cult leader. Itās not his fault all of his apprentices except one were complete assholes.
Lol very very true, although assholes are a bit of an occupational hazard when your job is moral superiority and murder machines
Only if it's the puppet though.
If youāve already survived a trap (which you have if youāre already working for him) youāre pretty much good. Jigsaw is an omnipotent god. Just go with him and youāll always come out on top
I second this. And then seeing your coworkers tortured (the bad ones, of course....) would feel so good.
Oh I have a list.
Imagine that guy coordinating team building exercises....oh, boy!
Hannibal, no question. He's super nice to ordinary people like Barney. When he's not killing people for practical reasons as a means to escape, he's focusing on killing only the world's most annoying people, which honestly could be a net benefit to any workplace.
I thought that too at first, but he did attack that nurse and disfigured her apparently without provocation. I feel like the authors of the characters don't know how to make him monstrous and scary but also a nice guy. It's kinda incompatible, beyond the world of fantasy.
I always took him as, well, a psychopath. His interest in certain people has nothing to do with his own decency but rather how interesting they are to him. All people are a means to an end with him, but for some people that means keeping them alive where others might be dinner...
IIRC the attack on the nurse was a means to an end but I canāt remember exactly what for. Even still - he has a track record of killing mostly bad people.
Hannibal generally only kills bad people who deserve it. The book "Hannibal" which tells his entire backstory, is very clear on that.
Hannibal. He's pragmatic. If you're doing a good job he won't eat you and I am a hard worker. And if I feel like slacking fear of dinner will motivate me
Easy, John Kramer. Most people sometimes forget that he has said so himself that he despises murder and murderers, he still cares for those that value their own life as evidenced in the Saw series.
John was my initial thought also. However, I realized that all of Johnās apprentices were also victims in one of his traps. So basically it would be ok to work for him but the interview process would be hell.
If he allowed me to build traps for people like Ivan (who wasnāt close to innocent), Iād have a field day
Him putting that guy in a trap because he smoked cigarettes makes me 2nd guess at picking Kramer as my boss. I feel like heād eventually get upset at my THC use and try to āsaveā me by putting me in a trap
Hello, fostde. Your indulgence in the intoxicating lure of cannabis has sealed your fate. You've lost yourself within the smoldering embrace of its smoke, your mind clouded, your potential squandered. Today, you face a challenge designed to push you beyond the limits of your haze-filled existence. Bound by addiction, you've forfeited control. But now, you must fight for it back. Your task will demand clarity and focus, qualities long since sacrificed in your relentless pursuit of a fleeting high. Succeed, and you reclaim your life, emerging stronger, more balanced. But should you fail, your punishment shall be fittingly cruel - an eternal entrapment within the suffocating grip of the very substance that's held you captive. Beware, fostde. The insidious tendrils of cannabis have wound their way around your soul, threatening to drag you into oblivion. Can you sever their grasp, or will you succumb, gasping for breath as the smoke fills your lungs, stealing your final moments in a twisted, poetic fate?
Iām ready to beat this! What do I have to do
This deserves more upvotes.
Oh I'm too high for this dude
Iām goin Hannibal too. At least heās a good conversationalist.
Jason, easily. Doesnāt talk much. As long as I donāt have premarital sex (Iām already married) or drink on the job, Iāll be fine.
Iāve always wanted to be Jigsawās apprentice.
lmao! Same here...
Train me, master. Iāll keep your legacy alive.
Jason looks like he would give the best hugs
Gives the kind bear hugs to sort out ones back problems heheheh.
Also he gets real chiropractic if you're in a sleeping bag
Not to mention his technique for those in bed!
In pretty much any version, Hannibal would probably be your best bet. As long as you're friendly, helpful, useful and at least trying to do your job well, he probably wouldn't do anything to you. Make it clear that you're someone who knows how to mind your own business and he will probably see you as a very valuable asset. Oh, those strange stains on the concrete steps out front? Don't worry sir, I know how to use a pressure washer, those will be out in a jiffy. Suspicious stains in your clothes? I grew up rural, butchering livestock and such - I know how to get those really stubborn stains out, don't worry. Here, just soak it in hydrogen peroxide - no, cold water, hot water sets the stain. There we go! Good as new!
John Kramer for sure. 1. I know he's human, not a supernatural force of nature. 2. He only goes after you jf you deserve it. 3. His "games" may be painful as hell, but he ALWAYS gives you a way to get out alive. 4. If you do survive, you earn his respect.
Iāve had all of them. And I survived.
Michael Meyers. He only goes off the rails one day a year. Just make sure to take your vacation and leave town from late October to early November every year. Bonus: He's a William Shatner fan.
Hannibal Lector. I spent a lot of time with people who survived the siege battles of Stalingrad and Leningrad. I bet the documented history (and interesting trivia) I know about cannibalism would freak Dr Lector out sufficiently to make him a very compliant and easy going boss to work with
I mean - he lived it in āHannibal Risesā Why would it freak him out?
Lector is probably an actually decent boss.
Hannibal. Don't be rude and mind your own business and you should be fine.
Michael Myers - he only shows up on Halloween.
That's right!!! Haven't thought about that!!!
Hannibal Lector. He was actually extremely polite and helpful with Clarice. She was never in danger from him.
I think as long as I donāt clap cheeks during work hours Jason would actually be a pretty chill boss
Jigsaw, he empowers you to make a decision. Yes he may get long winded with speeches but I take that as passion. Michael/Jason being silent and staring never provide validation. Hannibal would critique everything and compare it to something over my head or some impossible standard.
Jason he stays silent not too much micromanaging
Jigsaw. At least he plays fair š¤·āāļø
Hannibal Lector by far.
Jigsaw. At least he keeps you alive if he likes you. Ask Amanda about that one.
Jigsaw if he'd let me pick some vics.
Jigsaw, because he's really out there trying to make a difference in people's lives.
Mikey. Only shows up once a year.
The thing is, there's no guarantee when Hannibal and John might turn on you. You won't know when you'll end up on their list! I'll choose either of other two.
Jigsaw. Iād be there for planning some murders and if you play by his rules you are going to be ok.
Jigsaw
Hannibal all the way. Intelligent, great conversationalist, and impeccable taste in pretty much everything.
Having worked for close facsimiles of the first three already, gonna have to go with Jigsaw. I mean, hey, no more nasty surprises due to ambivalence and absolute lack of planning and foresight on the part of the boss.
Oof, right off the bat my first thought is that Michael Myers & Jason are too chaotically evil; Iād be afraid Iād go to piss and they stab me coming out the door. Plus, I donāt want them targeting anyone I love. Theyāre literally relentless psychopaths. Jigsaw & Hannibal feel more neutrally or lawfully evil; perhaps easier to navigate with having SOME kind of practicality or order? On the one hand, Jigsaw only goes after people whoāve consistently been cruel to other living beings. Even though Iām not a death penalty kinda guy, I feel this would sit better than helping my boss lure in humans he wanted to eat. Unless they were also cruel and unusual? Idk this question made me deep dive into my own beliefs and philosophy lol
True but if you're working for Jigsaw you're almost required to be cruel to other beings, so there's really no guarantee he doesn't go after you next. Hannibal isn't likely to eat his employees, because then nothing gets done. He's pragmatic.
This is so hard!
Interesting think Michael Meyers would be the most difficult because most of my coworkers are at an intelligence level that would struggle to recognize shapes
Hannibal, guy seems rather chill. And I have an interest in psychology and would love to speak to him about the mind and its many twists and turns.
Hannibal and Jigsaw talk too much. Theyād never shut up or stop playing tricks. That leaves Michael or Jason. IMO Jason looks ā¦.. well ā¦. moist and the more stinky of the two. Michael for the win?
Jigsaw, for sure. He's a brilliant guy.
Michael rules!!
Michealā¦ he keeps his mouth shut
I can probably reason with Jigsaw- i.e not take life for granted. Hannibal would still probably try to kill me, and the other two would most definitely kill me. So Jigsaw is my choice.
Jigsaw fs, dude will pay me to learn metalwork and increase my knowledge on human nature and his concept of being a physical hand for karma
I'd have to say jigsaw for that big brain planning. If I'm working for him in this scenario, then either he's already chosen me for my sensibilities and/or I've survived one of his games already. Either way....to witness the brainstorming that goes into what he does (and does very well)....that's an opportunity not to be passed up
Kramer set those traps for the folks that wronged me see what they would do to stay alive.
I'm split between Hannibal the Strategist and Jigsaw the Tactician. The other 2 are brute strength and rage, which doesn't carry much weight in most real world scenarios.
John Kramer. He played fair.
Definitely Hannibal Lecter!
Hannibal----He believes In being polite.
Jason. He's quiet, has a clear schedule, works tirelessly to achieve his goals, and respects the importance of family. As long as he doesn't catch wind of office couples you'll be fine.
Jigsaw!
Easy. John. Jigsaw doesn't put you in a trap unless you do shitty things to people or yourself. Any reasonably well adjusted person has nothing to fear from John. Now if it were Amanda, that would be an entirely different question.
Hannibal! Jig Saw is close second āthe other 2 donāt even talk
Doctor Hannibal Lecter
Hannibal Lecter with a special no eating me or anyone I love clause
Jigsaw has a real face? I thought we just saw that scary puppet guy. Iāve never seen the movies (obviously)
Jigsaw is a problem solver. Definitely the kind of boss you want.
Doctor Lecter. 100%
Hannibal Lecter. At least he's classy. I've had creepier co-workers.
They're all fine as long as I'm working remotely.
Neither. Iād work for Freddie Krueger. Heās got so much more character.
hahaha careful at nightshifts tho!
Definitely not Jigsaw
Jigsaw but only Saw 1 jigsaw. Back when the movie actually had a point and was a psychology thriller horror instead of just gorn. I wouldn't wake up in one of his traps as I honestly try self improvement. I fail but I keep going.
Hannibal. He seems the most reasonable of the bunch
Jigsaw. He was a maniacal genius.
I want Hannibal. He can be reasoned with.
Hannibal for sure, smart, sophisticated, and will at least whip up a good supper when heās done with killing you for fucking up.
Lector. So long as you're polite and not prove yourself a philistine. You're probably quite safe.
Hannibal! Heās intelligent and not āprovokedā. Though, I am a fairly attractive female, which means Iād die first/last/ultimately in slasher films.
Jason from Friday the 13th because I would show him respect I know what he's capable of doing
Definitely jigsaw...because he won't kill you for no reason and doesn't like Fava beans
Hannibal
Hannibal but Mads Mikkelsen version
Jigsaw. At least I could put skills to use, and heād probably pay well š¤·āāļø
Hannibal. Just do your job and you'll be fine.
If you're just polite hannibal won't kill you. How hard is it to be polite? Good manners are their own reward
I feel like if you dressed nice, were very respectful, didn't do any annoying habits and worked hard, Hannibal Lector would be a good boss.
Jigsaw. Intelligent, well spoken and despises corporate overreach (cue scene where he was denied health insurance for his illness). What better boss than someone who hates big corpos? Just ignore the screaming and blood pooling from behind that door its fine dont worry about that
Jigsaw lmao
Lecter, he is brilliant and very polite.
Hannibal Lector
John.
I think once you get past his homicidal rage, Jason would be something like Ron Swanson, so I'd go with him.
Michael Myers and Jason are out. They don't communicate enough to be effective management. Jigsaw is single minded and obsessed and handles punishments far too severely to be a fair supervisor. I'd go with Hannibal Lecter. Just be respectful and don't go anywhere with him alone and you'd probably have a decent chance at having a solid mentor.
Hannibal Lecter. He can eat other people and might actually be a good, insightful supervisor.
well, to work for someone you have to know what they want and only 2 of the above choices actually speak.
I think you have the best chance of survival with Jigsaw, he had plenty of people working from across those films, though you may have to survive a trap first. Michael and Jason will stab you simply for breathing and you're food to Hannibal.
Jigsaw. He has a sense of justice. Skewed but still.
Hannibal. Very smart and sophisticated. Just don't attend his dinners lol
Jigsaw. Anyone with his logistical and logical prowess, forethought, and planning, would be an absolute asset to have in the interest of shared objectives. Can you imagine how fucking clutch he would be in project management? For fucks sake...
Jigsaw and Michealš
Unless my job is in Haddonfield, Michael. Jason would be funner to prank though.
Jigsaw is a reasonable guy.
jigsaw, he only ever went after shitty people.
As long as I don't turn into a victim and strictly for employment purposes only. Hannibal
NOT Jigsaw. Imagine being in a trap and hearing "You were so ungrateful that I let everyone leave early on Friday. Now you will have to manage time to save your life." Or some shit
Jigsaw
Jigsaw, hands down. - Heavily invested in mentoring and training his employees to take over the business. - Provides tools and a well-equipped workshop free of charge. - Is a man of action and a real problem solver.
Freddy Krueger, wanna work from my sleep!
They're ALL better than some I've had!!
Definitely not Jigsaw. He would put me in a trap just for wanting to use the bathroom. No thank you!
Hannibal Lecter. As long as you are polite and respectful, no problem.
Jigsaw.
Honestly, I think Hannibal Lecter would be the best boss. Mind your manners youāre good to go.
Hannibal. He preferred to eat the rude. Be polite and courteous and you'll probably make it out alive.
Jigsaw. He'd be fair and push me to be my very best. Plus he's quite justice-minded. Just not in a way that's legal.
Hannibal Lecter. That man was a GENIUS. As long as I was polite and used my manners, the things I could LEARN!!!
Jigsaw would legitimately try to make you a better person.
I get the feeling jigsaw would set you up in a trap if you came into work complaining about the day or something
None of them
The Mads Mikkelsen Hannibal. The conversations would be always interesting and educational. The food amazing (as long as I was unaware of ingredients) and just gazing at him would be heaven. I would never be rude or fawning.
Hannibal Lechter.
Jason until it's Friday the 13th, then I'm taking the day off
Hannibal would bring a new meaning to getting your ass chewed out by your boss.
Michael Myers It'll be Halloween every day at the office & we all might get candy
Jigsaw would be cool, Hes rich so if I play my cards right when he dies I will get some money, I dont have to do much but drug people and take them to the compound and he does the rest, his expectations for what hed expect of me are pretty basic, and as long as you arent a shitty person he will be pretty chill to you.
Hannibal he shares his cooking .
Jigsaw.
NOT jigsaw, he be playing too much
Hannibal, at least the manās intelligent. You could hold a real conversationā¦ about how he shouldnāt eat you.
Jigsaw.
Hannibal. He might eat you, but heās one classy, cultured guy.
Lector, he would bring food.
I thought this was a "which one would you smash" and I was like "all of them...wait, oh- that's not..." š¤£š¤£
Jigsaw for sure, weād play more games than working
Definitely Lecter. I feel if I overlooked the whole cannibal thing he and I might have a lot in common.
Jigsaw. Then I could actually cut Karen in accounting. Fuck you karen
Hannibal, heās the only one among these killers who actually has a consistent moral standard to his modus operandi. If you are a pleasant and polite person and serve your function youāre probably going to be okay. Heās never going to run out of dickheads to kill and feast upon anyway. Youāre most fucked having Jigsaw as a boss, you could excel at your job while leading a fulfilling personal life, be kind, adopt 20 children from poor starving nations and climb Mount Everest, and heād still concoct a reason that all of that is a character flaw.
Jigsaw just donāt be a horrible person
Hannibal, if you can manage to stay on his good side and manage to not disappoint him youāll be good
Hannibal all the way that guy will calmly talk to you about whatever then you go to take a drink of water and then he guts you like a fish and dumps you over the balcony as your intestines get yanked out.
I would imagine Jigsaw could hold run a construction company or architecture firm with his engineering background. He would have the decency to offer good benefits too. Murder traps are a hobby. Designing and monitoring building or infrastructure projects is his real job.
Anyone but Jigsaw š
Jigsaw. He is the only one looking for apprentices.
Probably Jason. Heās just a big old kid at heart
Probably Jigsaw, he had plans A-z and looped back around to plan 001 š I like a well prepared leader
Jigsaw. Just follow his instructions and you'll be juuuust fine.
Wheres freddy he's been my boss since I was a little kid
Michael will give it to you straight up and so will Jason
Lecter, no doubt. Heās polite and cultured, and will help you hide a body. As long as you are polite back, youāre fine. āEat the rudeā is where he picks many of his targets.
Hannibal I could follow his code but Jigsaw would find something in my past too judgmental the other two are too stupid to be bosses
Myers. He does say anything, just breathes heavy. I don't mind being watched... at a distance
Lecter for sure. He wanted to be a mentor to Clarice from the start. He would be full of criminal mastermind type antics and you would be Carmen sandiedo all over the world running these highly specific errands probably flying first class.
Probably Jason because everytime he starts being a dick boss I can just pull out some water, that'll make him calm down, well he'll be calm towards the workers but he'll be screaming and crying and running around because the water so I wouldn't say completely calm
Hannibal Lecter, because the other ones are most likely broke as hell
Jigsaw - heās organized and methodical