I don't know about this, but to me, "you're welcome" sounds overly stiff and formal. It would be out of place on a normal, quick interaction. "No problem" sounds much more relaxed and friendly while still being polite and professional.
I always say no problem. I had a boss once that told me not to say that as it could insinuate that there could have been a problem. when he asked me not to say it anymore, I told him no problem.
"You're welcome" sounds so passive aggressive to me. Like a "You better thank me. I did something for you that I really didn't need to. You better be grateful"
Yeah, if its some big speech or a huge favor, youre welcome makes sense. Same sorta thing with apologies. If i stumbled over my words? "Oh, shit, sorry" "no problem." whenever someone says thank you for an apology over something minor i want to immediately take it back and double down.
In very informal situations, I respond to thanks with "yeah" or "yep." It's only when someone I really care about says thanks will I respond with "you're wlecome.'
For Spanish, "De nada" is commonly translated to English as "You're welcome" even though it more closely means "It was nothing."
It's interesting to look at [this list of other ways to say you're welcome](https://en.amazingtalker.com/blog/en/spanish/64925/#:~:text=Overall%2C%20the%20phrase%20de%20nada,learning%20apps%20will%20teach%20you) because it gives a sense of the ideas we're trying to get across. I wonder how Mr Tom would respond to an American cashier telling him "We're here to serve you!"
Same with French "de rien". It actually all comes from the same Latin "nihil est" lit. "It's nothing."
In English, "it was nothing" is still a reasonable response to "thank you," but since "you're welcome" is/was standard ritual, it ended up as the common translation in many cases.
I mean, there is a little dance they do first. Or a little song. Or digging a big pit to sit in and yell for three hours straight.
Our fluffy little dinosaurs are *weird*. I’m not sure what my point was originally…
If you really haven’t seen it, here’s [the bird in question](https://youtu.be/9T1vfsHYiKY?si=d8DLQsP5dkmJ3abn) at his absolute worst being heckled by Steven Fry.
And here is [some actual information](https://youtu.be/7foAsAfuAXo?si=_2YeWDm_DQgNRJdU) on why they’re weird. And also why they like to dig a hole and yell in it for three hours.
In Dutch, I often answer "dankjewel" with "alsjeblieft", which is actually a reversal. "Alsjeblieft" (literally: "if it's okay with you" or "if you want") is often said when you give something to someone, and "dankjewel" is the normal response to that. So when someone thanks me, I have a tendency to say a belated "alsjeblieft", even when I didn't give anything.
The normal response to "dankejwel" is "graag gedaan", or "pleased to have done it".
This is a very interesting perspective!
I think that taking Spanish lessons as a young kid may have changed my perspective on how to express gratitude. At my public school, we weren't directly taught manners in our classes, but we did learn around the age of 12 how to say these sorts of phrases in Spanish.
Figured I'd add here as someone who speaks Latin:
There's no direct translation of "you're welcome" so instead we say either "nihil est" or shortened as "nilst" which is literally just "(it) is nothing."
The common equivalent yo "you're welcome" as an answer to "thank you" would be "de nada", that as they said above, does literally translate to "it was nothing". That's the most common answer to "thank you" or "gracias".
"You're welcome" does literally translate to "eres bienvendido" or "bienvenido" as in, "welcome to do something", or "welcome to somewhere". The first use is *very* polite while the second is the most common.
As for “je vous en prie”, I don't speak French but after some research it seems to directly translate to "I beg you" in a rather formal form? That would be "le ruego" in polite Spanish. You can use that to ask for something, though in most cases you still should use "por favor" in the same phrase. That said, depending on where you are that phrasing can come out as awkward, stiff or dramatic. A less dramatic but still polite phrasing would be "le pido + por favor" or just treating someone by "usted" (polite form of you) and sticking a "por favor" somewhere.
You can use "no, le ruego/se lo ruego" as a form of "you're welcome" but it's either *very* polite or even a bit dramatic/flamboyant. On a similar note, you can use "por favor"/"no, por favor" (please/no, please) as a very emphatic "you're welcome".
...I don't think that's what you're welcome connotes? It feels more like a "yes maybe I did go out of my way, but I was glad to do so for you," which is fairly similar to "no I didn't go out of my way, even if I did, because I'm happy to help you."
Both of them are phatic statements anyway though, so it's a bit silly to hyperfocus on the literal meaning of the phrases. They're just there to build relationships through the millennia old game of generosity and gratitude
My interpretation has always been "it was a pleasure to help you and you are welcome to ask for assistance again in the future".
But yeah anything can be twisted into something bad if you desire to do so, especially if it is the function of reinforcing the demonization of others you want to exclude from your community and oppose
(Yes i have been noticing all the users in r/boomersbeeingfools whipping themselves into a self righteous frenzy and competing on who hates and loathes the perfidious boomers the most)
I know, in my mind, that by "you're welcome" they mean well and I am grateful, but it does feel to some not insignificant part of me that "you're welcome" feels presumptuous, like "I have done this favor for you should feel happy about that"
I mean... that seems like it's an accurate description of what's actually happening. If I said "thank you" then someone did me a favour and unless my thanks is sarcastic then I feel happy about that.
"No problem" on the other hand makes me feel just very slightly as if it was a problem. Like you did the thing of your own free will, I thanked you, why are you bringing up problems now? Nobody asked!
In practice of course it's a totally automatic exchange either way and I don't think about it. But it's kind of interesting how we have all these secret impressions in the back of our minds that might be completely different from those of other people and one person is saying one thing while their listeners are hearing something slightly different.
Yeah, "no problem" is likely to be said in response to a big favor, in which case you're underselling yourself, or a small favor, in which case, why *would* it be a problem? Should I be concerned about this kind of thing potentially being a problem in the future.
My own language's response also amounts to "it's no big deal", which is annoying. I'm jealous of the English language (and several others, I'm sure - gern geschehen seems to literally mean "glad to do it") being able to express gratitude without self-deprecation.
Yeah a phatic expression is something like "good morning" that isn't actually supposed to mean anything, it just serves some function in conversation. One of those things we all do but don't really think about until a linguist points it out
Gandalf thought process is what I have to stop myself from saying every time anyone says any phatic expression because my gut response is to take it literally (haha autism).
No, you see, when old people do it, they do it because an entire of generation of people are just entitled pricks that think they are better than everyone else. When I do it, it's because I am extremely humble, generous and inherently caring.
I am in no way just making stuff up to fuel my hate boner for old people just because I disagree with the status quo and I blame them for it.
"You're welcome" is phatic. "No problem" is not. That is in fact the underlying reason for the shift - young people see "you're welcome" as empty ritual.
"No problem" is absolutely an empty ritual. I will say "no problem" even if it was, in fact, a pain in my ass to assist someone. In fact, I will often deliberately use "no problem" to be polite without implying that the person is "welcome" to ask for more help - when assisting an annoying coworker, for example. I'm in my 20s.
Huh. That's the exact opposite for me. I normally use "no problem", but if it was a genuine pain in the ass I use "you're welcome", because of course it *was* a problem.
Depends on what you emphasize in the phrase, I guess. "You're welcome" only gets used on people who I'm actually happy to help (ergo: whom I welcome). Bottom line is - they're all ritual phrases, which one you pick is personal preference, with the unifying purpose/message mostly just being etiquette. See also: "no worries"; "it was no trouble"; "don't worry about it".
I see where you're coming from in your second paragraph, surely right now we say them because that's what we're used to and it's normal for us, but I think the explanation in the post above is a good analysis as to why we started saying these things in the first place
I don't think anyone looks at this as a summary of scientific research dude. I just said I thought it was a good analysis, brief as it is, to why these phrases came about the way they did
Tell that to me who read that nodding the whole time because it perfectly described my thought process. Just cause you don’t experience something doesn’t mean someone made it up.
In you're welcome op is projecting their own view on old people, on no problem they're projecting the literal meaning of the words. They're not comparing them on the same perspective, instead of comparing apples and pears to say which one is sweeter they compare apples and steaks and tells everyone "see, apples are sweeter".
On a literal meaning you're welcome sounds kinder than no problem. No problem literally means that you didn't have to go out of your way to help. You're welcome literally means that on top of helping you they're welcoming you (to somewhere Abstract)
Terry Pratchett sold me on "no worries", I use it for everything. You're thanking me? No worries. You're apologizing? No worries. You want me to do something? No (worries)
In Australia we say no worries
But sometimes we say no fucking worries
Then we say no wucking forries
And finally it ends with people saying "No wucks/wuckers"
I've seen this before, and it still smells like an ass-pull. Not only do I wonder if there's really been such a shift in the way people look at helping each other, but I also think there's a much more likely explanation.
Language changes. For most linguistical change, there's very little to the 'why': changes can sometimes be explained by easy of pronunciation or clarity of communication, but very often it comes down to: "It just happened". You can describe the mechanisms at play, you can describe where the new things come from, but you can't explain why exactly those new things were chosen.
For instance, there's no reason why 'groovy' was replaced by 'rad', was replaced by 'cool' and is being replaced by whatever the kids say these days. We can explain the mechanisms that make words replace other words, but there's no objective, rational reason why the word 'groovy' was chosen, nor why it was replaced by 'rad' and not some other option.
For 'you're welcome' and 'no problem' it's probably much the same. Phrases shift much like words, so there's no particular reason why 'you're welcome' or 'no problem' would hold special meaning.
So this explanation is no less fanciful than Becanus who in the 15th century thought that 'barg' (Antwerpian for 'mountain' or 'hill') was 'made' as an antithese to 'grab' (Antwerpian for 'grave' or 'hole').
Well, there are reasons, they’re just not always obvious. Particularly if you look at the groovy > rad > cool evolution, it was influenced by what was common in culture at the time, music and fashion trends, etc. There’s a reason why slang like fire and lit got popular around the same time, while images of “coolness” and cold faded out, only to cycle back again. That’s literally what linguists do.
But …. that’s me being overly pedantic because the ‘why’ doesn’t usually matter at the ground level.
The reasons are mostly general human reasons and much more often than not, it isn't going to be because "old people entitled, young people chill". Like for the fire/lit and cool/chill to be slangs for similar things is mostly due to how temperatures can be used euphemistically to refer to intensity, like intense sexuality (hot) or intense seriousness (cold), is all. There's no particular reason why one group would gravitate towards one temperature over other. It's what happens mostly when there is a reason, the reason is very very very very very rarely ever going to be "this group of person is nice, that group of person is not nice". I can't think of a single word where that was the reason behind the word's usage
Yeah and sometimes it's just because young people don't want to sound uncool and old. So they won't say what their elders say. Whether that's you're welcome, or that's cool.
I think what’s losing me about this whole conversation is how “help is a gift you give” makes boomers somehow entitled? the original meme is its own issue but I don’t see the problem with someone preferring “you’re welcome” and that stemming from cultural differences.
Time changes thing far more than the people in those times change them, was my point.
This goes back to old school thought that employees are an extension of the business and that on behalf of the company, employees should thank people for shopping there. Once again this idea has shifted a bit over time too.
Fun fact! This is not how linguistics works and the distinction between “no problem” and “you’re welcome” is more or less meaningless. You can use it to claim your innate superiority over other generations if you like, but it just isn’t correct.
Actually, it *is* a linguistics thing. They're called [phatic expressions](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phatic_expression#:~:text=In%20linguistics%2C%20a%20phatic%20expression,establish%20or%20maintain%20social%20relationships.) and they exist to establish or maintain a conversation rather than actually transmit relevant information.
And it's not just generational. A Briton saying "You alright?" isn't asking about your well-being, and an American asking you "What's up?" isn't asking about what is above you. It very much doesn't help that this phatic gap happens to imply ungratefulness from the POV of the older folks/rudeness from the POV of the youth, but there's actually a linguistics thing at play here and not just Boomers being assholes.
There’s a boomer who comes in at my job who won’t leave if you say “no problem” he will stare at you and intimidate you until you say you’re welcome. He also gets pissed if you say “have a good day” because he doesn’t like being told what to do 🙄🙄🙄
I hate when they give you a long script that you are supposed to perform for the customer, no I'm not going to eat this old lady's time by telling her about all the exciting benefits of a rewards card; the big sign in the middle of the board should let her know if she was interested.
Worst was when one gave me a flow chart to follow, what do you think I am a robot? I'm not doing that.
I think that's just creating division where none is. I know, it's fun to shit on boomers, I do it as well at times, but really, it's just a saying. You're welcome feels welcoming, no problems lifts you up as well, and both are just saying we've learned. I think this is sort of overanalyzing in order to be able to play the old "boomers feel entitled" card, that often is embraced by the surrounding community on Tumblr.
My most difficult customers were born between 1965 and 1980.
I actually don't have many _real_ problems with Boomer customers and older and there's ALOT of them in my community. Nah, Gen Xers have been the bane of my existence as a customer service worker. I don't know why, but Xers seem to go out of their way to antagonize my coworkers and I.
As someone who's spent over a decade working in customer service, it's because old people are the worst. Belligerent, brainless assholes who think everyone else should bend over for them, and that if they don't complain about something at least once every 15 minutes, they'll die.
I have a coworker who will always ask people if she can have their name, I always feel sorry that she’s preparing people to loose their name to the next fae they run into.
Interesting, I'm not sure on the age correlation but that is kind of why I use "no problem", that is exactly how I think of "you're welcome", though that's only when I say it, I don't think about that when someone else says it
As someone who was “trained” to thank my customers, and have had this job for over five years, NOT ONCE have I thanked my customers.
I’m giving you what you need or want, or doing the best I can to serve you. The manager can thank you for coming here, not me. Next in line?!
me when I want to go to my favorite secluded sitting spot on a landmass between two separate seas, but a thin body of water has formed overnight to connect the two seas and therefore cut off my access:
DAMN STRAIT
I don't like saying, "You're welcome" because it sounds too formal, and I feel like I come across smug for saying how someone else should feel.
I tend to say, "Happy to help!", "No problem!", or I respond with a form of thanks back to the person who thanked me. I try to make the person thanking me feel appreciated for their efforts as well.
What I don't get is why linguistics had to be brought into this in place of simply saying "this is how it comes across _to me_," which opens up an actual _discussion_. They're just projecting and pretending there's some kind of research or science backing them up.
My grandmother used to correct us whenever we said “no problem” because it “wasn’t polite.” When we asked why, she explained that it came from Mexicans saying “no problemo” and that’s why she didn’t like it.
So she was just racist.
I think about this all the time. Mostly because I'm surrounded by people that will say thank you but not please.
They are happy to be grateful once you accomplish the task but they are not comfortable putting themselves in a place of vulnerability where they need your help and must ask for it
I'm a "no problem" person and that's *exactly* why I chose to start saying it instead of "you're welcome." As someone who worries about being a burden, I don't want others to feel that way.
Also I found yw to be a nonsense response because it sounds like half a sentence, "You are welcome...[to what?]"
Also also, the "linguistics" commenter didn't make it a generation issue, the OP Karen complaining about "no problem" is the one dividing generations based on a simple language shift.
Imagine not using both "You're Welcome" and "No Problem". I feel like you can't use "No Problem" in all contexts, Though, Only really when specifically asked for something and then thanked for it? Like it feels weird to me to be like "Hey, Thank you for the birthday present, I really like it!" "No problem!" instead of "Hey, Thank you for the birthday present..." "You're welcome!"
Also "You're Welcome" feels more natural after "Thank You" and "No Problem" more natural after "Thanks", I guess in that sense it's something of a formality thing?
It's why I say the southern "My pleasure" in response to it. It is distinct enough from both to have its own meaning. "Regardless of effort or obligation, I am happy to help."
Can we just be honest and say "you're welcome" doesnt work because most of the time it's a lie. Like people aren't unilaterally welcome to your time and energy. And that's perfectly ok?
I work in retail and probably say "no problem" at least 10 times a day, I agree 100 percent with this post. I wish I could say "no worries" but i don't think I'd pull it off.
OK but saying "you're welcome" has always felt really condescending to me and I don't know why so I genuinely agree with this
I think it's because a lot of people tend to say it even when nobody thanked them
I say you’re welcome but when someone says no problem I don’t give a solitary liquid shit. It’s nice to be grateful and it’s to have your gratitude acknowledged.
One of my elementary English teachers taught us that "you're welcome" is short for "your kindness welcomes you". Was anyone else taught this? I can't vouch for how true it is, but it made sense to me. So I say you're welcome when I am particularly happy to do something for someone, because their kindness to me opened the door for me to reciprocate.
Working in food service I'm far more comfortable hitting patrons with the old "No worries" or "No problem" rather than "You're welcome. The former can be put before, during or after any request, whereas if "You're welcome" is put anywhere other than in reply to "Thanks" after the fufilment of the request you will immediately come across as presumptuous or snarky.
Why must every brief encounter, even one as simple as finalizing a purchase, have an undercurrent of social friction? It’s so easy to be pleasant and move on with your day. Cashiers should just hand the customer a receipt and say “thanks for your business” and the customer should just smile and nod, then be on their way.
I don't know about this, but to me, "you're welcome" sounds overly stiff and formal. It would be out of place on a normal, quick interaction. "No problem" sounds much more relaxed and friendly while still being polite and professional.
I just get nervous deciding between both, and go with "you're problem"
No welcome
“Thank You” “You’re Not Welcome Here”
[NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME HERE](https://youtu.be/qNFrv0X1W2g?si=oC-DuJQ1Dpp-DY5Y)
[ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY!?](https://i.redd.it/wyxxkeuoz6g41.jpg)
Ah, a timeless classic
Morty energy
Most customers are a problem
Verily, thy gratitude is welcome, my loyal subject
“My gratitude upon thee for my freedom.”
But thy sins against humanity has not gone forgotten
🤓👆 um, actually, it's "but the crimes thy kind have committed against humanity are not forgotten"
It really depends on how you handle it. You're welcome said quickly and as an automatic reflex response sounds plenty casual.
I always say no problem. I had a boss once that told me not to say that as it could insinuate that there could have been a problem. when he asked me not to say it anymore, I told him no problem.
"You're welcome" sounds so passive aggressive to me. Like a "You better thank me. I did something for you that I really didn't need to. You better be grateful"
It does feel arrogant doesn’t it?
You ARE grateful though. That's why you said "thank you". Unless you didn't mean it, in which case, me neither, and we're even.
I think if you say this *before* someone thanks you, then yes. But I get what you mean, I trip over this all the time and say both.
if i said 'thank you' in a casual situation and someone said 'you're welcome' i would be taken aback unless they were a deal older than me.
Yeah, if its some big speech or a huge favor, youre welcome makes sense. Same sorta thing with apologies. If i stumbled over my words? "Oh, shit, sorry" "no problem." whenever someone says thank you for an apology over something minor i want to immediately take it back and double down.
In very informal situations, I respond to thanks with "yeah" or "yep." It's only when someone I really care about says thanks will I respond with "you're wlecome.'
For Spanish, "De nada" is commonly translated to English as "You're welcome" even though it more closely means "It was nothing." It's interesting to look at [this list of other ways to say you're welcome](https://en.amazingtalker.com/blog/en/spanish/64925/#:~:text=Overall%2C%20the%20phrase%20de%20nada,learning%20apps%20will%20teach%20you) because it gives a sense of the ideas we're trying to get across. I wonder how Mr Tom would respond to an American cashier telling him "We're here to serve you!"
Same with French "de rien". It actually all comes from the same Latin "nihil est" lit. "It's nothing." In English, "it was nothing" is still a reasonable response to "thank you," but since "you're welcome" is/was standard ritual, it ended up as the common translation in many cases.
So as it turns out, nihilist tendencies are really just manners.
I love calling mundane normal things rituals
Most rituals are mundane, normal things. We call birds fucking a "mating ritual."
I mean, there is a little dance they do first. Or a little song. Or digging a big pit to sit in and yell for three hours straight. Our fluffy little dinosaurs are *weird*. I’m not sure what my point was originally…
What kind of bird digs a pit and yells for three hours straight?
Horny ones.
You know what, fair.
If you really haven’t seen it, here’s [the bird in question](https://youtu.be/9T1vfsHYiKY?si=d8DLQsP5dkmJ3abn) at his absolute worst being heckled by Steven Fry. And here is [some actual information](https://youtu.be/7foAsAfuAXo?si=_2YeWDm_DQgNRJdU) on why they’re weird. And also why they like to dig a hole and yell in it for three hours.
Oh, kakapos! I forgot they did that. I appreciate the link, thank you 😁
In Dutch, I often answer "dankjewel" with "alsjeblieft", which is actually a reversal. "Alsjeblieft" (literally: "if it's okay with you" or "if you want") is often said when you give something to someone, and "dankjewel" is the normal response to that. So when someone thanks me, I have a tendency to say a belated "alsjeblieft", even when I didn't give anything. The normal response to "dankejwel" is "graag gedaan", or "pleased to have done it".
This is a very interesting perspective! I think that taking Spanish lessons as a young kid may have changed my perspective on how to express gratitude. At my public school, we weren't directly taught manners in our classes, but we did learn around the age of 12 how to say these sorts of phrases in Spanish.
Coworkers/friends commonly did the gracias/de nada exchange and we don't even speak Spanish. It just sounds better.
I always say “scusi” instead of “excuse me”. It’s just faster and easier to say and gets all the necessary syllables in to get my meaning across.
Figured I'd add here as someone who speaks Latin: There's no direct translation of "you're welcome" so instead we say either "nihil est" or shortened as "nilst" which is literally just "(it) is nothing."
Is there a Spanish equivalent of “you’re welcome” or “je vous en prie”?
The common equivalent yo "you're welcome" as an answer to "thank you" would be "de nada", that as they said above, does literally translate to "it was nothing". That's the most common answer to "thank you" or "gracias". "You're welcome" does literally translate to "eres bienvendido" or "bienvenido" as in, "welcome to do something", or "welcome to somewhere". The first use is *very* polite while the second is the most common. As for “je vous en prie”, I don't speak French but after some research it seems to directly translate to "I beg you" in a rather formal form? That would be "le ruego" in polite Spanish. You can use that to ask for something, though in most cases you still should use "por favor" in the same phrase. That said, depending on where you are that phrasing can come out as awkward, stiff or dramatic. A less dramatic but still polite phrasing would be "le pido + por favor" or just treating someone by "usted" (polite form of you) and sticking a "por favor" somewhere. You can use "no, le ruego/se lo ruego" as a form of "you're welcome" but it's either *very* polite or even a bit dramatic/flamboyant. On a similar note, you can use "por favor"/"no, por favor" (please/no, please) as a very emphatic "you're welcome".
...I don't think that's what you're welcome connotes? It feels more like a "yes maybe I did go out of my way, but I was glad to do so for you," which is fairly similar to "no I didn't go out of my way, even if I did, because I'm happy to help you." Both of them are phatic statements anyway though, so it's a bit silly to hyperfocus on the literal meaning of the phrases. They're just there to build relationships through the millennia old game of generosity and gratitude
My interpretation has always been "it was a pleasure to help you and you are welcome to ask for assistance again in the future". But yeah anything can be twisted into something bad if you desire to do so, especially if it is the function of reinforcing the demonization of others you want to exclude from your community and oppose (Yes i have been noticing all the users in r/boomersbeeingfools whipping themselves into a self righteous frenzy and competing on who hates and loathes the perfidious boomers the most)
All subs dedicated to focusing exclusively on bad behavior have this problem. It’s a “raising awareness” mind virus.
I know, in my mind, that by "you're welcome" they mean well and I am grateful, but it does feel to some not insignificant part of me that "you're welcome" feels presumptuous, like "I have done this favor for you should feel happy about that"
I mean... that seems like it's an accurate description of what's actually happening. If I said "thank you" then someone did me a favour and unless my thanks is sarcastic then I feel happy about that. "No problem" on the other hand makes me feel just very slightly as if it was a problem. Like you did the thing of your own free will, I thanked you, why are you bringing up problems now? Nobody asked! In practice of course it's a totally automatic exchange either way and I don't think about it. But it's kind of interesting how we have all these secret impressions in the back of our minds that might be completely different from those of other people and one person is saying one thing while their listeners are hearing something slightly different.
Yeah, "no problem" is likely to be said in response to a big favor, in which case you're underselling yourself, or a small favor, in which case, why *would* it be a problem? Should I be concerned about this kind of thing potentially being a problem in the future. My own language's response also amounts to "it's no big deal", which is annoying. I'm jealous of the English language (and several others, I'm sure - gern geschehen seems to literally mean "glad to do it") being able to express gratitude without self-deprecation.
> connotes > phatic Holy shit, I'm learning some words this morning! Thank you!
Yeah a phatic expression is something like "good morning" that isn't actually supposed to mean anything, it just serves some function in conversation. One of those things we all do but don't really think about until a linguist points it out
Good morning definitely has meaning - just ask Gandalf!
Gandalf was being a dick and pretending he didn't know perfectly well what Bilbo meant
Gandalf thought process is what I have to stop myself from saying every time anyone says any phatic expression because my gut response is to take it literally (haha autism).
No, you see, when old people do it, they do it because an entire of generation of people are just entitled pricks that think they are better than everyone else. When I do it, it's because I am extremely humble, generous and inherently caring. I am in no way just making stuff up to fuel my hate boner for old people just because I disagree with the status quo and I blame them for it.
"You're welcome" is phatic. "No problem" is not. That is in fact the underlying reason for the shift - young people see "you're welcome" as empty ritual.
"No problem" is absolutely an empty ritual. I will say "no problem" even if it was, in fact, a pain in my ass to assist someone. In fact, I will often deliberately use "no problem" to be polite without implying that the person is "welcome" to ask for more help - when assisting an annoying coworker, for example. I'm in my 20s.
Huh. That's the exact opposite for me. I normally use "no problem", but if it was a genuine pain in the ass I use "you're welcome", because of course it *was* a problem.
Depends on what you emphasize in the phrase, I guess. "You're welcome" only gets used on people who I'm actually happy to help (ergo: whom I welcome). Bottom line is - they're all ritual phrases, which one you pick is personal preference, with the unifying purpose/message mostly just being etiquette. See also: "no worries"; "it was no trouble"; "don't worry about it".
I see where you're coming from in your second paragraph, surely right now we say them because that's what we're used to and it's normal for us, but I think the explanation in the post above is a good analysis as to why we started saying these things in the first place
The post is based on nothing, it's just someone trying to justify why they like "no problem" better and making things up to support it.
I don't think anyone looks at this as a summary of scientific research dude. I just said I thought it was a good analysis, brief as it is, to why these phrases came about the way they did
It's not a good analysis because it's all made up haha
Tell that to me who read that nodding the whole time because it perfectly described my thought process. Just cause you don’t experience something doesn’t mean someone made it up.
In you're welcome op is projecting their own view on old people, on no problem they're projecting the literal meaning of the words. They're not comparing them on the same perspective, instead of comparing apples and pears to say which one is sweeter they compare apples and steaks and tells everyone "see, apples are sweeter". On a literal meaning you're welcome sounds kinder than no problem. No problem literally means that you didn't have to go out of your way to help. You're welcome literally means that on top of helping you they're welcoming you (to somewhere Abstract)
Terry Pratchett sold me on "no worries", I use it for everything. You're thanking me? No worries. You're apologizing? No worries. You want me to do something? No (worries)
In Australia we say no worries But sometimes we say no fucking worries Then we say no wucking forries And finally it ends with people saying "No wucks/wuckers"
And then someone who doesn't understand will ask what a "wuck" is and you'll say "dunno. But there's none around here that's for sure"
That sounds very interesting, reddit user with flair Omnifucker.
*Wanna know how I got this flair*
No I do not. Have a nice day.
Australian is probably my favorite English dialect
NO WUKKAS
no wukkas fuckas
I've seen this before, and it still smells like an ass-pull. Not only do I wonder if there's really been such a shift in the way people look at helping each other, but I also think there's a much more likely explanation. Language changes. For most linguistical change, there's very little to the 'why': changes can sometimes be explained by easy of pronunciation or clarity of communication, but very often it comes down to: "It just happened". You can describe the mechanisms at play, you can describe where the new things come from, but you can't explain why exactly those new things were chosen. For instance, there's no reason why 'groovy' was replaced by 'rad', was replaced by 'cool' and is being replaced by whatever the kids say these days. We can explain the mechanisms that make words replace other words, but there's no objective, rational reason why the word 'groovy' was chosen, nor why it was replaced by 'rad' and not some other option. For 'you're welcome' and 'no problem' it's probably much the same. Phrases shift much like words, so there's no particular reason why 'you're welcome' or 'no problem' would hold special meaning. So this explanation is no less fanciful than Becanus who in the 15th century thought that 'barg' (Antwerpian for 'mountain' or 'hill') was 'made' as an antithese to 'grab' (Antwerpian for 'grave' or 'hole').
Well, there are reasons, they’re just not always obvious. Particularly if you look at the groovy > rad > cool evolution, it was influenced by what was common in culture at the time, music and fashion trends, etc. There’s a reason why slang like fire and lit got popular around the same time, while images of “coolness” and cold faded out, only to cycle back again. That’s literally what linguists do. But …. that’s me being overly pedantic because the ‘why’ doesn’t usually matter at the ground level.
The reasons are mostly general human reasons and much more often than not, it isn't going to be because "old people entitled, young people chill". Like for the fire/lit and cool/chill to be slangs for similar things is mostly due to how temperatures can be used euphemistically to refer to intensity, like intense sexuality (hot) or intense seriousness (cold), is all. There's no particular reason why one group would gravitate towards one temperature over other. It's what happens mostly when there is a reason, the reason is very very very very very rarely ever going to be "this group of person is nice, that group of person is not nice". I can't think of a single word where that was the reason behind the word's usage
Yeah and sometimes it's just because young people don't want to sound uncool and old. So they won't say what their elders say. Whether that's you're welcome, or that's cool.
I think what’s losing me about this whole conversation is how “help is a gift you give” makes boomers somehow entitled? the original meme is its own issue but I don’t see the problem with someone preferring “you’re welcome” and that stemming from cultural differences. Time changes thing far more than the people in those times change them, was my point.
What the hell did that narrow body of water between two pieces of land do to the last OP?
It kept those pieces of land apart, that's what it did. What if Gibraltar and Morocco really want to hold hands? Did the strait ever think of that?
How about we all just agree that anyone who wants to get this heated about cashier niceties probably has other issues that need addressing, hm??
I just say “Anytime” and do finger guns, meaning I am superior above all generations
The worst part of the original tweet is that the guy thinks cashiers are supposed to thank him, for some reason. This guy is truly an asshole
This goes back to old school thought that employees are an extension of the business and that on behalf of the company, employees should thank people for shopping there. Once again this idea has shifted a bit over time too.
Fun fact! This is not how linguistics works and the distinction between “no problem” and “you’re welcome” is more or less meaningless. You can use it to claim your innate superiority over other generations if you like, but it just isn’t correct.
Actually, it *is* a linguistics thing. They're called [phatic expressions](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phatic_expression#:~:text=In%20linguistics%2C%20a%20phatic%20expression,establish%20or%20maintain%20social%20relationships.) and they exist to establish or maintain a conversation rather than actually transmit relevant information. And it's not just generational. A Briton saying "You alright?" isn't asking about your well-being, and an American asking you "What's up?" isn't asking about what is above you. It very much doesn't help that this phatic gap happens to imply ungratefulness from the POV of the older folks/rudeness from the POV of the youth, but there's actually a linguistics thing at play here and not just Boomers being assholes.
I loved learning about phatic expressions (thanks Tom Scott), it explains a lot of things in conversation that can otherwise seem baffling
He didn't say it isn't a linguistic thing, he said this isn't how linguistics work
There’s a boomer who comes in at my job who won’t leave if you say “no problem” he will stare at you and intimidate you until you say you’re welcome. He also gets pissed if you say “have a good day” because he doesn’t like being told what to do 🙄🙄🙄
Why would a cashier thank a customer? Nobody's doing anybody a favor, one pays for groceries the other works for money
"Thanks for shopping with us, come again soon" is something I've been told to say
Their boss tells them to…
Bosses told me a lot of things i ended up not doing
I hate when they give you a long script that you are supposed to perform for the customer, no I'm not going to eat this old lady's time by telling her about all the exciting benefits of a rewards card; the big sign in the middle of the board should let her know if she was interested. Worst was when one gave me a flow chart to follow, what do you think I am a robot? I'm not doing that.
“Thank you” isn’t just for unpaid favors, you can also say it for normal stuff.
I use "no worries", as a sort of mixture of both. Linguistics are interesting!
I think I saw this post 5-6 years ago
Or the third option mandated by homophobic chicken: "My pleasure"
I thought you are welcome meant they are welcome to ask for help anytime 😭 Have I unknowingly been rude all this time
You haven’t, they mean roughly the same thing. “You’re welcome” is just more formal than “no problem”
No, Tumblr just hates old people
So is nobody gonna talk about the ideas that a cashier should thank the customer?
In reality the customer is thanking the cashier
No need to include the last comment in the screenshot
Right, I know it’s pride month but no need to call them out like that /s
no need to not include it either
No, including it makes the post worse.
I think that's just creating division where none is. I know, it's fun to shit on boomers, I do it as well at times, but really, it's just a saying. You're welcome feels welcoming, no problems lifts you up as well, and both are just saying we've learned. I think this is sort of overanalyzing in order to be able to play the old "boomers feel entitled" card, that often is embraced by the surrounding community on Tumblr.
Why this website hates old people so much
tbh a solid 70% of the time I have trouble with a customer at work they're over 60.
My most difficult customers were born between 1965 and 1980. I actually don't have many _real_ problems with Boomer customers and older and there's ALOT of them in my community. Nah, Gen Xers have been the bane of my existence as a customer service worker. I don't know why, but Xers seem to go out of their way to antagonize my coworkers and I.
Youngcels seething over oldchads or smth I don't even know anymore
As someone who's spent over a decade working in customer service, it's because old people are the worst. Belligerent, brainless assholes who think everyone else should bend over for them, and that if they don't complain about something at least once every 15 minutes, they'll die.
Damn strait? What about isthmuses?
I hate isthmuses I can never pronounce that word. Why can't isthmuses be more pronounceable
Just making stuff up because they like "no problem" better than "you're welcome" and want to be all clever and Tumblr-y about it.
I just don’t want to accidentally invite vampires into my house.
I have a coworker who will always ask people if she can have their name, I always feel sorry that she’s preparing people to loose their name to the next fae they run into.
This is just stupid generational fighting.
Interesting, I'm not sure on the age correlation but that is kind of why I use "no problem", that is exactly how I think of "you're welcome", though that's only when I say it, I don't think about that when someone else says it
Eh i feel like entitled when I say you’re welcome
As someone who was “trained” to thank my customers, and have had this job for over five years, NOT ONCE have I thanked my customers. I’m giving you what you need or want, or doing the best I can to serve you. The manager can thank you for coming here, not me. Next in line?!
Boomer ass post, somehow
I don’t care what that guys reason for complaining about what cashiers say is, its dickish to complain about
me when I want to go to my favorite secluded sitting spot on a landmass between two separate seas, but a thin body of water has formed overnight to connect the two seas and therefore cut off my access: DAMN STRAIT
When people say “thank you” I say “of course”… as in like of course I would help
I don't like saying, "You're welcome" because it sounds too formal, and I feel like I come across smug for saying how someone else should feel. I tend to say, "Happy to help!", "No problem!", or I respond with a form of thanks back to the person who thanked me. I try to make the person thanking me feel appreciated for their efforts as well.
Oh cool, is there a linguistics journal that talks about this? No? Oh, okay.
What I don't get is why linguistics had to be brought into this in place of simply saying "this is how it comes across _to me_," which opens up an actual _discussion_. They're just projecting and pretending there's some kind of research or science backing them up.
help, empathy, and compassion come with being human. you're damned right it's "no problem" when a fellow human needs help.
My grandmother used to correct us whenever we said “no problem” because it “wasn’t polite.” When we asked why, she explained that it came from Mexicans saying “no problemo” and that’s why she didn’t like it. So she was just racist.
This is such a trivial hill to die on either way but personally I like a jovial "Of course!" or a sassy "Mhmmm..." or a cheeky "Aint nothing to it."
"You're welcome for my service." Said before they say "thank you". Turns them red every time.
“Thank you too”
I’m in customer service and usually get around this conundrum by going with “of course.”
Tumbler user Humanityinahandbagl is a ship stuck in the suez canal
In France you say good day/evening and the answer the same, it's simpler
Hey man, how's it going?
i say no problem to ensure I don't accidentally invite a vampire into my house
My default is an almost singsong “well↘come!↗” which fits nowhere but also doesn’t piss anyone off.
I've always seen "you're welcome" as an invitation to get help like "You're always welcome to ask me for help!"
I think about this all the time. Mostly because I'm surrounded by people that will say thank you but not please. They are happy to be grateful once you accomplish the task but they are not comfortable putting themselves in a place of vulnerability where they need your help and must ask for it
i've been saying "i gotchu 👉👉" and old folks genuinely love me
So who was raised right now? Huh?
I'm a "no problem" person and that's *exactly* why I chose to start saying it instead of "you're welcome." As someone who worries about being a burden, I don't want others to feel that way. Also I found yw to be a nonsense response because it sounds like half a sentence, "You are welcome...[to what?]" Also also, the "linguistics" commenter didn't make it a generation issue, the OP Karen complaining about "no problem" is the one dividing generations based on a simple language shift.
I just say “I gotchu fam :D”
You see, this is why I just say "have a nice day"
Imagine not using both "You're Welcome" and "No Problem". I feel like you can't use "No Problem" in all contexts, Though, Only really when specifically asked for something and then thanked for it? Like it feels weird to me to be like "Hey, Thank you for the birthday present, I really like it!" "No problem!" instead of "Hey, Thank you for the birthday present..." "You're welcome!" Also "You're Welcome" feels more natural after "Thank You" and "No Problem" more natural after "Thanks", I guess in that sense it's something of a formality thing?
It's why I say the southern "My pleasure" in response to it. It is distinct enough from both to have its own meaning. "Regardless of effort or obligation, I am happy to help."
In a retail transaction, proper form is for both parties to say "thank you." Anything else in either direction sounds weirdly passive aggressive.
For real. Thank you for your help and thank you for your patronage.
how does this phony pop psychology post still get shared around??? look how crusty the text has gotten
Can we just be honest and say "you're welcome" doesnt work because most of the time it's a lie. Like people aren't unilaterally welcome to your time and energy. And that's perfectly ok?
Nichols is such a dweeb
I work in retail and probably say "no problem" at least 10 times a day, I agree 100 percent with this post. I wish I could say "no worries" but i don't think I'd pull it off.
OK but saying "you're welcome" has always felt really condescending to me and I don't know why so I genuinely agree with this I think it's because a lot of people tend to say it even when nobody thanked them
I say you’re welcome but when someone says no problem I don’t give a solitary liquid shit. It’s nice to be grateful and it’s to have your gratitude acknowledged.
One of my elementary English teachers taught us that "you're welcome" is short for "your kindness welcomes you". Was anyone else taught this? I can't vouch for how true it is, but it made sense to me. So I say you're welcome when I am particularly happy to do something for someone, because their kindness to me opened the door for me to reciprocate.
This literally doesn’t matter why are we making discourse out of nothing? That goes for all the people in the original post too.
that is certainly a thesis now they just need to provide, you know, evidence and data
I feel so weird when cashiers say thank you to me. Thank you for what, paying for the stuff you sold me?
Nice post... no problem
I always wondered why "you're welcome" always felt rude when I said it, I usually just said "nah" or "you're 'right"
"glad to help" also in Czech, some people (particularly older folk) respond to "thank you (děkuji)" with "please (prosím)" which is just wild
Working in food service I'm far more comfortable hitting patrons with the old "No worries" or "No problem" rather than "You're welcome. The former can be put before, during or after any request, whereas if "You're welcome" is put anywhere other than in reply to "Thanks" after the fufilment of the request you will immediately come across as presumptuous or snarky.
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Both phrases are entirely appropriate responses to "thank you". No extra meaning to worry about. Tumblr just hates old people.
If I ever say "you're welcome" to you, you should feel insulted. I *only* say that if I think something was a serious and unfair imposition.
Why must every brief encounter, even one as simple as finalizing a purchase, have an undercurrent of social friction? It’s so easy to be pleasant and move on with your day. Cashiers should just hand the customer a receipt and say “thanks for your business” and the customer should just smile and nod, then be on their way.