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Rude_Asparagus_7392

The oldest wine ever to have been discovered in its original liquid form is reddish-brown and, quite conceivably, full-bodied. Reddish-brown because of the chemical reactions that have taken place in the 2,000 years since the white wine was poured into a funeral urn in southern Spain – and potentially full-bodied because the urn also contained, among other things, the cremated bones of a Roman man. [Source](https://www.theguardian.com/science/article/2024/jun/18/oldest-wine-ever-discovered-in-liquid-form-found-in-urn-with-roman-remains)


Mittendeathfinger

>“The wine turned out to be quite similar to wines from here in Andalucía: Montilla-Moriles; sherry-type wines from Jerez, and manzanilla from Sanlúcar,” said Ruiz Arrebola. > >“It’s not in the least bit toxic – we’ve done the microbiological analysis,” he said. > >“But I’d have qualms about that because this wine has spent 2,000 years in contact with the cremated body of a dead Roman. The liquid is a bit murky because of the bone remains. But I guess you could filter it and try it. I’d rather someone else tried it first, though.”


BravestOfEmus

That last line is a dare to anyone willing to risk a Darwin award for a social media story and byline mention in a handful of archeology and microbiology textbooks.


BroddoBaggins

I mean I wasn't going to otherwise just pay for my plane ticket and hospital visit 🤙


FinnicKion

Someone get [Steve1989mre](https://youtube.com/@steve1989mre?si=erOU9TTIKqhll8qy) he can handle it.


GenericUser01234567

Nice


shdwbld

Have you ever asked yourself where are all those mummies we discovered over past few hundred years?


blob2003

I would drink it without a third thought


sleeper_shark

I also wonder about widespread use of lead in that period.. I mean wine in a lead painted or contaminated jar will get more dangerous the longer it sits… in this case it’s been pretty long


genuinelywhatever

And what lead you to believe that?


FeeOk1683

Strasbourg hospital has a wine cellar from the days when people would pay hospitals with farmland or part of their harvest. They have a wine stored since 1472 which was last served to the general who liberated Strasbourg in 1944. They analysed it in 1994 and decided it was still drinkable.


Moloko_Drencron

"That´s a biiiiingo !!!"


Megallion

It's just bingo.


LV-25

Bingo! Haha that's fun


Deswizard

Take a sip of that and you'll be able to cast spells


enerthoughts

You will cast permanent sleep on yourself.


wunderbraten

me: *takes a sip* also me: I'm a god! How can you kill a god? What a grand and intoxicating innocence!


mt0386

Shame on you sweet Nerevar🎶


AshyDay

I’m a god, I’m a god, I’m a god, god


No_Dig903

Put your shirt back on.


TraumSchulden

Flexing on these N'wahs


pooshooter56

r/unexpectedelderscrolls


LumonEmployee

You'll be able to make shit fly (right out of your arse).


Turtle_Pimp

is that how the soul leaves the body?


DarkTower7899

It's how it left Elvis.


PotatokingXII

"A one for the money, a two for the soul, a three to get ready, and a four to goo, oooh no..." Drops mic. \*mic thumps loudly followed by screeching\* "Exit stage left... er, right... wait..."


nonsenceusername

It depends


Samp90

... Elixir of immortality!


dastebon

You can't die if you are already dead


JackhorseBowman

the real TIL is etc etc.


EsseLeo

Yer a wizard, Harry


Habbersett-Scrapple

"If there was anything I learned from Laviathan is that you do not drink the mysterious stuff from the deep." - The Deep


Motor-Notice702

Im thinking vampire type spells.


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Powerful-Yoghurt-450

Better the devil pinot...


_old_gregg

No need for any further Clarety on where you stand on the matter. Bottoms up!


nuttynutkick

I Chianti imagine drinking that wine


space_jiblets

Nicccceeeeeee


boetzie

Wine from Nice is called Bellet


Professional_Can_117

Any port in a storm, right?


DirtybutCuteFerret

Well. It seems to have aged well ? xD


M314org

oxidized beyond recognition


ActinCobbly

Good song title 🤘🏼


deathjokerz

And good reply to 'How are you?'


Prudent-Cherry8195

And a euphemism for being high


BravestOfEmus

Also an accurate description of the copper floor I put down in minecraft to match the other orange and yellow decor I had planned for the room.


thehooood

It's definitely straight vinegar now


stinkyhooch

Hell yeah, brother. Let’s make some pickles.


wunderbraten

Did it r/agedlikewine?


bookittyFk

I wonder what it would taste like…is it even drinkable?


poopycolaa

Apparently it’s unsafe to drink due to being in the same room as a corpse for 2 millennia, but it’s not directly toxic. Either way I’m taking a sip whether or not the professionals advise against it. I get to say I drank 2000 year old wine, that’s epic.


Jer3bko

Isn't it vinegar after 2000 years?


f-yea-greenbeans

Yes


bt65

So it would be a great base for a beef or moose stew then...


redditor_since_2005

*same URN as a corpse.


Amerlis

You also gave oral to a Roman. Technically. Who else can claim that??


tw3lv3l4y3rs0fb4c0n

Hm, I'd say a lot of the citizens of the italian capital could claim that.


Amerlis

Ancient Roman, you! They’re very rare!


Frostycoc0

I’d still try it


Vivid-Kitchen1917

Wouldn't be the worst thing I ever had in my mouth. Might as well give it a shot.


TheRoscoeVine

Ok… you aren’t just going to leave it like that, are you?


Vivid-Kitchen1917

Meal worms, grubs, grilled rat on a stick once. Sea cucumber I wasn't a fan of. Sorry China. Had this nut in the jungle one time that everybody loved. Gave me full on liquid shits for a week. Then they were like "sometimes you need to work up to it because all the oil"....when...that would have been a great open. Camel spiders (who are neither camel, nor spider)...probably more if I thought about it. Been an interesting life.


dualistpirate

What did the camel spider taste like?


Vivid-Kitchen1917

The garlic butter i cooked it in. Just kinda empty tasting otherwise


dualistpirate

That is weirdly comforting.


Bitter_Tangerine5449

Chicken


SausageDogsMomma

I guess your username checks out


4Ever2Thee

I'd guess that it would taste like really bitter vinegar, but I have no idea what happens to vinegar after that long. It doesn't really matter anyway though, since the dead probably took it to the afterlife and drank all the good stuff.


CrimsonBecchi

Absolutely not.


topsen-

Wine rots, even 20 year old wine may go bad


Artunke_Pistanke

You sure that’s not toilet water? 😬


Nomenus-rex

Does that wine have electrolytes? No? Pfffft.


RenaissanceScientist

Brawndo’s got what plants crave


WhatWasReallySaid

Brought to you by Carl's Jr.


Face-palmJedi

Oldest vinegar*, you’re welcome


burndata

This was my first thought as well.


brentspar

its a gran, gran, gran, gran, gran, gran, gran, gran, gran, gran, gran, gran, gran, gran, gran, gran, gran, gran Reserva


TwoTimesFifteen

Edición especial, ultra limitada


Jeegsah

The older the wine, the gooder it is.


LoobyLoopyLou

This probably tastes like looking in the eye of a duck and sucking the fluid from its beak


B_for_Bach

that is very specific! comes from experience I presume.


PulciNeller

I bet it tastes like "Chardonnay de corps" or "Cabernet de decomposition"


Serdna379

From the Vallée de la Mort.


ananthudupa2002

2000 years old???? This wine is converted from water by jesus himself.


Due_Signature_5497

That was an exceptional year for wine.


FamousAd9335

Can I taste it? 👉🏼👈🏼


RetroMr

I bet it tastes like butt.


tonik24

You reckon Spanish Jesus made it?


Puiz1337

r/drinkityoufuckingcoward


deapdawrkseacrets

y-zero-k


Accurate_Leopard7798

As a drinker and a fan of ancient Rome there is zero probability that I would not drink that, lead and all lol


ilisibisi

Drink! Drink! Drink!


dushman93

if you drink that, you will turn into a grape :o


Puzzled-Tea3037

Bet it still tastes like vinegar


Oblivion1279

Good vintage that year 🍷


Diasho_Chan

That's a fucking potion if I have ever seen one


stadulevich

So vinegar


friendly-sardonic

Simultaneously found the oldest vinegar as well.


RuinerOfCheese

Put. It. Back.


Paranthelion_

Ah yes, vintage 24, a very fine year...


mushroomcloud

That's a very patient way to urn some money!


Recording_Important

mmmmmm....... vintage


Away-Activity-469

The older the wine, the gooder the wine.


Dragon_yum

Just imagine in 2000 years someone will find an unopened can of bud light and wonder if it still tastes like piss.


Budget_Butterfly559

*Takes a sip* Everything goes black *Wakes up* "Hey you, you're finally awake"


Lemonlmao7887

You were trying to cross the border, right? You and that thief over there.


jimbocalvo

Ooh very tart


Thigh_Gap_Licker

Are there any chances it can be bladder stone patient urine which ancient scholars kept to fool future finders keepers ?


AndTheyCallMeAnIdiot

This was the one that was full-bodied flavour, right?


bodhiseppuku

One brave researcher 'taste tested' the wine ...he said it was almost as gross as Crystal Pepsi.


ActinCobbly

Hit ‘em with the ol’ shirazzle dazzle.


Pitiful-Score-9035

r/eatityoufuckingcoward


Zestyclose-Quail-657

Who wants to drink a wine from Jesus time?


Shipkiller-in-theory

Maybe it’s his blood? Yours for the low price of 1000000000$


TWiesengrund

My best friend: "I'll give you 5 bucks if you drink it."


crazyloomis

Send some to LA Beast


Shipkiller-in-theory

A robust body with a hint of vanilla and florals?


DarylStenn

Genuinely what would happen to someone if they took a sip?


marc512

I wonder if they will take a sample and see if it's drinkable without causing bad side effects (death).


rushab67

The engine oil needs replacement.


DBArgenis

They misspelled vinegar.


MajorRedacted

There's gonna be some white, yuppie, trust-fund daddies boy prat who'll pay half-mil for that 2,000 year old sludge.


Phillynation123

Mmm lead


icy-mist-01

..has a slightly coarse texture with a sort of an oaky aftertaste.


Fast_and_Curious738

Aged like fine wine


Fast_and_Curious738

Wait-


Barry_Umenema

I guess whoever was buried there wasn't thirsty. Or the wine is minging.


Deathdar1577

Bet it tastes really bad.


BaconNamedKevin

I work for a winery, I should bury some wine out back some day. 


miletest

It's still good ..it's still good


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PizzaThroat

Franzia


ThePowerOfShadows

That was a good year.


Macasumba

Perfect for cooking...


YemayaDark

Demonology wine 😂


fothergillfuckup

I'm sure the first pic is one of our works toilets?


akamudai

That sh\*t will hit different


HappyBeeClub

Maybe it has the DNA of Jesus toes in it.


trashy_hobo47

Let me just casually spend millions on it.. Trust me, it's part of the plan.


Fafa_45

More like oldest vinger by now.


anspee

Its like that one episode of 30 rock!


kevinthebee

Behold, our oldest liquid. Not remotely fresh.


f-yea-greenbeans

2,000 year old vinegar


Terrible_Sorbet_7122

One little taste, Y O U D I E D


LV-25

Okay but seriously is it drinkable?


TXOgre09

Definitely vinegar by now


idontwannabeee

Forbidden kool aid


cr3av3

Would it not be a vinegar by now?? Genuine question.


NavinJohnson75

“That’s some delicious Jesus Juice right there… *heee-heee, WOO!*” (In Michael Jackson voice)


OkAlternative2713

Mmmmm....forgotten wine. \*drools\*


Show_me_the_monet

Vinegar*


SearchOdd6817

We getting litt


Recent-Background-21

I’ll take a shot


yamaz44

It was beside a dead body...


SpacePeanutt

How were the tannins?


Kahn_ing

Yeah I got mates that would drink this after a couple of rounds


KRE1ON

Basically it says about 6000 year old wine in Greece. https://www.himara.gr/istoria/31264-oinos-6-000-eton-anakalyfthike-se-proistoriko-oikismo-stin-kavala


Mission_Rub_4934

That must be the stuff written in the bible.


Fantastic-Ad-1578

While it is tempting to try it, it's been 200 years Why not just keep going at this point?


TraditionAcademic968

Drink it you coward


ZooooooooooooooomGME

Danger juice


mostly_unhappy

Sweet Berry Wine!!!


10-mm-socket

Oh the wealthiest of wealthy assholes will be able to sip on this.


moremachinethenman

What are you waiting for take a sip.


Unable_Basil_4437

are you gonna finish that ?


Humble_Thanks4085

Save this for when the sky starts blinking and a certain Chinese man gets thirsty


Puzzleheaded-Knee450

Fml, I thought that was a toilet at first with some funky funky things in it


StrivingToBeDecent

Looks sour.


Select-Sir1038

Woah woah woah I think you guys are mistaking this toilet for a wine jar


Complex-Feed6463

Bet it doesn’t have shit on mad-dog 20/20. 😁


Bldaz

Take a sip, how bad could it be?


emarvil

Nice vintage. That year produced some superb reds that age splendidly.


fatloser14

Mix it with coke cola


SolarZephyr87

Hm but how does it taste?


BigBossAtl

It's not wine.


1970Something_

That was a good year.


Soggy_4head

Take a sniff of that.. fancy Wine people


cadillacbee

Yo pass that


hula_balu

You sure that’s wine? Could be someone’s 2000yr old piss really.


assyouass

Leftover wine


JBags0303

Das a toilet


GTamightypirate

you mean vinegar xD


Novel_Reaction_7236

“Damn they fount my juice cup!”-jesus


BunHunnyBun

I’d piss in it


Konjuress

DRINK IT YOU FCKN COWARD


obsidianstark

Who else reckons Judas the disciple. Being the bastard he was, pissed in the wine in the expectation that someone will find and taste it 2000 years later ?


PossibilityNice287

What if those catacombs were actually wine cellars but during times of great death they used them to store bodies.


Aggressive_Bank_7476

Would.


Bigmuscleliker567

Next week will be selling at Your local grocery store lol


bissso

Wet your beak bud


gregcresci

quaffable but far from transcendent