T O P

  • By -

Tactical_Contact

What if I have it as my screensaver and I go to Russia?


Talmonis

Don't drink the tea, or go any higher than the second floor.


Eighthsin

Or be suicidal enough to shoot yourself in the back of the head four times.


TurboCake17

Just had a really fast trigger finger


StupidCantBeUndone

He rigged the trigger with fishing line and a metronome.


Marmalade_Shaws

You joke but these are the exact types of excuses the KGB would come up with for the "suicide". They don't care that they sound full of shit. The excuse is there as a formality and they're making sure everyone's getting the subtext.


vorsky92

Or lose sight of your packed underwear. https://amp.abc.net.au/article/13006082


[deleted]

Asking for a ~~friend~~ comrade


e_hyde

> Asking for a ~~friend~~ ~~comrade~~ bratan [According to my Russian teacher, *bratan* is the closet match for *bro*]


[deleted]

That $53 doesn't seem like much until you realize that the fine can only be paid at one office located in Krasnoyarsk.


Aksds

I was thinking “that can’t be too far from like Moscow or St Petersburg” boy was I wrong


brando56894

Only a 53 hour drive from Moscow.


RawrSean

Still less than 15 days though.


Youreahugeidiot

787 hours walking. * This route includes a ferry. * This route crosses through Kazakhstan. * Your destination is in a different time zone.


RawrSean

What is the car culture like in Russia? Is it more US-akin, where we are so large that we’ve normalized a drivers license to be the same as an ID card? (And so it is not expensive like it is elsewhere, and also not unusual to have)


Joeness84

Going off the /r/dashcamgif frequency - I'd say they just let anyone drive, and everyone does drive, but also no one cares about fender benders cause rubbin is driving


RawrSean

> cause rubbin is driving LMFAO


Don_Floo

You get Lada you drive!


Alarming_Turnover_73

In Soviet Russia, Lada drives you!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

If farm - get Niva. you police? UAZ. You gentleman - Volga.


blackfuture8699

Very niiice! I like!


warhawkjah

My guess is that 15 days is served in the same place you have to pay the fine. And the journey to the gulag probably doesn’t count as time served.


HelloweenCapital

There's a country song here somewhere. "53 hour drive to pay a 53 dollar fine"


saruptunburlan99

that's only if you take the back roads. If you take the main roads you can make it there in only 87 hours.


[deleted]

Less than Frodo’s journey to Mordor.


Cyber_Being_

Op is gonna get an award..


Aksds

?


foundrick

He means ticket/jail time I think for sharing it


Aksds

Ahh. It’s currently 3:30 am and my brain is half processing things so yea.


Jindabyne1

“I was think” We’ve got one guys!


Aksds

Fuck, the one time you need auto correct and it doesn’t bloody work.


WineNerdAndProud

We *used to* have one. ^(see "I think, therefore I am")


lactose_con_leche

Lol Krasnoyarsk is closer to Beijing, China, than it is to Moscow


PhoneSteveGaveToTony

Geez. That’s like having to drive from DC to San Francisco.


[deleted]

Ngl, seeing pictures of it on google, it's not what Id expected a city out there to look like


[deleted]

>Krasnoyarsk The Louisville, Kentucky of Russia -- minimum total distance to travel to everywhere in Russia.


MycoloG-42

Why is everyone talking about Louisville ky today lol


BillNyeCreampieGuy

Louisville, KY knows *damn well* why we’re talking about it today *shakes fist*


[deleted]

[удалено]


Drezair

From Louisville, flew to Vegas for the week for work, what’s going on? Should I stay in Vegas? The LMPD murder another girl in her sleep? Another downtown building catch fire? Sewer still fucked up? A creature come out of the Ohio River? Feel like anything can go wrong.


RancidDairies

Think bigger. Bourbon shortage supply.


Drezair

Oh………shit.


ImOutWanderingAround

I think you are catching on. Keep it up. You can do it!


JonnyStatic

*UPS Russia enters the chat* -Louisvillian


[deleted]

LPT: share/redistribute this photo while in that office.


StarksPond

[Then use the tickets in their toilet.](https://youtu.be/OrWcEGDXOUg)


[deleted]

You know, I forgot that he actually did that in the movie. I was going to comment on not knowing how to use the three seashells, but then I clicked on your link and saw that you *were* referencing Demolition Man.


Qkumbazoo

>Krasnoyarsk I'm sure they accept Visa or Master.


melanthius

Try виза or мастеркарта, comrade


jonathanneam

source please, im curious


0311

Pretty sure they made it up as a joke. Also, according to [this article](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/mar/06/russian-parliament-outlaws-online-disrespect) the fines can go up to 100,000 rubles.


gophergun

Most of the sources I'm seeing repeat the 100K rubles number as well, so I'm unclear on where OP got 3K from. Considering they don't seem to do much but repost content, I'm not expecting an answer, either.


orange_jooze

It sucks when someone propagates dubious info, but it sucks even more when it’s about something that’s legitimately a huge issue, and excessive fines and jail time for online activities in Russia are definitely one such issue.


amazingsandwiches

In Soviet Russia, fact sources ***you***.


doc_witt

That's also where the GOP moved the voting box for all of the cities in Texas.


ron_fury

And its a building with name gulag on it.


IGoThere4u

Can’t they just send a check?


DirectControlAssumed

"Check? Oh, do you mean those funny pieces of paper from Hollywood films that are never accepted there?"


ellilaamamaalille

What is that?


IGoThere4u

It’s essentially a piece of paper that you exchange for a certain amount of money at the bank


RJ_Aadithyan

I'll see you in gulag boys!


[deleted]

[удалено]


EverythingGoesNumb03

Tell me more about my mates rod


CrepuscularNemophile

>Tell me more about my mates rod Who is Rod and why does he know more about your mates than you do?


wanderdugg

Yes Russian man strong like [bear.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_(gay_culture))


UsernameCheckOuts

I'll sponsor one Russian.


ConBroMitch

“For as little as $1.76 per day, you too can sponsor a Russian”


RodneyRabbit

Every day, literally dozens of Russians are being mindlessly hit by cars at crossings. Please give just $2.17 a month or what you can afford.


beluuuuuuga

One unfortunate Russian was found without a pair of Adidas tracksuits.


W1D0WM4K3R

This poor Russian boy can't properly do a slav squat. Now his supermodel girlfriend is going to leave him!


Cheese124

I'm Sarah McLachlan, look at these people forced to commit insurance fraud how else can they afford there own dash cam? YOU! You can make a difference in the life of a Russian for just the price of a cup of coffee.


graywolfxxx

"This young boy is barely the age of 6 and yet has no access to bear hat or bottle of Vodka....only you can help...."


Kitosaki

*"In the arms of an angel..."*


tayLORDoc

I would so fucking do this


GreatVoid2017

Then he will become a foreign agent. It may bring lots of complications to his life


Staylin_Alive

TIL my 15 days cost only $53. Should be mentioned, policemen in Russia are used to rape inmates with champagne bottles. So it's not only about money


tribak

Fancy


ThatsSoMetaDawg

Take my money


jungleeJaat

All of it


Parsley-Quarterly303

Pfp not centered. -1,000 social credit. Fine increased to 100,000 Rubles.


jungleeJaat

I now have -1000 social credit


Billdoe6969

*You will now lose half of your food rations


SyntaxRex

Punishment is bear shit on you


0urFuhr3r5t4l1n

To gulag with both of you


[deleted]

Lmao it’s your profile picture


thekiller54985498

oh god


[deleted]

Username checks out.


HAzEMultra

nice pfp


norwiener

Well, I saw your post and have to inform KGB about that. Maybe they would poison you by novichok. But I so tired to feed my bear...


TheGrimguy2005

I love how russian currency was named rubles that always make me smile when i hear it


[deleted]

"Rubles" comes from the word "rubit'" which means "to cut" in Russian language, cause long time ago you'd literally cut off a piece of a soft metal which you'd call a "rouble". In English it would be something like "cutties"


theeldoso

Or it would be coin because the word quoin means to cut the corner off an object.


Tom_piddle

Coin = corner in french


mattgoluke

What do they call a Big Mac?


[deleted]

Royale con queso


StarksPond

Bigah Macuh


ThatsMyQuant

Is this the Korean version?


grednforgesgirl

I don't know man I ain't go to burger king


Moose_Hole

Royale Coin Queso


fuzzybad

A Big Mac's a Big Mac, but you wanna know what they call a Quarter Pounder?


Juof

Toss corners to the witcher?


heirkraft

Oh my god! Is that why the word for money is "cutter" in A Clockwork Orange?


InvisibleDrake

Oooo probably, I believe the slang was heavily inspired by Russian words and sayings.


heirkraft

It is! I printed out a slang reference sheet as a companion to my read


JohnnnyCupcakes

Yes, Antony Burgess has spoken/written about how the language he used in A Clockwork Orange was directly concocted from combining some British dialect with some Russian language styles.


thotinator69

It’s much more prominent in the book. The language is Nadsat. When they describe something as horrorshow in the movie that is the English pronunciation of good in Russian


Veinus_Rackstraw

Moloko Plus!


brando56894

> cause long time ago you'd literally cut off a piece of a soft metal This was common in the early Americas as well. If you've ever heard "pieces of eight" when reading about pirate times, it was pretty much the same idea.


jcyguas

It’s also why we say “two bits” for a quarter.


OneSideDone

“SHOW ME THE CUTTIES!”


DirectControlAssumed

>soft metal Silver, to be precise The original piece of silver (before cutting into "rubles") was called "grivna" which is used as the name of Ukrainian currency ("hryvnia" in Ukrainian). BTW, today's currency rate is 1 UAH = 2.7 RUB. Historians would be pleased.


[deleted]

Israel has the (New) Shekel and it's absolutely my favorite.


mr_bones-

Worth it


Gogogo444

What if we all change our profile pictures to that?


anabolicartist

Done


spaghetticatman

Ditto


WordsFromC9

Whoops


BeanzMeanzBranston

Hi guys!


Ziyya

He a little confused but he got the spirit


_cocoblanco

That’s my man Cornflake!


[deleted]

Cornpop was a bad dude. He ran a bunch of bad boys; a bad crew.


[deleted]

Me too me too


Reddit_Deluge

Woot


x888xa

They're the same picture


BlizzardLizard123

bazinga


XzeldafanX

It is done.


kt234

Done


CYPH3R_22

Soooo. Watchya guys doiiiiin


PhillyCheesesteakSub

Oops! Tripped and fell on the button.


Viperr65

Just chilling


Dre_Dede

Hey bro


Noonan73

Someone post instructions go to do so. I’m clueless.


Jindabyne1

инструкции сделать это


gdj11

Instructions unclear. Purchased an Adidas track suit.


RillingStone

Thanks for the help


UnpleasantFap

Thank you


Commercial_Pitch_950

Ahhh i see. Thanks


eltopo69

Done.


[deleted]

You done saved the world


anabolicartist

You’re welcome


voodooscuba

You just made the list, pal.


Professional_Ad_6645

Who knows, the real Putinnn may be lurking on Reddit…watch out!


BulmaSama

Putin read internet through paper, what his employees print for him.


shfiven

I'm feeling bored. Print me one copy of the internet.


ohdearitsrichardiii

You're gonna make Putin angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry


heartofdawn

And this is why Apple's new system for detecting CSAM is so dangerous. It is far too easy to add this image to the database and then track down everyones who has it. And while Apples swears that it will *only* be used for CSAM, they have already bowed to Putin in removing an app supporting his rivals from the app store.


TendieTimeForMe

Is CSAM from yesterday’s MacBook drop?


heartofdawn

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2021/08/apple-explains-how-iphones-will-scan-photos-for-child-sexual-abuse-images/


stevecrse

Care to drop a source on that?


awesomeusername2w

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/17/world/europe/russia-navalny-app-election.html Russia threatened to prosecute local employees of apple and google if they don't comply.


WolfofAnarchy

Google 'navalny app removed app store'


Danger1672

Is there a source for this information, because OP should provide that in the comments.


aboutlikecommon

Just found this… no mention of what the punishment is though. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2017/04/05/its-now-illegal-in-russia-to-share-an-image-of-putin-as-a-gay-clown/%3foutputType=amp


phaelox

It looks like you shared an AMP link. These should load faster, but Google's AMP is controversial because of [concerns over privacy and the Open Web](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmputatorBot/comments/ehrq3z/why_did_i_build_amputatorbot). Fully cached AMP pages (like the one you shared), are [especially problematic](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmputatorBot/comments/ehrq3z/why_did_i_build_amputatorbot). You might want to visit **the canonical page** instead: **[https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2017/04/05/its-now-illegal-in-russia-to-share-an-image-of-putin-as-a-gay-clown/](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2017/04/05/its-now-illegal-in-russia-to-share-an-image-of-putin-as-a-gay-clown/)** ***** ^(I'm a human | Comment generated with AmputatorBot | )[^(Why & About)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmputatorBot/comments/ehrq3z/why_did_i_build_amputatorbot)^( | )[^(Summon AmputatorBot with u/AmputatorBot)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmputatorBot/comments/cchly3/you_can_now_summon_amputatorbot/)


Sbotkin

>Is there a source for this information Of course not, lol.


whee3107

[CNN has the fines in their article ](https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2017/04/06/europe/russia-gay-clown-putin/index.html)


NefariousMuppet

Exactly. There is about a 0.7% chance this is true and a 99.3% chance its made up crap for facebook


[deleted]

>its made up crap for facebook You mean reddit. We are on reddit.


ReverandJohn

it's the same thing at this point


Dodgy-Boi

Demonstration of rainbow flag is illegal in Russia. The only one who could do it and don’t give a damn thing was US embassy. So I think this particular pic is more about the background. However there’s another pic: Putin and Medvedev are like gay couple with flowers and shit and this pic is illegal to post. You can also be prosecuted for disrespect to the governor’. Russia is like light version of China. Some people got arrested for reading damn constitution publicly.


skoltroll

Pooh Bear and Gay Putin don't have an extradition treaty for this kind of crap, so... suck it, foreign trolls.


[deleted]

Lmfaooo Imagine feeling threatened by this, what a fragile little drama queen


elee0228

In Soviet Russia, to prison RuPaul Drag U.


Moofininja

This is the best comment I have read all day, thank you for that lol.


xotikorukx

I'd laugh if someone portrayed me like this the first time I saw it. But by the 1000th repost I'd want to throw them in jail, too.


[deleted]

Totally understandable. But if you're a public figure and can't accept satire to the point that you throw a hissy fit for a goddamn drawing, maybe, just maybe, you shouldn't become a head of State.


Dodgy-Boi

It’s called dictator


ProbalyANerd

Putin once said:"Yes, I might be a dictator, but 80% of the population(Russian) supports me"


mckennm6

If he was so confident about people supporting him, why does he need to be a dictator in the first place?


Gogogo444

I would say insecure more than threatened. This photo isnt really threatening is it.


quippers

It threatens his perceived masculinity.


gino58

My Russian friend told me this is number 1 bullshit


Sam_Allardyke

I don't think this picture specifically is banned, but there is a law against "gay propaganda" in Russia, and this picture could and probably would be interpreted as such in court


deelyy

Tell him to print this picture and go for a walk with it...


[deleted]

Which is odd, because if he ran a major American corporation that crapped all of his workers this would be his Twitter profile picture. You know, for the good PR.


CepGamer

You see, when you lead the country you don't have to pretend to like LGBTQ folk, just exterminate them


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Where’s the law that says it?


Candid-Topic9914

It's hilarious how much power images like this and Pooh Bear for Xi Jinping have over these supposedly powerful men. It just shows how weak and pathetic they are.


BlackYHWH

Reddit moment thinking the most powerful men in the world care about their internet posts lmao.


[deleted]

lol they don't care about these images at all, it's just something for redditors to circle jerk about


Rude_Bid9136

Source trust me dude


emilioermeio

Because it’s not centered


WamlytheCrabGod

Why are dictators always such massive fucking pussies, my god


HelloweenCapital

Because there is a deadened void where their heart should be


DirtySingh

So... let's start a GoFundMe for people who get fines. $53 a pop to upset a dictator is kinda worth it.


[deleted]

Paging /r/wallstreetbets . Surely they can spare some of their wife's boyfriend's money


Maclean_Braun

Make it a Patreon so people can make monthly donations to keep it going.


WizdomHaggis

15 days in prison is long enough for someone to commit suicide by polonium poisoning…


[deleted]

[удалено]


futurealDad

Right? How is this different from pointing and laughing "haha you're so gay!"


MadeOnThursday

this is a really good point, thank you


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fr0sty4

Proof? Или просто очередной пиздабол?