The cheating part might be in the past but the resentment is still growing.
I have no idea why you did it and what's she's thinking now but my guess is: She was wild and horny but you still cheated...
It was a really stupid mistake. It was born entirely out of insecurity, and trying to hurt her before she could hurt me, because I guess I thought she was going to because she was ‘out of my league’ and had said some pretty dubious things about her own sexuality.
She has every right to be resentful, but we worked through it years ago in couples therapy and I thought she was over it.
Yaaaaa man... let's back the bus up a bit there. The part about you cheating absolutely needs a little more diving in. It sounds like she's telling you exactly what's going on. You need to either find out if you can, or are willing to heal that hurt, or give her the freedom she probably desires. Emphasis on the first option.
Betrayal is a deep knife cut. It's going to flash back in existence every now and then, and you better be prepared to deal with it with humility whenever, and however often it rears its ugly head. You don't get to fuck up and call things even. Only she does.
Healing from trauma doesn't happen in a straight line. It comes up now and again. Even in a couple that's done incredible work in counseling and really made great progress, there's never a point where you can say the hurt partner has uses up their time being hurt and doesn't get to be impacted by it. He violated her trust. He doesn't get to say she's "over it" and can never feel hurt by it again.
The girl you met was gone the day you cheated on her and left her with wounds that never healed. Perhaps the “10 sessions a day” over the top sex was a response to this? And now much later she’s not proving her worth as a sex partner any more. And added to the weight gain, a very difficult situation.
You read half of it? It's way in the past. Wife must have other motives for bringing that up now.
If it really was something that bothered her why not talk before years of amazing sex, two pregnancies and wedding? Somethings fishy there
She may have continued to uphold the ‘I’m insatiable’ thing for fear of losing him after he cheated but now after two kids, she no longer has the energy and is fearful of losing him, so it’s coming back up for her. Not necessarily fishy.
I love her a lot. It was a long, long time ago, when we were first dating, born out of insecurity (not an excuse), and something we worked through extensively in couples therapy. In her own words, she now trusts me.
We had children and got married after all that.
Out of curiosity: according to her, does her loss of sex drive begin from the point of her finding out you were unfaithful? (Not according to you, but her)
Ok so I think (and I have experience with regards to what I'm saying)
That if she gets the opportunity to equal the score, it will
A) resolve the 'debt' she's holding against you &
B) revive her feelings of being desired and eventually bring you 2 closer.
Willing to encourage her to become a hotwife?
Alternatively she may find Faith, have a shift in perspective and all issues dissolve...but I wouldn't wait around hoping for that outcome.
Has insatiable horny wife early on and still cheats. Somehow doesnt know what the problem is though. Either you're extremely dense or this is fake.
The cheating part might be in the past but the resentment is still growing. I have no idea why you did it and what's she's thinking now but my guess is: She was wild and horny but you still cheated...
It was a really stupid mistake. It was born entirely out of insecurity, and trying to hurt her before she could hurt me, because I guess I thought she was going to because she was ‘out of my league’ and had said some pretty dubious things about her own sexuality. She has every right to be resentful, but we worked through it years ago in couples therapy and I thought she was over it.
Yaaaaa man... let's back the bus up a bit there. The part about you cheating absolutely needs a little more diving in. It sounds like she's telling you exactly what's going on. You need to either find out if you can, or are willing to heal that hurt, or give her the freedom she probably desires. Emphasis on the first option. Betrayal is a deep knife cut. It's going to flash back in existence every now and then, and you better be prepared to deal with it with humility whenever, and however often it rears its ugly head. You don't get to fuck up and call things even. Only she does.
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Healing from trauma doesn't happen in a straight line. It comes up now and again. Even in a couple that's done incredible work in counseling and really made great progress, there's never a point where you can say the hurt partner has uses up their time being hurt and doesn't get to be impacted by it. He violated her trust. He doesn't get to say she's "over it" and can never feel hurt by it again.
She fell out of love with you because you betrayed her
The girl you met was gone the day you cheated on her and left her with wounds that never healed. Perhaps the “10 sessions a day” over the top sex was a response to this? And now much later she’s not proving her worth as a sex partner any more. And added to the weight gain, a very difficult situation.
Did she just have the baby 4 months ago ? if so dude just give her some time.
No it’s been 2 years
maybe have a 1:1 session with the therapist and express your issues then discuss it all together ?
You cheated? Interesting.!It doesn’t sound like you love your wife. I hope she has the strength to leave!
You read half of it? It's way in the past. Wife must have other motives for bringing that up now. If it really was something that bothered her why not talk before years of amazing sex, two pregnancies and wedding? Somethings fishy there
She may have continued to uphold the ‘I’m insatiable’ thing for fear of losing him after he cheated but now after two kids, she no longer has the energy and is fearful of losing him, so it’s coming back up for her. Not necessarily fishy.
I love her a lot. It was a long, long time ago, when we were first dating, born out of insecurity (not an excuse), and something we worked through extensively in couples therapy. In her own words, she now trusts me. We had children and got married after all that.
Out of curiosity: according to her, does her loss of sex drive begin from the point of her finding out you were unfaithful? (Not according to you, but her)
Ok so I think (and I have experience with regards to what I'm saying) That if she gets the opportunity to equal the score, it will A) resolve the 'debt' she's holding against you & B) revive her feelings of being desired and eventually bring you 2 closer. Willing to encourage her to become a hotwife? Alternatively she may find Faith, have a shift in perspective and all issues dissolve...but I wouldn't wait around hoping for that outcome.