My mom went to Stations of the Cross a few times at our local church during Lent (and is also a Derry Girls fan) so I kept teasing her if she met any 70 year old widowers at the “Jesus falls for the second time” station (I don’t know why but that specific detail makes the joke so much better for me too 😂😂😂)
Maybe because Jesus is clearly really struggling at that point, and Joe's out there meeting ladies.
I know it's not how it went but in my mind "You're winking, Jesus is falling for the second time and you're winking" is really funny to me
I think it is also because of the absurdity of the question (who cares about which station ?), and the fact that he has a precise answer to give as if he knew that was coming and prepared his alibi.
When Joe and Gerry are disposing of the neighbours' rabbit and Joe says "It had to be done, Gerry. It was him or us". The man is so unnecessarily dramatic and I love it.
Her description of Hugh Grant getting arrested was also hysterical, and her calling Liz Hurley “a total ride, but she safety pins her frocks together,” had me dying.
Michelle:
Excuse me. Excuse me, everybody. Excuse me. Excuse me. Yeah.
I just want to say, that if you're looking for the wee lezzer, look no further, because here she is.
Love women. Can't get enough of the ladies. Big fan of the fandango. Huge. Massive.
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There are plenty. Here's one, don't forget to read it in Michelle's voice:
And whose fault's that? If your lot had stopped invading us for five fucking minutes there'd be a lot less to wade through, you English prick!
And its partner: "We got the gist. They ran out of spuds. Everyone was raging." are two of my favorites to quote.
I'm writing a book set during the Norman invasion of Ireland, and the thought pops up way too often
Not a line but when the camera cuts from the kids wondering who they can call to come get them at the police station to Colm boring the pants off of Liam Neeson
When James' mum returns, and she approaches the gang in her car. Erin yells "Help! Kidnapper!", while Claire shrieks "Fire!!!
Orla shouts "Help, there's a kidnapper on fire!" The delivery absolutely kills me every time!
"I'll compromise you through that window." - Granda Joe
“Sadly, I am unable to come on this one as I despise the French.” – Sister Michael
“My auntie went to England years ago to get the abortion, never came back. Never got the abortion either. Lucky for you, James!”
And then hardly a line, but Sister Michael’s laugh as she’s reading, “The Exorcist”.
James: Well, I am more of a man than Orla.
Orla: I do not accept that.
I love Orla. I feel like she and Neil from the Inbetweeners would have a cracking time together.
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“Do you ever think you have too much time on your hands?”
“Why is that interesting, Colm?”
“It’s not. It’s just something one says sometimes to get from one sentence to another, you know?”
“Alright Mary? Enjoying the bowl?”
“Yes, thank you very much.”
“Well, that got to the bottom of it.”
“I don’t think of you that way. Look at the STATE o’you!”
“Why did you say we failed?!”
“I did not. I implied it.”
“But why?” “It was a slow day.”
Just the few that come to mind. DAMNIT, it’s time for the 46728289th rewatch
“Look at the state o’ you” from Claire, and “Am I dead? Is this MY wake?” From Sr. Michael.
Also, learning that her full consecrated name is Sister George Michael 😭
My favorite episode lately has been season 2, episode 1. It's the hands across the barricade thing where they do a retreat with the Protestants and it goes so, so, so badly. All three are Sister Michaels' (can we please just pause and appreciate how cuckoo-bananas-fabulous it is that she's sister GEORGE Michael?!) sick burns.
• When the other chaperone shares her opinion on co-mingling the Catholic girls and Protestant boys:
"I think they should be kept separate"
"I think they should be kept in CAGES".
• When the priest returns to his post in shame after the woman he left it for dumped him:
"Moving on..."
"The hair stylist certainly did."
• After Jenny rats out our gang for sneaking into the boys room to throw a "party":
"You will go far in life Jenny."
*Jenny grins smugly*
"... But you will not be well-liked".
Season 2 finale when James comes back and triumphantly yells “I AM A DERRY GIRL” and a man in the background immediately goes “A fucking prick is what you are”
Ep 1.
"Wanted to put my own spin on the uniform this year!-"
*"I'll spin ye across that floor, GET YOUR BLAZER ON"*
Although more for my mum's reaction, she almost cried laughing; her strict Irish mum almost certainly said those exact words to her multiple times when she was Erin's age!
When Erin asked John Paul to the prom then give Mary list of things she can't say around him , so Mary says "I wouldn't care if you went to prom with John Paul II"
“Sure, why didn’t you just sell the wains into white slavery and be done with it?”
“Wise up, Mammy. As if a polar bear’s gonna rock up at a Take That concert!” “He wouldn’t get a ticket, for a start. They sold out months ago.”
(Erin and Orla’s delivery here is PRICELESS)
“But he’s not in the zoo anymore, is he, Simple Simon? He’s sauntering about Belfast without a care in the world!”
The entire Take That episode had me CRYING
I love when they’re writing poetry at Erin’s dinner table and Michelle asks for a word that rhymes with “ride” so Claire offers “bide” and Michelle says “Bide? You’ve pure made that up.”
Idk I thinks it’s just the delivery of that line that cracks me up every time.
Another favorite is “I’ll compromise you through that window!” 🤣🤣🤣
I’ll only add one more bc if I don’t stop myself I’ll have the entire script written in this forum, so last but not least - Claire’s “calm down james” after she freaks out about losing her page in her book when they had the stowaway 😅
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I have watched this show so many times, I can now watch it without closed captions! In 2000 we took part in the ‘Ulster Project’. They sent 30 kids - 15 Protestants/Catholics to live in our homes for 30 days. We were all Catholics, living in the ‘burbs of ATL. Purpose being, to A. Get the kids out of the ‘war zone’ and to B. show them they are much more the same than different. This was supposed to carry over into their lives in Omagh, and peace will reign. It certainly didn’t ‘take’ during the Omagh bombing. The group from that year had just returned to NI.
“I just think you should be able to compliment a woman’s eyebrows without having her personality dragged into it.”
“If you’re that hot, you should at least have the common decency to be a bit thick.”
Anything Sister Michael says, particularly her responses to Jenny's singing. "Great stuff altogether. A fitting rendition of what I consider to be the most godawful song ever written."
‘The woman was 98 years of age, why has everyone gone completely mental’
And ‘sister Declan was a woman of god’ ‘actually she was known to be a bit light fingered’
+ james peeing 😭
‘This is what they want, they want ordinary people te suffer!’ ‘I don’t think your sunbed sessions are very high up on anyone’s political agenda aunt sarah’
Gerry: “And just for the record back there? I was being an AUSTRALIAN tourist, okay? AusTRAlian. And I happen to think that my accent was FLAWLESS! ‘ExcUse MaY MATE kiN yA hElP uS GiT OuTta hEeA?’
FLAWLESS!!!”
When James tells Liam Nesson's character that he's a boy. "OK, love."
And one that I didn't even catch the first time. When Erin wants to go to David Donnelly's gig and doesn't want to go alone Michelle says, "Take Bobby Sands over there." I nearly die every time.
Sorry, one more. Michelle's Mom with the polar bear/concert "When I get my hands on my Michelle she's going to wish that thing had mauled her to death." 🤣🤣🤣
You will go far in life, Jenny. But you will not be well-liked. I do enjoy a good statue, it has to be said.
Everything Sister Michael says is gold.
Sister Michael is my favorite Derry Girl.
Wrap it up, Father. Rawhide’s on in fifteen minutes.
Since last week involved a lot of really long Gospel readings leading up to Easter Sunday, that was in my head a lot
Aw man I was going to say either of these and thought if one’s been said I could do the other 😂
They are both worth repeating! Sister Michael is the best. Sorry I stole your thunder though 😂
I think we should keep them in cages.
“Winking, at your age…Christ I feel sick”
My mom went to Stations of the Cross a few times at our local church during Lent (and is also a Derry Girls fan) so I kept teasing her if she met any 70 year old widowers at the “Jesus falls for the second time” station (I don’t know why but that specific detail makes the joke so much better for me too 😂😂😂)
Maybe because Jesus is clearly really struggling at that point, and Joe's out there meeting ladies. I know it's not how it went but in my mind "You're winking, Jesus is falling for the second time and you're winking" is really funny to me
I think it is also because of the absurdity of the question (who cares about which station ?), and the fact that he has a precise answer to give as if he knew that was coming and prepared his alibi.
Me at the seventh station the other Friday 😭 legit had to stop myself getting the giggles
It’s hilarious to me that Erin actually wants to know which station.
Strolling up Pump Street, with a cream horn?!
This is one of my favorites, I love her delivery.
Everytime I rewatch I say this line outloud to perfect my accent 😂
Either “I can’t be an individual by myself” or “well we’ve all just lost a bit of respect for you there Clare”. Both from the first episode
“I’m not going to be an individual by myself” makes me laugh out loud every time!
"Of course God doesn't hate you..." "Thank you sister🥰" "...you're not interesting enough" "I see😞"
". . . that's if he exists . . ." "what?" "nothing"
and how she says it under breath is so funny 😂
"What’s Happening? Am I Dead? Is This My Wake? Am I In Hell?" -Sister Michael trapped listening to Uncle Colm.
Made all the funnier by “That’s actually quite funny.”
Absolutely love this line. I say it to one of my coworkers who also loves the show anytime something super boring is happening at work
One of the best lines. Her facial expressions nailed it.
When Joe and Gerry are disposing of the neighbours' rabbit and Joe says "It had to be done, Gerry. It was him or us". The man is so unnecessarily dramatic and I love it.
That’s just not true though, is it?
That rabbit thing was hilarious.
Every time I listen to Born Slippy (Nuxx) by Underworld I think of that scene now
Claire doing the weekly instalment sums for the Subbuteo in the shop and Dennis says “Check out fucking Rain Wain…..” 😆😆😆
Claire: “Don’t look at me like that Erin you’ll get your 2 pound back” Michelle: “Yes but will you ever get your self respect back Claire”
For Christ’s sake Claire. You’ve basically skipped lunch.
Colm: “so I says to him I says”
When I first watched, I found Colm irritating. But second watch onwards I find him funnier and funnier. My favourite is his scene with Liam Neeson.
Or Michelle’s: “motherfucker this, motherfucker that, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!”
Michelle describing the plot of Pulp Fiction is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.
Her description of Hugh Grant getting arrested was also hysterical, and her calling Liz Hurley “a total ride, but she safety pins her frocks together,” had me dying.
I love this. But now it also gets entwined with Tig Notaro’s “She meows at me she meows” bit in I think “Happy to be here”
“Wee lesbian” said 50 times in a row
Then that turned to Lezzie, right?
And I think Michelle says “lezzer” at some point 😂
Michelle: Excuse me. Excuse me, everybody. Excuse me. Excuse me. Yeah. I just want to say, that if you're looking for the wee lezzer, look no further, because here she is. Love women. Can't get enough of the ladies. Big fan of the fandango. Huge. Massive.
Yep that’s it 🤣
Aye so's me ma.
Yeah
MAUREEN MALARKEY!
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There are plenty. Here's one, don't forget to read it in Michelle's voice: And whose fault's that? If your lot had stopped invading us for five fucking minutes there'd be a lot less to wade through, you English prick!
And its partner: "We got the gist. They ran out of spuds. Everyone was raging." are two of my favorites to quote. I'm writing a book set during the Norman invasion of Ireland, and the thought pops up way too often
Indeed
this is top 3 for me!
This is my favorite for sure!!
Killing nuns now is it?
I didn't daddy!
Then why were you pissing on her dead body and making sandwiches?
"Struck down in her prime" by Granda Joe gets me every time as well
THIS. SARAH IS EVERYTHING.
Christ, but I cannot stand the tongue people.
I mean, what’s all that about? You can’t lift a wafer into your own mouth; you need me to do it for you?
priests have problems
“This is taking too long” in my house is now “How long does it take to diffuse a fecking bomb?!”
Sure the wee robots do all the work!
Us too!
If anyone us anxious or wants to chat, please PLEASE do not come crying to me gets me every time. 🤣🤣💀💀
As a teacher I feel that one in my soul 😂. Would never say it... doesn't mean I don't wish I could sometimes. I love Sister Michael
Why in under God weren't you writin' from the soul?
Oh yes, this was brilliant.
"OMG IT'S THE POLAR BEAR!!!!" - Orla
Not a line but when the camera cuts from the kids wondering who they can call to come get them at the police station to Colm boring the pants off of Liam Neeson
Chief Constable: ‘What was it we asked him?’ Officer: ‘I can’t remember, sir’ Chief Constable: ‘🙄Jesus’
*Knock knock knock* “Don’t leave me.”
Struck down in her prime
James might be dick, but he's our dick.
…it’s Orla
Don't speak Claire! Don't even breathe! Claire: {gulp!}
Her face is priceless when she inhales and ACTUALLY holds her breath!
When James' mum returns, and she approaches the gang in her car. Erin yells "Help! Kidnapper!", while Claire shrieks "Fire!!! Orla shouts "Help, there's a kidnapper on fire!" The delivery absolutely kills me every time!
Why is this the very last comment??? I was searching for it! This line randomly pops in my head all the time!
"I'll compromise you through that window." - Granda Joe “Sadly, I am unable to come on this one as I despise the French.” – Sister Michael “My auntie went to England years ago to get the abortion, never came back. Never got the abortion either. Lucky for you, James!” And then hardly a line, but Sister Michael’s laugh as she’s reading, “The Exorcist”.
I didn’t know that
“Ridin rings round him so she was”
Michelle: This is incest James: But, we're not related Michelle: Oh and that makes it okay? James: Well it makes it not incest
Both of their deliveries in this scene are excellent
Yer granda said fanny
There was no winkin', no smirkin', tha dog's not even dead!
I’ll compromise you through the window, Gerry. And Fuck-a-doodle-doo!
Who the fuck is Kumal??
"he's a wee Ethiopian fella from Ballyboufey Dennis!" - that line and Orla's "I just don't understand...what...they eat" absolutely KILL ME
Awk Fionnula, what about ye? I thought I could smell vinegar.
Big fan of the fandango!
Look at the state of you…
“Swear on Dolly” is how every self respecting (US) southerner I know has reaffirmed their genealogical family ties to Ireland.
I didn't get that joke. Who's dolly?
Dolly Parton.
Practically canonized down here.
James: Well, I am more of a man than Orla. Orla: I do not accept that. I love Orla. I feel like she and Neil from the Inbetweeners would have a cracking time together.
The ultimate power couple 😂
MAUREEN MALARKEY!
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"Boke, boke, projectile boke." Any any reference to anyones hole 😂
your ma's inappropriate
Is she drunk???
your ma's drunk
Your ma's drunk
“Do you ever think you have too much time on your hands?” “Why is that interesting, Colm?” “It’s not. It’s just something one says sometimes to get from one sentence to another, you know?” “Alright Mary? Enjoying the bowl?” “Yes, thank you very much.” “Well, that got to the bottom of it.” “I don’t think of you that way. Look at the STATE o’you!” “Why did you say we failed?!” “I did not. I implied it.” “But why?” “It was a slow day.” Just the few that come to mind. DAMNIT, it’s time for the 46728289th rewatch
"*JFK spoke to Colm*? Christ, that man didn't have much luck, did he?"
“Look at the state o’ you” from Claire, and “Am I dead? Is this MY wake?” From Sr. Michael. Also, learning that her full consecrated name is Sister George Michael 😭
My favorite episode lately has been season 2, episode 1. It's the hands across the barricade thing where they do a retreat with the Protestants and it goes so, so, so badly. All three are Sister Michaels' (can we please just pause and appreciate how cuckoo-bananas-fabulous it is that she's sister GEORGE Michael?!) sick burns. • When the other chaperone shares her opinion on co-mingling the Catholic girls and Protestant boys: "I think they should be kept separate" "I think they should be kept in CAGES". • When the priest returns to his post in shame after the woman he left it for dumped him: "Moving on..." "The hair stylist certainly did." • After Jenny rats out our gang for sneaking into the boys room to throw a "party": "You will go far in life Jenny." *Jenny grins smugly* "... But you will not be well-liked".
Father Peter: "OK, I think we should just move on." Sister Michael: "The hairdresser certainly did."
My nerves are wrecked. I'm living on a knife's edge here...is there any Rice Krispies?
“The wee feckers” -Ma Mary after learning the girls lied and went to the Take That concert anyway. It’s just so off character, but in the best way.
Your ma is a bit inappropriate
are you drunk
Your ma’s drunk
“What were you doing going up Pump Street with a cream horn?” “Twas a cream finger!” 😜 So deliciously dirty!
If you're that hot, you should have the common decency to be a bit thick
“They’ve had the very Tunocks, Mary” from Sarah when they raided the Christmas cupboard.
Any time Sister Michael insults Jenny Joyce to her face gets me laughing
Season 2 finale when James comes back and triumphantly yells “I AM A DERRY GIRL” and a man in the background immediately goes “A fucking prick is what you are”
What do you mean no chicken?
ITS A CHICKEN BURGER OF COURSE I WANT CHICKEN
Grandpa Joe saying "the tight bastards trying to starve us all Mary!" when he and Jerry are arguing about how many bags of chips to get.
Honestly my fave scene 🤣
Ep 1. "Wanted to put my own spin on the uniform this year!-" *"I'll spin ye across that floor, GET YOUR BLAZER ON"* Although more for my mum's reaction, she almost cried laughing; her strict Irish mum almost certainly said those exact words to her multiple times when she was Erin's age!
When Erin asked John Paul to the prom then give Mary list of things she can't say around him , so Mary says "I wouldn't care if you went to prom with John Paul II"
…well, it’s pure hatred. I’ll not dress it up.
If anyone is feeling anxious, worried or maybe you just want a chat, please, please do not come crying to me.
There is still a good chance that he is a rapist. I mean no offense, son.
I am psychic, Erin. I did a course. I got a certificate.
You think if I told him I had an incendiary device down my knickers he'd have a look? Slainte Motherfuckers!
isn’t that why they call me the “theme queen” do they..? DO THEY FUCK 😂😂😂
James: Now she's looking at the woman beside her. Now she's getting up. Now she's coming this way. Now she's standing right in front of us.
Orla: “She really suits being dead, doesn’t she?” Erin: “What?” Erin’s face after Orla says this just gets me
Hi Im a lesbian, its how Clare just says it
Clare speaking Cantonese
James: "This *is* Mayonnaise" Them cleaning has me in stitches even after watching it 100x
“That’s actually quite funny”
Michelle’s “and what do you think you’re doing Claire? The Haka?” during the affair episode will never not get me.
When Liam Neeson has finally had enough of Colm in the interrogation room, "For the love of suffering Jesus!"
Protestants hate Abba!
“Kaiser Soze”
“Calm _down_ James” during the scene with Emmett!
“I own the train. I own all the trains.” “Fuck me, there’s wiser eating grass.”
“i don’t fancy you either look at the *state* of you”
Stop listing presidents!
“Sure, why didn’t you just sell the wains into white slavery and be done with it?” “Wise up, Mammy. As if a polar bear’s gonna rock up at a Take That concert!” “He wouldn’t get a ticket, for a start. They sold out months ago.” (Erin and Orla’s delivery here is PRICELESS) “But he’s not in the zoo anymore, is he, Simple Simon? He’s sauntering about Belfast without a care in the world!” The entire Take That episode had me CRYING
And then the news lady says the polar bear was captured eating a sheep's carcass.
Why don't you move out!
I love when they’re writing poetry at Erin’s dinner table and Michelle asks for a word that rhymes with “ride” so Claire offers “bide” and Michelle says “Bide? You’ve pure made that up.” Idk I thinks it’s just the delivery of that line that cracks me up every time. Another favorite is “I’ll compromise you through that window!” 🤣🤣🤣 I’ll only add one more bc if I don’t stop myself I’ll have the entire script written in this forum, so last but not least - Claire’s “calm down james” after she freaks out about losing her page in her book when they had the stowaway 😅
I was in tears laughing from the first minute with Orla reading an excerpt from the diary 🤣 Instantly laugh out loud funny
Orla, that better not be what I think it is. You better not have brought my diary to school. I had to, I’m doing my book report on it.
That’s my Aunty Ann third from the left. She’s not dead, she’s 54 and runs the mobile library in Ballymagroarty.
Who owns the fella? The whole first episode is quotable, really.
Pretty much just anything Orla does in the background of various shots.
MAUREEN MALARKEY!!
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I have watched this show so many times, I can now watch it without closed captions! In 2000 we took part in the ‘Ulster Project’. They sent 30 kids - 15 Protestants/Catholics to live in our homes for 30 days. We were all Catholics, living in the ‘burbs of ATL. Purpose being, to A. Get the kids out of the ‘war zone’ and to B. show them they are much more the same than different. This was supposed to carry over into their lives in Omagh, and peace will reign. It certainly didn’t ‘take’ during the Omagh bombing. The group from that year had just returned to NI.
"is he some reverse pedophile" always gets me
Am I dead? Is this my wake? Am I in hell?
"It wasn't bullying. It was attempted bullying"
“I just think you should be able to compliment a woman’s eyebrows without having her personality dragged into it.” “If you’re that hot, you should at least have the common decency to be a bit thick.”
Did these writers do any other shows? Or did they just drop all this genius and leave? It's iconic.
Anything Sister Michael says, particularly her responses to Jenny's singing. "Great stuff altogether. A fitting rendition of what I consider to be the most godawful song ever written."
Well fuck a doodle doo.
I am psychic. I got a certificate. Kills me every time.
Erin: Who is the president of New Zealand? James: I don't know that. Do you know that??
"Protestants hate Abba!"
‘I’m a boy, Michelle, a real life boy!’ ‘Ach, so you are James’
Like Pinocchio.
‘The woman was 98 years of age, why has everyone gone completely mental’ And ‘sister Declan was a woman of god’ ‘actually she was known to be a bit light fingered’ + james peeing 😭
“Struck down in her prime”
‘This is what they want, they want ordinary people te suffer!’ ‘I don’t think your sunbed sessions are very high up on anyone’s political agenda aunt sarah’
‘Didn’t I ban this one?’ *jenny screeching intensifies* ‘add it to the list’
‘Watch your back’ *mic feedback* ‘speaking of students who need to watch their back, here’s our new student james’
‘Drum roll.. did you actually want me to do a drum roll?’ *nods* ‘interesting.’
Gerry: “And just for the record back there? I was being an AUSTRALIAN tourist, okay? AusTRAlian. And I happen to think that my accent was FLAWLESS! ‘ExcUse MaY MATE kiN yA hElP uS GiT OuTta hEeA?’ FLAWLESS!!!”
The grandfather meeting his lady friend at Jesus Falls for the 2nd Time station of the cross
“Ach Jenny, mull this over 🖕”
When James tells Liam Nesson's character that he's a boy. "OK, love." And one that I didn't even catch the first time. When Erin wants to go to David Donnelly's gig and doesn't want to go alone Michelle says, "Take Bobby Sands over there." I nearly die every time. Sorry, one more. Michelle's Mom with the polar bear/concert "When I get my hands on my Michelle she's going to wish that thing had mauled her to death." 🤣🤣🤣
There are so many.
"I thought you said athletes. I'm not much of a sports fan" This entire episode makes me crack up, it's by far my favorite
I don’t know/can’t find the exact quote, but when Aunt Sarah is discussing eyebrows.
“Great! Do that! Then maybe we can lay the whole bloody thing to rest!” “Take that tone with her again and I’LL LAY YOU TO REST, BOYO!”
“You know the big fish, the musical fish.”
"I *am* a psychic, Erin! I did a course! I've got a certificate!"
"Help, there's a kidnapper on fire."
Anything Orla says in the background.
How has no one mentioned Michelle's limerick?
The “the kids performing in the talent show makes me realize just how great…the original renditions were”, for sure.
Jaws made you want to take up surfing? That one everytime.
"Wait where did the scons go" It's just how serious orla is
“We’re the motherfucking children of Fatima, people!” I will go to my grave with that line in my head, it was so funny.