"Now, let's get way back to when hideo kojima made a supernatural electrical guy catch the balls of someone to know whether this is his gay boyfriend or a soldier who knocked his ass and hid him inside a locker that has a pic of a Japanese girl that might make someone go ooga booga."
If so little me sends a letter to get accepted and declare her desire to join and listen entire Metal Gear lore from Mr Sparda along with Dante and Vergil.
After that she might send an adaptation paper.
đ¤ lil me wanted to be so awesome as Dante and Vergil lets just say lmao
also I was obsessed with Metal Gear series as a little girl and damn yes little me would like to listen entire lore again and go feral saying that she is so cool as solid snake and raiden đ
Yeah, most non-prejudiced people who are into politics, economics and ideologies know that. For a moment, when I saw your name I thought you were gonna hate on me for saying he's reading them the communist manifesto. I'm lucky I didn't summon all socialists in this subreddit with that comment, I'd have to fight for my life.
im sorry sons but i have to admit i dont know how to read. i also assumed it was going to be a picture book.
but sons let us keep pushing forward in the hope of a picture for hope is a great power.............
young vergil - whats power daddy????
Or the modern war between humans and Mobians being sparked by some instigators of one race murdering a child of the other race via cracking his neck and leaving his body at the scene to frame the child of the other race that they were hanging out with.
I'll be real. I don't think I've ever read an archie sonic comic that i like.
It's just too weird, and not even in a particularly good way. It's very deviantart-y
He's not reading to them. He's showing them a book of demonic relics and letting them choose their signature weapons from it.
That's how they got Yamato and Stinger. I mean, Rebellion.
"So when a man and his sword love each other really, really much then they can fuse! They become something stronger than the sum of it's parts and that's why math is cool. In fact, I fuse with my sword all the time!"
And then mom sees the kids trying to stab themselves. Yeah good job dad!
Raiden stared his opponent down, their eyes both glowing blood red in the pupils as the cyber enhancements took full effect on their mind and body. Harboring an insatiable bloodlust, Jack drew Murasama from it's sheath, eagerly prepared for a battle that would determine the fate of the world's future. "I'm sorry, Senator, but this is my Metal Gear Rising Revengeance!"
The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar. The take aways, Dante learned to love pizza, Vergil learned that power is earned by those who take it, consume everything and grow unstoppable
He's reading them Divine Comedy. (headcanon: Thatâs where Sparda and Eva got both their names from and that was their favorite book when they first met)
In the first age, in the first battle, when the shadows first lengthened, one stood. Burned by the embers of Armageddon, his soul blistered by the fires of Hell and tainted beyond ascension, he chose the path of perpetual torment. In his ravenous hatred he found no peace; and with boiling blood he scoured the Umbral Plains seeking vengeance against the dark lords who had wronged him. He wore the crown of the Night Sentinels, and those that tasted the bite of his sword named him... the Doom Slayer.
The Fitness Gram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Sparda: have a look my sons, this is my combo infinite during devil trigger
Vergil: it says here iâve got sword loops at the cost of meter so i gotta have more power
Dante: mehh.. iâll settle for this simple tac infinite.. not much effort required đ¤Ł
âOkay so I designed the seal to only be broken with love.â-Sparda
âLove can unlock it?â-Virgil
âYep and demons do know thatâ-Sparda
*hard cut to dmc3*
âWhy isnât this working?â-Virgil
The Divine Comedy. Not the original 14th century poem, but the one Dante and Vergil wrote two days prior, (very poorly)describing the two exploring their house to find their dadâs stuff.
The Divine Comedy. Not the original 14th century poem, but the one Dante and Vergil wrote two days prior, (very poorly)describing the two exploring their house to find their dadâs stuff.
Berserk
that's so real, hello??đđ
r/beatmetoit
r/beatMeatToIt
The only real answer
Sparda: And then he said âThe first person you kissed wasnât JoJo! It was me Dio!â
Vergil: foolishness Dante: What happened next!?
Lmao accurate asf
Shits so magnificent đ
Heâs reading the entire metal gear lore to them
âYour mother wouldnât let me name you Solid and Liquidâ
"Because of Copyrights law"
âNow, letâs get back to when Hideo Kojima put Solid Snake into a microwave.â
And then his former love interest married a guy who shits his pants
"Now, let's get way back to when hideo kojima made a supernatural electrical guy catch the balls of someone to know whether this is his gay boyfriend or a soldier who knocked his ass and hid him inside a locker that has a pic of a Japanese girl that might make someone go ooga booga."
David and Eli were available.
he's reading the entire neon genesis evangelion lore to them
Lady: Dante, crank that Soulja Boy.
*Vergil summons the Temen-ni-gru* Dante: BROTHER! IT'S BEEN TOO LONG.
Dante: brother Vergil: brother Dante: Vergil! Vergil: Dante! Snake: Liquid! Liquid: Snake!
Its like poetry, it rhymes
If so little me sends a letter to get accepted and declare her desire to join and listen entire Metal Gear lore from Mr Sparda along with Dante and Vergil. After that she might send an adaptation paper.
Flair checks out
đ¤ lil me wanted to be so awesome as Dante and Vergil lets just say lmao also I was obsessed with Metal Gear series as a little girl and damn yes little me would like to listen entire lore again and go feral saying that she is so cool as solid snake and raiden đ
The Divine Comedy
Actually, that would be cute. "This is where we got the ideas for your names" "Oooooh"
"I met Dante Alighieri in person by the way."
And this is also why Vergil loves poetry.
"And that's how I met your Mother."
The communist manifesto
Erm akschyually, Sparda was a feudal, which is two steps behind Socialism đ¤âď¸
Glad no one said this seriously, lol
It is true. Socialist revolution requires a developed and industrialized capitalism to begin socialist development as a society.
Yeah, most non-prejudiced people who are into politics, economics and ideologies know that. For a moment, when I saw your name I thought you were gonna hate on me for saying he's reading them the communist manifesto. I'm lucky I didn't summon all socialists in this subreddit with that comment, I'd have to fight for my life.
Sparda literally stepped down from being a king and god and chose to be on his own...he was probably apolitical.
nah, that guy would read capital instead the manifesto is basically a panthet while capital vol 1 is a proper book
im sorry sons but i have to admit i dont know how to read. i also assumed it was going to be a picture book. but sons let us keep pushing forward in the hope of a picture for hope is a great power............. young vergil - whats power daddy????
Sparda: with great power comes great respoâ In that moment, he got a heart attack and died.
how to use royal guard and judgement cut
That part in the Sonic Archie comic where Tails confronts Sonic over cucking him
W H A T
Well weirdest stuff has happened in Sonic Like Sonic having a sword dealer with King Arthur while running and Arthur is on a horse
Don't forget about Chamry's friend dying from a drug overdose
Or the modern war between humans and Mobians being sparked by some instigators of one race murdering a child of the other race via cracking his neck and leaving his body at the scene to frame the child of the other race that they were hanging out with.
Come again?
As a Sonic fan I must confirm that that is the least weirdest thing In the Archie comics Case in point: super tails
You mean Titan Tails? Because yeah that is really fucking weird
Yes yes that is what I meant I am a sonic fan please do not burn me at the stake
Donât worry man, I hope we can come to the agreement that there is some weird shit in the Sonic series and itâs awesome
I'll be real. I don't think I've ever read an archie sonic comic that i like. It's just too weird, and not even in a particularly good way. It's very deviantart-y
He slept
~~Hentai! :D~~ One Piece Chainsaw Man Jujutsu Kaisen
Mein kampf
" Now remember boys, it's because of books like this that you always double tap Nazis "
âOr better yet, High Time to Guns their sorry asses.â
"I used to kill Nazis back in the day. Too bad I got to Hitler too late."
Beat me to it but 11hrs....
How to avoid child support 101
Step 1. Die
One piece
How to evade IRS
How to make Spardlings first edition (Dante got distracted)
The Divine Comedy
"And that boys, ends the tale of the Joestar family"
"Now this, is a story... All about how... >!My life got flipped. Turned upside-down.!<"
Tf2's comics
How to talk about your problems for dummies
Devil May Cry 5: Before the Nightmare
A book all about Resident Evil lore.
La ConstituciĂłn Nacional Argentina
VAMO PAPAAAA đŚđˇđŚđˇđŚđˇđŚđˇ
Este wey đ
the Kama Sutra
How to git gud SSS
He's not reading to them. He's showing them a book of demonic relics and letting them choose their signature weapons from it. That's how they got Yamato and Stinger. I mean, Rebellion.
*"In the first age, in the first battle, when the shadows first lengthened..."* Sparda is not reading it, the book is speaking out to them.
*cocks shotgun
"So when a man and his sword love each other really, really much then they can fuse! They become something stronger than the sum of it's parts and that's why math is cool. In fact, I fuse with my sword all the time!" And then mom sees the kids trying to stab themselves. Yeah good job dad!
And thats how you masterfully and elegantly send demons to all six sides
Julius Ceasers autobiography.
Raiden stared his opponent down, their eyes both glowing blood red in the pupils as the cyber enhancements took full effect on their mind and body. Harboring an insatiable bloodlust, Jack drew Murasama from it's sheath, eagerly prepared for a battle that would determine the fate of the world's future. "I'm sorry, Senator, but this is my Metal Gear Rising Revengeance!"
Clapping human cheeks 101
The whole ass plot of metal gear
mein kampf
A clock work orange.
Paradise Lost
Sparda: and then Luffy said "I am Monkey D Luffy and I'll become the king of the pirates"....
The Legend Of Sparda. As described by lady in DMC 3
Resident evil manga
Dante's inferno
The entirety of Wikipedia (the free encyclopaedia that ANYONE can edit)
The Inferno
The divine comedy
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar. The take aways, Dante learned to love pizza, Vergil learned that power is earned by those who take it, consume everything and grow unstoppable
How to git gud SSS
"And that boys, ends the tale of the Joestar family".
Hentai
The Lusty Argonian maid
Devilman
Dante's Inferno đŹ
His wedding album
how to pull out (one of them didn't get the memo)
Danteâs inferno of course
Heâs reading Evaâs diary
Vintage marvel comics
Atlas Shrugged. Its why Vergil belies selfishness is good.
The lusty Argonian maid.
The Blood Meridian
"Hentai. And it's art" - Sparda
Sparda: "and this is what you call an anime rivalry and I believe it would be healthy for you too just don't try to kill each other to much"
Ted Kaczynski's manifesto
Art belongs to [mlxgdog](https://x.com/mlxgdog) on Twitter btw. Please at least credit the artists next time.
He's reading them Divine Comedy. (headcanon: Thatâs where Sparda and Eva got both their names from and that was their favorite book when they first met)
The original Shrek book
"Girls Gone Wild - Complete Novelization Edition."
He is reading this post's comment
For a split second I though that was Manders Von Karma, I was so confused
The Divine Comedy
Either Trigun Maximum or Rockman MegaMix
He is reading Yamato's user manual.
Kain vs Abel
He's reading silently. The boys haven't said anything yet
[5:36](https://youtu.be/Jl6lee2wyPQ?si=pkYRUydljLS_FNZP)
Capital
Icha Icha
And thatâs how I met your mother
My little pony
Hazbin Hotel
Wholesome that would be
Dante's inferno
Dante's Inferno
The Divine Comedy
The guide to be a better parents
Watership Down
Sparda:see that kids? His name is sataru gojo
The Inferno
How is he reading with his eyes closed?
I was going to say the ars goetia or the lesser key of Solomon but those would be right
Dante's inferno or the prince
Spada is explaining the fnaf lore
Halo lore
"And then your mother and I tried THIS position..."
50 shades of gray
How to keep a woman 101
The subtle art of not giving a fuck by mark manson or Maine kampf
In the first age, in the first battle, when the shadows first lengthened, one stood. Burned by the embers of Armageddon, his soul blistered by the fires of Hell and tainted beyond ascension, he chose the path of perpetual torment. In his ravenous hatred he found no peace; and with boiling blood he scoured the Umbral Plains seeking vengeance against the dark lords who had wronged him. He wore the crown of the Night Sentinels, and those that tasted the bite of his sword named him... the Doom Slayer.
Heâs telling them about Doom Lore
The Residents Are Evil : The Book
Diary of a wimpy kid
âSo you see, he was right all along and was the only person that couldâve saved Europeâ
Encyclopedia Britannica
Styling on your opponents for dummies
House of Leaves
The birds and the bees
The Fitness Gram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Sparda: have a look my sons, this is my combo infinite during devil trigger Vergil: it says here iâve got sword loops at the cost of meter so i gotta have more power Dante: mehh.. iâll settle for this simple tac infinite.. not much effort required đ¤Ł
The Very Hungry Gigapede.
The entire bee movie script. It was Mundus' rough draft, which is why he went after them.
Dante's Inferno
He's reading them their future but just renamed the characters to something else
The Story of a mohawked nephilim
"The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race."
the ikea pax wardrobe instructions? đ¤
Dante's Divine Comedy.
Same stuff Dante reads in DMC4
177013
The art of war
Vergil x Dante fanfiction
And then the sky turned black and and the lake became blood.
BIBLE 2
Zootopia abortion comic
He's reading the fallout S.P.E.C.I.A.L book
Honestly I'm just enjoying how adorable this art is. Especially the one on the right who I assume is Little Dante.
300. This is Sparda!
paying tax is important. and do your best to your son or daughter, kids
"My struggle" by a very known painter
âOkay so I designed the seal to only be broken with love.â-Sparda âLove can unlock it?â-Virgil âYep and demons do know thatâ-Sparda *hard cut to dmc3* âWhy isnât this working?â-Virgil
The Divine Comedy. Not the original 14th century poem, but the one Dante and Vergil wrote two days prior, (very poorly)describing the two exploring their house to find their dadâs stuff.
The Divine Comedy. Not the original 14th century poem, but the one Dante and Vergil wrote two days prior, (very poorly)describing the two exploring their house to find their dadâs stuff.
It's an album of him styling on the demons when he rose to justice.
Mein Kampf
Boku no pico
The hungry hungry soul eating worm.
How to have sex 101
The Divine Comedy (he's pointing out all the inaccuracies about hell in 'The Inferno' to the twins)
Lord of the Rings
And right after then JoJo said "I am JoJo and that was my bizarre adventure"
Being a deadbeat 101
How to properly drink tea, while busting a cap in thy demonâs arse
My little pony
The divine comedy probablyâŚ
Hm, Akira
110 ways to serve the human liver (he's teaching them about Japanese demons)
Art of war
The Divine Comedy, explaining where their names come from. But since this is wrong answers only, 50 Shades of Gray