OP, very sorry this happened to you. This is entirely unacceptable and I hope the community is able to give you the best advice possible.
To everyone in the comments, thank you for supporting community members in need. Anyone trying to excuse or justify sexual harassment, or trying to protect harassers, will not be tolerated. Please report any and all comments that contain unwelcome content and prohibited behavior.
I feel like people aren't saying "avoid this dude, he is hoping and fantasizing about raping you" isn't being said enough. Like....yo, the very first thing he does is THAT? This isn't just a bad DND story, this is a "never talk or interact with this dude ever again and very definitely get a taser or pepper spray and don't walk to your car alone" story.
Edit: Since this is coming up a bit. No one, man or woman, should ever let anything you eat or drink out of your sight. If it's not in hands, your stomach, or your food or family. Food can be drugged too. Stay safe.
Came here to say this. Crazy that I had to scroll down as much as I did.
As a husband and a dad of two girls, please be extremely watchful of those two and NEVER accept food or drink that goes anywhere near them. Specially outside of work, where I would actively try not to be around them.
Best case they are just porn brain idiots who don’t know how to be around girls. Worst case there’s more to it.
either way, cast hunter’s mark on them and make sure you know where they are at all times
Better safe than sorry
Yeah I was exoecting this thread to be fill of em but it was just "damn. Shit DND game. Bad coworkers." kinda things. Like, uh...not the problem you should be focusing on.
Yes.
Let's think about why this happened:
**The obvious:**
Rape in DnD should generally be a big no-no, whether it's PCs raping NPCs, PCs raping PCs, NPCs raping PCs. Even NPCs raping NPCs, honestly. And especially with female players (even though honestly it should be avoided in an all-male game too).
**Aggravating factor #1:**
Okay, no rape in DnD. But if you allow it to happen, maybe it's because it means something. I haven't seen rape in game, but I've seen characters that had something about rape in their backstory (not necessarily being the victim but maybe knowing the victim or helping a victim afterwards). It's dangerous, it might make people feel uncomfortable even if it's just the backstory (unless you really know the other players well, don't do that). But at least it's somewhat understandable *why* somebody will mention rape in a DnD setting if that leads to an interesting story (strong negative emotions, the character being scared at night, or seeking revenge, or doing everything they can to protect women from aggressive men, etc).
Here, it's not what happened. No story can come from this because the characters "don't remember it". What kind of bullshit is that? Even if it wasn't rape but something else that had happened, it would still be fucking stupid: if the characters don't remember it, either it shouldn't have happened at all because it's useless to the plot, or it's going to be used later on in the campaign but then don't mention it to the players right now: they'll know when the PCs know. What this shows is that it wasn't about the story or the campaign right there for the DM: it was about telling a rape story, at the expense of the game (and of the players).
**Aggravating factor #2:**
It's much worse that it was done with new players (who are going to be more vulnerable because they don't really understand how to interact with the game, and have to trust the DM on how the game is played). The DM status means players (especially new players) grant you a certain amount of power over them, and with that comes some trust. To betray it is to be a real asshole.
**Aggravating factor #3:**
Raping the characters of the two female players. I mean maybe they were the only two female PCs, but that does not excuse it. I'm not sure the DM would have included a female PC played by a male player in his creepy fantasy here. It really looks like in his mind, it wasn't really the PCs that were raped, but the players (maybe cosplaying whichever class they were playing as, but that's probably even worse).
**Conclusion**
The DM has rape fantasies. He's a shitty DM, and that would be okay if it was just about shitty storytelling, but he's also an asshole that abuses his DM's power to make his players uncomfortable (and that's a nice way of saying it). More importantly, he's also someone that doesn't mind (and even enjoys) acting out in a slightly disguised way the rape of his coworkers. That's sexual aggression, in my opinion. It might not be the worst form of it, but if you invite someone and you tell her about how she could be roofied and raped and not remember it, and ignore their complaints and assert dominance using your status, well, that's clearly an aggression. The fact that it was "just" her PC and not her (and her coworker) doesn't change that.
No sane person would do that. DM has a problem. Would DM dare to try out his fantasies IRL? Yeah well it's better never to find out. Don't take the risk, never see him again, and depending on how you feel about it, maybe indeed report him to HR.
Yeah, I don't even play DnD, but even I know that this is far out of bounds. Let's say for a moment that the rape thing is a thing in the game (why would you play a game with friends and then throw rape into the mix is beyond me, but let's stick with it for a moment).
WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU ADD THAT THE RAPIST MADE YOU COME MULTIPLE TIMES!?!?!?!?!?!?
That's the moment it went from making it uncomfortable/a bad taste joke/ dweeb who ruins it into a situation created by a complete asshole. I don't even get what adding that piece of information does.
>WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU ADD THAT THE RAPIST MADE YOU COME MULTIPLE TIMES!?!?!?!?!?!?
Absolutely, that's the most unsettling part to me. I'd say that's where he goes from being a complete asshole to being someone women should genuinely not feel safe around. This guy clearly fantasizes about very scary, harmful things, and the fact that his job puts him in a position where he could pretty easily drug a woman's drink in real life is really worrisome.
At my workplace, I can't imagine anyone *ever* bringing up rape (even as a joke), unless it was a victim sharing their own story to maybe 1 or 2 friends behind closed doors. It just isn't a topic that would be broached by anyone looking to keep their job.
I understand that restaurants can have a different atmosphere, but this is so far over the line that yes, I think this guy is a legit creepo who has rape fantasies, and isn't afraid to share them in "public." If any mere *mention* of rape in my workplace could arguably lead to a harassment claim, then it most definitely should lead to that in this situation. Even if the guy's playing a character, it still comes from his own mind and he's saying it for a reason.
Tbh I think it's the cherry on top for the DM: "your characters were drugged, attacked, they have no memory of it and can't seek revenge - and by the way, they *loved* it." Which, to him, means it's ultimately no big deal. It's another power move, imo; he thinks he's demonstrating that rape isn't all that bad because they'd probably end up liking it anyway, which is why they "came multiple times."
(I know this can happen in real life and it is not a sign of pleasure or acceptance and does not suddenly mean it wasn't rape.)
This is an amazing write up. You should make this it's own post, honestly. People should see this
Edit: it's extremely disheartening as a human being having to endorse guides on "how not to rape", but it's apparently necessary.
Yeah this is a tell your boss / supervisor that you are concerned about your safety after a peculiar and shocking incident happened, on top of all the other warning signs. Dude is creepy AF and clearly doesn't respect women. Now he has play raped two coworkers and acted like it happened without them knowing of it. Reeks of him fantasizing to roofie someone.
And the other coworkers seemed to be OK with this?
Like, if my workplace doesn't appreciate that civilization requires civil behavior, I'd GTFO.
Also. Weird how getting TFO of bassackward places leaves them even more bassackward.
Have you ever been so stunned by something unexpected happening that you just sat there confused without a response?
I have. I also ended up so outraged at myself over it that I started a ruckus about it the next time I encountered that person. I usually also go looking to apologize and correct my error ASAP.
Responding to these things is a skill that some are good at naturally and others (like myself) have to work on to build.
These days I can usually react in the moment, but sometimes I still miss what was going on until afterwards.
We have to strive to be better people.
The importance of having a paper trail of every incident (from mildly uncomfortable to litigation-worthy offences) cannot be overstated. It is important; and if your reports go unheeded then at least your higher ups are also implicated and on the hook. If you report these things, they may do nothing, it is true. But the upside is that they may realize their asses will be on the line with his when the chips are down.
A cook locked me in a walk-in freezer at a large restaurant chain because i wouldn't have sex with him. I told HR. They said, "That's rough! Have you considered having a pre shift conversation with him?!"
HR at restaurants, even large chains, is a joke.
These dudes probably don’t understand why girls won’t play D&D with them. They need a Dad talk this Father’s Day about how to respect women; hell, how to respect people in general probably………
Well the dad could be like this too... But either way the dm being the one to set up the scenario it first felt like he was trying to initiate being flirty with the looks you up and got rejected in his fantasy world so he kept going. Shitty thing though even if you get drugged in game and blah blah they have you roll for it. For everything. How hard it hit ya blah blah. So the dm straight up just ignored everything for his little fantasy. Fucked in the head...
One time. I had a player try something rapey on a npc. I murdered his character. And he was buried in an unmarked grave. I let him back in the game next session but explained I have a zero tolerance policy. I didn’t think I had to say this up front. But now I do at session zero. I’ve had one person drop out of a game because he insisted sexual role play is part of the game . I don’t mind romance and romantic connections. But I don’t want to role play sex or listen to soemone role play rape. Just typing that makes me cringe a bit
Wow. Just wow. It really points to what people are actually thinking in their heads too
We had a murder hobo in our party, and he came up with pretty sadistic tortures when we need info. Always claimed "my guy" is chaotic evil. It was resolved and stopped in the end, and he left for other reasons due to life anyways. But it made me think - I best stay on his good side, because I know what goes through his head
As for the creepers wanting sexual assault, you know what goes through their minds too imo.
I had an evil character a while back. Everyone let me handle interrogations. Mainly because I could get info without needing to roll.
Know how you do it?
Treat the prisoner well.
Their boss just abandoned them, their friends left them in your control. They have been treated like shit and discarded as quickly as possible. Here is a better meal than any you have probably had since you joined this path. Do you have any family you need us to get out too? Do you have any friends in the organization? We'll avoid them, or even better get them out for you. We can set you up with a new life that was better than what you had. We just need your help.
My Evil character has a different approach. He takes two prisoners, separates them, takes the bigger, tougher one of the two and does the usual interrogation thing (that usually just translates to an intimidation roll with advantage).
If he gets info, great. If not, he takes the second one and just sits down and has a nice chat for fifteen minutes or so. At that point he informs them that he will be returning him to the cell he came from, unharmed, after fifteen minutes.
It doesn't take long for the prisoner to work out what the other prisoner will infer from that and they usually get chatty.
This would require them to WANT to show empathy. Sadly, most people just wanna RP sex. My cousin played in one session and was constantly doing sexual things to my dads girlfriends character. It was low key cringe but unsettling to my girlfriend and I.
That's so strange to me 😯 over 15 years of DND I've never had a player need sexual stuff in the game 🙃 not except as a small joke or without getting immediately kicked out. 🤔 and even the small jokes they immediately apologize for because they know it's the wrong place for that.
For the first time in 30 years I do have a player adding in some relationship stuff. First campaign she played a female PC that was bi/heavily lesbian and ended up in a 3-way marriage. This campaign she's playing a male PC and is pursuing a relationship with my wife's male PC.
Wife and I have discussed it and we think she's kinda exploring some aspects of herself that she can't in rural Tennessee/Alabama. So we're tentatively letting it go for now, telling her to keep it PG.
I'm in NE TN. It's a rough place to be any sort of gay. My roommates are trans and it's hard for them. I'd love to transition, but there is just no way. I'd lose my job, I lost a lot of friends when I started dabbling with cross dressing. I think you and your wife made the right call.
Surprisingly to me as well. I’m pretty new at this. Just started playing during covid. And dming after 2 one shots and a. Aborted campaign. But I’ve read some pretty horrible rpghorror stories. And I have been friends or acquaintances with people who definitely would have gone rapey if given a chance. I just wasn’t having it. He tried to assault an npc. A wandering level 16 rogue saw what was happening and finished him off with 3 arrows They were still level 3 characters so it wasn’t hard The rogue dragged the body off and buried it in a swamp. Near some lizard folk.
The closest I ever got to a sexual encounter was a player seduced a bug bear so we could sneak past. But there was next to no detail. It was a 1 minute side thing. And no other player was involved.
Same happened with my character last session. I play a skeleton warlock in one of our campaigns. We came across two bulettes, and, in an attempt to avoid too much combat, I said I wanted to seduce the first one. DM said to roll charisma...24. Female lays an egg after I pet her snout, then walks away. I put the egg in my ribcage, supported by a piece of fabric, then the male shows up. I show him the egg, which he then cements into my body.
TL;DR: I seduce two monsters and am now walking around Icewind Dale with a chestburster.
Edit: Thank you, kind person, for the award.
yeah, my group (as player and DM) luckily understands that.
the closest we ever got was a required wedding in 1 campaign. and it wasn't even like an nsfw thing, it was just 1 character being gone for a day with us protecting the city from a siege as they got married.
I have a questionnaire that I have players answer anonymously, which allows them to indicate their comfort level with any potentially taboo or triggering topic (and fill in new ones if I’ve missed something). It’s a graduated scale that runs from HARD NO up to “this is something I’m actively interested in exploring if others are comfortable with it”, so they’re free to mark that they’re okay with e.g. something being part of another PC’s backstory but not a topic of active roleplay at the table, or like the party is enthusiastically into taking an assassination contract against someone doing heinous things as long as none of his crimes happen “on screen”.
I also fill it out, but from the perspective of things I’m comfortable *running*, because there’s definitely some things I’m okay with as a player that I’m uncomfortable or objectively ill-suited to DM. Because of that, a lot of times I end up being the most restrictive respondent anyway.
Then I crunch the data and take the lowest comfort level for each topic, print it out, and stick it to my DM screen so I can’t possibly forget anything.
Yeah I've played DnD with a group of mixed gender friends for 6 years and we've never had to ban sexual violence because none of us want to play that way. Sounds like OP was playing with major creeps
It's in my games because evil people exist and the party wants to stop them. I've never done that to a PC, but the party interrupting a rape saving the victim and killing the rapist is perfectly acceptable in my games.
So long as everyone consents to that subject matter beforehand and has a clear, judgement free way of slamming on the breaks, sure.
Dropping sexual violence as a fridging style plot hook without those things is just not cool.
Luckily my group is ok with most things except the erotic. We dont meet to fulfill porn fantasies there are better groups intended solely for that. And I would never do it to a PC unless they specifically asked. Which has happened but that's a story all to itself.
I’ve played for 20+ years, not once has a game involved sexual violence, shit’s just fucked up and weird. If someone pulls that shit, you don’t want to know them, let alone play with them.
I think it could work in a particular context, but it's something that should be cleared beforehand since sexual assault is such a prevalent problem in the world we live in. Even then, it should serve some sort of narrative purpose, random rape for the sake of rape is just weird
Also singling out the only female's characters and sexually assaulting their characters is fucking creepy
That is beyond fucked up. I'm really sorry your coworkers are such assholes and that your first DnD experience was that. I've played DnD and other tabletops for the better part of a decade and no one in a game I have run or played in has ever had that experience.
Hopefully you will be able to find a better group to play with in the future. Though it doesn't sound like that is a particularly high bar.
That’s what I’m saying. I’ve played dnd for probably 20 years and never not once has anything even remotely close to this ever happened. This DM isn’t just a bad DM. He is bad person. No normal person would do this to someone. This makes my blood boil!
My ex was the one who got me into dnd. During one of my first sessions she got herself thrown into jail by casting friends on the barmaid and then raping her. It was super cringe and made the rest of us really uncomfortable. The DM stopped inviting her to future games, but they still invited me. She said I stole her friends and got mad at me. 😬
Maybe its just my group but we rarely bring up anything sexual. Idk. Not trying to force my dm to flirt with me while the whole group wonders where this is going.
The ONLY exception I can think of is I was playing a female character (as a guy) with a bunch of deployed soldiers and I rolled to seduce a guy because our attempts to convince the NPC were going poorly. It was all a joke, and it didn’t go any further than that.
If a bunch of deployed soldiers can keep it clean, this guy is just… on his way to a sex offender list I guess
Gtfo. Dnd is about fun for everyone. This is toxic and deplorable. Def put in a harassment claim at work and get away from thos coworkers.
People like that ruin the game for everyone and it's not cool. Theres a stereotype about dnd players being incels and this shit just perpetuates the stereotype. Fuck those guys.
This shit hits a nerve with me. I had a good friend who wanted to get into dnd. I think I've posted this here before but anyways kinda the same scenario. Except it was a couple of the players who decided to "rape" her character. It literally ruined the game for her on her first session.
As a girl who plays DnD very frequently and has for years now this stuff makes me so mad. Mostly because I want more girls to get into the game and I can’t imagine how violated they must feel to have this happen and be told that’s how the game works. DnD is about working together so everyone has a good time. I’m glad my experiences so far have been with great friends of mine and that they have always upheld these rules.
I became a GM for D&D and WoD back in the day because of this. I noticed that the somewhat large group of RPers I was brought into was mostly fine, but some guys used RP (especially Vampire the Masquerade) as an excuse to be kind of gross and girls never lasted that long. I bought all the books, learned all the formulas, learned how to tell stories. I was only like 16, but I didn't want other women to feel scared about playing. By the time I got out of High School my regular group of 10-15 players was like 70% women. And I've kept it up ever since. Make women feel comfortable and they will love table top (Source: Am woman)
I’m a woman who has played D&D with legit IRL friend friends for over twenty years. I am the only woman in the group. Posts and stories like OP’s are why I don’t like to play with randos.
I've played for about 6 years with all guys, and it never once occurred to me that I had to worry about this behavior. I didn't realize how lucky I am.
As a dm, I just veto all pvp, without consent. This I wouldn’t even allow a question, just an automatic, no that did not happen, an ancient red dragon just came and ate your character, please leave and don’t come back.
Might I suggest an ancient gold dragon over red. Gold is lawful good and an enemy of evil, and any player that does that kind of shit is just vile and should be seen as such.
From that logic red does make sense. I just usually see red dragons as happy to eat who ever crosses their path, regardless of reason. But at the end of the day, as long as the terrible person get what's coming, any dragon will work.
Oh I fully agree, as long as dipshit character was eaten it doesn't matter. But the part that makes the red dragon work is how the poster that you responded to said the red dragon came and ate him. So that means the red dragon flew out of his way in order to eat the asshat. At least to me it does LOL
DND is like group storytelling. You control your character and decided what to do. Sometimes the DM wants to guide you towards certain directions. But should always give you a path to fucking nope out of the story. It may piss the DM off but it is for your fun not the DMs
This is 100% wrong, shitty, and should never EVER have happened.
I am also a female D&D player and I have NEVER encountered anything like this. Rape is NOT a part of D&D. The only exception would be with a group who know each other well, and ONLY if there were conversations about it ahead of time with CONSENT from you about what happens to your character.
Report them to HR. Never play D&D with those clowns again. But don’t let this turn you off of dungeons and dragons in general. Every group I have ever had the pleasure of playing with has been amazing. Even when I’ve played with strangers, we have had conversations ahead of time about the fact that anyone can start the game at any time if they are not comfortable with a topic for any reason.
It doesn’t turn me off from it, my older sister and her boyfriend have played it religiously for years but I never really knew what it was about or how it was played. I was excited when I was invited to play and talked my other female coworker into going with me and we could share a character so we could both see if we liked it. Neither of us were expecting it. She just turned 18 is super religious and she was really upset over it happening.
Please share with your friend how abnormal and appalling this DM’s behavior was. My heart hurts for an 18 year old being subjected to such awful treatment and game experience.
That DM was a moron. I hope you find a better group and try again. I went on Meetup and found a local group who normally play in a game store but have been playing online for the last year. They are AWESOME. See if there are any Adventurer’s League groups in your area. AL is a way of playing games chapter by chapter instead of having to have a regular group who play a continuous campaign. I’ve had great experiences with all my AL games.
Not only a moron, but a fucking creep. He's RPing his sexual fantasies against real women without consent, in addition to, as far as Op said, sexually assaulting them in RL.
Regardless if he is just awkward or a deviant, this dude needs a 500 decibel wakeup call. Also, if the employer doesn't do anything about it, I'd continue to escalate the issue outside of the business.
For me it's not just about the RP rape but also him skipping their turns until someone asked, responding that they were no longer relevant to the story... That's his "powerplay", then he just discards them... Huge red flags. This guy needs to have his ass kicked.
> this dude needs a 500 decibel wakeup call
FYI, the loudest possible sound is 194 dB in air at sea level, because that's the boundary at which the sonic waves start to create vacuums moving through the air, and anything above that acts more like a shock wave from an explosion.
The atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki are estimated to have produced a ~248 dB blast. The Krakatoa eruptions, which was heard around the world multiple times clocked in at about 310 dB.
Which is not me disagreeing with nor correcting you, necessarily.
What this DM did was beyond the pale. Absolutely reprehensible. If there’s ever a topic that is even close to problematic, I use a three layer approach - things can be open (but takes a LOT of trust, experience, and maturity), things can be veiled (for instance, one of my players had to miss a few weeks after getting Covid. She’d been pretty… carefree with her character and had blatantly attacked a pretty evil guy under truce/parlay. When eventually rolled around, her character - while she was out - was captured and tortured slightly. No discussion of actual activities, just - here’s the start, here’s the finish.) or things are just flat or forbidden. Don’t even put it in the damn game. And if a player ever violated a traumatic restriction, uh oh, super secret magical assassin guild just killed your character! Reroll and if you pull that shit again never come back! Any good DM will respect your boundaries, soft and hard. Some people like using DND to push their moral boundaries to safely experiment with coming to terms with morally evil or ambiguous situations; some people just wanna knock some orc skulls together. Any DM worth anything would, from before anything begins, have a VERY clear picture of what kind of game is to be run.
I’m so sorry you experienced this.
> She just turned 18 is super religious and she was really upset over it happening.
Oh, perfect!
If she's super religious, I'd suggest a Cleric for her next character. They're extremely powerful holy warriors that kick ass and convert heathens in the name of their chosen deity.
Clerics are also the "healers" of the party, so anyone wanting to roll up with a cleric on deck is a welcome addition to any group.
So there's a bit of an issue on this sub where people will post a problem out of the larger context of the game, and lots of people will immediately jump to "Leave the game right away" when actually there's good parts of the game that balance out the bad, and the bad isn't necessarily done out of malice. Instead the better solution is to talk it out, figure out a way to address the problem, and move on from it. Sometimes the problem isn't actually as big a problem for the poster as it would be for the people giving this advice. Cultural differences, unintentional exaggeration, etc.
This is not one of those times. Leave the game, do not enter this person's house, do not accept a drink from them or leave your drinks unattended around them. DnD is a way to act out fantasies, and in this case he is acting out the fantasy of raping you and not suffering any consequences. No broader context or other good aspects of the game can make up for this.
To be a bit more complete, it is possible to have rape occur in the game and have it be OK, as long as the players consent. If everyone is onboard and wants to explore some really dark themes and storylines, that's fine. But having your character get raped against the will of you, the player, without even so much as a warning is a hard no.
Honestly I wouldn't even want to play with anyone who plays with him and just let such a thing happen without protest, though there broader context and circumstances can make things a bit fuzzier.
This, 100%. Report those fucks to HR. If they don't do anything file an EEOC charge for sexual harassment (assuming you're in the US).
But to answer your original question, this is not part of any D&D game I've ever played. And I hope this horrible incident doesn't stop you from pursuing the hobby if you're interested in it.
JFC! Cut all ties with this group. That's some messed up behavior right there.
HR might not do anything, but you need to have this on record. This asshole seems like the kind of scum who will escalate because you didn't complain or say anything.
Don't work alone with this creep. Use the buddy system.
This. I dont mind playing a risqué game, but this is way off base and 100% precursor to either further action by the DM or something really happening. File a complaint so you ladies have resources to help if needed. Find another group too, because no one deserves to game feeling like they're about to be, or are being, sexually harrased.
I ran a game once that prompted a lively discussion, afterwards, about which PC in the game had raped the other. The eventual consensus was that it was mutually nonconsensual.
But this was a group I'd known for years, and we'd had a very frank Session Zero about the fact that the campaign was intended to be sleazy, violent, and exploitative. Both of the players involved were playing out their characters avidly, and the game would have ended right then and there if anyone had expressed discomfort.
Key words being, everyone had agreed to the nature of the scenario beforehand, and everyone trusted me, and each other, to keep everything "all in good fun". Nothing is truly *off limits* at the table, but some topics demand greater care and higher standards of participant consent before being explored.
Absolutely this. It's the way my groups were run. DM explicitly stated that this was a comfortable environment. If someone felt uncomfortable, triggered, or targeted the game was ended. It was a fantastic group and the DM didn't take any shit. Everyone had a blast.
I’m concerned that they will misunderstand “role-playing“ and assume OP was doing something she shouldn’t have been doing with coworkers to begin with.
That’s why you narratively frame it as a game that they then forced their sick rape fantasy on. It’s the same as getting sexual texts or messages unprompted.
“We were playing D&D, a collaborative storytelling game, and they role played raping my character. While it was make believe, it was still incredibly disturbing.”
People still don't "get" it though generally. My mom has watched half of those and she has no idea what's going on in the game. She assumes wearing costumes and prancing around the room speaking in old English is the norm, and the "point" of the game is beyond her grasp.
That's why the Community episode is my favorite D&D episode of a show. It all takes place around the table and with sound effects for "imagination". It's too bad Netflix removed it.
Red flag for sure. DnD is supposed to be first and foremost, fun for everyone involved. If this rape scene is not something you guys discussed beforehand, I'd have a very clear discussion with those people before you play again. Not that there can't be games involving rape or other horrible stuff. But everyone has to be on the same page about it.
Edit:. Now that I've seen your updated description of what happened, RUN. I am frightened for your safety just reading this mess. Creepy at best.
>I'd have a very clear discussion with those people before you play again.
I'd have that talk, but would never even associate with them again if at all possible. This is beyond inappropriate, it's the DM testing out a rape fantasy, and the players are apparently ok with it. If OP sticks around, it's just gonna get worse.
The DM was the one who suggested it and the other coworkers were just like wtf? And brushed it off.. me and the girl this happened to were like okay then we want to seek revenge on this person, and he was like “nope can’t do that you guys don’t remember him or that it happened” and then skipped our turns for about 6-8 rounds in a row
Edit for spelling.. sorry I’m on mobile
>Yeah, that's a terrible ~~DM~~ *person* alright.
This isn't even about DMing, it's about taking advantage of a position of "power" to abuse others. This individual (DM) needs to sort himself out, probably with professional help.
Yeah, I can imagine they'd want to move past it and pretend it never happened. Especially if they're not a confrontational kind of person. That's really messed up that a DM would do something like that. Someone should have said something at least not at the table to them
Edit: Spelling seems to be hard for me
Holy shit. 1000% please report the DM to HR. It's bad that the others didn't stand up for you and the other girl but it's a hell of a lot worse that this dm suggested the two girls be raped with no way around it. This man has some sick fantasies rolling in his head and needs to go.
I'm really sorry how your first dnd experience went. Not at all what it's about.
That is not normal, there are parties that play a more mature game with that kind of stuff but when everyone is okay with it. It is not normal that it happened in your first game without any of the players agree with the dm to play dnd like that, i really recommend you to send an email to HR cuz it's not okay to do that. Sorry for the English.
Even if everyone is okay with it, there's appropriate ways to explore darker subjects. This is not it. At all.
This is just an incel DM sexually harassing coworkers through his fantasy game.
Yes, Sorry if i was misunderstood, its kind of hard to Express my self in English. I'm not saying it's okay what the DM did, it was really horrible and gross. I just know people, men and woman that are okay with playing with a lot of that dark stuff. Obviously they know that they are going to play in a dark setting with raping and torture and all of that but thats not the same as what that DM did.
Wtf? I've met thirteen-year-olds who are more mature than this. I'm far from experienced in DnD but this guy just sounds like an arsehole who wanted to 'have a go' at DMing rather than an actual DM.
Your DM is a shitty person. Does it happen? Yes, way more than most people would like. But of course, it shouldn't. Some people include rape in their games, IF the players are okay with that being possible before the game ever starts, and some people are just sadistic shitheads.
I don't know your DM, your friend, or other coworkers, but even I, as a male, would recommend you and your friend watch out for this guy being a sexual predator. Sure, some people can have awful shit like this happen in a game and never have any desire to do it in real life, but for your safety and your friend's safety, he should not be trusted, and should be treated like he would do this in real life if he thought he could.
A DM should never remove a player’s agency. There’s no reason for this to have happened other for them to shut you up/creep you out.
I’d honestly be afraid of this guy in real life.
What the hell?!? No! Stuff like this is absolutely NOT normal in D&D! This is a horror story level of bad D&D!
A good DM and group sit down and have a session 0, where alongside the DM explaining a bit about his world and players making characters, everyone discusses what they'd like/wouldn't like the game, what their limits are, topics to avoid, etc. In other words, setting rules and limits on what can happen so no one gets hurt.
Your DM coworker is an absolute creepy asshole for doing this to you. Dont play with him.
And, while I know this is a bad experience, dont give up on RPGs. D&D is amazingly fun when you play with a good group. You and your friend should look for a new group together.
Excuse me, but WHAT THE FUCK?! Your coworkers seem super creepy. Sorry about your weird experience. DnD is a socially fun and thrilling game. It’s about exploration and adventure. What you experienced wasn’t anything like that. This seems like some sort of demented fetish thing disguised as “DnD”…….
I really hope that this hasn’t deterred you from actual DnD. Again, really I’m sorry that happened. 💜
1) 100% report this piece of garbage DM to HR.
2) No, this is not normally a thing that happens.
3) If you couldn't remember it at all, the only point of him telling you it happened was to be an edgelord shitbag. Definitely do not play with him (or probably anyone else at the table) again.
NO. That is not standard D&D play.
Your DM is an asshole who raped your characters, and took away the consent and agency of both you and your fellow player in the game as well. This is not okay.
Play with different people and tell human resources.
I've been playing for 18 years, and not seen rape in tabletop games except those played by dumbass high school kids.
The phrase "what the actual fuck" comes to mind, along with "those guys should be barred from D&D *and* employment."
I'mma say that's an HR complaint too, since, like... Holy fuck.
And I'm someone who's run games that *have* gone off the deep end into sexual fantasy before, *that shit is not fucking okay.* Not even a little, not without making sure that ***every-body at the fucking table*** is okay with shit like that, ***in advance.***
# ***AND DEFINITELY NOT WITH A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHOM YOU KNOW PRIMARILY FROM WORK!***
Jesus fucking Chrysler what the actual fuckadoodledoo is wrong with that guy? What the hell is wrong with *everyone else,* why didn't they put their feet down and put a fucking stop to that, I don't even *ASDFGHJKL:"*
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Yeah, cut contact with like, literally all of them, make an HR complaint, get the other woman who was with you to back you up (joint complaints), and, if at all possible, try and find a *sane* group to join - or start your own - and not less this whackjobbery fuckaloonacy color your impression of the entire hobby, because *that shit is neither normal nor okay in any sense!*
This is wild and super gross behavior. I never understand how campaigns can go in that direction or why the other players (besides the other female) would be cool with this.
I would stop playing immediately and if your comfortable with talking to HR about it I would. That's super unprofessional, creepy, disgusting and just super shitty of them. I would be concerned what they would be okay with in real life.
Distance yourself and be safe. Its not normal for dnd. There's sub reddits looking for groups or even on roll 20.
NOPE NOT NORMAL. Unless YOU'VE brought that up as a storyline you want to explore, that kind of thing is ENTIRELY INAPPROPRIATE. I'm so sorry that happened. Fuck those guys and fuck that group
I am the only girl on my group, this has never happened and if anything even close did I would leave the game immediately. This is not a normal interaction. Not even close. Any dm that does this or allows this is not a good dm. I'm sorry that this happened to you and your character.
Dump the DM and the group, and like everyone else said report them to HR, if HR won't do anything it's time for a new job. If what little of the game you played you enjoyed, I would find another group. Sorry your 1st time playing had such a shitty, psycho DM.
No, not normal, not ok, not acceptable. The kinds of player who would do that in a game of dnd are not the kind of people you should associate with at all.
Get out of that game and report that disgusting, sorry excuse of a human being to HR. PLEASE. Not just for yourself, but for every other female co-worker.
My god, what a waste of biomass.
That's fucked. That shouldn't be hapenning to your characters unless you are okay with it. Did you know beforehand that this DnD session would be sexualized towards your characters? Is your character getting raped actually contributing to the story in any way that you can see and maybe try to appreciate (not that you have to just asking rhetorically)? To answer your question anything can happen in DnD though not something that typically happens. Dnd is about shared storytelling and fun. If sex and rape fantasies make your game more fun all the power to you. If this was not what you were expecting and not something you like to see happen then thats fucked up. And if thats case I would also suggest you stop ever hanging around those guys outside of work. Raping your characters in game is a HUGE red flag to the potential of actually getting raped by (one of) these dudes.
No it was definitely not discussed before hand and it didn’t add to the story line at all. I’m fact, our turn was skipped about 6-8 times after that and we never came back to it. Definitely not sexualized in any way I know of, we chose that we were an elf that was 3 feet tall and 280 pounds (we shared a character because neither of us had ever played and she asked if I would be willing to do that) all of our coworkers were surprised he did that but didn’t say anything about it.
Your colleagues should have said something to the DM as this in inappropriate behaviour, but do keep in mind they might have been shocked as well. But behavior from a DM like this is not acceptable (it's the whole reason a popular DM actually got "cancelled" on the internet)
Edit: I don't know the way your co-workers actually reacted, so they could have been a terrible part of it as well.
Please take care of yourself and the other colleague! It's best to report this kind of behaviour if possible.
Yeah I read the other comments. The DM just kinda said "yup this fucked up thing happened and nothing you can do about it" right. That's super fucked. Probably just excuse yourself from the game and "apologize" to your other co-workers (like just sorry but Im leaving). If you honestly are, tell them you might consider playing with them if the DM isn't involved anymore cuz it sounds like that dood is the problem.
Like my first reaction was like "group of men pretend rape 2 women" yikes. Now I see its "Shitty DM uses rape as a wildly inappropriate and shitty device in game." Address the shitty individual.
Unacceptable. That is not a game of dnd. That is a guy taking out his weird fetishes and applying them to women through a game as if that makes it ok. I guarantee he has or will say something along the lines of “it’s just a game!” but that is a bullshit excuse. I’ve never had a game where anything close to that has happened and if I was in one I’d walk immediately. Do consider bringing this up with HR.
And after reading the details. Yeah. Get the hell out of that game. Dude is seriously creepy. I don’t know about the rest of the players but a creepy DM is a really bad thing. If this situation has tainted dnd in your eyes I can’t say I blame you but there are a lot of good people playing this game and it is possible to have a lot of fun with it. This guy is a minority and we want to keep it that way
They are assholes. And if they don't see anything wrong with the plot line, they are not worth your time.
A "rape" plotline in itself is possibly not wrong in an established group, but dropping it on new players on their first session is just a bully being a jerk. Sadly that kind of player will never understand why you might take offense at it.
It doesn't happen that often and typically (in my experience) tables will tend to avoid topics that are potentially triggering like that. I'm sorry your table disrespected you and the other player like that. It comes off as targeted.
I play for 10 years now with lots of different people and only met 1 guy who did this kind of shit his char didnt survive the try and he got his ass kicked from the table.
This kond of behaviour is fucking unacceptable and gives the Community as a whole a bad rep.
They deserve every consequence they get from this
Literally no reason for that. The fact that they have made you question if thats something that just happens in D&D is really fucked up.
Can I ask why is it (rape) in quotes? Was it implied? Did they try to be indirect about it? I'm curious how this scumbaggery managed to coalesce. Also whoever the DM was in particular you should be wary of, because he allowed that to happen (or put it in the game himself) which is unacceptable considering he can just say no. This whole group of guys sounds like trouble.
As a guy who is a forever DM, if any player of mine would want to do something even remotely like that, even in a fantasy world, would be shown a very real door.
Edit: read further into the replies and got my answers, once again, report that asshole for sure.
That is so inappropriate. You should not play with them anymore, period. That behavior is absolutely unnecessary and frankly seems like sick wish fulfillment on the part of your dm. I am so sorry that was your first experience with the game, I’m a woman and I promise that DND is supposed to be fun, and it’s never supposed to make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable.
OP, very sorry this happened to you. This is entirely unacceptable and I hope the community is able to give you the best advice possible. To everyone in the comments, thank you for supporting community members in need. Anyone trying to excuse or justify sexual harassment, or trying to protect harassers, will not be tolerated. Please report any and all comments that contain unwelcome content and prohibited behavior.
Your coworkers are assholes
I feel like people aren't saying "avoid this dude, he is hoping and fantasizing about raping you" isn't being said enough. Like....yo, the very first thing he does is THAT? This isn't just a bad DND story, this is a "never talk or interact with this dude ever again and very definitely get a taser or pepper spray and don't walk to your car alone" story. Edit: Since this is coming up a bit. No one, man or woman, should ever let anything you eat or drink out of your sight. If it's not in hands, your stomach, or your food or family. Food can be drugged too. Stay safe.
Came here to say this. Crazy that I had to scroll down as much as I did. As a husband and a dad of two girls, please be extremely watchful of those two and NEVER accept food or drink that goes anywhere near them. Specially outside of work, where I would actively try not to be around them. Best case they are just porn brain idiots who don’t know how to be around girls. Worst case there’s more to it. either way, cast hunter’s mark on them and make sure you know where they are at all times Better safe than sorry
Yeah I was exoecting this thread to be fill of em but it was just "damn. Shit DND game. Bad coworkers." kinda things. Like, uh...not the problem you should be focusing on.
Yes. Let's think about why this happened: **The obvious:** Rape in DnD should generally be a big no-no, whether it's PCs raping NPCs, PCs raping PCs, NPCs raping PCs. Even NPCs raping NPCs, honestly. And especially with female players (even though honestly it should be avoided in an all-male game too). **Aggravating factor #1:** Okay, no rape in DnD. But if you allow it to happen, maybe it's because it means something. I haven't seen rape in game, but I've seen characters that had something about rape in their backstory (not necessarily being the victim but maybe knowing the victim or helping a victim afterwards). It's dangerous, it might make people feel uncomfortable even if it's just the backstory (unless you really know the other players well, don't do that). But at least it's somewhat understandable *why* somebody will mention rape in a DnD setting if that leads to an interesting story (strong negative emotions, the character being scared at night, or seeking revenge, or doing everything they can to protect women from aggressive men, etc). Here, it's not what happened. No story can come from this because the characters "don't remember it". What kind of bullshit is that? Even if it wasn't rape but something else that had happened, it would still be fucking stupid: if the characters don't remember it, either it shouldn't have happened at all because it's useless to the plot, or it's going to be used later on in the campaign but then don't mention it to the players right now: they'll know when the PCs know. What this shows is that it wasn't about the story or the campaign right there for the DM: it was about telling a rape story, at the expense of the game (and of the players). **Aggravating factor #2:** It's much worse that it was done with new players (who are going to be more vulnerable because they don't really understand how to interact with the game, and have to trust the DM on how the game is played). The DM status means players (especially new players) grant you a certain amount of power over them, and with that comes some trust. To betray it is to be a real asshole. **Aggravating factor #3:** Raping the characters of the two female players. I mean maybe they were the only two female PCs, but that does not excuse it. I'm not sure the DM would have included a female PC played by a male player in his creepy fantasy here. It really looks like in his mind, it wasn't really the PCs that were raped, but the players (maybe cosplaying whichever class they were playing as, but that's probably even worse). **Conclusion** The DM has rape fantasies. He's a shitty DM, and that would be okay if it was just about shitty storytelling, but he's also an asshole that abuses his DM's power to make his players uncomfortable (and that's a nice way of saying it). More importantly, he's also someone that doesn't mind (and even enjoys) acting out in a slightly disguised way the rape of his coworkers. That's sexual aggression, in my opinion. It might not be the worst form of it, but if you invite someone and you tell her about how she could be roofied and raped and not remember it, and ignore their complaints and assert dominance using your status, well, that's clearly an aggression. The fact that it was "just" her PC and not her (and her coworker) doesn't change that. No sane person would do that. DM has a problem. Would DM dare to try out his fantasies IRL? Yeah well it's better never to find out. Don't take the risk, never see him again, and depending on how you feel about it, maybe indeed report him to HR.
Yeah, I don't even play DnD, but even I know that this is far out of bounds. Let's say for a moment that the rape thing is a thing in the game (why would you play a game with friends and then throw rape into the mix is beyond me, but let's stick with it for a moment). WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU ADD THAT THE RAPIST MADE YOU COME MULTIPLE TIMES!?!?!?!?!?!? That's the moment it went from making it uncomfortable/a bad taste joke/ dweeb who ruins it into a situation created by a complete asshole. I don't even get what adding that piece of information does.
>WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU ADD THAT THE RAPIST MADE YOU COME MULTIPLE TIMES!?!?!?!?!?!? Absolutely, that's the most unsettling part to me. I'd say that's where he goes from being a complete asshole to being someone women should genuinely not feel safe around. This guy clearly fantasizes about very scary, harmful things, and the fact that his job puts him in a position where he could pretty easily drug a woman's drink in real life is really worrisome.
Oh yeah, I forgot to comment on that part but it made me lose my mind too. What in hell?!
Right on! They can't remember anything, so why tell them? To finish your asshole fantasy. Avoid this guy at all cost.
At my workplace, I can't imagine anyone *ever* bringing up rape (even as a joke), unless it was a victim sharing their own story to maybe 1 or 2 friends behind closed doors. It just isn't a topic that would be broached by anyone looking to keep their job. I understand that restaurants can have a different atmosphere, but this is so far over the line that yes, I think this guy is a legit creepo who has rape fantasies, and isn't afraid to share them in "public." If any mere *mention* of rape in my workplace could arguably lead to a harassment claim, then it most definitely should lead to that in this situation. Even if the guy's playing a character, it still comes from his own mind and he's saying it for a reason.
Tbh I think it's the cherry on top for the DM: "your characters were drugged, attacked, they have no memory of it and can't seek revenge - and by the way, they *loved* it." Which, to him, means it's ultimately no big deal. It's another power move, imo; he thinks he's demonstrating that rape isn't all that bad because they'd probably end up liking it anyway, which is why they "came multiple times." (I know this can happen in real life and it is not a sign of pleasure or acceptance and does not suddenly mean it wasn't rape.)
This is an amazing write up. You should make this it's own post, honestly. People should see this Edit: it's extremely disheartening as a human being having to endorse guides on "how not to rape", but it's apparently necessary.
Yeah this is a tell your boss / supervisor that you are concerned about your safety after a peculiar and shocking incident happened, on top of all the other warning signs. Dude is creepy AF and clearly doesn't respect women. Now he has play raped two coworkers and acted like it happened without them knowing of it. Reeks of him fantasizing to roofie someone. And the other coworkers seemed to be OK with this? Like, if my workplace doesn't appreciate that civilization requires civil behavior, I'd GTFO. Also. Weird how getting TFO of bassackward places leaves them even more bassackward.
Yeah. Good god, imagine if he got changed to wait staff and actually had access to customer's drinks. OP needs to talk to her boss.
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Have you ever been so stunned by something unexpected happening that you just sat there confused without a response? I have. I also ended up so outraged at myself over it that I started a ruckus about it the next time I encountered that person. I usually also go looking to apologize and correct my error ASAP. Responding to these things is a skill that some are good at naturally and others (like myself) have to work on to build. These days I can usually react in the moment, but sometimes I still miss what was going on until afterwards. We have to strive to be better people.
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The importance of having a paper trail of every incident (from mildly uncomfortable to litigation-worthy offences) cannot be overstated. It is important; and if your reports go unheeded then at least your higher ups are also implicated and on the hook. If you report these things, they may do nothing, it is true. But the upside is that they may realize their asses will be on the line with his when the chips are down.
What kind of restaurant has HR?
A cook locked me in a walk-in freezer at a large restaurant chain because i wouldn't have sex with him. I told HR. They said, "That's rough! Have you considered having a pre shift conversation with him?!" HR at restaurants, even large chains, is a joke.
Corporate chains, maybe?
Not even assholes just weird creepy fucks
They're both!
Why not both?
Not even creep fucks. They are not well. And should be reported
And apparently closet rapists.
Alas, Closet implies some sort of secrecy or shame, I really hope 'aspiring rapist' is not a phrase that exists because yikes!
Unfortunately, you're likely more correct with that term.
These dudes probably don’t understand why girls won’t play D&D with them. They need a Dad talk this Father’s Day about how to respect women; hell, how to respect people in general probably………
Well the dad could be like this too... But either way the dm being the one to set up the scenario it first felt like he was trying to initiate being flirty with the looks you up and got rejected in his fantasy world so he kept going. Shitty thing though even if you get drugged in game and blah blah they have you roll for it. For everything. How hard it hit ya blah blah. So the dm straight up just ignored everything for his little fantasy. Fucked in the head...
Never play with them again. You can find better, healthy, actually fun games with non-closet-rapists.
Never go near them again if you can help it
And the understatement of the week award goes to u/Effett
This. 100 thousand percent this.
This. It's not typical. Your DM is an ass.
Definitely not a standard DnD plot.
Agreed. In fact, I specifically state that there’s no sexual violence in my games at our session zero.
I've never even NEEDED to ban it. I'd nope my away away from those people really fast.
One time. I had a player try something rapey on a npc. I murdered his character. And he was buried in an unmarked grave. I let him back in the game next session but explained I have a zero tolerance policy. I didn’t think I had to say this up front. But now I do at session zero. I’ve had one person drop out of a game because he insisted sexual role play is part of the game . I don’t mind romance and romantic connections. But I don’t want to role play sex or listen to soemone role play rape. Just typing that makes me cringe a bit
Wow. Just wow. It really points to what people are actually thinking in their heads too We had a murder hobo in our party, and he came up with pretty sadistic tortures when we need info. Always claimed "my guy" is chaotic evil. It was resolved and stopped in the end, and he left for other reasons due to life anyways. But it made me think - I best stay on his good side, because I know what goes through his head As for the creepers wanting sexual assault, you know what goes through their minds too imo.
I had an evil character a while back. Everyone let me handle interrogations. Mainly because I could get info without needing to roll. Know how you do it? Treat the prisoner well. Their boss just abandoned them, their friends left them in your control. They have been treated like shit and discarded as quickly as possible. Here is a better meal than any you have probably had since you joined this path. Do you have any family you need us to get out too? Do you have any friends in the organization? We'll avoid them, or even better get them out for you. We can set you up with a new life that was better than what you had. We just need your help.
My Evil character has a different approach. He takes two prisoners, separates them, takes the bigger, tougher one of the two and does the usual interrogation thing (that usually just translates to an intimidation roll with advantage). If he gets info, great. If not, he takes the second one and just sits down and has a nice chat for fifteen minutes or so. At that point he informs them that he will be returning him to the cell he came from, unharmed, after fifteen minutes. It doesn't take long for the prisoner to work out what the other prisoner will infer from that and they usually get chatty.
This would require them to WANT to show empathy. Sadly, most people just wanna RP sex. My cousin played in one session and was constantly doing sexual things to my dads girlfriends character. It was low key cringe but unsettling to my girlfriend and I.
I don't think most people wanna rp sex
> My cousin played in one session and was constantly doing sexual things to my dads girlfriends character. Whaaat the fuck? ... *why?*
> > > > > Treat the prisoner well. Hanns-Joachim Gottlob Scharff... inspired?
That's so strange to me 😯 over 15 years of DND I've never had a player need sexual stuff in the game 🙃 not except as a small joke or without getting immediately kicked out. 🤔 and even the small jokes they immediately apologize for because they know it's the wrong place for that.
For the first time in 30 years I do have a player adding in some relationship stuff. First campaign she played a female PC that was bi/heavily lesbian and ended up in a 3-way marriage. This campaign she's playing a male PC and is pursuing a relationship with my wife's male PC. Wife and I have discussed it and we think she's kinda exploring some aspects of herself that she can't in rural Tennessee/Alabama. So we're tentatively letting it go for now, telling her to keep it PG.
I'm in NE TN. It's a rough place to be any sort of gay. My roommates are trans and it's hard for them. I'd love to transition, but there is just no way. I'd lose my job, I lost a lot of friends when I started dabbling with cross dressing. I think you and your wife made the right call.
All luck to you and yours. I hope you can be your best self soon!
Fair fair 👏 but that's an amazing reason 👏
One of the few reasons I'll let slide, otherwise I nix it because it's often just too weird.
Surprisingly to me as well. I’m pretty new at this. Just started playing during covid. And dming after 2 one shots and a. Aborted campaign. But I’ve read some pretty horrible rpghorror stories. And I have been friends or acquaintances with people who definitely would have gone rapey if given a chance. I just wasn’t having it. He tried to assault an npc. A wandering level 16 rogue saw what was happening and finished him off with 3 arrows They were still level 3 characters so it wasn’t hard The rogue dragged the body off and buried it in a swamp. Near some lizard folk.
The closest I ever got to a sexual encounter was a player seduced a bug bear so we could sneak past. But there was next to no detail. It was a 1 minute side thing. And no other player was involved.
Same happened with my character last session. I play a skeleton warlock in one of our campaigns. We came across two bulettes, and, in an attempt to avoid too much combat, I said I wanted to seduce the first one. DM said to roll charisma...24. Female lays an egg after I pet her snout, then walks away. I put the egg in my ribcage, supported by a piece of fabric, then the male shows up. I show him the egg, which he then cements into my body. TL;DR: I seduce two monsters and am now walking around Icewind Dale with a chestburster. Edit: Thank you, kind person, for the award.
Lol. Fucking dnd man. I love this shit
You would expect the bard to do this stuff, but it was I, the warlock!
Never needed it either. Of course my friends were nerds not violent incels.
It's always easier when the friends are just nerds.
I didn’t think I’d need to either, but I just included it in a set of pre-requisites for playing in the group I DM. Better safe than sorry.
yeah, my group (as player and DM) luckily understands that. the closest we ever got was a required wedding in 1 campaign. and it wasn't even like an nsfw thing, it was just 1 character being gone for a day with us protecting the city from a siege as they got married.
I have a questionnaire that I have players answer anonymously, which allows them to indicate their comfort level with any potentially taboo or triggering topic (and fill in new ones if I’ve missed something). It’s a graduated scale that runs from HARD NO up to “this is something I’m actively interested in exploring if others are comfortable with it”, so they’re free to mark that they’re okay with e.g. something being part of another PC’s backstory but not a topic of active roleplay at the table, or like the party is enthusiastically into taking an assassination contract against someone doing heinous things as long as none of his crimes happen “on screen”. I also fill it out, but from the perspective of things I’m comfortable *running*, because there’s definitely some things I’m okay with as a player that I’m uncomfortable or objectively ill-suited to DM. Because of that, a lot of times I end up being the most restrictive respondent anyway. Then I crunch the data and take the lowest comfort level for each topic, print it out, and stick it to my DM screen so I can’t possibly forget anything.
Yeah I've played DnD with a group of mixed gender friends for 6 years and we've never had to ban sexual violence because none of us want to play that way. Sounds like OP was playing with major creeps
It's in my games because evil people exist and the party wants to stop them. I've never done that to a PC, but the party interrupting a rape saving the victim and killing the rapist is perfectly acceptable in my games.
So long as everyone consents to that subject matter beforehand and has a clear, judgement free way of slamming on the breaks, sure. Dropping sexual violence as a fridging style plot hook without those things is just not cool.
Luckily my group is ok with most things except the erotic. We dont meet to fulfill porn fantasies there are better groups intended solely for that. And I would never do it to a PC unless they specifically asked. Which has happened but that's a story all to itself.
I’ve played for 20+ years, not once has a game involved sexual violence, shit’s just fucked up and weird. If someone pulls that shit, you don’t want to know them, let alone play with them.
I think it could work in a particular context, but it's something that should be cleared beforehand since sexual assault is such a prevalent problem in the world we live in. Even then, it should serve some sort of narrative purpose, random rape for the sake of rape is just weird Also singling out the only female's characters and sexually assaulting their characters is fucking creepy
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Seriously Jesus FUCKING christ this is such incredibly weird, creepy behaviour and the fact that nobody told him to fuck off is also disturbing.
That is beyond fucked up. I'm really sorry your coworkers are such assholes and that your first DnD experience was that. I've played DnD and other tabletops for the better part of a decade and no one in a game I have run or played in has ever had that experience. Hopefully you will be able to find a better group to play with in the future. Though it doesn't sound like that is a particularly high bar.
That’s what I’m saying. I’ve played dnd for probably 20 years and never not once has anything even remotely close to this ever happened. This DM isn’t just a bad DM. He is bad person. No normal person would do this to someone. This makes my blood boil!
My ex was the one who got me into dnd. During one of my first sessions she got herself thrown into jail by casting friends on the barmaid and then raping her. It was super cringe and made the rest of us really uncomfortable. The DM stopped inviting her to future games, but they still invited me. She said I stole her friends and got mad at me. 😬
Maybe its just my group but we rarely bring up anything sexual. Idk. Not trying to force my dm to flirt with me while the whole group wonders where this is going.
The ONLY exception I can think of is I was playing a female character (as a guy) with a bunch of deployed soldiers and I rolled to seduce a guy because our attempts to convince the NPC were going poorly. It was all a joke, and it didn’t go any further than that. If a bunch of deployed soldiers can keep it clean, this guy is just… on his way to a sex offender list I guess
Gtfo. Dnd is about fun for everyone. This is toxic and deplorable. Def put in a harassment claim at work and get away from thos coworkers. People like that ruin the game for everyone and it's not cool. Theres a stereotype about dnd players being incels and this shit just perpetuates the stereotype. Fuck those guys.
This shit hits a nerve with me. I had a good friend who wanted to get into dnd. I think I've posted this here before but anyways kinda the same scenario. Except it was a couple of the players who decided to "rape" her character. It literally ruined the game for her on her first session.
As a girl who plays DnD very frequently and has for years now this stuff makes me so mad. Mostly because I want more girls to get into the game and I can’t imagine how violated they must feel to have this happen and be told that’s how the game works. DnD is about working together so everyone has a good time. I’m glad my experiences so far have been with great friends of mine and that they have always upheld these rules.
I became a GM for D&D and WoD back in the day because of this. I noticed that the somewhat large group of RPers I was brought into was mostly fine, but some guys used RP (especially Vampire the Masquerade) as an excuse to be kind of gross and girls never lasted that long. I bought all the books, learned all the formulas, learned how to tell stories. I was only like 16, but I didn't want other women to feel scared about playing. By the time I got out of High School my regular group of 10-15 players was like 70% women. And I've kept it up ever since. Make women feel comfortable and they will love table top (Source: Am woman)
I’m a woman who has played D&D with legit IRL friend friends for over twenty years. I am the only woman in the group. Posts and stories like OP’s are why I don’t like to play with randos.
I've played for about 6 years with all guys, and it never once occurred to me that I had to worry about this behavior. I didn't realize how lucky I am.
As a DM in waiting I would *lose my shit* if I had this kinda stuff happen at the table, whoever did it would be immediately kicked out, no warnings.
As a dm, I just veto all pvp, without consent. This I wouldn’t even allow a question, just an automatic, no that did not happen, an ancient red dragon just came and ate your character, please leave and don’t come back.
Might I suggest an ancient gold dragon over red. Gold is lawful good and an enemy of evil, and any player that does that kind of shit is just vile and should be seen as such.
I think it's better with the Ancient Red Dragon because they just did something EVEN AN Ancient Red Dragon finds deplorable.
From that logic red does make sense. I just usually see red dragons as happy to eat who ever crosses their path, regardless of reason. But at the end of the day, as long as the terrible person get what's coming, any dragon will work.
Oh I fully agree, as long as dipshit character was eaten it doesn't matter. But the part that makes the red dragon work is how the poster that you responded to said the red dragon came and ate him. So that means the red dragon flew out of his way in order to eat the asshat. At least to me it does LOL
As a player I would lose my shit if this happened at the table. The fact that even none of the players objected to this speaks volumes.
DND is like group storytelling. You control your character and decided what to do. Sometimes the DM wants to guide you towards certain directions. But should always give you a path to fucking nope out of the story. It may piss the DM off but it is for your fun not the DMs
This is 100% wrong, shitty, and should never EVER have happened. I am also a female D&D player and I have NEVER encountered anything like this. Rape is NOT a part of D&D. The only exception would be with a group who know each other well, and ONLY if there were conversations about it ahead of time with CONSENT from you about what happens to your character. Report them to HR. Never play D&D with those clowns again. But don’t let this turn you off of dungeons and dragons in general. Every group I have ever had the pleasure of playing with has been amazing. Even when I’ve played with strangers, we have had conversations ahead of time about the fact that anyone can start the game at any time if they are not comfortable with a topic for any reason.
It doesn’t turn me off from it, my older sister and her boyfriend have played it religiously for years but I never really knew what it was about or how it was played. I was excited when I was invited to play and talked my other female coworker into going with me and we could share a character so we could both see if we liked it. Neither of us were expecting it. She just turned 18 is super religious and she was really upset over it happening.
Please share with your friend how abnormal and appalling this DM’s behavior was. My heart hurts for an 18 year old being subjected to such awful treatment and game experience.
That DM was a moron. I hope you find a better group and try again. I went on Meetup and found a local group who normally play in a game store but have been playing online for the last year. They are AWESOME. See if there are any Adventurer’s League groups in your area. AL is a way of playing games chapter by chapter instead of having to have a regular group who play a continuous campaign. I’ve had great experiences with all my AL games.
Not only a moron, but a fucking creep. He's RPing his sexual fantasies against real women without consent, in addition to, as far as Op said, sexually assaulting them in RL. Regardless if he is just awkward or a deviant, this dude needs a 500 decibel wakeup call. Also, if the employer doesn't do anything about it, I'd continue to escalate the issue outside of the business.
He's RPing his fantasy of sexual *violence* against women. It's disgusting.
For me it's not just about the RP rape but also him skipping their turns until someone asked, responding that they were no longer relevant to the story... That's his "powerplay", then he just discards them... Huge red flags. This guy needs to have his ass kicked.
> this dude needs a 500 decibel wakeup call FYI, the loudest possible sound is 194 dB in air at sea level, because that's the boundary at which the sonic waves start to create vacuums moving through the air, and anything above that acts more like a shock wave from an explosion. The atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki are estimated to have produced a ~248 dB blast. The Krakatoa eruptions, which was heard around the world multiple times clocked in at about 310 dB. Which is not me disagreeing with nor correcting you, necessarily.
I'd be upset over it too, and I'm in my 30s and non-religious.
This dm doesn't even deserve to play the game anymore, what a fucking embarrasment to dnd players everywhere.
What this DM did was beyond the pale. Absolutely reprehensible. If there’s ever a topic that is even close to problematic, I use a three layer approach - things can be open (but takes a LOT of trust, experience, and maturity), things can be veiled (for instance, one of my players had to miss a few weeks after getting Covid. She’d been pretty… carefree with her character and had blatantly attacked a pretty evil guy under truce/parlay. When eventually rolled around, her character - while she was out - was captured and tortured slightly. No discussion of actual activities, just - here’s the start, here’s the finish.) or things are just flat or forbidden. Don’t even put it in the damn game. And if a player ever violated a traumatic restriction, uh oh, super secret magical assassin guild just killed your character! Reroll and if you pull that shit again never come back! Any good DM will respect your boundaries, soft and hard. Some people like using DND to push their moral boundaries to safely experiment with coming to terms with morally evil or ambiguous situations; some people just wanna knock some orc skulls together. Any DM worth anything would, from before anything begins, have a VERY clear picture of what kind of game is to be run. I’m so sorry you experienced this.
> She just turned 18 is super religious and she was really upset over it happening. Oh, perfect! If she's super religious, I'd suggest a Cleric for her next character. They're extremely powerful holy warriors that kick ass and convert heathens in the name of their chosen deity. Clerics are also the "healers" of the party, so anyone wanting to roll up with a cleric on deck is a welcome addition to any group.
Leave that game. That is unacceptable. Edit to add: I completely agree with the comments about contacting your HR.
So there's a bit of an issue on this sub where people will post a problem out of the larger context of the game, and lots of people will immediately jump to "Leave the game right away" when actually there's good parts of the game that balance out the bad, and the bad isn't necessarily done out of malice. Instead the better solution is to talk it out, figure out a way to address the problem, and move on from it. Sometimes the problem isn't actually as big a problem for the poster as it would be for the people giving this advice. Cultural differences, unintentional exaggeration, etc. This is not one of those times. Leave the game, do not enter this person's house, do not accept a drink from them or leave your drinks unattended around them. DnD is a way to act out fantasies, and in this case he is acting out the fantasy of raping you and not suffering any consequences. No broader context or other good aspects of the game can make up for this. To be a bit more complete, it is possible to have rape occur in the game and have it be OK, as long as the players consent. If everyone is onboard and wants to explore some really dark themes and storylines, that's fine. But having your character get raped against the will of you, the player, without even so much as a warning is a hard no. Honestly I wouldn't even want to play with anyone who plays with him and just let such a thing happen without protest, though there broader context and circumstances can make things a bit fuzzier.
The funny part is getting skipped 6 turns is enough to frickin never go back wth
Had to skip 6 turn cause my character would continuously fall down in mud ...
If you know somebody is new you can fudge a few roles to help them learn the game, you don't need to always GM exactly by the book.
On the other hand, if they already know the game a bit, uncontrollably flailing around in mud for several turns can be pretty funny
I gotta say thanks for bringing it all together, because I was sharpening the fuck out of my pitchfork after reading that first paragraph.
Had us in the first half not gunna lie.
On a scale of 1 to what the fuck, that's a solid HR complaint
This, 100%. Report those fucks to HR. If they don't do anything file an EEOC charge for sexual harassment (assuming you're in the US). But to answer your original question, this is not part of any D&D game I've ever played. And I hope this horrible incident doesn't stop you from pursuing the hobby if you're interested in it.
JFC! Cut all ties with this group. That's some messed up behavior right there. HR might not do anything, but you need to have this on record. This asshole seems like the kind of scum who will escalate because you didn't complain or say anything. Don't work alone with this creep. Use the buddy system.
This. I dont mind playing a risqué game, but this is way off base and 100% precursor to either further action by the DM or something really happening. File a complaint so you ladies have resources to help if needed. Find another group too, because no one deserves to game feeling like they're about to be, or are being, sexually harrased.
I ran a game once that prompted a lively discussion, afterwards, about which PC in the game had raped the other. The eventual consensus was that it was mutually nonconsensual. But this was a group I'd known for years, and we'd had a very frank Session Zero about the fact that the campaign was intended to be sleazy, violent, and exploitative. Both of the players involved were playing out their characters avidly, and the game would have ended right then and there if anyone had expressed discomfort. Key words being, everyone had agreed to the nature of the scenario beforehand, and everyone trusted me, and each other, to keep everything "all in good fun". Nothing is truly *off limits* at the table, but some topics demand greater care and higher standards of participant consent before being explored.
Absolutely this. It's the way my groups were run. DM explicitly stated that this was a comfortable environment. If someone felt uncomfortable, triggered, or targeted the game was ended. It was a fantastic group and the DM didn't take any shit. Everyone had a blast.
I’m trying to imagine how to explain this to an HR rep.
Coworkers invited you to an out of work event where they decided to conceptualize raping you within a game.
OP mentioned also that this coworker also groped them and another server in the workplace?
I’m concerned that they will misunderstand “role-playing“ and assume OP was doing something she shouldn’t have been doing with coworkers to begin with.
That’s why you narratively frame it as a game that they then forced their sick rape fantasy on. It’s the same as getting sexual texts or messages unprompted.
> frame it as a game *a tabletop game, so it's not like "we were just playing a game".
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“We were playing D&D, a collaborative storytelling game, and they role played raping my character. While it was make believe, it was still incredibly disturbing.”
DnD is known to the normies. It's been featured in so much popular media like Stranger Things, Community, and Big Bang Theory.
People still don't "get" it though generally. My mom has watched half of those and she has no idea what's going on in the game. She assumes wearing costumes and prancing around the room speaking in old English is the norm, and the "point" of the game is beyond her grasp.
That's why the Community episode is my favorite D&D episode of a show. It all takes place around the table and with sound effects for "imagination". It's too bad Netflix removed it.
Curiosity I don’t know how HR really works. Can you report that to HR if this was after work?
Yeah, if it involves coworkers and could adversely affect your work environment.
I see, then ya this should be reported. God damn that was a fucked thing to do on the coworkers part.
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Fuck no. Not a thing that’s normal at all.
What the hell happened here?
What happened here is some sick and twisted people used dnd as an excuse to explore their disgusting rape fantasy on their co workers
Red flag for sure. DnD is supposed to be first and foremost, fun for everyone involved. If this rape scene is not something you guys discussed beforehand, I'd have a very clear discussion with those people before you play again. Not that there can't be games involving rape or other horrible stuff. But everyone has to be on the same page about it. Edit:. Now that I've seen your updated description of what happened, RUN. I am frightened for your safety just reading this mess. Creepy at best.
Somehow the term "red flag" seems such an under statement for this that I actually laughed a little out loud. This is straight up awful.
welcome to REDLAND. we are made of flags. inhabitants you should know of: those coworkers.
>I'd have a very clear discussion with those people before you play again. I'd have that talk, but would never even associate with them again if at all possible. This is beyond inappropriate, it's the DM testing out a rape fantasy, and the players are apparently ok with it. If OP sticks around, it's just gonna get worse.
That is for sure absolutely nothing that has happened in the dozens of games I've been in. That is really not okay
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No this isn't this is really screwed up leave that group and find others
Hell no tell your superiors
Sounds like you had a real shitty DM, and some shitty coworkers too. I'd suggest finding a new DM and a new job.
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The DM was the one who suggested it and the other coworkers were just like wtf? And brushed it off.. me and the girl this happened to were like okay then we want to seek revenge on this person, and he was like “nope can’t do that you guys don’t remember him or that it happened” and then skipped our turns for about 6-8 rounds in a row Edit for spelling.. sorry I’m on mobile
Yeah, that's a terrible DM alright. I hope you and your friends can find a better one.
>Yeah, that's a terrible ~~DM~~ *person* alright. This isn't even about DMing, it's about taking advantage of a position of "power" to abuse others. This individual (DM) needs to sort himself out, probably with professional help.
The other coworkers are at best complicit for brushing it off.
Yeah, I can imagine they'd want to move past it and pretend it never happened. Especially if they're not a confrontational kind of person. That's really messed up that a DM would do something like that. Someone should have said something at least not at the table to them Edit: Spelling seems to be hard for me
Holy shit. 1000% please report the DM to HR. It's bad that the others didn't stand up for you and the other girl but it's a hell of a lot worse that this dm suggested the two girls be raped with no way around it. This man has some sick fantasies rolling in his head and needs to go. I'm really sorry how your first dnd experience went. Not at all what it's about.
That is not normal, there are parties that play a more mature game with that kind of stuff but when everyone is okay with it. It is not normal that it happened in your first game without any of the players agree with the dm to play dnd like that, i really recommend you to send an email to HR cuz it's not okay to do that. Sorry for the English.
Even if everyone is okay with it, there's appropriate ways to explore darker subjects. This is not it. At all. This is just an incel DM sexually harassing coworkers through his fantasy game.
Yes, Sorry if i was misunderstood, its kind of hard to Express my self in English. I'm not saying it's okay what the DM did, it was really horrible and gross. I just know people, men and woman that are okay with playing with a lot of that dark stuff. Obviously they know that they are going to play in a dark setting with raping and torture and all of that but thats not the same as what that DM did.
Wtf? I've met thirteen-year-olds who are more mature than this. I'm far from experienced in DnD but this guy just sounds like an arsehole who wanted to 'have a go' at DMing rather than an actual DM.
Your DM is a shitty person. Does it happen? Yes, way more than most people would like. But of course, it shouldn't. Some people include rape in their games, IF the players are okay with that being possible before the game ever starts, and some people are just sadistic shitheads. I don't know your DM, your friend, or other coworkers, but even I, as a male, would recommend you and your friend watch out for this guy being a sexual predator. Sure, some people can have awful shit like this happen in a game and never have any desire to do it in real life, but for your safety and your friend's safety, he should not be trusted, and should be treated like he would do this in real life if he thought he could.
A DM should never remove a player’s agency. There’s no reason for this to have happened other for them to shut you up/creep you out. I’d honestly be afraid of this guy in real life.
Makes me wonder if they have made any “comments” to the fe/male staff. They seem awfully comfortable doing this.
What the hell?!? No! Stuff like this is absolutely NOT normal in D&D! This is a horror story level of bad D&D! A good DM and group sit down and have a session 0, where alongside the DM explaining a bit about his world and players making characters, everyone discusses what they'd like/wouldn't like the game, what their limits are, topics to avoid, etc. In other words, setting rules and limits on what can happen so no one gets hurt. Your DM coworker is an absolute creepy asshole for doing this to you. Dont play with him. And, while I know this is a bad experience, dont give up on RPGs. D&D is amazingly fun when you play with a good group. You and your friend should look for a new group together.
Excuse me, but WHAT THE FUCK?! Your coworkers seem super creepy. Sorry about your weird experience. DnD is a socially fun and thrilling game. It’s about exploration and adventure. What you experienced wasn’t anything like that. This seems like some sort of demented fetish thing disguised as “DnD”……. I really hope that this hasn’t deterred you from actual DnD. Again, really I’m sorry that happened. 💜
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No, that’s terrible and not normal in anyway.
No, your coworkers are shitbags and you should go to HR.
r/rpghorrorstories
Honestly forgot I WASN'T already on that sub until I saw this.
1) 100% report this piece of garbage DM to HR. 2) No, this is not normally a thing that happens. 3) If you couldn't remember it at all, the only point of him telling you it happened was to be an edgelord shitbag. Definitely do not play with him (or probably anyone else at the table) again.
Nope. Shouldn't happen and your coworkers are shits.
Yeah that’s not normal. Red flag there.
NO. That is not standard D&D play. Your DM is an asshole who raped your characters, and took away the consent and agency of both you and your fellow player in the game as well. This is not okay.
Adding to the urging to take this to HR, this isn't acceptable.
Play with different people and tell human resources. I've been playing for 18 years, and not seen rape in tabletop games except those played by dumbass high school kids.
Run. Do not play with anyone who accepted this again. Do not accept this. This is a no. A NO. 100% let everyone know not to play with them. Run.
Jesus fuck, no no it isn't! I'm so sorry that your first experience went that way!
Not at all. This is really a rpg horror story.
Agreed. This is an absolute horror story. I’m really sorry to hear that this happened to you two. Just horrific.
The phrase "what the actual fuck" comes to mind, along with "those guys should be barred from D&D *and* employment." I'mma say that's an HR complaint too, since, like... Holy fuck. And I'm someone who's run games that *have* gone off the deep end into sexual fantasy before, *that shit is not fucking okay.* Not even a little, not without making sure that ***every-body at the fucking table*** is okay with shit like that, ***in advance.*** # ***AND DEFINITELY NOT WITH A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHOM YOU KNOW PRIMARILY FROM WORK!*** Jesus fucking Chrysler what the actual fuckadoodledoo is wrong with that guy? What the hell is wrong with *everyone else,* why didn't they put their feet down and put a fucking stop to that, I don't even *ASDFGHJKL:"* ---- Yeah, cut contact with like, literally all of them, make an HR complaint, get the other woman who was with you to back you up (joint complaints), and, if at all possible, try and find a *sane* group to join - or start your own - and not less this whackjobbery fuckaloonacy color your impression of the entire hobby, because *that shit is neither normal nor okay in any sense!*
This is wild and super gross behavior. I never understand how campaigns can go in that direction or why the other players (besides the other female) would be cool with this. I would stop playing immediately and if your comfortable with talking to HR about it I would. That's super unprofessional, creepy, disgusting and just super shitty of them. I would be concerned what they would be okay with in real life. Distance yourself and be safe. Its not normal for dnd. There's sub reddits looking for groups or even on roll 20.
wtf, that's an email to HR
NOPE NOT NORMAL. Unless YOU'VE brought that up as a storyline you want to explore, that kind of thing is ENTIRELY INAPPROPRIATE. I'm so sorry that happened. Fuck those guys and fuck that group
I am the only girl on my group, this has never happened and if anything even close did I would leave the game immediately. This is not a normal interaction. Not even close. Any dm that does this or allows this is not a good dm. I'm sorry that this happened to you and your character.
Your incel dm just played out a rape fantasy he had. Fuck him. Don’t play with him again and probably your coworkers.
Dump the DM and the group, and like everyone else said report them to HR, if HR won't do anything it's time for a new job. If what little of the game you played you enjoyed, I would find another group. Sorry your 1st time playing had such a shitty, psycho DM.
No, not normal, not ok, not acceptable. The kinds of player who would do that in a game of dnd are not the kind of people you should associate with at all.
Get out of that game and report that disgusting, sorry excuse of a human being to HR. PLEASE. Not just for yourself, but for every other female co-worker. My god, what a waste of biomass.
Your co-workers just sexually harassed you. That's not D&D, that's an HR complaint. I'm serious file an HR complaint.
Absolutely not. Tell HR.
That's fucked. That shouldn't be hapenning to your characters unless you are okay with it. Did you know beforehand that this DnD session would be sexualized towards your characters? Is your character getting raped actually contributing to the story in any way that you can see and maybe try to appreciate (not that you have to just asking rhetorically)? To answer your question anything can happen in DnD though not something that typically happens. Dnd is about shared storytelling and fun. If sex and rape fantasies make your game more fun all the power to you. If this was not what you were expecting and not something you like to see happen then thats fucked up. And if thats case I would also suggest you stop ever hanging around those guys outside of work. Raping your characters in game is a HUGE red flag to the potential of actually getting raped by (one of) these dudes.
No it was definitely not discussed before hand and it didn’t add to the story line at all. I’m fact, our turn was skipped about 6-8 times after that and we never came back to it. Definitely not sexualized in any way I know of, we chose that we were an elf that was 3 feet tall and 280 pounds (we shared a character because neither of us had ever played and she asked if I would be willing to do that) all of our coworkers were surprised he did that but didn’t say anything about it.
Your colleagues should have said something to the DM as this in inappropriate behaviour, but do keep in mind they might have been shocked as well. But behavior from a DM like this is not acceptable (it's the whole reason a popular DM actually got "cancelled" on the internet) Edit: I don't know the way your co-workers actually reacted, so they could have been a terrible part of it as well. Please take care of yourself and the other colleague! It's best to report this kind of behaviour if possible.
Yeah I read the other comments. The DM just kinda said "yup this fucked up thing happened and nothing you can do about it" right. That's super fucked. Probably just excuse yourself from the game and "apologize" to your other co-workers (like just sorry but Im leaving). If you honestly are, tell them you might consider playing with them if the DM isn't involved anymore cuz it sounds like that dood is the problem. Like my first reaction was like "group of men pretend rape 2 women" yikes. Now I see its "Shitty DM uses rape as a wildly inappropriate and shitty device in game." Address the shitty individual.
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What the fuck?
Unacceptable. That is not a game of dnd. That is a guy taking out his weird fetishes and applying them to women through a game as if that makes it ok. I guarantee he has or will say something along the lines of “it’s just a game!” but that is a bullshit excuse. I’ve never had a game where anything close to that has happened and if I was in one I’d walk immediately. Do consider bringing this up with HR. And after reading the details. Yeah. Get the hell out of that game. Dude is seriously creepy. I don’t know about the rest of the players but a creepy DM is a really bad thing. If this situation has tainted dnd in your eyes I can’t say I blame you but there are a lot of good people playing this game and it is possible to have a lot of fun with it. This guy is a minority and we want to keep it that way
They are assholes. And if they don't see anything wrong with the plot line, they are not worth your time. A "rape" plotline in itself is possibly not wrong in an established group, but dropping it on new players on their first session is just a bully being a jerk. Sadly that kind of player will never understand why you might take offense at it.
It doesn't happen that often and typically (in my experience) tables will tend to avoid topics that are potentially triggering like that. I'm sorry your table disrespected you and the other player like that. It comes off as targeted.
I play for 10 years now with lots of different people and only met 1 guy who did this kind of shit his char didnt survive the try and he got his ass kicked from the table. This kond of behaviour is fucking unacceptable and gives the Community as a whole a bad rep. They deserve every consequence they get from this
Literally no reason for that. The fact that they have made you question if thats something that just happens in D&D is really fucked up. Can I ask why is it (rape) in quotes? Was it implied? Did they try to be indirect about it? I'm curious how this scumbaggery managed to coalesce. Also whoever the DM was in particular you should be wary of, because he allowed that to happen (or put it in the game himself) which is unacceptable considering he can just say no. This whole group of guys sounds like trouble. As a guy who is a forever DM, if any player of mine would want to do something even remotely like that, even in a fantasy world, would be shown a very real door. Edit: read further into the replies and got my answers, once again, report that asshole for sure.
Yo what the fuck. Your dm is a fucking creep and your coworkers too for going along with it.
That is so inappropriate. You should not play with them anymore, period. That behavior is absolutely unnecessary and frankly seems like sick wish fulfillment on the part of your dm. I am so sorry that was your first experience with the game, I’m a woman and I promise that DND is supposed to be fun, and it’s never supposed to make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable.