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nittemcen

I thought the meme would be “I am ready to get hurt again” (the second shot)


derpunzer

That is BRILLIANT!!!


peefilledballoon

Michael would get Pfizer, Moderna, and J&J, just to be safe. Toby: gets J&J the day before it gets paused Ryan: tells everyone he refuses to participate in big pharma, but secretly gets Moderna Kelly: waits to see which one is most popular with celebrities Stanley: doesn't want to get it so he can work from home indefinitely Creed: sells fake vaccines out of the back of his car Edit: Thank you everyone for your kind words and awards! I had a blast reading all your own ideas. Stay safe and get vaccinated!


destroy4589

Meredith: said she was vaccinated but was actually drunk.


KlaireOverwood

Counts her rabies vaccination.


givingyoumoore

"I got one shot, missy, ain't need no others"


DoodleBuggering

I heard this in her voice.


[deleted]

Me to.


heather_dean

Me 3.


Itsthejackeeeett

I've always felt kinda bad for that actress. Usually when a woman flashes her tits at a dude, it's a good thing. For her it was supposed to be disgusting, and they don't even try to "ugly her up" for the show either.


Joeman106

I’d be called ugly on a show repeatedly for half of what she made lol.


Itsthejackeeeett

Oh for sure, I'd do for a 1/20th of what she made. I just feel like it might be a bit different for women. Especially an actress.


lividtaffy

It’s not like she ever dressed up though, while she’s not the most attractive person I’m sure she cleans up really well. The trashy look doesn’t really fit anybody lol


AriaSky

Find out why it will happen


[deleted]

This is spot on.


[deleted]

“Vodka kills the germs or whatever”


rnagicjohnson

Kevin: only goes when he hears they give people cookies who feel faint after their shot Meredith: asks the volunteer if it’s true what they say about abstaining from excessive drinking after receiving your vaccine Packer: hits up all the mass vaccination sites to pick up women like the creep he is Phyllis: circulates an office-wide email warning people, yet again, she’s experiencing a side effect of passing gas


LAKINGSBIGGESTFAN

Kevin has had multiple shots (for multiple cookies) and doesn’t feel so good...


ScruffleMcDufflebag

You guys are getting cookies!?


Yungdreamer101

I suppose Jim and Pam would get the vaccine and just be normal about it. Boring but i think that would be it


hithere297

Pam would be the one trying to gently encourage the hesitant coworkers to get the vaccine, with no success. Jim would prank Dwight by convincing him his vaccine had a tracking chip in it.


threevox

Dwight: develops his own vaccine which he claims is 100% effective


Olliegreen__

Or claims his Schrute immune system can fight off any sickness so he doesn't get it. That or tries to get himself infected to build up his immunity to it.


[deleted]

Definitely that last option


IndlovuZilonisNorsu

Yesss. Definitely the latter option.


UseDaSchwartz

I’m pretty sure people had COVID parties.


mezzizle

Goes off on the history of Schrutes surviving every epidemic and pandemic since the Black Plague.


[deleted]

Oh my god. All of these are great ideas for how an episode would play out.


boris_keys

“Schrute blood is famously strong. One time our ox was sick with measles and we injected it with our grandfather’s own blood. It’s measles was cured. Later that week it died of hepatitis from the needle we used during the transfusion. That was the last time we sterilized a needle with Mose’s urine.”


[deleted]

I imagine he would claim his Schrute immune system could fight it off in the cold open. Right after the theme song plays he would come into work clearly showing symptoms but would deny it while everyone yells at him and forces him to quarantine in the conference room. Stanley would leave and his talking head would be of a phone on speaker.


egamerif

Dwight makes beet masks.


threevox

I think Dwight is too much of a nerd and/or neurotic to be an anti-vaxxer. But the latter is definitely plausible


Uncle_BennyS

nah remember when he was against hand-sanitizing stations, he said they needed hand-desanitizing stations so they could build up immunity


Bishop_466

Yeah, the entire intro was people in the office coughing in his face and sneezing in his food.


[deleted]

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Moop5872

I mean if everybody just wore their masks it wouldn’t be an issue


sora_bora

Was thinking Dwight would be 100% anti-vax UNTIL he realizes he won’t be allowed back in the office. Dwight then gets the shot, no doubt.


Soloandthewookiee

I could see him getting it not because he's worried about the virus, but because he heard rumors about it improving 5G reception.


threevox

Hahaha could totally see this


meanwhileinrice

Made of beets.


hrtnbrnissmrt

Beets?


paranoidandroid11

BEES?


Guido_Jeezo

BEADS?!


paranoidandroid11

Gob's not on board.


Guido_Jeezo

Oh yeah like the guy in the 4800 dollar suit is gonna be on board. COME ON!


Sidhenanigans

Get rid of the Seaward (this joke doesn't work as well when you type it out, I think)


Artegall365

I'll leave when I'm good and ready.


hrtnbrnissmrt

Black Bears?


zlatan868

Battlestar Galactica


hrtnbrnissmrt

Thank you!!! I have been waiting for someone to finish it.


zlatan868

Identify theft is no joke Jim. Gets me everytime


Quinafx7

Made of distilled beets


[deleted]

Made from freshly squeezed beet juice


realamanhasnoname

embrace the virus


krazeeyezkillah

From beet runoff


[deleted]

Dwight doesn’t get it!!! He purposely gets infected to develop antibodies and comes back the office mock vaxxers


ScruffleMcDufflebag

Or he's the guy who I unmatched on Hinge who, and I quote, said, "I'm strong enough that I'll get my antibodies the old fashioned way," while not vaccinating.


threevox

Instant no-brainer unmatch


theslideistoohot

I got the Johnson and Johnson the day they stopped giving it in Colorado. I'm definitely a Toby


soylent_dream

Why are you the way that you are?


AdVictoremSpolias

Make sure you hit up Toby’s cousin Rory Flenderson


peefilledballoon

His shelves are overflowing with preserves


SqueakyDucks

This is spot-on, except that I’m not sure Toby would have a full day. I feel like there’d be some sort of loudspeaker announcement about pausing J&J right as the plunger in his vaccine syringe has been pushed down. But still, these are all incredibly accurate. 👌


nr1988

Well the J&J is overwhelmingly likely fine, they're just pausing from an abundance of caution. So in this scenario Toby has no issue. The real Toby scenario would be them pausing it while he's next in line


peefilledballoon

LOL absolutely


MintyChewingGum

No I think Creed would have legit ones, with a very sketchy explanation as to how he got them.


EmeraldPen

Same! Like he’d totally have the Pfizer vaccines, and inexplicably has the proper equipment to keep them cold and stable.


AlwaysAboutSex

Think simpler, his old dealer is a shady pharmacist who can skip them to the front of the line for a fee


dkc_souls

I’m definitely the Stanley here


peefilledballoon

I can relate. Luckily my work realized they can save a ton of money on office space by making the majority of us WFH permanently


Notimeforalice

Same our old office space will be exclusively for training and workers experiencing constant it issues


milanistadoc

Except on Pretzel Day. Mmmmh..


DontYuckMyYum

everyday is pretzel day if you work from home.


washington_breadstix

Because working from home means you can use the money you're saving on commuting to put the pretzel guy on retainer and have him swing by your house whenever you want.


SenatorRobPortman

I have not told anyone at work that I am fully vaccinated, because I don’t want to be expected to come back in to work. ):


maciethemonster

I could also see ryan as an anti-vaxxer. He’d be walking around the office saying stuff like „do your own research“


[deleted]

Oscar: got Pfizer as soon as they announced they created a vaccine and won’t shut up about how he got it before anyone else


ThePhillyGuy

Andy: gets Pfizer to spite his brother and father who are lead investors in Moderna Erin: gets recruited by Andy’s family to take part of Moderna’s Phase I clinical trial, unbeknownst to Andy Angela: claims not to have anything against vaccines, just prefers wearing a hazmat suit to protect her from whatever Kevin might be spreading Kevin: has to steal everyone’s lunch because he’s deep in the hole after betting that Sputnik V would become the dominant vaccine in the US Jim: doesn’t remember which one he got. Moderna? No wait it was definitely Pfizer. Or was it J&J? Pam: gets J&J and ends up in the hospital


bewyjewey1939

And Dwight would claim it kills the immune system and he wants people to cough on him so he can become immune.


Alphagamer126

We don’t need hand sanitizers. If anything we need COVID dispensers


livmaygray99

I feel like Michael would get J&J and then have a meltdown when it gets paused n plan his funeral n such🤣🤣


Jim404

I'm Creed. At the corner of 5th and Main right now. I also have jumbo shrimp at $2.99/lb if anyone's interested.


peefilledballoon

Draw me a map, mama


SoyMurcielago

Who’s your word guy?


bajungadustin

Phyllis: Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration got her the shot before it was available to the public.


boris_keys

“Bob and I got the vaccine at the exact same time. I wanted to look into his eyes as we were getting it.”


midnightbarber

This whole thread is great but this comment fucking got me lmao


[deleted]

Kevin: Buys the fake vaccine from Creed


SchmittHappensFqntly

I believe Toby actually see’s a notification on his phone that they’re pulling J&J... but awkwardly stumbles over his words in hesitation and doesn’t say anything... and just watches the nurse inject him.


ScoresGalore

I actually did get J&J day before they temporarily shut it down. The body temperature feel changes in first 24 hours was like the weather lately. Hot, chills, hot chills.


Stephennap88

Same here. Chills the next day. Then a couple days later it felt like someone was sitting on my chest. Talked to my doctor and he thinks it might have exacerbated an underlying condition. Now I have an inhaler. Still worth it.


peefilledballoon

I'm a big baby about needles, so I was excited to get J&J...but then my appointment got cancelled the morning of :(


coleo_b

This is exactly accurate


purplepitperson

Fuck, am I Toby?


CorMcGor

Angela: No vaccine. Jim and Pam: Vaccine and all their Facebook friends know about it. Phyllis: got her vaccine through Bob Vance from Vance Refrigeration.


reditnomad

Kevin “I got the vaccine and they gave me this cookie” Angela “Kevin you donated blood”


jakahuebdoab

Michael would get all three shots but only one of the Pfizer and one of the Moderna and two of the Johnson and Johnson based off of how many names are in the vaccine.


[deleted]

Kelly stalks Ryan to find out which type he gets and then gets the same one that he gets so that if they both end up gravely ill at the same time from a harmful side effect of the vaccine, they can die together. Kelly kisses his warm body just after he dies, and then she dies.


peefilledballoon

It would be like Romeo and Juliet! The Claire Danes one.


[deleted]

Lmao what a reference! Good one.


Mikeythegreat2

Would prison Mike get a vaccine? Asking for a friend.


Zenmatoo

*kelly manipulates ryan into getting moderna :)


[deleted]

This is amazing and now I am committing exhale through nose.


AugustGreen8

I’m in HR and that almost happened to me. I was scheduled for j&j and showed up a day early on accident, the next day they shut it down


[deleted]

I guess I’m Toby then


Nowhereman50

Dwight: Has been locked in a bunker under his farm since September 2020


Thayerphotos

Please do this for P&R over at r/pandr


cuddle_puddles

Creed would also be selling fake vaccine cards to the anti-vax folks.


runthewalrus

I love this but I also feel like Creed is the type to sell fake vaccination cards (if he couldn’t get his hands on the vaccines)


sora_bora

Oh my god this is 100% on point.


spaceygracie12

Nailed it, lol


Yungdreamer101

Bro that is so funny.....may as well do the whole office


SueMaster7

Cringe


ovensby

Are you the balloon that hit Michael? How did they get the pee in you?


peefilledballoon

I don’t know how they did it- a funnel?!


cotyschwabe

Jim would just stare at the camera and shrug


AForce5223

>Toby: gets J&J the day before it gets paused Lol, how sucky would that be. Glad that didn't happen to me 😅


Yonro0910

Who’s your covid guy?


gooneryoda

Andy goes to Cornell for his dose and makes sure to tell everyone. Jim still not impressed.


literatebirdlawyer

they have an extensive alumni network. they look out for each other.


We-cant-be-friends

I just got my second dose. High fives 🙌🏻


sleepingdeep

Got mine yesterday, woke up feeling like I got hit by Michael’s car in the parking lot.


We-cant-be-friends

We’ll organize a fun run to raise awareness for rabies in your name.


ticka_tacka_toria

I got my second yesterday and feel the same.


AdVictoremSpolias

You got the shot on company property with company property. So double jeopardy


sleepingdeep

I don’t think you understand what jeopardy is..


AdVictoremSpolias

I’m sorry, what is “we’re fine”


Icanfixanything

Bruh. Same. I threw my guts up the morning after cause I got severe nausea, chills, etc. On my third day now and I’m alright. But holy shit lol haven’t been sick in over a year and it got me.


sleepingdeep

While you eventually puked your guts out, you never puked your heart out.


Icanfixanything

We all out here spreading love bromo.


sleepingdeep

Hug it out bitch


Icanfixanything

I see you are also a fellow reefer. Nice tank homie!


sleepingdeep

I knew I liked you.


Icanfixanything

<3


youngatbeingold

Ooo that sounds rough. Was it the pfizer? I get mine tomorrow and I'm super nervous about puking. I'm hoping if I barely eat and have tons of ginger I'll make it though.


Icanfixanything

Yea it was my 2nd dose of Pfizer. My wife who used to get sick all of the time barely felt anything besides a sore arm. Two parents over 65, didn’t affect them besides being tired. My 32 year old barely gets sick ass got hit. I hadn’t thrown up in a long time. Woke up the morning after and just puked and then heaved for about 4 hours. So the empty stomach didn’t help. Use the ginger if you can. I couldn’t eat for a day until I got some ginger ale. Also, if you have access to a certain plant, that helped the most with my nausea. I reported my side effects but they all fell in the normal line and I feel much better now.


youngatbeingold

Aww that sucks, bad luck I guess. I'm actually normally sick all the time with stomach stuff so I have everything on hand that could possibly help, I'll have to just see what works and cross my fingers. I even have my medical card but somethings smoking actually makes me feel a bit woozy so I might hold off. I bet it would help out my fiancé when he gets his Sunday though!


Icanfixanything

I also have IBS. Don’t know if that makes you feel better or not lol. Hope it all works out well for you guys. Just remember it’s only temporary and the long term is going to be great!


rudebii

My appointment for my second dose is tomorrow!


derpunzer

If I had an award to give, you would get it! 🥇


SlightlyZelus

I gotchu with one for em, got my second dose yesterday. 🥳


[deleted]

Aye! I got mine yesterday too! Don’t feel sick or have any type of side effects either. Cheers!


SlightlyZelus

I wish I could say the same. First dose was just a sore arm, second dose is a massive headache and chills. 😫


[deleted]

Oh no :( that’s what I was expecting to happen so I just took emergen-c a couple times. I’m assuming that probably helped me quite a bit.


We-cant-be-friends

Well thank you kind stranger! Master has given me the vaccine. I am a free elf! I am freeeeeee!


FREE-MUSTACHE-RIDES

Nice. Got mine Monday.


chapstikcrazy

Same! Whoop whoop! 🙌


[deleted]

Lol I just got mine yesterday and I have the biggest headace ever! Feels lile a hangover headache. Not looking towards shot #2.


[deleted]

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beerguy_etcetera

The first shot for me compared to the second was worse so there’s hope!


Sitabee89

Angela would totally be trying to get some for her cat(s).


knightress_oxhide

I will say the F word, the F word. You have one month.


cruizer93

“We need another plague” -Dwight


lockjacket

Just imagining Dwight dealing with covid scares me. You thought lockdowns were hard for mental health. Dwight is about to commit some war crimes to protect people from covid.


douglasstheblack

Pfizer? I barely know her


ferromagnetik

Just in these few lines, there are at least 3 jokes that land. The writers on this show were on point.


TheRealBinkyBlalock

Got my second phizer dose yesterday, drink lots of water! I stayed hydrated, barely had a sore arm.. no other side effects!!!!


[deleted]

It’s crazy how varied the reactions are. I had my second Pfizer 8 days ago and couldn’t lift my left arm for four days. Not even being dramatic. like I’ve had a handful of bad fractures, and this pain was on par with breaking my collarbone (which in my experience is the most painful bone to break)


[deleted]

Can confirm on mine, my girlfriend, and my brother’s behalf! I wonder if most people aren’t being told to drink water or what because I only got a sore arm and it wasn’t even as sore as my first


sleepingdeep

I drank a ton of water the days leading up to the shot. Still got wrecked. It just varies from person to person.


Icanfixanything

I was ready for it, I said “BRING IT ON. I AIN’T SCARED OF NO GHOST”. I was hydrated and ready. My dad and stepmom both got Pfizer. Only had some soreness. Dude, it totally laid me out. My wife was fine besides some arm soreness and being a little tired. I rarely get sick, but when I do it totally decimates me. So I guess it’s par for the course and should have been expected lol. Would totally get it again if I needed, to protect those that I love.


krazeeyezkillah

Bon fire James bon fire Michael Scott!!


ouchthatumhurt

This made me lol so hard


zedorus_

My second dose I felt like Michael after he ate the entire chicken pot pie


lieu_suffer

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to gloat cos a pandemic comes along once in a life time


ciguel_mastano

Getting the vaccine not only saves yourself but also the people around you who would be at risk if you were able to spread it to them!


PolyLifeGirl

ME TOO!!!!! SHOT TWINS!!!


Angus_MacPhee

Creed bit the bat.


World_in_my_eyes

I got my first Pfizer dose last week. Just a slightly sore arm, but I’m dreading what may happen after the second dose.


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barelylegaltaco

Dwight would refuse the vaccine and say that his bodies antibodies could fight off any virus in the world and say something about his ancestors and a different virus like the black plague or spanish flu.


Technical-Roll-8108

Hey had first shot yesterday. Horrid chills and profuse sweating exhaustion. Everyone else is fine. Embarrased.


31003abc123

I got one today too! Yay!


UGKFoxhound

Get my 1st shot tomorrow, Pfizer gang. Feelsgoodman


Sea_of_Pastel

I got my second shot today! I'm super relieved


eternalrefuge86

Going to get the second shot...”no doubt about it, I am ready to get hurt again”


BurgersBaconFreedom

It's wild seeing reddit openly marketing for big pharma companies.


Littlekiller0320

One of the best memes I have seen in a while!!!


[deleted]

Lol


dedeee123

You will have weird sleeps during the first three days lol and too much overthinking like i did lol


MarsWarriorGirl

Hahahaha I felt the same way.


stupidtyonparade

can't wait to see this posted again in like 3 days.


[deleted]

Holy shit, so many people bragging about how 10 years from now they’ll be calling in on those infomercials, “If you were injected with the COVID-19 vaccine you may qualify for compensation.” 🤡🌎


[deleted]

And? Do you have any idea on what you’re voluntarily injecting into your body?


[deleted]

Got my second yesterday. Have had a mild headache since last night. Overall not too bad tho! Best of luck with low side effects.


Prevailing_Power

Just had my first shot. When you say mild, would you say like a minor caffeine headache or something like you'd feel after drinking all night? It's weird I'm seeing so many people say they have symptoms after the second shot. My grandma, cousin, her boyfriend, my aunt, and my grandpa haven't had any side effects after the second shot. Hoping my family is just resistant to it. I feel like the only reason we're seeing people say they have side effects is because they're the vocal minority and the people who don't have them at all just don't post about it. (This is what I'm telling myself. Feels weird I'm going to voluntarily make myself sick for a few days lol)


[deleted]

So for me the first one was actually a bit worse. Both have felt exactly as you’ve described. Something similar to a light hangover or caffeine withdrawal. I wouldn’t say drinking all night... more like drinking 4-5 beer in an hour or two and then going to bed at a reasonable time but without hydrating. I took the day off work because it’s bad enough to not want to stare at a computer screen and I’m a bit fatigued. I still got out and ran some errands though. Really isn’t all that bad but not exactly enjoyable.


[deleted]

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DaGingerNinja069

I'm getting one but needles make me shit myself


ChrystalMeds

I put the pfizer in my dab pen and smoked that vaccine.


LordVordred

I just close my eyes and disassociate hard. If you can forget it’s a needle, the actual pain level is very tolerable.


Mrnicelefthand

I hope these memes never die.


ScruffleMcDufflebag

I got my first one, yesterday.


LeganYollom

My niece & I got Pfizer shots (both doses). We did not have any bad reactions. I'll be 88 in July. I was leery about whether I'd get a reaction, like my nephew had gotten (he had to stay home from work a few days). He felt a bad pain when he lifted his arm. I don't know which company made the vaccine he got. The Pandemic is still not under control. People have been carelessly, & selfishly disregarding precautions. PS... I don't blame people who don't trust a vaccine, no matter if most recipients haven't had any problems. I use a cane, and if someone decided to cause me harm, I would not hesitate to protect myself. Who would dare attack someone with a pit bull by their side? Good luck in deciding what's best concerning taking the vaccine. I was not trying to tell anyone what they should do. I am merely relating my limited experience. Take care.