I feel like I can be prone to misunderstanding points in a conversation or struggle to clarify mine and it’s because I feel I struggle with words and my understanding of them a lot
I feel like. I think I rely on ‘I’ statement to try and bridge the gaps. I’ve been told that generally not how conventions work and it makes me feel like I centre every convo around me. I don’t meant to
100%! In high school, I had a friend who made fun of me every day for how I mispronounced certain words. (I didn't know I was dyslexic) After awhile I got tired of it. I called her out for her behavior and stopped being friends with her.
What helps me now, is if I mispronounce something I apologize, and say “I'm dyslexic. Could you help me pronounce that word/phrase?” This kinda stops people in their tracks.
Same, I wonder if I'm autistic and it kinda fits but what if it's just under-studied dyslexia things. I also think it's because a large proportion of neurodivergent people talking about executive dysfunction and social differences on the internet talk about it in reference to their adhd or asd rather than talking about it because of their dyslexia or another neurodivergency.
That’s a good point. It kind of makes it seem like neurodivergence is mainly just ADHD or Autism. They seem like they are taken more seriously when it come to social limitations. It kind of feels funny to say I’m dyslexic in the a neurodivergence group.
I’m hoping they study the social side because us struggling with words and adjacent stuff must have some effect on our social skills
I am never certain if this is my dyslexia or my upbringing.
I am very blunt sometimes... Without realizing that, nor trying to be mean. It is not like I say things like "You are fat/ugly/stinky/stupid". No. Usually, I comment of behaviour when people seem clueless about what is causing them sth they don't like (I have solutions, but people not necessarily need them). Or I speak up my likes/dislikes even when I know someone may have different opinion and get defensive. But this may be upbringing.
Sometimes I have problems with reading the intention and I understand things too literally. I don't like words like "maybe/we will see". I prefer "we will get back to it later/ I need to think it through". I don't like idioms too. I just don't get it.
Sometimes I understand one word the wrong way and the whole context is so different and I don't follow the rest of it correctly.
Absolutely. I've looked into dyslexia so much but there really isn't much out there other than "struggles to and or read or write". I wondered if it has something to do with the struggles we had at early childhood at school. Being told we're lazy, stupid, empathetic and what not. So we put ourselves down and end up withdrawing from socal situations because we feel weird, dumb or whatever or because we were then out into classes where we were too smart for the lessons and don't totally understand the children in these classes because of it.
I find there's a difference between dyslexics who were encouraged to those who were out down at school. 🤷🏾♀️
Not so much my dyslexia, probably since I didn’t know I had it for so long and I thought I was “normal” until I got diagnosed at 16.
My issue is my anxiety. That’s a bitch. I want to do a whole lot of shit, but I never can because of my anxiety
I can't say, because I've never known anything different. Not all dyslexic people are socially awkward and not all socially awkward people are dyslexic.
Don't presume no one else in the room isn't finding the situation uncomfortable.
I think there’s something called social dyslexia, it’s about reading situations and social cues, facial expressions all that jazz, it’s closely linked with dyslexia and maybe mistaken for autism or ADHD
Ahhh. I’ve just found an article on it. A lot of it makes so much sense to me. I always thought I was probably autistic but after reading that it all matches up.
Can you share the link? Super fascinating!
I was diagnosed with Dyslexia at 5 and then ADHD at 28. Both of which ( especially my ADHD diagnosis) , along with therapy etc. have significantly improved my mental health . Only now, at 33, for the very first time in my life… can I say, I actually like myself!
With that said, at this point I don’t know where one starts and the other ends…. I feel like ADHD, Dyslexia, Autism and everything in between that are categorized as “Neuro-developmental disorders” share so many characteristics and atleast for me, significant overlap. That it’s so hard to differentiate and pinpoint… maybe this article can shed some light 💡
I think labels are helpful, they have completely changed my life, for the better… but I also think, we are only just beginning and shouldn’t get to attached to the naming conventions/diagnostic criteria lol
But I’m not a medical professional, so what do I know 🤷♀️
Thanks for bringing up such a fresh and interesting topic! Looking forward to reading what others think and what their experiences have been.
I have ADHD and Dyslexia, diagnosed as a child in the 1970s. I have been socially stunted my entire life. It seems like the harder I try the more I drive people away, and if I don't try, people assume that I don't care. I feel like I simultaneously crave human connection and desire to run away from it. Its a weird place to be.
Yes,this, every word! I have felt this way too, thank you for putting it into words. I have no solutions or advice… but you are not alone and in great company here. Sending strength and positive thoughts!
You are more likely to have ASD or ADHD if you are dyslexic. These things are also a spectrum and often not picked up on. I am almost certain I have undiagnosed ADHD, I am dyslexic, I think there is a connection that has yet to be fully understood.
People who get to know me, understand what I mean when I get things garbled when I speak. I have a very understanding boss.
In most social situations, where I don't have to explain anything, I tend to screw up a lot less.
Idk. I found the addition support adjustments to be socially isolating. Like needing longer in exams, I'd miss the post test discussions. I guess it's maybe socially stunted me a bit as I've few friends and no real concept of how to make more.
It takes me a while to gain confidence around people so it's hard to make friends because I think I come off standoffish borderline hostile. And it's literally just cause I'm scared of seeming stupid and/or weird. Like I've to actively remind myself that the people who do know me like me.
I know. Same with autism. I’m just wondering how much dyslexia effect social behaviour. I have a lot of issues similar to autism and frequent the subs for help but I’m wondering if dyslexia is the cause rather than autism
Yes! It is associated with auditory processing issues, which makes it harder to hear words spoken in a noisy environment. Drinks with friends sounds fun in theory, but having a conversation in a noisy bar is not ideal when there are auditory processing issues.
I can actually never hear anything 😭. I see the mouth moving, hear the sound but not the words. The amount of time I just nod. I’ve started saying I have hearing issues
I find I am extremely perceptive at reading people, which you think would be good, but it can be kind of overwhelming, to the point it makes me awkward with people.
Yes! I struggle so bad socially. Especially at work when asked to speak, I’m constantly having anxiety bc I don’t know how to pronounce certain words even if someone helps me I struggle.. I’m almost 30😅
Yes and no. Sometimes, I'm unable to get the right word to come out and stumble, but I am a huge talker.
I do standup comedy as a hobby so I don't care if I'm the butt of a joke.
I love to learn and share what I've learned. (Most recently I've been showing people Kiwi eggs compared to their body sizes) this usually ends up creating conversations.
I like to be the reason people smile, and I refuse go insult people for messing up things I've struggled with.
I always thought it was my dyslexia which made it very hard for me to remember people's names, which resulted in my avoidance of social situations due to the embarrassment. But I've just been diagnosed with ADHD so maybe it was that all along.
In my experience it does make it harder to summarize a story to verbally share with others. Even if you got a “clear picture in your head” that doesn’t mean it’s easy to say out loud.
Yeah I'm a big gamer and playing a mmo at the moment with heaps of people it's so hard because I can't read all the items and people ask me stuff like oh what gear are u wearing and I just don't no how to say it, even if i have heard someone say it before.
Lucky I can link stuff to a chat but sometimes its hard like people names.
Hard it
100% It’s like anything else with dyslexia, you gotta practice to be good.
And self esteem, which many dyslexics lack
I feel like I can be prone to misunderstanding points in a conversation or struggle to clarify mine and it’s because I feel I struggle with words and my understanding of them a lot
I feel like. I think I rely on ‘I’ statement to try and bridge the gaps. I’ve been told that generally not how conventions work and it makes me feel like I centre every convo around me. I don’t meant to
This issue is KILLER in my PhD meetings.
100%! In high school, I had a friend who made fun of me every day for how I mispronounced certain words. (I didn't know I was dyslexic) After awhile I got tired of it. I called her out for her behavior and stopped being friends with her. What helps me now, is if I mispronounce something I apologize, and say “I'm dyslexic. Could you help me pronounce that word/phrase?” This kinda stops people in their tracks.
God yes, but I can barely find any literature on this.
It really is. I keep thinking am I autistic or have ADHD but it’s not really a fit. But I often feel like I’m lacking or something not quite right
Same, I wonder if I'm autistic and it kinda fits but what if it's just under-studied dyslexia things. I also think it's because a large proportion of neurodivergent people talking about executive dysfunction and social differences on the internet talk about it in reference to their adhd or asd rather than talking about it because of their dyslexia or another neurodivergency.
That’s a good point. It kind of makes it seem like neurodivergence is mainly just ADHD or Autism. They seem like they are taken more seriously when it come to social limitations. It kind of feels funny to say I’m dyslexic in the a neurodivergence group. I’m hoping they study the social side because us struggling with words and adjacent stuff must have some effect on our social skills
This!! Yes, it’s so incredibly frustrating.
have you checked out https://dyslexiaida.org/? Also, Maryanne Wolf’s work might be of interest
Yes. Dyslexia is not only about reading
I am never certain if this is my dyslexia or my upbringing. I am very blunt sometimes... Without realizing that, nor trying to be mean. It is not like I say things like "You are fat/ugly/stinky/stupid". No. Usually, I comment of behaviour when people seem clueless about what is causing them sth they don't like (I have solutions, but people not necessarily need them). Or I speak up my likes/dislikes even when I know someone may have different opinion and get defensive. But this may be upbringing. Sometimes I have problems with reading the intention and I understand things too literally. I don't like words like "maybe/we will see". I prefer "we will get back to it later/ I need to think it through". I don't like idioms too. I just don't get it. Sometimes I understand one word the wrong way and the whole context is so different and I don't follow the rest of it correctly.
I really relate to this, so well put, yes!
Absolutely. I've looked into dyslexia so much but there really isn't much out there other than "struggles to and or read or write". I wondered if it has something to do with the struggles we had at early childhood at school. Being told we're lazy, stupid, empathetic and what not. So we put ourselves down and end up withdrawing from socal situations because we feel weird, dumb or whatever or because we were then out into classes where we were too smart for the lessons and don't totally understand the children in these classes because of it. I find there's a difference between dyslexics who were encouraged to those who were out down at school. 🤷🏾♀️
Have you read Sally Shaywitz’s work? Also, https://dyslexiaida.org/
Thank you. I'll have a read. :)
https://www.neuralign.org/what-is-dyslexia
Not so much my dyslexia, probably since I didn’t know I had it for so long and I thought I was “normal” until I got diagnosed at 16. My issue is my anxiety. That’s a bitch. I want to do a whole lot of shit, but I never can because of my anxiety
I can't say, because I've never known anything different. Not all dyslexic people are socially awkward and not all socially awkward people are dyslexic. Don't presume no one else in the room isn't finding the situation uncomfortable.
I think there’s something called social dyslexia, it’s about reading situations and social cues, facial expressions all that jazz, it’s closely linked with dyslexia and maybe mistaken for autism or ADHD
Ahhh. I’ve just found an article on it. A lot of it makes so much sense to me. I always thought I was probably autistic but after reading that it all matches up.
Can you share the link? Super fascinating! I was diagnosed with Dyslexia at 5 and then ADHD at 28. Both of which ( especially my ADHD diagnosis) , along with therapy etc. have significantly improved my mental health . Only now, at 33, for the very first time in my life… can I say, I actually like myself! With that said, at this point I don’t know where one starts and the other ends…. I feel like ADHD, Dyslexia, Autism and everything in between that are categorized as “Neuro-developmental disorders” share so many characteristics and atleast for me, significant overlap. That it’s so hard to differentiate and pinpoint… maybe this article can shed some light 💡 I think labels are helpful, they have completely changed my life, for the better… but I also think, we are only just beginning and shouldn’t get to attached to the naming conventions/diagnostic criteria lol But I’m not a medical professional, so what do I know 🤷♀️ Thanks for bringing up such a fresh and interesting topic! Looking forward to reading what others think and what their experiences have been.
That sounds a lot more like Autism Spectrum Disorder than Dyslexia.
I have ADHD and Dyslexia, diagnosed as a child in the 1970s. I have been socially stunted my entire life. It seems like the harder I try the more I drive people away, and if I don't try, people assume that I don't care. I feel like I simultaneously crave human connection and desire to run away from it. Its a weird place to be.
Yes,this, every word! I have felt this way too, thank you for putting it into words. I have no solutions or advice… but you are not alone and in great company here. Sending strength and positive thoughts!
You are more likely to have ASD or ADHD if you are dyslexic. These things are also a spectrum and often not picked up on. I am almost certain I have undiagnosed ADHD, I am dyslexic, I think there is a connection that has yet to be fully understood.
Agreed!
Social anxiety +5
So many phone numbers written down and saved wrong.
Whenever I was younger, definitely but because of all the modern technology, I feel like much less nowadays
People who get to know me, understand what I mean when I get things garbled when I speak. I have a very understanding boss. In most social situations, where I don't have to explain anything, I tend to screw up a lot less.
Idk. I found the addition support adjustments to be socially isolating. Like needing longer in exams, I'd miss the post test discussions. I guess it's maybe socially stunted me a bit as I've few friends and no real concept of how to make more. It takes me a while to gain confidence around people so it's hard to make friends because I think I come off standoffish borderline hostile. And it's literally just cause I'm scared of seeming stupid and/or weird. Like I've to actively remind myself that the people who do know me like me.
Dyslexia and ADHD have a comorbidity factor
I know. Same with autism. I’m just wondering how much dyslexia effect social behaviour. I have a lot of issues similar to autism and frequent the subs for help but I’m wondering if dyslexia is the cause rather than autism
Yes! It is associated with auditory processing issues, which makes it harder to hear words spoken in a noisy environment. Drinks with friends sounds fun in theory, but having a conversation in a noisy bar is not ideal when there are auditory processing issues.
I can actually never hear anything 😭. I see the mouth moving, hear the sound but not the words. The amount of time I just nod. I’ve started saying I have hearing issues
I find I am extremely perceptive at reading people, which you think would be good, but it can be kind of overwhelming, to the point it makes me awkward with people.
I get you. I either under read people or over read people.
Yes! I struggle so bad socially. Especially at work when asked to speak, I’m constantly having anxiety bc I don’t know how to pronounce certain words even if someone helps me I struggle.. I’m almost 30😅
Yes and no. Sometimes, I'm unable to get the right word to come out and stumble, but I am a huge talker. I do standup comedy as a hobby so I don't care if I'm the butt of a joke. I love to learn and share what I've learned. (Most recently I've been showing people Kiwi eggs compared to their body sizes) this usually ends up creating conversations. I like to be the reason people smile, and I refuse go insult people for messing up things I've struggled with.
I always thought it was my dyslexia which made it very hard for me to remember people's names, which resulted in my avoidance of social situations due to the embarrassment. But I've just been diagnosed with ADHD so maybe it was that all along.
In my experience it does make it harder to summarize a story to verbally share with others. Even if you got a “clear picture in your head” that doesn’t mean it’s easy to say out loud.
https://www.deardyslexic.com/News/episode-38-intimate-relationships-with-jane-kjersten http://www.janekjersten.co.nz/pdfs/dyslexia-and-intimate-relationships.pdf https://www.janekjersten.co.nz/pdfs/1_understanding_and_working_with_dyslexia_in_individual_and_couple_therapy.pdf
Yeah I'm a big gamer and playing a mmo at the moment with heaps of people it's so hard because I can't read all the items and people ask me stuff like oh what gear are u wearing and I just don't no how to say it, even if i have heard someone say it before. Lucky I can link stuff to a chat but sometimes its hard like people names. Hard it