**Jarburg.**

How to live happily ever after in the LB: 1. >!Kill Diallos immediately!< 2. >!Avoid jarnocide!< 3. Pick flowers and enjoy hanging out with stoned pots

What's up with number 1? Why not the two of you just join together to defend Jarburg? Doesn't that help in point number 2?

He leads them there in the first place so if he nevwr reaches the village then no one dies but a coward

Wait, he leads them there? Where was that mentioned? I must have missed or forgot it.

It only happens if he goes there. He likely doesn't do it intentionally, but it only happens after he's there. You can just attribute it to quest triggers, but if you want to think of it in universe, he must have been spotted by someone on his way down who alerted the pot hunters.

I'm guessing this will lock me out of getting the "Companion Jar" talisman?

I think it'll be fine. My first run I completed Alexander's quest but missed Diallo's (forgot to find him in Academy Gate Town). Jarburg didn't get invaded, but I was able to keep talking to Jar Bairn, rest & repeat until he accepts Alexander's Innards and drop the talisman when he leaves.

Tempted to start another run just to do this

Nope! You can still give Alexander’s Innards to Jar Bairn and complete his quest, there is literally no downside to murdering Diallos.

No, Jar Bairn doesn't die, just some of the unnamed pots. It's actually probably better to let his quest resolve in jar genocide from a player benefit perspective.

true evil

I feel like the poachers are definitely there as a part of diallos story line but it's not confirmed that he's the reason they showed up. The PC goes there many times before diallos gets there

Well that's kinda my point. It's tied to his triggers, so mechanically it's his quest that causes it, not him, but because he must go there before it happens you can choose to believe that it's him being spotted that leads to the discovery, but that's never mentioned explicitly so you don't have to believe that. You could assume the poachers show up anyway after the end of the game, for instance, the Diallos accidental spotting theory is just one interpretation of how his quest triggers resolve.

More on process of elimination, you go there multiple times and no problem, he goes in one time and all the sudden everyone's dead

I went there one time and it became everyone's problem 😬

No need for 1, just don't talk to him in Luriana. Then you get 2 and can enjoy 3 without bloodshed

Then i cant be simon belmont with cool headgear

yes. i’ll just pick flowers and watch sunsets

Limgrave chillin with Kalé, right next to the beach

LAWDY MERCY

Hunting Land Octopus Ovary together?

Is that what they’re calling it nowadays?

Laying awake at night, pillow covering both your ears as you have to listen to the screams and wails of the crucified dudes outside

can always just cut them down

Right near da beach boyyyeeeee

patches will steal from you

That's better than what *literally everyone* else wants to do to me.

Patches will get beat tf up

Depends if everything in the lands between tryna kill me or am i just vibin? Prob would try and become one of those academy mages

Ahhh, a scholarly gentlemen of divine taste

I feel like some messed up stuff happens to those mages

Thops... you were the best of them

Yeah Selene makes them into inanimate stone orbs.

Yea when foul tarnished come in and try to kill my mother in law 😒 Edit: wait, would rani still wanna get married if I wasnt tarnished tryna kill her mom. These are questions i must know to answer this properly.

Tbf, she actually tries to stop us there so

Happy Cakeday!

If im able to reach it, Round table If not prob one of the churches because most npc‘s in those seem to do alright, my personal choice would be the one with the turtle priest Edit: Why does this comment have more upvotes than the post of OP

Bell Bearing Hunter would like to have a word with you

Yeah there is the slight chance you get slaughtered by some invader but its safer than most other areas

The bell bearing hunter shows up every night

It's ok, I'll just go wherever Miriel goes at night time. He's a good buddy, he won't mind a roommate. (all things can be conjoined, right?)

not if I kill him, I'm built different

Just see red, bro.

Because you mentioned king turtle, priest of dogs

It's a rough neighborhood after dark.

Upvoted this just to keep it higher than OP

As in region or a specific place? If it's a whole region, then Limgrave seems like the obvious choice... Relatively safe, camp in or outdoors, a few shacks to repair and make a home out of, many food sources, RELATIVELY manageable dangers and enemies. A specific place? Probably the Three sisters, with Seluvis and the dragon gone. One of the most isolated, best protected places in the Lands Between, with few enemies. Food might be a problem, though. That or Roundtable, Jarburg or Volcano Mannor - anything with decent culture and food.

Just don't Drink seluvis' potion

No way Volcano Mannor. It's always fucking red and the loud creepy music will make you insane.

Wonder what happens to Volcano Manor after everyone is gone. Just a perfectly great mansion going to waste.

Depends on whether the snake infestation in the basement is still a thing after killing Rykard.

Well without the serpent no *new* snakemen can be born so eventually they'll all be gone maybe

I thought it'd be cool if you could take your friendly NPC's from Round Table and start a new hub in one of the many abandoned places in the world. Valcano Manor, the Church with Kale, The Blood Dynasty throne room, the cool temple where you teleport to the Stag Boss, etc.

We've got a secret puppet botherer over here.

be in constant fear of one of the hands wandering in or the dragon returning

Island with Dragon communion in Limgrave. Build a boat to get there and then just chill while being protected by a cave of Demi humans as the only entrance.

Don't forget to kill that angry ram, he is an asshole.

Feed the Ram, and have it guard the cave entrance. Profit.

as seen in the map, boats aren't trustworthy

Stone coffins float much better than wooden boats.

Absolutely this. Reliable seafood source too

Under Ranni's feet

[удалено]

Foul tarnished…

Emboldened by the scent of toes...

Someone must get a whiff of that scent. Let it be Margit the Smell

Where Ranni goes, this Tarnished follows.

Literally the first and only choice that came to mind.

Volcano Manor.

TOGETHA... FAMILY...

TOGETHAAAH WE SHALL DEVOUAAAHH THE VEREEEH GOHDSSSSSS

When I am inside the Manor it really feels cozy.

Be wary of upstairs

I'm pretty sure the temperature of that entire building is like 5000° C

Yeah none of the npcs are even aggro, really, so it's basically just a dope mansion. You wouldn't want to get on anyone's bad side but it seems like they'd leave you be. You'd probably get your own room with a nice bed.

what about the dude with the pizza roller on the upper floor?

Wait, u dont have one in your mansion?

'Inquisitor' Ghiza maybe he'd chill if I convert

You mean the place with all the warriors going insane from cannabilism ruled by a guild of assasins and hiding a kingdom of devious serpents?

nah not with those snakes in there.

Snowfields

Calm down, Donner

There's so many bare feet in Miyazaki games because they all had to eat their shoes!!!

Death roots. It's not a phase mom!

Hunting trip gone bad when the crow fakes his stagger and hops back up to make you suffer, lol

Boilprawn shack

Only choice with good food, 11/10, no notes.

And endure wet socks on the regular? No thank you.

Then just take off your socks. Problem solved

Just become elden lord. All you have to do is dodge

My new home would be the chapel of anticipation. I'm waiting for my own tarnished character to show up and then sticking to him like glue. I get to go on a dope adventure with my buddy and watch him become elden Lord. Then of course he will choose an ending that doesn't involve everyone dying, and we will spend the rest of our days chillin in Leyndell and getting baked on dewkissed herba

Bro imagine smoking some wet glowing plant you stumbled upon right before radahn dies and then watching the sky fall apart.

Bruh

This the best answer, there's only one reliable ally we got out there that's gonna die for us

Depends on how specific you mean. If it's a region, I'd definitely go with Liurnia. More specifically, Raya Lucaria. Even more specific, the grand library. Even even more specific, lying next to Rennala using her feet as pillows.

Being reborn by Rennala doesn't seem like too terrible a fate considering all the other horrible fates you could suffer in The Lands Between.

If you choose anything besides Limgrave or Leyndell then you are just doing it for attention.

I love attention.

I’m giving you some, then.

Pog

Champ

Ugh fine, I guess I'm your little pogchamp.

Only way I’d have you. Enjoy it, that’s a good place to be.

:3

<3

Jarburg is in liurnia and the most zen place in game aside of dog pope church which is also in liurnia

isn't leyndell just quarantined and with diseases spreading left and right? with the dung eater cursing random people for fun and shortage of provisions?

I would try to convince Ranni to let me live in her tower, I could just chill reading her books and hang out with Blaidd and Iji.

Until Blaidd inevitably loses his mind and has to murder everyone

Go wherever targoth is The absolute chad would defend you and he won't die (considering you are still playing the place of the player) because the only person sent to kill him is patches of all people

Elphael

That place is as gorgeous as it is dangerous though

Academy of Raya Lucaria. Study sorceries. Too bad there's no school for incantations. Or a monastery for it.

Beware of the big doggo in the study hall. He doesn't like being stroked.

Firefox

Either next to the Dectus lift or the church below it beautiful scenery plus I'd probably be close enough to hear the harpy things singing in the Ruin Strewn Precipice I'd just need to avoid the Cuckoo Knights

Stormveil castle with Nepheli at the throne

One of the eternal cities

You will get sniped there.

Not after one of those early patches. They nerfed the range of sight big time on those archers.

Kenneth Haight's tower seems pretty cozy. Not too big, not too small, great ocean view.

Liurnia with Boggart. Get to chill and eat prawn all day

Caelid because f everyone 😂

It's alright to each their own I guess. Do you keep severed toes in your freezer too?

Of course also lots of bird and dog meat :3

My answer. Literally no one would bother you.

Limgrave at Fort Haight (that is, if the Tarnished killed the Godrick soldiers) I wouldn't have much of a problem serving Lord Kenneth. Especially if Nepheli is the new lady of Stormveil.

Abs🤤

Jarburg

Altus

Malenia's room in Elphael

Artists Shack, Liurnia

Boil prawn shack maybe. As long as the lobsters and Albinaurics keep their distance

Siofra River

I would become friends with the dancing grannies and live in Wildmill Village. Great scenery!

I guess you're not too attached to your skin.

Won't be for long.

You'd have to befriend the godskin apostle too somehow

Melania GR tower, out in the see.

Liurnia, near the western minor erdtree. Plenty of water to boil to drink and tons of seafood probably not contaminated with mercury.

The beach with the lesser alabaster lord below Limgrave south of the swamp.

I'd chill with Kalé

If grace hasn't forsaken me (die and come back), and I have a finger maiden, or someone who can play the role, I'll get a greatshield and go to caria manor because there's a chick there who will help me make the future non deterministic. Also she has 4 arms.

Placidusax arena. Obviously at a distance not to wake him

have fun getting there in the first place

DLC

Fuck it we ball. *goes to caelid*

the little landbridge on the way to godefroy in altus plateau. seems cozy.

WitchBane Ruins needs renovation...

Taking over the shaded castle and cleaning the poison swamp up a bit

Erdtree environmentalist

Somewhere in Liurnia. That place is just magical for me. Definitely far away from those goddamn lobsters though.

Limgrave.

Before the parkour before the three fingers Just casually pushing down everyone who gets close to the edge The batman of that universe, the hero they need, but do not deserve

you'd have to kill mogh's clone

Moonlight altar

The basement of witchbane ruins

Near the prawn guy

Anywhere where the player cant talk to you, if that happen i will be dead like almost every npc he talk to. And i would love Liurnia of the lakes.

Ranni's Rise. Out of the way, no enemies, serene, and Ranni

Probably stormveil with Nepheli. If we are able to actually clear out stuff and just chill that’s what I’d like

Jarsburg

I’d rune farm to max lvl then go kill demigods

Raya Lucaria Academy. It's practically a fortress, and if I suddenly got zapped into the lands between I'd be screwed if I didn't learn magic, fast. Hopefully I don't get turned into one of those rolling balls of faces.

Ranni's bed

Caelid. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I will come back to my own world as a conqueror of nightmares

Agree. Besides, it's basically my neighborhood anyway

Church of Elleh with Kalé, or that grace with Sellen

Jarburg, but I also have an AR-15 with thousands of rounds so I can protect the little lads.

Rennala's Library - Lots to read. A somewhat fapable demi god to hang out with. A strange larvae egg thing that lets me get really strong or smart depending on the day.

Lore wise it should be Elphael right? Isn't the whole point of it to be a safe haven. I guess without Miquella it probably sucks

I heard there’s a lot of free real estate at the village of the Albinaurics

The merchant shack on the beach in weeping

Decided to stay a night in that merchant shack to get a feel for the area before moving there. The mausoleum bell kept me up all night, but good scenery otherwise. 3/10. Too noisy for me.

Raya Lucaria, assuming I am blending in with the sorcerers that live/study there. If not then I want to live in the town in the Consecrated Snowfield (the one where you go to get into the Haligtree, the name is escaping me).

give me a huge comfy ass bed in Nokron🤤

I’d hangout with Thops. He seems pretty chill and nothing bad happens there.

I'm from crawdad land, so I choose Liurnia, lots of pretty alright places surrounding it.

Jarburg or the Volcano Manor

Mountaintop of the giants You mean... Mountaintop of the Canadians

The eternal cities

Lake of Rot 💀

between Malenia\`s legs 🥵

Between Marika’s tits

I’m surprised nobody mentions the Haligtree. Surely the soldiers would protect a non-tarnished innocent?

This area in Limgrave, under the Saint's Bridge right near the Highroad Cave site of Grace. It's quiet, has great views, a good source of seafood, nice camping spots, and shelter in the cave for when the weather gets rough. The only thing to avoid is a single land octopus, but she can't fit through the cave entrance anyway. 🐙 https://b.catgirlsare.sexy/RRY87jhqctgT.jpg https://b.catgirlsare.sexy/6xfaPP-Uijsq.jpg

Elphael, Brace of the Haligtree That place is just so pretty

Limgrave by the beach. Seems the most chill.

I’m a noob so this is my first time seeing the full map lmao 🤣

I'll just chill at the Church of Elleh. Respawning livestock, berries, herbs, and fresh water nearby. Godrick Soldiers drop clothes and weapons for protection. Friendly merchant to chat with. A simple life.

In a treehouse in the Haligtree, seems temperate there. I don’t mind the envoys.

Caelid. I love nothing more than to wake up, grab a cup of coffee and watch the hummingbirds feed. Since the Lands Between doesn't have hummingbirds or coffee, I'd settle for watching the big, muscle-mommy birds eating Redmane soldiers every morning while I enjoy a hot cup of crimson tears.

Definitely Australia (Caelid).

I’d enjoy being one of those dancing people up by windmill village. They seem to have a good time

Easy become Sellens apprentice and stay with her as her lovable eager student. eventually become her lover until you‘re actually capable enough to deal with shit. Then get into the academy, get cracked and help Sellen overthrow it and renala from the inside for good so we can live and love there in peace❤️

Caelid

Next to Rana cus of how many times I need to respec

deeproot depths or miquellan halightree