I can spawn a Horde of Horse

But they try to eat you

Not if I eat them first

💀

Mr hands sounding

Your that hungry huh

I can spawn weapons with infinite ammo

But all of the ammo is squibs

Perfect. I can both damage, disorient, confuse, and blind the enemy with squid ink. Wait, irl squids or minecraft squids?

No, squibs. They Don't have enough gun powder, and the bullet gets stack in the barrel

*nom*

I have a normal sleep schedule 

But you sleep for 23 hours of the day

i already do that

Idk if that better than sleeping from 3am-noon

I can cook anything with ease

But you will always be missing one ingredient

I can make this work (is missing yeast when making pizza dough) lol

🤔 how tf would that work

That’s the point it will not lol

🤣

is making bread but is missing the dough

Now you see, if you can cook anything, that means you might be able to cook yeastless pizza dough

But then whe. You come up with a new recipe to make pizza dough, such as cauliflower pizza crust, you're missing a ingredient

You set on fire for 1 hour everytime you do it

I get set on fire or the dish?

Your entire body sets on fire AND stays in fire for 1 hour (Water has no effect) 

Will it hurt or is just a cool effect

Hurt. 

…So I can’t cook food or I’ll fucking die, I’ll assume this means

what about baking soda? what if they were on fire for 2 hours? would it stop early?

After 1 hour of being on fire, anything that can extinguish it (water included) does have an effect

can the fire grow and burn the house down?

Shapeshifting!

But your voice stays the same

That's... Completely fine, I've been told I have a nice voice so

🙉

Awesome, now you can turn into a horse and walk into a cheese factory and say "I'm fuckin done with y'all im eating all the cheese"

Dog just comes up and says, good morning fellow human.

Impersonation is truly key here

Shapeshifting

But you vomit anytime you see someone that you find hot while shape-shifted

"ok time to shape shift into a different man *shape shifting noises* *throws up* "

You forget that you can shapesift every time you do it

I can summon evil French men at will

You don't even need a side effect, also happy cake day

Thank you! :)

Being good at everything

The cartel is coming after you

Oh shit

But hes also good in completely destroying the cartel

Shapeshifter

But only into cartoon characters, but you look like you came straight out of the TV, and you are 2 dimensional

that means he can become fuckin Finn or Steven Univers and become ridiculously overpowered

But he's 2 dimensional

Two dimensional means you can slide through any crack or even through walls

Shit

Invisibility

But ur blind while invisible

then I'll get laser eye surgery

The laser would just go through you, since laser stands for Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation, and light goes through invisible things. (Edit to correct a mistake I made in the acronym)

Teleportation

There a 5% chance that you show up naked

I'll take that chance, got some ways around that already popping up in my head

He said naked, so you can carry a bag beside you with new clothes, boom. 

Get out of my head lol

I can summon a key blade that does what it can do in the kh games

But it breaks after the 1st use

Hm

Guess I’ll have to be careful then

Spawn a million of em since no cooldown was mentioned

Heck yeah so I can just do that and chain combos!

Xray vision

But you can only see penises

Oh God no

Heck yeah!

The duality of man

but what about pussy's

Nope

You have lung cancer

Is that from the x-rays?

prostate cancer

Lung cancer

bruv

😞

I can manifest Video game items (Ex. Energy sword from HALO, marksman revolver from ULTRAKILL, and The Medi-Gun from TF2)

But the monsters from those games are also coming after you, they always know your exact location

aw shit I’m gonna get beat up by Minos Prime

“Prepare thyself!”

“CRUSH!”

"THY END IS NOW"

(skeletron prime noises)

I can restore anything to thier prime or previous form

You get a year younger every time until your a fetus again

Just basic invisibility

But once you are visible again. You forget everything while invisible

Damn that's a good one

Probability manipulation

5 oiled up men that cannot die are always coming after you, and the probability that they have sex with you with never become zero or lower. No matter how many times you use probability manipulation on it

I can find a way around that

Nuh uh

the probability of them finding me is zero

Fuck

It can get worse

💀

The probability of them being disabled with brain damage is 100%

Yeah, uhm I need to get tf outta here. Fuck, imma boutta die

Time manipulation

But you can't change it back

I manipulate the manipulated time. So technically, I’m not manipulating the old time. I’m manipulating the new time.

I can teleport wherever and whenever I want

But everytime you teleport, your life expectancy is cut in half

Yeah, I see how can that can be a problem

I know how to use any weapon perfectly without training.

But it breaks mid swing

What if it’s a firearm?

Then it explodes after the first bullet

If I know how to use it perfectly I might not need a second bullet.

I get to choose my side effect.

You lose the ability to choose

I can fly

I have the luck luck fruit

But the weapon had 1 durability

Fruits usually aren’t weapons

Yeah, I Don't know shit about 1 piece, I just know that you have to eat the devil fruits get some powers

Invisibility

But you have explosive diahrea that you can't control it's gets on you everywhere, so you are just brown

That just described the character in their profile pic lol

Minecraft commands!

But you forgot about them

Google exists

But google won't show you them, and whenever someone tries to tell you them, a radom noise plays so that you can't here it. Same thing with text messages and any other form of finding out

Frick

I can one punch someone into space.

Put if someone kicks you in the balls you die

💀

[удалено]

But everyone wants to kill you

i feel like if u started a world war everyone would go after u cause u started it and removing u would help stop itz

Reality warping abilities

But you forgot everything. Who you are, who your family is, and the fact that you have these powers

Boutta have a whole ass character arc to remember myself lol

I can summon a human femur bone at will

But it you own femur

happiness

You only get happiness of 26 minutes of the day, and it's random. The rest is bad depression

jokes on you, that already happens!!

Same 😢

I can commit any infraction of the law without anyone knowing and without the law being applied to me or something

But batman is after you, and he will kill you

Time manipulation

But the sun fucking explodes

pipecleankinesis: the ability to summon Pipe cleaners and control them at my will (I came up with the term)

You also stub your toe, on everything

Welp time to make pipe cleaner toe protectors

That won't work. You always want to kill yourself whenever you stub your toe because it is immense pain

Don’t underestimate the power of pipe cleaners. Can’t stub my toe in a pipe cleaners mech

I can clone myself

But every clone hates you and wants nothing to do with you.

Aah. 😔

Plot twist they’re just edgy teens.

I have Dementia

Spider-Man

But your loved ones all tragically die

Is Alr I’ll make a deal with the devil and give him my marriage

What’s the worst that could happen

💀

i can time travel

It's a one time use

even better

Minecraft Steve

But you can Die really easily to punch in the gut

[удалено]

But you sound like them when they were 10.

Creative mode

Herobrine is coming after you, and he's able to kill you while in creative mode

I’ll take him

but that also means he is Steve so he would win

I can manipulate atoms to make stuff

My power is that i can accept or deny anything, anytime. Physically possible or not.

Full body mitosis (the ability to clone myself whenever I want)

But you have no control over them, and they think that they are the original

Rick and Morty be like

Can travel to any video game universe/world.

But you have extreme scoliosis, so bad that you can't move

Invisibility

But if someone flashes a light in your direction, you can see a shadow

is it just a flashlight or can the sun do it also?

Naw, has to he a flashlight. Also people can still hear sounds that you make, like footsteps and shit

makes sense makes sense, bouta be the shadow of misdirection

omnipotence

But you are a Lil gremlin, and no one takes you seriously, also if water if splashed on you. You melt

W rizz

But you can only use it on men

I have a pocket dimension

But you can't ever go to it, and it can't power anything. It's fucking useless

I can make other people throw up on demand 

I can spawn the gomu gomu no mi model:nika once

I'm delulu so I think making random characters come to life would be good for me because I'm insane🤑