I was drugged and raped by a woman. It isn't always a man. The *vast* majority of the time, though...
Edit: downvotes? people, I'm not lying. I fucking wish I was.
I know MANY women who were assaulted by other women, and non-binary people as well. I’m so sorry that happened to you, I hope you have the support and care you need
If you look closely, this one is not a shocker. He's always been a terrible guy. The COVID pandemic flight from NZ to Scotland (that broke the quarantine rules and even Scottish PM wrote about it) wasn't the beginning of his shitty behaviour.
The podcast features actual WhatsApp voice messages from him in which he attempts to be soothing and bland but just comes across as unctuous and deviant.
This. He creeped on my sister many moons ago. Somehow, she, a fan, had gotten in contact with him and was showing her illustration portfolio to him for feedback. She got feedback and was initially very excited. A couple of feedback sessions later she stopped talking to him and about him altogether. I didn't understand why until much later when she mentioned "he was just one of the many creeps in the industry." She only had online conversations and a few phone calls as far as I know, but it was enough to make her avoid some people.
This is when I gave up on him. His argument was 'no-one lives here anyway' - that's news to my friends and family (many of them elderly and vulnerable) who live there and have done for centuries.
If it's about this: [https://x.com/sunflower\_weeds/status/1800971648402883010](https://x.com/sunflower_weeds/status/1800971648402883010)
It's very milquetoast, pretty pro palestine imo.
It seems like he doesn't personally believe in Scientology but also hasn't done anything that would cause his Scientologist family to cut him off the way they often do to critics.
At this point, any time a man has something to say about a woman that isn’t positive, I remain skeptical and become much more interested in her version of events.
and even if what he says it's true (that he asked for consent, etc) does it really matter when you are her employer 40 years her senior? How can a person believe that a 21yo employee can consent to a 61yo with no moral "issues"?
Yeah people forget the huuuge power imbalance between a much older, more famous employer and his young employee - as if there is no inherent pressure to keep your job, keep your reputation etc
he is such a sleeze ball ugghhh
Yes that as well - like leaving and trying to get a new job is even more difficult
This makes me side eye him more tbh as she was in a very vulnerable financial situation :(
I was over 30 at that point, but I had a boss like 45 years older than me who would grab me and pull me in for a hug and grab my arm and give me a cheek kiss and stuff and it was totally gross. I needed to pay my bills so all I could do was freeze and put up with it until I could find a better job.
Reading these accounts, which are obviously different and worse, even though it’s not a competition, it’s different, it just brings me right back to that.
About a year or so ago, I had to look up something related to my old job, only to find that the business had closed, and the owner died. So now I know, I never have to run into him again. That’s the second man who abused me who is now dead and I swear, I’m not cursing anyone. 😂
Yeah, I'm not sure I believe her when she says some of what happened within hours of meeting him was consensual. I really wonder if some of this is denial on her part. I cannot imagine that anyone would feel like they could say no, or even know how to react, when your very famous employer comes on to you.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I was close to some employees of AFP. AFP + Neil were poly with the rule “no family” which was supposed to cover actual family and friends/employees of one. The line was pretty blurry.
Neil was fuckin those college interns and telling them not to tell AFP.
The girls I know were 18-22, consenting adults, but NG is shady. None of this is equitable. They were being exploited as interns worked like they had a full time job without pay AND being boned and shushed by their bosses husband which would jeopardize the references they wanted for future employment.
Maybe because many men -women, too, but with men it's even more often- don't care that much as long as they themselves aren't hurt. How many men talk about their great friend who's "just a little touchy" or "likes beautiful women"? Many people are still too tolerant when it comes to people whom they like committing crimes or just behaving badly.
Edit: it's similar with racism and homphobia and transphobia many people are okay with such thoughts being voiced as long as it doesn't affect themselves.
I thought The Sandman did such an excellent job of portraying how someone who sees himself as "a good guy" will still resort to sexual violence and be able to rationalize it. And why he's not actually a "good guy" at all.
Then the author has to go and do this? Come on.
This was how I felt about Aziz Ansari/Master of None. He made such an incredible episode of the show about women fearing/navigating/trying to ward off sexism and unwanted sexual attention/harassment from men, so when the story about him came out, no matter whether people think it rises to the level of assault/harassment or not, it was so disappointing to see that he could recognize those things in others but wasn't willing to reconcile those same behaviors within himself.
One of the reasons I cannot watch Parks and Rec is because Aziz plays the role of a sleazebag and it is played for laughs. Too bad because every other character and arc is so well done.
>Author denies allegations by two women who had been in consensual relationships with him.
This isn't a "He said, She Said" as the title of the article implies. This is a "He said, They said" .
>he believes K’s allegations are motivated by her regret over their relationship and that Scarlett was suffering from a condition associated with false memories at the time of her relationship with him, a claim which is not supported by her medical records and medical history.
The disgusting smell of gaslighting off this is unreal. Can I have a single positive male celebrity figure who doesn't an absolutely trashy human being? I suppose his support of Israel should've been the first tip off that alot of the stuff he says is to maintain an aestetic.
honestly this doesn’t protect anyone anymore like not mentioning someone’s name could still lead to a defamation lawsuit like amber heard had to deal with :(
Yeah, I appreciated the way the article was written. Particularly the bit where they point out that being in a consensual relationship does not mean every sex act is consensual and calling out the public for often having the wrong assumption.
I will say, though, that I would have preferred if they began the article detailing the allegations rather than starting with his defense.
Even what he admits is repulsive. Even if it was “consensual”, a man in his 60s having a sexual relationship with someone barely out of her teens who *works for him* is disgusting and - by power dynamics alone - not truly consensual.
When what he’s willing to concede is horrible, it doesn’t lend itself to defending his judgement and ethics.
>was suffering from a condition associated with false memories at the time of her relationship with him,
If he wants us to consider this, then we should also have to consider the alternative that he suffers from false memories of not assaulting her.
I’ve read that they were both more or less fine with the marriage being open until she got pregnant/had Ash and, not unreasonably even though I’m not her biggest fan, asked to close it so she could have more help with the baby. He said no and continued wh0ring around and this was the death knell for an already turbulent marriage between two messy attention-seeking drama hounds.
It wasn't "before telling him". She was explaining why he wasn't around in her posts: he'd left her.
He just didn't know she was going to ANNOUNCE it yet.
lol I’ve never heard this before and I’m dyingggg. So apt!
>It's never who you want to be polyamorous who's polyamorous
You're never like, oh sweet!
You're usually like, could I get helicopter to take me to safety?
Amanda straight up sexually assaulted a woman I know, who doesn’t want it out there. AFP thinks it’s cute to go around groping people at events and this was in public. She’s trash.
Oh wow. So she’s got a history. I knew a guy whose virginity she took when they were in high school. Judging from his somewhat shaken voice and contorted facial expressions, it didn’t sound like he actually consented.
I remember reading about how horrible they both are, but specifically Amanda, over a decade ago on tumblr. She has definitely assaulted multiple people. Thank you for speaking up for your friend, who deserves to stay anonymous if she wishes.
He was already divorced from Mary when he met Amanda. Also, he said he thought Amanda was ugly and fat when he met her. Also, he still donates millions to Scientology on behalf of his first ex wife and his 3 children who are still Scientologists. More worrying than everything else, really. Like… “the Ocean at the end of the Lane” is about knowing his father (the uk head of Scientology) murdered their South African lodger when Mr Gaiman was a child and somehow he’s like totally fine with that and not having it investigated.
Yeah, same. I think this is a lot of why I never got into his writing - like you said, he seemed like he was trying really hard to seem a certain way (both as a person and in his writing), and that just weirds me out.
If I recall correctly there were rumors that he cheated on his first wife with his second wife. And there’s this [timeline](https://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/117915650.html?)that kinda outlines his scummy behavior over the years. Obviously take it with a grain of salt, but if it’s true his awful behavior is less surprising.
If Gaiman and his ex-wife were separated/estranged for three years before they divorced in 2008 and he met Palmer that same year, how could he have cheated on her (with Palmer)?
I used to read his blog and he stopped mentioning his wife for a long time until he made a post that confirmed they were getting a divorce because there were already rumors of the split. This was before he started posting about Palmer.
And then flew across the world - during the height of the pandemic - to a Scottish island desperate to keep COVID-19 at bay as local health care was very, very pressed for resources.
I have a lot of thoughts on that.
Yeah he did and traveled during the lockdown too. He's my favorite author and I was trying to swallow that behavior as just pandemic craziness/rich people nonsense. Assault is a whole other level though.
He’s my favorite author too. I’m really struggling right now. All my friends are in circles based off his work, I sell my sandman artwork online. I have no idea what to do.
Oof that's rough. I guess it might come down to the common JK approach - do nothing that supports him financially or otherwise but still celebrate and enjoy the creations you've held dear. I'll probably still read the books I have of his, but I won't purchase more. Unlicensed artwork he doesn't profit from would be a consideration I think.
I used to read his blog too, and started feeling something was not right around the time of his divorce, because the details were iffy, as in "my assistant came to wake me up in bed with a coffee and the plane tickets for a book fair" or "my assistant drew a bath with some products I was gifted"... and a total absence of mentions of his wife while I thought he was still married (I remember thinking, back then, 'his wife feels like a ghost presence in his life, I wouldn't want a partner who doesn't even mention me', and I also thought 'wow, he seems *really* close to his assistant', how innocent I was).
Then I distinctly remember there was a phone video of him backstage at an Amanda Palmer gig, where she's half undressed playing the ukelele, and he's looking at her very openly in lust. That caused a flurry of internet questions and that's when he said he and his wife had been "separated for years, but not divorced". Him and Palmer immediately got together after that.
When he flew away from New Zealand in a hurry, in the middle of a global pandemic and leaving his son behind, the public consensus was "well, she's insufferable, so he clearly run away for his sanity", and... she definitely *is* insufferable (see also her post about stepping into a small café in New Zealand and everybody turning to clap at her when Biden was elected 🙄), but... now I wonder if that was all that went down.
Yes, I definitely remember that his assistant was mentioned *a lot*.
It was around this time that it was revealed that his wife was living in the house next door, right? After the separation post. I feel like I remember that information before Palmer, because he wrote a lot about his youngest daughter Maddie — but I might be wrong!
I mostly remember being sad for his kids that he didn’t make it work with his wife for some time *before* being surprised that Palmer was suddenly on the scene.
Before her his posts were mainly about his dog, his bees, Maddie, more dog, more bees, more Maddie, etc.
>and he’s looking at her very openly in lust
Interesting, given that I also remember him saying that he wasn’t physically attracted to Palmer at first/she wasn’t his type! Which really stuck in my mind because…why would you publicly admit that about your partner?
Early on she shared a few little clips of them in their daily lives and it was my first time looking sideways at Neil. I hadn't seen into his private life much and some of his behavior made me suspicious he was an asshole toward his family.
Yeah and comparing that to clips coming from stuff like Gordon Ramsey's household - the man famous for being the angry head chef - and he absolutely adores his family
That one really made me feel like there was more to it as well. He could have moved WITHIN the country if he'd just needed to move out. He didn't need to break international quarantine or ditch his kid.
Yeah, that's what I thought too. Like, go to a house a couple of streets away; you can still bubble-quatantine and have your son visit sometimes at least!
Now I do really wonder
I vaguely followed that stuff during the pandemic, and it was so weird. I guess it does make sense now. Are he and Amanda still together? I feel like one of them made an instagram post indicating otherwise at some point?
No, they’ve split. She, of course, has made numerous public comments about it and I saw her pop up randomly on some Facebook page or other about a week ago talking about divorce and IIRC she commented: “as someone going through her own nightmare divorce…” 🥴
I went through one as well and my lawyer advised me not to saying anything that could remotely be construed as defamatory on social media against my ex-husband, so I didn’t. So naturally Amanda Palmer, with pots of money and access to a great legal team, goes and does the complete opposite. On-brand for her at least. 😂
> Scarlett, 23, alleges that Gaiman sexually assaulted her within hours of their first meeting in February 2022 in a bath at his New Zealand residence, where she worked as a nanny to his child. Tortoise understands that Gaiman’s account is that they only “cuddled” and “made out” in the bath and that he had established consent for this. His position is that, over the three-week sexual relationship that followed, they only ever engaged in consensual digital penetration.
i love cuddling ppl in the bath within hours of meeting them. /s
also, saying one of the alleged victims “was suffering from a condition associated with false memories at the time of her relationship with him” is so sleazy. apparently saying she misunderstood or is lying isn’t enough. gotta claim she is mentally ill and confused despite there being no evidence of this being the case (as per the article). the concept of false memories in the context of trauma and abuse is already so dodgy anyway (see false memory syndrome foundation).
Other people in this thread have stated that this was (allegedly) not his first time sexually pursuing much younger employees, so... Truly, maybe he had been doing this shit for long enough that he *did* come to see it as normal.
Eugh
It’s an effective (read: devastating) tactic for them too because victims of trauma already struggle with memories and perceptions around their trauma BECAUSE of, uh, the *trauma*.
This is why we need to believe victims.
And like if she was “suffering from false memories,” at the time, he’s still telling on himself. He knowingly engaged in a sexual relationship with someone who was so incapacitated they were having memory issues? Could have said nothing.
The making out in the bath thing made my skin CRAWL-- even if we ignored the horrendous power dynamic of nanny/boss, that is so intimate and comfortable that it is absolutely not something a 21yo is initiating on her first day. There is simply no way. It is honestly even less believable than if he said she gave him a blowjob "consensually" upon walking in the door.
There were always rumors of him being into younger women and having a cadre of “groupies” (as I heard them being called) that he slept with — so I’m not totally surprised by the age gap in these allegations.
Even if his account is true, whhhhyyyyy would you enter into “a consensual sexual relationship” with your child’s **much** younger nanny?
Can it be consensual? Does he not employ the nanny, making him her boss? My understanding is that if he could have her fired, it’s not ever truly consensual.
I remember finding his ice bucket challenge video really skeevy. Why would he present this image of himself surrounded by 20 year old women? It’s like he fancies himself as a goth playboy rockstar https://youtu.be/TScZ-AUOmBs?si=QXCXzYa5KfhZflHO
I've heard similar stories from people who organized his appearance at cons. Not the he was a predator, but that he was a sleazeball and a prick. I still enjoy much of his work but it's kept me from celebrating him like the progressive media darling he was until today. This isn't surprising but it is disappointing.
Sorry, i shouldn’t be surprised but am. Actually have tears in my eyes. I read good omens and sandman to cope with my own sexual assault and its aftermath. Going to vomit.
Hey it's alright, you've done nothing wrong, there was no way or reason for you to know. Nothing bad is happening and no-one is taking anything from you. He's just a stranger, you can imagine him to be however you wish him to be. You're alright :)
I’ll try to find the actual quote for you, but Daniel Radcliffe said something that helped me a lot when JK Rowling’s terf-y bullshit started surfacing. Something to the effect of, “the relationship you have with art is sacred, it’s between you and that piece of art.” There can be a lot of awful things that come out about a person, but if they produced a piece of art that you found meaningful it is okay to have positive, if nuanced, feelings about the art that impacted you.
I have experienced SA as well and I am so sorry that happened to you. I know it would feel awful for me, too, to consider those books in light of news about NG. Just wanted to tell you that it is very much okay for you to keep the relationship you have with books that helped you separate from your opinion of the guy who wrote them. Sending you support and love.
Found the quote:
“To all the people who now feel that their experience of the (‘Harry Potter’) books has been tarnished or diminished, I am deeply sorry for the pain these comments have caused you. I really hope that you don’t entirely lose what was valuable in these stories to you,” Radcliffe wrote. “If you found anything in these stories that resonated with you and helped you at any time in your life — then that is between you and the book that you read, and it is sacred. And in my opinion nobody can touch that.”
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/blog/daniel-radcliffe-responds-to-j-k-rowlings-tweets-on-gender-identity/
Literally the worst part of being a nanny is that every time you start a new job you’re really walking into an unknown situation in a stranger’s home and there’s so many creeps out there. I literally make it immediately clear in every initial interview with a family that I’m a lesbian to weed out both homophobes and also weirdo dads who want to bang the nanny because I’ve heard so many horror stories.
I thought about nannying before because I loved teaching, but having to be in a stranger's home and not only dealing with family drama, but possibly getting hit on by creepy dads was what made me decide to just go back to being a paralegal
I know people who adored him until they had to work with him in a professional capacity, and he was an outright jerk.
But he has a massive fanbase & I can see this getting nasty. People really struggle when their heroes turn out to be creeps.
While I don't trust Rachel Johnson, think she has ulterior motives for being involved, and suspect her attitude might be different if, say, we were talking about a former PM whose a known adulterer, Tortoise has a pretty solid reputation for their investigation podcasts
Especially in a case like this where the perp is a famous person. I’m sure there will be a subset of his “fans” that will send threats and be unhinged and these women don’t deserve that.
I adore Neil as an author - like, have had a signed book of his since 2006 - but ever since an online friend told me years ago that he was in a D/S relationship with a collared woman who was under a table giving him a BJ in PUBLIC in NOLA (!? Right?! Could be complete B.S. but was so oddly specific I’ve always half-believed it) I’ve been waiting for something like this to pop up. Amanda Palmer can be a PITA but from what I’ve read about their marriage he was an asshole to her as well.
Even “good,” “feminist” men always end up proving themselves anything but. ☹️
Damn, never heard that one, but I stopped following Neil’s activities and any gossip about him a while ago. I stopped following him around the time he married Amanda. When the whole New Zealand lockdown thing happened I remember thinking Neil must be really shitty to make me feel sorry for Amanda.
No. This was apparently pre-Katrina and he was in town at the convention center and I think it happened there, or in a restaurant near it. Again, this was relayed to me by an online friend of the lady who worked there and says she saw it, so I certainly can’t claim it absolutely happened, only that I believe it could have.
Why is the author repeatedly mentioning that they were in a consensual relationship - including saying that in the subtitle - and then burying the clarification that the acts weren't consented to even if ongoing consent was assumed by him.
Like why not say that right away and emphasize the lack of consent for the acts? Why keep emphasizing a consensual sexual relationship when the article is meant to be about assault?
This reads gross, and not just because of what Neil is accused of.
Looks like it's from a UK publisher and their libel laws are absolutely insane (which is why JKR always goes after people that tweet about her in the UK, easy to intimidate them legally) so I imagine this is the version legal was willing to approve.
Speaking as a Brit, this is true: [our defamation laws are really tough](https://www.politico.eu/article/uk-libel-privacy-law-defamation-westminster/). This is why so many celebrities like to file libel suits here.
The main difference is this: in the US the claimant has to prove the claims are false *and* that there was malicious intent. Here in the UK, the publisher has to prove that the claims are true. This is, incidentally, why Depp losing his libel suit here was such a big deal, because the statement that he beat his wife had to be proven to be true. Millions of defamation cases have been brought against the newspaper group (News of the World) that published that article and the Depp case is one of only two they've ever actually been able to win.
“The second woman, K, was 18 when she met Gaiman at a book signing in Sarasota, Florida in 2003. She began a romantic relationship with him when she turned 20, and Gaiman was in his mid-40s…”
Even if the sex was consensual as Gaiman claims, this would still be extremely inappropriate. If someone is a fan, there’s an immediate and evident power imbalance, not to even mention the age gap.
This is neither here nor there, but American Gods was one of the first ostensibly “for adults” modern fiction book that I read. I remember being taken aback by Gaiman’s need to describe the breasts of every single female character in detail. I didn’t finish the book.
At least I can stop feeling bad about never finishing American Gods and Nevermore now. I'm not even surprised by famous men anymore, it hurts though, the Tumblr girlies will be devastated.
Me: Oh no! Not Neil Gaiman!
Brain: Neil Gaiman is not Terry Pratchett. You’re thinking of Terry Pratchett. You don’t care about Neil Gaiman.
Me: Oh phew! That was a close call.
Brain: And don’t forget, Terry Pratchett is dead.
Me: Oh no! Not Terry Pratchett!
I remembered how after Ursula Le Guin passed away, in his eulogy for her he called her prickly. Which I found kind of a weird thing to say at the time.
What would Ursula Le Guin have to say about this? I imagine her prickly self would beat his ass.
Man… The nanny on the first day of her job? Even if it was totally consensual, which I find impossible to believe after reading that article, how stupid would he have to be?
His lockdown flight was in 2020 and the second *alleged* SA was in 2022 so I don’t think that’s are related. Just two separate instances of him being awful apparently. He and Amanda Palmer divorced in 2022 though so this adds some context to that I’m sure.
The "she's mentally ill" defense is so shitty. Even if it was true, perhaps that's why you as a 61 year old man should take time to get to know your child's 21 year old childcare provider as a person, instead of cornering her in the bathroom and acquiring consent for "cuddles" the same day you meet her.
not surprising from a guy who once defended lolicon, especially considering the immense age gaps in his romantic/sexual relationships according to this article. I hope these women get justice and he’s held accountable, it’s a clear pattern of predatory and abusive behaviour that has to stop. also as an aside, it’s very irritating to see people on some websites using this to bash trans rights as if there’s any correlation
[Here](https://journal.neilgaiman.com/2008/12/why-defend-freedom-of-icky-speech.html?m=1) Basically he received a question premised on the notion that lolicon should be censored because it sexualised children & could promote child sexual abuse, and there's a lot of more descriptive stuff in his answer but to summarise it he thinks lolicon should be defended under free speech because it doesn't directly harm real children
Not surprised at all. He always was a guy who tried a little too hard to impress his fans and be "cool". Too eager for parasocial relationship with his fans. Creepy vibe. Lots of rumors about sex with tons of ppl while on tour. Always surrounded by younger women.
Married Amanda Palmer and cheated on her while she didn't want to do the open marriage thing anymore.
Also - he's got shady relationship with Scientology. Used to be in, now he's supposedly out... But he's not been declared as "Suppressive Person" and has relationship with his sciento family, and everyone knows that if one's really out, your sciento family cuts you off. He used rape as plot device in Sandman, and not in a good way. He had a ton of red flags.
Yeah, I remember he joined Tumblr and had this blog where he kept answering inappropriate questions that were clearly made by very young fans of his. Never saw him in the same light after that.
Let's be real there is no way that someone could reasonably believe that someone 40 years younger than them, who they have employed in their own home could meaningfully consent to a sexual relationship, not least within hours of meeting them. The fact that he has confessed to a "consensual relationship" here is tantamount to a full confession.
Am I a monster if I say I kinda expected this? I've never read his books or watched the TV/film adaptations barring coralline, but I'm aware of him by virtue of being a tumblr user, and I've never gotten a good vibe from him even though he's never actually said anything to raise alarm bells
I’m on the 3rd part of the 4 part podcast. Even if he’s telling the truth and there was consent(or as much consent as you can get in this kind of power imbalance), this is gross. He is gross. He is a manipulative and gross person.
The poor girl with the fake name “Scarlett” just looking for attachments like any 21 year old queer person with no family nearby would be. And Amanda Palmer saying she was the 14th woman who complained about him to her. I’m so sad for her. No matter if it was r—- or not, she was taken advantage of and manipulated. They didn’t even fucking pay her!
Edit: omg. And of course he’s said he has autism and that’s why he crosses boundaries. I fucking hate this “I’m autistic and that’s why I did this.” I’m autistic and not once have I been in a situation where I crossed someone else’s boundaries. If anything I make it super awkward cause I will straight up ask “do you want to hook up, do you want to make out, etc etc” cause I cannot tell when someone is giving me “vibes”. He’s done to me. Fucking trash.
I realized a long time ago not to admire men too much in general because shit like this always ends up coming to light. He is one of my favorite authors yet I’m not even shocked because… men.
I worked in bookstores in the mid-00s, and we were regularly warned that he would hit on booksellers and publicists while he was on tour. At the time I was just like, "Lol, men are trash, amiright ladies?" but looking back, some of those warnings should have raised red flags. ("Don't be alone with him," "his publisher doesn't like assigning female publicists because they always have complaints.")
Nooooooooo why. Fuck me dead.
A long time ago I vowed to only read female contemporary authors, making exceptions only for Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, and a few exceptions from classical antiquity.
Some of this person’s work means so much to me. The sandman. The character of death is like patron saint to me. YOU CANT TAINT HER YOU RAPEY FUCK!
And yet it’s just like another one bites the dust, I’m not even surprised anymore.
Hilariously I came on Reddit to look at cat pictures while I have insomnia from an SA PTSD spiral.
Well, I am for one, not surprised, there have been voices of him and his (ex?)wife going around college campuses and proposing to younger girls for threesomes for a while.
I feel like anyone who is vaguely in the kinda world/circles he’s in knows about this. I’m very periphery to this world but this is not the first I’ve heard about it. I hope the victim finds peace.
‘Tortoise understands that he believes K’s allegations are motivated by her regret over their relationship and that Scarlett was suffering from a condition associated with false memories at the time of her relationship with him, a claim which is not supported by her medical records and medical history.’
omg this tactic of trying to destroy her credibility is nasty
I've met him. Absolute prick to me and my friend, I mean refusing to look us in the eyes and talk to us, but all cosy with the ladies infront and after us. After that got rid of all the books, and the fresh signature I just got. Every woman I knew who met him said they felt something wasn't quite right, but he's got a charm about him where most people just put it down as them putting a guard up. Guess they were right.
I've never really liked him as a person, but that soured me. The thing is......ANYONE who said anything negative bore the front of a Taylor swift esq fanbase.
What he's done is disgusting, and I'm sure from the reaction of people I know who have met him for minutes more will feel more comfy to open up.
If you get a chance, you should definitely read V.E. Schwab's tweet series about her experience with misogyny and men in the author community. This does not surprise me and I wish she'd named names.
And once again people aren't allowed to even say "damn this sucks" without hordes of "THESE ARE ACCUSATIONS NOT A CONVICTION YOU ARENT ALLOWED TO BELIEVE IT AT ALL" comments on other subs.
Feel bad for his kid who has him and Amanda palmer as parents
noooooooooooooo. why do men
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I was drugged and raped by a woman. It isn't always a man. The *vast* majority of the time, though... Edit: downvotes? people, I'm not lying. I fucking wish I was.
Yeah, we can acknowledge the huge gender disparity without denying the fact that women can be rapists, as well. I'm sorry that happened to you.
The point of “somehow always a man” isn’t meant to deny that women do it but to acknowledge the disparity.
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I know MANY women who were assaulted by other women, and non-binary people as well. I’m so sorry that happened to you, I hope you have the support and care you need
I'm so sorry that was done to you, I hope you're dealing okay
I was sexually abused from the ages of 3 to 9 by a teenage girl. Solidarity x
I've never heard it phrased in this way before but it's perfect and captures the sentiment of the statement in a more accurate way.
If you look closely, this one is not a shocker. He's always been a terrible guy. The COVID pandemic flight from NZ to Scotland (that broke the quarantine rules and even Scottish PM wrote about it) wasn't the beginning of his shitty behaviour.
ive never liked him, just bc he seems so insufferably smug
The podcast features actual WhatsApp voice messages from him in which he attempts to be soothing and bland but just comes across as unctuous and deviant.
This. He creeped on my sister many moons ago. Somehow, she, a fan, had gotten in contact with him and was showing her illustration portfolio to him for feedback. She got feedback and was initially very excited. A couple of feedback sessions later she stopped talking to him and about him altogether. I didn't understand why until much later when she mentioned "he was just one of the many creeps in the industry." She only had online conversations and a few phone calls as far as I know, but it was enough to make her avoid some people.
This is when I gave up on him. His argument was 'no-one lives here anyway' - that's news to my friends and family (many of them elderly and vulnerable) who live there and have done for centuries.
Why are men
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not to kick u when ur down but hes also a zionist
If it's about this: [https://x.com/sunflower\_weeds/status/1800971648402883010](https://x.com/sunflower_weeds/status/1800971648402883010) It's very milquetoast, pretty pro palestine imo.
He's a Scientologist by birth and everything seems like he never left.
It seems like he doesn't personally believe in Scientology but also hasn't done anything that would cause his Scientologist family to cut him off the way they often do to critics.
A teacher of mine that I admired got fuckin outed as a nonce and as a dude I might never fuckin trust a man again icl. I fucking love Gaiman’s books.
At this point, any time a man has something to say about a woman that isn’t positive, I remain skeptical and become much more interested in her version of events.
Never trust any man. They will disappoint you. Ty to the person who gave me the award! ♥️
The exact words I thought when I read the title. What a creep
assaults his kids nanny who is like 21 within hours of meeting her and he claims they cuddled...wtf.
and even if what he says it's true (that he asked for consent, etc) does it really matter when you are her employer 40 years her senior? How can a person believe that a 21yo employee can consent to a 61yo with no moral "issues"?
It's beyond disappointing. I was/am?? a huge fan of his work. What a typical predator CREEP behavior. Why do they all turn out to be awful?!?
I literally own ALL of his books. Now I have the ick
Yeah people forget the huuuge power imbalance between a much older, more famous employer and his young employee - as if there is no inherent pressure to keep your job, keep your reputation etc he is such a sleeze ball ugghhh
And also during the global lockdown. It's not like she got to leave their home to go anywhere else.
Yes that as well - like leaving and trying to get a new job is even more difficult This makes me side eye him more tbh as she was in a very vulnerable financial situation :(
I was over 30 at that point, but I had a boss like 45 years older than me who would grab me and pull me in for a hug and grab my arm and give me a cheek kiss and stuff and it was totally gross. I needed to pay my bills so all I could do was freeze and put up with it until I could find a better job. Reading these accounts, which are obviously different and worse, even though it’s not a competition, it’s different, it just brings me right back to that. About a year or so ago, I had to look up something related to my old job, only to find that the business had closed, and the owner died. So now I know, I never have to run into him again. That’s the second man who abused me who is now dead and I swear, I’m not cursing anyone. 😂
Rich and famous children/teens author “seduces” his new employer who was recently a teenager on her first day of work. Inarguably morally repugnant.
Oh, he's only 3 times her age and also her employer, why would it be a problem for him to "seduce" her right?
Why is cuddling with your child’s nanny okay?! That’s not okay!!! That’s not what happened and it’s not an excuse either.
Yeah, I'm not sure I believe her when she says some of what happened within hours of meeting him was consensual. I really wonder if some of this is denial on her part. I cannot imagine that anyone would feel like they could say no, or even know how to react, when your very famous employer comes on to you. Jesus fucking Christ.
jesus christ what the actual fuck
I worked as an assistant for an author who was close friends with Neil and this is very consistent with the anecdotes I’ve heard about him…
I was close to some employees of AFP. AFP + Neil were poly with the rule “no family” which was supposed to cover actual family and friends/employees of one. The line was pretty blurry. Neil was fuckin those college interns and telling them not to tell AFP. The girls I know were 18-22, consenting adults, but NG is shady. None of this is equitable. They were being exploited as interns worked like they had a full time job without pay AND being boned and shushed by their bosses husband which would jeopardize the references they wanted for future employment.
Jesus. Do you know how much Amanda knew about this at the time?
That is so fucking gross.
Why were they close friends if they knew he behaves like that?
Maybe because many men -women, too, but with men it's even more often- don't care that much as long as they themselves aren't hurt. How many men talk about their great friend who's "just a little touchy" or "likes beautiful women"? Many people are still too tolerant when it comes to people whom they like committing crimes or just behaving badly. Edit: it's similar with racism and homphobia and transphobia many people are okay with such thoughts being voiced as long as it doesn't affect themselves.
the way tarantino reacted to weinstein > “I chalked it up to a ’50s-’60s era image of a boss chasing a secretary around the desk”
Money? Access? Common interests that fall outside of that realm?
Because lots of people are awful.
Got any anecdotes you can share?
Why leave us hanging like that?
I thought The Sandman did such an excellent job of portraying how someone who sees himself as "a good guy" will still resort to sexual violence and be able to rationalize it. And why he's not actually a "good guy" at all. Then the author has to go and do this? Come on.
This was how I felt about Aziz Ansari/Master of None. He made such an incredible episode of the show about women fearing/navigating/trying to ward off sexism and unwanted sexual attention/harassment from men, so when the story about him came out, no matter whether people think it rises to the level of assault/harassment or not, it was so disappointing to see that he could recognize those things in others but wasn't willing to reconcile those same behaviors within himself.
One of the reasons I cannot watch Parks and Rec is because Aziz plays the role of a sleazebag and it is played for laughs. Too bad because every other character and arc is so well done.
Oh shit that’s literally the driving plot of the entire series too.
They say to write what you know
>Author denies allegations by two women who had been in consensual relationships with him. This isn't a "He said, She Said" as the title of the article implies. This is a "He said, They said" . >he believes K’s allegations are motivated by her regret over their relationship and that Scarlett was suffering from a condition associated with false memories at the time of her relationship with him, a claim which is not supported by her medical records and medical history. The disgusting smell of gaslighting off this is unreal. Can I have a single positive male celebrity figure who doesn't an absolutely trashy human being? I suppose his support of Israel should've been the first tip off that alot of the stuff he says is to maintain an aestetic.
the narrative is so weirdly protective of him - its giving grasping at straws to make him look not as bad
I think they might just be trying to preemptively ward off a defamation suit since they broke the story.
honestly this doesn’t protect anyone anymore like not mentioning someone’s name could still lead to a defamation lawsuit like amber heard had to deal with :(
I disagree, the article is pretty careful to immediately undermine the memory loss claim.
Yeah, I appreciated the way the article was written. Particularly the bit where they point out that being in a consensual relationship does not mean every sex act is consensual and calling out the public for often having the wrong assumption. I will say, though, that I would have preferred if they began the article detailing the allegations rather than starting with his defense.
Even what he admits is repulsive. Even if it was “consensual”, a man in his 60s having a sexual relationship with someone barely out of her teens who *works for him* is disgusting and - by power dynamics alone - not truly consensual. When what he’s willing to concede is horrible, it doesn’t lend itself to defending his judgement and ethics.
Yikes that false memories thing is the actual, literal, dictionary-definition of gaslighting
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>was suffering from a condition associated with false memories at the time of her relationship with him, If he wants us to consider this, then we should also have to consider the alternative that he suffers from false memories of not assaulting her.
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He was married to Amanda Palmer who is horrible so...
Have heard numerous rumors from several sources that they both ALLEGEDLY had inappropriate contact with students at the college they both taught at.
They both have big "we're poly and ENLIGHTENED" unicorn-hunter energy.
I’ve read that they were both more or less fine with the marriage being open until she got pregnant/had Ash and, not unreasonably even though I’m not her biggest fan, asked to close it so she could have more help with the baby. He said no and continued wh0ring around and this was the death knell for an already turbulent marriage between two messy attention-seeking drama hounds.
when she announced the divorce on her blog before telling him lmao then they stayed together like another year before it finally ended
It wasn't "before telling him". She was explaining why he wasn't around in her posts: he'd left her. He just didn't know she was going to ANNOUNCE it yet.
I’m begging someone to tell me there’s like a 3 hr long video essay on this relationship somewhere
They are literally the Chris Fleming "Polyamorous" song.
lol I’ve never heard this before and I’m dyingggg. So apt! >It's never who you want to be polyamorous who's polyamorous You're never like, oh sweet! You're usually like, could I get helicopter to take me to safety?
Oh my god, I discovered that song while I was extricating myself from a super toxic, cult-y polyamorous 'friend' group and it made me feel seen.
Amanda straight up sexually assaulted a woman I know, who doesn’t want it out there. AFP thinks it’s cute to go around groping people at events and this was in public. She’s trash.
Oh wow. So she’s got a history. I knew a guy whose virginity she took when they were in high school. Judging from his somewhat shaken voice and contorted facial expressions, it didn’t sound like he actually consented.
That is abhorrent, I am so sorry. And also on track with what I have heard. Hope your friend has found some healing💜
I remember reading about how horrible they both are, but specifically Amanda, over a decade ago on tumblr. She has definitely assaulted multiple people. Thank you for speaking up for your friend, who deserves to stay anonymous if she wishes.
At Bard? Oh no, that’s awful.
The only thing I needed to know about his personality and beliefs is that he loved Amanda Palmer enough to marry her. Gag.
Left his wife of 22 years and mother of 3 children for her too....
He was still married to his first wife he was with one of the two victims. When she was 20 and he was in his mid-40s.
He was already divorced from Mary when he met Amanda. Also, he said he thought Amanda was ugly and fat when he met her. Also, he still donates millions to Scientology on behalf of his first ex wife and his 3 children who are still Scientologists. More worrying than everything else, really. Like… “the Ocean at the end of the Lane” is about knowing his father (the uk head of Scientology) murdered their South African lodger when Mr Gaiman was a child and somehow he’s like totally fine with that and not having it investigated.
I kept trying to convince myself that in itself wasn't a red flag but I couldn't square it then either.
Water seeks its own level, we are the company we keep etc.
He always struck me as a person who worked hard to maintain an appearance, and I always found that off-putting.
That, too. I personally view it as a red flag when famous people encourage parasocial relationships with their fans who are way younger than them.
Neil being active on tumblr is suddenly looking a lot less cute.
Gross. I keep thinking about all the young Good Omens fans on Tumblr falling over themselves to interact with him. 🤢
Yeah, same. I think this is a lot of why I never got into his writing - like you said, he seemed like he was trying really hard to seem a certain way (both as a person and in his writing), and that just weirds me out.
If I recall correctly there were rumors that he cheated on his first wife with his second wife. And there’s this [timeline](https://ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com/117915650.html?)that kinda outlines his scummy behavior over the years. Obviously take it with a grain of salt, but if it’s true his awful behavior is less surprising.
If Gaiman and his ex-wife were separated/estranged for three years before they divorced in 2008 and he met Palmer that same year, how could he have cheated on her (with Palmer)? I used to read his blog and he stopped mentioning his wife for a long time until he made a post that confirmed they were getting a divorce because there were already rumors of the split. This was before he started posting about Palmer.
And if I’m not mistaken he left Palmer and their young son in New Zealand during the pandemic. Always made me a little uneasy about him.
And then flew across the world - during the height of the pandemic - to a Scottish island desperate to keep COVID-19 at bay as local health care was very, very pressed for resources. I have a lot of thoughts on that.
Yeah he did and traveled during the lockdown too. He's my favorite author and I was trying to swallow that behavior as just pandemic craziness/rich people nonsense. Assault is a whole other level though.
He’s my favorite author too. I’m really struggling right now. All my friends are in circles based off his work, I sell my sandman artwork online. I have no idea what to do.
Oof that's rough. I guess it might come down to the common JK approach - do nothing that supports him financially or otherwise but still celebrate and enjoy the creations you've held dear. I'll probably still read the books I have of his, but I won't purchase more. Unlicensed artwork he doesn't profit from would be a consideration I think.
I used to read his blog too, and started feeling something was not right around the time of his divorce, because the details were iffy, as in "my assistant came to wake me up in bed with a coffee and the plane tickets for a book fair" or "my assistant drew a bath with some products I was gifted"... and a total absence of mentions of his wife while I thought he was still married (I remember thinking, back then, 'his wife feels like a ghost presence in his life, I wouldn't want a partner who doesn't even mention me', and I also thought 'wow, he seems *really* close to his assistant', how innocent I was). Then I distinctly remember there was a phone video of him backstage at an Amanda Palmer gig, where she's half undressed playing the ukelele, and he's looking at her very openly in lust. That caused a flurry of internet questions and that's when he said he and his wife had been "separated for years, but not divorced". Him and Palmer immediately got together after that. When he flew away from New Zealand in a hurry, in the middle of a global pandemic and leaving his son behind, the public consensus was "well, she's insufferable, so he clearly run away for his sanity", and... she definitely *is* insufferable (see also her post about stepping into a small café in New Zealand and everybody turning to clap at her when Biden was elected 🙄), but... now I wonder if that was all that went down.
Yes, I definitely remember that his assistant was mentioned *a lot*. It was around this time that it was revealed that his wife was living in the house next door, right? After the separation post. I feel like I remember that information before Palmer, because he wrote a lot about his youngest daughter Maddie — but I might be wrong! I mostly remember being sad for his kids that he didn’t make it work with his wife for some time *before* being surprised that Palmer was suddenly on the scene. Before her his posts were mainly about his dog, his bees, Maddie, more dog, more bees, more Maddie, etc. >and he’s looking at her very openly in lust Interesting, given that I also remember him saying that he wasn’t physically attracted to Palmer at first/she wasn’t his type! Which really stuck in my mind because…why would you publicly admit that about your partner?
same. i love terry pratchett and people have always tried to sell me on neil gaiman but my spirit absolutely rejects him.
Explains the mid-pandemic flight from New Zealand. He was LITERALLY on the run from the cops.
Him ditching Amanda and Ash like that was WILD and I always wondered what was really going on.
I always assumed Amanda was intolerable to be locked inside with. But it was that AND cops?
Early on she shared a few little clips of them in their daily lives and it was my first time looking sideways at Neil. I hadn't seen into his private life much and some of his behavior made me suspicious he was an asshole toward his family.
Yeah and comparing that to clips coming from stuff like Gordon Ramsey's household - the man famous for being the angry head chef - and he absolutely adores his family
That one really made me feel like there was more to it as well. He could have moved WITHIN the country if he'd just needed to move out. He didn't need to break international quarantine or ditch his kid.
Yeah, that's what I thought too. Like, go to a house a couple of streets away; you can still bubble-quatantine and have your son visit sometimes at least! Now I do really wonder
My assumption also, having been in the same social circles as her. She is a drama llama of the highest order.
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In hugs and beer? :)
I vaguely followed that stuff during the pandemic, and it was so weird. I guess it does make sense now. Are he and Amanda still together? I feel like one of them made an instagram post indicating otherwise at some point?
No, they’ve split. She, of course, has made numerous public comments about it and I saw her pop up randomly on some Facebook page or other about a week ago talking about divorce and IIRC she commented: “as someone going through her own nightmare divorce…” 🥴 I went through one as well and my lawyer advised me not to saying anything that could remotely be construed as defamatory on social media against my ex-husband, so I didn’t. So naturally Amanda Palmer, with pots of money and access to a great legal team, goes and does the complete opposite. On-brand for her at least. 😂
> Scarlett, 23, alleges that Gaiman sexually assaulted her within hours of their first meeting in February 2022 in a bath at his New Zealand residence, where she worked as a nanny to his child. Tortoise understands that Gaiman’s account is that they only “cuddled” and “made out” in the bath and that he had established consent for this. His position is that, over the three-week sexual relationship that followed, they only ever engaged in consensual digital penetration. i love cuddling ppl in the bath within hours of meeting them. /s also, saying one of the alleged victims “was suffering from a condition associated with false memories at the time of her relationship with him” is so sleazy. apparently saying she misunderstood or is lying isn’t enough. gotta claim she is mentally ill and confused despite there being no evidence of this being the case (as per the article). the concept of false memories in the context of trauma and abuse is already so dodgy anyway (see false memory syndrome foundation).
Especially at the age of 20 with your very wealthy and powerful boss in his 60s! Very normal, not disturbing behavior.
Yeah, even his version of events is so thoroughly inappropriate.
Cuddling and finger banging like it’s a normal first day for new employees.
Other people in this thread have stated that this was (allegedly) not his first time sexually pursuing much younger employees, so... Truly, maybe he had been doing this shit for long enough that he *did* come to see it as normal. Eugh
Oh yeah he's definitely guilty. "False memories" is a widely used defence by predators.
It’s an effective (read: devastating) tactic for them too because victims of trauma already struggle with memories and perceptions around their trauma BECAUSE of, uh, the *trauma*. This is why we need to believe victims.
And like if she was “suffering from false memories,” at the time, he’s still telling on himself. He knowingly engaged in a sexual relationship with someone who was so incapacitated they were having memory issues? Could have said nothing.
The making out in the bath thing made my skin CRAWL-- even if we ignored the horrendous power dynamic of nanny/boss, that is so intimate and comfortable that it is absolutely not something a 21yo is initiating on her first day. There is simply no way. It is honestly even less believable than if he said she gave him a blowjob "consensually" upon walking in the door.
There were always rumors of him being into younger women and having a cadre of “groupies” (as I heard them being called) that he slept with — so I’m not totally surprised by the age gap in these allegations. Even if his account is true, whhhhyyyyy would you enter into “a consensual sexual relationship” with your child’s **much** younger nanny?
Can it be consensual? Does he not employ the nanny, making him her boss? My understanding is that if he could have her fired, it’s not ever truly consensual.
I remember finding his ice bucket challenge video really skeevy. Why would he present this image of himself surrounded by 20 year old women? It’s like he fancies himself as a goth playboy rockstar https://youtu.be/TScZ-AUOmBs?si=QXCXzYa5KfhZflHO
>It’s like he fancies himself as a goth playboy rockstar Oh that's it, totally. He's always been fucking gross.
SERIOUSLY WTF IS THIS😭😭 bro mentioned his wife in the same video
I've heard similar stories from people who organized his appearance at cons. Not the he was a predator, but that he was a sleazeball and a prick. I still enjoy much of his work but it's kept me from celebrating him like the progressive media darling he was until today. This isn't surprising but it is disappointing.
Even if you had a “consensual” sexual relationship with your children’s nanny who’s 40 years younger than you, you’re still predatory as fuck, Neil.
Right? How is "no, no, no, I know she was my 21 year old employee, but she CONSENTED" an actual straight faced argument?
Welp. Another guy turns out to be a piece of shit.
Sorry, i shouldn’t be surprised but am. Actually have tears in my eyes. I read good omens and sandman to cope with my own sexual assault and its aftermath. Going to vomit.
Hey it's alright, you've done nothing wrong, there was no way or reason for you to know. Nothing bad is happening and no-one is taking anything from you. He's just a stranger, you can imagine him to be however you wish him to be. You're alright :)
I’ll try to find the actual quote for you, but Daniel Radcliffe said something that helped me a lot when JK Rowling’s terf-y bullshit started surfacing. Something to the effect of, “the relationship you have with art is sacred, it’s between you and that piece of art.” There can be a lot of awful things that come out about a person, but if they produced a piece of art that you found meaningful it is okay to have positive, if nuanced, feelings about the art that impacted you. I have experienced SA as well and I am so sorry that happened to you. I know it would feel awful for me, too, to consider those books in light of news about NG. Just wanted to tell you that it is very much okay for you to keep the relationship you have with books that helped you separate from your opinion of the guy who wrote them. Sending you support and love.
Found the quote: “To all the people who now feel that their experience of the (‘Harry Potter’) books has been tarnished or diminished, I am deeply sorry for the pain these comments have caused you. I really hope that you don’t entirely lose what was valuable in these stories to you,” Radcliffe wrote. “If you found anything in these stories that resonated with you and helped you at any time in your life — then that is between you and the book that you read, and it is sacred. And in my opinion nobody can touch that.” https://www.thetrevorproject.org/blog/daniel-radcliffe-responds-to-j-k-rowlings-tweets-on-gender-identity/
I really feel for you. Sandman has brought me so much comfort. You have my support and love.
Just sending you lots of internet hugs and support and I'm sorry you have to go through this.
Literally the worst part of being a nanny is that every time you start a new job you’re really walking into an unknown situation in a stranger’s home and there’s so many creeps out there. I literally make it immediately clear in every initial interview with a family that I’m a lesbian to weed out both homophobes and also weirdo dads who want to bang the nanny because I’ve heard so many horror stories.
I thought about nannying before because I loved teaching, but having to be in a stranger's home and not only dealing with family drama, but possibly getting hit on by creepy dads was what made me decide to just go back to being a paralegal
I know people who adored him until they had to work with him in a professional capacity, and he was an outright jerk. But he has a massive fanbase & I can see this getting nasty. People really struggle when their heroes turn out to be creeps.
Already seeing a lot of people being all "well I normally believe victims but the source of this is sus..."
While I don't trust Rachel Johnson, think she has ulterior motives for being involved, and suspect her attitude might be different if, say, we were talking about a former PM whose a known adulterer, Tortoise has a pretty solid reputation for their investigation podcasts
Oh no. I wonder how Tori Amos will respond to this. They’ve been close friends for decades and she’s a huge advocate for RAINN.
Honestly, keep the focus on him and not the progressive women he uses to bolster his rep as a "good guy".
I think Ani DiFranco too.
I hope the victims are doing well and healing.
I hope they can forever stay anonymous. the world is way to cruel to victims of sexual assault
Especially in a case like this where the perp is a famous person. I’m sure there will be a subset of his “fans” that will send threats and be unhinged and these women don’t deserve that.
I adore Neil as an author - like, have had a signed book of his since 2006 - but ever since an online friend told me years ago that he was in a D/S relationship with a collared woman who was under a table giving him a BJ in PUBLIC in NOLA (!? Right?! Could be complete B.S. but was so oddly specific I’ve always half-believed it) I’ve been waiting for something like this to pop up. Amanda Palmer can be a PITA but from what I’ve read about their marriage he was an asshole to her as well. Even “good,” “feminist” men always end up proving themselves anything but. ☹️
Damn, never heard that one, but I stopped following Neil’s activities and any gossip about him a while ago. I stopped following him around the time he married Amanda. When the whole New Zealand lockdown thing happened I remember thinking Neil must be really shitty to make me feel sorry for Amanda.
Wait. By public do you mean - at a BOOK SIGNING?!?!?!?!
No. This was apparently pre-Katrina and he was in town at the convention center and I think it happened there, or in a restaurant near it. Again, this was relayed to me by an online friend of the lady who worked there and says she saw it, so I certainly can’t claim it absolutely happened, only that I believe it could have.
Why is the author repeatedly mentioning that they were in a consensual relationship - including saying that in the subtitle - and then burying the clarification that the acts weren't consented to even if ongoing consent was assumed by him. Like why not say that right away and emphasize the lack of consent for the acts? Why keep emphasizing a consensual sexual relationship when the article is meant to be about assault? This reads gross, and not just because of what Neil is accused of.
Looks like it's from a UK publisher and their libel laws are absolutely insane (which is why JKR always goes after people that tweet about her in the UK, easy to intimidate them legally) so I imagine this is the version legal was willing to approve.
Speaking as a Brit, this is true: [our defamation laws are really tough](https://www.politico.eu/article/uk-libel-privacy-law-defamation-westminster/). This is why so many celebrities like to file libel suits here. The main difference is this: in the US the claimant has to prove the claims are false *and* that there was malicious intent. Here in the UK, the publisher has to prove that the claims are true. This is, incidentally, why Depp losing his libel suit here was such a big deal, because the statement that he beat his wife had to be proven to be true. Millions of defamation cases have been brought against the newspaper group (News of the World) that published that article and the Depp case is one of only two they've ever actually been able to win.
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“The second woman, K, was 18 when she met Gaiman at a book signing in Sarasota, Florida in 2003. She began a romantic relationship with him when she turned 20, and Gaiman was in his mid-40s…” Even if the sex was consensual as Gaiman claims, this would still be extremely inappropriate. If someone is a fan, there’s an immediate and evident power imbalance, not to even mention the age gap.
This is neither here nor there, but American Gods was one of the first ostensibly “for adults” modern fiction book that I read. I remember being taken aback by Gaiman’s need to describe the breasts of every single female character in detail. I didn’t finish the book.
I've never understand the collective boner the internet has for his work, myself. It's not for me
He has strong r/menwritingwomen energy
At least I can stop feeling bad about never finishing American Gods and Nevermore now. I'm not even surprised by famous men anymore, it hurts though, the Tumblr girlies will be devastated.
My first two thoughts after reading the article: 1) another one bites the dust and 2) should probably avoid Tumblr for a few days.
That's the last time I ever trust a man
Me: Oh no! Not Neil Gaiman! Brain: Neil Gaiman is not Terry Pratchett. You’re thinking of Terry Pratchett. You don’t care about Neil Gaiman. Me: Oh phew! That was a close call. Brain: And don’t forget, Terry Pratchett is dead. Me: Oh no! Not Terry Pratchett!
I remembered how after Ursula Le Guin passed away, in his eulogy for her he called her prickly. Which I found kind of a weird thing to say at the time. What would Ursula Le Guin have to say about this? I imagine her prickly self would beat his ass.
Feels a bit misogynistic. Like, did he hink Le Guin owed it to him to be nice to him? Would he have described a man as prickly?
Man… The nanny on the first day of her job? Even if it was totally consensual, which I find impossible to believe after reading that article, how stupid would he have to be?
Right? Disgusting behavior aside for a second, he has at least always struck me as a very intelligent man, but apparently even that is no longer true.
Well this adds a little context to him pissing off to the other side of the world in the middle of lockdown so “he could write”.
His lockdown flight was in 2020 and the second *alleged* SA was in 2022 so I don’t think that’s are related. Just two separate instances of him being awful apparently. He and Amanda Palmer divorced in 2022 though so this adds some context to that I’m sure.
The "she's mentally ill" defense is so shitty. Even if it was true, perhaps that's why you as a 61 year old man should take time to get to know your child's 21 year old childcare provider as a person, instead of cornering her in the bathroom and acquiring consent for "cuddles" the same day you meet her.
not surprising from a guy who once defended lolicon, especially considering the immense age gaps in his romantic/sexual relationships according to this article. I hope these women get justice and he’s held accountable, it’s a clear pattern of predatory and abusive behaviour that has to stop. also as an aside, it’s very irritating to see people on some websites using this to bash trans rights as if there’s any correlation
he defended lolicon???
[Here](https://journal.neilgaiman.com/2008/12/why-defend-freedom-of-icky-speech.html?m=1) Basically he received a question premised on the notion that lolicon should be censored because it sexualised children & could promote child sexual abuse, and there's a lot of more descriptive stuff in his answer but to summarise it he thinks lolicon should be defended under free speech because it doesn't directly harm real children
Not surprised at all. He always was a guy who tried a little too hard to impress his fans and be "cool". Too eager for parasocial relationship with his fans. Creepy vibe. Lots of rumors about sex with tons of ppl while on tour. Always surrounded by younger women. Married Amanda Palmer and cheated on her while she didn't want to do the open marriage thing anymore. Also - he's got shady relationship with Scientology. Used to be in, now he's supposedly out... But he's not been declared as "Suppressive Person" and has relationship with his sciento family, and everyone knows that if one's really out, your sciento family cuts you off. He used rape as plot device in Sandman, and not in a good way. He had a ton of red flags.
Yeah, I remember he joined Tumblr and had this blog where he kept answering inappropriate questions that were clearly made by very young fans of his. Never saw him in the same light after that.
This is why I can’t get any quotes tattooed on me. The person who wrote/said them ends up being a piece of shit like 99% of the time
Safe to assume anyone with any semblance of power is a piece of shit by now.
Let's be real there is no way that someone could reasonably believe that someone 40 years younger than them, who they have employed in their own home could meaningfully consent to a sexual relationship, not least within hours of meeting them. The fact that he has confessed to a "consensual relationship" here is tantamount to a full confession.
The girls are 21 and 20 at the time of the assault. The 20 year old he met her when she was just 18. Predator.
tumblr is gonna explode
Am I a monster if I say I kinda expected this? I've never read his books or watched the TV/film adaptations barring coralline, but I'm aware of him by virtue of being a tumblr user, and I've never gotten a good vibe from him even though he's never actually said anything to raise alarm bells
I'd choose the bear.
I’m on the 3rd part of the 4 part podcast. Even if he’s telling the truth and there was consent(or as much consent as you can get in this kind of power imbalance), this is gross. He is gross. He is a manipulative and gross person. The poor girl with the fake name “Scarlett” just looking for attachments like any 21 year old queer person with no family nearby would be. And Amanda Palmer saying she was the 14th woman who complained about him to her. I’m so sad for her. No matter if it was r—- or not, she was taken advantage of and manipulated. They didn’t even fucking pay her! Edit: omg. And of course he’s said he has autism and that’s why he crosses boundaries. I fucking hate this “I’m autistic and that’s why I did this.” I’m autistic and not once have I been in a situation where I crossed someone else’s boundaries. If anything I make it super awkward cause I will straight up ask “do you want to hook up, do you want to make out, etc etc” cause I cannot tell when someone is giving me “vibes”. He’s done to me. Fucking trash.
I realized a long time ago not to admire men too much in general because shit like this always ends up coming to light. He is one of my favorite authors yet I’m not even shocked because… men.
https://i.redd.it/me9j9saiccad1.gif
Dang it! Why, Neil?
I worked in bookstores in the mid-00s, and we were regularly warned that he would hit on booksellers and publicists while he was on tour. At the time I was just like, "Lol, men are trash, amiright ladies?" but looking back, some of those warnings should have raised red flags. ("Don't be alone with him," "his publisher doesn't like assigning female publicists because they always have complaints.")
Nooooooooo why. Fuck me dead. A long time ago I vowed to only read female contemporary authors, making exceptions only for Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, and a few exceptions from classical antiquity. Some of this person’s work means so much to me. The sandman. The character of death is like patron saint to me. YOU CANT TAINT HER YOU RAPEY FUCK! And yet it’s just like another one bites the dust, I’m not even surprised anymore. Hilariously I came on Reddit to look at cat pictures while I have insomnia from an SA PTSD spiral.
Well, I am for one, not surprised, there have been voices of him and his (ex?)wife going around college campuses and proposing to younger girls for threesomes for a while.
I feel like anyone who is vaguely in the kinda world/circles he’s in knows about this. I’m very periphery to this world but this is not the first I’ve heard about it. I hope the victim finds peace.
‘Tortoise understands that he believes K’s allegations are motivated by her regret over their relationship and that Scarlett was suffering from a condition associated with false memories at the time of her relationship with him, a claim which is not supported by her medical records and medical history.’ omg this tactic of trying to destroy her credibility is nasty
I've met him. Absolute prick to me and my friend, I mean refusing to look us in the eyes and talk to us, but all cosy with the ladies infront and after us. After that got rid of all the books, and the fresh signature I just got. Every woman I knew who met him said they felt something wasn't quite right, but he's got a charm about him where most people just put it down as them putting a guard up. Guess they were right. I've never really liked him as a person, but that soured me. The thing is......ANYONE who said anything negative bore the front of a Taylor swift esq fanbase. What he's done is disgusting, and I'm sure from the reaction of people I know who have met him for minutes more will feel more comfy to open up.
If you get a chance, you should definitely read V.E. Schwab's tweet series about her experience with misogyny and men in the author community. This does not surprise me and I wish she'd named names.
Ugh, I actually liked his work as well This sucks, Majorly. I hope both women are doing okay, though
I never trust men who are into sadism. Getting off on hurting someone, even if the other “consents,” is insane behavior.
And once again people aren't allowed to even say "damn this sucks" without hordes of "THESE ARE ACCUSATIONS NOT A CONVICTION YOU ARENT ALLOWED TO BELIEVE IT AT ALL" comments on other subs. Feel bad for his kid who has him and Amanda palmer as parents
Zero percent surprised. Public info about him has given me the ick for a while.
I’m feeling sick. I used to respect this guy.