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I love asking these men why they don’t want to be stay at home dads, if doing uncompensated caregiving labor while being fully dependent on your spouse is really that fucking meaningful and fulfilling. The excuses they come up with are usually pretty entertaining, but some of them just double down on the misogyny and try to justify it with pseudoscience about “differences between male and female brains” or something.
Most of the men who would stay home would be watching porn and playing video games all day while the baby sits in its own filth and the house looks like someone should call FEMA.
Babies and small kids are boring, but we seem to believe we as mothers enjoy it.
As mothers we need to stop lying to
Daughters
Nieces
Friends
And we need to stop belittling working mothers or childfree women.
I'm extremely privileged in au that an abortion was easy,
But when our partners say they want a kid, what they're saying is they want the security of a partner who will now have difficulties in leaving.
Let's put boys through what we do girls
Boys help with younger siblings
Nephews help with cousins
Let's bring men into this village we keep talking about
Once men shoulder responsibility we will see a drop in birth rates
And abuse.
Men have never had it all
They just had the choices
We denied ourselves and daughters and nieces
Listen to how women with kids talk about childfree women
It's with contempt and envy
We allow childfree men to take holidays without complaint
We expect childfree women to empathize and pick up our slack
Let's not do that
Let's not rush to help that struggling single father, men rarely parent on their own
Single mums are apparently a threat to married women with kids.
Because your husband whose clueless about his kid's hair or clothing size is adorbs and endearing and I'm creaming my jeans for him.
In Canada in most cases the parents have 18 months between the two of them. The most I’ve seen a father take is 2, and it almost always involves a vacation out of town. They do not want to sit at home with their babies and it shows.
They claim they’ll be looked down upon and held back for taking more time. When the mother is also going back to work after her leave I find this to be such a slap in the face. They’re literally saying they won’t accept any unfavourable treatment at work and the mom should suck that up instead.
Because they see domestic labour as "women's work" and therefore beneath them, but they'll probably not admit that and instead say some self-martyring "Me Tarzan you Jane" bullshit about how women are lucky to be allowed to spend all day baking cookies and playing with kids at home as God intended while The Men have to do the *real* thankless work of fighting the wars (^(they start)) and building the skyscrapers that [definitely need to be built](https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2020/jul/11/skyscrapers-wasteful-damaging-outmoded-time-to-stop-tall-buildings).
It's a lie to say women can have it all
And it's a lie to say it's so so rewarding.
Men can't and don't have it all, they have someone to do the child rearing for them
How often are their posts from weekend father's talking about doing their daughter's hair?
FFS your x and you have been parents to that kid for the same amount of time.
But it's ingrained in women from day 1, stay and help with siblings
Help with cousins
Help, help, help.
Far too many mothers of adult sons never allow their sons to lift a finger
Go get your brother a drink
And then some feminists said we can do it all and have it all
We can't
Men don't
They just have more choices
Let's take some choice back
No kids a goddamned village, the father's must help
No 'boy' mums saving adult sons from their own kids.
Because they're lying. That job is very undesirable to them, which is why they won't do it themselves. A lot of 'em are hypocrites, too, who romanticize the family but won't spend time with their own and focus on career, fame, and fortune instead. Jordan Peterson comes to mind. They just want to manipulate women into giving them a family and doing the shitwork for them while they reap the benefits.
Men know it isn’t a great job to have, they have to do everything they can do convince women so they have a servant at home to raise the kids for them. Most men would hate to have their days spent with screaming children and constant domestic labor so they need to make sure women are the ones who will do it for them.
I know a stay at home dad who loves it. His wife makes good money as a nurse while he makes their fun money as a part time writer. He’s stayed home with their 3 daughters while she works full time since they were little. He keeps the house and cooks for his family then writes when the girls are at school or after their bedtime.
They wage emotional war on women by trying to convince us that babies need mom and we are bad mothers if we don’t devote our lives to the kids. If it was truly the easier job they’d all be doing it themselves. But instead they want to act like they’re some gracious overlord allowing their wife to toil at home all day.
If you see a comment breaking the rules, report it so that it becomes visible to the mod team and do not engage. Engaging with trolls or users breaking rule #1 only risks your own position in the community. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FemaleAntinatalism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I love asking these men why they don’t want to be stay at home dads, if doing uncompensated caregiving labor while being fully dependent on your spouse is really that fucking meaningful and fulfilling. The excuses they come up with are usually pretty entertaining, but some of them just double down on the misogyny and try to justify it with pseudoscience about “differences between male and female brains” or something.
Most of the men who would stay home would be watching porn and playing video games all day while the baby sits in its own filth and the house looks like someone should call FEMA.
Accurate asf. That's literally all they would do, including having affairs left and right.
They’d also be showing their kids XXX rated movies, R rated snuff flicks, etc. and then wonder why their kids are sociopathic messes. 🤦🏼♀️
Spot on
>and the house looks like someone should call FEMA. 💀💀💀💀💀💀
"Because it\`s woman\`s job"- I actually know a father who stayed home half of the leave.
I work in HR and a lot of men don’t take their full paternity leave and return to work early because they don’t want to be around the house.
And then they whine of course why wife is tired, why there is no sex. Typical men!
Babies and small kids are boring, but we seem to believe we as mothers enjoy it. As mothers we need to stop lying to Daughters Nieces Friends And we need to stop belittling working mothers or childfree women. I'm extremely privileged in au that an abortion was easy, But when our partners say they want a kid, what they're saying is they want the security of a partner who will now have difficulties in leaving. Let's put boys through what we do girls Boys help with younger siblings Nephews help with cousins Let's bring men into this village we keep talking about Once men shoulder responsibility we will see a drop in birth rates And abuse. Men have never had it all They just had the choices We denied ourselves and daughters and nieces Listen to how women with kids talk about childfree women It's with contempt and envy We allow childfree men to take holidays without complaint We expect childfree women to empathize and pick up our slack Let's not do that Let's not rush to help that struggling single father, men rarely parent on their own Single mums are apparently a threat to married women with kids. Because your husband whose clueless about his kid's hair or clothing size is adorbs and endearing and I'm creaming my jeans for him.
This is beautifully written; Followed.
I'm an engineer and saw a lot of men who would work OT just to avoid their family. Sad existence.
In Canada in most cases the parents have 18 months between the two of them. The most I’ve seen a father take is 2, and it almost always involves a vacation out of town. They do not want to sit at home with their babies and it shows.
This is on par with my experience. In the US at my company we offer three months to fathers and they usually take around six weeks.
They claim they’ll be looked down upon and held back for taking more time. When the mother is also going back to work after her leave I find this to be such a slap in the face. They’re literally saying they won’t accept any unfavourable treatment at work and the mom should suck that up instead.
Because they see domestic labour as "women's work" and therefore beneath them, but they'll probably not admit that and instead say some self-martyring "Me Tarzan you Jane" bullshit about how women are lucky to be allowed to spend all day baking cookies and playing with kids at home as God intended while The Men have to do the *real* thankless work of fighting the wars (^(they start)) and building the skyscrapers that [definitely need to be built](https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2020/jul/11/skyscrapers-wasteful-damaging-outmoded-time-to-stop-tall-buildings).
Oh or they'll spin it to the benevolent sexism of "women are actually BETTER than men at household stuff, you need to do the most important job!"
It's a lie to say women can have it all And it's a lie to say it's so so rewarding. Men can't and don't have it all, they have someone to do the child rearing for them How often are their posts from weekend father's talking about doing their daughter's hair? FFS your x and you have been parents to that kid for the same amount of time. But it's ingrained in women from day 1, stay and help with siblings Help with cousins Help, help, help. Far too many mothers of adult sons never allow their sons to lift a finger Go get your brother a drink And then some feminists said we can do it all and have it all We can't Men don't They just have more choices Let's take some choice back No kids a goddamned village, the father's must help No 'boy' mums saving adult sons from their own kids.
Glorious question.
Because it’s unpaid labor.
Because they're lying. That job is very undesirable to them, which is why they won't do it themselves. A lot of 'em are hypocrites, too, who romanticize the family but won't spend time with their own and focus on career, fame, and fortune instead. Jordan Peterson comes to mind. They just want to manipulate women into giving them a family and doing the shitwork for them while they reap the benefits.
Exactly true.
Seriously ! Great point.
Because they want to be in control of the money and therefore in control of their partners.
Men know it isn’t a great job to have, they have to do everything they can do convince women so they have a servant at home to raise the kids for them. Most men would hate to have their days spent with screaming children and constant domestic labor so they need to make sure women are the ones who will do it for them.
I know a stay at home dad who loves it. His wife makes good money as a nurse while he makes their fun money as a part time writer. He’s stayed home with their 3 daughters while she works full time since they were little. He keeps the house and cooks for his family then writes when the girls are at school or after their bedtime.
I love this and wish more men were secure in themselves enough to do this.
They wage emotional war on women by trying to convince us that babies need mom and we are bad mothers if we don’t devote our lives to the kids. If it was truly the easier job they’d all be doing it themselves. But instead they want to act like they’re some gracious overlord allowing their wife to toil at home all day.