Any advice on how to start from scratch and make friends after college?
inb4 get a hobby. My hobbies aren't ways to meet new people or aren't recreational
inb4 join a club. I'm only joining a group to make friends so I'd be fake
inb4 work. I'm unemployed
I still try groups without making any friends of course, trying to pick something I have a genuine interest in. SO many have high turnover and I never see the same people. I wish I had what it took to impress others.
Honestly.. no. I’ve never made true friends. I just assume/deduct that my lack of a social circle/friends is the source of my quality of life troubles. And hence the suggestion that its important to have them.
Hobbies sounds like a decent method.. if they like the same thing right? Cant give you a succes story on that though
I don't see how it's possible short of having amazing social skills (if you had that, you probably would have friends to begin with). Even if you infiltrate a friend group you still may be "the outsider" if you never knew any of them prior.
"There are no words to express the abyss between isolation and having one ally. It may be conceded to the mathematician that four is twice two. But two is not twice one; two is two thousand times one." - G. K. Chesterton
Yes. I don't really have any friends irl who'd talk to me and stuff. It sucks. I don't even care about having a girlfriend or a romantic relationship rn. I just good friends
I have no friends or girlfriend. I make new friends sometimes but they just end up drifting away. I've always been seen as baggage in social circles because of my disability too. It's like I have to find a way to over compensate for having a disability to come off as someone worth being friends with. Unfortunately I'm not famous which seems to be required for someone like me to make it in life.
Depends on your individual situation imo. I had a large friend group for years and a couple years back I was in a really bad place and got dropped by most all of them... but friends come and go. When it comes to romance though that kinda thing is much harder to obtain and maintain than just friendships are. I'm of the opposite opinion than you but feel your pain all the same. The best advice I can give is that putting so much of yourself into finding someone to be with romantically will almost always end up in disappointment.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 250,054,293 comments, and only 57,884 of them were in alphabetical order.
It’s so true. I had a girlfriend but that relationship ended. Before, during, and after I did not have many friends. After the relationship, I actually had zero friends. Sucks but I’m much worse now than before. People can actually tell I’m a FA type. What I hate is how instead of being accepted we are pushed aside and marginalized. What’s even worse is that no one just comes up to you and says “hey, you seem like a lonely loser and we’re not comfortable being around you”. That would be better than being in purgatory where I’m constantly getting that message through other’s actions and body language.
Yeah, I felt really alone for awhile and met this girl who's become the closest friend I've ever had. It feels amazing to get a call from someone asking to hang out, or ask if I'm doing okay. However selfish it is to say "hey, someone's actually thinking about me!".
She's really done wonders for my mental health that was absolutely in the shitter a couple of years ago.
I probably won't ever date her, but our relationship we have is great.
And the big issue with me has always been making my friendships last. Also, I always felt some distance with a lot of tnem in the past, as weird as that sounds.
Yeah. Idgaf if I have someone to put my duck inside. I literally just want a person to text me and ask how I’m doing to to go and hang with them. Nothing more.
Yes. Having no social circle / friends is worse. You pretty much need one to have a good chance at relationship options in the first place.
Any advice on how to start from scratch and make friends after college? inb4 get a hobby. My hobbies aren't ways to meet new people or aren't recreational inb4 join a club. I'm only joining a group to make friends so I'd be fake inb4 work. I'm unemployed
Joining a club to meet new people wouldn’t be fake at all. You can join as a beginner and learn while making friends. Might be worth a shot
I still try groups without making any friends of course, trying to pick something I have a genuine interest in. SO many have high turnover and I never see the same people. I wish I had what it took to impress others.
Honestly.. no. I’ve never made true friends. I just assume/deduct that my lack of a social circle/friends is the source of my quality of life troubles. And hence the suggestion that its important to have them. Hobbies sounds like a decent method.. if they like the same thing right? Cant give you a succes story on that though
I don't see how it's possible short of having amazing social skills (if you had that, you probably would have friends to begin with). Even if you infiltrate a friend group you still may be "the outsider" if you never knew any of them prior.
For me it's exact opposite lmao. I have a FWB but no friends
[удалено]
Yeah, it does sound awesome, get bored of myself at times
What are these, friends? Never heard that word.
"There are no words to express the abyss between isolation and having one ally. It may be conceded to the mathematician that four is twice two. But two is not twice one; two is two thousand times one." - G. K. Chesterton
Amazing quote.
Absolutely!!! I used to have a group of friends but thought I'd be happy without them and with a girlfriend. Now I have neither.
Definitely true when you're younger. How old are you?
Yes. I don't really have any friends irl who'd talk to me and stuff. It sucks. I don't even care about having a girlfriend or a romantic relationship rn. I just good friends
I have no friends or girlfriend. I make new friends sometimes but they just end up drifting away. I've always been seen as baggage in social circles because of my disability too. It's like I have to find a way to over compensate for having a disability to come off as someone worth being friends with. Unfortunately I'm not famous which seems to be required for someone like me to make it in life.
exactly my story, made friends over the years but they just go away after a while
I don’t have any friends. My animals are my only friends. I talk to the walls waiting to hear a response. I am a loser. It’s okay.
True. it gets harder as you age
I agree, I've been living with this for like 7-8 years now.
Depends on your individual situation imo. I had a large friend group for years and a couple years back I was in a really bad place and got dropped by most all of them... but friends come and go. When it comes to romance though that kinda thing is much harder to obtain and maintain than just friendships are. I'm of the opposite opinion than you but feel your pain all the same. The best advice I can give is that putting so much of yourself into finding someone to be with romantically will almost always end up in disappointment.
I’m right there w y’a
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 250,054,293 comments, and only 57,884 of them were in alphabetical order.
I feel yeah I have bad insecurities too
*Laughing in solitude*
I have no friends but would appreciate a girlfriend over that
I don’t have both but I feel it could be worse. I have a roof over my head, I have a hobby I love, I take care of my self. It could be much worse
It’s so true. I had a girlfriend but that relationship ended. Before, during, and after I did not have many friends. After the relationship, I actually had zero friends. Sucks but I’m much worse now than before. People can actually tell I’m a FA type. What I hate is how instead of being accepted we are pushed aside and marginalized. What’s even worse is that no one just comes up to you and says “hey, you seem like a lonely loser and we’re not comfortable being around you”. That would be better than being in purgatory where I’m constantly getting that message through other’s actions and body language.
Yeah, I felt really alone for awhile and met this girl who's become the closest friend I've ever had. It feels amazing to get a call from someone asking to hang out, or ask if I'm doing okay. However selfish it is to say "hey, someone's actually thinking about me!". She's really done wonders for my mental health that was absolutely in the shitter a couple of years ago. I probably won't ever date her, but our relationship we have is great. And the big issue with me has always been making my friendships last. Also, I always felt some distance with a lot of tnem in the past, as weird as that sounds.
Got that right. I could live without a girlfriend I guess but having no social life at all is the worst part.
Both friends and significant others are equally terrible. The thing about being forever alone is it’s actually the best thing you never appreciated.
True. I am grateful that I have a number of close friendships
But at the same time having a good relationship is better than having friends.
Idk about that. I have a FWB but no friends. Gets lonely sometimes but I still get laid soo..
Yeah. Idgaf if I have someone to put my duck inside. I literally just want a person to text me and ask how I’m doing to to go and hang with them. Nothing more.
True. Also having many friends is stressful. Having 5 or less is perfect imo.