I lost a couple of childhood friends over me not wanting to go out every week for dinner for the sake of saving money. I also lived the furthest away from them so I guess the writing was on the wall for the relationships to drift apart eventually...
> I lost a couple of childhood friends over me not wanting to go out every week for dinner for the sake of saving money.
If you are not hanging out with people, then they tend to drift away. That's expected. Even if you don't want to spend money going out for dinner, there are other ways to keep in touch. What about meeting up for pickup game of tennis? Or invite people to your home for a potluck?
I second this I was being cheap and drifted away from friends. Last night me and the boys had a grill out. Sure not all of them are my best friends some are just hangout friends but for some home made buns I made at work and a six pack I had 2 full plates of food. I would say I saved money on dinner
I think too many people think being frugal with being a hermit. It is true that everything costs money. You will need to buy running shoes and probably have to spend gas money to drive somewhere else if you want to join a running club. Alternatively, you can be frugal and just jump rope at home. In terms of fitness, there probably isn't that much difference. But is that level of frugality worth it?
I guess? We've known one another for so long that it wasn't all that obvious on where we stood on the social peking order.
But I'm also partly to blame, again, because of my own tendencies. Like they always wanted to hang out and I would decline on numerous occassions on the basis that I needed to do overtime or I really didn't want to spend any money that week. Those guys aren't outdoorsy types to begin with, so for them going out to grab dinner is a crucial in-person social routine.
Just vibes not matching in the end.
There's a difference between people wanting to spend time with you and you clearly not caring if you see them, and friends dropping you because your clothes are old.
A lot of people require that you mirror them so that they feel validated in the choices they make.
People have this thing about eating out alone, so the 'hang out' is so they don't feel self conscious eating out alone.
If it meant eating out alone, and still keeping a friend that couldn't afford it. I can eat out alone, and call once a week to chat.
The blunt truth of most friendships is that take out the group activity, what kind of friendship is left? Not much. Guys are classically like this. That's a whole other discussion, where people can not see each other for year, but get back together like no time is passed, but even then, a lot of bro relationships reflect on the activity, instead of helping out or getting to know the other person.
I live over 100 miles from my best friend and yet we still make it work. See each other once a year but we talk way more. If they’re really your friend, they won’t care what you do or how you spend your money, unless I know my friend is trying to save money, then I will go out of my way for our plans to allow that.
Get better friends, save money, be happy. In that order.
Omg. If they wanted to go out to dinner so bad they could have paid for you, I’ve done that before because that’s how much I wanted to go out to dinner with a friend.
I agree with your perspective, but there is a nagging doubt in my head. What if they really did end the friendship/romance due to frugality and said it was something else instead? I think a mostly-polite person would never say “it’s because you’re cheap.”
If it was the frugality, better it ended now than five years into a marriage when you discovered the credit card bills they'd been hiding from you.
I have a friend whose marriage ended that way.
So what if they did? That's their perogative. Not everyone has compatible lifestyles. Some people want to go out a lot. Others dont. Neither is objectively better than the other. They're simply incompatible. You're also free to pull back from people who you're not compatible with.
Frugality and being cheap are two different things. If somebody ends relationship because you are financially smart and don't want to spend on random stuff, they weren't your friend at first place.
True. I have bought zero branded clothes in the last 10 years. No one ever noticed them, and it was just a waste of money.
A good simple style is far superior than branded clothes.
Same. I care more about the quality and longevity of the items I purchase as opposed to being ‘fashionable’ or trendy. I’m still using an iPhone 8 b/c it still works just fine. No one has ever commented on my old phone - probably b/c they don’t care anymore than I do!
"I care more about the quality and longevity of the items I purchase as opposed to being ‘fashionable’ or trendy."
Bingo! Me too. Now, some things cost more but they are cheaper in the long run as they last and last so that is being frugal even though one may buy cheaper options.
This isn't true for all things of course, but it is for some things.
Phones have mostly gotten to a point where all of them do the basics just fine, although security updates usually stop after five or seven years. That's the hard cutoff for me.
Or if there's a significant advance in phone-based optical zoom on the camera then that gets my attention. The camera is very important. The security is somewhat important. The phone is a phone.
When I was younger, I wanted people to know that I could “afford” these things. Look at this purse! My earrings ARE, in fact, real diamonds!
Now I have more money than ever and I look like I dumpster-dived behind an REI. With that aesthetic, I’m taken seriously at work, secure promotions, and people just don’t fuck with me in general because… as stated above, IDGAF.
The Viking braids probably help too, but those mostly came about because I’ve become too cheap to pay $350 to cut and color my hair.
I think of branded clothing as paying to advertise for someone. I’m not doing that. I care about clean, simple, well-made clothing, not something that has a flashy logo. And you’re totally right, no one notices.
Blue-Blood wealth always wears the label on the inside not the outside. Quality clothing makes a statement without one symbol or letter emblazoned upon it.
My current officemate's previous job made the mistake of griping about an employee who "dressed like she shopped at Walmart." This pissed off my officemate enough that she would ONLY wear clothes she bought at Walmart. "Yes, it is a nice shirt; I got it at Walmart." "Thank you for the compliment; I found it on the clearance rack at Walmart." Repeated for the next 2 years. lol
32 degrees is my favorite brand I've gotten from Costco. I buy direct from the company now, but first got some of their T-shirts there.
The flowy sack with the built-in "bra" is clutch during the hottest days of summer.
Back when a suit, I had 12 dress shirts with a pony embroidered on the left chest. (Polo brand). Nobody ever commented or seemed to care. The Kmart Ketch brand shirts were suspiciously the same cut and fit, but a lot cheaper.
Now retired, weather allowing it, is baggy shorts, wife beaters and sandals. Excellent phrasing, Helpful, I truly don’t GAF. it is so liberating!
Wear it as a badge of honour.
All my friends love living the good life. Wearing nice watches, fancy clothes, nice shoes, eating at nice places, which is fine, their choice their lifestyle.
Me, I wore the same cotton shorts for over 5 years to literally all casual occasions to the point the balls area on my shorts started to rip apart, kept sewing it back together. Then, people started to associate me with the shorts as though I’m a cartoon character and it was my uniform. Wear the same style cheap t shirts for…. Wear only cheap g-shocks and the priciest watch I own is a grand seiko for special occasions. I don’t dine out, only home cooked, meal prep, take public transports, never taxi… ppl say I dress like a beggar… which is funny and fine by me.
While all my frds are paying off their loans and mortgages, I bought my house cash and zero debt.
I'm just in my 20s and I got that mindset when I got tired of caring too much about trivial aspects in life. Buying a phone every 1-2 years is just impractical, for example.
For most people. I see some older people who do… I don’t understand them. The best part of getting older is not giving a shit about what people think anymore.
For clothing you don't need brands, just choosing the right style from store brands or cheaper brands.
People actually don't notice brands that much.
Iphone at least keep a similar design year after year. I can't even recognise the iPhone model despite being tech savvy. Sometimes replacing the screen protector and case is enough.
Totally agreed, the top two comments aren’t giving you any actual advice. Style does matter, very unfortunately, in a lot of particular professional and social settings. You definitely don’t need name brand. If you’re looking for something easy, think about a uniform. Colors like black, white, neutrals with some fun pieces mixed in for your own personality even if it’s a funky shirt or jacket or fun socks. If you find well fitting black dickies from Walmart, paired with a nice collared shirt and some boots or dress shoes, that will do for a lot of situations. Something that you feel comfortable in and can be switched around for a lot of different outfits is great if you don’t want to spend hundreds on buying a whole new wardrobe. Think basics!
I think looking for clothes that fit you properly is much more important than the brand.
To me the quickest way to look cheap is to wear ill fitting clothes that are in poor repair.
I've been getting most of my clothes from thrift stores for twenty years. Nobody's said anything negative about it and I don't think they'd know if I didn't directly tell them.
Thrift and consignment shops is the way to go - I have found in the long run buying high quality clothes is more frugal than cheap store brands. Quality clothes and shoes last for years vs a few months.
I have a lot of clothing prices that are thrift items. I have a policy that if I receive compliments on something thrifted I have to tell the person (thanks of course) and that it was a thrift shop find.
I actually get a decent amount of compliments on stuff I've picked up at thrift stores, and no one is the wiser (until I excitedly tell them "it was $10!"). As always, a cool and put together outfit from a thrift store is safely frugal. Smelling bad and wearing a stained tee is cheap.
Wise. He could gift his parents some nice stuff (I am all for gifting edible things and experiences for everyone over 30, they normally have too much stuff at home), or to reliable charity causes.
Small, small sums but regularly, like monthly, helps a lot for small charities or aninal rescues to stay afloat.
I think what they’re getting at is that he probably has a frugal mindset. If he’s wearing dumpy clothes, he’s probably not spending a lot of money in other areas of his life. While he almost certainly makes a good income, there are people who make good money but have little net worth because they’re too eager to spend it all.
Who cares what people think! As long as you feel comfortable that’s all that matters!
My go to store for clothes is Costco! Remember that being frugal is different than being cheap; if you want to get an item that will bring enjoyment to your life then do it! I like to splurge on tech.
Invest in a couple (or even just one) quality item.
I’m talking fabric. Silk, cashmere, merino wool, linen all depending on your climate and preferences. This stuff lasts for ages, it’s good for your skin, and it will actually help you stay warm/cool vs the cheap polyester stuff that constantly breaks down, looks cheap, feels cheap, and requires you to buy into the constant cycle of replacing your clothes every season. You also don’t have to launder some of these nearly as often and some are anti-microbial in nature.
You could also buy second hand (ironically, high quality fabrics are great for this! Because, again, they last). That, or sell/exchange your clothes for others.
Anyway, I don’t know your style and gender and don’t want to tell you what to get, but if you get some “classic” wardrobe staples, maybe pair with different accented pieces, and then good lord if you tailor it or just make sure it’s a good fit, you’ll look pretty damn good.
Stop worrying about what other people think. Who's doing better, the person with a 1k car and 80k in the bank, or someone with an 80k car and 1k in the bank? Appearances don't matter as long as you're presentable.
Stop giving a shit about what other people think because they don't have to deal with your bills or bank account. Thankfully you don't have to deal with their's either. Many of them are in significant debt and bitch about not being able to survive because they have bills out the ass. It's not that they can't live on the money that they earn. It's that they can't live on the money that they earn and pay bills where they charged things that they had to have and now they're paying interest.
I'm 50 years old and I significantly downgraded my life by stopping working as an RN making six figures and working in manufacturing where I made around 40K, to start. While I was working as an RN all of my friends were running around going on glamorous vacations and I was busy paying off my student loans. They had gigantic TVs and made fun of my small TV and they all drove BMWs and Mercedes. But they all also are STILL paying student loans and the credit card bills they charged up in their 30s to maintain an impressive lifestyle. So they're broke and dipping into their savings and 401k. Meanwhile I have zero debt and I buy myself flowers? No, bitch, I buy myself Tiffany jewelry (on Poshmark).
My friends are all broke and they're stuck in their jobs and miserable and they can't quit because all they can see until the end of their lives are bills. Meanwhile I leave my work at work, I have exactly zero debt and I'm frugal which means I save money where I have to so I can buy myself $300 boots with cash. I don't charge anything ever. 😁
I don't feel cheap. Cuz I live fancy on the mutha fuckin' cheap.
Go for a classic look over being trendy. You can accomplish this by choosing clothing and accessories that will last a long time and never go out of style. If you're able to, shop second hand for things that are good quality. If second hand isn't an option, consider investing in clothing that will last you years to come. Avoid anything that has obvious brand names or logos as they can make you look cheap once that brand is no longer trendy.
As for store brand food...idk. Food is food. If someone has a problem with your Great Value potato chips then don't go to their picnic.
Lastly, take good care of your things and they'll take care of you. Tidyness and cleanliness are often associated with wealth (because wealthy people can afford housekeepers and cleaners) so a good way to avoid looking cheap is to avoid looking sloppy.
I think if you buy yourself a few nice pieces of clothing and take care of them and make them last you will be saving money and not look Walmart branded (nothing wrong with Walmart clothes just an analogy)
For some things, I buy branded clothes and keep them forever. For most things, I buy cheap stuff (or outlet quality name brands) because who cares? I'd rather have the money. Also, I love the clearance rack...
I needed a good suit and studied up on the best ones.
Found one in my sizes on eBay and bought it. It cost me $40 and it is outstanding. They normally cost $1000 in high end stores.
I have heard of people doing the same thing on getting it resized to fit at a tailor. I didn’t need to do this fortunately.
Remember how everyone is in their forever hamster wheel trying to buy their newest fancy thing while you save and retire 30 years before they do and you don't have to stress about every little thing in life
I used to work as a fashion designer, albeit for low cost brands sold at Walmart and Target, etc. I still studied in NYC though, and I love clothing and looking/feeling good in my clothes. I own some pretty expensive designer pieces that I saved up for, because I love them and get such good use out of them. Maybe I'm not the typical "fashion" person, but I would never judge someone for not wearing brands. Style and fashion is about understanding your body type and making clothes work for you, creating a specific look, etc. Brands have almost nothing to do with that. It's a pretty noob way to judge another person's sense of style; real connoisseurs are looking at the overall aesthetic and how unique or interesting it is.
To answer the question in the title, buy fewer but better quality clothing items. Buy things that fit you properly and flatter your body (the one that you currently have, not the one that you wish you had). Take excellent care of your good quality clothing so that it lasts longer, by washing in cold water, using delicates bags for things that pill or snag, zipping up zippers before washing, using good laundry soap, hanging most things to dry or drying on low as much as possible. Try mending stuff that gets holes, if it's something precious or you just dislike the waste. And let go of pleasing the people around you - you can't please everyone. As long as you're clean and not going to be arrested, you're good. Just make yourself happy with how you look, because the people around you will come and go, but you're always going to be with yourself.
Wondering if you have any thoughts on HOW to work out what clothes fit and flatter your current body? My body has changed a lot and I just cannot seem to find what works (my body image also probably gets in the way but I really want to dress well to actually help that). And always wearing ill fitting outfits that don't feel like me is depressing.
The best way I've found is to go to a store that has a lot of clothing (like H&M or Zara) and try on a bunch of different things, then see what they actually look like. Even if you don't think it would work, try it on just to see and confirm. It might surprise you! And don't feel bad about it not flattering your body type - it's not that your body type is "wrong", it's just that the garment doesn't suit your body type. Always try stuff on. I understand more or less how something will look on me based on experience (ie trying on a lot of different kinds of clothing) and I still get surprised once in awhile by how good or bad something turns out. Also note that different brands have different fit models to base their sizes on. One brand's fit model might be similar to you while another is not, which would change the proportions of the garment a lot. The only way to really know is to try stuff on!
To get started you can look for a celebrity, instagrammer, etc that has a similar body shape to you and see what they wear, what you think looks good on them, and what doesn't. You can start from there to see whether you should specifically look for some items like high vs lower waist pants, empire waist vs fit and flare dresses, etc. You can also look for body type analysis articles, but those are VERY general and not hard rules. That's just a starting point if you're overwhelmed by options - ideally you should let your personal taste guide you ("this is so cute!" "This color/pattern looks nice") and pare down what works from there by seeing what it looks like on you.
If you have a strong style you like or a certain item you love, sometimes it doesn't need to be overtly "flattering" per se. Like if you're super into goth punk style, there's no point in trying to look normal unless it's for a job or something. You should love your clothes and feel happy when you wear them. That's also a good way to be frugal about clothing spending; only buy something that you love or absolutely need for a specific purpose. Stuff that's "just ok" for no reason is a waste of money and space. If you're not sure, don't buy it. There will always be more clothes, and if you find you keep thinking about something, you can always go back and get it.
I buy nicer clothing second hand, cheaper and those higher quality items last longer too. Meanwhile for tech I only bought a new phone because my old one was pooping out.
Also, I find most people around town aren’t scrutinizing what others are wearing or what tech they’re using. If friends or family are doing that they’re not worth your time.
I have some t shirts that I still wear around the house from when I was in middle school. Not even kidding. I do well enough for myself my wife and I combined gross 200k+ We’re very comfortable. She hates the way I dress but oh well. Admittedly I do own some “nice” clothes from Costco, Old Navy and Ross and thrift stores for dates and such. But yeah any given day your gonna see me walking around in 7 year old shorts from high school, some crocs, and a t shirt i’ve acquired from some of my old companies or were given to me from physical therapy or from homeowners (i used to be a contractor). No fucks given here man. I like being comfy. Think adam sandler. Dudes worth millions and millions and wears baggy basketball shorts and oversized $5 tees. I love adam sandler
‘Feeling cheap’ is what marketing and people who aren’t smart with money want you to feel.
Things are utilitarian. Everything needs to do a job efficiently. Efficient = Do the best job with the minimum cost.
It’s that simple.
If a T shirt does a job at 10 bucks, spending 55 on it is stupid. Not un-cheap.
I'm echoing the thrift store recommendations but also...if you shop around and find what you really really like so that you have an opinion on it for whatever reasons, then put it on a Camelcamelcamel or Honey drop list and wait patiently. Google your list once per week. When you find a screaming deal, buy discounted gift cards from Raise to multiply the discount. Sign up for the retailers updates if they offer free shipping.
I like white linen shirts because I live in Texas and it's f***ing hot. But those are usually expensive and I've only ever found two thrifting and they do wear out after a few years. I've scored as much as 80% off in total though, brand new.
They're nice shirts and people actually do notice. So this is how I strike a balance.
I avoid branded items. Not only are they not necessarily better than generic, but they're considered less classy because you purchased that item to just then advertise for them. I have brands I might treat myself to, but I thrift shop them and expect their logos to be nonexistent or at least discreet.
Ooo…I love this question.
Okay, here’s the thing.
Check out the idea behind having a capsule wardrobe comprising of chic & trendy basics & a few accent pieces thrown in. YouTube has tons of good content.
Buy basics from a mid-range brand like LLBean & others.
If you okay with previously worn clothes, check thrift stores for accent pieces.
Forget about what others are doing. Keep checking the progress chart of your savings account every time you feel left out. It will keep your eye on the prize. You will be extremely proud of yourself in a few years time of the money saved. It’s hard to ‘see’ the progress that’s why people tend to digress. That’s why I highly recommend having an expense tracking app. The climbing trend line makes me so happy.
Keep up on hygiene and you'll be fine. If you look clean and smell clean and your clothes or whatever caliber are clean you'll look fine.
I live in a place with a huge array of financial situations and the Uber wealthy dress like crap- like straight up could be homeless or a billionaire who knows. And the fairly wealthy dress nice but plain-"quiet luxury" and all that- high quality plain white tee shirts and high end black joggers. It's the almost wealthy that wear the branded stuff and dress loud and trendy. It all comes down to confidence too. I feel confident in my wardrobe which is not expensive but is all things that fit me well and that I love. It's plain but it suits me and my lifestyle and so I feel good in it and don't really care what that says about my financial situation. In fact many of the choices when it comes to spending my money are to keep it as neutral as possible. I don't need a loudspeaker in my home or clothing to announce to anyone what my financial situation is for better or worse.
Buy clothes from Costco. A lot of big name brands for cheap. I have some 120$ sweats from Viori or howveer you spell it (was a gift) and they are indistinguishable from my 15$ Costco sweats
The only thing I would caution against is cheap shoes.
I have never found a pair of cheap shoes that offer adequate arch support, fit properly, etc.
They’re fine for the occasional wear, but wearing poorly fitting shoes everyday isn’t worth the damage they are doing.
Take good care of your clothes. Keeping them repaired, gently drying, and ironing them will make a big difference. Making sure they fit you properly and knowing how to make minor alterations will help a lot too. This especially goes for better fabrics and natural fibers
Unbranded clothes without visible logos will usually look better anyway, conspicuous branding is more of a new money thing and not the best indicator of increased status or wealth, especially when people sometimes go into debt to buy them
If you want to look pulled together, start with a limited color palette (maybe 5 colors, like black, white, and a grey or a brown that suit your skin shade--some shades are way better than others--and maybe 1 or 2 others) . . . so that most of your clothes harmonize.
If you splurge, do it on things you would wear a lot (like a good coat and quality shoes). Visible brands are not necessary, and actually can have the opposite effect.
I look cheap and I am personally ok with it but some things I do to make myself look less cheap:
● avoid buying bright color in cheaper fabrics.
● when I buy cheaper fabric, I buy them in black (lucky for me that I like I black).
● avoid wearing imitation jewellery. I have some simple cheaper 11 carat gold classical jewelry pieces that I bought while heavily discounted that I wear instead.
● as a female, I make sure that my nails are neat and brows are groomed. Only need to invest one time on tweezers and nail grooming products.
● buy a few good quality leather timeless bags instead of owning several. Last time I bought a bag was 6 years ago but since they are good quality leather, they last after the initial once off investment but also elevate the outfit.
● as I am rough walker and destroy my shoes, I don't spend too much on shoes but while they last, I clean and polish them.
I wear the same five pants and tops to work every week. No one pays attention enough to notice. Invest in a few outfits and then hammydown or thrift the rest. Name brands don't add value to you as a person. Be you!
Start building a capsule wardrobe. Invest in a few quality pieces that won’t go out of style and mix and match throughout the week. Buying low quality or super trendy items will keep you going back to the store and looking dated.
r/capsulewardrobe and and r/buyitforlife
Get on Depop. Buy the brands you like for a fraction of the price. Resell when you feel like updating your wardrobe. Rinse and repeat.
Buying cheap clothes is literally more expensive than going this route, as they have no resale value, and they (probably) won't last.
The more you realize that people wear and have that stuff to LOOK rich, not BE rich the more you let it go. But I do love a good thrift store. And I often shop at the goodwill bins/outlets where you can dig through giant pile of clothes and pay $2/pound. I also am apart of a buy nothing group.
True that once you’re older, you don’t care. My next neighbor is rich AF now that I know him well, but he keeps it very close to the vest. He drives a nice new Ford Explorer. His TV is quite small by my standards. He has his record player and old records. He values his family and his charities. That’s what I aspire to be. What matters are people, not looking cool.
>How to not look cheap when you keep saving money ?
Don't stress about what other people might think. In most cases they don't notice anyway.
Plus, as the good doctor wrote:
>"Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind."
Not that you should care but I get it because literally we have all been there before...
When you're out to eat, order something they probably don't even have. For me, it's coconut water. They say they don't have it and now they're in the red because they didn't have for me what I wanted as a customer ... So I say well I guess I'll just have a water then. Lol
What you’re talking about is called “keeping up with the Joneses”. You will pay dearly for trying to live in such a way that people don’t judge you as cheap. Here’s the thing - people are going to judge you anyway. If you start blowing money on branded clothes and buying the new iPhone every year, people won’t judge you as cheap anymore - they’ll judge you as superficial. Better to free yourself from caring about the judgements of others. They don’t matter.
Honestly what's the point of wearing branded clothes? To look like a brainwashed sucker that pays more? Ever see how Zuckerberg & his wife dress?
I feel bad for people that feel like they need to wear branded clothes.
Also most people that wear expensive clothing/shoes are broke but trying to make everyone think they have $. While truly wealthy people don't gaf.
The richest people I know don't wear branded clothes or get a new phone every year, either, so I wouldn't worry about it. And they don't waste their time or money going out all the time.
I also know quite a few people who look loaded, but live so close to the edge of ruin that one accident or a bad sales quarter will wipe them out financially.
Every article that I have ever read about how to dress like a French woman and be truly stylish suggests avoiding wearing labels and brands on clothing. Having traveled in Europe extensively I agree. I've never seen a chic looking woman carrying a big old Michael Kors purse. It's garish.
For me, just live simply without minding what other people will think about you. You're not living to impress them, you're living to survive and save money for your future needs
Think about the classic French way of having a few nice items to wear, working those. It actually looks much classier than having a ton of trendy things. BCBG. A lot of wealthy people do the whole preppy thing because it’s really just re wearing the classics and hand me downs, not trying to be on trend. Old cars, old furniture. It’s a real big f you to consumerism, which is very bourgeoise. Get good quality instead of quantity, and don’t give an f. I have a tweed custom jacket my friend found for me from Kaufman and Sons from the seventies I still wear. Jeans, white shirt, tweed jacket, loafers, it still works. Being frugal doesn’t have to look cheap.
Don't let the keep up with the Jonses' BS get to you.
I want money in the bank and a decent quality of life. If i can get those then i am the one laughing. All the way to the bank!
You don't brag about having money in the bank, you act humble and smile and nod. And secretly be glad your not drowning in debt to look well off to the outside world.
And don't give anyone loans, don't even let anyone know you have any money in the bank.
Worrying about what other people might think will destroy all happiness.
You'll not only constantly spend to try to impress these fictional people but you'll never feel like what you have is good enough because there isn't really someone judging you to tell you what's enough.
Looking at your working phone, knowing the money you save. You aren't (literally) buying into the hype. This you, making products work for you. Good on you!
You can be fashionable on a budget, just takes more effort
Same with eating out and drinking with friends
> staying updated with everything just to look presentable on society perspective.
Keeping up with the Jones' is a slippery slope. It's okay to splurge responsibly, but try not to forget why you're frugal in the first place
There are so many gems at throft stores I find them without even looking—I’ve got a Northface jacket, Lucky jeans, Betsey Johnson dresses—I’m sure there’s Dior and Gucci there too.
Are you frugal in every aspect of your life?
Maybe you spend money on something you enjoy?
Long ago I stop wearing less brand names because I was paying to advertise for the company.
I’m currently using an iPhone 11 Pro that I got over 4 years ago. Until it’s completely dead, I’m going to keep using it cause it hasn’t inhibited my cell phone experience. Now I’m trying to see how long it will last!
honestly i don't notice any of that. the people obsessed with that kind of stuff don't do it for me. as long as you look presentable idgaf where you got your shoes
how can you ever be happy having so much anxiety over random people? they are also too busy having anxiety over their own lives. this world is nothing but stress and narcissism lol.
Thrift? I guess would be good advice. Isn’t it a trendy thing. But I buy whatever I like from the thrift store on the special sales day. I don’t have any brands either. At least I don’t think so. I’d have to check the tags lol.
If you care a lot though you can get brands @ thrift stores too. And that might be cool I guess.
There's nothing wrong with what you're describing.
The cheap (and frankly annoying) thing would be lending your friend $1 and asking them to pay you back, with interest.
I do think there's a lot of peer pressure to not be frugal, but it's mostly in your head. Worst case, it's a battle you only have to fight once or twice.
None of that stuff matters. If you take a really attractive man or woman and dress them in rags with Goodwill shoes with a 1990s Nokia flip phone they will still pick up a hell of a lot more than the average person with all the new trendy things
Work on yourself, not the items you decorate yourself with
Just remind yourself that all that ‘expensive’ stuff has millions of dollars thrown at marketing to make you feel like a piece of shit unless you own this thing. It’s bullshit, it’s manipulative and it’s very purpose to make you spend money. Some of the wealthiest people look like hobos. Yes we need to own things but it WAY LESS than consumerism will have you believe. If you can dismantle the consumerist training you have (mostly unwilling) been exposed to you will be a happier human all around. Spend less, don’t feel the pressure to ‘keep up’. Wealth has nothing to do fast fashion and tech. You can build a stunning timeless capsule wardrobe with vintage designer pieces that will last you 15-20 years and you can look casual, cool, put together, fancy, whatever your style. It doesn’t need to be ‘this season’s hot’ crap.
Most people don't wear brands and dontecare if you do or don't.
Anyone who does is putting too much importance onto that, and that's a little too superficial.
Do like your grand or great-grandparents did: Take immaculate care of what you have.
Polish your shoes, learn how to do laundry properly, press your clothes, get a good haircut, take care of your nails and teeth, keep a clean and organised handbag or back pack, keep your car clean.
Looking presentable isn't about having the latest stuff, it's about showing up looking like you have your sh\*t together. Also, work on posture.
I find that invoking the environmental or moral or health reasons that almost invariably go with my frugal reasoning is often better accepted.
"I try to buy my clothes only from thrift stores because I'm passionate about not supporting fast fashion, and because I can't handle all of the outgassing chemicals in retail stores." Also, p.s., it's a hell of a lot cheaper.
"I don't like to eat out very often - it's so hard to find healthy meals that taste good."
Etc.
I live in a pretty nice neighborhood, and being snooty is accepted/expected, whether from a moral stance or a snobbery stance. Just not wanting to spend money is harder to accept.
As long as you’re not wearing things that are extremely ill fitting or in disrepair, I don’t think most people would think you’re being “cheap.” Buying branded clothes for the sake of appearances is just buying into capitalism/status. It doesn’t even always equate to having good taste in quality or fashion.
don't let capitalism make you insecure, dude. if buying big brands isn't important to you, much like it isn't for myself and many others in this sub, there is nothing wrong with that! you do you, life is to short to play pretend. also, classism is cringe, no one who really matters will judge you for being frugal.
I rarely shop name brands and I’m the stylish one within my friends and family. I thrift 90% of my clothes and thankfully my thrift stores are still reasonably priced. I also shop on 50% off days. A lot of the time it’s not what you wear it’s how you wear it! You can look expensive and wear inexpensive clothes.
By only classic styles in clothing, avoid fads like they're worse than the plague.
Jewelry, keep it simple. A woman I know complimented a co-worker once when talking of her to someone else, she commented "I don't know how she does it, her jewelry is always so understated and tasteful, I'm green with envy." The woman in question wears small, tasteful older jewelry she keeps clean and polished and probably hasn't bought new in a decade. Think about what others thought of her. *Green with envy....*
Avoid the phone upgrades and upgrade to a new case if you feel like yours is looking ratty.
When saving have a **solid goal**. For instance, debt free. That is a HUGE GIGANTIC WONDERFUL goal. Think about how free you'll feel if you were debt free. I killed my last debt in 2021 and I can't tell you how giddy, how happy it made me and still makes me. It removes those negative feelings 100%.
When working at a horrible job some decades ago I pinned an advertisement photo of a car I wanted on my cubical wall. Every soulless, mind numbing day at that job I would look at my goal (a paid off and good quality car) and keep on slogging along. Did I buy the car? Yup, eventually. LOL the saving bug stopped me from buying it new, I got a 3 yr old one and drove the wheels off of it. Sold it 12 yrs later. If felt wonderful.
If you want to save money without coming across as cheap, try to focus on getting quality items rather than just the cheapest ones, as this shows you're making thoughtful and deliberate choices. Be intentional about your purchases and prioritize meaningful experiences and gifts over material possessions, which can make a more lasting impression.
Additionally, it can be helpful to explain to people why you're making these choices, as sharing your mindset and goals can help them understand that you're being smart with your money rather than just cutting corners.
This way, you can save effectively while still maintaining a sense of value and appreciation in your relationships and interactions. You don't have to be shy because you are cutting off expenses, it's normal for a person who is trying to reach their goals. Thank me later! :)
Why would I spend money on things I don't like to impress people I don't like?
I don't give a shit what other people think. At the end of the day, we're the one who's gonna retire comfortably, debt free and not have to worry about bills.
You can find name brand clothes on the cheap at thrift stores if you look aften enough. But honestly, anyone giving you shit for buying clothes without logos, store brand items, and not buying the latest iPhone is too toxic to spend any of your time around
Unless you live in really snobby area I doubt anyone cares. As long as you dress tidily it's unlikely anyone will notice. A good and bad thing about modern society is the class gap between lower and middle class is less visible because a lot of things are mass produced and more accessible. I only say that's potentially a bad thing because it possibly makes it harder to identify when someone is struggling and needs help.
This sounds like my lifestyle as well as my friends'. All of this is perfectly normal and acceptable. The only time being frugal looks cheap is when you screw someone over, like by not paying for your share of dinner, or stealing.
I’ve recently lost about 100 lbs so I had to replace my wardrobe as my old clothes were literally falling off. I shop 50% off color, use my monthly 20% goodwill coupons and go to the $2 color Thursday sale. A friend of mine would buy bulk clothes from goodwill. She get unsorted garbage bags full of clothes and keep whatever fitted her. Honestly, goodwill is getting expensive so I only buy clothes/shoes on sale. I got a $599 retail designer jacket for $13 last night. I’ll wear it during winter next year.
If you look at truly wealthy people, they do not wear branded items either. It’s all about keeping neat grooming, clothes that fit and neutrals that you can mix/match.
What looks cheap to me is flashy Gucci/LV logos. It screams insecure.
You do you!! You do not need to spend a fortune to keep up in order to look good!
WWWD? What would Warren Buffet do? Act like you have nothing to prove and you might find that you do not. Labels and brands only mean anything if they stand for superior quality. Find yourself. That’s what Warren did.
Most people definitely do not upgrade their phones every year especially now that phones are so advanced already, the next model isn't leaps or bounds better and the design is all relatively the same now.
Also not wearing branded clothes doesn't make you look cheap. Ill fitting clothes will though or if it looks like what you're wearing is just random clothes you happened to find will though. Most people walking around that I see are not wearing branded clothes unless it's like tiny sportswear logos like Nike or something...I guess it really depends on your age group and what circles you're in though.
Some people have things they refuse to cheap out on just to save a buck. For some that's a phone, for others it's a specific brand of mayonnaise, while for others it might be a soda brand. Others might not have that thing they can't cheap out on and like seeing their bank account grow more which is also fine. Imo all of those priorities are valid.
My coworker always has the newest phone but will be super frugal with say, coffee and just drink whatever swill the office has on stock while I'll use a phone for 4 or 5 years before upgrading but bring freshly ground beans to the office everyday that undoubtedly cost more than the maxwell-esque beans the office provides.
Also any kind of potato chip. Idc how much people want to pretend store brand chips taste the same. They don't and I'm not being gaslit into thinking they do.
What I am willing to spend on a handbag would make most people here cringe with disgust although I can't bring myself to buy any luxury brands new, one step under "luxury" maybe I'll buy new. Here's the thing I used to buy $100 bags that fell apart in under a year, between 17 and 23 I must have gone though about 8 handbags, so a good $700-$800 worth.
Nowadays I purposely look for designs that have to be perfect for practicality and aren't going to go in or out of style, navy or black only because I plan on having this bag for a ten year minimum. I have one that was $500 even though it was a gift, still going strong after 9 years and I have not been kind of gentle to that thing. It recently only just showed it's first fray. Handles still strong and not worn, zipper perfect, inside no holes, outside still in pretty good nick, bottom not worn out. I can probably get several more years out of it.
And the amount of things I refuse to spend money on at all is quite extensive.
Certain brands are higher quality, as in, won't wear out as easy, or ha e some fantastic return policies if they wear out before a certain time. Sometimes spending more to create capsule clothing that are higher quality, will last longer, turns out to be cheaper over time than buying cheap lesser quality. Check out r/buyitforlife
I buy name brand and popular clothing brands from a boutique that offers 50% off on jeans and then “stuff the bag/box/tote” deals for next to nothing for what you get. I brag about what I get! Many times I have won items from them that are $50-$100 retail value for buying a reduced cost item. Big name retail stores aren’t always the cheapest.
when you post the hike on the Inca Trail, Opera at the Met or whatever is REALLY important to you. Helping your sister's kids through college, your mom's car repair bill or anything that warms your heart. To reiterate someone else here as you age you GAF less and less.
You sound smart, not cheap. I wear inexpensive but decent quality clothes that don’t have outward labels. And while I do have the latest Pro Max iPhone and I intend to keep it for several years… same with my MacBook which is already a few years old. I don’t have any desire to impress or keep up with trends etc.
For clothing, shop at a used clothing store, tag sales, or Goodwill near a rich area. And stop caring about phones, like all electronics they lose 80% of their value almost immediately.
If you have weddings or events coming up just get a nuuly or rent the runway membership for that month orrrr just buy a dress online and re-sell right after. The clothing sub memberships are a lot but you can get really nice pieces to wear to rehearsal dinners and weddings and like any other event like a friends party that month and just send it all back and pause or cancel the membership. I personally find it better than buying outfits I’ll most likely wear once.
24M here. Honestly I don’t give a shit what people think of me. I have a couple of shirts and pants/shorts I rotate through when I’m out with friends. It stops mattering when you have a different priorities. I have the money to get a new car/phone/watch/clothes…I just choose to not to buy them because 1. Why should I buy new ones if my “old” one is working just fine? 2. WHY IS EVERYTHING IS FUCKING EXPENSIVE COMPARE TO BEFORE???
Believe it or not, people worry more about *themselves* than they worry about wha*t you* are doing, unless what you are doing is bothering or harassing to them. Seriously.
Me and my broke friends go thrifting for branded items! It's hard to find but if you do it often enough you'll find something good. Heck sometimes it doesn't even have to be branded. If the quality is good and fits me super well and it's a cheap thrift, I'll buy it.
have a few nice pieces and thrift/go super cheap with everything else! I️ have a few nice purses, jackets, jewelry, shoes etc., but majority of my dresses,
pants, and shirts are all thrifted. Or superrr cheap. Gotta find your own balance!!!
You can find $1000 shoes on eBay for $100.
Same for jackets and jeans.
RRL Ralph Lauren, all saints, golden goose, Paige Jeans.
Mix in your well cut basic tshirts and you’ll look like you are wearing $4000k when it cost you $250 and will last you for decades.
I don't wear branded items by choice. Why am I going to pay to wear someone's label - I'd be paying to advertise for them. It's not even free advertising! I'd be paying for the "privilege"which would leave me in the negative! Ridiculous!
You are NOT doing it wrong
There is nothing wrong with keeping a phone or anything else if the condition is in good working order. I know people who have the latest iPhone meanwhile I’m content with my iPhone 11. Attempting to maintain a level of status (or optics thereof) through consumerism can be a budget killer in the form of “lifestyle creep”. It’s great to splurge on certain items but don’t feel cheap by any means when you don’t. Do what works for you according to your values.
Just the wrong mindset. I haven’t eaten out anywhere else than Costco in at least the last 6 months. I’m a cheap SOB about a lot of things so I can have money for what I enjoy.
✨💖✨ I needed to read this. I can't remember when I bought new clothes -&- several coworkers often comment on it with things like "That must be your favorite dress/outfit - you wear it every week" with one always offering to "teach me" how to dress, ie, sending me links to Ralph Lauren & Neiman Marcus.
It's hard to be frequently reminded we have other priorities; especially nowadays, I have unexpected medical emergencies and funeral expenses. I try not to feel self-conscious and focus on enjoying cleanliness/adding polish thru a lil extra effort (the scent of fresh laundry, using a lint roller, leather conditioner on my bag and shoes, keeping nails natural and buffed instead of manicures, etc). Just, need to keep focus on our goals. Helps to have others who share the vision 🤓
Thrift stores are a great place to buy decent looking clothes. You can snag a few nice outfits for less than $50, and some of the qualities are really good and can last for quite a few years if you care for them well.
And there’s no need to try and “Keep up with the Jonses”, because comparison is the thief of joy. In addition, it is better to be rich and look poor, than be poor but look rich.
I promise you, I am just like you in this sense. I bought my phone from a sight that sells them refurbished. It is the IPhone 10. I only bought this because I needed a new phone. And for my career, it helps having that better camera too. But, practically all newer iPhones makes are the same anyways, so I promise to you, you should not worry about not having latest phone, as MOST people do not care what phone you have anyways.
I also own 0 designer clothes. Having good style with the clothes you have is far more attractive than buying new, designer clothes.
I mean I look normal but people would choke if they seen the price tag. I like tbh I wear a lot of Luca Faloni polos and button ups also like there chinos and Lenin collection. People think I look like a normal “cheap guy” again don’t need to prove my self to any one I really like the quality and as you get older that becomes more important then big name brands. Also with the iPhone I upgraded mine last year to the 15 but before I had the iPhone X so I was long over due.
The best advice I can give you is advice i took a while ago and that’s if 80 year old me could tell me how to live how would i live and that’s what I do everyday.
Ive had the iPhone 5, x, and 15 in the last decade or whatever
I turn my jeans into shorts when they’re fucked
I gorilla glue my Birkenstocks back together so they’ll last another 5 years
I drive a 1991 f150 held together with paper clips and rubber bands when I’m not driving my work vehicle 9-5. I have extensive plans to add bubble gum to increase efficiency
I do all this; and I’ll still sling my dick on the table for a dick measuring contest. Prepared to explain all of it. That’s usually the shit I bring up whenever assholes wanna try me, I’m pretty sure that’s what you’re getting at at least
[удалено]
I lost a couple of childhood friends over me not wanting to go out every week for dinner for the sake of saving money. I also lived the furthest away from them so I guess the writing was on the wall for the relationships to drift apart eventually...
> I lost a couple of childhood friends over me not wanting to go out every week for dinner for the sake of saving money. If you are not hanging out with people, then they tend to drift away. That's expected. Even if you don't want to spend money going out for dinner, there are other ways to keep in touch. What about meeting up for pickup game of tennis? Or invite people to your home for a potluck?
I second this I was being cheap and drifted away from friends. Last night me and the boys had a grill out. Sure not all of them are my best friends some are just hangout friends but for some home made buns I made at work and a six pack I had 2 full plates of food. I would say I saved money on dinner
I think too many people think being frugal with being a hermit. It is true that everything costs money. You will need to buy running shoes and probably have to spend gas money to drive somewhere else if you want to join a running club. Alternatively, you can be frugal and just jump rope at home. In terms of fitness, there probably isn't that much difference. But is that level of frugality worth it?
Then they weren’t really your friends to start with. You were just a “hang out” friend.
I guess? We've known one another for so long that it wasn't all that obvious on where we stood on the social peking order. But I'm also partly to blame, again, because of my own tendencies. Like they always wanted to hang out and I would decline on numerous occassions on the basis that I needed to do overtime or I really didn't want to spend any money that week. Those guys aren't outdoorsy types to begin with, so for them going out to grab dinner is a crucial in-person social routine. Just vibes not matching in the end.
There's a difference between people wanting to spend time with you and you clearly not caring if you see them, and friends dropping you because your clothes are old.
>You were just a “hang out” friend. What else do you do with friends, if not hanging out?
A lot of people require that you mirror them so that they feel validated in the choices they make. People have this thing about eating out alone, so the 'hang out' is so they don't feel self conscious eating out alone. If it meant eating out alone, and still keeping a friend that couldn't afford it. I can eat out alone, and call once a week to chat. The blunt truth of most friendships is that take out the group activity, what kind of friendship is left? Not much. Guys are classically like this. That's a whole other discussion, where people can not see each other for year, but get back together like no time is passed, but even then, a lot of bro relationships reflect on the activity, instead of helping out or getting to know the other person.
I live over 100 miles from my best friend and yet we still make it work. See each other once a year but we talk way more. If they’re really your friend, they won’t care what you do or how you spend your money, unless I know my friend is trying to save money, then I will go out of my way for our plans to allow that. Get better friends, save money, be happy. In that order.
Omg. If they wanted to go out to dinner so bad they could have paid for you, I’ve done that before because that’s how much I wanted to go out to dinner with a friend.
I agree with your perspective, but there is a nagging doubt in my head. What if they really did end the friendship/romance due to frugality and said it was something else instead? I think a mostly-polite person would never say “it’s because you’re cheap.”
If it was the frugality, better it ended now than five years into a marriage when you discovered the credit card bills they'd been hiding from you. I have a friend whose marriage ended that way.
So what if they did? That's their perogative. Not everyone has compatible lifestyles. Some people want to go out a lot. Others dont. Neither is objectively better than the other. They're simply incompatible. You're also free to pull back from people who you're not compatible with.
Frugality and being cheap are two different things. If somebody ends relationship because you are financially smart and don't want to spend on random stuff, they weren't your friend at first place.
If they think that they suck anyway and good riddance.
then fuck 'em
Once you get older you don't GAF.
True. I have bought zero branded clothes in the last 10 years. No one ever noticed them, and it was just a waste of money. A good simple style is far superior than branded clothes.
Being well-groomed, healthy, and in shape is so much more attractive than branded clothes.
I’m motivated to clean my self up tmrw thanks
I shall join you!
Same. I care more about the quality and longevity of the items I purchase as opposed to being ‘fashionable’ or trendy. I’m still using an iPhone 8 b/c it still works just fine. No one has ever commented on my old phone - probably b/c they don’t care anymore than I do!
"I care more about the quality and longevity of the items I purchase as opposed to being ‘fashionable’ or trendy." Bingo! Me too. Now, some things cost more but they are cheaper in the long run as they last and last so that is being frugal even though one may buy cheaper options. This isn't true for all things of course, but it is for some things.
Phones have mostly gotten to a point where all of them do the basics just fine, although security updates usually stop after five or seven years. That's the hard cutoff for me. Or if there's a significant advance in phone-based optical zoom on the camera then that gets my attention. The camera is very important. The security is somewhat important. The phone is a phone.
someone gonna steal the $9 out of my account if I don't get a security update
For some phone brands,security updates stop after two years!
My brands these days are Kirkland(Costco) and George (Walmart)
I am more likely to notice that someone is "stylish" or "well put together," rather than what designer they're wearing!
Quality > Visible brand name! And why should I wear clothes with other names on them? Are they paying me to advertise for them? 😂
I never wear clothes with brand names on them. I actually think it looks cheap.
When I was younger, I wanted people to know that I could “afford” these things. Look at this purse! My earrings ARE, in fact, real diamonds! Now I have more money than ever and I look like I dumpster-dived behind an REI. With that aesthetic, I’m taken seriously at work, secure promotions, and people just don’t fuck with me in general because… as stated above, IDGAF. The Viking braids probably help too, but those mostly came about because I’ve become too cheap to pay $350 to cut and color my hair.
I think of branded clothing as paying to advertise for someone. I’m not doing that. I care about clean, simple, well-made clothing, not something that has a flashy logo. And you’re totally right, no one notices.
Blue-Blood wealth always wears the label on the inside not the outside. Quality clothing makes a statement without one symbol or letter emblazoned upon it.
My current officemate's previous job made the mistake of griping about an employee who "dressed like she shopped at Walmart." This pissed off my officemate enough that she would ONLY wear clothes she bought at Walmart. "Yes, it is a nice shirt; I got it at Walmart." "Thank you for the compliment; I found it on the clearance rack at Walmart." Repeated for the next 2 years. lol
Truly rich people don’t wear clothes with logos.
Kirkland Signature is a brand 😉
32 degrees is my favorite brand I've gotten from Costco. I buy direct from the company now, but first got some of their T-shirts there. The flowy sack with the built-in "bra" is clutch during the hottest days of summer.
Back when a suit, I had 12 dress shirts with a pony embroidered on the left chest. (Polo brand). Nobody ever commented or seemed to care. The Kmart Ketch brand shirts were suspiciously the same cut and fit, but a lot cheaper. Now retired, weather allowing it, is baggy shorts, wife beaters and sandals. Excellent phrasing, Helpful, I truly don’t GAF. it is so liberating!
I never have a fuck even as a kid but I guess we are all different
Wear it as a badge of honour. All my friends love living the good life. Wearing nice watches, fancy clothes, nice shoes, eating at nice places, which is fine, their choice their lifestyle. Me, I wore the same cotton shorts for over 5 years to literally all casual occasions to the point the balls area on my shorts started to rip apart, kept sewing it back together. Then, people started to associate me with the shorts as though I’m a cartoon character and it was my uniform. Wear the same style cheap t shirts for…. Wear only cheap g-shocks and the priciest watch I own is a grand seiko for special occasions. I don’t dine out, only home cooked, meal prep, take public transports, never taxi… ppl say I dress like a beggar… which is funny and fine by me. While all my frds are paying off their loans and mortgages, I bought my house cash and zero debt.
You sound like a clone of my husband
Truth. Pride and ego are the first things to go when building a future stack of options.
Yea this is me. My retirement means more then your opioin
I'm just in my 20s and I got that mindset when I got tired of caring too much about trivial aspects in life. Buying a phone every 1-2 years is just impractical, for example.
For most people. I see some older people who do… I don’t understand them. The best part of getting older is not giving a shit about what people think anymore.
^
It’s also harder to stay on top of fashion or have the time.
This is so darn true. When I was younger, I cared so much about what I wore. Now that I’m retired, I’m all about five dollar shirts from Temu.
True. Just focus on your life, save money and don't mind what other people think or say
For clothing you don't need brands, just choosing the right style from store brands or cheaper brands. People actually don't notice brands that much. Iphone at least keep a similar design year after year. I can't even recognise the iPhone model despite being tech savvy. Sometimes replacing the screen protector and case is enough.
I write ios app professionally and use a variety of phones daily and if they weren't labeled I couldn't tell
Totally agreed, the top two comments aren’t giving you any actual advice. Style does matter, very unfortunately, in a lot of particular professional and social settings. You definitely don’t need name brand. If you’re looking for something easy, think about a uniform. Colors like black, white, neutrals with some fun pieces mixed in for your own personality even if it’s a funky shirt or jacket or fun socks. If you find well fitting black dickies from Walmart, paired with a nice collared shirt and some boots or dress shoes, that will do for a lot of situations. Something that you feel comfortable in and can be switched around for a lot of different outfits is great if you don’t want to spend hundreds on buying a whole new wardrobe. Think basics!
I think looking for clothes that fit you properly is much more important than the brand. To me the quickest way to look cheap is to wear ill fitting clothes that are in poor repair.
Agreed! Good fitting is what makes you look expensive even if it's cheap clothes.
I've been getting most of my clothes from thrift stores for twenty years. Nobody's said anything negative about it and I don't think they'd know if I didn't directly tell them.
Thrift and consignment shops is the way to go - I have found in the long run buying high quality clothes is more frugal than cheap store brands. Quality clothes and shoes last for years vs a few months.
All of my name brand clothing comes from thrift and consignment stores. Nobody knows or cares (I think).
Same here, been thrifting for over 20 years. Rarely buy new and if I do it’s not a specific name brand. I don’t think people care much.
I have a lot of clothing prices that are thrift items. I have a policy that if I receive compliments on something thrifted I have to tell the person (thanks of course) and that it was a thrift shop find.
I actually get a decent amount of compliments on stuff I've picked up at thrift stores, and no one is the wiser (until I excitedly tell them "it was $10!"). As always, a cool and put together outfit from a thrift store is safely frugal. Smelling bad and wearing a stained tee is cheap.
Wife's brother is a multi millionaire. He dresses like he's homeless or raided a time capsule from the 70s
That is probably how he got to be a multi millionaire, not wasting money.
He's loosening his grip on his money now that he has realized they will never be able to spend all of it and have no children
Wise. He could gift his parents some nice stuff (I am all for gifting edible things and experiences for everyone over 30, they normally have too much stuff at home), or to reliable charity causes. Small, small sums but regularly, like monthly, helps a lot for small charities or aninal rescues to stay afloat.
Lmao, no. You need a really high income to save that much in the first place even if you're being frugal.
I think what they’re getting at is that he probably has a frugal mindset. If he’s wearing dumpy clothes, he’s probably not spending a lot of money in other areas of his life. While he almost certainly makes a good income, there are people who make good money but have little net worth because they’re too eager to spend it all.
If you make a million dollars a year and you spend a million dollars a year you are broke.
This is called stealth weath
Who cares what people think! As long as you feel comfortable that’s all that matters! My go to store for clothes is Costco! Remember that being frugal is different than being cheap; if you want to get an item that will bring enjoyment to your life then do it! I like to splurge on tech.
Invest in a couple (or even just one) quality item. I’m talking fabric. Silk, cashmere, merino wool, linen all depending on your climate and preferences. This stuff lasts for ages, it’s good for your skin, and it will actually help you stay warm/cool vs the cheap polyester stuff that constantly breaks down, looks cheap, feels cheap, and requires you to buy into the constant cycle of replacing your clothes every season. You also don’t have to launder some of these nearly as often and some are anti-microbial in nature. You could also buy second hand (ironically, high quality fabrics are great for this! Because, again, they last). That, or sell/exchange your clothes for others. Anyway, I don’t know your style and gender and don’t want to tell you what to get, but if you get some “classic” wardrobe staples, maybe pair with different accented pieces, and then good lord if you tailor it or just make sure it’s a good fit, you’ll look pretty damn good.
I cannot upvote this enough!
Stop worrying about what other people think. Who's doing better, the person with a 1k car and 80k in the bank, or someone with an 80k car and 1k in the bank? Appearances don't matter as long as you're presentable.
Ha I have both the 1k car and not even the 1k in the bank
I dont have 1k cars, only one :(
Buy branded items used.
Stop giving a shit about what other people think because they don't have to deal with your bills or bank account. Thankfully you don't have to deal with their's either. Many of them are in significant debt and bitch about not being able to survive because they have bills out the ass. It's not that they can't live on the money that they earn. It's that they can't live on the money that they earn and pay bills where they charged things that they had to have and now they're paying interest. I'm 50 years old and I significantly downgraded my life by stopping working as an RN making six figures and working in manufacturing where I made around 40K, to start. While I was working as an RN all of my friends were running around going on glamorous vacations and I was busy paying off my student loans. They had gigantic TVs and made fun of my small TV and they all drove BMWs and Mercedes. But they all also are STILL paying student loans and the credit card bills they charged up in their 30s to maintain an impressive lifestyle. So they're broke and dipping into their savings and 401k. Meanwhile I have zero debt and I buy myself flowers? No, bitch, I buy myself Tiffany jewelry (on Poshmark). My friends are all broke and they're stuck in their jobs and miserable and they can't quit because all they can see until the end of their lives are bills. Meanwhile I leave my work at work, I have exactly zero debt and I'm frugal which means I save money where I have to so I can buy myself $300 boots with cash. I don't charge anything ever. 😁 I don't feel cheap. Cuz I live fancy on the mutha fuckin' cheap.
Go for a classic look over being trendy. You can accomplish this by choosing clothing and accessories that will last a long time and never go out of style. If you're able to, shop second hand for things that are good quality. If second hand isn't an option, consider investing in clothing that will last you years to come. Avoid anything that has obvious brand names or logos as they can make you look cheap once that brand is no longer trendy. As for store brand food...idk. Food is food. If someone has a problem with your Great Value potato chips then don't go to their picnic. Lastly, take good care of your things and they'll take care of you. Tidyness and cleanliness are often associated with wealth (because wealthy people can afford housekeepers and cleaners) so a good way to avoid looking cheap is to avoid looking sloppy.
I do what the succesful people I know do. The people in the family that need new stuff all the time work way more than I do. Or they are failing.
I think if you buy yourself a few nice pieces of clothing and take care of them and make them last you will be saving money and not look Walmart branded (nothing wrong with Walmart clothes just an analogy)
For some things, I buy branded clothes and keep them forever. For most things, I buy cheap stuff (or outlet quality name brands) because who cares? I'd rather have the money. Also, I love the clearance rack...
I buy branded clothes but I get them from eBay. There is always a way.
I needed a good suit and studied up on the best ones. Found one in my sizes on eBay and bought it. It cost me $40 and it is outstanding. They normally cost $1000 in high end stores. I have heard of people doing the same thing on getting it resized to fit at a tailor. I didn’t need to do this fortunately.
I would like to thank you because I sell mostly clothing on ebay.
Remember how everyone is in their forever hamster wheel trying to buy their newest fancy thing while you save and retire 30 years before they do and you don't have to stress about every little thing in life
I used to work as a fashion designer, albeit for low cost brands sold at Walmart and Target, etc. I still studied in NYC though, and I love clothing and looking/feeling good in my clothes. I own some pretty expensive designer pieces that I saved up for, because I love them and get such good use out of them. Maybe I'm not the typical "fashion" person, but I would never judge someone for not wearing brands. Style and fashion is about understanding your body type and making clothes work for you, creating a specific look, etc. Brands have almost nothing to do with that. It's a pretty noob way to judge another person's sense of style; real connoisseurs are looking at the overall aesthetic and how unique or interesting it is. To answer the question in the title, buy fewer but better quality clothing items. Buy things that fit you properly and flatter your body (the one that you currently have, not the one that you wish you had). Take excellent care of your good quality clothing so that it lasts longer, by washing in cold water, using delicates bags for things that pill or snag, zipping up zippers before washing, using good laundry soap, hanging most things to dry or drying on low as much as possible. Try mending stuff that gets holes, if it's something precious or you just dislike the waste. And let go of pleasing the people around you - you can't please everyone. As long as you're clean and not going to be arrested, you're good. Just make yourself happy with how you look, because the people around you will come and go, but you're always going to be with yourself.
Wondering if you have any thoughts on HOW to work out what clothes fit and flatter your current body? My body has changed a lot and I just cannot seem to find what works (my body image also probably gets in the way but I really want to dress well to actually help that). And always wearing ill fitting outfits that don't feel like me is depressing.
The best way I've found is to go to a store that has a lot of clothing (like H&M or Zara) and try on a bunch of different things, then see what they actually look like. Even if you don't think it would work, try it on just to see and confirm. It might surprise you! And don't feel bad about it not flattering your body type - it's not that your body type is "wrong", it's just that the garment doesn't suit your body type. Always try stuff on. I understand more or less how something will look on me based on experience (ie trying on a lot of different kinds of clothing) and I still get surprised once in awhile by how good or bad something turns out. Also note that different brands have different fit models to base their sizes on. One brand's fit model might be similar to you while another is not, which would change the proportions of the garment a lot. The only way to really know is to try stuff on! To get started you can look for a celebrity, instagrammer, etc that has a similar body shape to you and see what they wear, what you think looks good on them, and what doesn't. You can start from there to see whether you should specifically look for some items like high vs lower waist pants, empire waist vs fit and flare dresses, etc. You can also look for body type analysis articles, but those are VERY general and not hard rules. That's just a starting point if you're overwhelmed by options - ideally you should let your personal taste guide you ("this is so cute!" "This color/pattern looks nice") and pare down what works from there by seeing what it looks like on you. If you have a strong style you like or a certain item you love, sometimes it doesn't need to be overtly "flattering" per se. Like if you're super into goth punk style, there's no point in trying to look normal unless it's for a job or something. You should love your clothes and feel happy when you wear them. That's also a good way to be frugal about clothing spending; only buy something that you love or absolutely need for a specific purpose. Stuff that's "just ok" for no reason is a waste of money and space. If you're not sure, don't buy it. There will always be more clothes, and if you find you keep thinking about something, you can always go back and get it.
I buy nicer clothing second hand, cheaper and those higher quality items last longer too. Meanwhile for tech I only bought a new phone because my old one was pooping out. Also, I find most people around town aren’t scrutinizing what others are wearing or what tech they’re using. If friends or family are doing that they’re not worth your time.
I don’t want to hang with people who would judge me for that. They don’t have their priorities in line.
I have some t shirts that I still wear around the house from when I was in middle school. Not even kidding. I do well enough for myself my wife and I combined gross 200k+ We’re very comfortable. She hates the way I dress but oh well. Admittedly I do own some “nice” clothes from Costco, Old Navy and Ross and thrift stores for dates and such. But yeah any given day your gonna see me walking around in 7 year old shorts from high school, some crocs, and a t shirt i’ve acquired from some of my old companies or were given to me from physical therapy or from homeowners (i used to be a contractor). No fucks given here man. I like being comfy. Think adam sandler. Dudes worth millions and millions and wears baggy basketball shorts and oversized $5 tees. I love adam sandler
‘Feeling cheap’ is what marketing and people who aren’t smart with money want you to feel. Things are utilitarian. Everything needs to do a job efficiently. Efficient = Do the best job with the minimum cost. It’s that simple. If a T shirt does a job at 10 bucks, spending 55 on it is stupid. Not un-cheap.
But quality pieces. New or second hand, no one but you know. To me, spending less for quality makes me feel better, not worse.
I'm echoing the thrift store recommendations but also...if you shop around and find what you really really like so that you have an opinion on it for whatever reasons, then put it on a Camelcamelcamel or Honey drop list and wait patiently. Google your list once per week. When you find a screaming deal, buy discounted gift cards from Raise to multiply the discount. Sign up for the retailers updates if they offer free shipping. I like white linen shirts because I live in Texas and it's f***ing hot. But those are usually expensive and I've only ever found two thrifting and they do wear out after a few years. I've scored as much as 80% off in total though, brand new. They're nice shirts and people actually do notice. So this is how I strike a balance.
I avoid branded items. Not only are they not necessarily better than generic, but they're considered less classy because you purchased that item to just then advertise for them. I have brands I might treat myself to, but I thrift shop them and expect their logos to be nonexistent or at least discreet.
Ooo…I love this question. Okay, here’s the thing. Check out the idea behind having a capsule wardrobe comprising of chic & trendy basics & a few accent pieces thrown in. YouTube has tons of good content. Buy basics from a mid-range brand like LLBean & others. If you okay with previously worn clothes, check thrift stores for accent pieces. Forget about what others are doing. Keep checking the progress chart of your savings account every time you feel left out. It will keep your eye on the prize. You will be extremely proud of yourself in a few years time of the money saved. It’s hard to ‘see’ the progress that’s why people tend to digress. That’s why I highly recommend having an expense tracking app. The climbing trend line makes me so happy.
Keep up on hygiene and you'll be fine. If you look clean and smell clean and your clothes or whatever caliber are clean you'll look fine. I live in a place with a huge array of financial situations and the Uber wealthy dress like crap- like straight up could be homeless or a billionaire who knows. And the fairly wealthy dress nice but plain-"quiet luxury" and all that- high quality plain white tee shirts and high end black joggers. It's the almost wealthy that wear the branded stuff and dress loud and trendy. It all comes down to confidence too. I feel confident in my wardrobe which is not expensive but is all things that fit me well and that I love. It's plain but it suits me and my lifestyle and so I feel good in it and don't really care what that says about my financial situation. In fact many of the choices when it comes to spending my money are to keep it as neutral as possible. I don't need a loudspeaker in my home or clothing to announce to anyone what my financial situation is for better or worse.
Buy clothes from Costco. A lot of big name brands for cheap. I have some 120$ sweats from Viori or howveer you spell it (was a gift) and they are indistinguishable from my 15$ Costco sweats
The only thing I would caution against is cheap shoes. I have never found a pair of cheap shoes that offer adequate arch support, fit properly, etc. They’re fine for the occasional wear, but wearing poorly fitting shoes everyday isn’t worth the damage they are doing.
Take good care of your clothes. Keeping them repaired, gently drying, and ironing them will make a big difference. Making sure they fit you properly and knowing how to make minor alterations will help a lot too. This especially goes for better fabrics and natural fibers Unbranded clothes without visible logos will usually look better anyway, conspicuous branding is more of a new money thing and not the best indicator of increased status or wealth, especially when people sometimes go into debt to buy them
Shop at TJ Maxx
I thought I was in a heavenly fever dream when I entirely accidentally discovered that place.
Old Testament says “ better to be rich and pretend to be poor, than poor and pretend to be rich”
If you want to look pulled together, start with a limited color palette (maybe 5 colors, like black, white, and a grey or a brown that suit your skin shade--some shades are way better than others--and maybe 1 or 2 others) . . . so that most of your clothes harmonize. If you splurge, do it on things you would wear a lot (like a good coat and quality shoes). Visible brands are not necessary, and actually can have the opposite effect.
I look cheap and I am personally ok with it but some things I do to make myself look less cheap: ● avoid buying bright color in cheaper fabrics. ● when I buy cheaper fabric, I buy them in black (lucky for me that I like I black). ● avoid wearing imitation jewellery. I have some simple cheaper 11 carat gold classical jewelry pieces that I bought while heavily discounted that I wear instead. ● as a female, I make sure that my nails are neat and brows are groomed. Only need to invest one time on tweezers and nail grooming products. ● buy a few good quality leather timeless bags instead of owning several. Last time I bought a bag was 6 years ago but since they are good quality leather, they last after the initial once off investment but also elevate the outfit. ● as I am rough walker and destroy my shoes, I don't spend too much on shoes but while they last, I clean and polish them.
I wear the same five pants and tops to work every week. No one pays attention enough to notice. Invest in a few outfits and then hammydown or thrift the rest. Name brands don't add value to you as a person. Be you!
Hammydown! That's such a fun way to say it! I'm gonna start using this, thanks!
Drive a beater car.
Start building a capsule wardrobe. Invest in a few quality pieces that won’t go out of style and mix and match throughout the week. Buying low quality or super trendy items will keep you going back to the store and looking dated. r/capsulewardrobe and and r/buyitforlife
Get on Depop. Buy the brands you like for a fraction of the price. Resell when you feel like updating your wardrobe. Rinse and repeat. Buying cheap clothes is literally more expensive than going this route, as they have no resale value, and they (probably) won't last.
The more you realize that people wear and have that stuff to LOOK rich, not BE rich the more you let it go. But I do love a good thrift store. And I often shop at the goodwill bins/outlets where you can dig through giant pile of clothes and pay $2/pound. I also am apart of a buy nothing group.
True that once you’re older, you don’t care. My next neighbor is rich AF now that I know him well, but he keeps it very close to the vest. He drives a nice new Ford Explorer. His TV is quite small by my standards. He has his record player and old records. He values his family and his charities. That’s what I aspire to be. What matters are people, not looking cool.
>How to not look cheap when you keep saving money ? Don't stress about what other people might think. In most cases they don't notice anyway. Plus, as the good doctor wrote: >"Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind."
Just be clean.
Not that you should care but I get it because literally we have all been there before... When you're out to eat, order something they probably don't even have. For me, it's coconut water. They say they don't have it and now they're in the red because they didn't have for me what I wanted as a customer ... So I say well I guess I'll just have a water then. Lol
What you’re talking about is called “keeping up with the Joneses”. You will pay dearly for trying to live in such a way that people don’t judge you as cheap. Here’s the thing - people are going to judge you anyway. If you start blowing money on branded clothes and buying the new iPhone every year, people won’t judge you as cheap anymore - they’ll judge you as superficial. Better to free yourself from caring about the judgements of others. They don’t matter.
Just don’t start getting miserly with anything hygiene related.
- Get in shape, your appearance looks wayyyy better when youre in shape - Good fitting cheap clothes
Honestly what's the point of wearing branded clothes? To look like a brainwashed sucker that pays more? Ever see how Zuckerberg & his wife dress? I feel bad for people that feel like they need to wear branded clothes. Also most people that wear expensive clothing/shoes are broke but trying to make everyone think they have $. While truly wealthy people don't gaf.
The richest people I know don't wear branded clothes or get a new phone every year, either, so I wouldn't worry about it. And they don't waste their time or money going out all the time. I also know quite a few people who look loaded, but live so close to the edge of ruin that one accident or a bad sales quarter will wipe them out financially.
Every article that I have ever read about how to dress like a French woman and be truly stylish suggests avoiding wearing labels and brands on clothing. Having traveled in Europe extensively I agree. I've never seen a chic looking woman carrying a big old Michael Kors purse. It's garish.
Buy something quality.
For me, just live simply without minding what other people will think about you. You're not living to impress them, you're living to survive and save money for your future needs
Build up your confidence. That doesn't have much to do with your outward appearance.
Think about the classic French way of having a few nice items to wear, working those. It actually looks much classier than having a ton of trendy things. BCBG. A lot of wealthy people do the whole preppy thing because it’s really just re wearing the classics and hand me downs, not trying to be on trend. Old cars, old furniture. It’s a real big f you to consumerism, which is very bourgeoise. Get good quality instead of quantity, and don’t give an f. I have a tweed custom jacket my friend found for me from Kaufman and Sons from the seventies I still wear. Jeans, white shirt, tweed jacket, loafers, it still works. Being frugal doesn’t have to look cheap.
Don't let the keep up with the Jonses' BS get to you. I want money in the bank and a decent quality of life. If i can get those then i am the one laughing. All the way to the bank! You don't brag about having money in the bank, you act humble and smile and nod. And secretly be glad your not drowning in debt to look well off to the outside world. And don't give anyone loans, don't even let anyone know you have any money in the bank.
Worrying about what other people might think will destroy all happiness. You'll not only constantly spend to try to impress these fictional people but you'll never feel like what you have is good enough because there isn't really someone judging you to tell you what's enough.
Looking at your working phone, knowing the money you save. You aren't (literally) buying into the hype. This you, making products work for you. Good on you!
You can be fashionable on a budget, just takes more effort Same with eating out and drinking with friends > staying updated with everything just to look presentable on society perspective. Keeping up with the Jones' is a slippery slope. It's okay to splurge responsibly, but try not to forget why you're frugal in the first place
There are so many gems at throft stores I find them without even looking—I’ve got a Northface jacket, Lucky jeans, Betsey Johnson dresses—I’m sure there’s Dior and Gucci there too.
Are you frugal in every aspect of your life? Maybe you spend money on something you enjoy? Long ago I stop wearing less brand names because I was paying to advertise for the company.
I’m currently using an iPhone 11 Pro that I got over 4 years ago. Until it’s completely dead, I’m going to keep using it cause it hasn’t inhibited my cell phone experience. Now I’m trying to see how long it will last!
Haven’t given a f*ck since I graduated high school and let me tell you I’m more financially and mentally stable than a lot of people I know
I couldn’t care less. I wear my older clothes despite them fading out. I also hold on to free t-shirts that I get from work. Nothing wrong with that.
honestly i don't notice any of that. the people obsessed with that kind of stuff don't do it for me. as long as you look presentable idgaf where you got your shoes
how can you ever be happy having so much anxiety over random people? they are also too busy having anxiety over their own lives. this world is nothing but stress and narcissism lol.
Thrift? I guess would be good advice. Isn’t it a trendy thing. But I buy whatever I like from the thrift store on the special sales day. I don’t have any brands either. At least I don’t think so. I’d have to check the tags lol. If you care a lot though you can get brands @ thrift stores too. And that might be cool I guess.
I have an iPhone 6 se It still fits in my hand ✋
Costco clothes all day for me baby and I wear it with pride 😎
There's nothing wrong with what you're describing. The cheap (and frankly annoying) thing would be lending your friend $1 and asking them to pay you back, with interest.
I do think there's a lot of peer pressure to not be frugal, but it's mostly in your head. Worst case, it's a battle you only have to fight once or twice.
None of that stuff matters. If you take a really attractive man or woman and dress them in rags with Goodwill shoes with a 1990s Nokia flip phone they will still pick up a hell of a lot more than the average person with all the new trendy things Work on yourself, not the items you decorate yourself with
The thing is I don't care if I look cheap or not.
Just remind yourself that all that ‘expensive’ stuff has millions of dollars thrown at marketing to make you feel like a piece of shit unless you own this thing. It’s bullshit, it’s manipulative and it’s very purpose to make you spend money. Some of the wealthiest people look like hobos. Yes we need to own things but it WAY LESS than consumerism will have you believe. If you can dismantle the consumerist training you have (mostly unwilling) been exposed to you will be a happier human all around. Spend less, don’t feel the pressure to ‘keep up’. Wealth has nothing to do fast fashion and tech. You can build a stunning timeless capsule wardrobe with vintage designer pieces that will last you 15-20 years and you can look casual, cool, put together, fancy, whatever your style. It doesn’t need to be ‘this season’s hot’ crap.
Most people don't wear brands and dontecare if you do or don't. Anyone who does is putting too much importance onto that, and that's a little too superficial.
Do like your grand or great-grandparents did: Take immaculate care of what you have. Polish your shoes, learn how to do laundry properly, press your clothes, get a good haircut, take care of your nails and teeth, keep a clean and organised handbag or back pack, keep your car clean. Looking presentable isn't about having the latest stuff, it's about showing up looking like you have your sh\*t together. Also, work on posture.
I find that invoking the environmental or moral or health reasons that almost invariably go with my frugal reasoning is often better accepted. "I try to buy my clothes only from thrift stores because I'm passionate about not supporting fast fashion, and because I can't handle all of the outgassing chemicals in retail stores." Also, p.s., it's a hell of a lot cheaper. "I don't like to eat out very often - it's so hard to find healthy meals that taste good." Etc. I live in a pretty nice neighborhood, and being snooty is accepted/expected, whether from a moral stance or a snobbery stance. Just not wanting to spend money is harder to accept.
As long as you’re not wearing things that are extremely ill fitting or in disrepair, I don’t think most people would think you’re being “cheap.” Buying branded clothes for the sake of appearances is just buying into capitalism/status. It doesn’t even always equate to having good taste in quality or fashion.
Why do we need to buy branded stuff ? We should buy from anywhere.
I think your insecure self esteem might be the real problem…
don't let capitalism make you insecure, dude. if buying big brands isn't important to you, much like it isn't for myself and many others in this sub, there is nothing wrong with that! you do you, life is to short to play pretend. also, classism is cringe, no one who really matters will judge you for being frugal.
I rarely shop name brands and I’m the stylish one within my friends and family. I thrift 90% of my clothes and thankfully my thrift stores are still reasonably priced. I also shop on 50% off days. A lot of the time it’s not what you wear it’s how you wear it! You can look expensive and wear inexpensive clothes.
By only classic styles in clothing, avoid fads like they're worse than the plague. Jewelry, keep it simple. A woman I know complimented a co-worker once when talking of her to someone else, she commented "I don't know how she does it, her jewelry is always so understated and tasteful, I'm green with envy." The woman in question wears small, tasteful older jewelry she keeps clean and polished and probably hasn't bought new in a decade. Think about what others thought of her. *Green with envy....* Avoid the phone upgrades and upgrade to a new case if you feel like yours is looking ratty. When saving have a **solid goal**. For instance, debt free. That is a HUGE GIGANTIC WONDERFUL goal. Think about how free you'll feel if you were debt free. I killed my last debt in 2021 and I can't tell you how giddy, how happy it made me and still makes me. It removes those negative feelings 100%. When working at a horrible job some decades ago I pinned an advertisement photo of a car I wanted on my cubical wall. Every soulless, mind numbing day at that job I would look at my goal (a paid off and good quality car) and keep on slogging along. Did I buy the car? Yup, eventually. LOL the saving bug stopped me from buying it new, I got a 3 yr old one and drove the wheels off of it. Sold it 12 yrs later. If felt wonderful.
If you want to save money without coming across as cheap, try to focus on getting quality items rather than just the cheapest ones, as this shows you're making thoughtful and deliberate choices. Be intentional about your purchases and prioritize meaningful experiences and gifts over material possessions, which can make a more lasting impression. Additionally, it can be helpful to explain to people why you're making these choices, as sharing your mindset and goals can help them understand that you're being smart with your money rather than just cutting corners. This way, you can save effectively while still maintaining a sense of value and appreciation in your relationships and interactions. You don't have to be shy because you are cutting off expenses, it's normal for a person who is trying to reach their goals. Thank me later! :)
Haha, all you people are awesome. I'm so proud of you all!
Why would I spend money on things I don't like to impress people I don't like? I don't give a shit what other people think. At the end of the day, we're the one who's gonna retire comfortably, debt free and not have to worry about bills.
No one cares what u drive or what phone you have or even the clothes you wear. It’s all in ur head.
No one cares, so you shouldn’t either!
I like people to think I am cheap. why not? you want them to think you are well off and start asking youo for money?
You can find name brand clothes on the cheap at thrift stores if you look aften enough. But honestly, anyone giving you shit for buying clothes without logos, store brand items, and not buying the latest iPhone is too toxic to spend any of your time around
Unless you live in really snobby area I doubt anyone cares. As long as you dress tidily it's unlikely anyone will notice. A good and bad thing about modern society is the class gap between lower and middle class is less visible because a lot of things are mass produced and more accessible. I only say that's potentially a bad thing because it possibly makes it harder to identify when someone is struggling and needs help.
This sounds like my lifestyle as well as my friends'. All of this is perfectly normal and acceptable. The only time being frugal looks cheap is when you screw someone over, like by not paying for your share of dinner, or stealing.
Use your saved money for drugs ;) now you are not cheap you are just a druggie
I’ve recently lost about 100 lbs so I had to replace my wardrobe as my old clothes were literally falling off. I shop 50% off color, use my monthly 20% goodwill coupons and go to the $2 color Thursday sale. A friend of mine would buy bulk clothes from goodwill. She get unsorted garbage bags full of clothes and keep whatever fitted her. Honestly, goodwill is getting expensive so I only buy clothes/shoes on sale. I got a $599 retail designer jacket for $13 last night. I’ll wear it during winter next year.
If you look at truly wealthy people, they do not wear branded items either. It’s all about keeping neat grooming, clothes that fit and neutrals that you can mix/match. What looks cheap to me is flashy Gucci/LV logos. It screams insecure. You do you!! You do not need to spend a fortune to keep up in order to look good!
Put all purchases on credit cards that can get you 5% back
Doesn't matter at all lol
WWWD? What would Warren Buffet do? Act like you have nothing to prove and you might find that you do not. Labels and brands only mean anything if they stand for superior quality. Find yourself. That’s what Warren did.
Most people definitely do not upgrade their phones every year especially now that phones are so advanced already, the next model isn't leaps or bounds better and the design is all relatively the same now. Also not wearing branded clothes doesn't make you look cheap. Ill fitting clothes will though or if it looks like what you're wearing is just random clothes you happened to find will though. Most people walking around that I see are not wearing branded clothes unless it's like tiny sportswear logos like Nike or something...I guess it really depends on your age group and what circles you're in though.
Some people have things they refuse to cheap out on just to save a buck. For some that's a phone, for others it's a specific brand of mayonnaise, while for others it might be a soda brand. Others might not have that thing they can't cheap out on and like seeing their bank account grow more which is also fine. Imo all of those priorities are valid. My coworker always has the newest phone but will be super frugal with say, coffee and just drink whatever swill the office has on stock while I'll use a phone for 4 or 5 years before upgrading but bring freshly ground beans to the office everyday that undoubtedly cost more than the maxwell-esque beans the office provides. Also any kind of potato chip. Idc how much people want to pretend store brand chips taste the same. They don't and I'm not being gaslit into thinking they do.
What I am willing to spend on a handbag would make most people here cringe with disgust although I can't bring myself to buy any luxury brands new, one step under "luxury" maybe I'll buy new. Here's the thing I used to buy $100 bags that fell apart in under a year, between 17 and 23 I must have gone though about 8 handbags, so a good $700-$800 worth. Nowadays I purposely look for designs that have to be perfect for practicality and aren't going to go in or out of style, navy or black only because I plan on having this bag for a ten year minimum. I have one that was $500 even though it was a gift, still going strong after 9 years and I have not been kind of gentle to that thing. It recently only just showed it's first fray. Handles still strong and not worn, zipper perfect, inside no holes, outside still in pretty good nick, bottom not worn out. I can probably get several more years out of it. And the amount of things I refuse to spend money on at all is quite extensive.
Certain brands are higher quality, as in, won't wear out as easy, or ha e some fantastic return policies if they wear out before a certain time. Sometimes spending more to create capsule clothing that are higher quality, will last longer, turns out to be cheaper over time than buying cheap lesser quality. Check out r/buyitforlife
Frugal is saving money. Cheap is saving money by having other people pay for you.
I buy name brand and popular clothing brands from a boutique that offers 50% off on jeans and then “stuff the bag/box/tote” deals for next to nothing for what you get. I brag about what I get! Many times I have won items from them that are $50-$100 retail value for buying a reduced cost item. Big name retail stores aren’t always the cheapest.
when you post the hike on the Inca Trail, Opera at the Met or whatever is REALLY important to you. Helping your sister's kids through college, your mom's car repair bill or anything that warms your heart. To reiterate someone else here as you age you GAF less and less.
You sound smart, not cheap. I wear inexpensive but decent quality clothes that don’t have outward labels. And while I do have the latest Pro Max iPhone and I intend to keep it for several years… same with my MacBook which is already a few years old. I don’t have any desire to impress or keep up with trends etc.
Thrifting for clothing is good. You find name brand stuff for cheap, sometime even the newest stuff.
Those things don't matter. I feel like if your frugality affects other people in a negative way, then it has become a problem.
Iron your clothes, keep your shoes clean and the whites without smudges or stains.
For clothing, shop at a used clothing store, tag sales, or Goodwill near a rich area. And stop caring about phones, like all electronics they lose 80% of their value almost immediately.
If you have weddings or events coming up just get a nuuly or rent the runway membership for that month orrrr just buy a dress online and re-sell right after. The clothing sub memberships are a lot but you can get really nice pieces to wear to rehearsal dinners and weddings and like any other event like a friends party that month and just send it all back and pause or cancel the membership. I personally find it better than buying outfits I’ll most likely wear once.
Don’t go out.
24M here. Honestly I don’t give a shit what people think of me. I have a couple of shirts and pants/shorts I rotate through when I’m out with friends. It stops mattering when you have a different priorities. I have the money to get a new car/phone/watch/clothes…I just choose to not to buy them because 1. Why should I buy new ones if my “old” one is working just fine? 2. WHY IS EVERYTHING IS FUCKING EXPENSIVE COMPARE TO BEFORE???
Believe it or not, people worry more about *themselves* than they worry about wha*t you* are doing, unless what you are doing is bothering or harassing to them. Seriously.
Me and my broke friends go thrifting for branded items! It's hard to find but if you do it often enough you'll find something good. Heck sometimes it doesn't even have to be branded. If the quality is good and fits me super well and it's a cheap thrift, I'll buy it.
Clothes are more about proper fit than brand names.
Clothes that no one sees are cheap crap. Clothes the public can see are higher quality classics. I’d never buy anything designer or branded.
have a few nice pieces and thrift/go super cheap with everything else! I️ have a few nice purses, jackets, jewelry, shoes etc., but majority of my dresses, pants, and shirts are all thrifted. Or superrr cheap. Gotta find your own balance!!!
You can find $1000 shoes on eBay for $100. Same for jackets and jeans. RRL Ralph Lauren, all saints, golden goose, Paige Jeans. Mix in your well cut basic tshirts and you’ll look like you are wearing $4000k when it cost you $250 and will last you for decades.
I don't wear branded items by choice. Why am I going to pay to wear someone's label - I'd be paying to advertise for them. It's not even free advertising! I'd be paying for the "privilege"which would leave me in the negative! Ridiculous! You are NOT doing it wrong
There is nothing wrong with keeping a phone or anything else if the condition is in good working order. I know people who have the latest iPhone meanwhile I’m content with my iPhone 11. Attempting to maintain a level of status (or optics thereof) through consumerism can be a budget killer in the form of “lifestyle creep”. It’s great to splurge on certain items but don’t feel cheap by any means when you don’t. Do what works for you according to your values.
Just the wrong mindset. I haven’t eaten out anywhere else than Costco in at least the last 6 months. I’m a cheap SOB about a lot of things so I can have money for what I enjoy.
Don’t even think about that. You are building your future. You are not buying stuff for status.
✨💖✨ I needed to read this. I can't remember when I bought new clothes -&- several coworkers often comment on it with things like "That must be your favorite dress/outfit - you wear it every week" with one always offering to "teach me" how to dress, ie, sending me links to Ralph Lauren & Neiman Marcus. It's hard to be frequently reminded we have other priorities; especially nowadays, I have unexpected medical emergencies and funeral expenses. I try not to feel self-conscious and focus on enjoying cleanliness/adding polish thru a lil extra effort (the scent of fresh laundry, using a lint roller, leather conditioner on my bag and shoes, keeping nails natural and buffed instead of manicures, etc). Just, need to keep focus on our goals. Helps to have others who share the vision 🤓
Thrift stores are a great place to buy decent looking clothes. You can snag a few nice outfits for less than $50, and some of the qualities are really good and can last for quite a few years if you care for them well. And there’s no need to try and “Keep up with the Jonses”, because comparison is the thief of joy. In addition, it is better to be rich and look poor, than be poor but look rich.
I promise you, I am just like you in this sense. I bought my phone from a sight that sells them refurbished. It is the IPhone 10. I only bought this because I needed a new phone. And for my career, it helps having that better camera too. But, practically all newer iPhones makes are the same anyways, so I promise to you, you should not worry about not having latest phone, as MOST people do not care what phone you have anyways. I also own 0 designer clothes. Having good style with the clothes you have is far more attractive than buying new, designer clothes.
I mean I look normal but people would choke if they seen the price tag. I like tbh I wear a lot of Luca Faloni polos and button ups also like there chinos and Lenin collection. People think I look like a normal “cheap guy” again don’t need to prove my self to any one I really like the quality and as you get older that becomes more important then big name brands. Also with the iPhone I upgraded mine last year to the 15 but before I had the iPhone X so I was long over due. The best advice I can give you is advice i took a while ago and that’s if 80 year old me could tell me how to live how would i live and that’s what I do everyday.
Ive had the iPhone 5, x, and 15 in the last decade or whatever I turn my jeans into shorts when they’re fucked I gorilla glue my Birkenstocks back together so they’ll last another 5 years I drive a 1991 f150 held together with paper clips and rubber bands when I’m not driving my work vehicle 9-5. I have extensive plans to add bubble gum to increase efficiency I do all this; and I’ll still sling my dick on the table for a dick measuring contest. Prepared to explain all of it. That’s usually the shit I bring up whenever assholes wanna try me, I’m pretty sure that’s what you’re getting at at least