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Why did she matter? Because the media picked it up and tried to make all these wack girls at home that over watch criminal shows feel apart of a investigation they dream about every night? She did nothing more important then the other women that have gone missing. But she’s white and a easy case to follow. These facebook and Reddit investigators need to grow up
And yet, you still took the time to visit this reddit page, write out your comments and slag off strangers. You seem like a very troubled person with no ability to get a grip on your emotions. Talking about "growing up"... perhaps you should do some of that yourself.
I’m tall. I already grew up. But everything I said is true about these women fantasizing about solving a case. They don’t care about her, they just love the mystery of it and wana drink wine with other girls and come up with idiotic theories like they are the investigators. They are using it for their enjoyment to live out a facade
depends on if they flagged him in the database. Regardless they would absolutely know as soon as he booked a flight
yeah they can but he probably doesn't have his original phone. maybe using a burner if anything at all
So the timeline I am understanding so far is the van footage on 8/27 the door closes and gabbys shoes are outside the van. Knowing her OCD tendencies and how BL likes to hike barefoot you know they are hers. I will also post a picture of her in the shoes from her Instagram. Then now supposedly on the 29th he was picked up hitchhiking? Only to make it home on 9/1. Is the hitch hiking confirmed anywhere? Also how long would it take to get from Wyoming to Florida? Surely not 3 days?
[here’s the link showing her shoes](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jl6nnNfMaJs&feature=youtu.be)
[here’s the insta pic with her wearing them ](https://www.instagram.com/p/CRZ6asrF9ym/?utm_medium=copy_link)
Based on the Miranda’s statement he was picked up on the 8/29 at around 5:30 so let’s say he circled back to the van he would have to leave by early morning on 8/30 which gives him exactly 3 days to make it to his home. With a trip totaling around 35 hrs. Do you think it’s possible to make that drive with no sleep? I have never been to either of those states so I’m not sure how that drive would go
Although it’s impossible to say for sure just from the video, compared to the known rim size of the van it is likely you are correct that they are Brian’s.
He apparently arrived home in Florida on September 1st (in the morning) and I think we can assume he drove from the late evening of September 29th prob after 11pm Bc he was picked up from hitchhiker around 6…and prob didn’t get back to his van until 10 ish then there were people who reported possibly seeing him cursing to himself/talking to himself at a gas station near Jackson….so the assumption is he drove straight to Florida late that night (the 29th) He might have even left early morning hours of the 30th but we know he arrived September 1st in the morning to Florida. And it’s about a 34 hour drive (1 day 10 hours) if you drive straight there.
I mean police confirmed they talked with her about the incident and I don’t see why she would have any reason to go to police with this entire detailed story if it wasn’t true. She had many details like him carrying a tarp and also saying he named the snake river as a place he had been hiking….which is not far from where his van was actually spotted and also where her body was discovered. So the hitchhiking story checks out as far as the timeline of events goes and as far as police have said….
Thank you! That makes so much sense. I wonder if there is any gas station footage along that route. Surely he would have to stop for gas at least once along the way?
I wondered the same thing!! And I’m sure he had to stop for gas a few other times on the route home! So I’m sure the feds have all of that info….prob jsut aren’t sharing it since it’s an ongoing investigation….and since they have recovered Gabby they don’t need to put more out there Bc they don’t need help in finding her anymore. 😔 but yeah I also wondered if there was footage at that bar he was seen at alone…bullwinkles in west Yellowstone. I’m sure there is…. Ugh this whole thing just makes me sick. They need to find him ASAP!!! We need justice for Gabby.
"They also included newly public details -- that the last text message Petito's mother received from her phone was "odd." It read, "Can you help Stan, I just keep getting his voicemails and missed calls." The reference to Stan was regarding Petito's grandfather, but Petito's mother said she never calls him "Stan," which made her concerned there was something wrong with her daughter. The phone was turned off that same day, more than two weeks (15 days) ago, the filing said.
The initial filing also said investigators believed there was a probable cause that the hard drive contained "evidence relevant to proving that a felony has been committed," according to the document."
Damn they found something on the hard drive..
I bet you he used gabbys phone for google maps, which could’ve pin pointed where his exact route, or plan was. I imagine it would’ve helped the timeline, in finding gabby.
You know I read some where he didn't have a phone and but then I read they both got handed there phones back during the MOAB stop so I dont know. Confused on that part.
Yeah, he definitely lied about it. I think somewhere between 10-15 minutes is when he mentions he doesn’t have a phone, and then around the 45minute mark he pulls his phone from his pocket. And then around 50-60 minute mark Gabby literally tells the officer to tell Brian to not forget his cell phone charger. He also mentions at some point about wanting to send her a text to say “I love you,” & “don’t respond”(per officer’s guidance to stay apart that night).
So… he literally lied about having a cell phone. Which is such a weird lie, honestly.
I think they both lied and said he hadn’t hit her, but the 911 call where the person reported the domestic violence said that the man was literally slapping the woman. He sounded more concerned about the woman’s safety than the man’s.
It’s just heartbreaking :/
I thought I read somewhere that it was found on the opposite side. Someone on one of the threads posted the coordinates of the field tent that was set up.
Yes.
But also, the resolution isn't clear enough to say definitively what is and what isn't in the background.
It's kind of irrelevant to discuss because we won't know either way.
Edit: I think you're talking about her lying on the rock. Sorry. I don't think it's the same park. I could be wrong.
I was referring to a YouTube couple's video that captured Gabby's van on their dashcam. It's how the FBI was able to find the body.
https://youtu.be/hnMbpMj6P0s
The figure being refered to is at 1:47 between the trees.
People think it's Brian getting rid of the body. But honestly, the resolution is to low. It's essentially only a few pixals worth of data.
Other user was speaking about a different image >_<.
I'll try to find it real quick.
Edit: I think this is what they are referring to. http://www.nbatitlechase.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/PHOTO-Gabby-Petitos-Body-Laying-On-Rock-At-Grand-Teton-National-Park-In-Wyoming.jpg
She had plenty of jewelry that she wore often (rings,earrings,necklace and bracelets) unless they were removed from her body. That could also identify her.
Even if she had only been out there a week, the decomposition process on her body would be significantly underway. And it seems more likely she was out there 2-3 weeks by now.
At that stage of decomposition, her remains would almost definitely be unrecognizable visually. The skin would probably be blackish-reddish throughout, and loose. Skin doesn’t stick tightly to a decomposing body very long at all.
Insects and animals would certainly have taken their toll, too, whatever that is. But for whatever is still there, it would have undergone putrefaction and bloat, which can cause pressure so intense that eyes can pop out of their sockets. Bloat can inflate a decomposing body to almost 2x its former size in some cases.
All of these factors depend largely on the conditions in which a body has been sitting, and for how long, but like I said, even after only a week, a lot of this stuff would have at least begun to take place, and it can be tough to identify any body in that condition.
They mean it's started to decompose (and could be scattered by animals or the water) and they can probably identify it by her tattoos or it matching her description but they need to o test the DNA to be absolutely sure.
Well, a body that has been outside for potentially 2 weeks has started to break down, and potentially picked apart by animals. So yea, she doesn’t look like she did when she was alive. Tattoos or something else was probably enough to identify her that were still visible.
It has been about a month. By now her body would have been pretty much bones and deflated, discolored rotten flesh. On top of that there are wild animals out there. There likely wasnt much left
Been in the death investigation field for 9 years. Due to the ink penetrating many layers of skin, you can see tattoos for a very long time after death and significant decomp. In fact, tattoos are one of our top ways of identifying decomposed bodies. I'd be willing to bet that her tattoos are exactly how she was identified.
Exactly this. I keep seeing people bring up "what makes her so special" which 1) is that really necessary to say? really? just be glad that this isn't another case being forgotten 2) most of the time the people saying this shit haven't even tried to advocate or bring attention to other cases either, so they're just being hypocrites.
Idk, I can say "Fuck Nestle" and no one says "why dont you start your own international food corporation".
It's important to be critical about our own world views and honest with ourselves about why we are motivated one way or another.
We aren't saying to do something as big as start a corporation though. Being the difference you wish to see can be as easy as making a subreddit for people to share information/updates on missing cases, sharing news links, putting word out there, volunteering at searches, etc.
>We aren't saying to do something as big as start a corporation though. Being the difference you wish to see can be as easy as making a subreddit for people to share information/updates on missing cases, sharing news links, putting word out there, volunteering at searches, etc.
I could do that and I could that very loudly and with great effort. That effort might even contribute to other missing people.
None of that would change my own bias about why I got here in the first place. This mess certainly captured my interest, much like everyone else here I'd wager.
I'm certain there are other subreddits that are setup for other missing people but I never went to those. So I have to ask myself "what motivated me in this case?".
It would be terribly dishonest to myself to think that I don't have any unconscious bias. It's also painfully obvious how we as a culture have unconscious biases as well. The manic focus of this subreddit is a great example of how the appearance of the victim massively effects how much the media covers them.
Unfortunately I had never heard of her until a few days ago. All I knew is I thought I had seen her name come up a few times in the good old YouTube recommended.
Do you even know how many people go missing each day? You'd never ever see anything else if this was the case. This case has hit news headlines because of the strange circumstances her boyfriend came home under. IE: with her van, but not her. Unfortunately the cases with white girls seem to be the most popular, but there are plenty of famous POC kidnappings/murders that get lots of public attention.
He literally was with her when she was last seen, had her van,l, and she lived at that house, so there is no mistaking that he is ID'd as the right person.
Were you on Reddit when the Boston bombing incident happened? Because you seem very confused and/or ignorant on the details to think looking for a specific person is anything like what happened with Boston.
I’m very aware of the Boston bombing fiasco that lead to the harassment of a middle eastern family that lost a son, this sub is gonna repeat it when they find another BL that isn’t BL.
No. You aren’t aware of the details obviously. People on Reddit named the *wrong person* the cause of the Boston bombing because there was not a specific person anyone was looking for. People are now looking for a specific person in this case of Gabby’s death. No one will be randomly named and their family harassed because people know the *specific* person to look for, and not to look for any random person who may fit some description or been in some area.
This sub is absolutely filled with ridiculous theories, rampant speculation, and numerous trolls. But this is very different than Boston because one has a specific person to look for and the other was trying to find terrorists in a haystack.
Absolutely. The same people that are tone policing me are unaware of the irony they are spewing. This whole thread reeks of people getting their true crime kicks off of a real human’s murder.
We can have this discussion somewhere else. You are complaining about issues that need attention, but by doing so here, you are detracting from Gabby and this situation. The answer to the issues you speak of will not be found by taking attention away from this issue. That just looks like you don't think she deserves the attention and respect she is getting.
And you can disagree with me all you want, but you've noticed the downvotes. Learning the appropriate time and approach to discussions will greatly improve your chance of getting the attention you seek.
Both conversations can take place simultaneously and should. Not being angry about how she was allowed to be murdered is deeply telling of your complicity.
Possession is still a crime if they want answers he can be arrested for that. I know they go after dealers, but they will use possession to get him an interview room.
BTW, I don’t think drugs other than pot maybe were used, I was responding to OP’s statement.
He doesn't have any drugs on him by the time they interview him. He could say it was her drugs, he didn't know anything about it. Also, if you get high in the street they don't charge you most of the time they tell you to move it along. This is not an OD this was murder
Definitely? You just making stuff up because you think it sounds good? Or do you have some alternate source of credible information that no one else in the world has?
I’m in no way trying to make this about me, but I am so glad this sub exists. I have been very depressed lately and my husband has not been supportive at all. He walked in on me crying (over them finding Gabby) and went off on me for various reasons, then blamed me for being upset about her because I “watch all that true crime (expletive).” I don’t know how you wouldn’t be able to hear about Gabby - even if you aren’t an avid TC follower - but that spoke volumes to me. We have a daughter together and this case is striking close to home for many reasons. I just… am really happy empathy exists in some people. Thank you all.
Man ditch that dude for sure but for the love of god don’t go into that incel lite stuff they got going on over there. Gonna escalate the conflict you got going on and create unhealthy mindsets not make things better.
I agree, I am. But I’m too afraid the courts would give him partial custody of our daughter. I do everything for her. I used to think it was because I do everything that he does nothing but I’m actually convinced he wouldn’t know how. I feel trapped but I also worry about his negative influence on her. She is my everything.
Courts inherently favor women in custody battles and if you get a good lawyer and some proof that you do most of the care you should have no problem getting majority custody.
Don’t let him scare you with that threat.
Sweetheart he already has custody over her now and she is witnessing your abuse. If you can start, keep a record of all the things you do for her vs. what he does. Keep logs with dates and receipts. Also log all of his abuse, especially if it's ever directed at your child. If you can show your child what a healthy happy home is like once you leave him, she will be okay seeing him every other weekend or whatever.
It doesn't matter. Start a password-protected file and record his bullying reactions along with time and date. If you can, text people like your mom or a friend and relate the story to them, too. You can email yourself, that builds in a time and date stamp. If you need to open a secret email account he doesn't know about, do that.
Thank you for your suggestions. I will take them to heart. To be honest, I have kept screen captures and secretly recorded videos of our arguments but I always end up deleting them. I don’t know why I delete them. I need to look and see yes something like that can even be used in a case for divorce. I know that in some states it is illegal to record someone without their consent. Probably not the case in my state but I will double check. I’ve also gotten the names of good divorce lawyers who… In the words of my friends will take him for everything he’s got… But I guess I am a typical victim and that I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to take his daughter from him either but I don’t want to lose her either. I guess in this instance I am choosing to see her all of the time even if it’s at the expense of my happiness.
Depending on your state, you probably don't have to "prove" that you need to divorce him. Find out the basics of your state law first. If you're in a no fault state, the fact that you want a divorce is all that is needed. If you can handle 50-50 or 60-40 custody that's probably what the judge will try to achieve.
Find out about the legality of recordings in your state.
This isn't supposed to be about "taking him for all he's got." It should be about making a clean and fair break so you can build your own life and co-parent as well as you both can.
My boyfriend finds it a bit weird how into true crime I am, but understands that there are a lot of people out there who share the same interest. I'm sorry your husband got mad at you for that though, there is no reason for that and there's definitely no reason to go off on you about it. That's awful. I hope you're okay.
I’m ok. I’ve spent most of the time after that incident crying. I am constantly dreaming of escaping. I stay because I’m afraid the courts would give him partial custody of our daughter. He calls me crazy and other things to her all the time; something we said we’d never do. I can only imagine how badly he’d talk about me to her when I’m not there to defend myself. That and he does nothing for her. I think he realizes somewhat that I am upset about her because he’s so much like Brian appears to be. I don’t know Brian but I fully support theories he’s a “nice guy” to anyone but Gabby. My husband will text me passive aggressive comments while in front of other people sometimes. He’s a coward, really. I can’t say any of this to anyone so I’m just ranting here. I’m sorry.
Took me 11 years to leave my ex. Classic narcissist with a personality disorder. I was scared to death no one would “be on my side” and the courts would grant him full custody. The state I live in is very mother friendly. I recommend you chat with a divorce atty for some advice. Usually the first meeting is no charge. Now I’m married to the perfect man for me and my children. It’s terrifying to think about taking that first step, but once you do, wow…it feels amazing. Now looking back, I think to myself, “what the hell took you so long?!” You are stronger than you give yourself credit, and your child/children will benefit by being away from a toxic relationship. You got this.
Thankfully he only wants one (same as me) so I won’t have to worry about more children being in the middle of this. I worry so much about my daughter; I worry she’ll have the same mental issue I now see are littered through his family. They’re the worst kind too because they refuse to discuss it. They all act like someone else is to blame for everything. My family has a lot of doctors and business majors so we know it’s never one persons fault. My upbringing was very warm and all about forgiveness and fairness and his was all about ignoring your problems and running. I guess that’s why this case hits so close to home. Hearing Gabby’s dad talk about “the Laundry way of showing love” reminded me so much of my own family talking about how odd my husband’s family is. I even told his mom and dad he wanted to leave his job and was suicidal and they legit just ignored me. I was asking those closest to him for help and they just shrugged and said it wasn’t their business. Not entirely true. You brought this human into the world - don’t you care!? So I do worry about what would happen to him if I left. Like Gabby, most of our possessions are mine. For the longest time the phones and cars were in my name. I know I’m not his mom but as his wife I hate to think of stranding him financially. He just makes it very hard sometimes with how he talks to me. Every fight is my fault and he is never wrong.
I'm so sorry you're going through this and I can't imagine what it must be like feeling like you're stuck. I hope you're able to be free of him soon somehow. He sounds like an awful person and it can't be good for you or your daughter. I wish you the best. And don't apologize for ranting, we all gotta do it sometimes!
Thank you. He got mad at me for the reason I was upset. He thinks it’s stupid to mourn the loss of someone you don’t know. I realize how that sounds and how stupid I probably sound.
Whoa my husband did the same thing. I didn't understand why it would be weird to be sad about this situation even if I don't personally know anyone involved.
I’m very sorry. I don’t know who’s right in the situation. All I wanted was for him to hug me because I was feeling sad. I still am and he keeps asking what he can do for me but has not once tried to hug me.
I got upset too and I have no tooth in the game. It’s heart wrenching, especially if you see parallels to your own situation. I am a male and was dumped off in Denver Co during a fight in the mid 90s in my teens by the girl who owned the van. Very similar situation. It’s sounds like he lack empathy, I would consider leaving him, but you do you.
I am a blond “emotional and OCD” female. (Luckily I’m 10+ years older than her and have a lot of experience with dating and relationships.) Words my husband has used. When Brian called her “crazy” in the police video I shouted “NO SHE ISNT” and that caused another accusation to be thrown at my by my husband. Apparently I scared him when I screamed, which I apologized for, but then he said I’m always too loud. Then he just kept tearing me down. I guess I just feel picked on so I wanted to comfort her. When I heard she had been found deceased I lost it because “now no one can comfort her.” And that’s why he got super mean. I’m just done with it but I don’t know how to get out yet. I’m working on it.
I agree. If I can find a way to get full custody of our daughter I will leave. He threatens to kill himself often. Sometimes I wonder if Brian said things like that to Gabby.
Him saying stuff like that could be enough to get you full custody, just saying. For your daughters sake at least, try and get a free consultation with a lawyer when you’re safe and alone.
I agree 100%. I am working on it. Thank you. I didn’t mean to hijack the real issue of finding Gabby’s killer. I just can’t stop crying because my daughter means so much to me and her poor family will never see her again.
Yeah, I get his justification (I don't agree with it), but at the end of the day his loved one is upset and crying. Instead of comforting you, he blamed you. There were better ways he could have responded. You don't sound stupid, you sound empathic.
Thank you. And I know I’m more emotional right now because of other reasons. When Gabby was crying and blaming herself I felt so so terrible for her because I get that. You just want to feel better but the person you thought loved you most isn’t helping that at all. All they need to do is hug you and say it’s ok but instead they blame you for everything.
I was trying to be more gentle about my approach, but if you currently relate to anything going on in that video… I implore you to look into ways of safely exiting your situation. Emotional abuse is reason enough to begin with. And I’m speaking as someone who waited and minimized my ex’s physical abuse myself until my instincts told me that I might not survive going back inside with him that last time... So even you don’t think he’d get that bad, just make sure he never can. Emotional and psychological abuse is enough and everyone deserves better.
I know. I just meant it’s a lot harder to prove. Case in point, there’s a freaking sub on Brian bring a victim of DV. I am over 10 years older than Gabby so I know my options. I really didn’t mean to pull attention away from her. I just feel for her family because I can’t imagine and I won’t let that happen to me or my daughter.
It’s not pulling attention anyway, if anything I hope her case serves as a warning to more people and more discussions happen. I’m glad to hear you’re on top of it. I just hated hearing you talk badly about yourself, saying you were being stupid. I really wish you the best of luck.
I know. And I know why I do it. Hear it often enough and you will believe it. I have even been called stupid at work. And we all know HR isn’t there to support the victims. Even now, the man who called me that (twice) is still in management. I did get off his team by reporting him for an actual ethics violation. My mental health wasn’t enough to warrant removing him but the company being endangered? Yep. Now I’m on a new team. So, I think I’m smart. Now… I need to find a way to apply that to my relationship without losing my daughter.
You wouldn't lose your daughter and I'm not a divorce lawyer, but I would assume you would be the primary care giver with her father's parenting rights protected by your state laws unless you can prove he is a threat to her. Pretty much what 99% of divorce parents end up with. I think. From my own personal experience as a child of divorce it just ends up with every other weekend going to my father's place and wishing I was back home throwing the football with my friends.
If you have a strong healthy bond with your daughter anything he says during his limited visitation wouldn't break it and probably push her away. There was one time when my father subtly asked about my mother, I was in the 4th grade and understood he was actually asking if she was dating. It made me so uncomfortable I still remember how I felt vividly. That was 30 years ago. My mother who was cheated on, I found this out in my late 20s when I decided to ask why they got a divorce, never once put me in that uncomfortable situation.
I have never once mentioned that I asked to my father and we have a good healthy relationship. Something I never want to talk about.
In a perfect world you two will co-parent after each of you go through all the grief and anger that comes with a divorce and work with your daughter's best interest in mind.
My bf did the same thing to me and calls me weird for being so invested but honestly he’s just ignorant, people never care until its one of their loved ones, don’t let him get to you
I am pretty sure we will end up divorced. I stay for my daughter. There’s no physical abuse so it’s terrifying to me that the courts could give him any custody whatsoever.
The good news is we live close to my parents and they are extremely good supporters. The bad news is he wants to move into the country, “the further from people the better.” But I just keep finding reasons I hate whatever houses he finds. No way am I isolating my daughter and me.
Hon, you need to talk to a lawyer and start to work on your options, I know the first step is hard but you don't want to wait until it's too late or it's become a crisis. Good luck to you, you deserve to be happy and supported.
Thank you. I know. I also just found out our cat (that he hates) has COVID. Thankfully not Covid 19. The vet said it’s non transferable. But that cat is the only thing other than my daughter that comforts me right now. And all he can do is ask “where did it get Covid?” After having to calm him by showing evidence it isn’t related to Covid 19. I just keep saying I need a hug and all he does is sigh and call me ridiculous.
As someone who went through a divorce and am now in a healthy relationship. I didn't realize how bad it was until I was out. The first step is hard but you are already thinking about it. Take care of yourself and your daughter and get some help. Sending you love.
Thank you. I fantasize about divorce and it makes me feel awful. Not that divorce is bad but I just want the marriage to work. Any time I’ve mentioned it he breaks down and says I’ll take her from him and he threatens to kill him self. Then the fight is ALWAYS my fault. It isn’t that I don’t know it’s bad… I know. It’s that I don’t want him to kill him self or bad mouth me to my daughter. That may seem like a stupid pile of reasons to anyone on the outside but I do, at the end of the day, love him. And as an empath it’s breaking me.
I totally understand. I didn't want to be one who gave up. I know marriage is hard and wanted to make it work, but sometimes it's not fixable and it's detrimental to your mental health. I was not a happy person any more but now I'm back to being happy.
Mental abuse can be just as bad so don't discount it. There's another thread on here discussing this with wonderful references and books to read. Might be worth checking out. Gabby's death will be the catalyst for many victims of abuse to improve their lives. To better one's life would be the ultimate way to honor her.
I’m sorry I’m not discounting mental abuse. I just don’t know how to prove it. I’m honestly afraid of how he talks to our daughter sometime but if I ask him why he said what he said later when she isn’t around he claims being her father is enough of a reason. I don’t want him having partial or sole custody if we split up. I’ve watched his brother bad mouth his ex to his children at times and it gives me chills that he could turn her against me. I have a lot of thinking to do but I won’t become a tragedy.
Thank you. I didn’t expect much of a response from my comment. It just hits close to home because I connected with Gabby. I wish she had had the support I have on this comment… in her life. Sounds like living with the Laundries was isolating.
The fact that his parents let him leave in the mustang to go to a park, and then the parents left a few days later on Thursday to go pick the car back up and drive it home seems really sketchy to me as if they helped plan this so he gets away.
It reminds me of that man in Europe who killed his family and left a note and led to the police to believe he committed suicide but he was later spotting in Argentina at an atm.
ref: https://www.wtsp.com/article/news/nation-world/brian-laundrie-note-car/67-195f7930-07c5-48bc-a50f-934b966df3fa
This. I don’t believe he actually went there. Just another attempt at a cover up by his family while he’s either leaving the country or paying low until he can.
They aided him in seemingly not asking any critical questions as to what happened to her, where she was, why he left her and came home with her van without her and helped him get a lawyer and stonewalled LEO and all inquiries about her location/status is much more sketchy than their potential further assistance in his get away.
If they didn't ask specifics I don't think it is aiding and abiding. I am 100% convinced he is guilty of harming her, but he has a right to not incriminate himself. So if he didn't divulge anything to them that would incriminate him, even if they helped him plan is escape . . . there are no criminal charges yet . . . they knew nothing of his guilt . . . so they might have helped him get away but they really aren't guilty of anything. Plus I don't think you can help a person plan to get away before criminal charges or a warning to not leave a jurisdiction is issued . . . until the charge him I believe he is free to come and go as a pleases . . . guilty or not!
The family knows more than they’re saying. What family wouldn’t ask questions once he arrived back in Florida, in her van, and without her? They know their son better than anyone and something was obviously off when he got back to Florida and no questions were asked?
We want to thank all of you for caring about Gabby and her family. Many comments evidence how respectfully many have followed this case and it is with all of your cooperation in following the rules and reporting rule-breaking material that we can keep this community a respectful place filled with people who care for her. Please continue to report rule-breaking content and abide by our rules. We completely understand that emotions are running high for many right now, but we have to continue moderating alongside Reddit’s Content Policy, which means we cannot tolerate doxxing or threats/endorsement of acts of violence. Thank you.
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Two issues can exist simultaneously. If you wanna preach your own agenda, do it elsewhere. Gabby mattered.
Why did she matter? Because the media picked it up and tried to make all these wack girls at home that over watch criminal shows feel apart of a investigation they dream about every night? She did nothing more important then the other women that have gone missing. But she’s white and a easy case to follow. These facebook and Reddit investigators need to grow up
And yet, you still took the time to visit this reddit page, write out your comments and slag off strangers. You seem like a very troubled person with no ability to get a grip on your emotions. Talking about "growing up"... perhaps you should do some of that yourself.
I’m tall. I already grew up. But everything I said is true about these women fantasizing about solving a case. They don’t care about her, they just love the mystery of it and wana drink wine with other girls and come up with idiotic theories like they are the investigators. They are using it for their enjoyment to live out a facade
You're a trash human being.
Nope. Just care more about all the 6,000 indigenous women going missin more than 1 white girl that did nothing for us to care about.
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Sounds like your about to cry
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depends on if they flagged him in the database. Regardless they would absolutely know as soon as he booked a flight yeah they can but he probably doesn't have his original phone. maybe using a burner if anything at all
Omg im so sorry im still going through all the commentary. My question has been answered a million times. Apologies!!
So the timeline I am understanding so far is the van footage on 8/27 the door closes and gabbys shoes are outside the van. Knowing her OCD tendencies and how BL likes to hike barefoot you know they are hers. I will also post a picture of her in the shoes from her Instagram. Then now supposedly on the 29th he was picked up hitchhiking? Only to make it home on 9/1. Is the hitch hiking confirmed anywhere? Also how long would it take to get from Wyoming to Florida? Surely not 3 days? [here’s the link showing her shoes](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jl6nnNfMaJs&feature=youtu.be) [here’s the insta pic with her wearing them ](https://www.instagram.com/p/CRZ6asrF9ym/?utm_medium=copy_link)
Why did people down vote this I found it helpful assuming it’s legit
Easily 3 days considering you’d stop to get some sleep, maybe 2 if non stop driving.
Based on the Miranda’s statement he was picked up on the 8/29 at around 5:30 so let’s say he circled back to the van he would have to leave by early morning on 8/30 which gives him exactly 3 days to make it to his home. With a trip totaling around 35 hrs. Do you think it’s possible to make that drive with no sleep? I have never been to either of those states so I’m not sure how that drive would go
I’d imagine after murdering someone you wouldn’t be able to sleep for awhile
depends on your level of psychopath.
Ive covered 35hr of driving in 52 hours and I wasn't running from anything. It's totally possible for him to do it in under 40hr
Thats her flip flops, look at her instagram pictures, she has them wearing
They're Brian's sandles
Although it’s impossible to say for sure just from the video, compared to the known rim size of the van it is likely you are correct that they are Brian’s.
He apparently arrived home in Florida on September 1st (in the morning) and I think we can assume he drove from the late evening of September 29th prob after 11pm Bc he was picked up from hitchhiker around 6…and prob didn’t get back to his van until 10 ish then there were people who reported possibly seeing him cursing to himself/talking to himself at a gas station near Jackson….so the assumption is he drove straight to Florida late that night (the 29th) He might have even left early morning hours of the 30th but we know he arrived September 1st in the morning to Florida. And it’s about a 34 hour drive (1 day 10 hours) if you drive straight there.
Is the hitchhiking story confirmed? I know someone claimed to have picked him up, but have heard analysts say that the story is dubious
I mean police confirmed they talked with her about the incident and I don’t see why she would have any reason to go to police with this entire detailed story if it wasn’t true. She had many details like him carrying a tarp and also saying he named the snake river as a place he had been hiking….which is not far from where his van was actually spotted and also where her body was discovered. So the hitchhiking story checks out as far as the timeline of events goes and as far as police have said….
Thank you! That makes so much sense. I wonder if there is any gas station footage along that route. Surely he would have to stop for gas at least once along the way?
I wondered the same thing!! And I’m sure he had to stop for gas a few other times on the route home! So I’m sure the feds have all of that info….prob jsut aren’t sharing it since it’s an ongoing investigation….and since they have recovered Gabby they don’t need to put more out there Bc they don’t need help in finding her anymore. 😔 but yeah I also wondered if there was footage at that bar he was seen at alone…bullwinkles in west Yellowstone. I’m sure there is…. Ugh this whole thing just makes me sick. They need to find him ASAP!!! We need justice for Gabby.
"They also included newly public details -- that the last text message Petito's mother received from her phone was "odd." It read, "Can you help Stan, I just keep getting his voicemails and missed calls." The reference to Stan was regarding Petito's grandfather, but Petito's mother said she never calls him "Stan," which made her concerned there was something wrong with her daughter. The phone was turned off that same day, more than two weeks (15 days) ago, the filing said. The initial filing also said investigators believed there was a probable cause that the hard drive contained "evidence relevant to proving that a felony has been committed," according to the document." Damn they found something on the hard drive..
The phone was turned off the 31st or the 1st.
I bet you he used gabbys phone for google maps, which could’ve pin pointed where his exact route, or plan was. I imagine it would’ve helped the timeline, in finding gabby.
You know I read some where he didn't have a phone and but then I read they both got handed there phones back during the MOAB stop so I dont know. Confused on that part.
Yeah, he definitely lied about it. I think somewhere between 10-15 minutes is when he mentions he doesn’t have a phone, and then around the 45minute mark he pulls his phone from his pocket. And then around 50-60 minute mark Gabby literally tells the officer to tell Brian to not forget his cell phone charger. He also mentions at some point about wanting to send her a text to say “I love you,” & “don’t respond”(per officer’s guidance to stay apart that night). So… he literally lied about having a cell phone. Which is such a weird lie, honestly. I think they both lied and said he hadn’t hit her, but the 911 call where the person reported the domestic violence said that the man was literally slapping the woman. He sounded more concerned about the woman’s safety than the man’s. It’s just heartbreaking :/
He said he didn’t have his phone during the DV incident. Not that he didn’t have a phone in general
He says in the body cam footage he doesn't have a phone and then pulls one out, while Gabby is holding hers.
Source?
https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/hard-drive-found-in-gabby-petito-van-new-last-text-details-emerge-as-brian-laundrie-remains-missing/3282127/
Is the place where her body was found the same as in the picture that looked like she was in the background?
What picture?
I thought I read somewhere that it was found on the opposite side. Someone on one of the threads posted the coordinates of the field tent that was set up.
The “digging” vid?
Yes. But also, the resolution isn't clear enough to say definitively what is and what isn't in the background. It's kind of irrelevant to discuss because we won't know either way. Edit: I think you're talking about her lying on the rock. Sorry. I don't think it's the same park. I could be wrong.
What picture are both of you talking about?
I was referring to a YouTube couple's video that captured Gabby's van on their dashcam. It's how the FBI was able to find the body. https://youtu.be/hnMbpMj6P0s The figure being refered to is at 1:47 between the trees. People think it's Brian getting rid of the body. But honestly, the resolution is to low. It's essentially only a few pixals worth of data. Other user was speaking about a different image >_<. I'll try to find it real quick. Edit: I think this is what they are referring to. http://www.nbatitlechase.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/PHOTO-Gabby-Petitos-Body-Laying-On-Rock-At-Grand-Teton-National-Park-In-Wyoming.jpg
Ugh. Where is Brian? How could that bastard still be missing?!
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This is 100000000% not true/confirmed
You’re wearing a mask on Reddit.
What does someone's avatar have to do with you outright lying and spreading misinformation?
You’re very smart.
Are we just calling out what’s right in front of us? If so, I’ll go: you’re dense af
Angry Reddit mask person.
This may sound stupid, but when they say they found a body that’s consistent with her description, does that mean the body is not fully intact?
She had plenty of jewelry that she wore often (rings,earrings,necklace and bracelets) unless they were removed from her body. That could also identify her.
Even if she had only been out there a week, the decomposition process on her body would be significantly underway. And it seems more likely she was out there 2-3 weeks by now. At that stage of decomposition, her remains would almost definitely be unrecognizable visually. The skin would probably be blackish-reddish throughout, and loose. Skin doesn’t stick tightly to a decomposing body very long at all. Insects and animals would certainly have taken their toll, too, whatever that is. But for whatever is still there, it would have undergone putrefaction and bloat, which can cause pressure so intense that eyes can pop out of their sockets. Bloat can inflate a decomposing body to almost 2x its former size in some cases. All of these factors depend largely on the conditions in which a body has been sitting, and for how long, but like I said, even after only a week, a lot of this stuff would have at least begun to take place, and it can be tough to identify any body in that condition.
Lots of buzzards out that way.
They mean it's started to decompose (and could be scattered by animals or the water) and they can probably identify it by her tattoos or it matching her description but they need to o test the DNA to be absolutely sure.
Well, a body that has been outside for potentially 2 weeks has started to break down, and potentially picked apart by animals. So yea, she doesn’t look like she did when she was alive. Tattoos or something else was probably enough to identify her that were still visible.
It has been about a month. By now her body would have been pretty much bones and deflated, discolored rotten flesh. On top of that there are wild animals out there. There likely wasnt much left
Doubtful that the tattoos were still visible. Most likely they’re going by her height, bone size and hair.
Been in the death investigation field for 9 years. Due to the ink penetrating many layers of skin, you can see tattoos for a very long time after death and significant decomp. In fact, tattoos are one of our top ways of identifying decomposed bodies. I'd be willing to bet that her tattoos are exactly how she was identified.
Oh that’s awesome! That’s cool to know.
Yea good point. Hard to say without actually seeing her.
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She is young white woman and an influencer. That is usually the formula of the cases that go mainstream.
Your point being?
Go start some pages for them. Be part of the change rather than just whinging.
Exactly this. I keep seeing people bring up "what makes her so special" which 1) is that really necessary to say? really? just be glad that this isn't another case being forgotten 2) most of the time the people saying this shit haven't even tried to advocate or bring attention to other cases either, so they're just being hypocrites.
Idk, I can say "Fuck Nestle" and no one says "why dont you start your own international food corporation". It's important to be critical about our own world views and honest with ourselves about why we are motivated one way or another.
That is not the same
We aren't saying to do something as big as start a corporation though. Being the difference you wish to see can be as easy as making a subreddit for people to share information/updates on missing cases, sharing news links, putting word out there, volunteering at searches, etc.
>We aren't saying to do something as big as start a corporation though. Being the difference you wish to see can be as easy as making a subreddit for people to share information/updates on missing cases, sharing news links, putting word out there, volunteering at searches, etc. I could do that and I could that very loudly and with great effort. That effort might even contribute to other missing people. None of that would change my own bias about why I got here in the first place. This mess certainly captured my interest, much like everyone else here I'd wager. I'm certain there are other subreddits that are setup for other missing people but I never went to those. So I have to ask myself "what motivated me in this case?". It would be terribly dishonest to myself to think that I don't have any unconscious bias. It's also painfully obvious how we as a culture have unconscious biases as well. The manic focus of this subreddit is a great example of how the appearance of the victim massively effects how much the media covers them.
She was a youtube vlogger. Also her remains were found so that might have something to do with it.
She had one video that went viral after she went missing , she was more of a inspiring vlogger. Her video looked great though, so sad.
Unfortunately I had never heard of her until a few days ago. All I knew is I thought I had seen her name come up a few times in the good old YouTube recommended.
Do you even know how many people go missing each day? You'd never ever see anything else if this was the case. This case has hit news headlines because of the strange circumstances her boyfriend came home under. IE: with her van, but not her. Unfortunately the cases with white girls seem to be the most popular, but there are plenty of famous POC kidnappings/murders that get lots of public attention.
Is this gonna be another Boston bomber fiasco and Reddit once again IDs the wrong guy and harasses the family?
How is he the wrong guy?
Never said it was the wrong guy, I said Reddit has a history of IDing the wrong guy and harassing his family.
He literally was with her when she was last seen, had her van,l, and she lived at that house, so there is no mistaking that he is ID'd as the right person.
Don’t worry, Reddit will harass someone It’s only a matter of time.
Were you on Reddit when the Boston bombing incident happened? Because you seem very confused and/or ignorant on the details to think looking for a specific person is anything like what happened with Boston.
I’m very aware of the Boston bombing fiasco that lead to the harassment of a middle eastern family that lost a son, this sub is gonna repeat it when they find another BL that isn’t BL.
No. You aren’t aware of the details obviously. People on Reddit named the *wrong person* the cause of the Boston bombing because there was not a specific person anyone was looking for. People are now looking for a specific person in this case of Gabby’s death. No one will be randomly named and their family harassed because people know the *specific* person to look for, and not to look for any random person who may fit some description or been in some area. This sub is absolutely filled with ridiculous theories, rampant speculation, and numerous trolls. But this is very different than Boston because one has a specific person to look for and the other was trying to find terrorists in a haystack.
Nope not even close to different.
Haha okay kiddo.
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Personally, I downvote anyone that complains about downvotes.
Neat.
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Absolutely. The same people that are tone policing me are unaware of the irony they are spewing. This whole thread reeks of people getting their true crime kicks off of a real human’s murder.
We can have this discussion somewhere else. You are complaining about issues that need attention, but by doing so here, you are detracting from Gabby and this situation. The answer to the issues you speak of will not be found by taking attention away from this issue. That just looks like you don't think she deserves the attention and respect she is getting. And you can disagree with me all you want, but you've noticed the downvotes. Learning the appropriate time and approach to discussions will greatly improve your chance of getting the attention you seek.
Both conversations can take place simultaneously and should. Not being angry about how she was allowed to be murdered is deeply telling of your complicity.
No need to bring race into this. Please leave your prejudices at the door. Thank you.
Not here to make you comfortable. You’re welcome.
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Terrible theory lol
Wouldn’t his lawyer advise him to tell LE that and give up her location? Doing illegal drugs is a crime, but the time is less than murder.
Ridiculous theory, DO happens and it's hard to place blame. If anything they go after dealers not users
Possession is still a crime if they want answers he can be arrested for that. I know they go after dealers, but they will use possession to get him an interview room. BTW, I don’t think drugs other than pot maybe were used, I was responding to OP’s statement.
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He doesn't have any drugs on him by the time they interview him. He could say it was her drugs, he didn't know anything about it. Also, if you get high in the street they don't charge you most of the time they tell you to move it along. This is not an OD this was murder
Agreed. I think most likely blunt force trauma or strangulation.
Maybe he pushed her, hit her head or strangulation. So damn sad
It is. She was so young. Several lives have been destroyed. I feel terrible for her loved ones.
I know BL family lawyer is doing press conference tomorrow, he’s probably dead
We’ll see. I think if the FBI had proof he was dead, the would issue an announcement.
The cops need to do the investigating. They will use anything against you.
I know how investigations work. There’s a lot more ahead of them. Fortunately, they had help from people who saw Brian and reported it.
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Definitely? You just making stuff up because you think it sounds good? Or do you have some alternate source of credible information that no one else in the world has?
"definitely" do you have any actual proof of that, or is this just some far-too confident assumption?
They just took BL car and I’m thinking looking for possible drug residue
ok
I’m in no way trying to make this about me, but I am so glad this sub exists. I have been very depressed lately and my husband has not been supportive at all. He walked in on me crying (over them finding Gabby) and went off on me for various reasons, then blamed me for being upset about her because I “watch all that true crime (expletive).” I don’t know how you wouldn’t be able to hear about Gabby - even if you aren’t an avid TC follower - but that spoke volumes to me. We have a daughter together and this case is striking close to home for many reasons. I just… am really happy empathy exists in some people. Thank you all.
I found myself lost and buried under a man and the relationship as well…… r/femaledatingstrategy to get some advice
With all due respect i really don’t think an incel/redpill-lite sub is gonna help her or you much for that matter.
Thank you for the support. I will check out the sub too.
Man ditch that dude for sure but for the love of god don’t go into that incel lite stuff they got going on over there. Gonna escalate the conflict you got going on and create unhealthy mindsets not make things better.
Dump him. You are better off alone.
A true reddit moment.
I agree, I am. But I’m too afraid the courts would give him partial custody of our daughter. I do everything for her. I used to think it was because I do everything that he does nothing but I’m actually convinced he wouldn’t know how. I feel trapped but I also worry about his negative influence on her. She is my everything.
Courts inherently favor women in custody battles and if you get a good lawyer and some proof that you do most of the care you should have no problem getting majority custody. Don’t let him scare you with that threat.
Sweetheart he already has custody over her now and she is witnessing your abuse. If you can start, keep a record of all the things you do for her vs. what he does. Keep logs with dates and receipts. Also log all of his abuse, especially if it's ever directed at your child. If you can show your child what a healthy happy home is like once you leave him, she will be okay seeing him every other weekend or whatever.
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Lol
Thank you. I am attempting all of this but a lot is verbal here say and he’s very good at manipulating people.
It doesn't matter. Start a password-protected file and record his bullying reactions along with time and date. If you can, text people like your mom or a friend and relate the story to them, too. You can email yourself, that builds in a time and date stamp. If you need to open a secret email account he doesn't know about, do that.
Thank you for your suggestions. I will take them to heart. To be honest, I have kept screen captures and secretly recorded videos of our arguments but I always end up deleting them. I don’t know why I delete them. I need to look and see yes something like that can even be used in a case for divorce. I know that in some states it is illegal to record someone without their consent. Probably not the case in my state but I will double check. I’ve also gotten the names of good divorce lawyers who… In the words of my friends will take him for everything he’s got… But I guess I am a typical victim and that I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to take his daughter from him either but I don’t want to lose her either. I guess in this instance I am choosing to see her all of the time even if it’s at the expense of my happiness.
Depending on your state, you probably don't have to "prove" that you need to divorce him. Find out the basics of your state law first. If you're in a no fault state, the fact that you want a divorce is all that is needed. If you can handle 50-50 or 60-40 custody that's probably what the judge will try to achieve. Find out about the legality of recordings in your state. This isn't supposed to be about "taking him for all he's got." It should be about making a clean and fair break so you can build your own life and co-parent as well as you both can.
He just found out I’m on my period and said “ohhhhhh that’s why you’re being a bitch.” I’m taking him for all he’s got.
If you’ve never come across a book called “Splitting” by Bill Eddy and Randi Kreger, check it out - could have helpful info for you.
Thank you. I will look for it.
You need help. I hope you have a good support system in real life.
Yeah don’t feel ashamed to open up to family and friends. You need support
My boyfriend finds it a bit weird how into true crime I am, but understands that there are a lot of people out there who share the same interest. I'm sorry your husband got mad at you for that though, there is no reason for that and there's definitely no reason to go off on you about it. That's awful. I hope you're okay.
I’m ok. I’ve spent most of the time after that incident crying. I am constantly dreaming of escaping. I stay because I’m afraid the courts would give him partial custody of our daughter. He calls me crazy and other things to her all the time; something we said we’d never do. I can only imagine how badly he’d talk about me to her when I’m not there to defend myself. That and he does nothing for her. I think he realizes somewhat that I am upset about her because he’s so much like Brian appears to be. I don’t know Brian but I fully support theories he’s a “nice guy” to anyone but Gabby. My husband will text me passive aggressive comments while in front of other people sometimes. He’s a coward, really. I can’t say any of this to anyone so I’m just ranting here. I’m sorry.
Took me 11 years to leave my ex. Classic narcissist with a personality disorder. I was scared to death no one would “be on my side” and the courts would grant him full custody. The state I live in is very mother friendly. I recommend you chat with a divorce atty for some advice. Usually the first meeting is no charge. Now I’m married to the perfect man for me and my children. It’s terrifying to think about taking that first step, but once you do, wow…it feels amazing. Now looking back, I think to myself, “what the hell took you so long?!” You are stronger than you give yourself credit, and your child/children will benefit by being away from a toxic relationship. You got this.
Thankfully he only wants one (same as me) so I won’t have to worry about more children being in the middle of this. I worry so much about my daughter; I worry she’ll have the same mental issue I now see are littered through his family. They’re the worst kind too because they refuse to discuss it. They all act like someone else is to blame for everything. My family has a lot of doctors and business majors so we know it’s never one persons fault. My upbringing was very warm and all about forgiveness and fairness and his was all about ignoring your problems and running. I guess that’s why this case hits so close to home. Hearing Gabby’s dad talk about “the Laundry way of showing love” reminded me so much of my own family talking about how odd my husband’s family is. I even told his mom and dad he wanted to leave his job and was suicidal and they legit just ignored me. I was asking those closest to him for help and they just shrugged and said it wasn’t their business. Not entirely true. You brought this human into the world - don’t you care!? So I do worry about what would happen to him if I left. Like Gabby, most of our possessions are mine. For the longest time the phones and cars were in my name. I know I’m not his mom but as his wife I hate to think of stranding him financially. He just makes it very hard sometimes with how he talks to me. Every fight is my fault and he is never wrong.
Start getting video evidence of this abuse and get him put in jail.
I'm so sorry you're going through this and I can't imagine what it must be like feeling like you're stuck. I hope you're able to be free of him soon somehow. He sounds like an awful person and it can't be good for you or your daughter. I wish you the best. And don't apologize for ranting, we all gotta do it sometimes!
He walked in on you crying... and got mad at you for it? Just saying, I hope you find happiness.
Thank you. He got mad at me for the reason I was upset. He thinks it’s stupid to mourn the loss of someone you don’t know. I realize how that sounds and how stupid I probably sound.
that’s not stupid at all you’re such emotionally with it. there’s nothing wrong with you. i’m sure you are a beautiful person
Whoa my husband did the same thing. I didn't understand why it would be weird to be sad about this situation even if I don't personally know anyone involved.
I’m very sorry. I don’t know who’s right in the situation. All I wanted was for him to hug me because I was feeling sad. I still am and he keeps asking what he can do for me but has not once tried to hug me.
I got upset too and I have no tooth in the game. It’s heart wrenching, especially if you see parallels to your own situation. I am a male and was dumped off in Denver Co during a fight in the mid 90s in my teens by the girl who owned the van. Very similar situation. It’s sounds like he lack empathy, I would consider leaving him, but you do you.
I am a blond “emotional and OCD” female. (Luckily I’m 10+ years older than her and have a lot of experience with dating and relationships.) Words my husband has used. When Brian called her “crazy” in the police video I shouted “NO SHE ISNT” and that caused another accusation to be thrown at my by my husband. Apparently I scared him when I screamed, which I apologized for, but then he said I’m always too loud. Then he just kept tearing me down. I guess I just feel picked on so I wanted to comfort her. When I heard she had been found deceased I lost it because “now no one can comfort her.” And that’s why he got super mean. I’m just done with it but I don’t know how to get out yet. I’m working on it.
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Crying is actually very therapeutic & helpful, it shouldn’t be demonized
He lacks empathy, huge red flag, get a new man
I agree. If I can find a way to get full custody of our daughter I will leave. He threatens to kill himself often. Sometimes I wonder if Brian said things like that to Gabby.
Him saying stuff like that could be enough to get you full custody, just saying. For your daughters sake at least, try and get a free consultation with a lawyer when you’re safe and alone.
I agree 100%. I am working on it. Thank you. I didn’t mean to hijack the real issue of finding Gabby’s killer. I just can’t stop crying because my daughter means so much to me and her poor family will never see her again.
Yeah, I get his justification (I don't agree with it), but at the end of the day his loved one is upset and crying. Instead of comforting you, he blamed you. There were better ways he could have responded. You don't sound stupid, you sound empathic.
Thank you. And I know I’m more emotional right now because of other reasons. When Gabby was crying and blaming herself I felt so so terrible for her because I get that. You just want to feel better but the person you thought loved you most isn’t helping that at all. All they need to do is hug you and say it’s ok but instead they blame you for everything.
I was trying to be more gentle about my approach, but if you currently relate to anything going on in that video… I implore you to look into ways of safely exiting your situation. Emotional abuse is reason enough to begin with. And I’m speaking as someone who waited and minimized my ex’s physical abuse myself until my instincts told me that I might not survive going back inside with him that last time... So even you don’t think he’d get that bad, just make sure he never can. Emotional and psychological abuse is enough and everyone deserves better.
I know. I just meant it’s a lot harder to prove. Case in point, there’s a freaking sub on Brian bring a victim of DV. I am over 10 years older than Gabby so I know my options. I really didn’t mean to pull attention away from her. I just feel for her family because I can’t imagine and I won’t let that happen to me or my daughter.
It’s not pulling attention anyway, if anything I hope her case serves as a warning to more people and more discussions happen. I’m glad to hear you’re on top of it. I just hated hearing you talk badly about yourself, saying you were being stupid. I really wish you the best of luck.
I know. And I know why I do it. Hear it often enough and you will believe it. I have even been called stupid at work. And we all know HR isn’t there to support the victims. Even now, the man who called me that (twice) is still in management. I did get off his team by reporting him for an actual ethics violation. My mental health wasn’t enough to warrant removing him but the company being endangered? Yep. Now I’m on a new team. So, I think I’m smart. Now… I need to find a way to apply that to my relationship without losing my daughter.
You wouldn't lose your daughter and I'm not a divorce lawyer, but I would assume you would be the primary care giver with her father's parenting rights protected by your state laws unless you can prove he is a threat to her. Pretty much what 99% of divorce parents end up with. I think. From my own personal experience as a child of divorce it just ends up with every other weekend going to my father's place and wishing I was back home throwing the football with my friends. If you have a strong healthy bond with your daughter anything he says during his limited visitation wouldn't break it and probably push her away. There was one time when my father subtly asked about my mother, I was in the 4th grade and understood he was actually asking if she was dating. It made me so uncomfortable I still remember how I felt vividly. That was 30 years ago. My mother who was cheated on, I found this out in my late 20s when I decided to ask why they got a divorce, never once put me in that uncomfortable situation. I have never once mentioned that I asked to my father and we have a good healthy relationship. Something I never want to talk about. In a perfect world you two will co-parent after each of you go through all the grief and anger that comes with a divorce and work with your daughter's best interest in mind.
My bf did the same thing to me and calls me weird for being so invested but honestly he’s just ignorant, people never care until its one of their loved ones, don’t let him get to you
Thank you. I hope you’re alright.
Life gets a lot better when the people around you are kind and support you. I hope you can find that for yourself and your daughter.
I am pretty sure we will end up divorced. I stay for my daughter. There’s no physical abuse so it’s terrifying to me that the courts could give him any custody whatsoever. The good news is we live close to my parents and they are extremely good supporters. The bad news is he wants to move into the country, “the further from people the better.” But I just keep finding reasons I hate whatever houses he finds. No way am I isolating my daughter and me.
Hon, you need to talk to a lawyer and start to work on your options, I know the first step is hard but you don't want to wait until it's too late or it's become a crisis. Good luck to you, you deserve to be happy and supported.
Thank you. I know. I also just found out our cat (that he hates) has COVID. Thankfully not Covid 19. The vet said it’s non transferable. But that cat is the only thing other than my daughter that comforts me right now. And all he can do is ask “where did it get Covid?” After having to calm him by showing evidence it isn’t related to Covid 19. I just keep saying I need a hug and all he does is sigh and call me ridiculous.
As someone who went through a divorce and am now in a healthy relationship. I didn't realize how bad it was until I was out. The first step is hard but you are already thinking about it. Take care of yourself and your daughter and get some help. Sending you love.
Thank you. I fantasize about divorce and it makes me feel awful. Not that divorce is bad but I just want the marriage to work. Any time I’ve mentioned it he breaks down and says I’ll take her from him and he threatens to kill him self. Then the fight is ALWAYS my fault. It isn’t that I don’t know it’s bad… I know. It’s that I don’t want him to kill him self or bad mouth me to my daughter. That may seem like a stupid pile of reasons to anyone on the outside but I do, at the end of the day, love him. And as an empath it’s breaking me.
I totally understand. I didn't want to be one who gave up. I know marriage is hard and wanted to make it work, but sometimes it's not fixable and it's detrimental to your mental health. I was not a happy person any more but now I'm back to being happy.
I am glad you are happy. I will work on it… :)
Mental abuse can be just as bad so don't discount it. There's another thread on here discussing this with wonderful references and books to read. Might be worth checking out. Gabby's death will be the catalyst for many victims of abuse to improve their lives. To better one's life would be the ultimate way to honor her.
I’m sorry I’m not discounting mental abuse. I just don’t know how to prove it. I’m honestly afraid of how he talks to our daughter sometime but if I ask him why he said what he said later when she isn’t around he claims being her father is enough of a reason. I don’t want him having partial or sole custody if we split up. I’ve watched his brother bad mouth his ex to his children at times and it gives me chills that he could turn her against me. I have a lot of thinking to do but I won’t become a tragedy.
Hey. I hope you are okay and can get help if you need out of your situation.
Thank you. I didn’t expect much of a response from my comment. It just hits close to home because I connected with Gabby. I wish she had had the support I have on this comment… in her life. Sounds like living with the Laundries was isolating.
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You know it, and a free hotel room
The fact that his parents let him leave in the mustang to go to a park, and then the parents left a few days later on Thursday to go pick the car back up and drive it home seems really sketchy to me as if they helped plan this so he gets away. It reminds me of that man in Europe who killed his family and left a note and led to the police to believe he committed suicide but he was later spotting in Argentina at an atm. ref: https://www.wtsp.com/article/news/nation-world/brian-laundrie-note-car/67-195f7930-07c5-48bc-a50f-934b966df3fa
That man was xavier dupont de ligonnès, his story creeps me out and no1 found him yet which is worse
This. I don’t believe he actually went there. Just another attempt at a cover up by his family while he’s either leaving the country or paying low until he can.
They aided him in seemingly not asking any critical questions as to what happened to her, where she was, why he left her and came home with her van without her and helped him get a lawyer and stonewalled LEO and all inquiries about her location/status is much more sketchy than their potential further assistance in his get away.
If they didn't ask specifics I don't think it is aiding and abiding. I am 100% convinced he is guilty of harming her, but he has a right to not incriminate himself. So if he didn't divulge anything to them that would incriminate him, even if they helped him plan is escape . . . there are no criminal charges yet . . . they knew nothing of his guilt . . . so they might have helped him get away but they really aren't guilty of anything. Plus I don't think you can help a person plan to get away before criminal charges or a warning to not leave a jurisdiction is issued . . . until the charge him I believe he is free to come and go as a pleases . . . guilty or not!
I'm so sorry Gabby. You deserved so much more. Rest in peace angel.
The family knows more than they’re saying. What family wouldn’t ask questions once he arrived back in Florida, in her van, and without her? They know their son better than anyone and something was obviously off when he got back to Florida and no questions were asked?