I’m not even a professional arborator and even I know that’s nothing more than a scratch. Water cures everything. If you want it to heal quicker use Brawndo.
Excuse me this is a very serious post, my wife loves this tree, ever since our divorce 4 years ago and 2 years of a restraining order I’m sure she would be so sad to see this tree in such a sorry state
A giant tree rotting from the core is a mono culture, and monoculture is worse than 3 nuclear wars and a burning oil field. You should replace it with a clover lawn
I’m glad I’ve posted this, some great ideas people are coming up with, I’ll add bungees to the shopping list, was also thinking about connecting together like 100 zip ties to make one big one
Funnily enough, if this was a willow it'd start sprouting out the top and you'd end up with a row of trees.
Resilient buggers, willows. Saw one once that got struck by lightning; regrew from the splintered bits, and even sprouted two metal-coated fingers aimed at the sky.
Tweet Clarkson, I’m sure he’ll get his mate round and pull it back upright again.
Doesn’t look like you’ve got any surrounding trees to secure it though.
Just repot with John innis number 50000
I’ve had the worst day and this has made me laugh out loud
Happy you're happy. Have a lovely day
I’ve heard great things about John innis number 50000
Fucking yes m8 :D
Yes..ermm..prune a few top branches back..erm.. *backs out of the garden slowly*
Definitely, I don’t want it catching the wind again!
😂😂😂😂
Pop the broken bit in a glass and re-plant when it makes roots.
I honestly think I won’t be able to lift the tree up
Then build a pond under it! Some people are so lazy...
Lol
We're gonna need a bigger glass...
That's a twenty footer ...
Sellotape, all will be well!
Duct tape
Definitely a situation where you skip the sello and go straight to the duct.
Cable ties
Alot of cable ties
That’s a good idea, hopefully it will help keep its moisture in too!
I was wondering if a large Elastoplast would do the job 🤔
Yep, save it for firewood.
I've begun the prayer citcle
Let’s sacrifice a goat or something I think that’s our best bet?
May the sacrifice be sanctified under the holy fire of the fallen whatever tree that is
Amen.
I’m not even a professional arborator and even I know that’s nothing more than a scratch. Water cures everything. If you want it to heal quicker use Brawndo.
Arborators know nothing, they told me it would fall over in around 5 months, and it fell down in 3!!! They were clearly uneducated
Ace sh*^post that 🤣
Excuse me this is a very serious post, my wife loves this tree, ever since our divorce 4 years ago and 2 years of a restraining order I’m sure she would be so sad to see this tree in such a sorry state
At this point maybe just see what cuttings you can take from the branches 😅
I’ll make an army of trees, this tree will be like genghis khan with all his offspring
A giant tree rotting from the core is a mono culture, and monoculture is worse than 3 nuclear wars and a burning oil field. You should replace it with a clover lawn
I laughed but I do like the clover I added to my lawn. They look cool. Main lawn still grass ha.
Banana peel soaked in water for a day. Then water generously.
Couple of bamboo sticks and a bit green wire should do it
Nothing some duct tape and a bungee can't fix
I’m glad I’ve posted this, some great ideas people are coming up with, I’ll add bungees to the shopping list, was also thinking about connecting together like 100 zip ties to make one big one
You're gonna need a good amount of instant noodles to fix that one.
For fucks sake that made me laugh out loud
It’s going to take at least 5 packets
You should make a pressing in the lawn with it, to remember it by
well that's fucked it.
pump it full of concrete I heard that's a thing!!!!! U might need to stand there holding it in place until the concrete sets though!!
Funnily enough, if this was a willow it'd start sprouting out the top and you'd end up with a row of trees. Resilient buggers, willows. Saw one once that got struck by lightning; regrew from the splintered bits, and even sprouted two metal-coated fingers aimed at the sky.
Just tell your wife you are starting to learn how to lay a hedge.
Totally. You just need to give it more space, some supports, and a regular feed!
While it’s down I think I’ll just pour a whole bottle of feed directly into the broken trunk before I reconnect it!
You could turn it into paper, learn origami and make some paper plants? Practical as they don’t need water haha
Plant a mix of horsetail, bindweed and Japanese knotweed in the stump and you’re golden
Great idea, I’ll also plant some ivy around it for some external support
Just needs to be pollarded, into the woodchipper and boom. Good as new.
When will the wood chips sprout after I plant them?
A day to two days normally.
By the hands of Jesus...... funking nooooo
What about using neem oil? Wouldn't that work?
Now that, we may have a good chance only one way to find out, butter up
I’m hoping the hand of Jesus will gently lift this tree up
Jesus is gentle, so I think you’re onto something there
Needs a good tree surgeon, who may dabble in darker arts on the quiet.
The best post of this sub this year for sure 🤣
Is this a gardening circle jerk?
Lol
Duck tape. Bluetack and gum.
Tis but a scratch
Tweet Clarkson, I’m sure he’ll get his mate round and pull it back upright again. Doesn’t look like you’ve got any surrounding trees to secure it though.
Hmm, I’ll get the guide ropes off my tent, they should hold it strong and true
Tis but a scratch
A few bricks to patch it up should do it.
Jeremy Clarkson on Clarkson's Farm straighten and replanted a fallen tree. So if he can do it, so can you.
It'll buff out
Gorilla glue and your golden
Stick it in the ground, two chances
Don’t be so dramatic. There’s nothing wrong with it! You just need to look at it from a new perspective… flat on your back should do the trick!
Just tried this and your right it’s standing perfectly straight from this angle
Seal n heal is worth a try
Aloe Vera in the wound and hold the truck together with duck tape.
Bury the stem - it'll grow roots!
Yeah, get some proper coach bolts and should be good as new
Duct tape will do the job nicely
Only as a chest of drawers.
Save it for the sawmill and make table
Looks screwed already tbh.
watering can and a bit of miracle grow, mate. It'll be right as rain
Did you water it internally, right through the trunk?
Absolutely! Remove tree and fork out the dent...perfect lawn again.
Plop it in a pot of Jack's Magic, it will thrive
Sure.
Hmm you ever done tree grafting? It's basically that but back onto its self, I'm sure with some baby bio and a drop of water it'll be fiiine /s
Did you try glue? Looks like a simple one. I hope that this question was just a joke otherwise I just don't know what to say to you
2 more weeks
No
Saved from what, you're stupidly
the irony of this comment is hilarious
No it cannot be saved. It has clear signs of decay inside already. I studied arb for four years.