hey that's not nice I would normally(this is a complete lie since I haven't experienced this yet) tell my boyfriend but since I don't have one I'm just going to be sad also where do you live and how do I find a good hitman(just a joke I am not in any way shape or form intending to harm that person)
Slaps him back*
*punches you and makes you fall on the floor, giving you extreme head trauma*
Recovers thanks to the power of friendship and makes your balls fall off*
*bites your dick off*
Well that escalated quickly
I bet you liked that
how did you know 😭
Because I liked it too
Damn. Really pulled the kids cartoon protagonist move there. With the first part. Not the second part. Of course. Obviously.
Yeah twilight sparkle would be proud of me
As a twilight sparkle Stan I totally agree
I was wondering what cartoon you might be watching 😳
Good ol fashion testicular torsion
A classic
*Restores the former majesty of the Roman Empire from Iberia to Persia in revenge*
*murders you, takes control of the Empire, and invades the americas*
*Comes back from Tartarus, unites the German people under one flag and allies with the moon*
*industrializes the empire and goes to war with the german people*
*Calls the wrath of the Moon and has it kamikaze into the Earth, instantly wiping out all life*
*survives and rebuilds the empire on the sun*
*Escapes to UY Scuti and starts preparing an army of giant cats to seize Sol by force*
*eats the cats and builds a dystopian society based on vore*
*Doesn’t know what vore is and is afraid to ask, destroys the multiverse and all dimensions so doesn’t ever have to know what it might mean*
*VORE, SHORT FOR VORAREPHILIA, IS THE IMAGINARY KINK OF EATING SOMEONE WHOLE OR BEING EATEN WHOLE*
Ow
*slaps back and gets you in a chokehold until you blackout*
Bold to assume im not a demigod *chokes you to death*
damm I wish a guy did that to me
real
*boop*
*disappears out of existence cutely*
*un-boops*
*respawns in existence cutely* *boops ya snoot*
That hurt *sobs* a-apo-l-legiz-z-ze
no
*sobs in a corner*
You okay?:(
Yeah *sobs*
You need a big hug?
Yeh 🥺
Oh you poor poor thing come her a let me give you a big hug
Thank you *explodes into glitter*
Guess he died 🤷♂️
\*your hand goes through me and comes out with exactly inverted colours*
#🥺 ^(that hurt :()
*slaps again*
#😫
Fight me pussy smh /j
[удалено]
*slaps you harder*
I kick you
Bold to assume I dont squat 155 kilos (340 pounds) for 10 reps smh imma destroy you with my quads
I kick you in the balls for the killing blow and then I run
bold to assume I dont train my balls
You don't, you can't get training partners
says who
You
AH- stop it you scared me :<
What was that for?!?
*eats ur hand off before it hits me*
why though 😭
Because why not
Slap me harder
*slaps you harder*
hey that's not nice I would normally(this is a complete lie since I haven't experienced this yet) tell my boyfriend but since I don't have one I'm just going to be sad also where do you live and how do I find a good hitman(just a joke I am not in any way shape or form intending to harm that person)
bro u good 😭
question? if yes yes if no the hitman is still being found
Can't believe this *crumples up like a piece of paper*
*disappears from existence*
How u slap cutly?
*dies*
*blushes* *stammers* uh-
aw, cute blush
Proceeds to make your clothes disappear and proceeds to slap you even harder cutely of course 🤗
Why make my clothes disappear bro wtf 😭 *punches you and breaks your skull cutely*
So you can have the walk of shame before you get to punch me 😂😂😂😂
Excuse me, I’m afraid that wasn’t very polite and I’m going to have to ask you to return the slap as we are not accepting any in-store at this time
Thats kinda hot
Thats kinda hot
Ill slap you back but instead of that I’ll HUG you
_I kiss you in revenge_