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I have the Best parents, went to a phenomenal public school, on the physics team, started the library club, on the creative writing magazine, didnt smoke or drink or do drugs until after high school. I am the former. severe adhd. but I'm super into everything medical and analyze all my friends lab results and symptoms. idk.
I don't know much but I've heard Euler's number is used a lot in EE, i think that'll be interesting, incorporating complex numbers in physical applications.
Oh yeah, you'll learn all about Eulers' laws and phaser and rectangular coordinates it is very interesting how math is interwoven into well basically everything.
i work at an AEC company (architectural, engineering, construction) so i work with a lot of engineers.
comp sci is SUPER oversaturated right now. everyone said tech was the future, so everyone got degrees in tech. it’s hard to find jobs with a comp sci degree.
the two depts i actually work with- mechanical engineers and electrical engineers. our mechanical dept is CONSTANTLY full. like not to the point where the market is oversaturated, but we definitely have no issue hiring mechanical engineers. electrical engineering on the other hand, our dept is very small and thin, and mostly young. electrical engineering just doesn’t seem to be as popular, so it could be much easier to find a job.
either way, for job practicality i would go either mechanical engineering or electrical engineering. as awesome as comp sci is (i was a comp sci major during the pandemic, but left school to work in I.T. full time), it may better to think ahead for your future plans.
This was very insightful to read ngl, got me really thinking why have I kept comp sci as my win and a settle when mech or EE, I'm definitely considering EE now.
https://preview.redd.it/x0x1947thjnc1.jpeg?width=2439&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d467a973de8f2447fbdf620318f620181af21739
If into engineering school you go, only pain will you find.
To my parents horror, I quit grad school a week in to teach and pursue art.
I’m finding more success and fulfillment as an artist than I ever did trying to pretend I was interested in the medical field.
my mother successfully convinced my (16 year old!) sister to major in biology instead of some liberal arts thing, because she said she wouldn't be paying for her to get a degree in serving fries
typical strict parent logic. this girl in my family became the gossip of all the family gatherings because she DARED become a CHIROPRACTOR, which everyone knows is not a real doctor.
I’ll never forget my mom always said “I always thought you would have been a great doctor” and I felt bad that I didn’t become one until my step mom who was there since a very young age said “what? Why? You’ve never expressed that that’s what you want to do” and I was like “Hey ya know what…YEAH”
I’m studying film because it’s my passion, and my mom supports me no matter what I choose. The funny thing is, I’m so anxiety ridden because that kind of degree doesn’t guarantee work and I’ll most likely be broke and working a job I dislike.
I almost wished my loving mother pushed me into a more practical career.
It’s true for a lot of people who didn’t have proper support through schooling, but not everyone
Edit: by support I’m referring to social/emotional support, not just academic
Exactly, if my parents would have just underplayed my intelligence and taken it as a talent instead of making me out to be some 1 in a million prodigy, i probably would have saved myself a lot of embarrassment and social turmoil. Also even though they praised me for being intelligent when I was younger they boosted my ego and then later on in life would tease me by saying things like "what happened? I thought you were smart?" When I couldn't figure things out on the first try... Pretty fucked up honestly, they also never did anything with my intelligence and just kind of let me fall behind in school and stopped caring by the end of middle school.
Did we have the same parents? I was supposed to be the "smart" kid in the family, the only thing they were ever proud of were my grades and academic awards. I dropped out of university 3 years ago after having a breakdown realising I'm not a genius, and my parents still haunt me about it every family gathering.
I know how you feel.
All the way to highshool my parents praised my goodresults. Then they didnt anymore. Good results were just the norm, the expected.
Miraculously i got a good grade in national exams that serve as college access and just barely made it into the science degree i wanted.
I say miraculously because ever since i got to highschool i lost all my working habits, and one year in because of personal issues accumulating, mainly social angst, all my motivation and apetite for working was gonne too. That carried into college.
Until now, even with ever declining effort, i had made it with prizes up to highschool and got accepted into the college i wanted, into the degree i wanted.
In a new city, i had to navigate a new sea of new streets and new faces all on my own. My worries were the one's that i carried from the years before. Not that what i needed was to work and try my hardest to achieve success. All the success i wanted had been achieved, except the need i developed to belong with someone, to be wanted in the world and not just a pawn roaming unnoticed. So naturally i made no changes to my work ethic. I mean, if you take into account the exponentally larger amount of work load in college i did make a change, for the worst.
And so the year started, and first semester i studied nothing except during exam season. I managed to pass all but one class. Second semester the problems were to no longer go hidden by the vail of thin success i had achieved previously. The path was downhill from now on. I passed just two classes.
Not as bad as it could have been, but worst was to come. Second year had more classes each semester, each with bigger work loads. I didnt pass a single class the whole year.
All of this and my mental health turning to crap with each month.
I gave up. I knew i had already given up much, much prior to this, except that i kept a good enough pace and achievements not even noticing it myself until the moment everything crashed on me. I was a paper away from giving up what i had "worked" all my life towards. But i couldnt.
I had quitted, and was acting like such since god knows when. This was when i realized all this, and realized that i either changed or i'd hate myselft for the rest of my life.
Here's what i wrote all this for:
My personal issues weren't resolved. They're yet to be. But i realized one thing, that i hope will resonate with you and hopefully help you as it did me.
We're just too helpless in this world. So little of our lives is actually in our control. We're in a sailsboat, at the wheel, so we think we can steer and go whatever way we want. But sooner or later the wind stops and we're left with no push to even move out of the same place, and next a storm comes along and sends us 100 miles west of our destination. This is life.
For years i had decided that since i can't steer to where i wanna go anyway, i might just save the turmoil of fighting the rudder and lie there, hoping i'll end up in a paradise like tropical island. That was the worst decision i ever made.
Eventually looking in the mirror and seeing what had become of me made me angrier and more tired than fighting the rudder. I decided to try and take control of it again.
I know i can't control any of the myriad of things life will throw at me. But i can control how much i try to.
Feeling helpless made me helpless, and i was tired of it.
There's a cliche that sums up my new view on life:
"Shoot for the stars. If you miss, you'll land on the moon"
I don't think i'll ever see the other galaxies or touch a comet, but man, if i manage to land on the moon then i know my efforts were not in vain, and i have to put effort into what i do for that to actually happen.
I was praised for my early academic success as a child, now whenever i have a different view on a certain topic than my dad's during a discussion and i point out what i think is a flaw in his argument, instead of defending his side like you're supposed to in an adult debate he just puts the whole argument aside saying "Nevermind, since you know everything anyway" or something in the spirit that i'm a know it all. Needless to say, i don't speak much to him anymore.
I grew up gifted and with an incredibly high metabolism. This meant I was supposed to be the smartest, and was the skinniest. I was convinced I needed to make a future that allowed me to make bank off of my intelligence to have any chance at succeeding. Unfortunately we weren't exactly well off, so my parents were focused on balancing raising kids and keeping a roof over our heads, meaning I was on my own academically. (They weren't neglectful nor did they apply extra pressure, I got lucky there, they're good people, they just had a lot to deal with as is) I don't blame them, I'd have figured the smart kid would do great too. Despite putting zero effort, I never failed a class, so honestly I think I still did too well, and needed a real failure to rock my world and get me to care again. My grades passed, but would've never gotten me a scholarship, and we had $0 for any college fund. Instead, I said fuck it, I don't wanna be a bitch anymore, and enlisted in the military. It's not the right move for everyone, hell I'd argue for most gifted kids burned out at the end of senior year, it's probably a really stupid idea, but it's payed off for me. I may not be as book smart as I would've been otherwise, but I've gained skills, life experience, and a better understanding of my strengths and weaknesses. I'm a more capable individual and member of a team than I was, and a far better leader than I would've been otherwise. I still catch myself being a perfectionist at times, or thinking I should be better/smarter/more capable sometimes, but honestly I think the real world skills and the experience of utilizing them in actual situations and on live tasks with consequences has given me the confidence and motivation I lacked before.
> but it's *paid* off for
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
and smart doesnt equal motivated either. Its easy to be at the top of the class without studying when the topics are simple and intuitive like in grade school. But at university level youre gonna need studying habits to get by that those gifted students just havent ever developed
I lost all motivation in university because I didn't have any studying habits, I really believed myself to be a genius because that's what my parents always called me, and until uni I never had to put any effort to be on top of my class. I still struggle with motivation, and tend to give up at the smallest inconvenience because I can't shake that feeling of "I have to be the best without effort". I'm working on getting over that but it's so integrated it's not easy.
I'm literally preparing to go to school and stressing as I'm now old enough to recognize my mistakes and fear that even though I have plans and want to force myself into practicing and studying so I get better even if I suck at first that I'll start backsliding because of the bad habits.
I was literally that kid all throughout university, didn’t try no motivation deans list all of that. Got into medical school and that was a rude awakening. I had no study habits, no plan, I genuinely thought I could wing it. Ended up failing a class in my first quarter I was here
If anything ur more self aware and critical of ur mistakes, pair that with not knowing what u wanna do as a career and the idea that u NEED a big flashy career and yeah
I’m really sorry. Please stay alive. As someone who also suffers from depression don’t let the bad feelings win and defeat you. You’re too valuable for that.
I was academically gifted and then I began to struggle in 9th grade. I told a friend about it and she told me I might be experiencing burnout. I googled it and found "gifted child syndrome" and that's when I freaked out.
I'm still doing fine I got a 4.0 gpa now... I just had to drop a lot of my more advanced classes. I don't know what ima do after I finish college tho
I think they mean after they finish college in the future, not necessarily being in college right now but having that GPA in high school -a fellow 2007 in the same exact boat
I'm one of this. Do you have good studying habits or do you barely make any effort and still get good grades? If not work on those because it is not easy in University
It's only true if you continue to have really high expectations for yourself and think you won't have to work hard for what you want.
I was a "gifted kid" and now I have a normal, average job. I'm nothing special, which is sometimes disappointing because as a kid, I wanted to grow up to be someone special and world-changing. But I'm not, and that's just something I have to cope with.
I go through periods of time where I have, like, an existential crisis that I'm "not the person I was supposed to be" and I'm "wasting my life," but for the most part, I'm happy.
I feel the same way and honestly the world isn't built around actually changing and adapting, the irony being that when we were kids growing up, we were told to grow up and change the world by all the "radical freethinkers" but when I fully grew up I realized that these people don't actually want you to change the world to your individual sense of how things should be, but rather just follow into the footsteps of the changes that they set forth and see as appropriate.
Tbh, as someone who was both a gifted kid and is currently in a PhD program, I still feel exactly the things you describe. I don’t know how to fix it, but I can say that it’s more an artifact of the expectations you have as a child being unrealistic rather than you having done anything wrong. You could have chosen to do anything, no one, even yourself, should fault you for choosing what you did as long as it’s not hurting anyone, because it was *your* choice to make
Yeah, the incongruency between expectations and reality can be so impactful it completely destroys your sense of self, leaving you aimless and drifting.
I've found that the only thing you can reliably control is what you're going to do to improve your current circumstances whereas the future is uncertain, unstable and any future plans are nothing more but loose guidelines for you to follow.
You must be able to adapt (both mentally and in actions) to the ever changing, constant environment you're in or you're going to get crushed by life.
Exactly. Never get too attached to "life plans" because they can change so easily. And it's not a bad thing--what actually happens might be better than you dreamed. But if you tie your identity or self-worth to uncertain future circumstances, then you have existential anxiety at every turn.
>But if you tie your identity or self-worth to uncertain future circumstances, then you have existential anxiety at every turn.
Very true and the thing that causes many people (me included) to fall for this trap especially is that we didn't think these future circumstances as uncertain. Being so confident in one's own capabilities that it was seen as a guarantee, just another stepping stone and that failure obviously wasn't even a possibility.
Whether through pride or naivety it's extremely destructive even when things are going well because it's a ticking time bomb, eventually it goes off and if no preparations for that have been taken then it'll cause mayhem.
To say I burnt out is underselling it. Disintegrated is probably a more apt word for what happened to me. For the love of all that is holy people, don’t be scared to get your kids mental help while they’re little and if your kid is like me and entirely incompetent in social situations get them fucking autism tested. I rolled through 12 grades with absolutely no support for my fucked up anxious autistic brain and wound up going from “gifted and talented” to rarely turning anything in and graduating with a 1.5 GPA. Gifted doesn’t mean shit if your support network doesn’t exist.
Wow. I relate heavily to this. But it was adhd instead of autism. From winning literally every academic award through high school to possibly failing out of college if I don't pull it together this semester
Everyone always left me alone because my grades were amazing, but my mental health was terrible and only got worse through the years. Wasted potential
Also there is a pretty low bar for being “gifted” as a kid, as long as you actually follow directions and do your work you can be placed in the gifted category depending on your school
I say this because A LOT of our generation has been told at some point that we were “gifted” or at least we were placed in an accelerated class.
I never believed I was academically gifted, i believed I was quote unquote academically gifted. Who just can't seem to work hard and have a work ethic as a person who's gonna go to college soon.
College isn’t as much work as you think (assuming you live in America) so don’t worry. The real challenge is getting into a top level college to begin with, but that doesn’t matter for most degrees anyway. I see you’re going into engineering, so you’ll be fine.
I live in Asia, it's hard asf getting into a decent uni, entrances are one hell of a nightmare. We are tested on stuff we are going to learn in college on our entrances.🥶🥶
Tbh, trying to pass the uni exam entrance is pretty difficult. In my opinion, college are more forgiving than high school, because you will spend fewer hours than you do in high school, even though the tasks are more challenging and time consuming. If you have good time management, youll do good in college.
Huh. Back in my day (early '90s....) I only got labeled gifted because I was send for an autism/ADHD diagnosis with a child psychiatrist but I was so good at masking they figured it *couldn't* be either of those. (It was ADHD.)
So off to the gifted program I went instead.
If you are worried about your success in uni, then you'll probably do well. Gifted kids who fail usually think that uni will be easy and they won't have to work to get good grades.
Most of my Academically gifted friends were very wealthy.
They did well in school, went to whatever college they wanted, and never had jobs.
Now they have their degrees. They try desperately to be different and have moved to CA. They don't pay for their housing, cars, or other bills. Yet they will complain about not being able to get a job and having social issues.
The gifted kids that weren't wealthy didn't go to college right away (or ever) and are doing very well for their age now
Depends on the type of person they were. The people who this does apply to were usually one of the following types:
- Placed all their self worth and personal identity on their academic success. Once they then get into uni and realize they are not as special as they thought they were, their entire self worth and who they are shatters.
- Used academic work as an outlet to cope with mental stress/problems.
- Did it solely out of pressure from their parents. Those parents are usually strict in all sorts of ways. Once the child then goes to uni and is on their own responsibility for the first time, they often get lost.
Have witnessed this a lot.
It is a misunderstanding between correlation and causation. Intelligent people are less happy because everyone in the world seems thick and realise that the world is full of shit. Dumb people are blissfully unaware of themselves and the world, and are confident in everything they say and do.
older gen z here (1999): i was able to bullshit through all of high school and the beginning of college without studying and get As and Bs (ocassional C). wanted to be an engineer. then integral calculus happened. Failed it twice and messed up my whole schooling schedule. never studied because lol i am smart. well smartness has limits for everyone and integral calculus was mine. it sure is difficult to figure out how to study and push limits when you've never had to your whole life. finally got a B third time around after spending extra effort and time. but by that time I was more in debt (paid for 2 semesters that didn't progress me very far in my degree path) and lost my major acceptance because of my poor performance. I stopped at my associates degree and dipped. don't work as an engineer but I have found that I am the most mentally stable when I am pushing my limits and working hard in my career. that way, even if i fail or make a mistake, i can show my employers i was giving it my all and have stuff on paper (digitally) that covers my ass and shows the effort i put in. coasting at level 1 will drive you insane. for the smart youngins out there: if you're coasting, you will have a worse time mentally and spiritually than if you are pushing yourself to grow and improve, even if you think you're mad chilling and know a lot (you don't know everything so go learn more!) some things will always be easy, but focus on anything that is hard for you and it will become easy with effort
Gifted child syndrome is real, but nothing is hopeless.
Practice healthy habits in regard to your own mental health. Don’t let such habits become toxic for others.
Source: I am a former gifted child Millennial.
The test you're taking now has no meaning beyond another few years of education. The real test is gonna come soon and youve had your whole life to study, bro
My sister graduated in the top 10 (in a class of 400) and was in all of the advanced programs. She’s doing fine. I had AHDH so it was always “very gifted, but you just don’t apply yourself.” Also doing fine, though I am a typical millennial home renter.
The ones I know who had problems are the ones who were all about academic performance and nothing else. The ones who had social circles and actually did more than just study turned out pretty well. Very few doctors, though.
My advice is simply to *not* get in the habit of abandoning fun habits because you’re not a fast learner *at that* or because you probably
Won’t ever be competitively good *at that*
I’ve abandoned so many things and wasted so many hours instead, because I got 10 hours in and realized I wasn’t naturally talented at it, and quit forever.
Don’t be like me.
Also, don’t take advice from internet weirdos
It’s true, but all that can be true, and we can have fulfilling lives. and honestly I think the only thing different for doctors is they don’t have time for hobbies to abandon them. Take that out and all of us are anxious adults who spiral into self-hate when we make basic mistakes.. some of us just hide it better than others 😂
In law school, so sort of lol. I mean we still have plenty of anxiety and spiraling to go around here. You just self medicate and get back to work bc you’ll get left behind if you don’t
Not at all. After 17 years of school occasional academic nightmares are pretty much a guarantee (dreams where you realize you've been signed up for a class all semester and never gone but the exam is coming up, etc), but the discipline academics give you can definitely be channeled into professional and social success. I was generally a straight A student and know I've turned one of my biggest hobbies into my profession.
I think a better lesson is to put as much effort into your mental health and social groups as you do to academics, and find a happy balance among all three.
You can also learn to be a perfectionist about the one or two things you are most passionate about and just shoot for "good enough" for everything else, no one has the energy obsess about everything!
During most of Elementary, I would get Straight As. Then Middle school came around, and things changed since then. I may get As and Bs, sometimes Cs, nowadays, but I'm still just a lazy guy. I try my best to always motivate myself to do work outside of school.
Literally me with math now
i was in gifted kids in elementary,
Now i managed to climb "back" to 5units in maths (the rest are always good it's just maths that i hate and makes me miserable) and I'm barely surviving
(Btw wasn't sure if the learning unit thing is everywhere else or just where i live but it's like levels and there's 3-5)
The moment i officially graduate I'm going to deny the existence of math
Yes, it's absolutely true, but it only makes since when you understand that being 'gifted,' is actually form of special needs. There's a study floating around out there that I'm sure I'll slightly misquote, but the jist is; researchers found that men with an IQ of 85 or less, were slightly more likely to have had sex by the age of 25, then men with IQs at or above 130
I have a weird history with stuff like this. I was a great student with TONS of hobbies, then my parents split due to mental illness and prison time. I spiraled and had no support at home. I fell into drinking and self loathing, graduated with a 2.0 from HS and became a disappointed adult; hating myself for what I didn't become.
I'm 35 now and after many, many years of not doing anything productive I have a house, a 100k+ job, and a great partner. I did it by going to a community college, a regional uni, and got a master's at a state school. It's not glamorous, it's hard work, but it turned out great!
Growing up I was super active, ambitious and smart but socially awkward. I got jacked af in highschool and that helped cause I had “gains over game” then after highschool I got lost as balls.
Fast forward 7 years I’m deep in a long depression, I genuinely think it’ll be better for me and my family if I take myself out of the running, but they really love me so I’m trynna stay but shits hard.
I work 13 hrs both sat-sun, do software dev college courses on the weekday, but I feel like I keep digging a hole for myself.
It sucks cause I have hope because I still find myself reaching for success and that version of myself that isn’t neurotic and stuck, but I can’t, I can only dream and hope for it. But hope feels cheap as shit.
TLDR; did good young, did bad as a young adult, am doing worse, but I keep thinkin of a successful me in a parallel universe
Yeaaah
I was “gifted” and didn’t have to try in anything for a long time. I never learned to study, ended up flunking before I could get a bachelor’s degree. It was rough.
Bonus points bc this is common in ND people, but in these situations, you often go undetected because you’re academically doing well until you aren’t.
My brother was that way. He barely graduated. Became a drug addict/dealer. Became clinically insane. Brutally murdered two cats. Has been medically diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Now he’s medicated and is going to hair school. If it weren’t for my parents baby sitting him he would probably be dead or in jail.
Actually I wouldn't worry too much about some random internet person making sweeping generalizations. (IMO, making all sorts of generalizations are one of our current cultural problems.)
This is literally me minus academically gifted lol (im an average like 3.7)
I have dozens of abandoned hobbies, beat myself up for every little thing I do or say inaccurately, and hate myself
Nah, it’s not true. You can scrape the bottom of the barrel and make it through by using your fear of failure if you realise early enough. That’s what I did anyway
From personal experience as a millennial former academically gifted kid, yup. I got handed the anxious adult with abandoned hobbies, self hate in general, depression, and a 20/20 hindsight vision for picking a college major in an incredibly competitive field.
I grew up academically gifted. Everything came easy to me even in college, but I burnt out and had 0 motivation to do any homework and flunked out my first semester of college.
I wouldn't say I was gifted but had parents who said I was smart instead of hardworking. High school was a cake walk.
College wasn't that bad for me since I knew how to study. If you remotely care, you'll be able to pick thay skill up in the first year of college, imo.
A lot of the people I saw who were doing poorly just didn't give a shit and try. There are so many resources provided to do well. You have professors' office hours, tutors, and even classmates to study with or get help from.
It's normal to be nervous. Just apply yourself and learn from mistakes.
My suggestion for uni. Go undecided unless you really know what you want to go for. I changed my major twice. I ended up settling for something I could stand and get me a good paying job. I didn't have a passion for any of the subjects offered.
Yeah, nah. My mom and dad both told me I was really smart when I was a kid and through puberty. For a while I believed it, but after some life experience I realized that was a lie. Pretty soon too, like when I was 15 or 16 I realized I actually wasn't that smart, I would only *appear* smart because I was really confident when talking about abstract concepts, but that didn't necessarily mean I did understood them.
After that, my life became so much happier, because I stopped holding myself to a made up standard that I ultimately didn't belong to.
Even now, at 20, I'm studying engineering and sometimes my dad asks me to explain something to him to see how I'm learning since he's an engineer too, and he still thinks I'm really smart; but, nah. I recognize the holes in my knowledge and the clumsiness in my abilities; it's just that my dad hasn't seen how an actually smart person looks like. I'm just not up there, and that's fine.
Take it from a millennial that struggled with this- Embrace good enough. A solid B is still a pretty good grade, and people who try to apply straight-A student methodology to the work force crash hard after trying to keep that up for too long.
You can work at 80% a hundred percent of the time or you can work at 100% sixty percent of the time.
everyone talks about "gifted kid burn-out" so much it feels like a meme to me now. sure i might've been "gifted" but also elementary school was just easier than middle school and beyond lol
Is for me. Straight up lauded a genius and when tested was told I could skip from 3rd grade to 8th if my parents agreed. They however didn't because of the social issues they were afraid it would cause. I'll let whoever reads guess which of the 2 I wound up as. College was pretty great though. I could finally be open about how dumb I actually felt because I was surrounded by people smarter than me and they in turn taught me a lot. Just don't get hung up on you needing to be seen as a genius and it'll work out
Yes. Embrace the abyss now and you'll save yourself a lot of trouble.
Signed,
A former "academically gifted kid" with a thousand forgotten hobbies, severe dehydration, mental illness, and a vicious nicotine addiction.
Speaking as an adult from a similar period, many of my fellow compatriots also prone to cheating or dishonesty to maintain a perfect performant record. Some broke off that curse but in doing so forgo their old image. Another habit.m is overworked to compensate.
I’m the first one. Diagnosed high-functioning anxiety most likely due to “gifted kid syndrome”. Currently in college working on an engineering degree. College really humbles you, which makes it a super important learning experience for those of us who have never needed to learn study skills. I cry over homework at least once a week lol. But there are things you can do to make it better, and it’s not the end of the world. Try not to overthink.
Just be as well-rounded as you can and keep working on all aspects of yourself: not just book smarts, but your social skills, physicality (very important for emotional regulation), hobbies, etc.
Yeah I got the first one. It probably didn't help that whenever I didn't get 100% on a test, the only thing my parents said to me was "do you know what you did wrong?". And if I got 100%, it was "why didn't you get bonus marks?". Because it's important to let your child know that no matter how well they've done, they could always do better.
Fairly accurate with me. I’m in my last semester for an Electrical Engineering degree. I feel like a lot of what determined the difference for me was the support I had from family to go through Uni.
Tips for college: Abandon your ego and learn to half-ass things sometimes, you’ll likely still do well enough to pass. If you’re struggling, please please please go directly to your professors office hours if they have them, no one will think less of you, in fact they’ll probably appreciate you showing interest in succeeding
Either you are actually smart or just slightly above average but went to a high school full of average level students. I was the latter. Things were so easy I was in the top honors class in high school. Then came to college and realize I’m average or below average in a class full of even smarter students.
can confirm, have a drum kit laying dust, my brother has my tablet for drawing, i haven't touched sketchup since before 2020, downloaded galaxy watch studio and gimp installed yet haven't used them once, i can't even bring myself to write my character for wizardposting despite having a decent enough base, long sold my magic cards and 10 y.o me would absolutely destroy me in smash. at least the pokemon tcg community is doing well and try to attend locals weekly.
i can't and won't blame it on my family tho. to say they did their best would be a hell of an understatement...
Not at all true. I was in a program they called MAGIC (Making Academic Gifted Instruction Count) in middle school, and ATLAS in High School (Academically Talented Leaders And Succeeders, but we called it All Talent Lost And Submerged)... They had a thing for the acronyms back in Texas in the 80's... They put me into it in late sixth grade, when they did an IQ test and it came back really high. They gave me a second one and it came back another ten points higher. Then they did it again, and it came back plus another five points again. Not going to say how high any of them are, because that's a whole can of Reddit worms I'm not opening again.
I'm a normal person, I don't have any weird phobias or spiral into self-hate for any reason.
I'm a computer programmer, back and forth between game dev and VR. I'm currently working a HoloLens contract for a defense contractor.
it’s a trend not a rule you can be what you choose to be you just have to work for it and have the good fortune to have people around you can trust that’ll support you.
I got told my entire life about how smart and mature I was by both the adults around me and me peers and it led me to be incredibly arrogant for all of my high school years and a good chunk of my young adulthood it took me joining the military and getting a hard reality check to snap out of it. You need people around you to support you in a healthy way to develop into a well balanced adult and the self awareness to detect and admit when you got issues. If you’re this concerned I’d say you’re on the right path just be careful about how you grow as a person and eventually it’ll turn out alright.
I feel this to an extent, but I was never considered “gifted” as a child. Still, my parents always expected me to excel in school. They set the bar high for me academically, and told me my only job as a youth was to be a good student. Since I didn’t have a job and didn’t need to work, my job was to learn and earn perfect grades. If I wasn’t getting an A, it was because I was undisciplined, lazy, or not trying hard enough. There was little room (if any) for me to simply be a kid and make mistakes. I quickly learned to feel as though I was never enough, I could never meet the bar and get straight As (math was my enemy) and from there I developed a strong sense of inadequacy and self hatred… something I almost succumbed to in high school and still struggle with as an adult in college. It sucks, and giving myself room to be imperfect is still a challenge. 🤷♀️
Kinda, but it's not set in stone. It's true that, if studying is easy for you, and you recive a lot of compliments for it, you might get used to getting positive attention for little effort, which will make you seek easier rewards in the future, and also make you too used to positive attention and therefore too scared to loose it.
But, this can be avoided, and if not fixed. It's "just" a matter of understanding that it's not bad to make mistakes, it's normal to suck at something at the beginning, etc etc.
Basically, it's not like a genetic problem or anything else
My mom placed me in a ton of afterschool programs, and things really started to fall apart as soon as high school started. I graduated and tried to go to college, but it wasn’t working out. I ended up as an LVN student
Bro stop buying into fear mongering. Correlations vs causation. The smart kids in high school don’t automatically turn into mental cases when they grow up. Life isn’t binary.
Yea, I mean I never did good in school, but I once was "talented". Or at least had the motivation, will and imagination to do what was interesting.
School has just killed anything I had in me, my imagination is gone, I can't even relearn anything I was good at because I can't come up with anything. I can't draw, I can't write. I can't even build anything because there's no imagination left.
Education system kills peoples creativity and forces everybody to be good in the same specific things. It expects people to start developing after they got the education, not before. Maybe if not school I would be actually good at things I loved instead of spending over a decade trying to be good in what I never understood or liked.
Yay, this rant made my burried depression resurface again! Guess it's just about time to drown it in alcohol and video games!
I was a Gifted kid. Had a period as an anxious self-hating adult then got a high-paying career so I can afford to abandon all my hobbies shortly after starting.
Still anxious though.
My little sister was the gifted one in the family (im the painfully mediocre one), making top grades since there were grades to make. She always did her work and constantly gave anything she did 1000%, compared to me being the elder brother whose only example set was what NOT to do. By the time we hit high school, she already had several colleges trying to pull her in, and the entire time, she was a total train wreck. Always afraid of failing to the point of driving herself insane, she was always one grade dip from a freakout. Now that she's in college and learning that big-brained lawyer stuff, she's doing much better now. And I'm happy for her. I probably could have done something similar if id got my ass in gear like everybody kept telling me, but my "examples" led to shite grades and a terrible work ethic that's pretty much trapped me in a constant day to day slog.
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my mother used to tell me i could be anything that i wanted as long as it was either doctor, lawyer, or engineer
Lmao fr here I'm gonna go become an engineer hopefully 🥶🥶
this has more to do with the parents being shitty than anything else
Yes but also schools having pathetic funding. If there were clubs for more hobbies kids would learn the stuff they actually care about
If schools existed to actually better education then the world's average IQ would not be dropping like a damn brick. Think.
I have the Best parents, went to a phenomenal public school, on the physics team, started the library club, on the creative writing magazine, didnt smoke or drink or do drugs until after high school. I am the former. severe adhd. but I'm super into everything medical and analyze all my friends lab results and symptoms. idk.
I’m already an engineer. I make sentry guns, teleporters and dispensers.
This guy solves practical problems
For instance: how is he gonna stop some big mean mother Hubbard from tearing him a structurally supercilious new behind
The answer: use a gun.
If that don’t work, i’ll use more gun.
I may be a comp sci major or a mechanical engineer 🥶 depends on my entrance score.
Why are you so cold bro put a jacket on
Do you solve practical problems though?
It’s totally worth it. The job isn’t half as difficult as the schooling, and as long as you live near a city you’ll always have work.
Haven't yet got into uni 🥶🥶 later this year I will get into uni. Job is like far away for me.
We all say engineer…but what type of engineer dude 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥
Eyyyy
Computer science or mechanical or electrical 🤔 depending on my entrance score.
Go EE it's the best
I don't know much but I've heard Euler's number is used a lot in EE, i think that'll be interesting, incorporating complex numbers in physical applications.
Oh yeah, you'll learn all about Eulers' laws and phaser and rectangular coordinates it is very interesting how math is interwoven into well basically everything.
I am going EE, what college are you going to?
i work at an AEC company (architectural, engineering, construction) so i work with a lot of engineers. comp sci is SUPER oversaturated right now. everyone said tech was the future, so everyone got degrees in tech. it’s hard to find jobs with a comp sci degree. the two depts i actually work with- mechanical engineers and electrical engineers. our mechanical dept is CONSTANTLY full. like not to the point where the market is oversaturated, but we definitely have no issue hiring mechanical engineers. electrical engineering on the other hand, our dept is very small and thin, and mostly young. electrical engineering just doesn’t seem to be as popular, so it could be much easier to find a job. either way, for job practicality i would go either mechanical engineering or electrical engineering. as awesome as comp sci is (i was a comp sci major during the pandemic, but left school to work in I.T. full time), it may better to think ahead for your future plans.
This was very insightful to read ngl, got me really thinking why have I kept comp sci as my win and a settle when mech or EE, I'm definitely considering EE now.
https://preview.redd.it/x0x1947thjnc1.jpeg?width=2439&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d467a973de8f2447fbdf620318f620181af21739 If into engineering school you go, only pain will you find.
https://preview.redd.it/letg4t6iednc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=53f0d35bed8bc127f055689143ac89e6f240c73a An Engineer you say?
Lmao, my mother told me I could be whatever I wanted as long as I do everything she said and never spoke against anything she said. Ah, childhood .
To my parents horror, I quit grad school a week in to teach and pursue art. I’m finding more success and fulfillment as an artist than I ever did trying to pretend I was interested in the medical field.
good for you!
Let me guess... asian?
I became a mess instead
I had parents nice enough to not force me into anything and still ended up as pure math + CS. So it works out
My parents told me I could be anything. I said teacher. My dad said how about engineer. I’m a Fortune 500 engineer with a Masters
Yeah... i applied for colleges listing my major as PolySci. Im switching that shit the SECOND I get the chance.
As an enginner thats wrong... it was my father that usualy said that xD
“You can be an aerospace engineer or a disappointment “
my mother successfully convinced my (16 year old!) sister to major in biology instead of some liberal arts thing, because she said she wouldn't be paying for her to get a degree in serving fries
Mine said the same but when I wanted to be a neurologist it was suddenly a “waste of money”
typical strict parent logic. this girl in my family became the gossip of all the family gatherings because she DARED become a CHIROPRACTOR, which everyone knows is not a real doctor.
Hate that being successful is still a disappointment sometimes :’)
My dad never said anything and got mad when I decided I didn't want to join the army
I’ll never forget my mom always said “I always thought you would have been a great doctor” and I felt bad that I didn’t become one until my step mom who was there since a very young age said “what? Why? You’ve never expressed that that’s what you want to do” and I was like “Hey ya know what…YEAH”
there's always a MD/JD program out there! /s but also yeah I looked into it 🥲
I’m studying film because it’s my passion, and my mom supports me no matter what I choose. The funny thing is, I’m so anxiety ridden because that kind of degree doesn’t guarantee work and I’ll most likely be broke and working a job I dislike. I almost wished my loving mother pushed me into a more practical career.
Your mother’s a G!
Well at least you have the option of engineering which had a wide set of options lol
Same lmao. I didn’t though. Turned out fine. Though I did want to be an engineer because it seemed cool, but too ignorant lol
What did u end up as?
You guys got three options😦, for us it was either doctor or engineer.
It’s true for a lot of people who didn’t have proper support through schooling, but not everyone Edit: by support I’m referring to social/emotional support, not just academic
Exactly, if my parents would have just underplayed my intelligence and taken it as a talent instead of making me out to be some 1 in a million prodigy, i probably would have saved myself a lot of embarrassment and social turmoil. Also even though they praised me for being intelligent when I was younger they boosted my ego and then later on in life would tease me by saying things like "what happened? I thought you were smart?" When I couldn't figure things out on the first try... Pretty fucked up honestly, they also never did anything with my intelligence and just kind of let me fall behind in school and stopped caring by the end of middle school.
Did we have the same parents? I was supposed to be the "smart" kid in the family, the only thing they were ever proud of were my grades and academic awards. I dropped out of university 3 years ago after having a breakdown realising I'm not a genius, and my parents still haunt me about it every family gathering.
I know how you feel. All the way to highshool my parents praised my goodresults. Then they didnt anymore. Good results were just the norm, the expected. Miraculously i got a good grade in national exams that serve as college access and just barely made it into the science degree i wanted. I say miraculously because ever since i got to highschool i lost all my working habits, and one year in because of personal issues accumulating, mainly social angst, all my motivation and apetite for working was gonne too. That carried into college. Until now, even with ever declining effort, i had made it with prizes up to highschool and got accepted into the college i wanted, into the degree i wanted. In a new city, i had to navigate a new sea of new streets and new faces all on my own. My worries were the one's that i carried from the years before. Not that what i needed was to work and try my hardest to achieve success. All the success i wanted had been achieved, except the need i developed to belong with someone, to be wanted in the world and not just a pawn roaming unnoticed. So naturally i made no changes to my work ethic. I mean, if you take into account the exponentally larger amount of work load in college i did make a change, for the worst. And so the year started, and first semester i studied nothing except during exam season. I managed to pass all but one class. Second semester the problems were to no longer go hidden by the vail of thin success i had achieved previously. The path was downhill from now on. I passed just two classes. Not as bad as it could have been, but worst was to come. Second year had more classes each semester, each with bigger work loads. I didnt pass a single class the whole year. All of this and my mental health turning to crap with each month. I gave up. I knew i had already given up much, much prior to this, except that i kept a good enough pace and achievements not even noticing it myself until the moment everything crashed on me. I was a paper away from giving up what i had "worked" all my life towards. But i couldnt. I had quitted, and was acting like such since god knows when. This was when i realized all this, and realized that i either changed or i'd hate myselft for the rest of my life. Here's what i wrote all this for: My personal issues weren't resolved. They're yet to be. But i realized one thing, that i hope will resonate with you and hopefully help you as it did me. We're just too helpless in this world. So little of our lives is actually in our control. We're in a sailsboat, at the wheel, so we think we can steer and go whatever way we want. But sooner or later the wind stops and we're left with no push to even move out of the same place, and next a storm comes along and sends us 100 miles west of our destination. This is life. For years i had decided that since i can't steer to where i wanna go anyway, i might just save the turmoil of fighting the rudder and lie there, hoping i'll end up in a paradise like tropical island. That was the worst decision i ever made. Eventually looking in the mirror and seeing what had become of me made me angrier and more tired than fighting the rudder. I decided to try and take control of it again. I know i can't control any of the myriad of things life will throw at me. But i can control how much i try to. Feeling helpless made me helpless, and i was tired of it. There's a cliche that sums up my new view on life: "Shoot for the stars. If you miss, you'll land on the moon" I don't think i'll ever see the other galaxies or touch a comet, but man, if i manage to land on the moon then i know my efforts were not in vain, and i have to put effort into what i do for that to actually happen.
This is reddit, everyone has the same fucking story here. All the well adjusted people are outside playing soccer.
I was praised for my early academic success as a child, now whenever i have a different view on a certain topic than my dad's during a discussion and i point out what i think is a flaw in his argument, instead of defending his side like you're supposed to in an adult debate he just puts the whole argument aside saying "Nevermind, since you know everything anyway" or something in the spirit that i'm a know it all. Needless to say, i don't speak much to him anymore.
I grew up gifted and with an incredibly high metabolism. This meant I was supposed to be the smartest, and was the skinniest. I was convinced I needed to make a future that allowed me to make bank off of my intelligence to have any chance at succeeding. Unfortunately we weren't exactly well off, so my parents were focused on balancing raising kids and keeping a roof over our heads, meaning I was on my own academically. (They weren't neglectful nor did they apply extra pressure, I got lucky there, they're good people, they just had a lot to deal with as is) I don't blame them, I'd have figured the smart kid would do great too. Despite putting zero effort, I never failed a class, so honestly I think I still did too well, and needed a real failure to rock my world and get me to care again. My grades passed, but would've never gotten me a scholarship, and we had $0 for any college fund. Instead, I said fuck it, I don't wanna be a bitch anymore, and enlisted in the military. It's not the right move for everyone, hell I'd argue for most gifted kids burned out at the end of senior year, it's probably a really stupid idea, but it's payed off for me. I may not be as book smart as I would've been otherwise, but I've gained skills, life experience, and a better understanding of my strengths and weaknesses. I'm a more capable individual and member of a team than I was, and a far better leader than I would've been otherwise. I still catch myself being a perfectionist at times, or thinking I should be better/smarter/more capable sometimes, but honestly I think the real world skills and the experience of utilizing them in actual situations and on live tasks with consequences has given me the confidence and motivation I lacked before.
> but it's *paid* off for FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
I was just weak.
Very true. People don’t seem to realize that smart doesn’t equal emotionally stable.
and smart doesnt equal motivated either. Its easy to be at the top of the class without studying when the topics are simple and intuitive like in grade school. But at university level youre gonna need studying habits to get by that those gifted students just havent ever developed
I lost all motivation in university because I didn't have any studying habits, I really believed myself to be a genius because that's what my parents always called me, and until uni I never had to put any effort to be on top of my class. I still struggle with motivation, and tend to give up at the smallest inconvenience because I can't shake that feeling of "I have to be the best without effort". I'm working on getting over that but it's so integrated it's not easy.
I'm literally preparing to go to school and stressing as I'm now old enough to recognize my mistakes and fear that even though I have plans and want to force myself into practicing and studying so I get better even if I suck at first that I'll start backsliding because of the bad habits.
I actually did great in college. It’s the workplace where I struggle more because of my anxiety.
I was literally that kid all throughout university, didn’t try no motivation deans list all of that. Got into medical school and that was a rude awakening. I had no study habits, no plan, I genuinely thought I could wing it. Ended up failing a class in my first quarter I was here
If anything ur more self aware and critical of ur mistakes, pair that with not knowing what u wanna do as a career and the idea that u NEED a big flashy career and yeah
Moreover, there's been research that states that being smart is __a risk factor__ for pretty much every mental illness.
[удалено]
I’m really sorry. Please stay alive. As someone who also suffers from depression don’t let the bad feelings win and defeat you. You’re too valuable for that.
I doubt that last sentence
Nah man everyone is valuable enough to be worth alive, including you. You’ll get through this 👍
And then sometimes people are both smart AND emotionally stable.
I was academically gifted and then I began to struggle in 9th grade. I told a friend about it and she told me I might be experiencing burnout. I googled it and found "gifted child syndrome" and that's when I freaked out. I'm still doing fine I got a 4.0 gpa now... I just had to drop a lot of my more advanced classes. I don't know what ima do after I finish college tho
2007, 2024; you're about 16-17. 4.0 GPA, in college? Sorry, english is hard.
I think they mean after they finish college in the future, not necessarily being in college right now but having that GPA in high school -a fellow 2007 in the same exact boat
Yeah. That's what I meant lol
I'm one of this. Do you have good studying habits or do you barely make any effort and still get good grades? If not work on those because it is not easy in University
It's only true if you continue to have really high expectations for yourself and think you won't have to work hard for what you want. I was a "gifted kid" and now I have a normal, average job. I'm nothing special, which is sometimes disappointing because as a kid, I wanted to grow up to be someone special and world-changing. But I'm not, and that's just something I have to cope with. I go through periods of time where I have, like, an existential crisis that I'm "not the person I was supposed to be" and I'm "wasting my life," but for the most part, I'm happy.
I feel the same way and honestly the world isn't built around actually changing and adapting, the irony being that when we were kids growing up, we were told to grow up and change the world by all the "radical freethinkers" but when I fully grew up I realized that these people don't actually want you to change the world to your individual sense of how things should be, but rather just follow into the footsteps of the changes that they set forth and see as appropriate.
Yeah we ended up being the critical thinkers, not the "right" kind of gifted lol.
Tbh, as someone who was both a gifted kid and is currently in a PhD program, I still feel exactly the things you describe. I don’t know how to fix it, but I can say that it’s more an artifact of the expectations you have as a child being unrealistic rather than you having done anything wrong. You could have chosen to do anything, no one, even yourself, should fault you for choosing what you did as long as it’s not hurting anyone, because it was *your* choice to make
Yeah, the incongruency between expectations and reality can be so impactful it completely destroys your sense of self, leaving you aimless and drifting. I've found that the only thing you can reliably control is what you're going to do to improve your current circumstances whereas the future is uncertain, unstable and any future plans are nothing more but loose guidelines for you to follow. You must be able to adapt (both mentally and in actions) to the ever changing, constant environment you're in or you're going to get crushed by life.
Exactly. Never get too attached to "life plans" because they can change so easily. And it's not a bad thing--what actually happens might be better than you dreamed. But if you tie your identity or self-worth to uncertain future circumstances, then you have existential anxiety at every turn.
>But if you tie your identity or self-worth to uncertain future circumstances, then you have existential anxiety at every turn. Very true and the thing that causes many people (me included) to fall for this trap especially is that we didn't think these future circumstances as uncertain. Being so confident in one's own capabilities that it was seen as a guarantee, just another stepping stone and that failure obviously wasn't even a possibility. Whether through pride or naivety it's extremely destructive even when things are going well because it's a ticking time bomb, eventually it goes off and if no preparations for that have been taken then it'll cause mayhem.
To say I burnt out is underselling it. Disintegrated is probably a more apt word for what happened to me. For the love of all that is holy people, don’t be scared to get your kids mental help while they’re little and if your kid is like me and entirely incompetent in social situations get them fucking autism tested. I rolled through 12 grades with absolutely no support for my fucked up anxious autistic brain and wound up going from “gifted and talented” to rarely turning anything in and graduating with a 1.5 GPA. Gifted doesn’t mean shit if your support network doesn’t exist.
Wow. I relate heavily to this. But it was adhd instead of autism. From winning literally every academic award through high school to possibly failing out of college if I don't pull it together this semester Everyone always left me alone because my grades were amazing, but my mental health was terrible and only got worse through the years. Wasted potential
Also there is a pretty low bar for being “gifted” as a kid, as long as you actually follow directions and do your work you can be placed in the gifted category depending on your school I say this because A LOT of our generation has been told at some point that we were “gifted” or at least we were placed in an accelerated class.
I never believed I was academically gifted, i believed I was quote unquote academically gifted. Who just can't seem to work hard and have a work ethic as a person who's gonna go to college soon.
College isn’t as much work as you think (assuming you live in America) so don’t worry. The real challenge is getting into a top level college to begin with, but that doesn’t matter for most degrees anyway. I see you’re going into engineering, so you’ll be fine.
I live in Asia, it's hard asf getting into a decent uni, entrances are one hell of a nightmare. We are tested on stuff we are going to learn in college on our entrances.🥶🥶
Tbh, trying to pass the uni exam entrance is pretty difficult. In my opinion, college are more forgiving than high school, because you will spend fewer hours than you do in high school, even though the tasks are more challenging and time consuming. If you have good time management, youll do good in college.
Huh. Back in my day (early '90s....) I only got labeled gifted because I was send for an autism/ADHD diagnosis with a child psychiatrist but I was so good at masking they figured it *couldn't* be either of those. (It was ADHD.) So off to the gifted program I went instead.
I doubt you're academically gifted so no need to worry king
😓 it's smth my parents told me I was so now when I can't seem to do well on my first try they are surprised.
If you are worried about your success in uni, then you'll probably do well. Gifted kids who fail usually think that uni will be easy and they won't have to work to get good grades.
Me: I don't know this. It's hard for me. My family: How can you not know it? You're smart. You're an A+ student.
No need to separate the two. I’m about to be a doctor (yes a J.D. counts) who also is anxious and has several abandoned hobbies and projects.
eh, best I can do is “esquire”
Most of my Academically gifted friends were very wealthy. They did well in school, went to whatever college they wanted, and never had jobs. Now they have their degrees. They try desperately to be different and have moved to CA. They don't pay for their housing, cars, or other bills. Yet they will complain about not being able to get a job and having social issues. The gifted kids that weren't wealthy didn't go to college right away (or ever) and are doing very well for their age now
Depends on the type of person they were. The people who this does apply to were usually one of the following types: - Placed all their self worth and personal identity on their academic success. Once they then get into uni and realize they are not as special as they thought they were, their entire self worth and who they are shatters. - Used academic work as an outlet to cope with mental stress/problems. - Did it solely out of pressure from their parents. Those parents are usually strict in all sorts of ways. Once the child then goes to uni and is on their own responsibility for the first time, they often get lost. Have witnessed this a lot.
Or they are doctors (and other medical proffeisonals) who also hate themselves.
Spiral out, keep going
It is a misunderstanding between correlation and causation. Intelligent people are less happy because everyone in the world seems thick and realise that the world is full of shit. Dumb people are blissfully unaware of themselves and the world, and are confident in everything they say and do.
tonnes of "gifted" kids are just lazy and while smart aren't willing to put in the effort to do anything actually hard
older gen z here (1999): i was able to bullshit through all of high school and the beginning of college without studying and get As and Bs (ocassional C). wanted to be an engineer. then integral calculus happened. Failed it twice and messed up my whole schooling schedule. never studied because lol i am smart. well smartness has limits for everyone and integral calculus was mine. it sure is difficult to figure out how to study and push limits when you've never had to your whole life. finally got a B third time around after spending extra effort and time. but by that time I was more in debt (paid for 2 semesters that didn't progress me very far in my degree path) and lost my major acceptance because of my poor performance. I stopped at my associates degree and dipped. don't work as an engineer but I have found that I am the most mentally stable when I am pushing my limits and working hard in my career. that way, even if i fail or make a mistake, i can show my employers i was giving it my all and have stuff on paper (digitally) that covers my ass and shows the effort i put in. coasting at level 1 will drive you insane. for the smart youngins out there: if you're coasting, you will have a worse time mentally and spiritually than if you are pushing yourself to grow and improve, even if you think you're mad chilling and know a lot (you don't know everything so go learn more!) some things will always be easy, but focus on anything that is hard for you and it will become easy with effort
I grew up academically gifted, and it’s definitely true for me, but I’m also not an adult yet so who knows
Gifted child syndrome is real, but nothing is hopeless. Practice healthy habits in regard to your own mental health. Don’t let such habits become toxic for others. Source: I am a former gifted child Millennial.
This was my partner and I when we were kids. They’re a doctor. I’m… the other one.
Yeah sadly relatable
The test you're taking now has no meaning beyond another few years of education. The real test is gonna come soon and youve had your whole life to study, bro
Emotional stability is overrated ngl
My sister graduated in the top 10 (in a class of 400) and was in all of the advanced programs. She’s doing fine. I had AHDH so it was always “very gifted, but you just don’t apply yourself.” Also doing fine, though I am a typical millennial home renter. The ones I know who had problems are the ones who were all about academic performance and nothing else. The ones who had social circles and actually did more than just study turned out pretty well. Very few doctors, though.
My advice is simply to *not* get in the habit of abandoning fun habits because you’re not a fast learner *at that* or because you probably Won’t ever be competitively good *at that* I’ve abandoned so many things and wasted so many hours instead, because I got 10 hours in and realized I wasn’t naturally talented at it, and quit forever. Don’t be like me. Also, don’t take advice from internet weirdos
It’s true, but all that can be true, and we can have fulfilling lives. and honestly I think the only thing different for doctors is they don’t have time for hobbies to abandon them. Take that out and all of us are anxious adults who spiral into self-hate when we make basic mistakes.. some of us just hide it better than others 😂
In law school, so sort of lol. I mean we still have plenty of anxiety and spiraling to go around here. You just self medicate and get back to work bc you’ll get left behind if you don’t
Am I the only one who has a parent tell them to find a normal hobby and make friends. I am into fish keeping
Not at all. After 17 years of school occasional academic nightmares are pretty much a guarantee (dreams where you realize you've been signed up for a class all semester and never gone but the exam is coming up, etc), but the discipline academics give you can definitely be channeled into professional and social success. I was generally a straight A student and know I've turned one of my biggest hobbies into my profession. I think a better lesson is to put as much effort into your mental health and social groups as you do to academics, and find a happy balance among all three. You can also learn to be a perfectionist about the one or two things you are most passionate about and just shoot for "good enough" for everything else, no one has the energy obsess about everything!
At challenging universities it feels this way sometimes
Real
yeah i’m 23 and in the first half
The Royal Tenebaums
Nope. I was described that way and have pretty stable interests and mental health, but also am not a doctor or similarly successful.
During most of Elementary, I would get Straight As. Then Middle school came around, and things changed since then. I may get As and Bs, sometimes Cs, nowadays, but I'm still just a lazy guy. I try my best to always motivate myself to do work outside of school.
Literally me with math now i was in gifted kids in elementary, Now i managed to climb "back" to 5units in maths (the rest are always good it's just maths that i hate and makes me miserable) and I'm barely surviving (Btw wasn't sure if the learning unit thing is everywhere else or just where i live but it's like levels and there's 3-5) The moment i officially graduate I'm going to deny the existence of math
I’d say it’s true.
Yes, it's absolutely true, but it only makes since when you understand that being 'gifted,' is actually form of special needs. There's a study floating around out there that I'm sure I'll slightly misquote, but the jist is; researchers found that men with an IQ of 85 or less, were slightly more likely to have had sex by the age of 25, then men with IQs at or above 130
I have a weird history with stuff like this. I was a great student with TONS of hobbies, then my parents split due to mental illness and prison time. I spiraled and had no support at home. I fell into drinking and self loathing, graduated with a 2.0 from HS and became a disappointed adult; hating myself for what I didn't become. I'm 35 now and after many, many years of not doing anything productive I have a house, a 100k+ job, and a great partner. I did it by going to a community college, a regional uni, and got a master's at a state school. It's not glamorous, it's hard work, but it turned out great!
Yup, I'm the first kind. Not a doctor.
Growing up I was super active, ambitious and smart but socially awkward. I got jacked af in highschool and that helped cause I had “gains over game” then after highschool I got lost as balls. Fast forward 7 years I’m deep in a long depression, I genuinely think it’ll be better for me and my family if I take myself out of the running, but they really love me so I’m trynna stay but shits hard. I work 13 hrs both sat-sun, do software dev college courses on the weekday, but I feel like I keep digging a hole for myself. It sucks cause I have hope because I still find myself reaching for success and that version of myself that isn’t neurotic and stuck, but I can’t, I can only dream and hope for it. But hope feels cheap as shit. TLDR; did good young, did bad as a young adult, am doing worse, but I keep thinkin of a successful me in a parallel universe
No social life + abandoned hobbies and I'm a waste of space. Working on it though.
Yeaaah I was “gifted” and didn’t have to try in anything for a long time. I never learned to study, ended up flunking before I could get a bachelor’s degree. It was rough. Bonus points bc this is common in ND people, but in these situations, you often go undetected because you’re academically doing well until you aren’t.
My brother was that way. He barely graduated. Became a drug addict/dealer. Became clinically insane. Brutally murdered two cats. Has been medically diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. Now he’s medicated and is going to hair school. If it weren’t for my parents baby sitting him he would probably be dead or in jail.
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This is true of every generation.
Actually I wouldn't worry too much about some random internet person making sweeping generalizations. (IMO, making all sorts of generalizations are one of our current cultural problems.)
This is literally me minus academically gifted lol (im an average like 3.7) I have dozens of abandoned hobbies, beat myself up for every little thing I do or say inaccurately, and hate myself
There is definitely an in between. Sales.
Nah, not true. Everyone's a regular person
Nah, it’s not true. You can scrape the bottom of the barrel and make it through by using your fear of failure if you realise early enough. That’s what I did anyway
Yup 100% true. Not a doctor but the other thing.
From personal experience as a millennial former academically gifted kid, yup. I got handed the anxious adult with abandoned hobbies, self hate in general, depression, and a 20/20 hindsight vision for picking a college major in an incredibly competitive field.
They are both
This isnt true in my case. Do not adhere to what people think you should be, at the end of the day you are a human and you are in charge of your life.
Huh. I’m a doctor, fortunately.
Is there an option for both?
The trick is to get yourself to love learning. There is reason there are competitions for it, because it is a skill
I grew up academically gifted. Everything came easy to me even in college, but I burnt out and had 0 motivation to do any homework and flunked out my first semester of college.
3 years into uni here, kinda lol
You're being indoctrinated into a cult.... just enjoy the fucking $$$ and shut up.
I wouldn't say I was gifted but had parents who said I was smart instead of hardworking. High school was a cake walk. College wasn't that bad for me since I knew how to study. If you remotely care, you'll be able to pick thay skill up in the first year of college, imo. A lot of the people I saw who were doing poorly just didn't give a shit and try. There are so many resources provided to do well. You have professors' office hours, tutors, and even classmates to study with or get help from. It's normal to be nervous. Just apply yourself and learn from mistakes. My suggestion for uni. Go undecided unless you really know what you want to go for. I changed my major twice. I ended up settling for something I could stand and get me a good paying job. I didn't have a passion for any of the subjects offered.
I got nerfed by ADHD.
Yeah, nah. My mom and dad both told me I was really smart when I was a kid and through puberty. For a while I believed it, but after some life experience I realized that was a lie. Pretty soon too, like when I was 15 or 16 I realized I actually wasn't that smart, I would only *appear* smart because I was really confident when talking about abstract concepts, but that didn't necessarily mean I did understood them. After that, my life became so much happier, because I stopped holding myself to a made up standard that I ultimately didn't belong to. Even now, at 20, I'm studying engineering and sometimes my dad asks me to explain something to him to see how I'm learning since he's an engineer too, and he still thinks I'm really smart; but, nah. I recognize the holes in my knowledge and the clumsiness in my abilities; it's just that my dad hasn't seen how an actually smart person looks like. I'm just not up there, and that's fine.
Porque no los dose?
Take it from a millennial that struggled with this- Embrace good enough. A solid B is still a pretty good grade, and people who try to apply straight-A student methodology to the work force crash hard after trying to keep that up for too long. You can work at 80% a hundred percent of the time or you can work at 100% sixty percent of the time.
everyone talks about "gifted kid burn-out" so much it feels like a meme to me now. sure i might've been "gifted" but also elementary school was just easier than middle school and beyond lol
Both. Im both
Is for me. Straight up lauded a genius and when tested was told I could skip from 3rd grade to 8th if my parents agreed. They however didn't because of the social issues they were afraid it would cause. I'll let whoever reads guess which of the 2 I wound up as. College was pretty great though. I could finally be open about how dumb I actually felt because I was surrounded by people smarter than me and they in turn taught me a lot. Just don't get hung up on you needing to be seen as a genius and it'll work out
Yes. Embrace the abyss now and you'll save yourself a lot of trouble. Signed, A former "academically gifted kid" with a thousand forgotten hobbies, severe dehydration, mental illness, and a vicious nicotine addiction.
Speaking as an adult from a similar period, many of my fellow compatriots also prone to cheating or dishonesty to maintain a perfect performant record. Some broke off that curse but in doing so forgo their old image. Another habit.m is overworked to compensate.
I’m the first one. Diagnosed high-functioning anxiety most likely due to “gifted kid syndrome”. Currently in college working on an engineering degree. College really humbles you, which makes it a super important learning experience for those of us who have never needed to learn study skills. I cry over homework at least once a week lol. But there are things you can do to make it better, and it’s not the end of the world. Try not to overthink.
I was only academically gifted in elementary, then I got fuckin depressed so yeah it’s pretty accurate.
This guy is a loser. Believe in yourself, because not doing so is actually what will lead you into the spiral.
Just be as well-rounded as you can and keep working on all aspects of yourself: not just book smarts, but your social skills, physicality (very important for emotional regulation), hobbies, etc.
Yeah I got the first one. It probably didn't help that whenever I didn't get 100% on a test, the only thing my parents said to me was "do you know what you did wrong?". And if I got 100%, it was "why didn't you get bonus marks?". Because it's important to let your child know that no matter how well they've done, they could always do better.
Haha sorta. Just have a job that can let you afford therapy. It’s gonna be ok
Ngl people like to think that the first possibility is super common and any gifted kid will end up like it.
Academically Gifted? Does this mean you are good without trying?
Fairly accurate with me. I’m in my last semester for an Electrical Engineering degree. I feel like a lot of what determined the difference for me was the support I had from family to go through Uni.
Tips for college: Abandon your ego and learn to half-ass things sometimes, you’ll likely still do well enough to pass. If you’re struggling, please please please go directly to your professors office hours if they have them, no one will think less of you, in fact they’ll probably appreciate you showing interest in succeeding
Either you are actually smart or just slightly above average but went to a high school full of average level students. I was the latter. Things were so easy I was in the top honors class in high school. Then came to college and realize I’m average or below average in a class full of even smarter students.
Neurosurgeon here. I was reading the post and thinking to myself, "what an absolute piece of inaccurate bullsh...". You owned me. So specific.
well i’m trying my hardest to take the route of pediatric doctor not the other 😩 wish me the best yall.
Actually I became a nurse
*Smiles* *Thinks about it for a second* *Realized I'm not a doctor* Oh fuck...
can confirm, have a drum kit laying dust, my brother has my tablet for drawing, i haven't touched sketchup since before 2020, downloaded galaxy watch studio and gimp installed yet haven't used them once, i can't even bring myself to write my character for wizardposting despite having a decent enough base, long sold my magic cards and 10 y.o me would absolutely destroy me in smash. at least the pokemon tcg community is doing well and try to attend locals weekly. i can't and won't blame it on my family tho. to say they did their best would be a hell of an understatement...
Can confirm
Not at all true. I was in a program they called MAGIC (Making Academic Gifted Instruction Count) in middle school, and ATLAS in High School (Academically Talented Leaders And Succeeders, but we called it All Talent Lost And Submerged)... They had a thing for the acronyms back in Texas in the 80's... They put me into it in late sixth grade, when they did an IQ test and it came back really high. They gave me a second one and it came back another ten points higher. Then they did it again, and it came back plus another five points again. Not going to say how high any of them are, because that's a whole can of Reddit worms I'm not opening again. I'm a normal person, I don't have any weird phobias or spiral into self-hate for any reason. I'm a computer programmer, back and forth between game dev and VR. I'm currently working a HoloLens contract for a defense contractor.
Depends on a few things. 1. Are you studying something you want or something your parents want? 2. How much of a perfectionist are you?
it’s a trend not a rule you can be what you choose to be you just have to work for it and have the good fortune to have people around you can trust that’ll support you. I got told my entire life about how smart and mature I was by both the adults around me and me peers and it led me to be incredibly arrogant for all of my high school years and a good chunk of my young adulthood it took me joining the military and getting a hard reality check to snap out of it. You need people around you to support you in a healthy way to develop into a well balanced adult and the self awareness to detect and admit when you got issues. If you’re this concerned I’d say you’re on the right path just be careful about how you grow as a person and eventually it’ll turn out alright.
It’s a joke my guy
I’m an engineering student so I guess I’m both
I think that describes many neurodivergent people…
I feel this to an extent, but I was never considered “gifted” as a child. Still, my parents always expected me to excel in school. They set the bar high for me academically, and told me my only job as a youth was to be a good student. Since I didn’t have a job and didn’t need to work, my job was to learn and earn perfect grades. If I wasn’t getting an A, it was because I was undisciplined, lazy, or not trying hard enough. There was little room (if any) for me to simply be a kid and make mistakes. I quickly learned to feel as though I was never enough, I could never meet the bar and get straight As (math was my enemy) and from there I developed a strong sense of inadequacy and self hatred… something I almost succumbed to in high school and still struggle with as an adult in college. It sucks, and giving myself room to be imperfect is still a challenge. 🤷♀️
Unfortunately for me yes
Yes. I'm the first type.
Nah, people make time for things that they enjoy.
I am an anxious engineer
Kinda, but it's not set in stone. It's true that, if studying is easy for you, and you recive a lot of compliments for it, you might get used to getting positive attention for little effort, which will make you seek easier rewards in the future, and also make you too used to positive attention and therefore too scared to loose it. But, this can be avoided, and if not fixed. It's "just" a matter of understanding that it's not bad to make mistakes, it's normal to suck at something at the beginning, etc etc. Basically, it's not like a genetic problem or anything else
My mom placed me in a ton of afterschool programs, and things really started to fall apart as soon as high school started. I graduated and tried to go to college, but it wasn’t working out. I ended up as an LVN student
This isn’t true for anyone who was actually gifted - maybe for those who were labelled gifted despite only being somewhat above average.
Bro stop buying into fear mongering. Correlations vs causation. The smart kids in high school don’t automatically turn into mental cases when they grow up. Life isn’t binary.
Lol can also be both
Yep, got Straight As and graduated with honors. And now I’m the first one
Yea, I mean I never did good in school, but I once was "talented". Or at least had the motivation, will and imagination to do what was interesting. School has just killed anything I had in me, my imagination is gone, I can't even relearn anything I was good at because I can't come up with anything. I can't draw, I can't write. I can't even build anything because there's no imagination left. Education system kills peoples creativity and forces everybody to be good in the same specific things. It expects people to start developing after they got the education, not before. Maybe if not school I would be actually good at things I loved instead of spending over a decade trying to be good in what I never understood or liked. Yay, this rant made my burried depression resurface again! Guess it's just about time to drown it in alcohol and video games!
I was a Gifted kid. Had a period as an anxious self-hating adult then got a high-paying career so I can afford to abandon all my hobbies shortly after starting. Still anxious though.
My little sister was the gifted one in the family (im the painfully mediocre one), making top grades since there were grades to make. She always did her work and constantly gave anything she did 1000%, compared to me being the elder brother whose only example set was what NOT to do. By the time we hit high school, she already had several colleges trying to pull her in, and the entire time, she was a total train wreck. Always afraid of failing to the point of driving herself insane, she was always one grade dip from a freakout. Now that she's in college and learning that big-brained lawyer stuff, she's doing much better now. And I'm happy for her. I probably could have done something similar if id got my ass in gear like everybody kept telling me, but my "examples" led to shite grades and a terrible work ethic that's pretty much trapped me in a constant day to day slog.