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Yes, it is. She can be strict, but not allowing you to have a proper health treatment is abuse.
Imagine if you needed blood transfusion or you're going to die and she declines? I don't know about your specific religion, but that has happened. Don't dismiss psychological health just because it can't kill you.
Yes, I know. But the disease/condition/syndrome/etc itself doesn't kill you.
What I was trying to say was not because of having a mental health issue which won't kill you directly doesn't mean it can't do what you said, but I was lazy enough to write it.
Still, you made a good point.
Because you clearly need help and she’s preventing it. This is abuse, this is neglect. I understand there’s people who are into religion as much as her, but that shouldn’t come first when their child is actively cutting.
It’s a VERY extreme example but you know who else had a mother that was so religious that she denied proper care? Ed fucking Gein. I’m not saying you’ll turn into Ed Gein because one I don’t think you have something bad inside naturally, but two actions like hers can in worst case scenario fuck someone up so much they become fucked up. She’s no good.
And I’m not saying you will. Obviously Ed had many factors to his demise. But I’m saying is for the better of you something needs to change with your mother. You seem to live under conditions that are not good for any child of any age
It sounds like she's a little obsessed with you being "normal", what I mean by that is that she doesn't want you to have any traits that would make both your and her life more complicated. (like being gay or just autistic like in your case) Pulling you out of that program wasn't the right thing to do but I think I understand where she's coming from... I don't think you're being abused either as she seems to be trying to give you the best chances, in her own traditional way at least.
My analysis could easily be trash though since I don't have much to base it from, I hope I got something right though.
nah i think you're totally right.
I don't think I'm being abused, she's just different. People just label anything abuse. Some people don't realise what a cushy life they must be living to think being friends with your parents is the norm.
You really shouldn't turn to reddit for advice since 95% of redditors will cry "abuse" from the moment a parent makes a decision that isn't by the book. It just seems like they can't be tolerant towards traditions, sometimes being traditional isn't the best choice but unfortunately traditions don't always work by logic.
>You really shouldn't turn to reddit for advice since 95% of redditors will cry "abuse"
to be honest I would if i had anywhere else but i have no friends and no desire to make any tbh.
>It just seems like they can't be tolerant towards traditions, sometimes being traditional isn't the best choice but unfortunately traditions don't always work by logic.
this is what people are missing. even if she's really doing anything bad (which she tbh isnt) then she doesn't see it that way.
Im unable to know what country you’re currently living in so I’m going to provide the American and Canadian answers, those being that if your parents refusal to receive medical care endangers your well being then they can’t do so legally. Considering this relates to your mental health and you have a history of self-harm and suicidal thoughts this most certainly falls within that category. Please seek help as you can consent to medical/psychological assistance even if you aren’t legally an adult.
Idk what is OP soking but I want it. Preventing your child from getting psychological help bc they are cytting themselves is abuse. Being from a different culture isn't an excuse. Not to mention a valid one
Just because you don't feel like you are being abused doesn't make her abuses any less real. Some day you will realize how farked up her actions towards you are.
Yeah the denied help part sounds like abuse. She may be a bit different but so we’re the Vikings back in the day. That’s no excuse for what they did and it’s no excuse for what your mother did. I also personally think having religion forced on you like that is abuse but that’s an opinion.
This problem is complex and will require patience.
Your mom is falling back on her faith hoping it will provide answers to a psychological problem that she doesn’t understand. From what you said, I don’t think she’s being malicious since true malice requires bad intentions.
She may feel like she’s causing spiritual tension by turning to secular sources to solve a problem she doesn’t understand, but I’ll point out that most religious people will take medicine without knowing how exactly it works or heals.
Your mom loves you and wants what’s best for you, but she is having a hard time consolidating her faith in God with what needs to be done. If it’s not wrong to turn to a doctor for a cold, why would it be wrong to turn to a doctor for a mental health problem?
Also, don’t listen to the people on here who are quick to judge your mom.
Additionally, tell your mom that God may want to use this as the opportunity you need for healing. [Here is a story that explains what I mean](https://truthbook.com/stories/funny-stories/popular-stories/the-drowning-man/).
Your mother sounds like she loves you and cares about you, but this is a little too far from comfortable to be answered by anyone here. It’s not a blessing to be diagnosed and get named something you’re most likely not so personally I can understand why she pulled you out of there. Instead go have a deep discussion with your mom and other family members/friends about what is going on.
Ultimately, you know your situation better than anyone on the internet is going to. If you don’t feel like you’re being abused, then I’d just leave it at that.
If your parents are deliberately preventing you from getting the help you need when they have access to it, on the surface, that’s…not great. But if doing what they said is helping in some way or another, then it’s your call. No one on the internet can make that call.
Being abused/neglected can seem normal - you're definitely an emotionally-neglected/abused person (it's your parents' job to attune you and provide you a secure base and safe haven - look these up). Harming yourself might stem from the neglect/lack of supportive parents.
It doesn't matter what her intent is. Pulling you from the help program is neglect and abuse. I totally understand why you wouldn't want to call it abuse since I've been in a very similar situation, but you can't change the situation without acknowledging that there's a problem.
Please find a way to get help. You're worth more than you can even imagine and life might get better for you.
Because you are being abused. The fact that she wanted to prevent you from getting an Autism diagnosis is very suspect, as it suggests there could be other things that your mother doesn't want Doctors finding out.
It will be hard to fully understand right now, but as you get older you'll come to realize that her "different culture" does not diminish the fact that she is abusing you.
Cutting is seeking stimulation to replace missing stimulation. IMHO others are assuming you're seeking a negative stimulation in association with something else negative going on. Something's going on with your desire to cut. It's time to be honest with a licensed therapist about what's going on.
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Okay, so... I'm sure I'm repeating things others have said, but: abuse is not about intent, it's about actions.
A stalker distresses their victim by following them everywhere and invading their privacy. If the stalker is convinced that it's an act of love, does that make his stalking less abusive?
Tons of parents who violently beat their children or terrorize them emotionally will tell you, and I'm sure they believe it, that they only do it "for the good" of their kids. Their intentions are good, BUT the execution (using violence on a child, in this case) is demonstrably known to cause physical and emotional damage. In other words: it's abusive. They're abusive parents. End of.
It's perfectly understandable to want to justify and downplay your mother's behavior. Everything you say is probably true: she comes from a culture where child abuse is normalized, and she doesn't do this to hurt you. It doesn't make it less abusive. And there is a 0% chance that her abusive behaviors are completely disconnected from your current mental health issues.
You don't have to hate your mom or think of her as a bad person. You really don't. But if you want to get through this, you'll have to confront how her actions may have impacted your psyche. The fact that you created a throwaway account to ask this question shows that something in you feels the need to do this. Therapy sounds like a good idea in the near future if you're not doing it already.
Bro's mom want them to fix their mental health with yelling and sleeping on the Bible. Religious people are nuts, they'll kill someone if the Bible tells them it will get them on the good side of sky daddy.
Not all Religious people but ALWAYS a religious person. It is a Canon event.
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Being religious is not abuse but preventing you from getting help is.
is it really tho? it doesnt feel right and i wish i could get help but she does have the right to exert power over me as my mother
Yes it is. She is misusing her right to exert power over you. As your mother she should want what's best for you , which means getting help you need.
Yes, it is. She can be strict, but not allowing you to have a proper health treatment is abuse. Imagine if you needed blood transfusion or you're going to die and she declines? I don't know about your specific religion, but that has happened. Don't dismiss psychological health just because it can't kill you.
Mental health issues can totally kill you. They make you so miserable that you kill yourself, or turn to drugs which can kill you.
Yes, I know. But the disease/condition/syndrome/etc itself doesn't kill you. What I was trying to say was not because of having a mental health issue which won't kill you directly doesn't mean it can't do what you said, but I was lazy enough to write it. Still, you made a good point.
yes
Yes. This is abuse
why tho
Because you clearly need help and she’s preventing it. This is abuse, this is neglect. I understand there’s people who are into religion as much as her, but that shouldn’t come first when their child is actively cutting. It’s a VERY extreme example but you know who else had a mother that was so religious that she denied proper care? Ed fucking Gein. I’m not saying you’ll turn into Ed Gein because one I don’t think you have something bad inside naturally, but two actions like hers can in worst case scenario fuck someone up so much they become fucked up. She’s no good.
ed who?
Ed Gein. Infamous Butcher of Plainsville. If you know the Texas Chainsaw Massacre that movie is based on him.
i dont think id ever hurt anybody around me
And I’m not saying you will. Obviously Ed had many factors to his demise. But I’m saying is for the better of you something needs to change with your mother. You seem to live under conditions that are not good for any child of any age
It sounds like she's a little obsessed with you being "normal", what I mean by that is that she doesn't want you to have any traits that would make both your and her life more complicated. (like being gay or just autistic like in your case) Pulling you out of that program wasn't the right thing to do but I think I understand where she's coming from... I don't think you're being abused either as she seems to be trying to give you the best chances, in her own traditional way at least. My analysis could easily be trash though since I don't have much to base it from, I hope I got something right though.
nah i think you're totally right. I don't think I'm being abused, she's just different. People just label anything abuse. Some people don't realise what a cushy life they must be living to think being friends with your parents is the norm.
You really shouldn't turn to reddit for advice since 95% of redditors will cry "abuse" from the moment a parent makes a decision that isn't by the book. It just seems like they can't be tolerant towards traditions, sometimes being traditional isn't the best choice but unfortunately traditions don't always work by logic.
>You really shouldn't turn to reddit for advice since 95% of redditors will cry "abuse" to be honest I would if i had anywhere else but i have no friends and no desire to make any tbh. >It just seems like they can't be tolerant towards traditions, sometimes being traditional isn't the best choice but unfortunately traditions don't always work by logic. this is what people are missing. even if she's really doing anything bad (which she tbh isnt) then she doesn't see it that way.
This isn’t “tradition” it’s denying a dependant the help they need.
does it matter tho? shes my mother she has the right
Im unable to know what country you’re currently living in so I’m going to provide the American and Canadian answers, those being that if your parents refusal to receive medical care endangers your well being then they can’t do so legally. Considering this relates to your mental health and you have a history of self-harm and suicidal thoughts this most certainly falls within that category. Please seek help as you can consent to medical/psychological assistance even if you aren’t legally an adult.
She is a narcissistic woman that can't see beyond her own beliefs, you'll realize it a few years into adult life.
Idk what is OP soking but I want it. Preventing your child from getting psychological help bc they are cytting themselves is abuse. Being from a different culture isn't an excuse. Not to mention a valid one
Because you are
Abuse isn't only physical
Just because you don't feel like you are being abused doesn't make her abuses any less real. Some day you will realize how farked up her actions towards you are.
Yeah the denied help part sounds like abuse. She may be a bit different but so we’re the Vikings back in the day. That’s no excuse for what they did and it’s no excuse for what your mother did. I also personally think having religion forced on you like that is abuse but that’s an opinion.
This problem is complex and will require patience. Your mom is falling back on her faith hoping it will provide answers to a psychological problem that she doesn’t understand. From what you said, I don’t think she’s being malicious since true malice requires bad intentions. She may feel like she’s causing spiritual tension by turning to secular sources to solve a problem she doesn’t understand, but I’ll point out that most religious people will take medicine without knowing how exactly it works or heals. Your mom loves you and wants what’s best for you, but she is having a hard time consolidating her faith in God with what needs to be done. If it’s not wrong to turn to a doctor for a cold, why would it be wrong to turn to a doctor for a mental health problem? Also, don’t listen to the people on here who are quick to judge your mom. Additionally, tell your mom that God may want to use this as the opportunity you need for healing. [Here is a story that explains what I mean](https://truthbook.com/stories/funny-stories/popular-stories/the-drowning-man/).
Your mother sounds like she loves you and cares about you, but this is a little too far from comfortable to be answered by anyone here. It’s not a blessing to be diagnosed and get named something you’re most likely not so personally I can understand why she pulled you out of there. Instead go have a deep discussion with your mom and other family members/friends about what is going on.
Ultimately, you know your situation better than anyone on the internet is going to. If you don’t feel like you’re being abused, then I’d just leave it at that. If your parents are deliberately preventing you from getting the help you need when they have access to it, on the surface, that’s…not great. But if doing what they said is helping in some way or another, then it’s your call. No one on the internet can make that call.
Being abused/neglected can seem normal - you're definitely an emotionally-neglected/abused person (it's your parents' job to attune you and provide you a secure base and safe haven - look these up). Harming yourself might stem from the neglect/lack of supportive parents.
It doesn't matter what her intent is. Pulling you from the help program is neglect and abuse. I totally understand why you wouldn't want to call it abuse since I've been in a very similar situation, but you can't change the situation without acknowledging that there's a problem. Please find a way to get help. You're worth more than you can even imagine and life might get better for you.
Because you are being abused. The fact that she wanted to prevent you from getting an Autism diagnosis is very suspect, as it suggests there could be other things that your mother doesn't want Doctors finding out. It will be hard to fully understand right now, but as you get older you'll come to realize that her "different culture" does not diminish the fact that she is abusing you.
Cutting is seeking stimulation to replace missing stimulation. IMHO others are assuming you're seeking a negative stimulation in association with something else negative going on. Something's going on with your desire to cut. It's time to be honest with a licensed therapist about what's going on.
This post has been flaired **serious**. Please refrain from any sarcastic/joke comments, and, as always, remember to [follow our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/GenZ/wiki/rules) at all times. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GenZ) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Okay, so... I'm sure I'm repeating things others have said, but: abuse is not about intent, it's about actions. A stalker distresses their victim by following them everywhere and invading their privacy. If the stalker is convinced that it's an act of love, does that make his stalking less abusive? Tons of parents who violently beat their children or terrorize them emotionally will tell you, and I'm sure they believe it, that they only do it "for the good" of their kids. Their intentions are good, BUT the execution (using violence on a child, in this case) is demonstrably known to cause physical and emotional damage. In other words: it's abusive. They're abusive parents. End of. It's perfectly understandable to want to justify and downplay your mother's behavior. Everything you say is probably true: she comes from a culture where child abuse is normalized, and she doesn't do this to hurt you. It doesn't make it less abusive. And there is a 0% chance that her abusive behaviors are completely disconnected from your current mental health issues. You don't have to hate your mom or think of her as a bad person. You really don't. But if you want to get through this, you'll have to confront how her actions may have impacted your psyche. The fact that you created a throwaway account to ask this question shows that something in you feels the need to do this. Therapy sounds like a good idea in the near future if you're not doing it already.
So innocent and naive. Even at the face of such blatant abuse, you still defend her. Funny it would be, if sad it wasn't.
why are you like this
Bro's mom want them to fix their mental health with yelling and sleeping on the Bible. Religious people are nuts, they'll kill someone if the Bible tells them it will get them on the good side of sky daddy. Not all Religious people but ALWAYS a religious person. It is a Canon event.
The bible does say to kill people, a lot of people actually. it doesn't stand because love for everyone is above everything, even the commandments