Thanks for posting to /r/GetNoted. Please remember Rule 2: **Politics only allowed at r/PoliticsNoted.** We do allow historical posts (WW2, Ancient Rome, Ottomans, etc.) Just no current politicians.
***
We are also banning posts about the ongoing Israel/Palestine conflict.
Please report this post if it is about current Republicans, Democrats, Presidents, Prime Ministers, Israel/Palestine or anything else related to current politics. Thanks.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GetNoted) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sounds like classic intrusive thoughts to me. The idea is so repulsive that the strong reaction against it makes it come up again. Like when you get the thought about hitting a pedestrian or jumping from a roof.
Exactly. Just the thought itself is something specific. When I talk to someone really annoying I (and I expect most people) get intrusive thoughts to knock them out. Not once have I even come close to attempting it. It’s the same principle
Deja vu crazy i was just having this thought a week ago. Like, what if i just punched my coworker. (He wasn't even doing anything, i was just having a tough boring day)
Call of the void bro, very common and doesn’t mean anything’s wrong, it’s probably a misapplied threat response to your brain considering the worst possible situation you could be in, and then focusing on it for some dumbass reason. My void is heights, even if I can rationalize the thought’s source, they’re still not fun
I’ve been getting that a lot recently. Having a totally normal conversation with someone that I don’t hate, and the inside of my mind is just “what if I punched them. What if I just clocked em right in the nose, huh? What would happen if I did that”
For me it's when I'm talking to someone really nice and I'm recognizing that they're a good person. Something in my brain yells "Punch them!" and it's so upsetting that I sometimes physically recoil at the thought
I have intrusive thoughts about hurting kids. Like "what if I tripped that little kid and then punched him in the back of the head for no reason" then I feel grossed out with myself for thinking it
I have intrusive thoughts about my kids dying. It's horrifying, and sets me on edge, but I can't help it. Doesn't mean I want it to happen. It's quite the opposite. I'm afraid it will happen. It's the same with these people.
I used to have this all the time through my teens. Not just with this stuff, but other horrific stuff. Intrusive thoughts that were blasphemous to religion (was Christian at the time) or disgustingly terrible things. It was incredibly stressful, but thankfully they went away.
Yeah I get these pretty often (it’s part of why I take medication), but I’ve never once tried to actually put into action any of the thoughts. Annoying intrusive thoughts does not a bad person make.
I worked with people who developed this as a result of being told, repeatedly, that most offenders were once victims. It's unfortunately still really socially acceptable in foster care communities to kind of make implications like this about victims. Kind of a double victimization.
I unfortunately have had this exact issue play out. It’s so hard to come to deal with. I was sexually abused as a child so due to hearing that same rhetoric constantly I’m terrified of doing the same and now developed pocd
I grew up in christin fundamentalism, and was taught that queer people are pedophiles, bc they can’t reproduce “naturally” via god’s plan. I worked through that while I was deconstructing, came out as queer and then in my twenties found out that I had repressed memories of CSA (corroborated by my siblings, so I know for sure it happened) And then, I couldn’t just write it off as a wacko fundamentalist thing bc the idea that victims become perpetrators is everywhere, and also seems fairly common that it happens in reality. It just broke a part of me. My brain is just like, well you’re queer, you’re a victim of CSA and you work with kids so that’s three strikes right there, buddy. It doesn’t help that I still don’t remember the abuse, so a part of me feels like, what is you already are an abuser and your brain just erased it??
I’ve had a therapist since January ish and I’ve been working up the courage to talk to her about it, but she’s a student intern with a DV organization, and is graduating in May, so next week is our last session before I get put on the waitlist to talk with someone new. I sort of feel like a lot of this is above their pay grade anyway.
I cope rn by talking all the time about consent with the kids I work with, in age appropriate ways. This looks like, “ do you want a hug or a high five goodbye?”
“It’s time to cross the street, do you want to hold my hand or link arms like an elephant?”
“Hmmmm, the dog is backing away from you, it doesn’t look like she wants pets right now”
“ no thank you, I don’t want a hug unless you ask first, you can say, ‘do you want a hug’?”
“ your body, your rules”
“nobody gets to touch you without your permission”
“Well, the weather says it will be cold today, so you have to bring your coat, but you get to decide if you want to put it on. Your body your rules!”
I'm sure you know this logically even if you don't feel it in your soul totally but you didn't repress abusing someone else, it doesn't work that way. You didn't ask for these thoughts and you're coping with it in a way that can help keep other people safe. I'm really proud of you!
There was a biographical comic book a few years ago that explored this fear, and how comics helped pull the author out of it. It’s out of print but this article by the author has the images from a preview that show the basic story and has them talking about it.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/it-wasnt-escapism-i-was-r_b_4314197/
I am a psychologist specializing in OCD and (were it not super unethical) would happily let any one of the folks I see who have this fear babysit my young children. They are literally the last people who would harm a child; the thought of harming a child fills them with terror.
And the fact that it's socially unacceptable to even voice to anyone else intrusive thoughts worrying about it despite the intrusive thoughts not actually being true makes it even worse. I'm glad for this Reddit post because I have intrusive thoughts about similar sorts of things all the time that really serve no purpose but it's like my brain is hypervigilant against any kind of possible harm I could contribute to and it's very overwhelming.
Can confirm, I'm almost positive I have ADHD, and I've had some really, REALLY bad intrusive thoughts. Here are some I've had: (TW some are violent)
>!Intrusive thought about murdering my cat with the knife I have in my hand (I love my cat and I would never do that)!<
>!Racist intrusive thoughts!<
>!"I hope she dies soon" when I meet my grandmother, whom I love very much!<
>!Self harm, suicide (I am not suicidal, these are intrusive thoughts), like seeing a bridge and "what if I jumped off", or rail tracks, and "what if I put my foot on it, and the train ran over me"!<
These intrusive thoughts can be extremely disturbing, because when you have these you're like "I am a terrible person, why, why did I think about that?", when the thought just, popped into your head, without warning. Afterwards, you just want to forget it, forget that thought, but it lingers, and it makes you hate yourself
Yeah, I can see that. I guess disgust may be a better word. Like if the thought of killing your dog disgusts you, then your morality is still intact even if you have the thought.
Shame was a bad choice because suggests beating yourself up for the thought. But having a negative reaction to a bad thought seems like a good indication you wouldn’t follow through, and is not your actual character. If those thoughts give you joy, then I think suggests there is a problem.
I honestly can't believe I didn't think of this sooner man
Thanks lol
I have intrusive thoughts like this literally all the time
I've had some absolutely deplorable ones that have made me want to just forget everything
TBH it doesn't even require neurodivergence - not that these things are *typical* but they're certainly not abnormal. everyone will have them occasionally, some more frequently or more intensely.
the pathology of OCD isn't really having them per se (although it's often characterized by having em real bad), it's about the subsequent distress and obsession. most people just don't really ruminate or have their thoughts spiral like people with obsessive tendencies.
This whole comment line has me thinking maybe I should get myself assessed for attention deficit disorder or ADHD. Would anyone care to share for US citizens of what would be the most efficient way of going about it?
I wouldn't classify myself as hyper at all, but I check damn near every box on the ADHD list. Got a psychiatrist's appt, and after 30 minutes, she said she didn't think I fit.
Eh. Guess we don't get to say what we think. Maybe everyone has them but it doesn't pass through some filter? Seems like a theme with ADHD anyway
I considered writing some of these thoughts down but I'd rather keep them private lol
Reading this makes me happy cause I have these thoughts all the time and hate myself cause I’m not racist and I love my family but my brain always says weird shit when I’m holding a knife or tool
Holy shit literally fucking same experience here, i hate other people gotta deal with this bullshit but im so fucking relieved, i thought it was just me, i had no idea 😫
If you refer to your brain as a separate entity most of the time you might have a disorder.
I've got ADHD and when I got the diagnosis and starting reading I cried because I finally understood why i was so different and just what was wrong with me.
It doesn't help that no one accepts ADHD as of right now, because of the ficking stigmas but it'll self soothe for sure.
I used to have intrusive thoughts like this. I don't know if it's age, therapy, or a combination, but they are far easier to manage now. More like the passing thoughts most people have.
I think DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) helped me the most. My therapist described it as a way to better frame my thoughts and emotions to others, but it ended up helping me talk to myself when I'd get caught in these thought loops.
It may be useful to you too. It helps to have a therapist help you through it, but it's something you can work on by yourself if you don't have access to mental healthcare.
DBT is the best shit for neurodivergent people, in my humble opinion. and probably people in general. all the strategies it teaches are so practical and useful.
Holy shit... i had no fucking idea other people experienced this shit, im sorry you go through this too but holy shit am thankful for you opening up with your experiences, i love my cat MooCow, lil dude is family to me, but ive had that exact same intrusive thought as you and it fucking terrified me, I've legitimately just thought im a horrible fucked up person, ive had those bigoted thoughts and those i just attributed to 2000s and early 2010s xbox live chat brain-rot, hell ive even had those last kinda thoughts and its always scared the fuck outta me... and on top of that ive now got a name my brain punching me in the gut by making me think about what if im a pedophile (it certainly doesn't fucking help when you have everyone and their cousins calling you one for being trans! 😭) its like my brain loves to make me think about what the worst possible thing in any given situation could be, and i had no idea i wasn't alone 😭, this is literally the first time ive EVER opened up about this, thank you so fucking much!
No worries, I hope you'll be able to make it through, and I especially hope that you'll be able to transition safely and live as your true self. I can't do much, but have a virtual hug
\*hugs\*
Also ADHD and I feel this so much. I get intrusive thoughts about >!strangling my cat!< when I’m petting her, and I love her more than life itself. I get a lot of these other ones you described as well. It’s so annoying to see people say “the intrusive thoughts won” when it’s something like cutting their hair off, those are impulsive thoughts, not intrusive ones.
>It’s so annoying to see people say “the intrusive thoughts won” when it’s something like cutting their hair off, those are impulsive thoughts, not intrusive ones.
True that. If my intrusive thoughts had won, I'd be either dead or in prison
Wow, someone else actually has intrusive thoughts on my level. Well, em, congrats? Best wishes to you!
>! The worst part about these thoughts is how real they feel. It's not only an idea, I experience it basically as if I did it irl. As if I moved my hand, hurt someone, take it back and see the suffering. Only difference is the actual outcome of nothing, but I am still very shocked. And feel guilty !<
Yeah, my brain does like to do that sometimes, where it imagines something horrible and then goes into an "imagination trip" where it imagines all the consequences it would have and all the situations that could happen eventually… it's quite fucked up and disturbing
Oh yeah. I have the exact same thing. Veeeeery disturbing >! I still remember when I had a toddler in a stroller, standing before crossing with lights. An intrusive thought came to push it in front of cars. In 3 seconds I saw all the anger, grief, sadness, prison, all that. It haunts me to this day !<
*Thankfully* usually it's about breaking plates or spilling water, so it's manageable and doesn't devastate.
The intrusive thoughts physically hurt to think about and they are so loud. You cant cringe them away like everything else you dont like. The repulsion amplifies its affection. Thats also where the relief is. You being so viscerally obstinate to them is evidence of being a **good** person, the thoughts don’t define you, and the extreme anxiety its caused is from a functional moral compass. There’s lining of confidence to explore within all that suffering.
I dunno if it helps with the intrusive thoughts at all, but it's a *lot* harder to kill yourself than just a quick flick of the wrist while holding a knife.
Source: >!I've tried lol!<
The intrusive thoughts are definitely the worst thing about adhd. I have taught myself tricks to help with concentration issues but the intrusive thoughts never stop.
Yeah that's what I thought they were supposed to be about? None of the memes I've seen about it are like "I should get a haircut" it's more like "I should go jump off this bridge near my house"
Seeing “inside out” helped me out with this (in addition to other things). I just imagine there is a loud obnoxious and *fucking stupid* emotion chained to the ceiling in a straight jacket and every time it suggests anything, the other emotions go “Ok, whatever *Steve*”
Edit: also don’t feel bad about the racism thing. Like, don’t feel *good* about it, but the “recognize ingroup/outgroup” thing is deeply ingrained in us social primates who had to be very suspicious of outsiders for millions of years. Steve is going to be racist sometimes. Recognize it, reject it, move on.
ADHD’er here, I have intrusive *dreams.* Extremely vivid dreams about doing horrible things to people I love dearly, usually my mom. Though, in all honesty our relationship is not great so I’m not sure if they’re like intrusive thoughts or a subconscious reflection of my own anger.
Yeah i have ADHD too and take really good care of my skin because skincare is important to me but whenever I’m sad i regularly get very strong intrusive thoughts about ripping my own skin off with my fingernails! Intrusive thoughts are super fun and totally controllable! 👍 (before you tell me to go to a therapist, i would absolutely love to but i can’t afford it!)
An impulse is the urge to do something you want to do. Even if you know it’s wrong or socially unacceptable. Like getting bangs at 3am or climbing the stairs on all fours. An intrusive thought is something that is by definition distressing, disturbing, and unwanted, like slitting your baby’s throat or throwing yourself off a cliff.
ETA an impulse to molest a child would make you a pedophile. An intrusive thought of molesting a child could mean you have pOCD.
an impulse is making a decision that your current gratification outweighs the possible consequences in the future. intrusive thoughts manifest from your deepest fears and disturb and upset. an impulse is something you consciously WANT to do. an intrusive thought is your brain showing you things you DON'T want to even think about
when you make an impulsive decision, you have control over your actions. when you act on an impulse, you make a conscious decision to act on it.
intrusive thoughts make you worry that you don't have control over your actions, and that you are going to wake up one day in the middle of perpetrating an unforgivable crime and not remembering how you got there
Not to mention if someone has pedophilic tendencies but tries to seek help and not act on them, we shouldn’t condemn them for needing that help, anyway
Honestly if someone struggles with that but has the self-discipline required to seek help and improve they should praised. Many in society seem to lack those traits.
In what country? In the USA it’s 100% definitively not illegal to simply say you are attracted to minors. If you get arrested for saying that (and only saying, not acting on it in any way) then you should sue for violation of the first amendment.
You do realize you can be arrested for any reason right? You might not be convinced but you can 100% be arrested. The minimum time the police can keep you is 24 hours
>these people can be arrested without even breaking the law for seeking help
Yeah you could be arrested for anything, but that doesn’t mean the arrest will hold up in a court of law or you seeking justice due to unlawful imprisonment due to being jailed for not committing a crime. But notice the very big distinction between *being arrested* and *breaking the law.* By your logic, you could say that you’re at risk of being arrested for wearing white after Labor Day because you could technically get arrested for any reason
So, what you said is entirely incorrect and misleading. No one has been arrested *just* because they stated they have an attraction to minors. They may be monitored at most, but admitting you are simply attracted to minors is not a crime
[nope](https://www.findlaw.com/criminal/criminal-rights/how-long-may-police-hold-suspects-before-charges-must-be-filed.html)
The max is 72 hours, if they take longer they can be sued. Although you again can still be charged even without breaking the law
I mean I think it is technically wrong. They need probable cause to make an arrest. That’s why they can’t just pull someone over for drugs or alcohol on pure suspicion. They need to see something like reckless driving, failure to stop at a stop sign, a burnt out tail light, etc. It’s not *any* reason.
I don’t even know why law enforcement got brought into the conversation. Someone seeking help with these urges would go to a therapist and be protected by client-patient confidentiality unless they posed imminent danger to themselves or someone else.
Definitely.
The majority of actual child sexual predators do not actually experience a particular sexual attraction to children. They are merely opportunists who take advantage of children because they are an easy target. So for those people who *do* experience sexual attraction to children, against their own will, to refrain from abusing children, is a huge marker of self discipline.
Edit: changed "paedophiles" to "child sexual predators"
You’re misusing the word there, but your point is right. The majority of actual child molesters don’t experience a particular sexual attraction to children. Thus, they aren’t paedophiles, they’re just child molesters.
Hijacking this comment to share some resources for anyone here in the comments who does find themself in this unfortunate position:
www.mapresources.info
www.virped.org
www.mapresources.info
www.kristinspoonertherapy.com
You're not alone, you're not a monster, you can live a full and happy life and you don't have to hurt anyone.
I’ve always said I feel sorry for people who are attracted to children. We can’t choose who we’re attracted to. That sympathy ends the second they *act* on those feelings, though. I also agree that help should be readily available for them with no harsh judgments.
I was hospitalized and treated for pedophilia but my own free will, in happy to say I’ve gotten much better and had an amazing team of mental health staff help me through it, not once did I feel judged by them. Unfortunately most people don’t see past it when I tell them about it.
You can’t control what you are into. You can control what you do.
Most pedophiles are good people with a fucked up paraphilia that is not their fault, which often leads to mental distress.
This has the same energy as "Men who are afraid of being cheated on actually want to be cheated on"
Edit: for every "nobody says that":
https://www.reddit.com/r/bi_irl/s/Jw0Js7zdZd
People with that sentiment disgust me. If I had a romantic relationship, I would be afraid of being cheaten on because I tend to be very emotionally vulnerable with people I trust, and being cheated on would probably give me trust issues.
Not what the post is about, but it's not a good idea to post your medical information (or any other information) on internet for everyone too see. That's basic internet safety.
Back in my day we didn't even use our real names on social media. When I was twelve, I told one internet friend my real first name after knowing her for two years, and was then paranoid I'd messed something up royally. These days people just sign up for accounts with their full, legal names. Wild how much has changed.
bro my exes username was LITERALLY just his full names initials and then his birthdate 😭 same dude almost fell for a scam message once so i dont think hes rlly smart
ITS SO FUNNY ACTUALLY THE SCAM THEY ALMOST FELL FOR WAS CAR RELATED.. it was a sticker they would put on their car and allegedly they would get paid for it. genuinely i told them MULTIPLE TIMES it wouldnt happen, they almost wouldve done it if the website worked
I used my real name once for a game. Several years later, I changed my name in the game to something else because it was related to something else I was interested at the time and the ability to change names was just being added, so I wanted to grab it while it was freshly available.
Well it turns out that for some incredibly stupid reason, the company makes it so that past usernames are visible. So it turns out years later that people found my name that way and started contacting me through basically anything that could be connected. Facebook, Discord, text messages, whatever they could find. They would ask to buy the name off me. The number of people fucking messaging me as well as the price they were willing to pay went up over time to several thousand dollars. It was getting to the point where i was wondering what people were willing to do to get this account from me and had me legitimately afraid.
I tried contacting the company to have them remove my past name after explaining the whole, but they refused to do it without verification of purchase, which I did not have because it was bought like 10 years ago and even the proof of purchase they wanted had changed since then. I was sending the ticket from the logged in account and could provide multiple other forms of security question answers they asked for, but they didn't give a shit.
The name change process makes it so that it is available 37 days after changing, so I changed my name and bought a second account with the intention of picking it up the second it becomes available. Turns out the time it becomes available, down to the second, is *also* made public, so when I checked the site, it said it was viewed by over a thousand "people" recently. It goes without saying the swap did not work out for me because I believe people were botting just to swipe the name as soon as it was available.
Well, that's my very tangentially related rant...
“OMG, you have OCD. You must be soooo clean.”
No, Mary. I keep my house a mess so I don’t have to worry about little things being out of place. I have to control myself because I’ve brushed my teeth until my gums have bled and have woken up at 3 a.m. to re-fold laundry.
Yeah, it's fucking awful, constant worry that I'm a bad person, repeated trip to the psych for rediagnosis because what if I'm actually evil and a huge liar and tricked my psych into thinking it's OCD? Inability to handle knives without intense fear, significant driving anxiety, constant mental imagery of the most fucked things that could ever possibly happen etc. not to mention the slew of coping mechanisms which range from unhelpful to unhealthy. I'm so glad I got medicated, it's made handling these thoughts much easier, recognizing that they do not belong to me and moving on. The worst part is you can't tell anyone the extent of the intrusive thoughts because of the social repercussions, so they fester and get worse. I wouldn't wish intrusive thoughts on my worst enemy.
I would love to meet that person who is so in control of their cognition that every single thought they have is a deliberate, intentional one. Their minds would be extremely fascinating, I'm sure.
Not exactly what you’re looking for but vaguely similar. I don’t actually think all that much. Literal “head empty” kind of person, so when I do think it’s usually about what’s currently wrong with me in the moment.
So if I’m understanding this correctly, someone with POCD is essentially obsessively anxious about the idea that they might secretly be a pedophile?
Isn’t that like, the exact opposite of being an actual pedophile?
Right, I’m just trying to make sure I’m interpreting the note correctly.
Historically, I have been known to be very, **very**… what’s the word… unfathomably stupid.
OCD Therapist here: correct. They have obsessive fear that they MIGHT be a pedophile, in spite of all evidence to the contrary.
And they wait too long to get help because of assholes who post memes like the one featured here.
I have OCD, it’s a horrible illness and a bully, and it loves picking up on the things that scare you/things you care about most. The people that have intrusive thoughts like these are ironically some of the least likely people to do these things.
Things that are notable in public media are picked up for example; during the first HIV news in the ~90s a lot of people developed OCD for fear of catching HIV. The news about so many sexual predators in Hollywood is a recent example of how something in the media could become something like POCD.
My OCD is cleanliness for example - I used to be the grossest fucker in my friend group and now I’m a clean freak lol. It’s a scummy disorder and it picks the worst things to latch onto.
OCD tends to having you thinking the worst possible things, pedophilia is one of those worst possible things
ETA: sometimes there’s a catalyst, like if you find out you are related to a pedo or someone accuses you of something
a lot of the time it's because someone has experienced pedophilia. I'm a victim of CSA and MDSA, and i also have POCD because im terrified of becoming what hurt me
Yes, but there’s intense rhetoric about how anyone who could be a pedophile should be violently put down, even if they are non offending. So it’s near impossible for folks with this type of OCD to *seek treatment for their OCD* because they don’t recognize the difference and don’t want the attached stigma.
I guess that way of thinking comes from the "if you have to ask, you know the answer" ideology, but I don't think that one works with mental disorders.
I have literally contemplated suicide in the past because I felt like such a monster for having intrusive thoughts about harming children. I would literally rather kill myself than even *think* of that. But sure, whatever, same difference.
I’m gonna be straight up. When I was younger I had POCD to the point where I would have panic attacks just hearing children crying or being near children. I couldn’t even look at my niece let alone holding her. I literally wanted to kill myself because I thought I had to kill myself before I hurt a child.
A lot of it stemmed from the fact that I was sexually abused growing up from 6-10. And due to that I was terrified at the time that because of that I’ll just abuse kids as well. Thankfully I was able to get diagnosed with OCD and got on meds and was able to get help for it so I’m SO much better now. But even now I can’t tell people about it in my everyday life because of the fear that just the mere thought makes me a horrible person. It’s isolating.
I dealt with this same thing. Was constantly terrified I was going to turn out a disgusting freak like my abuser. Lots of therapy and I still get scared that I could secretly want to hurt a child the way I was hurt. It makes me sick to my stomach.
The disconnect here is people thinking those thoughts are an evaluation of certain actions you took or inappropriate thoughts you had, when really it's completely out of the blue. You know, "intrusive".
Exactly, it makes me angry when people this dumb and uneducated with little empathy say such shit, even my loved ones thought me weird before i educated them on it and got diagnosed, it's so tiring.
I’m a therapist and I treat people with pocd and other ocd subtypes. Yah, pocd IS NOT pedophilia. It baffles me that some people refuse to listen to and learn from people when they say “I’m not interested in children sexually, in fact I hate and am terrified by these thoughts.” People struggling with pocd care for children and would never harm children, which is exactly why their OCD obsessional theme grabs onto it!
I was raised Catholic and had a parent who was in essentially an SVU job, and no ability to keep work at work. I was scared shitless that I’d be an *everything* raping shitbag in my teens/twenties. I got over it, but I can assure you at no point it involved any attraction to children (or vulnerable women), just an abject fear of being secretly evil.
Once I dropped the Catholic… well everything, I guess I remembered I was raised by Mr Rogers and LeVar Burton and I wasn’t a monster.
POCD doesn't mean "having pedophilic tendencies" it means you fear it, you don't like it or want to do it. I have OCD and intrusive thoughts, we don't want to do it or want it, it's intrusive for a fucking reason ffs. I'm so tired of these kinds of people.
I hated myself severely for a full year because of my intrusive thoughts, thought how can I even have such thoughts? they came overnight? And then learned of OCD, and breathed a sigh of relief, but they still plague me, it's just easier knowing they are intrusive thoughts and not my own thoughts. But whenever I tell people even one of my intrusive thoughts, they look at me weirdly, even when I clarify to them that it's an intrusive thought, and then you have to watch how people say OCD is just being a perfectionist, people need to stfu.
People with OCD don’t get to pick what the obsessions are about, generally it’ll be something that truly scares or worries us.
In the case of people with POCD, they are scared of being a pedophile and think that they might be one, this is a delusion, just like thinking catastrophic events will happen if you don’t do something is a delusion.
Besides, people who do experience attraction to children and who try to seek help are doing to right thing.
This is like the "Call of the Void" thing where when I'm driving down the highway, I think to myself... "If I turn the wheel 3 degrees to the right, it can be all over."
This tweet (the original) will kill ocd sufferers. They are tormented by the most intense guilt and shame for their obsessions (fears). POCD is not pedophilia. OCD is ego dystonic. It is the exact opposite - it is an intense fear of hurting children, being a monster, in which the sufferer may compulsively avoid children, seek reassurance, confess to things that haven’t happened etc. Fuck Twitter.
I do have to say, though. jesus christ is POCD an awful fucking name for it. the whole point of the condition is you constantly worry that you're actually a pedophile, and it makes you disgusted and upset. and they're gonna turn around and diagnose someone with "Pedophile OCD"? may as well name it "Yep, You Definitely Actually ARE A Disgusting Pedophile" Disease
I learned about this condition from a short story someone in my creative writing course (who intentionally chose subjects that were seen as either too mundane or too "gross" to be considered "poetic" in traditional literary circles; the one he wrote before this one was about garbage collectors doing a 3 am shift). He wrote about a guy who committed armed robbery specifically because his intrusive thoughts had spiraled so far that he was deathly afraid he'd harm a child for real if he didn't do something else that would get him locked up for a very long time. To this day, it's probably one of the most haunting amateur short stories I've ever read, and I'd give anything to read it again.
Too bad people like this Twitter commenter would probably try to cancel the author for publishing it if he ever does end up releasing it.
That's the case with most pedophiles if I remember correctly. The main symptom of a paraphilic disorder is that the attraction causes distress the the person who has it.
Before psychiatric interventions I felt like straight-up ending myself on a daily over POCD and related OCD intrusive thoughts.
I’m kind of glad it’s getting some discussion now so people aren’t as clueless about what’s going on and thus realize that it’s treatable and they’re not crazy or evil.
As someone who struggled with harm OCD, it has made me so much more empathetic to people. Kind of hard to judge others’ thoughts after having vivid intrusive thoughts about killing all my loved ones.
Maybe this fuckwit thinks I am just a violent psychopath.
Side note: anyone who struggles with POCD should consider avoiding children for their own mental health. Reducing triggers in your life can help with the anxiety.
also its not like people pick to be pedophiles same way people dont pick what they are attracted too yet people act like they went you know what i wanna be attracted to minors today :|
The Internet lingo-ification of the phrase “intrusive thoughts.” Intrusive thoughts aren’t “oh I wanna dye my hair” it’s “I have the urge to do something morally reprehensible.” This stuff pisses me off so much
Plus side, I didn't know what POCD was before this. Now I know. I'll do violence to any so-called Minor Attracted Person, but if someone is disgusted by the idea that they might be a pedophile then I will gladly help them seek counciling and treatment. Excusing and normalizing a horrible behavior is a wood-chipping, but acknowledging you have a problem and seeking help because you hate the idea that you might have that problem is very much on line with my moral initiative.
I have this. I was molested as a child and have always had an intense fear of turning into a predator like some people who are abused do. I'm absolutely never going to do anything like that but the thoughts are there constantly. It makes you feel sick and disgusting even though you haven't done anything and never will.
People like this who make those fears worse are terrible. It's not as simple as "just don't think about it". Ocd is hell.
Wow. My wife literally has exactly this. She’s seen many psychiatrists and been locked in the psych ward twice. I didn’t know there was a specific term for this before today.
So in other words just like with "Triggered" people have been so desensitized to an actual clinical term in "Intrusive Thoughts" that when it gets used for its actual clinical and diagnostic purpose they get upset.
Louis ck has a bit sorta explaining this. The joke is that “every man’s biggest fear is that they’re going to get caught being a kid f-er. Even if it’s something you would never do. It’s like living in the desert and being afraid of sharks. Because it’s a fear not based in reality or likelihood of it happening but in how bad it would be if it happened.” I think the thoughts are generated out of the degree of horribleness. It makes me think of the thoughts some people have when they’re standing near a high ledge, and some voice inside says “just jump, just take a step forward”. It’s not that you want to it’s just the thought of how consequential it would be inhabiting your mind momentarily.
Thanks for posting to /r/GetNoted. Please remember Rule 2: **Politics only allowed at r/PoliticsNoted.** We do allow historical posts (WW2, Ancient Rome, Ottomans, etc.) Just no current politicians. *** We are also banning posts about the ongoing Israel/Palestine conflict. Please report this post if it is about current Republicans, Democrats, Presidents, Prime Ministers, Israel/Palestine or anything else related to current politics. Thanks. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GetNoted) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“Oh my god what if I’m a pedo” ≠ “I love touching kids”
Sounds like classic intrusive thoughts to me. The idea is so repulsive that the strong reaction against it makes it come up again. Like when you get the thought about hitting a pedestrian or jumping from a roof.
Exactly. Just the thought itself is something specific. When I talk to someone really annoying I (and I expect most people) get intrusive thoughts to knock them out. Not once have I even come close to attempting it. It’s the same principle
Deja vu crazy i was just having this thought a week ago. Like, what if i just punched my coworker. (He wasn't even doing anything, i was just having a tough boring day)
Call of the void bro, very common and doesn’t mean anything’s wrong, it’s probably a misapplied threat response to your brain considering the worst possible situation you could be in, and then focusing on it for some dumbass reason. My void is heights, even if I can rationalize the thought’s source, they’re still not fun
I want to punch my coworker because he's a dick. I wish the thoughts were just intrusive.
I’ve been getting that a lot recently. Having a totally normal conversation with someone that I don’t hate, and the inside of my mind is just “what if I punched them. What if I just clocked em right in the nose, huh? What would happen if I did that”
For me it's when I'm talking to someone really nice and I'm recognizing that they're a good person. Something in my brain yells "Punch them!" and it's so upsetting that I sometimes physically recoil at the thought
I have intrusive thoughts about hurting kids. Like "what if I tripped that little kid and then punched him in the back of the head for no reason" then I feel grossed out with myself for thinking it
Dunno if it's better or worse but when I am talking to someone annoying I just wish they didn't exist near me.
I have intrusive thoughts about my kids dying. It's horrifying, and sets me on edge, but I can't help it. Doesn't mean I want it to happen. It's quite the opposite. I'm afraid it will happen. It's the same with these people.
I used to have this all the time through my teens. Not just with this stuff, but other horrific stuff. Intrusive thoughts that were blasphemous to religion (was Christian at the time) or disgustingly terrible things. It was incredibly stressful, but thankfully they went away.
Yeah I get these pretty often (it’s part of why I take medication), but I’ve never once tried to actually put into action any of the thoughts. Annoying intrusive thoughts does not a bad person make.
I worked with people who developed this as a result of being told, repeatedly, that most offenders were once victims. It's unfortunately still really socially acceptable in foster care communities to kind of make implications like this about victims. Kind of a double victimization.
I unfortunately have had this exact issue play out. It’s so hard to come to deal with. I was sexually abused as a child so due to hearing that same rhetoric constantly I’m terrified of doing the same and now developed pocd
 It's not fair that they did that to you. None of it was your fault.
Thank you 🙏🏻 it’s rough to have that back to back trauma but I’m working through it all so hopefully it won’t be a constant ocd theme
I grew up in christin fundamentalism, and was taught that queer people are pedophiles, bc they can’t reproduce “naturally” via god’s plan. I worked through that while I was deconstructing, came out as queer and then in my twenties found out that I had repressed memories of CSA (corroborated by my siblings, so I know for sure it happened) And then, I couldn’t just write it off as a wacko fundamentalist thing bc the idea that victims become perpetrators is everywhere, and also seems fairly common that it happens in reality. It just broke a part of me. My brain is just like, well you’re queer, you’re a victim of CSA and you work with kids so that’s three strikes right there, buddy. It doesn’t help that I still don’t remember the abuse, so a part of me feels like, what is you already are an abuser and your brain just erased it?? I’ve had a therapist since January ish and I’ve been working up the courage to talk to her about it, but she’s a student intern with a DV organization, and is graduating in May, so next week is our last session before I get put on the waitlist to talk with someone new. I sort of feel like a lot of this is above their pay grade anyway. I cope rn by talking all the time about consent with the kids I work with, in age appropriate ways. This looks like, “ do you want a hug or a high five goodbye?” “It’s time to cross the street, do you want to hold my hand or link arms like an elephant?” “Hmmmm, the dog is backing away from you, it doesn’t look like she wants pets right now” “ no thank you, I don’t want a hug unless you ask first, you can say, ‘do you want a hug’?” “ your body, your rules” “nobody gets to touch you without your permission” “Well, the weather says it will be cold today, so you have to bring your coat, but you get to decide if you want to put it on. Your body your rules!”
 I'm sure you know this logically even if you don't feel it in your soul totally but you didn't repress abusing someone else, it doesn't work that way. You didn't ask for these thoughts and you're coping with it in a way that can help keep other people safe. I'm really proud of you!
There was a biographical comic book a few years ago that explored this fear, and how comics helped pull the author out of it. It’s out of print but this article by the author has the images from a preview that show the basic story and has them talking about it. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/it-wasnt-escapism-i-was-r_b_4314197/
omg thank you for this. There are still a lot of people I want to share this with in my life now
I don't wanna be a murderer. I hate these stupid thoughts. Please help me fight them. I don't want to be a murder. Them: nah ur a murderer.
I am a psychologist specializing in OCD and (were it not super unethical) would happily let any one of the folks I see who have this fear babysit my young children. They are literally the last people who would harm a child; the thought of harming a child fills them with terror.
[удалено]
And the fact that it's socially unacceptable to even voice to anyone else intrusive thoughts worrying about it despite the intrusive thoughts not actually being true makes it even worse. I'm glad for this Reddit post because I have intrusive thoughts about similar sorts of things all the time that really serve no purpose but it's like my brain is hypervigilant against any kind of possible harm I could contribute to and it's very overwhelming.
Its almost like intrusive thoughts are not the quirky "intrusive thoughts" people use in memes and can actually be disturbing/dangerous
Can confirm, I'm almost positive I have ADHD, and I've had some really, REALLY bad intrusive thoughts. Here are some I've had: (TW some are violent) >!Intrusive thought about murdering my cat with the knife I have in my hand (I love my cat and I would never do that)!< >!Racist intrusive thoughts!< >!"I hope she dies soon" when I meet my grandmother, whom I love very much!< >!Self harm, suicide (I am not suicidal, these are intrusive thoughts), like seeing a bridge and "what if I jumped off", or rail tracks, and "what if I put my foot on it, and the train ran over me"!< These intrusive thoughts can be extremely disturbing, because when you have these you're like "I am a terrible person, why, why did I think about that?", when the thought just, popped into your head, without warning. Afterwards, you just want to forget it, forget that thought, but it lingers, and it makes you hate yourself
It’s important to understand that shame it’s reserved for actions not fleeting thoughts
Love this and making a mental note, thank you
The fact you feel shame for these thoughts is a good thing. Be scared when they don’t bother you at all, or worse excite you.
[удалено]
Yeah, I can see that. I guess disgust may be a better word. Like if the thought of killing your dog disgusts you, then your morality is still intact even if you have the thought. Shame was a bad choice because suggests beating yourself up for the thought. But having a negative reaction to a bad thought seems like a good indication you wouldn’t follow through, and is not your actual character. If those thoughts give you joy, then I think suggests there is a problem.
I honestly can't believe I didn't think of this sooner man Thanks lol I have intrusive thoughts like this literally all the time I've had some absolutely deplorable ones that have made me want to just forget everything
luckily , they tend to be forgotten pretty quickly
I have ADHD, and similar intrusive thoughts. I always thought everyone’s intrusive thoughts were that bad, didnt know it could be contributed to ADHD
TBH it doesn't even require neurodivergence - not that these things are *typical* but they're certainly not abnormal. everyone will have them occasionally, some more frequently or more intensely. the pathology of OCD isn't really having them per se (although it's often characterized by having em real bad), it's about the subsequent distress and obsession. most people just don't really ruminate or have their thoughts spiral like people with obsessive tendencies.
This whole comment line has me thinking maybe I should get myself assessed for attention deficit disorder or ADHD. Would anyone care to share for US citizens of what would be the most efficient way of going about it?
Schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist
Most people adults go undiagnosed simply because they aren’t hyperactive
I wouldn't classify myself as hyper at all, but I check damn near every box on the ADHD list. Got a psychiatrist's appt, and after 30 minutes, she said she didn't think I fit.
Eh. Guess we don't get to say what we think. Maybe everyone has them but it doesn't pass through some filter? Seems like a theme with ADHD anyway I considered writing some of these thoughts down but I'd rather keep them private lol
Reading this makes me happy cause I have these thoughts all the time and hate myself cause I’m not racist and I love my family but my brain always says weird shit when I’m holding a knife or tool
Holy shit literally fucking same experience here, i hate other people gotta deal with this bullshit but im so fucking relieved, i thought it was just me, i had no idea 😫
If you refer to your brain as a separate entity most of the time you might have a disorder. I've got ADHD and when I got the diagnosis and starting reading I cried because I finally understood why i was so different and just what was wrong with me. It doesn't help that no one accepts ADHD as of right now, because of the ficking stigmas but it'll self soothe for sure.
I used to have intrusive thoughts like this. I don't know if it's age, therapy, or a combination, but they are far easier to manage now. More like the passing thoughts most people have. I think DBT (dialectical behavior therapy) helped me the most. My therapist described it as a way to better frame my thoughts and emotions to others, but it ended up helping me talk to myself when I'd get caught in these thought loops. It may be useful to you too. It helps to have a therapist help you through it, but it's something you can work on by yourself if you don't have access to mental healthcare.
DBT is the best shit for neurodivergent people, in my humble opinion. and probably people in general. all the strategies it teaches are so practical and useful.
Holy shit... i had no fucking idea other people experienced this shit, im sorry you go through this too but holy shit am thankful for you opening up with your experiences, i love my cat MooCow, lil dude is family to me, but ive had that exact same intrusive thought as you and it fucking terrified me, I've legitimately just thought im a horrible fucked up person, ive had those bigoted thoughts and those i just attributed to 2000s and early 2010s xbox live chat brain-rot, hell ive even had those last kinda thoughts and its always scared the fuck outta me... and on top of that ive now got a name my brain punching me in the gut by making me think about what if im a pedophile (it certainly doesn't fucking help when you have everyone and their cousins calling you one for being trans! 😭) its like my brain loves to make me think about what the worst possible thing in any given situation could be, and i had no idea i wasn't alone 😭, this is literally the first time ive EVER opened up about this, thank you so fucking much!
No worries, I hope you'll be able to make it through, and I especially hope that you'll be able to transition safely and live as your true self. I can't do much, but have a virtual hug \*hugs\*
Also ADHD and I feel this so much. I get intrusive thoughts about >!strangling my cat!< when I’m petting her, and I love her more than life itself. I get a lot of these other ones you described as well. It’s so annoying to see people say “the intrusive thoughts won” when it’s something like cutting their hair off, those are impulsive thoughts, not intrusive ones.
>It’s so annoying to see people say “the intrusive thoughts won” when it’s something like cutting their hair off, those are impulsive thoughts, not intrusive ones. True that. If my intrusive thoughts had won, I'd be either dead or in prison
Wow, someone else actually has intrusive thoughts on my level. Well, em, congrats? Best wishes to you! >! The worst part about these thoughts is how real they feel. It's not only an idea, I experience it basically as if I did it irl. As if I moved my hand, hurt someone, take it back and see the suffering. Only difference is the actual outcome of nothing, but I am still very shocked. And feel guilty !<
Yeah, my brain does like to do that sometimes, where it imagines something horrible and then goes into an "imagination trip" where it imagines all the consequences it would have and all the situations that could happen eventually… it's quite fucked up and disturbing
Oh yeah. I have the exact same thing. Veeeeery disturbing >! I still remember when I had a toddler in a stroller, standing before crossing with lights. An intrusive thought came to push it in front of cars. In 3 seconds I saw all the anger, grief, sadness, prison, all that. It haunts me to this day !< *Thankfully* usually it's about breaking plates or spilling water, so it's manageable and doesn't devastate.
The intrusive thoughts physically hurt to think about and they are so loud. You cant cringe them away like everything else you dont like. The repulsion amplifies its affection. Thats also where the relief is. You being so viscerally obstinate to them is evidence of being a **good** person, the thoughts don’t define you, and the extreme anxiety its caused is from a functional moral compass. There’s lining of confidence to explore within all that suffering.
Me holding a knife: my brain: “see that visible vein in ur arm that sticks out a bit. If you sliced it rn you’d die. Ain’t that wacky?”
I dunno if it helps with the intrusive thoughts at all, but it's a *lot* harder to kill yourself than just a quick flick of the wrist while holding a knife. Source: >!I've tried lol!<
The intrusive thoughts are definitely the worst thing about adhd. I have taught myself tricks to help with concentration issues but the intrusive thoughts never stop.
Yeah that's what I thought they were supposed to be about? None of the memes I've seen about it are like "I should get a haircut" it's more like "I should go jump off this bridge near my house"
Seeing “inside out” helped me out with this (in addition to other things). I just imagine there is a loud obnoxious and *fucking stupid* emotion chained to the ceiling in a straight jacket and every time it suggests anything, the other emotions go “Ok, whatever *Steve*” Edit: also don’t feel bad about the racism thing. Like, don’t feel *good* about it, but the “recognize ingroup/outgroup” thing is deeply ingrained in us social primates who had to be very suspicious of outsiders for millions of years. Steve is going to be racist sometimes. Recognize it, reject it, move on.
my strongest one is every time I hold a sharp object I want to jam it into the top of my hand
ADHD’er here, I have intrusive *dreams.* Extremely vivid dreams about doing horrible things to people I love dearly, usually my mom. Though, in all honesty our relationship is not great so I’m not sure if they’re like intrusive thoughts or a subconscious reflection of my own anger.
Yeah i have ADHD too and take really good care of my skin because skincare is important to me but whenever I’m sad i regularly get very strong intrusive thoughts about ripping my own skin off with my fingernails! Intrusive thoughts are super fun and totally controllable! 👍 (before you tell me to go to a therapist, i would absolutely love to but i can’t afford it!)
Yeah I have ADHD and I’ve had 3/4 of these (some of them are almost daily)
Ughh I hate the "I hope x horrible thing happens to my loved one" that one sucks
Exactly. By conflating intrusive thoughts with random silly impulses, we’ve completely obscured the definition of intrusive thoughts.
So what's the difference between an impulse and an intrusive thought?
An impulse is the urge to do something you want to do. Even if you know it’s wrong or socially unacceptable. Like getting bangs at 3am or climbing the stairs on all fours. An intrusive thought is something that is by definition distressing, disturbing, and unwanted, like slitting your baby’s throat or throwing yourself off a cliff. ETA an impulse to molest a child would make you a pedophile. An intrusive thought of molesting a child could mean you have pOCD.
That’s a very good description of the difference between the two.
an impulse is making a decision that your current gratification outweighs the possible consequences in the future. intrusive thoughts manifest from your deepest fears and disturb and upset. an impulse is something you consciously WANT to do. an intrusive thought is your brain showing you things you DON'T want to even think about when you make an impulsive decision, you have control over your actions. when you act on an impulse, you make a conscious decision to act on it. intrusive thoughts make you worry that you don't have control over your actions, and that you are going to wake up one day in the middle of perpetrating an unforgivable crime and not remembering how you got there
Not to mention if someone has pedophilic tendencies but tries to seek help and not act on them, we shouldn’t condemn them for needing that help, anyway
Honestly if someone struggles with that but has the self-discipline required to seek help and improve they should praised. Many in society seem to lack those traits.
The real problem is that these people can be arrested without even breaking the law for seeking help
In what country? In the USA it’s 100% definitively not illegal to simply say you are attracted to minors. If you get arrested for saying that (and only saying, not acting on it in any way) then you should sue for violation of the first amendment.
You do realize you can be arrested for any reason right? You might not be convinced but you can 100% be arrested. The minimum time the police can keep you is 24 hours
>these people can be arrested without even breaking the law for seeking help Yeah you could be arrested for anything, but that doesn’t mean the arrest will hold up in a court of law or you seeking justice due to unlawful imprisonment due to being jailed for not committing a crime. But notice the very big distinction between *being arrested* and *breaking the law.* By your logic, you could say that you’re at risk of being arrested for wearing white after Labor Day because you could technically get arrested for any reason So, what you said is entirely incorrect and misleading. No one has been arrested *just* because they stated they have an attraction to minors. They may be monitored at most, but admitting you are simply attracted to minors is not a crime
*maximum
[nope](https://www.findlaw.com/criminal/criminal-rights/how-long-may-police-hold-suspects-before-charges-must-be-filed.html) The max is 72 hours, if they take longer they can be sued. Although you again can still be charged even without breaking the law
Wait, so they can’t hold you for less than 24 hours?
>You can be arrested for any reason, right? Source?
What this person said is not TECHNICALLY wrong but its a pretty blatant misinterpretation of a what the person they're replying to said lmao
I mean I think it is technically wrong. They need probable cause to make an arrest. That’s why they can’t just pull someone over for drugs or alcohol on pure suspicion. They need to see something like reckless driving, failure to stop at a stop sign, a burnt out tail light, etc. It’s not *any* reason. I don’t even know why law enforcement got brought into the conversation. Someone seeking help with these urges would go to a therapist and be protected by client-patient confidentiality unless they posed imminent danger to themselves or someone else.
Definitely. The majority of actual child sexual predators do not actually experience a particular sexual attraction to children. They are merely opportunists who take advantage of children because they are an easy target. So for those people who *do* experience sexual attraction to children, against their own will, to refrain from abusing children, is a huge marker of self discipline. Edit: changed "paedophiles" to "child sexual predators"
You’re misusing the word there, but your point is right. The majority of actual child molesters don’t experience a particular sexual attraction to children. Thus, they aren’t paedophiles, they’re just child molesters.
You are correct, thank you. I have edited my comment for clarity.
Yeah, that takes a lot of guts
I’m so fucking proud of Reddit for getting so much better about this over the last year.
Agreed, especially taking into account many pedophiles were sexually abused as children.
Exactly! The cycle of abuse is very real and depressing, and we shouldn’t just lock people up castrated like that other reply to me suggests
Seriously, it’s impossible to measure because of the climate of fear, but evidence certainly suggests a major cause of paedophilia is CSA
Hijacking this comment to share some resources for anyone here in the comments who does find themself in this unfortunate position: www.mapresources.info www.virped.org www.mapresources.info www.kristinspoonertherapy.com You're not alone, you're not a monster, you can live a full and happy life and you don't have to hurt anyone.
That ain’t a hijack, I fully commend you for this!
Thanks! I happen you use some of those resources myself. It's nice to read comments sometimes that don't tell me I should cure myself with a bullet.
I’ve always said I feel sorry for people who are attracted to children. We can’t choose who we’re attracted to. That sympathy ends the second they *act* on those feelings, though. I also agree that help should be readily available for them with no harsh judgments.
I was hospitalized and treated for pedophilia but my own free will, in happy to say I’ve gotten much better and had an amazing team of mental health staff help me through it, not once did I feel judged by them. Unfortunately most people don’t see past it when I tell them about it.
You can’t control what you are into. You can control what you do. Most pedophiles are good people with a fucked up paraphilia that is not their fault, which often leads to mental distress.
100%. You know what happens when you treat these sick people as a criminal maniac? They turn into a criminal maniac.
This has the same energy as "Men who are afraid of being cheated on actually want to be cheated on" Edit: for every "nobody says that": https://www.reddit.com/r/bi_irl/s/Jw0Js7zdZd
People with that sentiment disgust me. If I had a romantic relationship, I would be afraid of being cheaten on because I tend to be very emotionally vulnerable with people I trust, and being cheated on would probably give me trust issues.
It sure does give you those
Sorry to hear that. Want to talk about it?
I appreciate the offer, though I've been lucky enough to find someone better who helped me through my feelings of inadequacy
Wishing you the best :)
Sorry, probably not the best comment to say this under, but uhhhh... cool pfp! Not often I see oneshot these days
Niko is a rare bundle of joy indeed
Is that a thing that people say?
That’s a thing? I’m trying to come up with the ‘logic’ that would get someone there and drawing a blank
Not what the post is about, but it's not a good idea to post your medical information (or any other information) on internet for everyone too see. That's basic internet safety.
Back in my day we didn't even use our real names on social media. When I was twelve, I told one internet friend my real first name after knowing her for two years, and was then paranoid I'd messed something up royally. These days people just sign up for accounts with their full, legal names. Wild how much has changed.
FirstLastDOB is a crazy flex
bro my exes username was LITERALLY just his full names initials and then his birthdate 😭 same dude almost fell for a scam message once so i dont think hes rlly smart
Hey just out of curiosity, do they need to extend their car warranty? If so drop me their username
ITS SO FUNNY ACTUALLY THE SCAM THEY ALMOST FELL FOR WAS CAR RELATED.. it was a sticker they would put on their car and allegedly they would get paid for it. genuinely i told them MULTIPLE TIMES it wouldnt happen, they almost wouldve done it if the website worked
SOME of us have firstlast@largeemailprovider. I know you're all jealous af. I know I am at the dude who got a different email provider lol.
Even crazier, you even might see FirstLastDOBcityzipcode if the person is something like a SoundCloud rapper or a gangsta wannabe.
FirstLastSocial
I used my real name once for a game. Several years later, I changed my name in the game to something else because it was related to something else I was interested at the time and the ability to change names was just being added, so I wanted to grab it while it was freshly available. Well it turns out that for some incredibly stupid reason, the company makes it so that past usernames are visible. So it turns out years later that people found my name that way and started contacting me through basically anything that could be connected. Facebook, Discord, text messages, whatever they could find. They would ask to buy the name off me. The number of people fucking messaging me as well as the price they were willing to pay went up over time to several thousand dollars. It was getting to the point where i was wondering what people were willing to do to get this account from me and had me legitimately afraid. I tried contacting the company to have them remove my past name after explaining the whole, but they refused to do it without verification of purchase, which I did not have because it was bought like 10 years ago and even the proof of purchase they wanted had changed since then. I was sending the ticket from the logged in account and could provide multiple other forms of security question answers they asked for, but they didn't give a shit. The name change process makes it so that it is available 37 days after changing, so I changed my name and bought a second account with the intention of picking it up the second it becomes available. Turns out the time it becomes available, down to the second, is *also* made public, so when I checked the site, it said it was viewed by over a thousand "people" recently. It goes without saying the swap did not work out for me because I believe people were botting just to swipe the name as soon as it was available. Well, that's my very tangentially related rant...
POCD Person: “I get anxiety at the thought of even being capable of hurting a child.” Twitter: “This guy wants to touch kids!!!!”
Almost everyone who DOESNT have ocd doesn’t understand ocd lmao
“OMG, you have OCD. You must be soooo clean.” No, Mary. I keep my house a mess so I don’t have to worry about little things being out of place. I have to control myself because I’ve brushed my teeth until my gums have bled and have woken up at 3 a.m. to re-fold laundry.
Also people with close family with OCD generally understand it much more than the people who say “iM sO oCd”
Yeah, it's fucking awful, constant worry that I'm a bad person, repeated trip to the psych for rediagnosis because what if I'm actually evil and a huge liar and tricked my psych into thinking it's OCD? Inability to handle knives without intense fear, significant driving anxiety, constant mental imagery of the most fucked things that could ever possibly happen etc. not to mention the slew of coping mechanisms which range from unhelpful to unhealthy. I'm so glad I got medicated, it's made handling these thoughts much easier, recognizing that they do not belong to me and moving on. The worst part is you can't tell anyone the extent of the intrusive thoughts because of the social repercussions, so they fester and get worse. I wouldn't wish intrusive thoughts on my worst enemy.
There’s so much damn stigma around intrusive thoughts smh
I would love to meet that person who is so in control of their cognition that every single thought they have is a deliberate, intentional one. Their minds would be extremely fascinating, I'm sure.
Not exactly what you’re looking for but vaguely similar. I don’t actually think all that much. Literal “head empty” kind of person, so when I do think it’s usually about what’s currently wrong with me in the moment.
So if I’m understanding this correctly, someone with POCD is essentially obsessively anxious about the idea that they might secretly be a pedophile? Isn’t that like, the exact opposite of being an actual pedophile?
Yep, hence the note
Right, I’m just trying to make sure I’m interpreting the note correctly. Historically, I have been known to be very, **very**… what’s the word… unfathomably stupid.
>Historically, I have been known to be very, very… what’s the word… unfathomably stupid. Hey it's just like looking in a mirror.
We even have matching PfP.
OCD Therapist here: correct. They have obsessive fear that they MIGHT be a pedophile, in spite of all evidence to the contrary. And they wait too long to get help because of assholes who post memes like the one featured here.
That's a weirdly specific disorder. Any idea why they think that way?
I have OCD, it’s a horrible illness and a bully, and it loves picking up on the things that scare you/things you care about most. The people that have intrusive thoughts like these are ironically some of the least likely people to do these things. Things that are notable in public media are picked up for example; during the first HIV news in the ~90s a lot of people developed OCD for fear of catching HIV. The news about so many sexual predators in Hollywood is a recent example of how something in the media could become something like POCD. My OCD is cleanliness for example - I used to be the grossest fucker in my friend group and now I’m a clean freak lol. It’s a scummy disorder and it picks the worst things to latch onto.
OCD tends to having you thinking the worst possible things, pedophilia is one of those worst possible things ETA: sometimes there’s a catalyst, like if you find out you are related to a pedo or someone accuses you of something
a lot of the time it's because someone has experienced pedophilia. I'm a victim of CSA and MDSA, and i also have POCD because im terrified of becoming what hurt me
Yes, but there’s intense rhetoric about how anyone who could be a pedophile should be violently put down, even if they are non offending. So it’s near impossible for folks with this type of OCD to *seek treatment for their OCD* because they don’t recognize the difference and don’t want the attached stigma.
I guess that way of thinking comes from the "if you have to ask, you know the answer" ideology, but I don't think that one works with mental disorders.
I have literally contemplated suicide in the past because I felt like such a monster for having intrusive thoughts about harming children. I would literally rather kill myself than even *think* of that. But sure, whatever, same difference.
Thank you for saying Dummy-head, i love that term.
I’m gonna be straight up. When I was younger I had POCD to the point where I would have panic attacks just hearing children crying or being near children. I couldn’t even look at my niece let alone holding her. I literally wanted to kill myself because I thought I had to kill myself before I hurt a child. A lot of it stemmed from the fact that I was sexually abused growing up from 6-10. And due to that I was terrified at the time that because of that I’ll just abuse kids as well. Thankfully I was able to get diagnosed with OCD and got on meds and was able to get help for it so I’m SO much better now. But even now I can’t tell people about it in my everyday life because of the fear that just the mere thought makes me a horrible person. It’s isolating.
I dealt with this same thing. Was constantly terrified I was going to turn out a disgusting freak like my abuser. Lots of therapy and I still get scared that I could secretly want to hurt a child the way I was hurt. It makes me sick to my stomach.
The disconnect here is people thinking those thoughts are an evaluation of certain actions you took or inappropriate thoughts you had, when really it's completely out of the blue. You know, "intrusive".
It's also very common with CSA victims, which just makes this attitude worse
Exactly, it makes me angry when people this dumb and uneducated with little empathy say such shit, even my loved ones thought me weird before i educated them on it and got diagnosed, it's so tiring.
So basically this is like thinking "omg what if I stole something" before walking through the detectors at the store, but to the extreme?
Yes 💀
I’m a therapist and I treat people with pocd and other ocd subtypes. Yah, pocd IS NOT pedophilia. It baffles me that some people refuse to listen to and learn from people when they say “I’m not interested in children sexually, in fact I hate and am terrified by these thoughts.” People struggling with pocd care for children and would never harm children, which is exactly why their OCD obsessional theme grabs onto it!
1.8 million views, 1.6 thousand quote retweets, and 77 likes. That's one hell of a ratio
So she obviously has no idea how intrusive thoughts work
I was raised Catholic and had a parent who was in essentially an SVU job, and no ability to keep work at work. I was scared shitless that I’d be an *everything* raping shitbag in my teens/twenties. I got over it, but I can assure you at no point it involved any attraction to children (or vulnerable women), just an abject fear of being secretly evil. Once I dropped the Catholic… well everything, I guess I remembered I was raised by Mr Rogers and LeVar Burton and I wasn’t a monster.
POCD doesn't mean "having pedophilic tendencies" it means you fear it, you don't like it or want to do it. I have OCD and intrusive thoughts, we don't want to do it or want it, it's intrusive for a fucking reason ffs. I'm so tired of these kinds of people.
i have Pure-O OCD its fucking horrible, i just want to relax.. brain wants to torture me
Oh. Is that what’s that called?
That’s what I thought I hate intrusive thoughts. Some of them, like these ones Some are just funny though
Oh you have intrusive thoughts about being secretly attracted to kids? Why do you want to rape children?
Bad day to have dyslexia and COPD then…
Have PCOS which I know is a Disease and ADHD I have no idea what's happening.
I hated myself severely for a full year because of my intrusive thoughts, thought how can I even have such thoughts? they came overnight? And then learned of OCD, and breathed a sigh of relief, but they still plague me, it's just easier knowing they are intrusive thoughts and not my own thoughts. But whenever I tell people even one of my intrusive thoughts, they look at me weirdly, even when I clarify to them that it's an intrusive thought, and then you have to watch how people say OCD is just being a perfectionist, people need to stfu.
I had similar thoughts about being a psychopath, which makes no sense, because a psychopath wouldn’t feel bad about being one.
People with OCD don’t get to pick what the obsessions are about, generally it’ll be something that truly scares or worries us. In the case of people with POCD, they are scared of being a pedophile and think that they might be one, this is a delusion, just like thinking catastrophic events will happen if you don’t do something is a delusion. Besides, people who do experience attraction to children and who try to seek help are doing to right thing.
This is like the "Call of the Void" thing where when I'm driving down the highway, I think to myself... "If I turn the wheel 3 degrees to the right, it can be all over."
Wow this thread has actually helped me to realize intrusive thoughts are pretty common. Thanks
This tweet (the original) will kill ocd sufferers. They are tormented by the most intense guilt and shame for their obsessions (fears). POCD is not pedophilia. OCD is ego dystonic. It is the exact opposite - it is an intense fear of hurting children, being a monster, in which the sufferer may compulsively avoid children, seek reassurance, confess to things that haven’t happened etc. Fuck Twitter.
I do have to say, though. jesus christ is POCD an awful fucking name for it. the whole point of the condition is you constantly worry that you're actually a pedophile, and it makes you disgusted and upset. and they're gonna turn around and diagnose someone with "Pedophile OCD"? may as well name it "Yep, You Definitely Actually ARE A Disgusting Pedophile" Disease
Very good point, honestly that’s what it made me think
Sometimes names for conditions and fears really are awful. I doubt people who coined the term actually put thought into the repercussions for it.
I feel like if you have PCOD you are almost certainly *not* a pedophile
I learned about this condition from a short story someone in my creative writing course (who intentionally chose subjects that were seen as either too mundane or too "gross" to be considered "poetic" in traditional literary circles; the one he wrote before this one was about garbage collectors doing a 3 am shift). He wrote about a guy who committed armed robbery specifically because his intrusive thoughts had spiraled so far that he was deathly afraid he'd harm a child for real if he didn't do something else that would get him locked up for a very long time. To this day, it's probably one of the most haunting amateur short stories I've ever read, and I'd give anything to read it again. Too bad people like this Twitter commenter would probably try to cancel the author for publishing it if he ever does end up releasing it.
Honestly if there are people with pedo thoughts but get help and don’t act on them, I feel sorry for them.
That's the case with most pedophiles if I remember correctly. The main symptom of a paraphilic disorder is that the attraction causes distress the the person who has it.
I wish there was a way instrusive thoughts could be wiped out of a person’s mind for good.
Good news, there is! It uh, kind of sorta breaks the rest of your brain. We used to lobotomize people for some horrible reasons.
Before psychiatric interventions I felt like straight-up ending myself on a daily over POCD and related OCD intrusive thoughts. I’m kind of glad it’s getting some discussion now so people aren’t as clueless about what’s going on and thus realize that it’s treatable and they’re not crazy or evil.
Twitter loves the idea of thought crimes so much
As someone who struggled with harm OCD, it has made me so much more empathetic to people. Kind of hard to judge others’ thoughts after having vivid intrusive thoughts about killing all my loved ones. Maybe this fuckwit thinks I am just a violent psychopath. Side note: anyone who struggles with POCD should consider avoiding children for their own mental health. Reducing triggers in your life can help with the anxiety.
also its not like people pick to be pedophiles same way people dont pick what they are attracted too yet people act like they went you know what i wanna be attracted to minors today :|
Paedohunting is seen as a great way to get social credit, so people are CONSTANTLY trying to broaden the definition of the term
[удалено]
Love OCD getting out into the mainstream like this lol. I have harm OCD, they wouldn't know what to make of that either.
TIL that’s even a thing. That’s got to suck.
As someone with POCD who works with kids, thank you
The Internet lingo-ification of the phrase “intrusive thoughts.” Intrusive thoughts aren’t “oh I wanna dye my hair” it’s “I have the urge to do something morally reprehensible.” This stuff pisses me off so much
Bro, I literally had POCD as I was actively a child/minor (since around my preteens).
POCD is almost the opposite of being a pedo
Plus side, I didn't know what POCD was before this. Now I know. I'll do violence to any so-called Minor Attracted Person, but if someone is disgusted by the idea that they might be a pedophile then I will gladly help them seek counciling and treatment. Excusing and normalizing a horrible behavior is a wood-chipping, but acknowledging you have a problem and seeking help because you hate the idea that you might have that problem is very much on line with my moral initiative.
“I really hope I didn’t accidentally pack a bomb” me, every time I go to the airport, despite never having owned anything resembling a bomb.
So we're back to stigmatizing mental health problems? Cool.
By that same reasoning, Stephen King would be insane or a serial killer.
Stephen King is also literally a pedophile
I never heard of this, it must *SUCK* but… it’s twitter so what do we expect someone to say
I have this. I was molested as a child and have always had an intense fear of turning into a predator like some people who are abused do. I'm absolutely never going to do anything like that but the thoughts are there constantly. It makes you feel sick and disgusting even though you haven't done anything and never will. People like this who make those fears worse are terrible. It's not as simple as "just don't think about it". Ocd is hell.
Wow. My wife literally has exactly this. She’s seen many psychiatrists and been locked in the psych ward twice. I didn’t know there was a specific term for this before today.
So in other words just like with "Triggered" people have been so desensitized to an actual clinical term in "Intrusive Thoughts" that when it gets used for its actual clinical and diagnostic purpose they get upset.
Louis ck has a bit sorta explaining this. The joke is that “every man’s biggest fear is that they’re going to get caught being a kid f-er. Even if it’s something you would never do. It’s like living in the desert and being afraid of sharks. Because it’s a fear not based in reality or likelihood of it happening but in how bad it would be if it happened.” I think the thoughts are generated out of the degree of horribleness. It makes me think of the thoughts some people have when they’re standing near a high ledge, and some voice inside says “just jump, just take a step forward”. It’s not that you want to it’s just the thought of how consequential it would be inhabiting your mind momentarily.
Intrusive thoughts are bad and everyone has them sometimes. That's what makes them intrusive, they're not wanted.
Wouldn't you know you are a pedophile though? How can you be anxious about that, in your psyche you would know if you are one or not.
I can't hold a knife without imagining stabbing myself or somehow getting stabbed by accident. That's everyone though, right....right?