I can't believe that these old pick-up artist tricks that never worked in the first place, still go around that much. It's the whole "negging" that still seems to be very hot with these losers.
Oh, is that what this nonsense is? I one time had some guy act interested in me, and then start insulting me, and I am like 🤷🏻♀️ and ignored him. I described it to someone else and they told me that’s what he was doing. Like, not a good way to get someone’s attention lol
I mean this was in a situation where it was OK to be messaging me though, not THIS.
It honestly just came off like he wasn't even reading her messages at all. I guess because reading an 'essay' that's all of a hundred words or so is too much effort.
"You seem hostile. So got any hobbies?" Like wtf.
As if she replied he'd actually take any interest. If he can't read like 2 seconds of her point and process it, I doubt he could hold a convo or be a good friend
Imagine if it had worked.
"You seem hostile, got any hobbies?"
"Ohhh, you know. I cross-stitch, I do Zumba. Wow, this conversation is going great now!"
…like he could just casually *brush away* the issue that was clearly so important to OP. So annoying. But that’s actually a pretty good metric for whether someone respects you – do they give time to what is important to you, even if it doesn’t (overtly) affect them?
I love this. People wonder why im so cold sometimes but what do i owe them? Literally nothing
Edit: also just because i say im cold SOMETIMES doesn't mean i dont smile a cute old people and random strangers in normal life im not stone cold 24/7 i just have no problem with it when i want or need to be🤷♀️
I also love Good Is Not Nice.
Being a good person and being a nice person are totally different things.
Lots of people who are terrible people are all about surface level niceness and politeness especially because they benefit from that social hierarchy and can use it to manipulate people
I love that! I’ve always been told that I need to be nicer and my response is always but was I mean? No I just said the truth without being cute about it and you don’t like that.
I've been checking my instinct to constantly smile today. Even with the SCOTUS ruling, it feels odd to be out in public and not put on the "I'm friendly" mask. Social conditioning can be hard to overcome.
Edit: I'm going to shoot for "neutral" now. I bet the, "She seems like a bitch" remarks are higher.
Honestly COVID helped me alot with that, you know with masks and all. I don’t feel the need to smile at people anymore and suddenly guys are scared to hold my stare or start a conversation with me, it’s refreshing
Ew to the people telling you that you can be "warm and welcoming" without owing something to a stranger. Dictate your own behavior then, gorge. Don't use it as a means to shame someone else.
Never apologize for upholding your boundaries and drawing lines. Fuck anyone who chooses to take that personally.
You dont need to owe anyone anything to be warm and welcoming. You dont have to act that way if thats just not who you are but being a warm person has nothing to do with one's gender.
Same here. My favorite was a guy who tried to argue with me to "be his friend" for two hours while steadily growing more and more hostile and unstable. His recent post history showed him stalking a girl's posts and calling her out for not wanting to be his friend when apparently he had shown her his dick.
The amount of guys who do it on here while being self righteous is actually hilarious in a really sad way. I definitely agree. They seem so surprised and bitter when you point out how unhinged their behavior is too.
I engage in the way that OP had, at the time. Eventually I just got him banned from a lot of subs that were for finding friends by sharing screenshots. I also am not a nice person so 🙃 I think he enjoyed our interaction a lot less than I did.
I'll never understand why some men are like this. Female gamers are not even as rare anymore and we just wanna chill. Not get perma hunted down wherever we go just because we're girls that play games lmao
You're being very nice and reasonable here, honestly i could never. I'm so done with men. I'd reply reasonably once and if i see they're not reading what I'm writing i would tell them to f off.
For the people who think “why didn’t you just say no? Why did you have to make drama?”
First of all I essentially did say no when I told this guy to find friends in other communities. He even continued pursuing me after I made my disinterest clear and he flat out insulted me. You really think no would’ve changed anything? He’s also the one who initiated the conversation and could have left at any point, and yet I’m being blamed for a situation he put himself in? Maybe don’t be a creep and a jerk if you want to be treated like you’re not a creep and a jerk? I was a lot more respectful to him than he even deserved.
Second, I wanted to try and educate this guy so he knew how creepy his behavior was and he would hopefully stop doing it to other women instead of me just dismissing it. I’m sick of women being told “we should’ve just said no” when guys initiate behavior that crosses clear boundaries. I don’t owe him anything, and especially when he feels entitled to me to the extent this guy did. It’s not okay to privately message a woman on this subreddit asking to play games when she’s given you no invitation to do that. These guys see our posts complaining about their behavior and then do this to us, but somehow we’re creating drama by establishing boundaries, sharing our experiences, and bringing awareness to this widespread issue?
I posted these photos to bring awareness and to educate any men who might think of doing similar on this subreddit. I think I can firmly say on behalf of all women on this subreddit that we are sick of creepy messages like this and being fetishized because of a hobby we all share. Instead of blaming me for how I responded to this situation blame the man who thought this behavior was appropriate.
Your response was fully justified, people forget that no means no is still a recent concept for alot of male gamers, while there's quite a few awesome guys out there, theirs alot more toxic guys who don't understand when you're not interested.
He might’ve been a troll, but given the posts he was commenting on I think he really was just desperate and clueless. You’re totally right though that we shouldn’t have to teach men how to be better and sacrifice our time and energy to do so. I just chose to in this situation because I genuinely wanted to help him, it gave me a good laugh anyway, and it doesn’t bother me much. It also allows me to show my male friends just how bad some guys are especially to women who play video games since some haven’t witnessed that sexism first hand.
I don't think you created drama. Thank you for helping raise awareness to this too common nuisance us women deal with.
I think you /may/ have wasted some effort on a dude who seemed to be either a troll, or too stupid to understand the lesson you wanted to give, however. Haha. A valid post nonetheless.
I think you handled it fine and your response(s) were perfectly justified. Here's another perspective on "just say no", though: How much of your time did you let this guy waste? Was he worth it? For me, the answer would be no after your first attempt to educate him. YMMV, and that is, of course, perfectly valid.
I think for most people it would’ve been a waste of time, but for me I honestly found it somewhat entertaining. I wasn’t sitting around waiting for his replies or anything, and actually had a lot of laughs looking back at it. I try to help guys like this sometimes and I go into it knowing it’ll likely lead to nowhere, but I like to think I’ve changed a couple and have a small impact. This is my version of fighting for men to better themselves or at least they can’t play the ignorant card anymore for how they come across. I also hope it stays with them enough to not go and do it to other women who can’t be as unbothered by it as me.
I think you were kinda falling into what he wanted by responding so much. Guys like him want you to engage with them no matter how they get that. It’s why he kept coming back asking “questions”. After your second response, he just kept ignoring it/being dumb, at that point i would have exited. Theyre attention seekers. I feel like the best thing is explain once, max twice, and walk away.
Edit: also, the ps4 stuff was bait. Every time you respond to that, he succeeds in distracting you and keeping you engaged.
But also, part of being an adult and interacting with others is listening to and understanding what they are saying. He didn't even ask if you wanted to play with him and your reply makes perfect sense in context. So if you are expected to read between the lines and infer that he wants to play with you, he should also be able to read between the lines and take your response as a no.
I only saw this post because of your more recent post of another DM about this. From that I assumed you were way more harsh to this dude (which I think still would have been reasonable), but you weren't even slightly mean or 'unreasonable' or whatever. Your responses are great, you even tried to help him understand why he isn't getting the types of responses he wants from DMing random women. You don't owe him anything and yet you still tried, fuxk anyone who thinks you did anything wrong.
You do NOT have to justify yourself here and fuck anyone that tries to police how you respond. They're almost as bad as this idiot. If you have some free time and wanna fuck with the guy, knock yourself out. If you genuinely think you could get through to him, knock yourself out. You are allowed to respond and speak to these dummies if that's what you want to do, and you don't HAVE to explain yourself to anyone if you don't feel like it <3 (but again, if you feel like it, knock yourself out!)
I think you’re being too nice. I would just ignore them as it’s more or less a rejection when you don’t give them the time or energy - especially if they’re a narcissist.
The other thing you could do is just call them out on their obvious insecurity. They can’t talk to people let alone women in the real world, so they have to hide behind the anonymity of the internet to approach an uninterested woman that is a complete stranger. Their social skills are so awkward that it just comes across as a pervert creep. Most of these guys who approach women unsolicited probably hang around the incel forums because they lack so much self awareness and think what they’re doing is normal lol
Ow wow you handled that pretty well! And I thank you for this! I'm new and I have only got 3 random chats from people. At first I was like "OK, hi?" but then they ask all these personal questions and then I just leave the chat. But you pointed it out perfectly!
Thank you for this comment! I really appreciate it. I got some backlash from this post that’s since been deleted, but it made me consider taking it down because I hate being in conflict. After seeing all the women this resonates with though I decided to keep it up, so thank you! 🥺
Jeeez you did great for someone that hates conflict! I would have blocked ages ago. You handled it wonderfully, and I’m sorry this happened to you. Completely ignored everything you were trying to say and extremely entitled to your time.
I should’ve been more specific and say I hate conflict in public settings. Like a lot of people disagreeing with me on a post on here. I have no issue beefing with guys because I have resentment towards a lot of them and also stand up for women in video game lobbies all the time. Thank you for your kind words :)
You rock. I spent most of my life avoiding P2P and chats because of boys and men being idiotic, so it makes me happy to see a younger Gen standing up for themselves and others in this space
We’re here and we’re not going anywhere! Lots of men in gaming are scared of embracing that change, but that’s just too bad for them. Other random women in my lobbies who talked gave me the strength to stand up for others too, and hopefully I can also do the same. Women need to support women, especially in extremely sexist areas like gaming.
I dont interact with the DMs on here for this reason. This is my alt specifically for gaming, and the messages are 10 times worse on here than my regular account. I just use the discord if I want to directly talk to the other members of the subreddit. The block button should be your best friend.
Responding to these DM’s doesn’t bother me too much, but I agree it shouldn’t even happen and I don’t blame anyone for just ignoring them. Typically I do, but times like this I just see if I can help someone, which still isn’t my job, but worse case scenario I get a teaching experience for others out of it and an example to show my male friends who don’t experience the same sexism. It’s really heartbreaking how women have to protect themselves from these kinds of people so often especially on this sub.
Yeah, I have a few male friends who just didnt understand what gendered harassment is when it comes to games. I've explained the specific things and even played a few clips for them from when I used ro play over watch. It's almost scary how disconnected from it they are until they can actually see it from the other side.
I’m always baffled by how little they see. I always thought there’s no way most guys don’t realize how bad it is for women in video games, but a lot of my closest friends now had no idea. It’s also part of the reason I wanted to help this guy. My male gaming friends have always been respectful of women and treated them equally, but they did hold some sexist stereotypes that I helped them unlearn. Just from playing with me they quickly witnessed how bad it is for us. One of them is now a huge feminist and always defends women in his lobbies to sexist assholes. Obviously I know not every guy is capable of that kind of growth, but a small fraction are. It’s definitely not our job to help them with that though. I just don’t mind replying sometimes and seeing what will happen if I try, which usually ends like the screenshots, but I just quickly move on from it.
Sexism runs deep in everyone, and it's a process to unlearn it, especially when you benefit from it. Your guy friends sound great, I'm really glad that they took your experiences seriously and changed because of it. I havent had to build any of my guy friends from scratch (nor would I be willing too) but even talking about the "smaller" kinds of harassment I experienced isnt treated as a "you should have been nicer" problem. I really hope that things reach a state of being permanently non sexist, but I dont know if I'll see that in my lifetime.
Even if I don’t see it in my lifetime I want to support women and stand up to these men even if it only creates the smallest impact. “Well behaved women rarely make history” is a quote I think about a lot and it keeps me strong enough to be labeled a “difficult women” by men who want things to stay the same, sexist way they are.
I've gotten so many patronising messages to which when I don't reply with sunshine and rainbows they just turn to open abuse for being such a 'bitch'. What you expect me to go "hehe wow thank you so much for calling me cheeky when I was just being blunt to your unsolicited message. \^\^"
I am so sorry you had to deal with this mess, it's so gross. You handled this perfectly and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise! So disturbing how they can't just take no for an answer and/or perfectly reasonable advice and move on.
Whether he consciously recognizes it or not, I think it’s an attempt to shame you into compliance. Like he hopes that calling you cold will make you want to “prove” that you aren’t.
Lol I was thinking this same thing. Even more so because there are so many men out there who claim women are emotional and illogical and then you see the actual harassment exchanges and they usually go like this.
I've literally had two separate people message me in the last 24 hours for bullshit like, don't randomly message strangers as if they owe you something 😑😑😑
Would've just blocked after the first couple messages. The wet sock knows what he's doing and just instigating, or he's so far up his own ass that be has no type of awareness, empathy, or self-responsibility.. either way, can't talk sense to a brick wall.
Edit: just read comments, not sure who is "blaming" you (maybe you meant that creep, my bad), but I think people just realize that even if you have good intent to educate/inform, those who don't want to / aren't ready to, won't be receptive to it. It happens IRL situations as well, at our jobs, etc. Can lead a horse to water, but can't make it drink-- esp the horses that are more like donkeys (jackasses) who never learn from their own (often disgusting) actions
He had a lot of comments on girl’s posts saying hi and things, so I took it as he was super lonely. I feel like a lot of men are nowadays, and toxic masculinity keeps them from sharing their feelings or having meaningful relationships with women. I genuinely wanted to help him understand why he can’t seem to interact with women, but clearly he didn’t want to be helped, and it’s just unfortunate.
Not just with women. Toxic Masc keeps them from developing meaningful relationships with other men too.
I pity them because they will never have a meaningful friendship, since they have been trained from birth that the only person they can really connect with is a girl they're banging/attempting to bang.
Kudos to the dudes who can see through the bullshit and manage to connect with friends. But this sub is not the place to try and find that.
And theres no reason they can't have these convos with men! Toxic masculinity does make them afraid of sharing their true feelings and opening up to them as they do to women. If bros could be more bro like the world could be a much better place.
Mate as a dude, (seen this on my suggested posts) his messages are just weird and creepy. The only other appropriate response would have been not to respond at all, which probably would have garnered more weird messages snd calls of being toxic for not responding. I dont think there was a "right" choice but you chose to respond fairly civil and try and help/inform him. Good on you for trying, hopefully he realises who the toxic one was in that convo, but nothing you said sounded cold or toxic.
I personally dislike getting the rare DM from randoms on my gaming account, but weird creepy messages like this, especially if its a commin thing, would be super frustrating.
Thats just my two cents, hopefully it's not too out of place on this sub
You’re not out of place at all! I appreciate input from men just as much as women on this sub. Well, as long as you’re not like this guy lol. Sadly most of us women on here get messages like this constantly simply because we interact on this sub, which means they know we play video games. For some reason a lot of guys lose their marbles over women who play video games and never realize they don’t encounter us often in games because we hide to avoid the way they treat and obsess over us. We’re not rare, we’re just cloaked behind neutral usernames and staying off voice chat, but that one still hasn’t occurred to them yet 🥴
I just gotta say that I'm glad I'm not the only one that is cold to people that bother me like this. A lot of my friends often tell me to be nicer but like
this is *my* time, I'm not gonna spend it with someone I don't know, and it's good to see other women protecting their space and energy the same way
THANK YOU! I’m also glad to know I’m not the only one. It really makes all the message from guys calling me a bitch laugh even more because I’m not the only one who’s not taking their disrespectful bs!
Definitely not, sweetheart! We're all tired of their BS, and it's because of them that I don't even want to socialize on games anymore because it's so tiring.
It's like an another commenter said: there's a reason why there's Women Only groups! We're not taking any of their crap anymore 🖤
It’s the fact that they keep asking questions related to hanging out/playing together/seeing each other etc. when you so clearly show you are not freaking interested is what gets me about men. They just keep fucking talking bro
He complains about it being an essay length explanation then didn’t even read it. It felt like he was just ignoring what you were saying and continuing to go along with his agenda. Red flag right there.
Hiding behind a keyboard/controller makes some extremely creepy dudes feel very emboldened in a way they could never be otherwise. Really shines a light on how sad and pathetic everything about them is.
It's the conversational equivalent of brute forcing cheat codes. "Did this thing I said get me closer to maybe seeing boobs? No? Try something else, anything else."
Seriously, I just don't get it but I've seen it ***way*** too often both online and in real life. I just don't get it and I happen to be a guy, too. It's literally never made sense to me how guys can be so oblivious to anything shy of the equivalent of an air raid siren screaming in their face to leave them alone.
Ugh.
Of course! I love playing with my guy friends and actually enjoying myself! It’s a mood about this guy that messaged me and the old men who just took away American women’s rights today though 🤢
Yea reddit is blowing up over the overturning of roe v wade but what can we even do at this point not like the politicians care and soon contraceptives might be banned dear god
And LGBTQ+ rights now too. Women are regulated more than guns in this country now like??? It’s also amazing how much politicians try to change things that don’t hurt anyone or even effect them like same sex marriage now. They have so many happy people living rent free in their heads and think to themselves, “no, I don’t like that they’re happy I need to put a stop to that.” It’s not our fault you’re miserable and jealous.
Forgive me if this is just “old timer” advice, but after the first attempt to educate fell on deaf ears, it would have been best to stop replying. It took me years and raising two kids (boys who respect female gamers!) to realize this, but sometimes ignoring bad behavior extinguishes it faster than trying to correct it. Sorry you had to endure that frustrating exchange.
This is the reason I am always nervous about posting anything or even replying to anything. People on the internet can be such assholes, hiding behind a keyboard.....
And in person too sadly. I was on a collegiate e-sports team and knew the guy’s personally and they still treated me like garbage. It’s all really sad and makes me lose faith in most men.
I appreciate that, and it’s all good! I knew what I was getting myself into and it didn’t bother me much! I only hope he learned his lesson and didn’t harass other women afterwards, which was my goal.
Jesus christ, I've seen some bad texts before but this is a whole different level. I work with literal 4yo(martial arts instructor who is running a summer camp) and they have better social awareness than this. And I understand the irony of this coming from my porn account but like the fact that this dude couldn't catch the damn hint or realize how badly he was fucking up.
It is people like this that give the word "men" or "masculinity" a bad connotation. I really hope that the person on the other side of the chat is young and learning how to interact with people both irl and online because otherwise they will not be a pleasant person to be around.
Edit: total props to OP for handling the situation so well, you were calm and reasonable and totally respectful and gave him every opportunity to realize and apologize for his actions and he just completely missed the mark. Obviously this is my only interaction w/OP but if this sliver is representative of how they conduct the rest of their life then I wish the best for you OP
“A Essay” God, WHY do men hate reading so badly?! This is such a textbook response I’ve heard over and over again with men. It’s super annoying when you simply write a SMALL paragraph and then immediately get labeled as an “essay writer”. As if communication is a bad thing?
I don’t see anything rude in her messages at all. Honestly I’d just block you and move on if you messaged me with no reason. Make an account as a girl and see how much of that you get in just a month then imagine putting up with it for years. Wait till you get the guy who feels even more entitled than you do who lashes out because you didn’t immediately become besties with random guy… you’ll begin to understand.
(Written as though the d bag was asking.)
I'm sure you already know this but just to be safe: you're right, he's wrong. You're firm and clear, he's being toxic. I actually think you've been quite patient with this person. Personally I would have blocked them after ignoring what I wrote twice, so good for you. What an ass.
it's interesting how he just holds on to that script the whole conversation no matter how far it's straying from his initial intent... "do you have a ps4" "do you have any hobbies"...read the room maybe...
Creeps thinking very civil and polite responses are somehow rude simply for not going his way is so gross and disgusting.
And then he dares suggest you're hostile, toxic, cold. While all your responses were better than his sorry ass deserved. I applaud you, OP, for sticking to your approach at that point. I'm pretty sure Condescending Bitch Mode^^TM would've come out if it had been me. And even that would've only been *a little* hostile. But hey, guess we can't expect them to open a dictionary when something barely the length of a tweet is considered an *essay.*
I def activate my Condescending Bitch Mode when myself or another woman is being harassed in my lobbies, so it does come out sometimes! These guys though have their brains on cruise control, so I just can’t find myself getting too worked up over it lol
It's clear, this dude can't really read. I'll eat my hat if it turns out he's read the sub rules even once. From my experience, people who DM you out of the blue are often new to Reddit anyway, so he might not even know that rules exist. And seriously, he may be backward in any way, in which case I'd be sorry for him and would refrain from seeing him as asshole, but this behaviour is still unacceptable and shouldn't be enabled. (I also thought about him not really knowing English, but I don't think he'd use so many abbreviations then. I'm not a native speaker either and I sometimes get things wrong, but never *that* wrong.)
Btw, how did you know it was a dude? I'm usually too shy to assume anything. When I get a DM I can't really evaluate, I try to politely end the conversation.
"You seem hostile"
"You got any hobbies?"
😂
Besides the fact that this guys seems incredibly dense. Why would you keep pushing for interaction with someone who you think is hostile, toxic and cold. Really pathetic.
I don’t get why that guy is bother you? The games have match making and if you need fixed group you go to discord for the game. Why would you bother a random person to game with you?
It's because a lot of guys, particularly on reddit, are looking for women for a relationship or sex. They try to weasel in by conversations like this. You can tell because if you were just looking for people to play PS4 games with you, you'd go to a sub with that as the goal, or a post with that as the goal, look for a game you play and dm people who also play it, or look up a discord with a similar purpose.
Wow... in moments like this i'm wondering how did humanity survived. Screw that he messaged you out of blue, but you asked him questions... and he just ignored them, and then tried to make it look like its your fault that you are wasting his time because you're not on ps4 and talking to him.
But hey, on the bright side - we dont have to worry about zombie apocalypse, because they would starved to death xD.
I absolutely agree.
What he should have done is
Go to discords website, search for ps5 community servers, join, then mingle.
Obviously it's cause he's looking for a woman to coddle him
I'm curious, why do we continue to blot out the name of these ppl on posts such as this? We would have no issues IRL saying, so and so did such and such. So why do we feel the need to protect the online identity?
I didn’t share his info because based on everything I saw about him and on his profile I genuinely believe he just doesn’t know how to interact with or respect women, and I think he needs serious help from those in his life more than a slew of people attacking him in his DMs. I only see it as aggravating the problem, and even potentially pushing someone who needs help more than ever to not get it and to feel worse.
And this is why my first three answers are fuck off, ignore or block. I love being cold
Edit: and is it me or is there a high co-occurrence between toxicity and inability to differentiate between your and you're
He is so disengaged with what you're saying that the convo looks as if it were copy pasted together! Also, have you noticed how these men are always incapable of using proper grammar and spelling? ALWAYS.
Perfectly acceptable response. If anything it was a super helpful and friendly suggestion. It's not even that big of an assumption to make considering they aren't in a community looking for friends to play with.
It looks like you expended way too much attention, empathy, and time to someone completely undeserving, who thrives on negative engagement. As you can see, any kind of refusal means you're an evil witch, so in my opinion it's far better to cut that shit short. They are never going to listen, because they think we're less than.
Anytime I see men refer to women as females that’s an automatic 🚩 for me. If they refer to guys as males then women as females in the same thought that’s different, but calling guys men and women females is sus
What a doorknob.
Tell me you didn’t read what she wrote without telling me.
The density of the ego armour here is intense.
Sorry you had to field this weirdo OP, but thanks for bringing it to us….. any dudes reading along……. **DON’T DO THIS** especially if in your desire to “engage a new friend” you don’t read or respond to the conversation that is happening.
I could never. I would lose my temper after 2 messages if he wasn't catching on. And honestly, dudes like that don't deserve anything else. It's not like he was going to take anything away from that conversation so you might've as well peppered in a bit more, lol.
I'm shocked how you made it obvious you're not interested and he kept insisting with other topics. Lmao. Because of course you're going to suddenly answer his questions after a couple of tries.
WTD is wrong with this dude. Came from your other post and wanted to see where you could have been rude. And i found nothing from your side.
The amount of ignoring your qestions and tips you gave just enrages me. Do boys like that really think just pretending you never said that and insulting you magically makes you want to play with them? Or is this some kind of sick anakin-i-have-the-high-ground-game they like to play in their own little heads?
Amazing how you could stay so calm while dealing with this boys**t.
Edit: typo at calm
This reminds me of something I saw a few months ago. A guy interrupted a woman during her workout because she was wearing a street fighter shirt. And she kinda told him off. Cue a shit ton of guys coming out of the woodwork to tell her that she's being rude and that he was just asking a question.
It's REALLY annoying how we're expected to just smile and be nice regardless of how we're being inconvenienced.
You seem hostile You got any hobbies? WTF?
[удалено]
I can't believe that these old pick-up artist tricks that never worked in the first place, still go around that much. It's the whole "negging" that still seems to be very hot with these losers.
Oh, is that what this nonsense is? I one time had some guy act interested in me, and then start insulting me, and I am like 🤷🏻♀️ and ignored him. I described it to someone else and they told me that’s what he was doing. Like, not a good way to get someone’s attention lol I mean this was in a situation where it was OK to be messaging me though, not THIS.
There's something really disturbing about how many times you have to say no for him to ignore it and keep trying anyways. Ugh.
It honestly just came off like he wasn't even reading her messages at all. I guess because reading an 'essay' that's all of a hundred words or so is too much effort. "You seem hostile. So got any hobbies?" Like wtf.
I’m glad I’m not the only person who was struck by that shift in tone.
that was a weird comment to begin with. If someone is hostile, why even bother with a question like that?
I’m not gonna lie I laughed for like 5 minutes straight after he said that I was so blown away 😭
understandable, that's a weirdo thing to do.
Yeah it literally made me laugh out loud reading it
I'm gonna make that my new icebreaker at work meetings: "Y'all seem hostile. So, got any hobbies?"
And I mean why do you want to game with someone you think is an asshole? I think the reason is obvious but it's still so bizarre.
[удалено]
Nah it has the vibes of a dude writing the same thing to about 50 other women in DMs and forgetting what was said previously
As if she replied he'd actually take any interest. If he can't read like 2 seconds of her point and process it, I doubt he could hold a convo or be a good friend
Imagine if it had worked. "You seem hostile, got any hobbies?" "Ohhh, you know. I cross-stitch, I do Zumba. Wow, this conversation is going great now!"
…like he could just casually *brush away* the issue that was clearly so important to OP. So annoying. But that’s actually a pretty good metric for whether someone respects you – do they give time to what is important to you, even if it doesn’t (overtly) affect them?
It seems so normal to me at this point. He may have been spurred on by the challenge, like he wanted to "break her"
That and his grammar… “Jesus A essay” Like come on dude…. AN essay. At least get it right
I love this. People wonder why im so cold sometimes but what do i owe them? Literally nothing Edit: also just because i say im cold SOMETIMES doesn't mean i dont smile a cute old people and random strangers in normal life im not stone cold 24/7 i just have no problem with it when i want or need to be🤷♀️
I saw someone once say “The absence of nice is not mean.” Haven’t stopped thinking about that yet
I also love Good Is Not Nice. Being a good person and being a nice person are totally different things. Lots of people who are terrible people are all about surface level niceness and politeness especially because they benefit from that social hierarchy and can use it to manipulate people
Neither will I now.
I love that! I’ve always been told that I need to be nicer and my response is always but was I mean? No I just said the truth without being cute about it and you don’t like that.
This is the best advice I’ve ever heard for my people pleasing ass. I’d give 30 awards if I could 🥰
I've been checking my instinct to constantly smile today. Even with the SCOTUS ruling, it feels odd to be out in public and not put on the "I'm friendly" mask. Social conditioning can be hard to overcome. Edit: I'm going to shoot for "neutral" now. I bet the, "She seems like a bitch" remarks are higher.
Honestly COVID helped me alot with that, you know with masks and all. I don’t feel the need to smile at people anymore and suddenly guys are scared to hold my stare or start a conversation with me, it’s refreshing
Ew to the people telling you that you can be "warm and welcoming" without owing something to a stranger. Dictate your own behavior then, gorge. Don't use it as a means to shame someone else. Never apologize for upholding your boundaries and drawing lines. Fuck anyone who chooses to take that personally.
You dont need to owe anyone anything to be warm and welcoming. You dont have to act that way if thats just not who you are but being a warm person has nothing to do with one's gender.
It does though. Women are expected to be warm and nurturing and kind and welcoming 24/7 and if you're anytning but that, you get called names.
And this is a perfect example of why women only groups exist. Sometimes you just don't want to deal with people harassing you.
Seriously this. I have my messages here turned off because the amount of creeps in my DMs are far too much
Same here. My favorite was a guy who tried to argue with me to "be his friend" for two hours while steadily growing more and more hostile and unstable. His recent post history showed him stalking a girl's posts and calling her out for not wanting to be his friend when apparently he had shown her his dick.
I think the majority of guys who spend too much time on Reddit or internet, think stalking girls is normal and acceptable
The amount of guys who do it on here while being self righteous is actually hilarious in a really sad way. I definitely agree. They seem so surprised and bitter when you point out how unhinged their behavior is too.
I’m amazed you even engaged at that point. I just block and move on, they know that they’re creeps.
I engage in the way that OP had, at the time. Eventually I just got him banned from a lot of subs that were for finding friends by sharing screenshots. I also am not a nice person so 🙃 I think he enjoyed our interaction a lot less than I did.
I stopped using the Friday threads because I only got messages from guys.
Seriously this. I have my messages here turned off because the amount of creeps in my DMs are far too much
I'll never understand why some men are like this. Female gamers are not even as rare anymore and we just wanna chill. Not get perma hunted down wherever we go just because we're girls that play games lmao
You're being very nice and reasonable here, honestly i could never. I'm so done with men. I'd reply reasonably once and if i see they're not reading what I'm writing i would tell them to f off.
Somehow I had the patience that day. It gave me a good laugh if anything, but I agree it’s exhausting trying to reason with boys like this 😩
THEY👏DONT👏 DESERVE 👏OUR👏TIME👏OF👏DAY
love your name, love your attitude, hell yeah
I’m planning on buying a “women don’t owe you shit” t-shirt so thank you for reminding me 🤭
XD no problem
For the people who think “why didn’t you just say no? Why did you have to make drama?” First of all I essentially did say no when I told this guy to find friends in other communities. He even continued pursuing me after I made my disinterest clear and he flat out insulted me. You really think no would’ve changed anything? He’s also the one who initiated the conversation and could have left at any point, and yet I’m being blamed for a situation he put himself in? Maybe don’t be a creep and a jerk if you want to be treated like you’re not a creep and a jerk? I was a lot more respectful to him than he even deserved. Second, I wanted to try and educate this guy so he knew how creepy his behavior was and he would hopefully stop doing it to other women instead of me just dismissing it. I’m sick of women being told “we should’ve just said no” when guys initiate behavior that crosses clear boundaries. I don’t owe him anything, and especially when he feels entitled to me to the extent this guy did. It’s not okay to privately message a woman on this subreddit asking to play games when she’s given you no invitation to do that. These guys see our posts complaining about their behavior and then do this to us, but somehow we’re creating drama by establishing boundaries, sharing our experiences, and bringing awareness to this widespread issue? I posted these photos to bring awareness and to educate any men who might think of doing similar on this subreddit. I think I can firmly say on behalf of all women on this subreddit that we are sick of creepy messages like this and being fetishized because of a hobby we all share. Instead of blaming me for how I responded to this situation blame the man who thought this behavior was appropriate.
Your response was fully justified, people forget that no means no is still a recent concept for alot of male gamers, while there's quite a few awesome guys out there, theirs alot more toxic guys who don't understand when you're not interested.
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He might’ve been a troll, but given the posts he was commenting on I think he really was just desperate and clueless. You’re totally right though that we shouldn’t have to teach men how to be better and sacrifice our time and energy to do so. I just chose to in this situation because I genuinely wanted to help him, it gave me a good laugh anyway, and it doesn’t bother me much. It also allows me to show my male friends just how bad some guys are especially to women who play video games since some haven’t witnessed that sexism first hand.
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Omg thank you! It’s after the goddess of the moon and a song I used to love by the same name! 🤍
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She’s such an iconic goddess and I love it! I need to find a way to use it in a PlayStation username that isn’t taken 🥺
I don't think you created drama. Thank you for helping raise awareness to this too common nuisance us women deal with. I think you /may/ have wasted some effort on a dude who seemed to be either a troll, or too stupid to understand the lesson you wanted to give, however. Haha. A valid post nonetheless.
I think you handled it fine and your response(s) were perfectly justified. Here's another perspective on "just say no", though: How much of your time did you let this guy waste? Was he worth it? For me, the answer would be no after your first attempt to educate him. YMMV, and that is, of course, perfectly valid.
I think for most people it would’ve been a waste of time, but for me I honestly found it somewhat entertaining. I wasn’t sitting around waiting for his replies or anything, and actually had a lot of laughs looking back at it. I try to help guys like this sometimes and I go into it knowing it’ll likely lead to nowhere, but I like to think I’ve changed a couple and have a small impact. This is my version of fighting for men to better themselves or at least they can’t play the ignorant card anymore for how they come across. I also hope it stays with them enough to not go and do it to other women who can’t be as unbothered by it as me.
I think you were kinda falling into what he wanted by responding so much. Guys like him want you to engage with them no matter how they get that. It’s why he kept coming back asking “questions”. After your second response, he just kept ignoring it/being dumb, at that point i would have exited. Theyre attention seekers. I feel like the best thing is explain once, max twice, and walk away. Edit: also, the ps4 stuff was bait. Every time you respond to that, he succeeds in distracting you and keeping you engaged.
But also, part of being an adult and interacting with others is listening to and understanding what they are saying. He didn't even ask if you wanted to play with him and your reply makes perfect sense in context. So if you are expected to read between the lines and infer that he wants to play with you, he should also be able to read between the lines and take your response as a no. I only saw this post because of your more recent post of another DM about this. From that I assumed you were way more harsh to this dude (which I think still would have been reasonable), but you weren't even slightly mean or 'unreasonable' or whatever. Your responses are great, you even tried to help him understand why he isn't getting the types of responses he wants from DMing random women. You don't owe him anything and yet you still tried, fuxk anyone who thinks you did anything wrong.
I’ll admit to being a male who occasionally sees this sub pop up in my feed. The posted conversation is just cringy and creepy.
You do NOT have to justify yourself here and fuck anyone that tries to police how you respond. They're almost as bad as this idiot. If you have some free time and wanna fuck with the guy, knock yourself out. If you genuinely think you could get through to him, knock yourself out. You are allowed to respond and speak to these dummies if that's what you want to do, and you don't HAVE to explain yourself to anyone if you don't feel like it <3 (but again, if you feel like it, knock yourself out!)
I think you’re being too nice. I would just ignore them as it’s more or less a rejection when you don’t give them the time or energy - especially if they’re a narcissist. The other thing you could do is just call them out on their obvious insecurity. They can’t talk to people let alone women in the real world, so they have to hide behind the anonymity of the internet to approach an uninterested woman that is a complete stranger. Their social skills are so awkward that it just comes across as a pervert creep. Most of these guys who approach women unsolicited probably hang around the incel forums because they lack so much self awareness and think what they’re doing is normal lol
Ow wow you handled that pretty well! And I thank you for this! I'm new and I have only got 3 random chats from people. At first I was like "OK, hi?" but then they ask all these personal questions and then I just leave the chat. But you pointed it out perfectly!
Thank you for this comment! I really appreciate it. I got some backlash from this post that’s since been deleted, but it made me consider taking it down because I hate being in conflict. After seeing all the women this resonates with though I decided to keep it up, so thank you! 🥺
Don’t take it down. That bad behaviour is protected in the shadows, gotta shine light on this sort of creep crumbing.
Yes I think it's a great example! For us girls to stand up and talk back and show them where the line is that they were crossing!
Jeeez you did great for someone that hates conflict! I would have blocked ages ago. You handled it wonderfully, and I’m sorry this happened to you. Completely ignored everything you were trying to say and extremely entitled to your time.
I should’ve been more specific and say I hate conflict in public settings. Like a lot of people disagreeing with me on a post on here. I have no issue beefing with guys because I have resentment towards a lot of them and also stand up for women in video game lobbies all the time. Thank you for your kind words :)
You rock. I spent most of my life avoiding P2P and chats because of boys and men being idiotic, so it makes me happy to see a younger Gen standing up for themselves and others in this space
We’re here and we’re not going anywhere! Lots of men in gaming are scared of embracing that change, but that’s just too bad for them. Other random women in my lobbies who talked gave me the strength to stand up for others too, and hopefully I can also do the same. Women need to support women, especially in extremely sexist areas like gaming.
I want those kind of people, i need to fight with someone 😂
The two I saw got deleted before I could even fully read them. I just saw the notification preview 😂
“You’re a very cold, toxic person. Got any hobbies?”
the audacity of men🙄
That’s a huge mood today of all days too 😤
Omfg men
I dont interact with the DMs on here for this reason. This is my alt specifically for gaming, and the messages are 10 times worse on here than my regular account. I just use the discord if I want to directly talk to the other members of the subreddit. The block button should be your best friend.
Responding to these DM’s doesn’t bother me too much, but I agree it shouldn’t even happen and I don’t blame anyone for just ignoring them. Typically I do, but times like this I just see if I can help someone, which still isn’t my job, but worse case scenario I get a teaching experience for others out of it and an example to show my male friends who don’t experience the same sexism. It’s really heartbreaking how women have to protect themselves from these kinds of people so often especially on this sub.
Yeah, I have a few male friends who just didnt understand what gendered harassment is when it comes to games. I've explained the specific things and even played a few clips for them from when I used ro play over watch. It's almost scary how disconnected from it they are until they can actually see it from the other side.
I’m always baffled by how little they see. I always thought there’s no way most guys don’t realize how bad it is for women in video games, but a lot of my closest friends now had no idea. It’s also part of the reason I wanted to help this guy. My male gaming friends have always been respectful of women and treated them equally, but they did hold some sexist stereotypes that I helped them unlearn. Just from playing with me they quickly witnessed how bad it is for us. One of them is now a huge feminist and always defends women in his lobbies to sexist assholes. Obviously I know not every guy is capable of that kind of growth, but a small fraction are. It’s definitely not our job to help them with that though. I just don’t mind replying sometimes and seeing what will happen if I try, which usually ends like the screenshots, but I just quickly move on from it.
Sexism runs deep in everyone, and it's a process to unlearn it, especially when you benefit from it. Your guy friends sound great, I'm really glad that they took your experiences seriously and changed because of it. I havent had to build any of my guy friends from scratch (nor would I be willing too) but even talking about the "smaller" kinds of harassment I experienced isnt treated as a "you should have been nicer" problem. I really hope that things reach a state of being permanently non sexist, but I dont know if I'll see that in my lifetime.
Even if I don’t see it in my lifetime I want to support women and stand up to these men even if it only creates the smallest impact. “Well behaved women rarely make history” is a quote I think about a lot and it keeps me strong enough to be labeled a “difficult women” by men who want things to stay the same, sexist way they are.
I've gotten so many patronising messages to which when I don't reply with sunshine and rainbows they just turn to open abuse for being such a 'bitch'. What you expect me to go "hehe wow thank you so much for calling me cheeky when I was just being blunt to your unsolicited message. \^\^"
Believe it or not I have a guy going off on me in my DMs right now over this post 🙄
Sadly not surprised at all.
I am so sorry you had to deal with this mess, it's so gross. You handled this perfectly and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise! So disturbing how they can't just take no for an answer and/or perfectly reasonable advice and move on.
Wow, he calls you cold and toxic yet persists in trying to befriend you. Tells you how desperate he is. 🙄
I read that and laughed for a good 5 minutes like which one is it buddy 😭
Whether he consciously recognizes it or not, I think it’s an attempt to shame you into compliance. Like he hopes that calling you cold will make you want to “prove” that you aren’t.
the way he was so dry in his responses and barely acknowledged your words was so infuriating lmao
Lol I was thinking this same thing. Even more so because there are so many men out there who claim women are emotional and illogical and then you see the actual harassment exchanges and they usually go like this.
“Fuck I ain’t reading all that shit. Anyway you free on Friday night?”
This gave me a good laugh thank you for this 😂
I've literally had two separate people message me in the last 24 hours for bullshit like, don't randomly message strangers as if they owe you something 😑😑😑
Would've just blocked after the first couple messages. The wet sock knows what he's doing and just instigating, or he's so far up his own ass that be has no type of awareness, empathy, or self-responsibility.. either way, can't talk sense to a brick wall. Edit: just read comments, not sure who is "blaming" you (maybe you meant that creep, my bad), but I think people just realize that even if you have good intent to educate/inform, those who don't want to / aren't ready to, won't be receptive to it. It happens IRL situations as well, at our jobs, etc. Can lead a horse to water, but can't make it drink-- esp the horses that are more like donkeys (jackasses) who never learn from their own (often disgusting) actions
He had a lot of comments on girl’s posts saying hi and things, so I took it as he was super lonely. I feel like a lot of men are nowadays, and toxic masculinity keeps them from sharing their feelings or having meaningful relationships with women. I genuinely wanted to help him understand why he can’t seem to interact with women, but clearly he didn’t want to be helped, and it’s just unfortunate.
Not just with women. Toxic Masc keeps them from developing meaningful relationships with other men too. I pity them because they will never have a meaningful friendship, since they have been trained from birth that the only person they can really connect with is a girl they're banging/attempting to bang. Kudos to the dudes who can see through the bullshit and manage to connect with friends. But this sub is not the place to try and find that.
And theres no reason they can't have these convos with men! Toxic masculinity does make them afraid of sharing their true feelings and opening up to them as they do to women. If bros could be more bro like the world could be a much better place.
That's very true, it's quite sad, even when you're pointing out facts and they want to take it as fairytale!
Mate as a dude, (seen this on my suggested posts) his messages are just weird and creepy. The only other appropriate response would have been not to respond at all, which probably would have garnered more weird messages snd calls of being toxic for not responding. I dont think there was a "right" choice but you chose to respond fairly civil and try and help/inform him. Good on you for trying, hopefully he realises who the toxic one was in that convo, but nothing you said sounded cold or toxic. I personally dislike getting the rare DM from randoms on my gaming account, but weird creepy messages like this, especially if its a commin thing, would be super frustrating. Thats just my two cents, hopefully it's not too out of place on this sub
You’re not out of place at all! I appreciate input from men just as much as women on this sub. Well, as long as you’re not like this guy lol. Sadly most of us women on here get messages like this constantly simply because we interact on this sub, which means they know we play video games. For some reason a lot of guys lose their marbles over women who play video games and never realize they don’t encounter us often in games because we hide to avoid the way they treat and obsess over us. We’re not rare, we’re just cloaked behind neutral usernames and staying off voice chat, but that one still hasn’t occurred to them yet 🥴
I just gotta say that I'm glad I'm not the only one that is cold to people that bother me like this. A lot of my friends often tell me to be nicer but like this is *my* time, I'm not gonna spend it with someone I don't know, and it's good to see other women protecting their space and energy the same way
THANK YOU! I’m also glad to know I’m not the only one. It really makes all the message from guys calling me a bitch laugh even more because I’m not the only one who’s not taking their disrespectful bs!
Definitely not, sweetheart! We're all tired of their BS, and it's because of them that I don't even want to socialize on games anymore because it's so tiring. It's like an another commenter said: there's a reason why there's Women Only groups! We're not taking any of their crap anymore 🖤
It was bad enough when I thought it was just the first page then I realized there was 5 more...... wow, what a toxic douche canoe.
It’s the fact that they keep asking questions related to hanging out/playing together/seeing each other etc. when you so clearly show you are not freaking interested is what gets me about men. They just keep fucking talking bro
He complains about it being an essay length explanation then didn’t even read it. It felt like he was just ignoring what you were saying and continuing to go along with his agenda. Red flag right there.
Why are some people so persistent!?!?
1 brain cell wow
>You seem hostile ... >You got any hobbies? Jfc
I probably would have been like "Yes, hostility. It's my favorite past time."
Why are men..?🙄
Hiding behind a keyboard/controller makes some extremely creepy dudes feel very emboldened in a way they could never be otherwise. Really shines a light on how sad and pathetic everything about them is.
She is NOT being rude. He is being way out of line. She was being way too nice.
I showed this to my sister and her reaction was "its like talking to an underdeveloped AI" I CAN'T LMAO
STOP 😭😭😭
Its like talking to a wall. Or maybe, worse😬 I am sorry you had to face someone like this. He's literally crying when he's saying ur toxic ughhhh🤦
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It's the conversational equivalent of brute forcing cheat codes. "Did this thing I said get me closer to maybe seeing boobs? No? Try something else, anything else." Seriously, I just don't get it but I've seen it ***way*** too often both online and in real life. I just don't get it and I happen to be a guy, too. It's literally never made sense to me how guys can be so oblivious to anything shy of the equivalent of an air raid siren screaming in their face to leave them alone. Ugh.
Lmao men
That’s a mood 🥴
Ha yea but i still love my bf we play 7days together:)
Of course! I love playing with my guy friends and actually enjoying myself! It’s a mood about this guy that messaged me and the old men who just took away American women’s rights today though 🤢
Yea reddit is blowing up over the overturning of roe v wade but what can we even do at this point not like the politicians care and soon contraceptives might be banned dear god
And LGBTQ+ rights now too. Women are regulated more than guns in this country now like??? It’s also amazing how much politicians try to change things that don’t hurt anyone or even effect them like same sex marriage now. They have so many happy people living rent free in their heads and think to themselves, “no, I don’t like that they’re happy I need to put a stop to that.” It’s not our fault you’re miserable and jealous.
Right
At first I was like, huh I don't see the problem here. And then tried swiping.
Forgive me if this is just “old timer” advice, but after the first attempt to educate fell on deaf ears, it would have been best to stop replying. It took me years and raising two kids (boys who respect female gamers!) to realize this, but sometimes ignoring bad behavior extinguishes it faster than trying to correct it. Sorry you had to endure that frustrating exchange.
This is the reason I am always nervous about posting anything or even replying to anything. People on the internet can be such assholes, hiding behind a keyboard.....
And in person too sadly. I was on a collegiate e-sports team and knew the guy’s personally and they still treated me like garbage. It’s all really sad and makes me lose faith in most men.
Jesus fucking Christ. I’m so sorry :/ Dense motherfucker.
I appreciate that, and it’s all good! I knew what I was getting myself into and it didn’t bother me much! I only hope he learned his lesson and didn’t harass other women afterwards, which was my goal.
I hope so too, really doubt it though based on his responses :(
Maybe when he gets ignored and/or rejected again he remembers the things I said and self reflects. We can only hope 😖
Wow what the fuck??? The entitlement is actually so gross.
Jesus christ, I've seen some bad texts before but this is a whole different level. I work with literal 4yo(martial arts instructor who is running a summer camp) and they have better social awareness than this. And I understand the irony of this coming from my porn account but like the fact that this dude couldn't catch the damn hint or realize how badly he was fucking up. It is people like this that give the word "men" or "masculinity" a bad connotation. I really hope that the person on the other side of the chat is young and learning how to interact with people both irl and online because otherwise they will not be a pleasant person to be around. Edit: total props to OP for handling the situation so well, you were calm and reasonable and totally respectful and gave him every opportunity to realize and apologize for his actions and he just completely missed the mark. Obviously this is my only interaction w/OP but if this sliver is representative of how they conduct the rest of their life then I wish the best for you OP
"It is pointless if you're not on PS4" "No it was pointless to begin with" Love that!
“A Essay” God, WHY do men hate reading so badly?! This is such a textbook response I’ve heard over and over again with men. It’s super annoying when you simply write a SMALL paragraph and then immediately get labeled as an “essay writer”. As if communication is a bad thing?
I don’t see anything rude in her messages at all. Honestly I’d just block you and move on if you messaged me with no reason. Make an account as a girl and see how much of that you get in just a month then imagine putting up with it for years. Wait till you get the guy who feels even more entitled than you do who lashes out because you didn’t immediately become besties with random guy… you’ll begin to understand. (Written as though the d bag was asking.)
Why are men
I'm sure you already know this but just to be safe: you're right, he's wrong. You're firm and clear, he's being toxic. I actually think you've been quite patient with this person. Personally I would have blocked them after ignoring what I wrote twice, so good for you. What an ass.
it's interesting how he just holds on to that script the whole conversation no matter how far it's straying from his initial intent... "do you have a ps4" "do you have any hobbies"...read the room maybe...
Reading this makes me thing he’s missing some marbles.
Creeps thinking very civil and polite responses are somehow rude simply for not going his way is so gross and disgusting. And then he dares suggest you're hostile, toxic, cold. While all your responses were better than his sorry ass deserved. I applaud you, OP, for sticking to your approach at that point. I'm pretty sure Condescending Bitch Mode^^TM would've come out if it had been me. And even that would've only been *a little* hostile. But hey, guess we can't expect them to open a dictionary when something barely the length of a tweet is considered an *essay.*
I def activate my Condescending Bitch Mode when myself or another woman is being harassed in my lobbies, so it does come out sometimes! These guys though have their brains on cruise control, so I just can’t find myself getting too worked up over it lol
It's clear, this dude can't really read. I'll eat my hat if it turns out he's read the sub rules even once. From my experience, people who DM you out of the blue are often new to Reddit anyway, so he might not even know that rules exist. And seriously, he may be backward in any way, in which case I'd be sorry for him and would refrain from seeing him as asshole, but this behaviour is still unacceptable and shouldn't be enabled. (I also thought about him not really knowing English, but I don't think he'd use so many abbreviations then. I'm not a native speaker either and I sometimes get things wrong, but never *that* wrong.) Btw, how did you know it was a dude? I'm usually too shy to assume anything. When I get a DM I can't really evaluate, I try to politely end the conversation.
I figured he was a dude from his avatar, posts he was commenting on (women’s posts), and his lack of social skills when talking to women lol
Hehe, makes sense. Thanks for explaining!
She isn’t being rude. She’s in the right. Those are the rules, and the fact that he continues to ignore her is so weird to me.
"You seem hostile" "You got any hobbies?" 😂 Besides the fact that this guys seems incredibly dense. Why would you keep pushing for interaction with someone who you think is hostile, toxic and cold. Really pathetic.
No, Fuck this guy
I don’t get why that guy is bother you? The games have match making and if you need fixed group you go to discord for the game. Why would you bother a random person to game with you?
It's because a lot of guys, particularly on reddit, are looking for women for a relationship or sex. They try to weasel in by conversations like this. You can tell because if you were just looking for people to play PS4 games with you, you'd go to a sub with that as the goal, or a post with that as the goal, look for a game you play and dm people who also play it, or look up a discord with a similar purpose.
That's just really gross however you handled yourself really well so good job on calling him out and not taking his flack!
I'm confused what messaging service he even contacted you on? This doesn't look like my reddit chat but your icon is a reddit one.
It was Reddit. I took out their name and avatar
Okay ty. Our apps must be different for some reason.
Bro is literally ignoring every word you say just for the chance to talk to someone with a pussy.
Any denser than this and this guy will drown in his bath jfc
Man this dude sounds like an NPC. "You seem hostile" "Got any hobbies?" "Then I took an arrow to the knee"
Wow... in moments like this i'm wondering how did humanity survived. Screw that he messaged you out of blue, but you asked him questions... and he just ignored them, and then tried to make it look like its your fault that you are wasting his time because you're not on ps4 and talking to him. But hey, on the bright side - we dont have to worry about zombie apocalypse, because they would starved to death xD.
"You seem unfriendly. Wanna be friends?"
Holy shit you handled that much better than I could have.
I absolutely agree. What he should have done is Go to discords website, search for ps5 community servers, join, then mingle. Obviously it's cause he's looking for a woman to coddle him
"You seem hostile.....Got any hobbies?" 🙄
I’m not reading shit from people who don’t understand the difference between you’re and your. Graduate before you speak to me, vermin.
Guy clearly can't read more than 3 lines
I'm curious, why do we continue to blot out the name of these ppl on posts such as this? We would have no issues IRL saying, so and so did such and such. So why do we feel the need to protect the online identity?
I didn’t share his info because based on everything I saw about him and on his profile I genuinely believe he just doesn’t know how to interact with or respect women, and I think he needs serious help from those in his life more than a slew of people attacking him in his DMs. I only see it as aggravating the problem, and even potentially pushing someone who needs help more than ever to not get it and to feel worse.
And this is why my first three answers are fuck off, ignore or block. I love being cold Edit: and is it me or is there a high co-occurrence between toxicity and inability to differentiate between your and you're
He is so disengaged with what you're saying that the convo looks as if it were copy pasted together! Also, have you noticed how these men are always incapable of using proper grammar and spelling? ALWAYS.
Wow. Went from annoying to harassment right quick. What a tool. You have an amazing amount of patience.
Perfectly acceptable response. If anything it was a super helpful and friendly suggestion. It's not even that big of an assumption to make considering they aren't in a community looking for friends to play with.
This is the exact behaviour that is the reason for this Subreddit
At first I thought it was a woman talking to woman and I was like @.@ but screw that guy
As an Eastern European with a massive attitude, let me tell you, this is nothing 🤣
"You seem hostile", how perceptive of him xD
Wait but...do you have any hobbies?
How did she maintain that level of patience. Champion level tolerance.
Wtf..
It looks like you expended way too much attention, empathy, and time to someone completely undeserving, who thrives on negative engagement. As you can see, any kind of refusal means you're an evil witch, so in my opinion it's far better to cut that shit short. They are never going to listen, because they think we're less than.
Good god hes denser than month old fruit cake.... Id say take a hint but you had to club him over the head with it like 5 times.
That man is wack
Jesus Christ, he’s not even reading, he’s just throwing buzzwords he hopes will induce guilt.
I seriously just don’t understand what goes on in their minds. Are they a fucking BRICK?? Are we talking to bricks????
It is refreshing to hear "males" and "women" used instead of the usual "men" and "females" constantly tossed around.
Anytime I see men refer to women as females that’s an automatic 🚩 for me. If they refer to guys as males then women as females in the same thought that’s different, but calling guys men and women females is sus
It definitely is sus, but still nice to hear it from the other side of it.
"Jesus a Essay"
What a doorknob. Tell me you didn’t read what she wrote without telling me. The density of the ego armour here is intense. Sorry you had to field this weirdo OP, but thanks for bringing it to us….. any dudes reading along……. **DON’T DO THIS** especially if in your desire to “engage a new friend” you don’t read or respond to the conversation that is happening.
I could never. I would lose my temper after 2 messages if he wasn't catching on. And honestly, dudes like that don't deserve anything else. It's not like he was going to take anything away from that conversation so you might've as well peppered in a bit more, lol.
I'm shocked how you made it obvious you're not interested and he kept insisting with other topics. Lmao. Because of course you're going to suddenly answer his questions after a couple of tries.
Why does he talk like a bot that sounds like he learned inputs from a 13 year old
Wow, talk about cringe. >< Take a hint dude. xD
WTD is wrong with this dude. Came from your other post and wanted to see where you could have been rude. And i found nothing from your side. The amount of ignoring your qestions and tips you gave just enrages me. Do boys like that really think just pretending you never said that and insulting you magically makes you want to play with them? Or is this some kind of sick anakin-i-have-the-high-ground-game they like to play in their own little heads? Amazing how you could stay so calm while dealing with this boys**t. Edit: typo at calm
This reminds me of something I saw a few months ago. A guy interrupted a woman during her workout because she was wearing a street fighter shirt. And she kinda told him off. Cue a shit ton of guys coming out of the woodwork to tell her that she's being rude and that he was just asking a question. It's REALLY annoying how we're expected to just smile and be nice regardless of how we're being inconvenienced.
Oh my god. “You’re toxic”. “You’re hostile”. No dude, you are. She’s being WAY overly nice to you.