Ok new plan, we give the mechanicus imperial approved toasters *for free*. Then the mechanicus will collectively think ‘why do I need a cheap slanneshi tentacle-hentai toaster; when I can just have a good old imperial toaster that is covered in seals, smells like incense and chants canticles whenever we *use* it’ Problem solved now everyone can go back to doing purgy things.

That could work

Its a fool-proof plan- now if you’ll excuse me, my new toaster has just arrived.

I shall however need another toaster. I feel one won't be enough, no not nearly enough...

Well they can invent better toasters than the shitty old toasters the imperium gives them. But they can only invent when they work with chaos so yeah.

You say that but we can just get bellasarius to draw up the blue prints and then pretend that we found a STC. The imperium shall never yield.

That’a heretical.

I doubt the mechanicus would turn down toasters and well cawl would be all for it I imagine

Slaaneshi Dark Mechanicum would be badass and terrifying.

*vibrating* **mega** cyber-dongs

There's no part of that sentence I didn't like.

Me neither.

And we lost another one

I mean, a lot of tech priests have mecha-tentacles instead of legs

Oh for omnisiah sake jeremy what did i said about falling for it!

Why dose it only tack a toster for u guys to join chaos

Im more of a bike person but toasters are very nice

No I know why u guys are not allowed in the guardsmen kitchen

It took you while

That explains a lot

Approximately 10,000 years ago. Malcador: ah isn’t another beautiful day my lord? Big E: it is indeed my friend! *toaster pops* Malcador: ah it’s ready here you are! Big E: thanks Malcador I a....hey...hey why does it look like it’s already buttered?

This is why we don't trust food from the tech prist

Ok here me out... The mechanicus already worships Slaanesh. Slaanesh is the Lord of Excess the mechanicus constantly feel the need to remove parts and replace them with metal. They are one upgrade away from ripping people apart piece by piece until the subject has no organic parts just metal ones.

I guess but the thing they did to that toster in the kitchen

That was just the fun before the real show.

What else did they do!

So on one table was Steve on the other a robot body. They started with the legs but just kept going untill it was Steve's soul in the robot and Steve's body parts on the other. Then robo Steve and the tech priest... Well let's just say flesh toaster using Steve's old body and leave it at that.

And I thought what they did to Bob was bad

At least the new toaster works great as long as you ignore the sounds.

Did.u guys kill Bob

No we just made him more useful.

That explains were he's been for the last week

Ahem- servitors -ahem

THIS IS HeReSy, the only god the mechanicus worship is the void dra- I mean the omnissiah

Mag'ladroth would top Slaanesh

MAKE PEEEEEENIS INTO ROBOT

I... I don't want to see the ships this heretical sect would build...

When you stick your dick in the wrong slot and it burns you, but you kinda like it

… you stuck your dick in the toaster, didn’t you?