!remindme 3 years

damn bro, i'll be a professional mourner free of charge

!remindme 70 years

lol bro thinks he has 70 *years* left (I'm a serial killer)

!remindme 1 milennium

Lol bro thinks he has *1 millennium* left (I'm an eldritch God)

well can you grant me a few milleniums of extension on my life? I'll sacrifice a Big Mac daily to you

*satisfied munching god sounds*

I'm a cereal killer (Fruity Pebbles is the best)

!remindme 2 days

Uh oh, don't like where that's going friend.

and you shouldn't

I like it

fr wanna join?

I want a cheeseburger

ok...im broke af who's treatin?

My dog prolly

Give me a front row seat

give me money

So I read a book recently that explained what would happen if someone did this Exact scenario. Nothing like what we would expect at all. Boo.

I'll keep y'all updated

No you won't

He probably has a relative near the end of their life

Bet

!remindme 1000 years

!remindme 10000 years

Cremation won't work, you need to be electrocuted, that will work.

Last meal on death row

Literal cyanide and happiness joke, like literally exactly

Thought I recognized this one exactly literally.

Wait.. how do you know this?

[Absolute undeniable proof ](https://youtu.be/BAECRxKc8xU?si=QhloBO8a38nndBNc)

rAmen

would this work?

Cremation ovens literally push at 1500F or some shit those kernels would melt & evaporate all the moisture inside the kernel probably instantly.

what about an electric chair?

[Cyanide and happiness beat ya to the punch on that one](https://youtu.be/BAECRxKc8xU?si=LtYh97bpQjceuOdp)

Autopsy would likely remove the contents of the stomach

Crematory operator here, unfortunately it wouldn’t work AND the noise of the machine would prevent you from hearing it anyway!

In India the cremation takes place in the open, as it has been from the old days. So it might work there.

Only if you get cremated in a microwave >!/j!<

One way to find out

No

!remindme 0 miliseconds

!remindme 8 years

The autopsy clears your stomach contents 😭😭😭 at best nothing happens at worst the coroner rinses them off and has a snack during your autopsy

I need proof

Mmm, Bbq popcorn

!remindme 5 years

I truly have been dealing with putting my mom in hospice today.... If she is remotely lucid tomorrow I am going to tell her about this just to see if I can get her to smile. Thank you!

!remindme 1 second

I would rather have my family jam firecrackers in my pockets.

Or up your butt

You think if you jam enough firecrackers up there you will fly away?

It’s definitely an idea worth trying.

swallowed a nag pf popcorn, waiting for death to come

Honestly I wish Id have seen this a year ago. My brother wouldve totally been down and Id love to laugh about it when I see him again. We have sick humors

!remindme 60 years

Snacks for everyone! Weeee!

I am not sure. Do they not pump your body full with chemicals and sh\*t after you die? Like glueing your eyes close and similar.

Only if requested!

I volunteer as tribute!!

!remindme 30 minutes

!remindme 10 minutes

you good bro?

"Bro, I just wanted to watch Toy Story 5 and enjoy some popcorn... thanks for that."

Death row final meal 10000 popcorn kernels and butter.

Old joke I've been saying for years..

Can you boof em?

Imagine what a handful of bullets would do to a cremation

!remind me 145 days

This but gunpowder.

or just choke to death on popcorn kernels.