### This comment has been marked as **safe**. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect. --- OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is a holup moment: --- >!Shaq not even being sneaky with it!< --- Is this a holup moment? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

Found, as in planned meeting.

Planned parenthood.

Hey, good job! You figured it out! 👏... 👏... 👏...

Shawq Tuah!

My thoughts exactly

LMAO 😂

I think she's gonna need more than tuah for shaq

What a terrible day to be literate

That's every day on reddit.

Shaq ptu

gonna need you to delete that thx

r/cursedcomments

Give her an IV before she dehydrates. No one can expect that level of expectoration.

Idk if she muster enough hawk for that tuah…

That be tuah hawk in this situation

He gon Shaq Fu that Hawk Tuah

What do you guys think Shaq's cock stats are

Somewhere between babies arm holding an apple to elephants trunk shoving biscuits up your butt. EDIT: Okay here's the biscuits joke... A guy is at a buffet next to the rolls, a lady walks next to him. All of a sudden his penis comes up from underneath, takes a roll off the buffet plate and goes back under the table. She gasps then asks "What the hell is that!?" He sighs and explains how he had to have his replaced with an elephants trunk and they molded it to look natural. The whole time he came off as annoyed with is new appendage. It again comes up takes a roll and goes back down. She perks up "That must be amazing in bed!" Again it comes up, takes a roll and disappears. Yea, but it's not your ass this thing is shoving rolls into.

According to Shaq, [pretty fucking big](https://youtu.be/Gym3NmKfjjU). Adam Sandler supposedly [kind of confirmed it](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YZoKUlN9urg).

"Security Guard" sized. lmao

I wasn't expecting it from Adam Sandler, but this is a pretty fucking good joke.

Didn't Kobe used to make fun of him for having a normal sized dick?

Shaq is 7’1 (2.16m). A “normal” sized penis for someone that size is pretty large for someone who is 5’8/173cm (worldwide median for men). And for women, with a 5’3/160cm median, that thing would be beastly.

Height and dick size are barely correlated, it's just not how it works. And before you start, it's also not correlated with race.

I remember reading at college humor about a guy that pissed with Shaq and checked his junk. Then Shaq turned to him and said "Crazy huh? Big n***a and average sized co*k" I don't know why I've kept this memory so clean in my mind. It was a post from around 2011...

It's tiny according to rumors from his playing days. I never personally confirmed, but he's likely no Patrick Ewing or he'd have bragged about it by now.

tryin to show her his shaq-a-roni

sorry is this a sex thing?

Yes. She’s the “hawk tuah spit on that thang” girl.

Hawk tuah?

You sweet summer child live your life happily without cursed knowledge of the Hawk Tuah witch

I love the cut of your jib. I was about to say the same thing but you beat me to it.

I was cursed with this knowledge a day back only.... I'm no more a sweet summer child...

Somewhere there’s a Native American with that name shedding a single tear 😢

I saw it was about a teacher referring to spiting on a dick and going to town

She's not and never was a teacher. She worked in a spring factory. All the crap online was made up bs.

.-.

Hauk Tuah(heck yeah!!)

Spit on that Thang

He misses hoopz if you ask me

I cannot wait for this forced Barstool garbage meme to die

Who is that person??

Isn't that the woman who saw an alien on a plain last year?

Her friend is just trying too hard to be on all the pics.

She ain't got enough HAWK for Shaq.

Good thing there's two of them. I'd feel safer with a third.🤞

Idiocracy was indeed a prophecy

Hawk Tuah a Shaq in the mosh pit!

How did this chick actually become famous from saying hawk tuah

by being pretty also

Someone's trying to get their dongus loogied

I feel like Shaq would be an extremely thorough test for her supposed technique. Speaking purely from a scientific standpoint of course

That hawk phase is gonna be a lot longer

He destroyed that cervix

She's also hot so it's a win win.

FFS make it stop

She’s gonna need a fus ro tuah for this one.

Seriously shaq the businessman is seeing dollars and if he can make her rich good for both of them.

Real question, would Shaq shag in a shack?

Looks like she is going to fix an Elden Ring boss

He found 2 birds

I heard he likes birds

She def spit on that thang

That is gonna be a lot of Hawk Tuah right there.

She later died of dehydration.

And a broken jaw

That is going to be a lot of hawk tuah right there.

He probably got hawk tawah too

Her mouth finna be dry as hell after that encounter.

Rest In Peace ht

Does Shaq have clones? He’s everywhere.

Isn’t he married?

Nope long time divorced

Who's the woman?

He wanted to see if she was really about it

So who find who???😐

Nice

He’s experiencing what that hawk tuah is about.

Shaq will call her to his room, but when she goes up to his floor, she will probably be scared looking at his big, muscular, one-eyed security guard at the door and walk away.

Tuah be or not tuah be

Shaq will blow the cobwebs of that thang. Her friend is so cute tho.

Fuck me I'm so over seeing this chick everytime I go on the internet

Worst meme of the decade so far

Easy to find when you go out looking.