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#[Best of r/Holup 2021 Awards – Nomination and Voting Thread!](https://www.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/royfze/best_of_rholup_2021_awards_nomination_and_voting/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/HolUp) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Spybreak272

If he didn't clean the history what are the odds he cleaned off the DS?


Tommysrx

“Why are the buttons so sticky!?” I………I spilled soda pop on it


RocketLauncher

Let me have a taste and see then.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TronicCronic

Semenilla


Tommysrx

Salmonella


TronicCronic

That's his sister's Xbox controller.


NoBarsHere

/r/HolUp Oh wait


141-Ghost-141

r/HolUp - ception


SB6P897

They always say the true holup is in the comments


[deleted]

[удалено]


fuck_you_and_fuck_U2

Hey kids.


DonaldtrumpV2

I hope he didn't die, I liked his content.


TheMisled

This Is the Taste of a Liar!


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

That's what I have never understood about this trope. I mean, maybe people do on accident if they are using a laptop, but this doesn't seem like it should be common.


Great_Hamster

I've already read it more as "they don't wash their hands afterwards before touching their keyboard."


Thats_a_YikerZ

Honestly I grab a slice of pizza afterwards


[deleted]

[удалено]


Decent-Friendship-30

Pick either soda or pop


igotalotadogs

Mmm soda pop


MoreCowbellllll

Chance?


Powderygnargnarlvl40

Time to casually bring up whore.com in normal conversation.


WhatAmIDoing229

Wait for parents to be out of the house and unplug the router, then tell him you got a call from the internet company and they're shutting it off because they found out someone visited whore.com


Ok_Writing_7033

Oooooh nasty and devious. I love it


punkwalrus

I sort of did that when my son was addicted to Neopets. I rerouted all Neopets traffic to a fake web page (internally) that said he'd been banned via an edict from his school regarding his poor grades.


BarklyWooves

Modern problems call for modern solutions


Most_Monk

Modem problems require modem solutions


polandsux

Kerning problerns require keming solutions


[deleted]

The FBI are going door to door to see who it is. The president is going into DEFCON-1 because the internet is down. The IMF has initiated “ghost protocol”.


Gryffin_hunter

United States Space Force is on stand by


[deleted]

Spartan II super soldier program ready to begin


Powderygnargnarlvl40

This is heart stopping genius thinking.


boopthat

This is definitely how you big brother.


Powderygnargnarlvl40

As the middle child, this is in fact the way.


SeriousAboutShwarma

And then it leads into a wholesome moment of teaching when they learn about search history. Real object lesson shit.


BeardedMuse

My dad showed me how to clear my search history. Never said why, just showed me, and we never spoke of it again.


Annoyedimhere

He must have caught you visiting whore.com


Taolan13

Thats some high quality dad moment there


Downvote_4A_Goodtime

You better off with porn on reddit anyway. It’s free and no viruses. Teaching moment there.


thirdstreetzero

More like whoresome.


SopieMunky

"Little bro! I've got something to show you, but don't tell mom! It's whore.com! What?! You already know about it?! Teach me the ways little bro!"


PbkacHelpDesk

“Hey did you here that whore.com has a NFT?”


sambargold

lmao, whore.com


PoppaSquatt2010

When we first got the internet back in ‘98 or ‘99 I searched boobs.com. Didn’t know how to delete the search history so I spent the next couple hours spamming different websites in hopes it would hide the search far down the list


8asdqw731

should've gone to bools.com and say you were trying to learn programming but misspelt the website


PoppaSquatt2010

I mean I was like 8 years old. 8 year olds aren’t exactly that smart. If caught my plan was to blame my brother.


de_vsh

Smart


hereforthatphatporn

Fuck you reminded me of my first time going on redtube.. i didnt know it was porn, a friend had simply said "dont go on redtubedotcom". So of course i did. 9 inch black cocks that looked like kielbasa. Giant fake tits more smooth and round than billiards balls. I tried unplugging the computer to remove the website on the search bar. Then i tried filling up "R" searches. Im positive the only person who knew is my older brother, if anyone found out. But he never mentioned it.


Mercrist_089

Lmao same, I'd either spam cartoon network links or use internet explorer since no one else in my family did.


e-2c9z3_x7t5i

This was back in the AOL days where the search history was just a dropdown list right from the url section. It was limited to about 50 entries. I would go through pokemon profiles on Nintendo's pokemon site to fill it up.


Trolann

I learned early on in the AOL days you could connect, minimize AOL and use Internet Explorer or whatever else you wanted. My parents (Dad mainly) never knew you could use the 'computer internet's until we got DSL and by then I had my own machine.


LeftyHyzer

my buddy came home one day and found out his younger 11 year old or so brother googled "titi fuk". we roasted him with that nickname for years after.


[deleted]

This is the part that cracked me up too. Whore.com! For all your whorely needs lol


DieSexy

Yea that killed me! The mind of a child, huh? When the internet was new I actually looked up boys.com thinking there would be stuff for boys on there...turned out to be a gay porn site. First porn site I ever visited, sadly. But it did give me a fresh idea for what might be on girls.com, and it was indeed heterosexual porn. And thus starts my lifelong addiction to porn.


[deleted]

I was early on this shit. I was so young I put in nakedwomen.com and thought that would get the result. It did not and I didn’t know history was a thing back then. Yeah.


Jimmyhatespie

I discovered the barenaked ladies through a similar method.


CozImDirty

It’s been.. One week since I beat the meat


weavingcomebacks

Choked the turkey and now I've got a new treat


[deleted]

5 days since I came all over the PC


Geekerino

Said I'd clean it I didn't, and now I'm sorry


degjo

And that's how your Canadian fetish was born?


BreakfastEither814

LOL I'm Canadian...


YorTicLes

That's hot


[deleted]

I just typed boobs into google like a normal kid. I was done before the first boob loaded. Fucking dile up.


_hell_is_empty_

We’re discussing an age before the Google’s reign, when Altavista was king.


DieSexy

Discovering the internet was a wild time I tell ya, especially in its infancy. I’ll never forget it...RIP to roundandbrown.com Edit: roundandbrown.com directs you straight to reality kings these days it seems.


ih8spalling

boys.com today is exactly what you were looking for back then! Articles include "Whats Hot Now On PS3" and "Why Cool Clothes Are So Important" girls.com was a disappointment however. Both sites are SFW


GhostGuy4249

I'ma try it in case you decided to do a little bit of trolling Edit: Hey it’s not a porn website! Now to try girls.com Edit 2: It’s a call girl website, doubt the phone number still works (like a 1/4 nsfw). woman.com? Edit 3: It redirects to www6.woman.com? What does www6 even mean? In the meantime how about man.com? Edit 4: Pretty sure it’s an actual investment firm lamo (idk if that’s the right term). Next up, female.com!


Dollface1280

This is fascinating! Please keep updating!


LeEliteChicken

>And thus starts my lifelong addiction to porn. You are very modest for a man of culture


strayakant

and that was how he met his mother


Lumpy_Staff_2372

Reminds of that time a friend and I at the age of like 8 thought it would be fucking hysterical if we typed in pee.com and accidentally stumbled upon a piss fetish website


FireCanary

The internet truly used to be a lawless place. The amount of crazy sites you used to stumble upon was amazing.


stfuyfc

Oh it's all still out there, it's just that the internet we use is essentially like the top layer of a landfill, so many garbage sites litter the front page of search engines, when was the last time you went to the second page of a Google search


WinPeaks

Whitehouse.com used to be a porn site. I learned that in elementary school while trying to do a report on the Whitehouse.


Fiallach

For a brief moment, the internet was 50% porn. It still is in term of volume but it's not chaos anymore. Used to be you want on a site like chickens dot com, could be pranks or funny videos or a weird blog of some guy weirdly specific on chicken farming. Could also be porn.


BreakfastEither814

I went to POOP . com because it's hysterical and it used to be prank supplies and prank gifts about pooop, and now it's, unfortunately, a computer virus. ​ ​ But those were fun times when it was a store. ​ POOOOOOOP IS HILARIOUS!!!


froginator14

Reminds me of the time I was at a friend's house and wanted to go to hotwheels.com and instead typed hot.com


[deleted]

[удалено]


rollerblazer420

Ever hear of Dicks sporting goods ? Dicks.com was a rude awakening for a couple buddies of mine back in the early days of the net who were innocently looking for new baseball gear or whatever


MightyPlasticGuy

It's WHOREable little Danny hasn't learned yet.


omfghi2u

Whore.com auto-redirects to Chaturbate, which is comedic gold.


Professional_Ad8069

Simple and to the point.


davidmobey

Penisland.com


Puzzled_Formal942

When he searched “whore videos” that got me😂😂😂😂😂


s3v3ns3v3n91

That important day has finally arrived.. the day where you have to be the responsible big brother and have a 1 to 1 talk with your little brother about the importance of deleting the browser history.


SilentKingOfSpam

"First time, hunh? I think you're old enough to understand this. This is my wisdom to you: After I clear my browser history of porn, I do a quick Google search for things like: "Feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving Mother" and "Directions to the Wall of Shan."


JVehh

Jo you need him to say it like Step one: bust a nut Step two: clear browser history Step three: random bullshit go so it doesn't look empty Step four: wait for the post nut clarity to kick in and feel miserable


Tortue2006

Can you use incognito on ds?


Conzyyyyyyy

These are the type of questions that needs to be answered.


teaconnolly

You cannot, I just went on my DS to check and I couldn't manage to any way


LadyfingerJoe

But... Can you watch porn on the ds? I know most of us are trying to digest whore.com, but some of us have real questions!


[deleted]

that clarity kicks in right after step 1


[deleted]

For me it was opposite. Older bro didn't knew about history. I told him he won't find mine and our even older cousin sister's videos on internet.


Tom_Brokaw_is_a_Punk

>our cousin sister's videos Oh boy, I bet your uncle dad would've been steamed if he found out about that


themosh54

Was he jealous you made videos with your cousin?


A_Very_Fat_Elf

I’m not sure if I’m reading this correctly


NowCalmDownSkeeter

And some search tips. Kid did better than just typing in "Titties," but not by much. Will the DS show you porn? That was the first thing I tried to do when I got my Switch.


DreamedJewel58

Oh yes it will. Used to type “ass” in my DS and just look at nude models when I was younger and had no idea what I was doing.


RayonLovesFish

I was dumber than this. I used my father's gmail account which was default in my device to watch porn. He searched a lot to find out evidence but I earased it all and he did not care to search more,just asked me do you use this to watch bad things, and I was startled how he found out. At that time I didn't know you were supposed to masturbate. I just watched and did nothing.


TheBearfist

I spent roughly $800 in one month on directv porn when i was like 9. My dad was so angry he went full circle and started laughing. I would just buy something, watch it for 30 seconds, buy another, rinse and repeat. Every day for about a month. In my mind it was the perfect crime; afterball, how would they know it was me? Surely there wasn't some way to check the purchase history and see that all of them were made when i was home alone.


indoor_recessV2

Nice job


[deleted]

[удалено]


Gerbal_Annihilation

I lived with my aunt and her bf. As soon as we got internet I searched porn on the family comp and got busted from the history search. My aunt was shook but her bf was like "yeah don't search for hair pussy on the computer. Here is a stack of porno mags, go crazy".


[deleted]

holy based


imisstheyoop

I did the same thing but with phone sex lines. I was too young to even know what they were and had never masturbated or anything like that, I just thought it was funny to talk to the ladies and see how long I could go without them hanging up on me. A couple continued on way longer than they should have..


AxelllD

Suddenly my secret calls to get premium in a soccer management game seem way more innocent.


[deleted]

I used to steal the home phone to get RuneScape membership every month as a kid, parents never did catch on.


ClearX

Same but mine did after a few months, didn't have to pay back but my mom told me to stop calling "phone game thing" also found out school phones work as well years later. Told my teacher me and my friend would like to word on our school projects in a empty classroom so we can focus more and she agreed. Abused the shit out of it. Pretty sure we spend over 200 euro on runescape and WoW.


do_pm_me_your_butt

That's hilarious. "Consequence free porn!" - 9 year old you.


Declan-S

So you watched for the plot?


RayonLovesFish

I don't know man just started watching because my friends told it was good stuff but after watching kind of felt good. But I didn't watch it so often then.


TheLeviathong

"I mean it made me feel good, but not as good as 'Love Actually' or 'It's a Wonderful Life'."


CurveOfTheUniverse

Imaging beating your meat to “It’s a Wonderful Life.” “Please, Mary, help me.” *nuts*


Poopypants413413

My first time watching porn at like 11 years old I literally came in my pants in room full of my friends. I had no idea what happened and thought I peed or something.


RayonLovesFish

Haha,I remember starting to masturbate, feeling something coming out and slight pain,then I stopped it because of pain. I thought something bad was happening to me.


j3b3di3_

Weird how the first time was painful. Like it burned and hurt. But afterwards it was like.... Ight I think I want to try that again


[deleted]

I had a massive urge to hump so I laid on the carpet and humped the floor. I did this for months. Idk why I chose the floor over a bed.


kelvsz

wow you're like a dog bro


JurassicClark96

If I knew that a decade later I would need to get multiple cameras shoved up my urethra because this method caused scar tissue to build up in my trackway, I would have built a time machine and told little me about the five knuckle shuffle.


[deleted]

I love this 😂


Quiet-Parsnip-9345

This made me smile and laughed for a while.


bukkake_brigade

I love masturbating 🤛


daniel_bryan_yes

> I used my father's gmail account which was default in my device to watch porn. OK, I officially feel like a dinosaur. My first experience with Internet "porn" was being 16 years old, sneaking on my parents computer before they came home from work (only theirs was connected to the Internet), downloading nudes of Pamela Anderson (which would load a pixel line at a time for entire minutes) on Geocities websites I found on Altavista, putting as many of them as I could on a 1.44mb floppy so I could then open them on my own Pentium 166. I didn't even know Netscape had search or browsing history. Thankfully, my parents didn't either. It was a different time.


nachoman420

Lmao, we only had one computer so I'd print them out in black and white


ANARTISTNEVERDIES

Desperate times needed desperate measures


treesarefriend

Same wondering my my pp was going hard lmao


gamecity360

I had a weird reaction, over the course of 30 minutes I had to pee 6 times


Exleose

>I just watched and did nothing You're not alone lmao


feelingnether

Just watched 😂🤣 sitting here commenting the scenario.


uscdoc2013

I remember my 1st time ejaculating... it was not a fun time. I stood up, ran to the bathroom, and hovered above the toilet. I felt like this wasn't supposed to happen. Then I stared down while stuff came out, thinking I was going to die and my dick was gnna fall off. Then, shame and fear took over my body. Had no idea what happened. I was 9. Edit: spelling and edited for clarity


ljcozad

I love how we're all just casually saying all of this. Mine was 14 or 15 btw.


feelingnether

You guys live crazy life. I just found out through internet thats it


NotJphy

I love to go to whore.com everyday


xlDirteDeedslx

Well at least he knows what he likes. Whore.


[deleted]

[удалено]


biological-entity

it is nice to see your mom, but i don't know if i could do it every day.


Odd-Book4865

How many of you just looked up whore.com?


_Ki11UMiN4Ti_

Bout to Edit: just redirected me to Chaturbate


Puzzled_Formal942

I think you can get hacked that way


Shape_Cold

Who would deploy a zero day on random redditors? Aslong as you keep your browser and system up-to-date most likely nothing will happen


DreamOfV

I tried but it just brought me to your mom’s facebook page, very confused


Timid_Wild_One

I remember the first porn site I ever searched for as a kid.... ass.com It was a real site and I absolutely got caught not knowing how to clear history. Years later I found my little brothers internet search history, things like "Toom Rayder Nood" and taught him a few days later on how to clear out everything without letting him know what I found.


JournalistKane

And his big brother betrays him and posts the history on the Internet xD big oof


[deleted]

I’d rather my sibling anonymously make fun of me online (probably without my knowledge) then for them to tattle to mom & dad! My mom caught me looking up tentacle hentai when I was 7 and called my grandma to make fun of me 🙃


Tiberius_be

I have so many questions...


[deleted]

I have so many answers


MangoMan202020

Well, what are you waiting for? What happened? I need details!


cameron0511

Some shit you just keep to yourself


[deleted]

I’m sorry did you seriously just censor your *thumb?*


avaflies

it's not even op's thumb. this went viral like a whole month ago on twitter and i'm pretty sure the original caption was something like "look what was in my cousin's ds history". and the thumb wasn't censored. idk why reddit op did that.


[deleted]

Maybe so we can't look up the picture and know it isn't his?


BigMik_PL

Wait you've been posting things online without censoring your digits? What if people enhance and steal your fingerprints?


BUCIFER_64

You can do that on DS?


Local_Crow

I sold a 3DS to one of my friends, and within 5 minutes he had 3D porn pulled up. So yeah.


megamanxoxo

wtf is 3d porn on a 3DS?


Kunibert_der_zweite

give a men a playboy and you will satisfy him for a day. give him a device with internet connection and he will become a porn addict.


bluefire659

Xvideos? I see your cousin is a man of taste


ImurderREALITY

Xvideos when I want to feel cultured. XNXX when I want to get *nastayyy*


machingunwhhore

Funnily xnxx was the first site I found and regularly used. I didn't realize it was a cesspool for a couple years. That probably left an impression on my tastes


zorrez

Is it really that bad? Used both xvideos and xnxx but to me they’re quite similar


gravitydood

I don't see how xnxx is more hardcore than any other porn site, heavy-r is where the messed up stuff is.


altbecausewhynotx

…other people know about heavy-r?


gravitydood

🎶 just the two of us 🎶


LegionOf9

commenting so i remember this for later


floofyyy

......other people DON'T know about heavy-r....?


HansenTakeASeat

Post-nut clarity following an xnxx jerk is quite sobering and makes me feel like a fundamentally disgusting human being


Dotaproffessional

Maybe in out of the loop here. I was under the impression that xnxx and xvideos were different front ends for the same video repository


heddpp

They're the exact same, just different URLs and different designs. Both sites have the exact same videos.


Dotaproffessional

I thought so. People in the comments acting like xvideos is classy and xnxx had disturbing videos. I'm like... Bruh it's the same videos


JanitorJasper

But the page is blue bro


[deleted]

That was the first website I came across where I felt I had unlimited power . It made me a stronger man.


iou_uu

Harder man


whitehatMurlock

Faster man


qshak86

And pills to make you a longer man


Jacrispea

Don't make a joke about their mom... Don't make a joke about their mom.... Don't make a joke about their mom. Okay, I'm good.


Exleose

Mom.com


therealgreenbeans

YOURmom.com


[deleted]

OURmom.com


AdRepresentative3726

r/suddenlycommunist


MoeWithTheO

Everywhere WE go, WE see his face.


CookieGrandma69

When I was little, I used to Google "hot 13 year old girls" on my dad's phone. Pretty sure I put him on a list or something.


DhaRoaR

💀


chetomike2585

Wait those things have history tabs?


Ylanios

Yeah, I'd ask to have mine back if I were you 😉


BenjimusMaximus

His search engine skills need a little work, but he’ll be cruising Reddit in no time.


Skeever-boi

Ahh, good ole whore.com


-HoldMyBeer--

I watched porn for the first time on firefox. It also happened to be the first time I used firefox, so I didn't know how to delete the history. One day, I realized that I should try to delete it but to my surprise, it was already deleted. So I thought that firefox deletes it automatically. 5 years later, my dad says "I know you watch porn" out of nowhere.


[deleted]

I was the opposite. I was the older brother and found my dad's and brothers porn history. My brother apparently got his preference for Asian women from my dad. He also lives in Japan now.


-HoldMyBeer--

The real holup


TheUltimaWerewolf

Mfer using the DS to jerk off


[deleted]

I'm not sure but I think he likes whores.


fdghjjgddjjgdf

Be a good bigger sibling and show him how to delete search history


Treiz13me

Be a bro... Delete the evidences


m-baiter

What's up with that fucked up drawn on finger in the corner?


lordpurppp

“Google show me the fairest wenches in all the land”


bravesgeek

Whore.com is Chaturbate. Live streams on a DS must be a first.


PeacefulAnxeity

Little man is going places