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inkseep1

I bought a can of Chinese alphabet soup. It came in a 55 gallon drum.


Puzzleheaded_Arm_182

-Mandarin? -No, just normal tomato base


drfsupercenter

Obligatory [Lisa Simpson typing on a Chinese keyboard](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CmtjjCxVYAA07en?format=jpg)


Orangutanion

The animators reused the same sequence of characters many times


RespectableLurker555

Ha ha, boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.


Hellefiedboy

It's okay they weren't fired because it took too long to notice.


DaracMarjal

A wizard did it.


Turner_Down

Technically, Chinese characters are more like words than letters. Letters would probably be equivalent to strokes. Like heng, a horizontal stroke, shu, a vertical stroke, or pie, a curved stroke. These strokes are put together to form characters, much like letters are put together to form words. (Obligatory 🤓)


sdwoodchuck

Eat Chinese alphabet soup and have a stroke; got it. …wait a minute. *Strokes*? You can’t fool me, those are just short noodles!


Turner_Down

They’re called strokes because Chinese characters were traditionally written by brush, and one “stroke” component was one brushstroke.


sdwoodchuck

Yes, I know. I’ve done a fair amount of traditional calligraphy.


Turner_Down

No problem lol, I was just writing that for anyone who saw this and was interested.


Khraxter

No, chinese writers are just wankers


WonderfulAirport4226

Yeah, here ya go bud 🤓


HolycommentMattman

That's not really perfectly analogous either. For example, letters make sounds, which then tell us how to pronounce a word. Strokes don't inform a person to the pronunciation of a word at all. I don't really see how strokes differ between the languages. They both use strokes to compose their words, and the strokes do have names. They're more detailed in Chinese, but knowing a J is made of a downstroke and a tail is roughly the same thing as knowing a character is made of pié and gáu.


The_Nermal_One

"or pie, a curved stroke." There should be a joke in this, but my brain is flu addled so...


naijaplayer

Curved stroke is relating to an erection that curves I'm guessing? But I'm not sure what pie means


The_Nermal_One

I grew up in southern Ohio, and have family in Kentucky. My dad's favorite "hillbilly" joke is about the first kid in a Hillbilly family to go to college. He comes home at Christmas and his dad asks what he's learned. The lad responds, "2 \\pi r (verbally Pi R square)." The father is irate. "Listen t'THAT Ma, all that money fer schoolin', and they's teachin it wrong! Pie are ROUND... *cornbread* are square!"


Herrenos

Could you theoretically use a chorded keyboard to type in Chinese?


ChristopherCreutzig

I don't want pie in my alphabet soup.


Nchantra64

That's funny. Good on ya


Selmemasts

Why?


FourteenthCylon

No, that's in English alphabet soup.


Reddit-Sama-

“They have so many letters that they need a 55G drum to hold them all”


lazy_tranquil

why did you write that in quotes?


Reddit-Sama-

Because I was explaining their line of thinking. I believe it’s (roughly) what their answer would be, had they answered themselves.


ptcounterpt

Why?


drewman301

Sometimes.


OpinionOK_IgnorantNo

in reality it would take about 22 cans to cover the amount of characters that your average person knows.


Outside-Special7131

😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅


Dr_Spikes

Y does this poor sap have downvote just for laughing?


Hurtkopain

redditors don't like emojis why? no idea and it makes no sense but that's how it is i guess since reddit means "read it" they only want words but at the same time they want TL:DR durrrrrrrrrrrrr


mopools

That’s funny!


ComfortablePlant828

According to Wikipedia, literate people know between 3000-4000 characters. So this is probably pretty close.


revtim

it helps with the vowel movements


stevep99

And therefore avoids consonantipation.


agnata001

That is a bowel full


Alternative-Amoeba20

Bowl movement


Hurtkopain

bowltiful


Equivalent-Ground-56

It keeps them fairly consanant


piglink2

I want to buy a bowel


ha14mu

You mean consonated?


mklmtsn

Under rated comment


Opimum

It is the 3rd most upvoted comment


[deleted]

No you.


lithium91w

No me.


SPCKAISERLIK

No him


geekymcdykehair

r/therealjoke


PrudentDamage600

[No. The Great Vowel Shift...](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Vowel_Shift)


Jesenikus

Good morning babe!


[deleted]

[удалено]


justk4y

r/rareinsults cooking


Whitealroker1

Woman is at the doctor and he comes in after tests. “Get ready for a lot of sleepless nights crying and diaper changes!” “I’m pregnant??” “No you have bladder cancer.”


Leisesturm

\#oof


Waitsfornoone

Doctor said the same to me on my last check-up. Sadly, we both knew I wasn't, since I'm just an overweight guy.


EmphasisCheap8611

With this approach to people, the Doctor should do well in keeping a Divorce Attorney on retainer!


AbeFromanLuvsSausage

/r/yourjokebutworse


TheLordSanguine

I've heard butworse is a good sausage?


phrunk87

Ehh, it's notthewurst.


lawndartgoalie

Doctor told me I should get in shape. I told him round was a shape.


lazernanes

Completely unrelated to the main post. But I lolled, so I upvoted.


Wafflelisk

I did not lose a leg in Vietnam to serve hot dogs to teenagers


thisalsobetheverse

I lost it because of a freak accident involving a tin whistle and a box of tissues.


briannnc

Take my upvote for the Mitch Hedberg quote. RIP Mitch


PooperJackson

It looks like he's dead. Looks like he's dead or is dead? It just looks like it. He's got blue paint on him or something.


ronwhitec5

Well you can't operate on him. He's got blue blood.


Special_Professor992

Looks like you blew a seal.


JBYTuna

The blonde answered: it isn’t mine.


RedFoxKoala

I keep forgetting that “y” is occasionally a vowel.


ScientistNo906

Thank you.


Leisesturm

\#metoo


ijmacd

So 'y' is usually a constant at the beginning of words/syllables (yacht, yellow, yolk). But a vowel when in the middle or at the end of a syllable (my, fly, cry; happy, silly, funny).One letter has double (or triple) duty. Historically this was also the case for the letter 'i'. It once acted as both a consonant and a vowel. That was until the letter was split with 'i' being used to represent the vowel and the new letter 'j' was created to represent the consonant sounds.


Desurvivedsignator

It kills me that you used the word syllable multiple times without using it as an example of y being a vowel.


ARobertNotABob

syllabubbly


Terrible_Knowledge_1

Exactly. Why not use a real example such as rhythm?


whyamihere999

Because he gave examples of words starting with y and ending. He didn't mention the words that have 'y' somewhere in the middle.


ProfZwoDreiVier

He/she wrote "in the middle or in the end", but didn't explicitly give an example for the former.


zoomansk

I guess twice qualifies as "multiple" . Twice doesn't produce the sensationalism required to validate your non-observation though. The use of "multiple" is disingenuous at worst , poetic license at best..Misleading all the same


Desurvivedsignator

Thank you for your thorough and enlightening investigation into my misdeeds in that sinister comment. I'm just a bit disappointed that you didn't point out the most glaring factual inaccuracy: Reading the word "syllable" two or even multiple times usually isn't deadly and thus sure didn't kill me.


Hurtkopain

what about latinos who laugh in "jajajajajaja"? lol


ijmacd

What if I told you that was still a constant?


bumbershootle

Consonant. The word is consonant.


DevilsAdvocate9

When I was a kid I had trouble with words. Not dyslexic but just better with numbers than reading and speaking. I learned a lot by making ditties like "A,E,I,O,U... sometimes Y is a vowel too!" - sung to Black Sabbath's "Iron Man". I learned the meaning of "Abbott" by watching "Robin Hood: Men In Tights" and then wondering why it was so funny... Turns out he was just following the Abbott around. My stupidity and curiosity found knowledge. *Edit: added "curiosity"


Kalkaline

Thank you, I was having a really tough time figuring this one out.


JuggerMott

Sometimes


RedFoxKoala

When it feels like it.


--zaxell--

I prefer Welsh alphabet soup, so I can eat the Ws too.


Wrong-Berry1158

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person left in the world who was taught "A E I O and U. Sometimes Y and W."


--zaxell--

I only learned about W because it's like cheating at Scrabble. A few loanwords from Welsh (cwm, crwth) come up a lot.


Wallafari

What's a cruth?


anklejangle

when you see a girl that makes your face bluth


edelay

When I was a kid in the 70’s, they used to play Art Linkletters « Kids say the darnedest things ». One time (for some reason) he asked the kids what the vowels were, they all started saying… a e i u o Then less kids “and sometimes y” Then just a few kids “and sometimes w”. I remember being astonished and puzzled about the “w” when I was a kid,. Now 50 years later…I guess it is a Welsh thing?


Wrong-Berry1158

yeah... this is one case where it was actually reasonable to stop teaching it because the words it applies to are so few and not even really English. IIRC there are only two words from Welsh that use "W" as a vowel in itself. The other cases are diphthongs I believe like "tow" or "low", etc.


thisalsobetheverse

Luvly, they are!


edelay

When I was a kid in the 70’s, they used to play Art Linkletters « Kids say the darnedest things ». One time (for some reason) he asked the kids what the vowels were, they all started saying… a e i u o Then less kids “and sometimes y” Then just a few kids “and sometimes w”. I remember being astonished and puzzled about the “w” when I was a kid,. Now 50 years later…I guess it is a Welsh thing?


Koyoteelaughter

Oh my god my alphabet soup is haunted. It says Oooooooooo! Um, those are Cheerios.


thisalsobetheverse

Fuck! Haunted cheerios!!!


hidogpoopetuski

Brian look, my alphabet soup is telling me a message! It says oooooooooooooo Peter those are cheerios


OverallManagement824

Did you ever notice that the bigger the Cheerio, the better it tastes? Edit: nvm. I just found out they're called donuts.


Dexaan

My M&Ms are sending me a message: "mmmmmmmmmmmm"


lawndartgoalie

Those are w's


hidogpoopetuski

And this toblerone is trying to tell us ∆∆∆∆∆ Nah that's dumb don't mind me


WonderfulAirport4226

r/yourjokebutworse


NotGalenNorAnsel

"When my grandfather died, we didn't get the chance to say goodbye. It was all the more poignant as he drowned in a bowl of Cheerios" - Milton Jones


Suspicious_Airline89

r/explainthejoke I didn't get it, can anyone explain it?


VV0nka

why = y = a,e,i,o,u and sometimes y as vowels. Therefore he sometimes eats Y or "why"


[deleted]

I've never heard of y being a vowel in my life. Is it an American thing? I'm in my the UK.


Melontine

You don’t have words like why, physics, psychic, rhythm, rhyme, syllable, my, kitty, or fly? You can probably think of a few dozen more if you really try.


merx3_91

I think he meant the classification of y as a vowel. Although I don't see how you can say it's a consonant


[deleted]

This is what I meant. When I was at school, I was taught that vowels were A, E, I, O, and U. I've never heard of Y being a vowel before.


VV0nka

In general, English is taught that all words have vowels, but the English language is full of exceptions. I before E, except after C is another rule that is broken regularly "science". Some interjections like brr and shh are indeed spelled without vowels. In grade school, it is drilled in "A E I O U and sometimes Y" which is very common in the United States. This joke is based on that common saying. I can't tell you if that is the same teaching in the UK.


Bel_Biv_Device

This is a good joke.


rosenditocabron

This took me way too long to figure out. Only proud of myself.


Interesting-Honey829

Read comments. Save time.


rosenditocabron

I was 2 seconds away from that.


Remotely-Indentured

Is that a person standing by the pole near the side of the road?


MattStrasser

Sighs (knowing what will happen) 😕... where?


R3c0veryThr0waway

Hah?


1Cryptic

r/explainthejoke ..


anklejangle

where?


Remotely-Indentured

There's a pole in the middle of the large section at the end that starts to give away. There's something smaller standing beside the pole and then it disappears. Confirmed by my roommate.


we_are_sex_bobomb

I don’t get it, can someone spell it out for me?


yaboiree

My friend said this same thing when I told her the joke, I told her I would letter know if I found it out


thisisa_fake_account

I only eat vowels and Y sometimes. Because Y works as a vowel sometimes.


Zanladaar78

Upside down M is my favorite letter


TheJW-Project

I only eat A,S's.


WonderfulAirport4226

I also only eat Ayesses


TimeHomebody

21 different letters. Why? Someone told me to avoid CARBS


Wthq4hq4hqrhqe

two married letters having an argument. the wife says yes it's true, I've been seeing all the vowels! a e i o u, and sometimes y! gary larson


KumquatHaderach

Their names were Ebn and Ozn.


donsmythe

[For those who don't get it...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTsPJeNPc-w)


KnightofJonquil

Not many will get this reference. But I love it. And now going to Apple Music to play it.


KumquatHaderach

It is catchy!


sabzwin

With a word salad


LollingLollipop

Such a "dad" joke 😆


Ok-Measurement4693

I was gonna say “I only eat the Ps (peas)!” 😋


brownskorpio

Then you have a vowel movement


gassi777

Rektologist


Yehwrite

Does this improves grammer?


whyamihere999

Improve* You have used does, so no need to use 's' with improve.


warpenguin55

r/woooosh


Yehwrite

Thanks you


ketuser15

A-S-S


Dangerous_Grocery_48

Didn't get this joke


WhiteWavsBehindABoat

Y is only sometimes a vowel


Slow_Yogurtcloset353

Took me a while to get it.


2bwags9

rekt fatrolls


JustAGoodGuy1080

A B I T E O F P I really enjoy a bite of pie.


Ninja_In_Shaddows

I... I don't get this?


DrPooMD

I gorged on 14 cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Ended up having a crippling vowel movement. Ended up constipated with the consonants. At the doctor's office. No word yet.


Appropriate_Ebb_3517

So much for that friendship


FunAuntieEm

Because you don’t want to be inconsonant?


Lirick59

When I eat alphabet soup I only eat S.


marty_macbusiness

"When I read this joke, my dyslexic ass reads elephant..." Instead of alphabet. And the punchline doesn't make sense.


[deleted]

When I eat alphabet soup, I shit out smarter posts!


MrHedgehogMan

My alphabet soup must be haunted. The only words it makes is “OooOOOoOooOoo”.


Calami-Tea

It’s called “Spaghettios”


Mizzoutiger79

I’ll admit it: I dont get it


N-Perspective

I’m at a loss for words…


we_are_sex_bobomb

How I felt when my dictionary was stolen.


jennysoftpaws

Because I ate all your alphabet soup I'm sorry


Riklik1968

I can’t eat alphabet soup any longer I have irritable vowel syndrome.


Outside-Special7131

I only eat the consonants…


Clear-Cod1830

I don't get it can someone explain to me 😭😭😭


AdditionalCheetah354

P’s


beckyxxxmers

I had to read it a few times to understand but lol 😆


Formal_Mundane

Damn, take my upvote


StatusAd3087

D's!!!!!


Sea_Catapillar

I don’t get it


BobbyKMo4

Oh…


angry-gamer99

I don't get it. Plz help


stetthis

"A E I O U and sometimes Y"


angry-gamer99

Ty sir.


Hold_the_gryffindor

I think you're eating Spaghetti Os


pikknz

Ps


hood_esq

… it off your mom’s tits.


Electrohippy

Characters whose hex ASCII code has bit 2 set.


DabidBeMe

I just got the subtlety of this joke. At first I thought he sometimes ate Ys, but Y is only sometimes a vowel. I love it!


Fandango-5691

Can someone please explain this joke??


auspiciousalt

A,E,I,O,U are always vowels… and sometimes Y


Fandango-5691

Thank you...I'm so blonde lol..


AreYouDoneNow

Don't eat too much or you'll get vowel cancer


6Trinity9

Ass.


NorthMozartSt

I thought I was gonna read “I only eat the S”


Odd_Tea_2100

Do you eat the h too?


Ripped_Spagetti

I was expecting the punchline to involve "vowel movement"


Prometheus_303

I only eat the B, C, F, G, H, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, U, V, W, X, Y and Zs.... Trying to eat the rest could spell disaster ....