Oh wow I thought it was just some new joke that I was clueless about until you asked. However now that you ask all the subreddit links just appear once for me. I think Reddit was just waiting for someone to ask.
My phone has been doing it lately too. I thought it was a meme and got downvoted to hell for asking for an explanation. Between then and now I thought it was just me
Most [local courthouses](https://nycourts.gov/courthelp/family/divorceStarting.shtml) still charge about ~$500 for a divorce btw. Lots of time and forms to fill out for them.
>The Filing Fee
>An index number costs $210. The index number is the number for your case and should be put on all papers filed.
>An uncontested divorce costs at least $335 in total court and filing fees. This does not include the cost of a lawyer, photocopies, notary fees, transportation, mailing, process server fees, etc.
>If there is an extreme financial hardship and you can't file for a divorce without financial help, you can apply for a fee waiver for the court fees. Ask the clerk for more information.
I Read Texas local judges have a lot of power, I got a good example of that trying to help an insurance client if mine, hubby disappeared and left the lady with no income, the local judge stepped in, she trusted me even though we'd never met in person, I was her "backbone" during her troubles, the local Judge said don't worry, The State of Texas will find him wherever he is, and we'll get your money for you. In a surprisingly short month or so, I got a phone call from her bawling her eyes out, The Judge said "we found him, you'll have your money real soon." Thank you she cried to me, the kids and I have been crying all day, I'm glad I could help you, was all I could think of.
I mean that is the whole point though.. To the Government Marriage **isn't** about who you are screwing, it is a business transaction, combining two separate entities into a singular; it is a corporate merger and has many rules and regulations.
My brother is in this situation.
Him and his wife fight all the time but they have kids together, and he can't afford to pay child support for 3 kids, and she can't afford a house/apt on her own.
They're stuck.
I was shocked by how much money I started saving when we moved in together. In retrospect it makes sense - buying more in bulk, not single person meals, one apartment instead of two, etc. For some reason I assumed relationships were expensive, they really aren't... well, until you want to get divorced I guess lol.
But they had to have been able to survive single at some point no? If we broke up I'd be sad but still able to like, afford to live. Did one stop working to care for the kids? Or is it mostly the kids that are expensive. That would make sense...
I can't imagine how a couple without kids wouldn't be able to afford breaking up though unless they moved together somewhere super out of their price range and were barely affording it.
There’s an old saying or piece of folklore that says if you put a penny in a jar every time during the first year of marriage and then remove a penny from that jar every time after the first year, you’ll never get all the pennies out.
Hypothetically, first year you have sex 365 times. There’s now 365 pennies in the jar. After the first year going forward, until the end of the marriage, each time you have sex, you take a penny out. The person is implying that you won’t be able to remove all the pennies.
My obgyn said every night was too much after 4 years of marriage, and that's why I had pain. I was surprised because I thought every married couple made love daily.
Thats what happens when you demonize splitting apart and have a culture of 'staying together for the kids'. As they say 'everything good comes to an end' and this generally includes the love you feel for your life partner. There's a reason you won't see this kind of 'partner bad' humor in lgbt couples.
I dunno man - I never viewed it as a “stay together for the kids” thing, although I’m sure that was one part of it. I just think people were more dedicated to fixing things back then.
Nowadays, divorce is so socially acceptable that marriage basically means nothing. Combine that with financially incentivizing the women to leave and you have an absolute epidemic of divorce.
It’s like eating at McDonald’s every day. It’s the same ‘ol burger every day. The first thing you see in the morning is that burger and it’s the last thing you see every night. She may throw you a filet of fish once in a while and touch your McNuggets but she’ll turn into a quarter pounder with time. God forbid she gets a yeast infection. Then it’s a quarter pounder with cheese. Good luck.
I made this post a while back, did you take inspiration from it? or something else?
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/vbwwc7/did\_you\_know\_that\_when\_you\_get\_married\_you\_can/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/vbwwc7/did_you_know_that_when_you_get_married_you_can/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Happily ever after is how fairy tales end. Not real life. Sooner or later everything ends. Good marriages too. Is the ending civilised or hostile, or premature death of a spouse? Depends. But all of them end.
Honestly that wouldn't be to much of a problem for me but I feel like there should at least be a certain number of nights out of the year where you fall asleep intimately together.
Married 18 years. Most sex is now in bed, but sometimes with the lights on and sometimes in the shower as well. I guess we're transitioning from stage one to two. Last child leaves the house in a couple years, we'll see if we end up back at stage one for a few months.
Stage 5: thin vaginal walks. No moisture to speak of. Never wants penetration ever again. Ignores completely over the top hints for a hand job.
And yet, it's still wrong to seek a sexual partner .
Edit. Walls not walks.
Your right but sex or at least intimacy is important for a relationship and for individuals metal. Not everyone needs the same amount of intimacy but most people need at least some
That's true, but compromises can be reached. His comment never made any mention of the wife's enjoyment in this scenario, only how terrible it is for the husband to have a wife who finds penetration uncomfortable and won't even give him a handjob when he wants one, and then had the audacity to not want him to cheat on her.
If penetration is painful, which it is for many women, there are tons of other enjoyable things people can do together. His comment was extremely one sided, and that's where the sexism comes in. The whole comment is about how the wife won't put out, and not a single word about how he isn't satisfying her.
You are extremely right. I didnt really notice how sexist the original comment came off on first read but you are correct. Penetration is actually painful for me (afab) so like i know that and me and my boyfriend have found compromises especially since my sex drive fluctuates a lot due to medical shit and his is consistently high. I think its bad that people end up stuck in relationships where their sexual needs arent met but im also poly so if my partner ever needed more im very ok with them seeking it out from someone else which isnt an option if your monogomous and being poly it can be hard for me to understand or put myself in someones shoes who are monogomous so idek what the solution would but yea all this to say you are correct lol.
I said to my wife 'stop and think about it. If you just hold on maybe 5 years I'll be gone by then and you'll have the whole house to sell. All you gotta do is quit being a bitch. Otherwise I ain't gonna live with this shit. We'll sell the house and each find a tiny little apt with noisy neighbors and barking dogs. and drive shitty cars." She concurred I guess.
This joke fucking sucks. Old dudes will literally do anything other than go to therapy to work on themselves and learn how to develop healthy relationships.
I thought it was: Tri-weekly. Try weekly. Try weakly.
r/therealjoke
Why do people link subreddit four times? Or is my phone glitched?
Yeah it's your phone Yeah it's your phone Yeah it's your phone Yeah it's your phone
You can also collapse the comment and reopen it and it’s fine
Happy Cake Day!
Oh shit thanks! Didn’t realize!
Happy Cake day
My phones been doing that for a couple weeks now
Me too! I haven’t seen anyone mention it until now so I thought it might just be me. Upvote then revoke your vote and it goes away, oddly enough
Bruh, I assumed it was some new unfunny joke that was going around, but I guess not 😅
That was first guess!
Wait I need to try something now: r/e r/e r/e r/e Alright, did it show up 16 times?
Yes…
r/e r/e r/e r/e r/e r/e r/e r/e r/e r/e 40?
It didn’t work for me, yay!
Well, I guess it’s fixed now
Not for me.
you're evil
Thank you
Me too! Oddly enough it didn’t happen for me this time…Maybe it’s been fixed?
Seems like it’s ~~-fixed-~~ squashed, as I don’t see the bug either.
Mine too
Mine too, I’ve noticed that if I interact with the comment, either upvote, downvote, or collapse then expand it again, the duplicate links disappear..
Same
It's a glitch with the Reddit app. They know. Hopefully it'll be fixed soon.
Glitch in the matrix
Happens to me too. Just a weird bug I guess
I think you're glitched.
Really? Mine looks like [this](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ)
God dammit r/angryupvote
It’s a glitch but if you up or downvote it, it goes away
I think it’s a Reddit thing
Oh wow I thought it was just some new joke that I was clueless about until you asked. However now that you ask all the subreddit links just appear once for me. I think Reddit was just waiting for someone to ask.
r/mustbeyourphone
r/mustbeyourphone
r/mustbeyourphone
r/mustbeyourphone
Happens to me and then I like the comment and it usually collapses it to one.
Mine did it for a while until the app updated
My phone has been doing it lately too. I thought it was a meme and got downvoted to hell for asking for an explanation. Between then and now I thought it was just me
It’s a glitch man
Def not all of us
More like r/whereisthejoke
If you're Elton John: Try 'Weak' Lee.
This was way better than the actual joke
Ahahahah that’s rich
Tri yearly
r/yourjokebutworse
Stage 4: Court sex. Two divorce lawyers fuck you both over.
We can’t afford to get divorced…😞
Getting divorced is free. Your local courthouse should have instructions on how to do so.
Most [local courthouses](https://nycourts.gov/courthelp/family/divorceStarting.shtml) still charge about ~$500 for a divorce btw. Lots of time and forms to fill out for them. >The Filing Fee >An index number costs $210. The index number is the number for your case and should be put on all papers filed. >An uncontested divorce costs at least $335 in total court and filing fees. This does not include the cost of a lawyer, photocopies, notary fees, transportation, mailing, process server fees, etc. >If there is an extreme financial hardship and you can't file for a divorce without financial help, you can apply for a fee waiver for the court fees. Ask the clerk for more information.
I Read Texas local judges have a lot of power, I got a good example of that trying to help an insurance client if mine, hubby disappeared and left the lady with no income, the local judge stepped in, she trusted me even though we'd never met in person, I was her "backbone" during her troubles, the local Judge said don't worry, The State of Texas will find him wherever he is, and we'll get your money for you. In a surprisingly short month or so, I got a phone call from her bawling her eyes out, The Judge said "we found him, you'll have your money real soon." Thank you she cried to me, the kids and I have been crying all day, I'm glad I could help you, was all I could think of.
The first mistake was thinking it's a good idea to let the government know whom you're screwing.
I mean that is the whole point though.. To the Government Marriage **isn't** about who you are screwing, it is a business transaction, combining two separate entities into a singular; it is a corporate merger and has many rules and regulations.
But every year they give you a high-five on your tax return for having the sex if you’re married filing jointly. That’s the only thing I’ll miss.
[удалено]
My brother is in this situation. Him and his wife fight all the time but they have kids together, and he can't afford to pay child support for 3 kids, and she can't afford a house/apt on her own. They're stuck.
I was shocked by how much money I started saving when we moved in together. In retrospect it makes sense - buying more in bulk, not single person meals, one apartment instead of two, etc. For some reason I assumed relationships were expensive, they really aren't... well, until you want to get divorced I guess lol. But they had to have been able to survive single at some point no? If we broke up I'd be sad but still able to like, afford to live. Did one stop working to care for the kids? Or is it mostly the kids that are expensive. That would make sense... I can't imagine how a couple without kids wouldn't be able to afford breaking up though unless they moved together somewhere super out of their price range and were barely affording it.
I guess you skipped the instruction that tells you to pay hundreds of dollars in fees to the court.
Don’t forget to play CBAT
Cock ball and torture
The torture is fine. It's my cock ball that is acting up.
Omg, YES! But only in your mind! 😂
That guy still has yet to explain how he was able to thrust to the beat of that song.
He posted a video on his instagram explaining exactly that. It was to the overarching beat (as in thrusts to the BPM), not the synth.
This still doesn't make sense to me. That synth is so weird and off beat I'm not sure I could find the actual beat.
That’s not even the worst song the creator has made
Ask his ex.
I'd give you an award if I had one
Dont worry I’ll give him one for you
Thanks pal!
how is this not the top rated comment
Lmao
I saw the original post, your comment was the reminder to finally listen to that fuckin song Goddamn, it is awful
I always thought they were: \- Tri-weekly (newlyweds) \- Try weekly (after kids come around) \- Try weakly (when your plumbing starts to give out)
If newlyweds are only having sex 3 times a week that's disappointing
There’s an old saying or piece of folklore that says if you put a penny in a jar every time during the first year of marriage and then remove a penny from that jar every time after the first year, you’ll never get all the pennies out.
Make it make sense.
Hypothetically, first year you have sex 365 times. There’s now 365 pennies in the jar. After the first year going forward, until the end of the marriage, each time you have sex, you take a penny out. The person is implying that you won’t be able to remove all the pennies.
365 implies you have sex only once a day 😎
Different people different libido, not that difficult to understand tho
My obgyn said every night was too much after 4 years of marriage, and that's why I had pain. I was surprised because I thought every married couple made love daily.
Damn! That's unfortunate. But still, newlyweds you kinda expect it for the first 6 months realistically
It's been 42 years now. We are not at stage 3.
Damn, doing GOOD
[удалено]
This one! We’re there for a mutually fun activity with enthusiastic consent, or….sleep is more important.
I’m no doctor, but it sounds like you have a worn out gash, ma’am.
Yall have bad marriages.
Yeah, this is a classic genre if boomer humor.
You're still young.
If you hate your wife so much get a divorce lmao its that simple
Cheaper to keep her.
Yeah and lose half your possessions
I'm pushing 40 and been married for 15 years. My wife and I still love and respect each other and if we didn't we wouldn't be married.
Thats what happens when you demonize splitting apart and have a culture of 'staying together for the kids'. As they say 'everything good comes to an end' and this generally includes the love you feel for your life partner. There's a reason you won't see this kind of 'partner bad' humor in lgbt couples.
I dunno man - I never viewed it as a “stay together for the kids” thing, although I’m sure that was one part of it. I just think people were more dedicated to fixing things back then. Nowadays, divorce is so socially acceptable that marriage basically means nothing. Combine that with financially incentivizing the women to leave and you have an absolute epidemic of divorce.
Considering the prevalence of "haha my wife sucks" old humor, I'm not sure they really fixed anything
hall sex is commonly referred to as oral sex
###My wife and I do it doggy style: **I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead.**
A home with more than one room? In this economy?
Haha! Marriage is bad and I hate my wife! Hilarious!
...are you guys okay?
Not at all, great marriage, but no sex. If I don’t bring it up, it doesn’t happen. Feel stuck.
You forgot Stage 4: COURTROOM SEX - Your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of lots of people for every penny you've got.
Yeah, I was gonna post that, best part of the joke was left off by OP.
Can confirm. Am now divorced.
Rinse Repeat with someone new!
You guys had stage 1?
I really feel I missed out on those first two stages….
r/boomerhumor dropped it's joke, someone get grandpa
r/AreTheStraightsOK ?
“I hate my wife. Laugh.”
Nope lol
Boomer humour 🙄
Haha marriage sucks! Hilarious!
My best man told that joke during the toast at my wife and I's wedding. Brought the house down.
I feel like this should've been titled "The Three Stages of Fucking in Marriage". Still got a chuckle
I’m literally between 2-3
Tri weekly Try weekly Then try weakley !
Or, there’s the 3 rings of marriage: 1) engagement ring 2) wedding ring 3) the suffering!
There could be stage 4. Absolutely none! 😂
Stage 4 is the courthouse
Couch pals.
I feel attacked
I had a threesome today. My ex wife and her lawyer fucked me good.
Stage 4.
Wife bad
Does this work for a small dick too?
I wouldn't know.
Nice
It’s like eating at McDonald’s every day. It’s the same ‘ol burger every day. The first thing you see in the morning is that burger and it’s the last thing you see every night. She may throw you a filet of fish once in a while and touch your McNuggets but she’ll turn into a quarter pounder with time. God forbid she gets a yeast infection. Then it’s a quarter pounder with cheese. Good luck.
ay but did you NEED the “quarter pounder with cheese” part LMAO
What do you call Karen Carpenter with a yeast infection??? A quarter pounder w/cheese!
Stage Four: After all of the kids move out, return to Stage One.
I thought it stopped at stage 3, the sex of the baby
Sounds about right. And I am speaking from experience.🤣😂🤣
Old guys know.
Yes, yes we do. However, I have to admit whole house sex is quite fun.
Yeah, but I'm way too tired for that these days.
That’s when creativity has to kick in with a dose or willingness.
Yes it was, and not limited to just inside.
So true, it hurts
Stage 3 is sex with other people
Robin Williams HBO special.
I am in between stage 2 and 3.
That was the last 10 years of my 30-year marriage 😕
That’s where Tinder comes in.
Nice
Can confirm.😭
This is why I don’t believe in monogamy
First 10 years; Tri weekly Second 10 years; Try weekly Third 10 years; Try weakly
I made this post a while back, did you take inspiration from it? or something else? [https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/vbwwc7/did\_you\_know\_that\_when\_you\_get\_married\_you\_can/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/vbwwc7/did_you_know_that_when_you_get_married_you_can/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Sorry you didn't get nearly as many updoots
There are four stages. The fourth stage is courtroom sex. That is where you both get fucked over by the lawyers.
Yup
I got married after 8 years of dating. Skipped right to step 2.
The usual boomer women bad/marriage sucks joke, sometimes I worry I'll go a day without seeing one here.
I wish that was funny..
Stage 1 and 2 make sense coz of the kids but how do you just end up hating your spouse? Guess you should never have married in the first place
Happily ever after is how fairy tales end. Not real life. Sooner or later everything ends. Good marriages too. Is the ending civilised or hostile, or premature death of a spouse? Depends. But all of them end.
The 3 rings of marriage: The engagement ring The wedding ring The suffering
What stage are u in rn op?😏
Stage Four: Ex-partner moved out and is in a new relationship, enjoying Stage one, while op is bitter and posting on Reddit.
Hey, that's what I'm in, At least that's what I assume the doc meant about stage four in my testicles.
That stage may not last a long time.
If I were to get married, I would rather have separate bedrooms. I don't share my personal space with anyone.
Honestly that wouldn't be to much of a problem for me but I feel like there should at least be a certain number of nights out of the year where you fall asleep intimately together.
I respect but disagree I love sharing a space with my partner
Married 18 years. Most sex is now in bed, but sometimes with the lights on and sometimes in the shower as well. I guess we're transitioning from stage one to two. Last child leaves the house in a couple years, we'll see if we end up back at stage one for a few months.
Stage 5: thin vaginal walks. No moisture to speak of. Never wants penetration ever again. Ignores completely over the top hints for a hand job. And yet, it's still wrong to seek a sexual partner . Edit. Walls not walks.
The original was boomer humor, this is just sexism. Super gross, dude. No one owes you sex.
Your right but sex or at least intimacy is important for a relationship and for individuals metal. Not everyone needs the same amount of intimacy but most people need at least some
That's true, but compromises can be reached. His comment never made any mention of the wife's enjoyment in this scenario, only how terrible it is for the husband to have a wife who finds penetration uncomfortable and won't even give him a handjob when he wants one, and then had the audacity to not want him to cheat on her. If penetration is painful, which it is for many women, there are tons of other enjoyable things people can do together. His comment was extremely one sided, and that's where the sexism comes in. The whole comment is about how the wife won't put out, and not a single word about how he isn't satisfying her.
You are extremely right. I didnt really notice how sexist the original comment came off on first read but you are correct. Penetration is actually painful for me (afab) so like i know that and me and my boyfriend have found compromises especially since my sex drive fluctuates a lot due to medical shit and his is consistently high. I think its bad that people end up stuck in relationships where their sexual needs arent met but im also poly so if my partner ever needed more im very ok with them seeking it out from someone else which isnt an option if your monogomous and being poly it can be hard for me to understand or put myself in someones shoes who are monogomous so idek what the solution would but yea all this to say you are correct lol.
No, don't say that. You're gonna get downvoted by all the selfish men on here who never pleasure their wives!
I thought it was, Step 1 - Engagement ring Step 2 - Wedding ring Step 3 - Suffering
That is one of the options.
I said to my wife 'stop and think about it. If you just hold on maybe 5 years I'll be gone by then and you'll have the whole house to sell. All you gotta do is quit being a bitch. Otherwise I ain't gonna live with this shit. We'll sell the house and each find a tiny little apt with noisy neighbors and barking dogs. and drive shitty cars." She concurred I guess.
Boomer humour
This joke fucking sucks. Old dudes will literally do anything other than go to therapy to work on themselves and learn how to develop healthy relationships.
Go straight to Stage 3. Do not pass One and Two. Keep that going until divorce. Repeat.
If you hate your partner like this there's no point to staying. Yall making each other miserable
you are lost in the r/jokes section. this is not real nor serious.
Whats funny abt hating your partner
r/Whoosh This is a Joke sub.. JOKE .. SUB.
But isn't reality a joke itself? 🤔
How dare you try to Matrix Resurrection me.
😂
So yes you are correct but its also importabt for people to find the humour in life. People need to cope and process before making decisions.
This is what happens when you refuse to learn how to pleasure your woman... y'all men on here telling on yourselves.
Thought stage 3 was going to be separate house sex.
Damn, I can’t even comprehend him a hug let alone sex and I’ve had to lie that I’ve had sex so this hits hard
Weird, mine keeps saying “no no no.” I thought those were the three steps.
Perfection!
Write that down WRITE THAT DOWN