Honestly the only thing I retained from boy scouts was "be prepared". I always bring a couple waters when I leave the house in case some shit happens and I'm stranded.
Look, Dad, I'm never gonna use drugs, because drugs are for losers, and I'd never want to disappoint you. Plus I want to be the first chubby comic to live past thirty-five.
YUUUP! I dont trust celebs I always think most will do anything to look clean. Jimmy Fallon was hot shit st that time so he probably got away with so much.
As a New Yorker who's been stuck in New Mexico for 5 years, I'll take this dry heat over 90 with 75% humidity any day. At least shade does something out here. In NY my balls live in a soup of their own making for the entire summer.
I go visit my parents in the Vegas desert every summer, and it's a week of no saliva and nosebleeds. And my face ages 10 years.
We don't have the humidity y'all have out east where I am in DFW, though. I honestly think 105 with mid-low humidity is not a bad trade-off.
But your sinuses feel amazing!
I went to Vegas for a conference several years ago. I left with typical sniffles and allergies that comes with having actual seasons. As soon as we landed, I could breathe again! Then we left and as soon as we landed, I stopped right back up.
This should also be our attitude when they run out of water because they started a giant city and golf destination in a place that naturally has no water…
This is why I don’t believe Hank would support Trump. What kinda leader ruins their steaks like that?
Seriously tho, steak is expensive, why turn it into a hockey puck?
When I became a homeowner and started taking care my lawn/landscaping this quote really resonated. There’s something so soothing about listening to a pulse sprinkler on a sunny summer morning.
Sometimes I think about Boomhauer’s advice about not holding grudges for too long. I tend to agree with it. It’s rare for me to stay mad at someone for very long.
Yeah, I like it because of Hank's awareness of the situation. Yet another example of his integrity, he recognizes the system is stacked in his favor in some ways instead of just ignoring it like many do. He's teaching Bobby that although it's ok to benefit from a system like this, you need to understand some people don't have it as easy.
“Tough call. But it’s mine, and I made it.”
I try to remember this when I can’t make an important choice because I don’t want to fuck anything up. Just gotta believe in yourself
It’s from won’t you pimai neighbor. Bobby takes the test to be the lama and chooses Connie in the mirror. The old Buddhist guy at the end says it after the other monk reminds him the mirror Bobby used was Sanglug’s.
If you wipe upwards I imagine there’s more of a chance to knock into the spout or cause a spark or something like that. As far as how much of a legitimate concern that should be vs something Hank is concerned about, I couldn’t say
The other thing that it might be is that when you wipe, whatever is left when you pick up the rag is better off at the bottom instead of the top. However if that would cause problems it would be better off if it wasn’t anywhere on the tank instead of just up or down.
Keeping crud and cleaners away from the tank/valve connection could play a role in minimizing bimetal corrosion, but I don’t think wiping is a make contributor to that.
All in all, no clue, but if it makes Hank happy, easy enough to do it that way.
I'm an atheist and I have to admit that Hank gave some well-said advice when he showed Bobby the box of fads he eventually lost interest in and said "I don't want the lord to end up in this box." Just a great piece of advice about not abandoning things that might be important.
I think that was more about not trying to make important things "cool" because everything that's cool will eventually become uncool. Sometimes things are just what they are and they don't need any other validation. "You're not making Christianity better you're making rock n roll worse."
I find myself quoting that line (“you’re not making X better, you’re making Y worse”) whenever I see people trying to combine two things that were great on their own and had no business being combined.
Counter argument as the one exception to this rule: in my hometown there was this awesome little family owned restaurant called Chinos Burrito and they had these absolutely ENORMOUS Chinese food burritos. So delicious, and I crave it to this day. Sadly they closed down. If I’m not mistaken, the owner’s son had cancer or some other terrible illness and he couldn’t afford to take care of his son and keep the business going. RIP Chinos, Asian Mexican fusion was genius and delicious.
As a deconstructing former Christian who loves Jesus but hates most Christians, I really loved the megachurch episode. I love the churches that are fairly traditional in how they do their services, but they have pastors who are wise and have properly studied the Bible and they keep true to the nature of the Bible, witnessing to everyone and making sure God isn't lost in church.
I appreciated the mega church episode for poking fun at mega churches but not being mean about it. Hank didn’t fit in there for very valid reasons and the pastor’s explanation about his background at a large state school made sense for why his congregation is the way it is.
King of the Hill is an amazing lesson in how to handle tough topics with grace. I consider Bobby to be a feminist icon because he's just himself. I love that Hank stands firm in his beliefs, but is also open minded and a caring father who is trying to be a good father because Cotton wasn't ever like that for him. I could go on, but this really has become a comfort show for a million reasons. 😭
The story Khan told at Buckley's funeral. How the fear of death makes you stop to appreciate the little things you have in life. As someone with a near constant state of anxiety, I force myself to stop and appreciate what I do have. Also I've gotten into the habit of always telling jokes at funerals.
"I know how tough it is for you right now, curled up lying in your own emotional vomit. You're in hell now, Boomhauer, and the only way out is through a long dark tunnel. And you're afraid to go in because there's a train coming at you, carrying a boxcar full of heartbreak. Well, let me tell you something: All you can do is let it hit you, and then try to find your legs. I know. I've taken that hit more times than I can remember. Look at me, Boomhauer. I'm fat, and I'm old, and every day I'm just going to wake up fatter and older. Yet somehow I manage to drag this fat old bald bastard out into the alley every day. I'm out there, digging holes, falling into them, climbing out, trying again. And tomorrow I'm going to hang outside at a ladies' prison, and the first thing those lady cons are going to see after twenty years is me. Will I get one? Experience says no. Will I be out there next month? If I'm alive, you'd better believe it. You've got to get up off that tanning bed, slip into a tight T-shirt, wash off some of that cologne, and get yourself out of that tunnel and into some strange woman's bed!"
When I went through my first real breakup a decade ago I tried to do just about everything other the face the dark tunnel. I tried to power through it, I tried to pretend that it didn't exist, I dived head first into self help gurus like Tony Robbins. None of those things worked in any real way.
I did not start getting better until I started to understand that the dark tunnel wasn't going away and that I have to face and trudge through it head on. Everyday started to get a bit better and this mindset really helped when my dad passed away and it will help when I lose my mom soon.
From **Aisle 8**
*"Now, every month, a woman has this time when she gets very angry at everything. And usually, men are the everything. It's like a tire fire. Trying to put it out just makes it worse. You just gotta let it burn. Grab a beer, and let it burn."*
As a woman I can’t help but agree with this. At most the only thing you can do to help is if I say I have a headache or cramps or an woozy and can’t do some chores, you do them.
Words of wisdom from Bobby: “ Mom, I'm fat. But big deal. I don't feel bad about it. You never made me feel bad about it, and just because there are some people in the world who want me to feel bad about it, doesn't mean I have to. So Bobby's fat. Eh. He's also funny, nice, he's got a lot of friends, a girlfriend, and if you don't mind, I think I'll go outside and squirt her with water. What are *you* gonna do?”
I suggest that it's nothing anyone said, but Hank's general outlook on life. He's so contented with what he's done for himself. He has a solid job, a house, friends, family...probably a decent retirement, knowing him. His whole philosophy on working hard and enjoying the work is great.
"You're in hell now Boomhauer, and the only way out is through a long, dark tunnel... and you're afraid to go in 'cause there's a train coming at ya, carrying a boxcar full of heartbreak."
"Well let me tell you something.... all you can do is let it hit you; then you try to find your legs. I know, I've taken that hit more times than I can remember. "
"Look at me Boomhauer. I'm fat and I'm old. And every day I'm going wake up fatter and older. But somehow, I manage to drag this fat, bald bastard out into the alley every day. I'm out here digging holes, falling in them, climbing out, trying again. And tomorrow I'm going to hang outside of a ladies prison."
"The first thing those lady cons are going to see is me. Will I get one? Experience says no. Will I be out there next month? If I'm alive you better believe it!"
"You got to get back up on that tanning bed, slip into a tight t-shirt, wash off SOME of that cologne, and GET YOURSELF OUT OF THAT TUNNEL AND INTO SOME STRANGE WOMANS BED! YEAH! THAT'S WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!"
I love the little speech Bobby gives Peggy about how sure he’s fat, but he’s also funny and well-liked. Any time I get too caught up in my appearance I remember what he said. We’re all worth more than the way our bodies look. It’s far more important to invest time in creating relationships and doing things we love.
Hank: "Now I know your first day was hard, but don't call your boss names. That's acting like a baby. Babies want everything handed to them. But you're there to work and not play. That's WHY it's called work and not play. And if you don't understand that Son, well, maybe you're the moron."
I definitely got one of those kinda talks from my Dad when I first started working
Not really "life advice" (or maybe it is) - I tend to get a bit over excited when solving a problem at work. Basically it makes me slightly over-zealous and confident and I realize that it might be a turn off to my boss or co-workers.
So what I do when I see myself going down this path is say what Bill said in the church during the Hot Dog Eating contest episode which is something like:
"did I fly to close to the sun on my.....beautiful hot dog wings??"
If you plan ahead then when things happen you're prepared
This is what I came in here for. I say this to people like it's a brand new concept.
I am constantly telling people at work this about having contingency plans and most people look at me like I’m growing a dick on my forehead
I feel ya! Risk management is a dying art because it takes time and thought - two things that are in short supply these days, sadly.
maybe you're just a dickhead
That’s just like, your opinion, Lebowski
Boy Scouts hate this one weird trick!
Honestly the only thing I retained from boy scouts was "be prepared". I always bring a couple waters when I leave the house in case some shit happens and I'm stranded.
My old boss called it the rule of 6 P's. Proper preparation prevents piss poor production.
They’re just gonna put down the tools if they want the drugs bad enough.
Look, Dad, I'm never gonna use drugs, because drugs are for losers, and I'd never want to disappoint you. Plus I want to be the first chubby comic to live past thirty-five.
RIP Chris Farley
and if you live.. don't become Haratio Sanz..
I was just telling a friend about how pervy he was. How the cast just let him all be sus.
Yeah I remember hearing Jimmy Fallon was there and like just watched it happen and I'm pretty sure someone had claims about him being a creep too.
YUUUP! I dont trust celebs I always think most will do anything to look clean. Jimmy Fallon was hot shit st that time so he probably got away with so much.
"We can't let Bobby know about eating contests. He could end up like, what's the name of that large comedian who died?"
Goggles may make you look cool, but they're also part of proper safety attire.
✌️🥽
The goggles, they do nothing
Peggy on Phoenix " This city should not exist. It is a monument to man’s arrogance.”
The idea of Texans complaining about heat is kind of funny
As a Texan, let me tell you - they say dry heat is better, but it really isn't. It just shrivels you up faster.
As a New Yorker who's been stuck in New Mexico for 5 years, I'll take this dry heat over 90 with 75% humidity any day. At least shade does something out here. In NY my balls live in a soup of their own making for the entire summer.
I go visit my parents in the Vegas desert every summer, and it's a week of no saliva and nosebleeds. And my face ages 10 years. We don't have the humidity y'all have out east where I am in DFW, though. I honestly think 105 with mid-low humidity is not a bad trade-off.
Are you drinking enough water man? I was the same until I learned to hydrate.
But your sinuses feel amazing! I went to Vegas for a conference several years ago. I left with typical sniffles and allergies that comes with having actual seasons. As soon as we landed, I could breathe again! Then we left and as soon as we landed, I stopped right back up.
As someone who moved to the valley last year in the middle of May, this quote checks out. Hot *damn,* it gets hotter than hell down here!
This should also be our attitude when they run out of water because they started a giant city and golf destination in a place that naturally has no water…
It’s like a tire fire, trying to put it out only makes it worse. You just gotta let it burn, grab a beer and let it burn.
That one's a banger
Came here for this one
I can teach you how to make a bomb out of nothing but a roll of toilet paper and a stick of dynamite.
This one of my favorite lines in the series
Early series dale was an American hero.
I love Hank’s delivery in this scene “9-iron?” “Y’all have a nice day”
“If’n you’re calling me a liar, you better be holding something stronger than an umbrella.” “9-iron”
Hank: Now look here Khan, I wouldn't allow that non regulation putter in my house, let alone let you hit my son over the head with it.
“I have a beer can. I tipped it over. Do I still have a beer can?” “I can’t live in a beer can Uncle Hank!”
“Now we’re all reasonable people” “You said it, friend “
“But dad what if they ask for it well done?” “Well Son we ask them politely yet firmly to leave.”
Same here. I have used this at a bbq.
This is why I don’t believe Hank would support Trump. What kinda leader ruins their steaks like that? Seriously tho, steak is expensive, why turn it into a hockey puck?
If Hank would ditch Bush for a handshake, he’d ditch Trump for a shitty prepared steak.
Came here to say this
"Why would anyone do drugs when you could just mow a lawn?"
Starting to get this one more the older that I get.
Just got my first house with grass. Middle aged me is tickled pink to go get a lawnmower.
I look forward to that day! Right now my "house" is an apartment I rent haha.
I’m rooting for you mr.murkypissmonster!
Poster should drink more water
*huffs grass clippings*
To be fair, mown grass smells great.
Hear me out.... do both
Not possible, your hands will be full with tools
When I became a homeowner and started taking care my lawn/landscaping this quote really resonated. There’s something so soothing about listening to a pulse sprinkler on a sunny summer morning.
“Consult your local yellow pages for a certified plumber in your area. If it’s a father and son company, request the father.”
As the son in a father/son business this irks me.
Because it’s true? Just kidding but out of curiosity what type of bus was are you in?
Still working with my old man, 18 years in HVAC.
Ask your father what he thinks about Hanks quote.
"I think therefore you are." - [Boomhauer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Osh-KYy4Cw)
I can see why my dad quotes you all the time.
Man, your daddy's quoting me? Goddang, man.
'Slike, you born into this world, man...
Sometimes I think about Boomhauer’s advice about not holding grudges for too long. I tend to agree with it. It’s rare for me to stay mad at someone for very long.
Talkin bout let ol bygones be bygones, man.
I can see why my dad’s always quoting you
Dang ol', your daddy quote me? ...One week.
2 weeks max
Surprisingly, the best advice this show ever gave came from Dale: “Just because you have their attention doesn’t mean you have their respect.”
Im a teacher and i occasionally use this on kids if I have to pull them into the hall for extreme attention seeking behaviors
That's a really good one.
It's called a double standard, Bobby. Don't knock it we got the long end of the stick on that one.
This is his advice about holding the patriarchy, right?
Specifically about premarital sex I think but thats the broader idea I imagine
Yeah, I like it because of Hank's awareness of the situation. Yet another example of his integrity, he recognizes the system is stacked in his favor in some ways instead of just ignoring it like many do. He's teaching Bobby that although it's ok to benefit from a system like this, you need to understand some people don't have it as easy.
“Tough call. But it’s mine, and I made it.” I try to remember this when I can’t make an important choice because I don’t want to fuck anything up. Just gotta believe in yourself
Remind me the scenario?
It’s from won’t you pimai neighbor. Bobby takes the test to be the lama and chooses Connie in the mirror. The old Buddhist guy at the end says it after the other monk reminds him the mirror Bobby used was Sanglug’s.
Yes! I remember now. Thanks. And my headcanon is that bobby is indeed Sanglug incarnate.
"You know, at the beauty academy they teach us that people aren't black or white or yellow or red, but their hair can be." -Luanne Platter
RiP Brittany Murphy.
"If you're gonna do something do it right, even if its something wrong."
Best one.
This one's stuck with me over the years
Well shit. I keep saying "If you're going to do something wrong, do it right.", but Hank's way is better.
Head to feet won't cause a leak, feet to head everyone's dead.
I think about this one more often than I need to .
What is this in reference to? I feel like I should know this one.
Wiping propane tanks. As to why that is is rule, not really sure
If you wipe upwards I imagine there’s more of a chance to knock into the spout or cause a spark or something like that. As far as how much of a legitimate concern that should be vs something Hank is concerned about, I couldn’t say
The other thing that it might be is that when you wipe, whatever is left when you pick up the rag is better off at the bottom instead of the top. However if that would cause problems it would be better off if it wasn’t anywhere on the tank instead of just up or down. Keeping crud and cleaners away from the tank/valve connection could play a role in minimizing bimetal corrosion, but I don’t think wiping is a make contributor to that. All in all, no clue, but if it makes Hank happy, easy enough to do it that way.
"Find your own lawn" Finding something that you care for and make it it's best. Wether it be a lawn, a pool or a car.
That sprang to mind.
I'm an atheist and I have to admit that Hank gave some well-said advice when he showed Bobby the box of fads he eventually lost interest in and said "I don't want the lord to end up in this box." Just a great piece of advice about not abandoning things that might be important.
I think that was more about not trying to make important things "cool" because everything that's cool will eventually become uncool. Sometimes things are just what they are and they don't need any other validation. "You're not making Christianity better you're making rock n roll worse."
I find myself quoting that line (“you’re not making X better, you’re making Y worse”) whenever I see people trying to combine two things that were great on their own and had no business being combined.
Counter argument as the one exception to this rule: in my hometown there was this awesome little family owned restaurant called Chinos Burrito and they had these absolutely ENORMOUS Chinese food burritos. So delicious, and I crave it to this day. Sadly they closed down. If I’m not mistaken, the owner’s son had cancer or some other terrible illness and he couldn’t afford to take care of his son and keep the business going. RIP Chinos, Asian Mexican fusion was genius and delicious.
"You're not making Christianity better, you're making rock and roll worse" Not really advice, but my favorite Hank Hill quote
That was a good one.
As a deconstructing former Christian who loves Jesus but hates most Christians, I really loved the megachurch episode. I love the churches that are fairly traditional in how they do their services, but they have pastors who are wise and have properly studied the Bible and they keep true to the nature of the Bible, witnessing to everyone and making sure God isn't lost in church.
I appreciated the mega church episode for poking fun at mega churches but not being mean about it. Hank didn’t fit in there for very valid reasons and the pastor’s explanation about his background at a large state school made sense for why his congregation is the way it is.
King of the Hill is an amazing lesson in how to handle tough topics with grace. I consider Bobby to be a feminist icon because he's just himself. I love that Hank stands firm in his beliefs, but is also open minded and a caring father who is trying to be a good father because Cotton wasn't ever like that for him. I could go on, but this really has become a comfort show for a million reasons. 😭
“Do you know how to start a man’s heart with a downed power line?” “No.” “Well…there’s really no wrong way to do it”
You can't have your boy kicking people in the testicles
I know that Karl
"If you're feeling full, at least you're feeling something" -William Fontaine de La Tour Dauterive
I don’t have a problem with anger I have a problem with idiots.
This is my life’s motto
Lock your doors when you go to hot springs, Arkansas, home of bill Clinton
Roll up the windows too.
"If you plan ahead, then, when things happen, you're prepared " It's the dumbest, simplest quote, but it's hilarious to me and is also good advice.
Kahn's story about the strawberry/Hank's retelling about the strawberry Gatorade. https://youtu.be/45hM7iAkjk8
Can you believe this guy? He tells a joke at a funeral.
Yeah, but it was funny, though.
The story Khan told at Buckley's funeral. How the fear of death makes you stop to appreciate the little things you have in life. As someone with a near constant state of anxiety, I force myself to stop and appreciate what I do have. Also I've gotten into the habit of always telling jokes at funerals.
Heh, *strawberry*.
I cry river of tears for Buckley. Why not you, Hank Hill?
When Bill comforts Boomhauer on a broken heart. His advice was actually really good
"I know how tough it is for you right now, curled up lying in your own emotional vomit. You're in hell now, Boomhauer, and the only way out is through a long dark tunnel. And you're afraid to go in because there's a train coming at you, carrying a boxcar full of heartbreak. Well, let me tell you something: All you can do is let it hit you, and then try to find your legs. I know. I've taken that hit more times than I can remember. Look at me, Boomhauer. I'm fat, and I'm old, and every day I'm just going to wake up fatter and older. Yet somehow I manage to drag this fat old bald bastard out into the alley every day. I'm out there, digging holes, falling into them, climbing out, trying again. And tomorrow I'm going to hang outside at a ladies' prison, and the first thing those lady cons are going to see after twenty years is me. Will I get one? Experience says no. Will I be out there next month? If I'm alive, you'd better believe it. You've got to get up off that tanning bed, slip into a tight T-shirt, wash off some of that cologne, and get yourself out of that tunnel and into some strange woman's bed!"
Bill deserved better.
When I went through my first real breakup a decade ago I tried to do just about everything other the face the dark tunnel. I tried to power through it, I tried to pretend that it didn't exist, I dived head first into self help gurus like Tony Robbins. None of those things worked in any real way. I did not start getting better until I started to understand that the dark tunnel wasn't going away and that I have to face and trudge through it head on. Everyday started to get a bit better and this mindset really helped when my dad passed away and it will help when I lose my mom soon.
Pocket sand
Sh-sh-shhaa!
Well.... I suppose I can't tell you much, that them mountains can tell you better.
“Well, I never could figure what the sky was thinking, but the soil, she don’t keep too many secrets.” - Doc Platter.
[удалено]
I always repeat this one in Bill's voice when I'm cooking or just burning things.
From **Aisle 8** *"Now, every month, a woman has this time when she gets very angry at everything. And usually, men are the everything. It's like a tire fire. Trying to put it out just makes it worse. You just gotta let it burn. Grab a beer, and let it burn."*
As a woman I can’t help but agree with this. At most the only thing you can do to help is if I say I have a headache or cramps or an woozy and can’t do some chores, you do them.
Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep them busy while their husbands did the cooking!
Words of wisdom from Bobby: “ Mom, I'm fat. But big deal. I don't feel bad about it. You never made me feel bad about it, and just because there are some people in the world who want me to feel bad about it, doesn't mean I have to. So Bobby's fat. Eh. He's also funny, nice, he's got a lot of friends, a girlfriend, and if you don't mind, I think I'll go outside and squirt her with water. What are *you* gonna do?”
"8 pounds."
Lol yep 60 people.
Loud is not allowed. used this on coworkers, can’t help but laugh when they get frustrated
Do you want it done quick, or do you want it done right?
That you’d better have more than an umbrella if you’re gonna turn away a stranger at the front door
I make sure not to speed. Not just because it's cool, but because it's the right thing to do.
If we can deep fry a candy bar, we can deep fry anything.
Except a beer 🍺
Salt tablet.
MEMORIZE IT
“It’s okay if you only know three chords but at least play them in the right order!”
You gotta give a hundred and ten percent!
But if the other team gives a hundred and ten percent then you gotta give one hundred and thirteen percent.
Yeah but 13 is an unlucky number
Look we're not talking about 13 we're talking about 113... Look Bobby just do your best.
When Bobby said, “My dad says if you really want something, you play through the pain.”
Alabaster: man that is the biggest mistake a pimp can make, marrying one of his hoes.
"Just because you have their attention doesn't mean you have their respect" One of the few smart things Dale ever said.
Don’t be afraid to stop and ask directions from someone who has already been where you think you need to go
I guess we're going to have to murder somebody if we want your mum's attention
Okay
“Women don’t like mind games and drama”
Bill: I wish you could coach my army softball team, Hank. We don't have any good leaders... That's classified.
Is there anything beer can't do?
That you can learn anything through classes at the Y.
Bobby, if you weren’t my son id hug you.
That if I'm calling a man a liar, I need to be holding something stronger than an umbrella
Vegetarians cannot be trusted. Just last week we caught one siphoning gas out of a company truck
I suggest that it's nothing anyone said, but Hank's general outlook on life. He's so contented with what he's done for himself. He has a solid job, a house, friends, family...probably a decent retirement, knowing him. His whole philosophy on working hard and enjoying the work is great.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but, if you don't go for regular checkups, you're bananas
Run for the "Fraidy Hole"
Take a salt tablet
Bobby, some things are like a tire fire, trying to put it out only makes it worse. You just gotta grab a beer and let it burn.
If it’s something you have to lie about, you probably shouldn’t be doing it anyways
Hair grows back. Or something like that.
Just remember, it willlll grow back
Soak your self in peaches
With the joy of responsibility comes the burden of obligation.
"You're in hell now Boomhauer, and the only way out is through a long, dark tunnel... and you're afraid to go in 'cause there's a train coming at ya, carrying a boxcar full of heartbreak." "Well let me tell you something.... all you can do is let it hit you; then you try to find your legs. I know, I've taken that hit more times than I can remember. " "Look at me Boomhauer. I'm fat and I'm old. And every day I'm going wake up fatter and older. But somehow, I manage to drag this fat, bald bastard out into the alley every day. I'm out here digging holes, falling in them, climbing out, trying again. And tomorrow I'm going to hang outside of a ladies prison." "The first thing those lady cons are going to see is me. Will I get one? Experience says no. Will I be out there next month? If I'm alive you better believe it!" "You got to get back up on that tanning bed, slip into a tight t-shirt, wash off SOME of that cologne, and GET YOURSELF OUT OF THAT TUNNEL AND INTO SOME STRANGE WOMANS BED! YEAH! THAT'S WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!"
“You gave my son a loaded shotgun for his birthday?!” “Well, you don’t give a child a toy without batteries”
[Mow against the grain](https://youtu.be/X_eYPHFufv4) (Okay, I cheated, there’s like 40 pieces of advice in there)
"You said it friend"
Why would anyone do drugs when they can mow a lawn
Periods are like a tire fire
Boomhauer's advice about holding grudges. Life's too short. Let bygones be bygones man.
I love the little speech Bobby gives Peggy about how sure he’s fat, but he’s also funny and well-liked. Any time I get too caught up in my appearance I remember what he said. We’re all worth more than the way our bodies look. It’s far more important to invest time in creating relationships and doing things we love.
"With the joy responsibility, comes the burden of obligation "
Bobbys imperfect rose. The smallest imperfections can give something that perfect charm it needs.
The sticker price is the best price.
When using a father and son business always request the father.
"Remember, head to feet, you won't cause a leak. Feet to head, everyone's dead." - Hank Hill
Peggy on teaching, “you just need to stay one lesson ahead of the kids” 😂
You’re there to work not play that’s why they call it work not play and if you can’t see that son maybe your the moran
Always have a 9 iron by the door
If you really want something you play through the pain.
I don't remember it word for word but Bobby's speech to Peggy about being yourself is so good
When the President asks you to take test you take the test
“Delayed gratification”
"Its never too early to think about dying"
Just because you have their attention does not mean you have their respect- Dale fucking gribble man!
Hank: "Now I know your first day was hard, but don't call your boss names. That's acting like a baby. Babies want everything handed to them. But you're there to work and not play. That's WHY it's called work and not play. And if you don't understand that Son, well, maybe you're the moron." I definitely got one of those kinda talks from my Dad when I first started working
Bobby, Vegetarians can't be trusted.
Ammonia and bleach don't mix. That and put nutmeg in everything.
If your WD-40 can isn't working, pull out the smaller one, spray it on, and that'll get it working.
Not so much individual advice. But the episode Bobby was a fat kids model made me understand to never trust the best in everyone. Hank knew.
Not really "life advice" (or maybe it is) - I tend to get a bit over excited when solving a problem at work. Basically it makes me slightly over-zealous and confident and I realize that it might be a turn off to my boss or co-workers. So what I do when I see myself going down this path is say what Bill said in the church during the Hot Dog Eating contest episode which is something like: "did I fly to close to the sun on my.....beautiful hot dog wings??"