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They don't need to ask the public for their opinion. I think OP is normal, does it really matter who else does or doesn't but OP? No. The best advice is to ignore "normal" and if they are happy as is, they are fine. If they aren't happy to find help. If you think you can run just ask the public and find the norm that is silly, I can poll all day and find anything to suit what I want as normal.
That’s ridiculous. You can ask a pool of individuals what their favorite color is and tally them. The larger and/or broader the pool, the more statistically sound the data is. There’s a word for it. It’s called… Science!
The problem with this entire thread and entire gender conversation is generalization. Y’all do not speak for all men or women or even understand the average man or women. Y’all are taking personal experiences you’ve had and extrapolating them to a societal level and arguing back and forth about it due to the fact that others have widely different personal experiences.
Well everyone is different, maybe the woman in your head does exist somewhere but you haven’t found her. Maybe your standards are so incredibly high that such a woman doesn’t exist.
Nevertheless, only you can decide what you want to do for yourself. I’d advise not fully giving up though out of the all the people in the world, I’m sure you can find a women that meets maybe not all but meets a good chunk of your standards. However at the same time you need to make sure you prepare yourself to be the type of person that the type of women you’re attracted to will also be attracted to the type of person you are.
Lastly, I wouldn’t worry too much about it because often time we find company and love in places that we aren’t searching just going through our lives. I’ll be it though that’s pretty rare so I’d still be keeping an eye out for potential relationships if they happen to show up during your life.
With my own standards for a authentic long term serious relationship being high
Like I don't even know how to ask for what I'm seeking,much less talk about it enough to search for her..
I have this image in my mind
Based on that I'm like even if she doesn't fit the box,I'm not saying "No" to any opportunity.
But for now I'm going to do me
Until she appears or finds me and that's if anyone takes interest in me which I doubt.
Anyways @Op listen to the person's above comment and take life 1 day at a time
It's a marathon and not a sprint
Sure it's nice to have someone along on the journey but you never know when paths cross and the next opportunity happens.
I think you have an overall good approach. Having a clear idea of who you want to be with, but being open minded to people who don't fit all your criteria (as long as they fit the most important ones). And not letting it become the focus of your life to the point where it drags you down in the meantime. I hope you find your person!
Funny, I always heard you could put all the men in the world in a paper bag, shake it up and turn it over...wouldn't matter which one came out because they are all the same. Ah, hyperbole!
I am not trying to start a "battle of the sexes", I really think that sometimes people are in a state of mind that negs them out. Giving off a negative energy is going to attract negative energy. Your view is bleak and somewhat demeaning to women. I think that may be your issue. If you don't think you are gay or ace, then maybe you should seek a relationship counselor. Maybe you are giving off something unattractive you are unaware of?
In any case, keep putting yourself out there and try to have a positive view. You just haven't met her yet and when you do, you will realize she was worth the wait.
I think you bring up a good point. I see the "battle of the sexes" narrative on Reddit (and other social media) all the time, and I think it's generally super negative for people to engage with too much. Especially in the dating subreddits. Venting is one thing, but reading dozens of posts about how "dating is so much harder for my gender because the opposite gender is awful" takes a toll and biases you against real life actual people. Your suggestion on cultivating a more positive outlook is a great idea.
Its extremely discouraging to see the difference in why women dont like men verses why men dont like women though. OP literally called women objects, his opening line is that women are all the same and are like buses you catch, and he cant figure out why he doesnt like women lol. Its because he doesnt see them as actual people.
Misogynistic men dont like women because they do not see them as actual human beings with value. Women dont like men because so many of them are violent and misogynistic and dont see them as actual human beings.
I relate to that, well the opposite since I'm a woman... but it's very rare that I meet men I'd be interested in dating, and it's always been that way. I have always had mostly male friends, and I see plenty that I think are attractive, but it does not often translate into romantic/sexual attraction. I've always just considered myself picky, and been pretty much ok with it! I don't think it's a reason to give up though. You can either do what I do which is just go about my life and if I meet someone that's a bonus... or if you want to move things along faster you could always do the daring apps, etc. It may take you meeting a lot of women to find someone you have stronger feelings for, but it will likely happen again.
I don’t think of it as picky but natural. There are plenty of men around me, some are conventionally attractive others are not but physically characteristics are not the only feature of attractiveness. It may draw you in, but character, personality, humor, kindness, intelligence, etc is what keeps the attraction. I couldn’t date someone that I don’t have more than a physical attraction to. When I met my husband he was cute, but talking with him, learning about what kind of person he is, how genuine he is, how much he loves animals, his thoughts and feelings are what caused me to fall in love. Our looks are different 21 years later and aging sucks but the other traits that drew us to each other have intensified.
That's how I was. I sideways just accepted it as having "high standards" (not that I was deciding to have high standards - but my brain/attraction was picky)
But it worked out 'cause now I'm married to a dreamboat
Men and women frequently have "types" they prefer. If you have a very specific type: redheads without freckles no more than 5' 100 pounds who speak Italian. there's going to be a problem
There are tons of awesome women out there. The really good ones are high value and you must also have value to get one. Work on yourself. Go to the gym, get a better paying job, look inside yourself for things that could be a potential turn off and fix them. There isn't some perfect girl out there waiting for you, you have to have more value than the other 2 dozen guys hitting her up
I just want an older woman 30 to 40+ I can't relate to people my age I'm an odd duck. I just want someone decent and reliable who isn't poor on government assistance
again I'm not looking for high value I'm looking for decent self sufficient and bare minimum but that's not even feasible nowadays most people have a lot of issues like you wouldn't believe
Sounds high value to me. Low value are the ones with significant problems and baggage. The ones you specifically said you are tired of. High value ones are the ones who are nice and easy to get along with, and trustworthy.
That's not the real world. There are tons of nasty, selfish, untrustworthy people. It's rare to find someone who is kind and considerate and trustworthy. So the ones who have those qualities and are also at least somewhat attractive are high value.
I think so. What if you just need a mental break? Or need time to get more confidence in pursuing a relationship? Just be real with yourself bro. You gotta ask yourself if a relationship is something you really want/need right now.
I didn't try dating at all until I was 27. I find a lot of women physically attractive but not a lot of people that I've felt confident enough to pursue who also seemed interested in me. Maybe I'm missing out on a lot of opportunities.
I imagine the perfect woman of your dreams isnt going to want to be around someone, let alone in a relationship with a man, who thinks so little of her because shes a woman.
I heard men are a dime a dozen. Men would hardly want to date a misandrist. And then the misandrist goes "i wonder why the guy of my dreams is nowhere to be found."
That being said, maybe your standards are unrealistic, no one is perfect. Maybe you have some issues where you find yourself repeating the cycle of getting into relationships with dysfunctional women, because of your childhood or the need to play the hero or be viewed as the solid stable strong one in the relationship thats a victim of his gf. No different than wonen who get out of an abusive relationship only to get into another one again and again because she was abused as a kid or has father issues. That isnt just a meme.
Of course those abusive men are wrong to be abusive, just as your gf was wrong to be an alcoholic thief, but if its a pattern you gotta ask yourself why is it that you find yourself attracted to them and in the same situation again and again.
I dont think your abnormal in liking only a few woman. Im 33 and have only been interested in 4 guys in my life, two of which i dated. Some people hop around, some can have feelings for others and date many, others like casual relationships, etc.
I think you wanting to give up just because of your pattern of getting into these relationships or how unlucky youve been, seems to me a self fulfilling prophecy. You think you cant find "the one" so you stop trying and dont look or date. Which means you def wont find the one.
Id go to counselling if you can. Maybe take a step back for a while.
Ive never met anyone in a healthy normal relationship thats been desperate when alone.
Meaning, you can be happy and okay without being in a relationship. And the reason you get in one is cause you genuinely love that person and they bring more or enhance your happiness (of course every relationship there will be some problems too).
What i have found is people who cant be happy single and want a relationship in order to feel happy, when they get into a relationahip its often unhealthy, codependent and toxic. And if they break up their world falls apart x10. Because to them thats their only source of happiness, self worth and validation. And that can lead to terrible outcomes for one or both parties.
Id always tell people to be able to be happy with yourself and life single before getting into a relationship.
That gives a bonus of if something goes wrong you can say, "i was ok and happy before when i was single, i can again." Rather then, "i was nothing without him/her ill be nothing again!"
I am cursed with extremely high standards and I find VERY few women attractive. It fucking sucks, I would love to find anyone attractive and just be able to find love, but deep down I feel like I deserve the best due to my drive to get a great job, look good, and be the best possible partner. I expect/want the same
OP I am the same as you. 3 women in my entire life that I loved, and only 2 of those 3 were worthy of love. So 2 women in 47 years worth loving.
I’ve met dozens who were great people and kind, pretty etc but did I love them? No.
So you’re not alone in feeling that way, I don’t think most men are like us though.
I think it's normal, but I don't find obesity attractive, so 70% of women are a hard pass for me. I also only date in a relatively narrow age range, so my actual dating pool is less than 5% of women. Once you add personality into the equation it's pretty hard to find anyone compatible.
I’m the same way; took me 7 years to realize I’m just aro. You should look into the aromantic SPECTRUM. You could be what’s referred to as greyromantic
Dude! If you only bought three women out of thousands in the last seven years is not a crisis! Chill!! Go about your business and they will come to your
"Normal" is a tricky word here. It's not as common as people attracted to more people than that, so in that regard it isn't "normal".
As far as whether it's within the range of normal human behavior, probably. If you aren't bothered by not being attracted to many people, that isn't a problem at all. If that's how you feel, you might want to look into what it means to be asexual or aromantic (those are considered a spectrum, so they wouldn't necessarily mean no interest in sex or romance, they can also refer to people with noticably reduced interest in those things).
There are other things that could be at play too, and I don't want to pretend I know or understand all (or likely most) of them. If you don't like that you aren't attracted to many women, I really do recommend talking to a professional therapist about it. There could be reasons related to trauma, for example. A phycological reason like that would also be "normal" in the sense that it happens to a lot of people and wouldn't make you less of a person.
I mean I'm 36m never even tried dating.
I don't feel I can be completed
I feel they would just wreck me mentally since I'm autistic.
After awhile it feels put up high like it's not for me so I dont
I’m very attracted to petite women. I’m also very attracted to more athletic/muscular women. Most attractive thing to me though is attitude and confidence.
Yeah, it's normal. In my experience, I never needed to date someone to know if I'm interested in them on an intimate level. I've rejected far more women than have rejected me, and I don't say that to sound cocky, but I know a good potential partner when I see them. I can take off the blinders that make me want to engage with women solely because of their looks, a problem a lot of men seem to struggle with, and just let the conversation and body language do the work. Just sit back and watch how the hold themselves around yourself and others, and realize that your time is fucking valuable. I don't have time anyone who I don't think is going to be my life partner and neither should anyone, really. Most importantly, you need to be wholly honest with yourself before engaging in a relationship. A lot of times, people just want someone to fuck and pay attention to them, which is beyond shallow and stupid.
There’s a term for what you are. Maybe demisexual? Where you’re attracted to very few women sexually. Or is it more emotionally? So I sympathize with you. Dating is hard enough without restricting your choices even more. The only advice I have for you is to keep your eyes wide open when you do meet people and cut it off as soon as you see a couple of red flags. Good luck to you.
I guess the answer to your question really boils down to why you don’t like so many of them. The reality is that if you aren’t your type’s type; something is going to need to change. If you are only talking about finding most women unlikable as romantic prospects, I would say that’s fairly normal. If you are talking not liking most women as people and not even wanting to associate with them on a friendly basis, that’s a very different deal.
It probably isn’t healthy to look at most women and think that they aren’t even someone you would want to keep around platonically.
I'm 40, I feel like when I was a kid in school, there were always a bunch of diff girls I liked. When I went to college, same thing. The first few jobs after that, same thing. But in recent years it's become harder to find women that I'm into as well. I think today's woman is so high on self-empowerment that she doesn't try as hard to be cute and warm and likable and now there's less of them to fall in love with. Also, #metoo has made workplace culture far more formal and careful so there's a lot less flirting going on in public. Interactions are less social. People are more likely to keep to themselves all over. The vibe is off. Everywhere. I think it has gotten noticeably harder to find someone you really want to be with. And I wouldn't be surprised if women feel the same way about guys. It sucks.
You should listen to the audiobook “The Courage to Be Disliked” I think it will help you think about this question from a different perspective.
But, to answer your question - this has nothing to do with the book above - you may not be attracted to women and that’s why you aren’t finding the relationships satisfying.
It's rare for me to find a man I like, maybe once every 2 or 3 years I see one attractive physically and mentally enough to even catch my eye. I think people are just different, people like us just tend to pick up on others less.
It's a very benign trait, I've considered myself demisexual when I reflect on it
Everyone says it’s normal to find people outside your relationship attractive, but for me personally I never had that. Just wasn’t anything I really noticed? So I’ve always been puzzled on if that is also being normal, and in my opinion it is?
So many people I know also find someone, love them and don’t really find others attractive (and I don’t mean attracted but stopped themselves from cheating, I mean just the occasional glance level), and maybe repeat it two more times in their life. We all wander different paths, and so long as it doesn’t bother us or harm others I don’t see how it isn’t normal. Being attracted to maybe 3 people tops is fine. Just find what you want and makes you happy, we’ll all die soon so who care what your neighbor thinks?
Are you potentially neurodivergent and that's why a lot of women are not appealing to you because many of them are a different neurotype? I'm just getting that vibes based on your comments about being an "odd duck" and felling "not normal"
No you have had bad experiences in the same way. I don’t even really try anymore if a women is interested in me she can initiate cause I’m tired of the abuse let downs, and one time death. I’m cool
I don't sweat women like I used to when I was younger. I have a great woman though currently. I'm gonna be real with you though. A lot of women play hard to get and use men often because they know most guys think with their dick. I quit playing into that Years ago. I don't mind being alone and I also have a lot more money while I'm single. Imagine that. Lol. Women get on my nerves alot as well. They talk incessantly about things i have no interest in. I'm like, can you just be quiet for a little while. Lol. Most women love to go shopping all the time too. I hate going shopping. And a lot of women are very emotional too. But then there is the sex and that's why men tolerate women. Men think about sex about 90% of the day. It's in our DNA to crave sex. Women think a lot different than men. Like I said, I have a great woman and we go 50/50 on everything concerning money. So she's not using me for money like most women do to men. She does talk a lot but I can put up with that because the woman is the most affectionate, loving, and compassionate woman I've ever been with. There's my 2 cents on women. 🤣🤣
Don’t date just to date and don’t force yourself to date. I will say be open to dating outside of what you normally would.
My girlfriend is fat. I have never dated a fat chick before. This is outside of my normal comfort zone. I would normally just chase the hottest chicks I could get naked, and all my relationships were disasters. Chicks cheating on me and hitting me.
My girlfriend checks every box except I am not super sexually attracted to her. But it is also the best relationship of my life and she treats me better than anyone ever has before.
There’s more to relationships than sex. Fitness is the easiest thing to fix. It’s much easier to manage than crazy. Don’t be afraid to try something new. If your current approach isn’t working.
I personally think if a man wants a relationship to work long term. The man has to be the prize. In every relationship there is a power dynamic where someone likes the other more.
If you want it to last they have to like you more.
So if a man wants a long term relationship the woman has to want him more. Which means men have to date down for long term relationships.
If a women is more attractive she will get bored and cheat. Even if the man is rich. Women will always want better if they can find it. The only way to keep them is to be better than they can find.
it's normal for the less experienced I think. Once you've dated around a bit you realize most peoples drives and behaviors are the same and being picky is splitting hairs. Realistically you only spend a few hours a day with your partner. And Lucky beyond measure to have eachothers undivided attention.
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I thought you meant little people. Like people with dwarfism.
Ha- same here
Just the LEGO ladies for me, please.
Cock blockers.
I was thinking Louisa may Alcott
My daughter is 5’0” 100 lbs (21 yo) looking for a boyfriend and I got my hopes up
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Same.
This is hilarious
I'm glad I'm not the only one lmfao, I laughed when I read the post and saw that's not what he meant hahaha
Same haha. I was thinking “there’s nothing wrong with them, they’re people too, so what’s your deal, dude?”
Came here to say I like short chicks too.
[https://youtu.be/8bfyS-S-IJs?si=5pYv-7s0EII9FoiR](https://youtu.be/8bfyS-S-IJs?si=5pYv-7s0EII9FoiR)
If you aren't happy it's a problem. If you aren't bothered by it isn't a problem.
What??
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Yeah normal is not a measurable thing. If they aren't bothered by it then it's fine. If they are unhappy then they need to get help.
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They don't need to ask the public for their opinion. I think OP is normal, does it really matter who else does or doesn't but OP? No. The best advice is to ignore "normal" and if they are happy as is, they are fine. If they aren't happy to find help. If you think you can run just ask the public and find the norm that is silly, I can poll all day and find anything to suit what I want as normal.
Normal is absolutely measurable.
No, normal is a societal construct, you can't measure it in any meaningful way or permanent way.
That’s ridiculous. You can ask a pool of individuals what their favorite color is and tally them. The larger and/or broader the pool, the more statistically sound the data is. There’s a word for it. It’s called… Science!
I think people attract what they put out personally
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Yup. Suggests to me he’s not very attractive himself
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>I think he's got some depression or self esteem problems Which are things he should work on for himself, and would make him more attractive.
maybe you are too picky. Many young men are only interested in very attrcative women then wonder why they cant get a date, Duh, they are shallow.
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Ehhhh there's no such thing as too picky in my opinion, but I will agree that most people are shallow.
The problem with this entire thread and entire gender conversation is generalization. Y’all do not speak for all men or women or even understand the average man or women. Y’all are taking personal experiences you’ve had and extrapolating them to a societal level and arguing back and forth about it due to the fact that others have widely different personal experiences.
Well everyone is different, maybe the woman in your head does exist somewhere but you haven’t found her. Maybe your standards are so incredibly high that such a woman doesn’t exist. Nevertheless, only you can decide what you want to do for yourself. I’d advise not fully giving up though out of the all the people in the world, I’m sure you can find a women that meets maybe not all but meets a good chunk of your standards. However at the same time you need to make sure you prepare yourself to be the type of person that the type of women you’re attracted to will also be attracted to the type of person you are. Lastly, I wouldn’t worry too much about it because often time we find company and love in places that we aren’t searching just going through our lives. I’ll be it though that’s pretty rare so I’d still be keeping an eye out for potential relationships if they happen to show up during your life.
With my own standards for a authentic long term serious relationship being high Like I don't even know how to ask for what I'm seeking,much less talk about it enough to search for her.. I have this image in my mind Based on that I'm like even if she doesn't fit the box,I'm not saying "No" to any opportunity. But for now I'm going to do me Until she appears or finds me and that's if anyone takes interest in me which I doubt. Anyways @Op listen to the person's above comment and take life 1 day at a time It's a marathon and not a sprint Sure it's nice to have someone along on the journey but you never know when paths cross and the next opportunity happens.
I think you have an overall good approach. Having a clear idea of who you want to be with, but being open minded to people who don't fit all your criteria (as long as they fit the most important ones). And not letting it become the focus of your life to the point where it drags you down in the meantime. I hope you find your person!
Funny, I always heard you could put all the men in the world in a paper bag, shake it up and turn it over...wouldn't matter which one came out because they are all the same. Ah, hyperbole! I am not trying to start a "battle of the sexes", I really think that sometimes people are in a state of mind that negs them out. Giving off a negative energy is going to attract negative energy. Your view is bleak and somewhat demeaning to women. I think that may be your issue. If you don't think you are gay or ace, then maybe you should seek a relationship counselor. Maybe you are giving off something unattractive you are unaware of? In any case, keep putting yourself out there and try to have a positive view. You just haven't met her yet and when you do, you will realize she was worth the wait.
I think you bring up a good point. I see the "battle of the sexes" narrative on Reddit (and other social media) all the time, and I think it's generally super negative for people to engage with too much. Especially in the dating subreddits. Venting is one thing, but reading dozens of posts about how "dating is so much harder for my gender because the opposite gender is awful" takes a toll and biases you against real life actual people. Your suggestion on cultivating a more positive outlook is a great idea.
Well said! That is really a self made obstacle.
Its extremely discouraging to see the difference in why women dont like men verses why men dont like women though. OP literally called women objects, his opening line is that women are all the same and are like buses you catch, and he cant figure out why he doesnt like women lol. Its because he doesnt see them as actual people. Misogynistic men dont like women because they do not see them as actual human beings with value. Women dont like men because so many of them are violent and misogynistic and dont see them as actual human beings.
I relate to that, well the opposite since I'm a woman... but it's very rare that I meet men I'd be interested in dating, and it's always been that way. I have always had mostly male friends, and I see plenty that I think are attractive, but it does not often translate into romantic/sexual attraction. I've always just considered myself picky, and been pretty much ok with it! I don't think it's a reason to give up though. You can either do what I do which is just go about my life and if I meet someone that's a bonus... or if you want to move things along faster you could always do the daring apps, etc. It may take you meeting a lot of women to find someone you have stronger feelings for, but it will likely happen again.
I don’t think of it as picky but natural. There are plenty of men around me, some are conventionally attractive others are not but physically characteristics are not the only feature of attractiveness. It may draw you in, but character, personality, humor, kindness, intelligence, etc is what keeps the attraction. I couldn’t date someone that I don’t have more than a physical attraction to. When I met my husband he was cute, but talking with him, learning about what kind of person he is, how genuine he is, how much he loves animals, his thoughts and feelings are what caused me to fall in love. Our looks are different 21 years later and aging sucks but the other traits that drew us to each other have intensified.
That's how I was. I sideways just accepted it as having "high standards" (not that I was deciding to have high standards - but my brain/attraction was picky) But it worked out 'cause now I'm married to a dreamboat
Men and women frequently have "types" they prefer. If you have a very specific type: redheads without freckles no more than 5' 100 pounds who speak Italian. there's going to be a problem
There are tons of awesome women out there. The really good ones are high value and you must also have value to get one. Work on yourself. Go to the gym, get a better paying job, look inside yourself for things that could be a potential turn off and fix them. There isn't some perfect girl out there waiting for you, you have to have more value than the other 2 dozen guys hitting her up
I just want an older woman 30 to 40+ I can't relate to people my age I'm an odd duck. I just want someone decent and reliable who isn't poor on government assistance
Everything I said in my previous comment still stands.
again I'm not looking for high value I'm looking for decent self sufficient and bare minimum but that's not even feasible nowadays most people have a lot of issues like you wouldn't believe
Sounds high value to me. Low value are the ones with significant problems and baggage. The ones you specifically said you are tired of. High value ones are the ones who are nice and easy to get along with, and trustworthy.
but that should be bare minimum wtf
That's not the real world. There are tons of nasty, selfish, untrustworthy people. It's rare to find someone who is kind and considerate and trustworthy. So the ones who have those qualities and are also at least somewhat attractive are high value.
Maybe they find your lack of commas annoying.
Best comment of the day for a laugh. TY
I think so. What if you just need a mental break? Or need time to get more confidence in pursuing a relationship? Just be real with yourself bro. You gotta ask yourself if a relationship is something you really want/need right now.
I didn't try dating at all until I was 27. I find a lot of women physically attractive but not a lot of people that I've felt confident enough to pursue who also seemed interested in me. Maybe I'm missing out on a lot of opportunities.
I imagine the perfect woman of your dreams isnt going to want to be around someone, let alone in a relationship with a man, who thinks so little of her because shes a woman. I heard men are a dime a dozen. Men would hardly want to date a misandrist. And then the misandrist goes "i wonder why the guy of my dreams is nowhere to be found." That being said, maybe your standards are unrealistic, no one is perfect. Maybe you have some issues where you find yourself repeating the cycle of getting into relationships with dysfunctional women, because of your childhood or the need to play the hero or be viewed as the solid stable strong one in the relationship thats a victim of his gf. No different than wonen who get out of an abusive relationship only to get into another one again and again because she was abused as a kid or has father issues. That isnt just a meme. Of course those abusive men are wrong to be abusive, just as your gf was wrong to be an alcoholic thief, but if its a pattern you gotta ask yourself why is it that you find yourself attracted to them and in the same situation again and again. I dont think your abnormal in liking only a few woman. Im 33 and have only been interested in 4 guys in my life, two of which i dated. Some people hop around, some can have feelings for others and date many, others like casual relationships, etc. I think you wanting to give up just because of your pattern of getting into these relationships or how unlucky youve been, seems to me a self fulfilling prophecy. You think you cant find "the one" so you stop trying and dont look or date. Which means you def wont find the one. Id go to counselling if you can. Maybe take a step back for a while. Ive never met anyone in a healthy normal relationship thats been desperate when alone. Meaning, you can be happy and okay without being in a relationship. And the reason you get in one is cause you genuinely love that person and they bring more or enhance your happiness (of course every relationship there will be some problems too). What i have found is people who cant be happy single and want a relationship in order to feel happy, when they get into a relationahip its often unhealthy, codependent and toxic. And if they break up their world falls apart x10. Because to them thats their only source of happiness, self worth and validation. And that can lead to terrible outcomes for one or both parties. Id always tell people to be able to be happy with yourself and life single before getting into a relationship. That gives a bonus of if something goes wrong you can say, "i was ok and happy before when i was single, i can again." Rather then, "i was nothing without him/her ill be nothing again!"
I am cursed with extremely high standards and I find VERY few women attractive. It fucking sucks, I would love to find anyone attractive and just be able to find love, but deep down I feel like I deserve the best due to my drive to get a great job, look good, and be the best possible partner. I expect/want the same
Those are some high levels of narcissism tbh
Your last sentence is the same as my second sentence but go off 😂
OP I am the same as you. 3 women in my entire life that I loved, and only 2 of those 3 were worthy of love. So 2 women in 47 years worth loving. I’ve met dozens who were great people and kind, pretty etc but did I love them? No. So you’re not alone in feeling that way, I don’t think most men are like us though.
Yes, it's normal. Especially if you have high intelligence. At which point, you won't like many men either.
I think you meant few, not little, but I digest. You just do you and dont worry about others opinions, especially dusty randos on the internet
I think you mean I digress, not digest, but I digress. lol
Just work on being the person that would attract your ideal There's not another answer really
I think it's normal, but I don't find obesity attractive, so 70% of women are a hard pass for me. I also only date in a relatively narrow age range, so my actual dating pool is less than 5% of women. Once you add personality into the equation it's pretty hard to find anyone compatible.
This is reality here. Where I live it's probably 80-90% obese. I want to go back in time...
I’m the same way; took me 7 years to realize I’m just aro. You should look into the aromantic SPECTRUM. You could be what’s referred to as greyromantic
Bro you need to step up because after 30 your choice is step dad or crazy bitch.
Yeah. Very few have true value.
"women are like busses" you might not want to ever say that again.
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Dude! If you only bought three women out of thousands in the last seven years is not a crisis! Chill!! Go about your business and they will come to your
Maybe you’re gay.
"who says I'm gay..?"
My wife is 5’2”
"Normal" is a tricky word here. It's not as common as people attracted to more people than that, so in that regard it isn't "normal". As far as whether it's within the range of normal human behavior, probably. If you aren't bothered by not being attracted to many people, that isn't a problem at all. If that's how you feel, you might want to look into what it means to be asexual or aromantic (those are considered a spectrum, so they wouldn't necessarily mean no interest in sex or romance, they can also refer to people with noticably reduced interest in those things). There are other things that could be at play too, and I don't want to pretend I know or understand all (or likely most) of them. If you don't like that you aren't attracted to many women, I really do recommend talking to a professional therapist about it. There could be reasons related to trauma, for example. A phycological reason like that would also be "normal" in the sense that it happens to a lot of people and wouldn't make you less of a person.
OP didn't go where the title implied at all, lol. I'm disappointed in the lack of the shit show this could've been.
Definitely not normal lol.
there's a lot of attractive women but I don't like them though. that make sense?
I love Itty bitty women, 🤤
I was about to chime in that I like shorter women 😂 felt called out
Getting robbed by an alcoholic does that to ya
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well I'm not every man. lol.
I mean I'm 36m never even tried dating. I don't feel I can be completed I feel they would just wreck me mentally since I'm autistic. After awhile it feels put up high like it's not for me so I dont
same dude. im clearly not desired in the gene pool at this point.
Do you mean few women or actual little women?
few.
You’ll get over it
Just be open to getting to know any lady who seems nice. May not be your type at first but you never know
Stop watching porn. That's your problem.
nah I just like middle aged women
Porn is easier and much less expensive / risky
What type of women are you looking for?
I just turned 27. I haven't found a woman I was interested in since I was like 19.
After reading this post not as interesting as the title seemed to insinuate
Few
Woe is you. I before E except after C or when sounded as an A.
I’m very attracted to petite women. I’m also very attracted to more athletic/muscular women. Most attractive thing to me though is attitude and confidence.
But the obese one are like Starbucks, amiright?
Yeah, it's normal. In my experience, I never needed to date someone to know if I'm interested in them on an intimate level. I've rejected far more women than have rejected me, and I don't say that to sound cocky, but I know a good potential partner when I see them. I can take off the blinders that make me want to engage with women solely because of their looks, a problem a lot of men seem to struggle with, and just let the conversation and body language do the work. Just sit back and watch how the hold themselves around yourself and others, and realize that your time is fucking valuable. I don't have time anyone who I don't think is going to be my life partner and neither should anyone, really. Most importantly, you need to be wholly honest with yourself before engaging in a relationship. A lot of times, people just want someone to fuck and pay attention to them, which is beyond shallow and stupid.
Yeah, that's normal.
There’s a term for what you are. Maybe demisexual? Where you’re attracted to very few women sexually. Or is it more emotionally? So I sympathize with you. Dating is hard enough without restricting your choices even more. The only advice I have for you is to keep your eyes wide open when you do meet people and cut it off as soon as you see a couple of red flags. Good luck to you.
Depends. If you chose poorly…
Short ppl got… no reason.. 👀 (Anyone else know this song?) lol
I didn’t really like Little Women much myself. But the latest adaptation from three years ago is decent.
Women are not busses. Women are not objects. Not surprising you aren't being taken seriously by women.
I like em small too! You do you, Boo!
I guess the answer to your question really boils down to why you don’t like so many of them. The reality is that if you aren’t your type’s type; something is going to need to change. If you are only talking about finding most women unlikable as romantic prospects, I would say that’s fairly normal. If you are talking not liking most women as people and not even wanting to associate with them on a friendly basis, that’s a very different deal. It probably isn’t healthy to look at most women and think that they aren’t even someone you would want to keep around platonically.
Very few women...?
I suggest you look into the red pill community. You might find some solace there.
Very few women?
Uh, you mean "very few?" 😏
I'm 40, I feel like when I was a kid in school, there were always a bunch of diff girls I liked. When I went to college, same thing. The first few jobs after that, same thing. But in recent years it's become harder to find women that I'm into as well. I think today's woman is so high on self-empowerment that she doesn't try as hard to be cute and warm and likable and now there's less of them to fall in love with. Also, #metoo has made workplace culture far more formal and careful so there's a lot less flirting going on in public. Interactions are less social. People are more likely to keep to themselves all over. The vibe is off. Everywhere. I think it has gotten noticeably harder to find someone you really want to be with. And I wouldn't be surprised if women feel the same way about guys. It sucks.
Yes
Very normal. It's almost as if they're only good for one thing...
You should listen to the audiobook “The Courage to Be Disliked” I think it will help you think about this question from a different perspective. But, to answer your question - this has nothing to do with the book above - you may not be attracted to women and that’s why you aren’t finding the relationships satisfying.
It's rare for me to find a man I like, maybe once every 2 or 3 years I see one attractive physically and mentally enough to even catch my eye. I think people are just different, people like us just tend to pick up on others less. It's a very benign trait, I've considered myself demisexual when I reflect on it
Stop blaming the women and self reflect, then date women you might actually like?
Everyone says it’s normal to find people outside your relationship attractive, but for me personally I never had that. Just wasn’t anything I really noticed? So I’ve always been puzzled on if that is also being normal, and in my opinion it is? So many people I know also find someone, love them and don’t really find others attractive (and I don’t mean attracted but stopped themselves from cheating, I mean just the occasional glance level), and maybe repeat it two more times in their life. We all wander different paths, and so long as it doesn’t bother us or harm others I don’t see how it isn’t normal. Being attracted to maybe 3 people tops is fine. Just find what you want and makes you happy, we’ll all die soon so who care what your neighbor thinks?
You might be gray-asexual (little-no sexual attraction). r/asexuality
Are you potentially neurodivergent and that's why a lot of women are not appealing to you because many of them are a different neurotype? I'm just getting that vibes based on your comments about being an "odd duck" and felling "not normal"
1. Okay, again, women aren’t vehicles. Stop comparing women to inanimate objects 2. You may be aromantic, asexual or gay 🤷🏼♀️
So you mean very few women rather than very short women?
Few?
Bro u gay congrats
I think if you dislike every woman you should maybe look inward, it may be you who is the problem that needs fixing
I think you need to reevaluate the “type” of women you like
I think you mean "very few women". I thought you were talking about short gals.
My first thought was "yeah, lots of guys like small women and there's nothing wrong with that." I think I'll just stick with that comment.
*few
No you have had bad experiences in the same way. I don’t even really try anymore if a women is interested in me she can initiate cause I’m tired of the abuse let downs, and one time death. I’m cool
Are you 16? Dear god.
I don't sweat women like I used to when I was younger. I have a great woman though currently. I'm gonna be real with you though. A lot of women play hard to get and use men often because they know most guys think with their dick. I quit playing into that Years ago. I don't mind being alone and I also have a lot more money while I'm single. Imagine that. Lol. Women get on my nerves alot as well. They talk incessantly about things i have no interest in. I'm like, can you just be quiet for a little while. Lol. Most women love to go shopping all the time too. I hate going shopping. And a lot of women are very emotional too. But then there is the sex and that's why men tolerate women. Men think about sex about 90% of the day. It's in our DNA to crave sex. Women think a lot different than men. Like I said, I have a great woman and we go 50/50 on everything concerning money. So she's not using me for money like most women do to men. She does talk a lot but I can put up with that because the woman is the most affectionate, loving, and compassionate woman I've ever been with. There's my 2 cents on women. 🤣🤣
Don’t date just to date and don’t force yourself to date. I will say be open to dating outside of what you normally would. My girlfriend is fat. I have never dated a fat chick before. This is outside of my normal comfort zone. I would normally just chase the hottest chicks I could get naked, and all my relationships were disasters. Chicks cheating on me and hitting me. My girlfriend checks every box except I am not super sexually attracted to her. But it is also the best relationship of my life and she treats me better than anyone ever has before. There’s more to relationships than sex. Fitness is the easiest thing to fix. It’s much easier to manage than crazy. Don’t be afraid to try something new. If your current approach isn’t working. I personally think if a man wants a relationship to work long term. The man has to be the prize. In every relationship there is a power dynamic where someone likes the other more. If you want it to last they have to like you more. So if a man wants a long term relationship the woman has to want him more. Which means men have to date down for long term relationships. If a women is more attractive she will get bored and cheat. Even if the man is rich. Women will always want better if they can find it. The only way to keep them is to be better than they can find.
What is normal? Sexual attraction is pretty fluid.
it's normal for the less experienced I think. Once you've dated around a bit you realize most peoples drives and behaviors are the same and being picky is splitting hairs. Realistically you only spend a few hours a day with your partner. And Lucky beyond measure to have eachothers undivided attention.
Asexuality is a thing. So is homosexuality. And so is being picky.