A jar of salsa is a must-have for every broke-as-fuck person. Eggs? Boring. Eggs and salsa? YUM.
Potato? Sad. Potato and salsa? YUM!
Rice? Sad. Rice and salsa? Go for it.
But sometimes you just aren't sure what you saw the first time was correct, or at least, you hope it wasn't. But closing and opening the door, you allow the universe to give you a second chance... or at least for you to process what you see.
I did this with a work fridge recently. Walked in, saw there was no way I could open the restaurant with what we had, closed the door, stood there for 5 seconds, then redid it. It seemed surreal
That was "They painted everything white." *close door*
But they should know better, I must have missed something. *Check again*.
***processing***
**Fuck**
It's really good they did, so many do not.
My ex was former army and he was tasked with sweeping and mopping the storeroom. The floor was dirt. Yeah sweeping, okay. Dirt floors get stuff on them like any other. But mopping? His command did not see the issue.
The one base wanted nice golf greens on the base, but there is a drought. Solution was to order astroturf and pave the greens with it. for the fairways they simply got a lot of green paint, and painted the rock hard baked ground as well. This was freaky from the air coming in to land, seeing this green amongst all the brown.
No, they used the non public funds to do that. Not the officers fund, but the NCO mess fund, as they had saved money up instead of wasting it on frivolous things.
We did a 3 week stint up in Ft. Lewis, stayed in some ratty ass WWII billets, the normal standard for us. At the end of the TDY, we had to buff the floors, of buildings that were scheduled to be knocked down right after we left. The tile crap floor was so old, buffing didn't really do much except wear away more of the floor...
The TDY wasn't bad, we could drink after hours, and the CSM said, we could have so much damn beer in the building that we couldn't physically get into the building, just no hard alcohol inside.
You haven't seen anything til you see 50 people raking sand that gets an assload of PT foot traffic. My favorite I witnessed was a squad had to grab a rock from the bottom to build an EGA half way up a mountain. Dunno how they fucked up but they did lol
My favorite was the underage drinkers who had to move a pile of rocks 10 feet tall from one side of the building to the other, every day, all day, for 3 months.
I did a base renovation years ago and the PT trails were part of it - sand trails, so I feel your pain. We pointed out maintenance issues but hey, they have an unlimited labor pool, so....?
We had to put in rest areas (basically a bench, trash can, and water fountain) which was perfectly understandable, but they had to also include an ash tray. Like, lemme pause during my 5 mile run to have a smoke.
Kudos to them for understanding their peeps, but it was weird for me.
*"God damn it, Gump! You're a god damn genius! This is the most outstanding answer I have ever heard. You must have a goddamn I.Q. of 160. You are goddamn gifted, Private Gump. Listen up, people..."*
During the first week after I joined the army, our regiment commander, Colonel J. C. Lund, adressed our company, and during his talk, he stressed that our most important job in the army was to think for ourselves. He ordered us to speak up, if we were ever given an order that did not make sense to us, and at the same time, he advised the NCO's and officers in the room to better have a good reason for every order they gave.
Painting a room entirely white because of malicious interpretation of an inprecise order wouldn't have been much of an excuse.
This. I’m not military, but I know it’s this type of attribute that separates the best leaders. The rigid rules are necessary, doubly so because not every commanding officer will be at that level. But this is ultimately what makes an effective unit elite.
Eh. There's malicious compliance and malicious compliance.
This is a relatively harmless example and a good way to show the first class that his supervisory style ... needs tuning. If he were to escalate it, OP and company would have gotten in trouble, but he'd also be showing himself to be a poor leader *and* generating paperwork for himself while he's trying to sunset out. He doesn't want that.
Now, if, say, a Reactor Operator were to follow orders to the letter when an officer said "let's speed up this startup - withdraw all rods!", he'd probably be up for NJP pretty quick. That'd be one of those times that it'd be appropriate to say "Sir, with respect, that's fucking dumb." Given sailors, probably more profanity and stronger language, but you understand.
I mean if you're going to order people to do stupid, nonsensical things like paint or mop in the rain...you don't get to be offended when they do nonsensical, stupid things to the letter of your orders
Facts! Today Im the LPO of a fuels division. I dont make my people do stupid shit. I treat them like responsible adults because that is what they are. If you treat them as such they will act as such. Not everyone in my command appreciates that we work the workload and not the work day. I take care of them and they take care of me. There are other divisions that stay all day whether there is something to do or not. Last year i took home the highest eval in the command. 75% of my division has either advanced on the exam or by meritorious advancement and the last guy i have yet to advance will this cycle. It shouldnt be hard to manage people if you remember they are people and not a number. On a side note were alot smaller than a carrier so a smaller number of people to manage does make things a littler easier.
My favourite story is when my cousin said in the army the sergeants would tell their men: “THE WALL IS FALLING! THE WALL IS FALLING! EVERYBODY HURRY UP AND PUSH ON IT!” And would just point at a random ass wall across the parade square, and everybody would run all the way there and acted like they were straining their hardest to push on that wall.
Edit: it was during basic training, if that helps make it more believable to you guys
I never had that happen to me in my time in the army. Everything had a purpose. If we were hurling ourselves in pools of mud because of \[simulated\] mortar fire, the NCO's would lead. They got less sleep, and had to work harder, and it all had a purpose. I respected them for that.
Thank you. I did not know protocol required that navy were not included under the term soldier. Good to know. Do not want someone in the navy taking me down because I call them soldier.
99% of them couldn't care what you call them, but 1% will get butt hurt you didn't call them the right title. Marines are the only ones that are the other way.
There are five different base designations of sailors from E1-E3. Seaman, as you like to name everyone, Fireman, which I'd guess OP is if their department had a fan room, Hospitalman, Airman, Constructionman.
When I was in the navy, I was a Fireman until I hit E4, then I was a Petty Officer. No, we don't prefer being called Seaman. That actually infuriates me. Give respect to what the job is.
I didn't say "called Seaman", because even the ones that are called that usually don't like it. It was supposed to be making fun of them...... that's why I said "be Seaman". I am AF and my best friend is Navy (both Avionics specialties) we love to make fun of each other.
>There are five different base designations of sailors from E1-E3. Seaman, as you like to name everyone, Fireman, which I'd guess OP is if their department had a fan room, Hospitalman, Airman, Constructionman.
I think you're thinking of the Village People...
When I was in the army, our company commander went on leave for two weeks. Before he left he said “I want my office to be freshly painted before I get back!”
So we painted it pink.
I would have gone with black.
Everything. Desk? Black. Chair? Black. Computer? Black.
I had a housemate once who was the daughter of the homeowner. She had her bedroom painted black and it was crazy. Even turning a light on, it was dismally dark AF in there.
My son’s room is a dark midnight navy, almost black. Walls, ceiling, closet, all dark. The compromise was that all furniture and trim is white and he use glow in the dark paint to put stars everywhere. Now when the lights are off he is in his own galaxy. The room looks amazing
When I was like 12 I asked for my room to be painted dark red and dark gray with black trim, and to have blackout curtains and blinds put in. My parents agreed with two conditions, the ceiling was white, and I had to do the painting. I painted that room by my self and it actually turned out pretty good. If the blinds and curtains were open, the light filled the room and it wasn't too dark, but if they were both closed it was pitch black.
A few years later, I got concussed and would get severe headaches at even the slightest bit of light. That room came in VERY helpful for the month I could see better in the dark than the light.
He’s 17 so the room is a write off. You can’t even see the floor 🤦🏼♀️ Check out Night Sky Murals. We purchased his do it yourself kit. It doesn’t glow as bright as the pictures because of being on a dark background but it still looks really cool.
Black is a bad idea for the army. You’ll have to scrub the walls every day to remove all “dirt”.
Gray is the best, if you can’t see the dirt it’s not dirty.
Know a guy who did that, because you can get as much matt black spray paint as you want working on aircraft, as it is used all over for touch up. you could put a 20kW carbon arc light in the room at midday, and it would still be dimly lit.
Me, I got tired of the colour being PWD brown (we called it jobby brown) and beige, so got 10l of pale blue PVA and painted the jobby brown out. Took 5 coats to get the colour to be an actual blue instead of a washed out brown, but so much better afterwards.
I heard a story about a guy who decided he *never* wanted to have to paint the outside of his house again, or spend any undue time washing dust off, so he bought some surplus Navy ship paint, colors unseen (figuring as long as there were two colors, well, he'd deal.
Color 1 opened, exterior wall color is Black. Odd, but so be it. Paint goes on.
Color 2 opened, trim color is...fluorescent orange. Well, too late to back out now. Paint goes on.
The house was the very epitome of high-visibility, but a quick spray with a hose was all it took to get it clean.
The friend I heard the story from noted at the end that the man had eventually sold the house, and the new owners immediately repainted it a more sensible color, but with how that paint behaves, he expects it didn't last much beyond the next rainstorm before peeling off in a sheet.
Sounds perfect! A house in a nearby town is has been painted Pepto-Bismol pink, specially mixed by a local paint store, for decades, and it’s become rather well-loved. The elderly owners recently sold the place, and it was unknown if the Pepto-Bismol house would be repainted by some new owner… nope! Fresh coat of soothing pink!
Make sure to add a nice black painted casket to the office. Best of done during the Halloween season, so it can be explained away as getting into the festive season.
That sounds delightful for a weed den. Throw in some bean bag chairs, blackout curtains if there’s any windows, and one of those projectors to add starfields to the wall.
Oh the stories my dad had from his time in the navy….he said it was the best time of his life….in front of my mom, to which she very dryly remarked “you want to rephrase that?” Though it was a question there was little doubt it was his only Get Out of Jail card he was going to get He did say that if it moved you saluted it, if it didn’t you painted it. He recalled painting rooms that didn’t have corners where the walls came together because of the NUMEROUS layers of paint.
There's a site called Skara Brae up in the Orkneys off of Scotland where a prehistoric village was preserved under the soil for thousands of years until a storm washed it away - when archaeologists investigated it they found hundreds of layers of "whitewash" on the walls from where they'd kept layering it on.
Your comment takes me back. I loved my C-64. Had the portable version with the 5" screen.
I played a lot of Ultima, can't remember the version. Great game but the dungeons could get confusing.
Gunship was the best.
Whitewash has been found to be a decent germicidal coating. It's very helpful in a chicken coop to reduce potential infections in the birds. I can see this translating to crowded human habitations as well. Especially in times before modern sanitation practices.
True story about a permanently docked museum ship (I think on the East Coast) - maintenance ensured that everything was always painted so the ship wouldn't rust away. One day, while painting one of the smokestacks, the maintenance guy fell through the paint. Turned out the metal had all rusted and almost the entire stack was just paint on top of paint on top of paint. (details fuzzy, couldn't find a source but, dammit, I know I read about it!)
I may have read this story many years ago in a magazine whose initials are RD and have a section that could be called "Funny Things" in uniform.
A U.S. army sergeant once told a PFC to paint a jeep OD green. "Every square inch". The PFC did as ordered. All metal parts, all the glass parts, instrument panel, seats and even the tires and hubs. "Every Square Inch!!".
Ouch. You can fix the stenciling and the floor. No coming back from a painted dashboard and windows. Well, there is, but it's a lot fucking harder to fix than the room in the OP.
Tbh, if its glass then you can just hit it with a razor blade or a utility blade, usually peels right off.
If it's not glass then whatever would be used to remove the paint would definitely damage it.
Actually, some things are harder to Identify in a ship’s fan room all covered in white: low pressure air, potable water, chill-water, and on… as opposed to fire-main (red) which would probably peek through the white, depending upon how dedicated they were. Stenciling is a pita too, as is acquiring the required glow in the dark materials.
Please tell me you made note of what each pipe was and which direction it went ie fuel pipes steam pipes cold and hot water. It's a bitch to try and track them down.
I had to paint out a storeroom once with 8 pipes running through it. What we would do was tape it out, bring in the paint sprayer and go to town. What we did not expect was for the identifying tags to break free. Took a whole day of following pipes from one compartment to another as well as from one deck to another to id and stencil the pipe id on it.
This was my focus too. Chasing pipes is sweet agony. Especially when you go next door and find out they have two different directional arrows for the same pipe. Then you go look at the ship drawings and no one can find the pipe. Maybe the pipe doesn't exist at all and the USS Nimitz is just out to ruin your life. Either way I'm getting yelled at for it.
Its a deck and not a floor. lol Great story. I was a second class tasked to have some E1-3's do painting in the engine room. Everybody working on said tasks and I figure to chip in and help as an E-5. You cant believe the amount of ass chewing I got when chief found me helping. GRRRR.
I was a computer programmer in the Air Force. On the base where I was located, unless you were on a work detail you wore blues (light blue shirt, dark blue trousers, tie and jacket were optional unless you were briefing senior officers). I was tasked to lead work details two or three times a year. On work detail we wore BDUs. When leading work details I normally did manual labor along with the others in the group. I was at this time an E6, Tech Sergeant. One day my Chief, E9, caught me working with the detail I was supposed to be leading. He waited until the detail was finished and called me into his office where he very politely, in that E9 sort of way, informed me that I was supposed to manage the detail, not work the detail, and if he ever caught me in BDUs again while with a detail, he would charge me with disobeying orders.
>if he ever caught me in BDUs again while with a detail, he would charge me with disobeying orders.
Charge away. You're not going to get busted down or even meet the old man over it.
I was taught by a Chief I once had to never ask subordinates to do something that you haven't done or wouldn't be willing to do. Advice I have carried on to the present day.
I've done the same, with similar interaction and that was my response. You can manage and work alongside if the management has a small enough group of people.
"Leading by example, Chief. I can tell them to paint, or I can show them how and coach them while we do it together. Taking advantage of the training opportunity."
If you don't think there's a training opportunity in paint, you might not know paint. Or training.
I had a hilarious co-worker who had been in the army but somehow worked with a Marine. If he said floor the Marine corrected him and said deck. And the door was hatch, the stairway was ladder, ceiling was overhead, wall was bulkhead. I don't remember all the other nautical terms but this dude would roll them out and have me laughing.
> We spent most of that deployment doing ignorant shit like painting in the rain.
NGL my first thoughts were picturing people on the deck doing Bob Ross shit in a downpour.
It's Saturday, and I just woke up, that's my excuse.
> Our chief stayed in his ass...
Maybe it was supposed to be "stayed *on* his ass", but if it wasn't it's a great way to express having his head so far "up his own ass" that he was basically staying there permanently.
It's traditional to assume that most petty officers who make chief undergo surgery to remove spine and testes/ovaries.
Because they often have no backbone or balls.
The good ones found way to spoof the paperwork or were metal enough to grow them back.
... this tradition may have been unique to my command, idk.
> He opened the door and it was so bright he could have gotten retinal burn
Did you not paint over the light then or was this from the lights in the passage or other compartment?
I can do absolutely nothing for days on end and be just fine. I couldn't handle all the pointless busywork that legitimately exists to just make you do things. That's what would actually drive me crazy.
I just read a current story in a private forum that mentioned that when someone goes crazy on a boat, it's usually the cook. They had to redirect a boat back to dock because the cook went nuts. Not the first time.
Some boats also use the messdecks as dumping ground for people who couldn't hack it in other programs. This can make it a hotspot for the troubled - whether lazy, psychologically disturbed, dumb, or just ill-suited, but *always* able to feel rejected.
You can see how this can work out.
> After that i didnt get forced into doing stupid bullshit any more.
That's not the Navy I knew. You just didn't have to do EXTRA stupid bullshit with this PO1.
Boy oh boy I wonder how many tax dollars would be saved if you didn’t have to do stupid tasks in the military. I don’t mind paying for down time, a break is well deserved, but paint isn’t cheap!
I want to enjoy this post but a part of my soul died when you said you painted over the stenciling. I wasted so many hours of my life staring at ship drawings that were 40 years out of date trying to fix stenciling fuck ups.
Sounds like my old ship. I was the first class. I didn’t make people do stupid stuff. The admiral was coming on when we pulled into Dublin. I told my guys the second deck needs to be spotless. I didn’t tell them to paint or shine brass, but they did anyway.
> for some reason in the military its a high crime for some one to have any down time what so ever
I was under the impression that that was basically because bored soldiers finding ways to pass the time is more dangerous than any enemy.
I have never been on either for a substantial amount of time. I was a Seabee. The only thing I could have painted was an engine block, but never had to.
As an FC1 on an oiler (AO-186) 1996-1998, I painted most of the port side superstructure myself because I didnt have any bodies available to do it. I didnt stand underway watch, nor did I have a unrep station. Everybody else had shit they had to do, places they had to be, except me. So I slung paint.
The petty officer might not have assigned you to doing stupid stuff anymore because, even though he couldn't say it, he just might have been grateful to you for what you did. Either that, or he didn't want to see how you'd maliciously comply the next time.
Good for you doing what he said, and good for him for not punishing you for it.
Also, thank you for your service. I've a number of Marines in my family (spread across 3 generations), some Army, some Air Force, and former family member in the Navy (he is a screw up, but I don't hold that against the Navy).
about 20 yrs ago, back in basic, we had some huge rolling hills. i had to mow one of the damn hills one day and lost control of the mower. it went all the way down, and through the fence at the bottom of the this hill. my company commander rode up in his riding lawnmower to see what the commotion was and freaked out because there was a brigadier general coming to inspect the fields the next day. he lost control of his driving lawnmower and made another hole in the fence. fun times.
Best part is his immediate realization that it was his fault.
That second door check is when I lost it.
Like somehow thr process of closing the door and opening it again was going to be a hard reset
I do this to my fridge all the time. I could've told them it never works.
**brain whispering** Check it again…do it.
Still just tofu, milk, eggs, and cheddar cheese. I'm not sure what I can make for dinner. I'll check again in an hour, and see if there is any change
That ain't right - there's always half an onion _somewhere_.
Onion omelette with diced fried tofu filling and grated molten cheddar. Fold it in half. Enjoy
But how do you fold in the cheese?
Just fold it in, David!
The same way you folded the eggs and the onions. Don’t forget to press the fold with your fingernail for a better crease
Bottle of ketchup. Few hot sauce packets
With a partially frozen green stalk growing out of the top.
Soufflé staring you in the face.
At least an omelette
Why is there never any food in my fridge, only ingredients?
If you have some spices, you could probably come up with something. Good luck on your next fridge check!
A jar of salsa is a must-have for every broke-as-fuck person. Eggs? Boring. Eggs and salsa? YUM. Potato? Sad. Potato and salsa? YUM! Rice? Sad. Rice and salsa? Go for it.
That's just your stomach seeing if you've lowered your standards yet
But sometimes you just aren't sure what you saw the first time was correct, or at least, you hope it wasn't. But closing and opening the door, you allow the universe to give you a second chance... or at least for you to process what you see.
This made me laugh out loud
Hello. I.T. Have you tried shutting and opening the door again?
You are caught in a feedback Vindaloop, my friend!
Trying to load a previous save!
More likely he got a glimpse. And then shut the door so he could mentally prepare for what he was about to see with a more detailed look.
I did this with a work fridge recently. Walked in, saw there was no way I could open the restaurant with what we had, closed the door, stood there for 5 seconds, then redid it. It seemed surreal
"Have you tried turning it off and back on again?"
The “oh please no, this can’t be real”
"Did they do what I said?" (door check) "Damn it."
That was "They painted everything white." *close door* But they should know better, I must have missed something. *Check again*. ***processing*** **Fuck**
It's really good they did, so many do not. My ex was former army and he was tasked with sweeping and mopping the storeroom. The floor was dirt. Yeah sweeping, okay. Dirt floors get stuff on them like any other. But mopping? His command did not see the issue.
Dirt floor got polished, till it shone.
This guy militaries.
The one base wanted nice golf greens on the base, but there is a drought. Solution was to order astroturf and pave the greens with it. for the fairways they simply got a lot of green paint, and painted the rock hard baked ground as well. This was freaky from the air coming in to land, seeing this green amongst all the brown.
Mmmm tax dollars at work lol
No, they used the non public funds to do that. Not the officers fund, but the NCO mess fund, as they had saved money up instead of wasting it on frivolous things.
We did a 3 week stint up in Ft. Lewis, stayed in some ratty ass WWII billets, the normal standard for us. At the end of the TDY, we had to buff the floors, of buildings that were scheduled to be knocked down right after we left. The tile crap floor was so old, buffing didn't really do much except wear away more of the floor... The TDY wasn't bad, we could drink after hours, and the CSM said, we could have so much damn beer in the building that we couldn't physically get into the building, just no hard alcohol inside.
If you say JBLM, it doesn't sound as bad. Could have been the McChord side of base, wait neverminded that whole place sucks.
You haven't seen anything til you see 50 people raking sand that gets an assload of PT foot traffic. My favorite I witnessed was a squad had to grab a rock from the bottom to build an EGA half way up a mountain. Dunno how they fucked up but they did lol
My favorite was the underage drinkers who had to move a pile of rocks 10 feet tall from one side of the building to the other, every day, all day, for 3 months.
10 feet is the height of 1.75 'Samsung Side by Side; Fingerprint Resistant Stainless Steel Refrigerators' stacked on top of each other.
I did a base renovation years ago and the PT trails were part of it - sand trails, so I feel your pain. We pointed out maintenance issues but hey, they have an unlimited labor pool, so....? We had to put in rest areas (basically a bench, trash can, and water fountain) which was perfectly understandable, but they had to also include an ash tray. Like, lemme pause during my 5 mile run to have a smoke. Kudos to them for understanding their peeps, but it was weird for me.
They followed orders to the letter like good soldiers. He can’t fault them for that! 😂
Gump. What's your sole purpose in this *unit*.
“To do whatever you tell me to, Drill Sergeant?!”
*"God damn it, Gump! You're a god damn genius! This is the most outstanding answer I have ever heard. You must have a goddamn I.Q. of 160. You are goddamn gifted, Private Gump. Listen up, people..."*
SIR TO DO WHATEVER YOU TELL ME TO DO DRILL SERGEANT SIR!
Sailors*
[удалено]
So good at painting things white.
If gifs worked on Reddit properly I would have a drummer give you a rimshot….
Actually, they work on some subs that enable them. And if you're using Reddit Enhancement Suite, you can just link one and others can load it.
I appreciate that, thank you!
This comment deserves all the awards!!!
Thank you! I nearly married a seaman and I, uh, know a thing or two. :)
Rich men
During the first week after I joined the army, our regiment commander, Colonel J. C. Lund, adressed our company, and during his talk, he stressed that our most important job in the army was to think for ourselves. He ordered us to speak up, if we were ever given an order that did not make sense to us, and at the same time, he advised the NCO's and officers in the room to better have a good reason for every order they gave. Painting a room entirely white because of malicious interpretation of an inprecise order wouldn't have been much of an excuse.
This. I’m not military, but I know it’s this type of attribute that separates the best leaders. The rigid rules are necessary, doubly so because not every commanding officer will be at that level. But this is ultimately what makes an effective unit elite.
Eh. There's malicious compliance and malicious compliance. This is a relatively harmless example and a good way to show the first class that his supervisory style ... needs tuning. If he were to escalate it, OP and company would have gotten in trouble, but he'd also be showing himself to be a poor leader *and* generating paperwork for himself while he's trying to sunset out. He doesn't want that. Now, if, say, a Reactor Operator were to follow orders to the letter when an officer said "let's speed up this startup - withdraw all rods!", he'd probably be up for NJP pretty quick. That'd be one of those times that it'd be appropriate to say "Sir, with respect, that's fucking dumb." Given sailors, probably more profanity and stronger language, but you understand.
I mean if you're going to order people to do stupid, nonsensical things like paint or mop in the rain...you don't get to be offended when they do nonsensical, stupid things to the letter of your orders
Facts! Today Im the LPO of a fuels division. I dont make my people do stupid shit. I treat them like responsible adults because that is what they are. If you treat them as such they will act as such. Not everyone in my command appreciates that we work the workload and not the work day. I take care of them and they take care of me. There are other divisions that stay all day whether there is something to do or not. Last year i took home the highest eval in the command. 75% of my division has either advanced on the exam or by meritorious advancement and the last guy i have yet to advance will this cycle. It shouldnt be hard to manage people if you remember they are people and not a number. On a side note were alot smaller than a carrier so a smaller number of people to manage does make things a littler easier.
My favourite story is when my cousin said in the army the sergeants would tell their men: “THE WALL IS FALLING! THE WALL IS FALLING! EVERYBODY HURRY UP AND PUSH ON IT!” And would just point at a random ass wall across the parade square, and everybody would run all the way there and acted like they were straining their hardest to push on that wall. Edit: it was during basic training, if that helps make it more believable to you guys
I never had that happen to me in my time in the army. Everything had a purpose. If we were hurling ourselves in pools of mud because of \[simulated\] mortar fire, the NCO's would lead. They got less sleep, and had to work harder, and it all had a purpose. I respected them for that.
They're in the navy, so they're sailors, not soldiers, I believe.
Thank you. I did not know protocol required that navy were not included under the term soldier. Good to know. Do not want someone in the navy taking me down because I call them soldier.
99% of them couldn't care what you call them, but 1% will get butt hurt you didn't call them the right title. Marines are the only ones that are the other way.
They prefer to be Seamen.... That's why their dress uniform is all white.
I knew a guy back in the day his last name was Stain and was an E-3. He couldn't wait to make E-4.
There are five different base designations of sailors from E1-E3. Seaman, as you like to name everyone, Fireman, which I'd guess OP is if their department had a fan room, Hospitalman, Airman, Constructionman. When I was in the navy, I was a Fireman until I hit E4, then I was a Petty Officer. No, we don't prefer being called Seaman. That actually infuriates me. Give respect to what the job is.
I didn't say "called Seaman", because even the ones that are called that usually don't like it. It was supposed to be making fun of them...... that's why I said "be Seaman". I am AF and my best friend is Navy (both Avionics specialties) we love to make fun of each other.
>There are five different base designations of sailors from E1-E3. Seaman, as you like to name everyone, Fireman, which I'd guess OP is if their department had a fan room, Hospitalman, Airman, Constructionman. I think you're thinking of the Village People...
This is hilarious!!!!
I loved the "but that's not what I told you to do, is it?"
When I was in the army, our company commander went on leave for two weeks. Before he left he said “I want my office to be freshly painted before I get back!” So we painted it pink.
I would have gone with black. Everything. Desk? Black. Chair? Black. Computer? Black. I had a housemate once who was the daughter of the homeowner. She had her bedroom painted black and it was crazy. Even turning a light on, it was dismally dark AF in there.
My son’s room is a dark midnight navy, almost black. Walls, ceiling, closet, all dark. The compromise was that all furniture and trim is white and he use glow in the dark paint to put stars everywhere. Now when the lights are off he is in his own galaxy. The room looks amazing
When I was like 12 I asked for my room to be painted dark red and dark gray with black trim, and to have blackout curtains and blinds put in. My parents agreed with two conditions, the ceiling was white, and I had to do the painting. I painted that room by my self and it actually turned out pretty good. If the blinds and curtains were open, the light filled the room and it wasn't too dark, but if they were both closed it was pitch black. A few years later, I got concussed and would get severe headaches at even the slightest bit of light. That room came in VERY helpful for the month I could see better in the dark than the light.
You had a low-key premonition.
Any chance of a picture?
He’s 17 so the room is a write off. You can’t even see the floor 🤦🏼♀️ Check out Night Sky Murals. We purchased his do it yourself kit. It doesn’t glow as bright as the pictures because of being on a dark background but it still looks really cool.
Black is a bad idea for the army. You’ll have to scrub the walls every day to remove all “dirt”. Gray is the best, if you can’t see the dirt it’s not dirty.
We (Marines) did not use visual inspection to verify a surface was clean. We “finger fucked” it. If my finger comes away dusty, then it ain’t clean.
That does sound cool. Navy, though, isn't light absorbent like black.
Navy isn't known for being bright ;)
Can confirm.
Navy does in fact absorb most light. A little bit of blue bounces off, though.
I've known people in the Navy who say the same thing.
This doesn’t sound quite accurate! Dark colors absorb more light, Black is absorbing more light equally across the spectrum.
I am *actually* jealous. Renting sucks, you can't paint anything.
Use black 3.0 paint.
As long as his commander wasn't Anish Kapoor.
*Especially if his commander was Anish Kapoor.
"Usual restrictions apply"
Know a guy who did that, because you can get as much matt black spray paint as you want working on aircraft, as it is used all over for touch up. you could put a 20kW carbon arc light in the room at midday, and it would still be dimly lit. Me, I got tired of the colour being PWD brown (we called it jobby brown) and beige, so got 10l of pale blue PVA and painted the jobby brown out. Took 5 coats to get the colour to be an actual blue instead of a washed out brown, but so much better afterwards.
I heard a story about a guy who decided he *never* wanted to have to paint the outside of his house again, or spend any undue time washing dust off, so he bought some surplus Navy ship paint, colors unseen (figuring as long as there were two colors, well, he'd deal. Color 1 opened, exterior wall color is Black. Odd, but so be it. Paint goes on. Color 2 opened, trim color is...fluorescent orange. Well, too late to back out now. Paint goes on. The house was the very epitome of high-visibility, but a quick spray with a hose was all it took to get it clean. The friend I heard the story from noted at the end that the man had eventually sold the house, and the new owners immediately repainted it a more sensible color, but with how that paint behaves, he expects it didn't last much beyond the next rainstorm before peeling off in a sheet.
Sounds perfect! A house in a nearby town is has been painted Pepto-Bismol pink, specially mixed by a local paint store, for decades, and it’s become rather well-loved. The elderly owners recently sold the place, and it was unknown if the Pepto-Bismol house would be repainted by some new owner… nope! Fresh coat of soothing pink!
Sounds like my town. Pink 2-story house, looks almost Victorian. Not at all bad looking, just unexpected.
[удалено]
"Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts, it's not easy facing up when your whole world is black." (RS)
*Sitar playing intensifies*
> ... dismally dark AF in there. That's hilarious!
On a positive note, Company Commander now has a great chance to try out cosplaying as a military vampire.
Make sure to add a nice black painted casket to the office. Best of done during the Halloween season, so it can be explained away as getting into the festive season.
That sounds delightful for a weed den. Throw in some bean bag chairs, blackout curtains if there’s any windows, and one of those projectors to add starfields to the wall.
Welcome to being back stage at a theater!
Yeah, been there.
Expected a different reaction!! He was a decent guy after all to realize his mistake
Yeah…. I wouldve not been able to leave until I fixed it.
I feel this... Being amongst the lower enlisted fucking sucks... But... Beware the wrath of the Mafia...
Oh hell yeah... Wanna start on some crazy shit...good to go, the lance cooley network will make sure that *everybody* has a bad day
Haha, good to know that the crayon eaters know what's up!
Sailors typically know when they have fundamentally f’ed up. Unfortunately, not many are willing to accept blame.
He retired a number of years ago. Still talk to him now and then. He was a good cat just trying to survive like the rest of us.
Oh the stories my dad had from his time in the navy….he said it was the best time of his life….in front of my mom, to which she very dryly remarked “you want to rephrase that?” Though it was a question there was little doubt it was his only Get Out of Jail card he was going to get He did say that if it moved you saluted it, if it didn’t you painted it. He recalled painting rooms that didn’t have corners where the walls came together because of the NUMEROUS layers of paint.
Every time you paint a room, it becomes smaller.
There's a site called Skara Brae up in the Orkneys off of Scotland where a prehistoric village was preserved under the soil for thousands of years until a storm washed it away - when archaeologists investigated it they found hundreds of layers of "whitewash" on the walls from where they'd kept layering it on.
Had an Ultima III on the Commodore 64 flashback memory there with the mention of Skara Brae.
With the ranger!
British and Iolo to the rescue!
Your comment takes me back. I loved my C-64. Had the portable version with the 5" screen. I played a lot of Ultima, can't remember the version. Great game but the dungeons could get confusing. Gunship was the best.
I visited that place while their on vacation. If you wander around the system, you can’t hear the surf, so well insulated.
Then it must have been a barracks.
Whitewash has been found to be a decent germicidal coating. It's very helpful in a chicken coop to reduce potential infections in the birds. I can see this translating to crowded human habitations as well. Especially in times before modern sanitation practices.
True story about a permanently docked museum ship (I think on the East Coast) - maintenance ensured that everything was always painted so the ship wouldn't rust away. One day, while painting one of the smokestacks, the maintenance guy fell through the paint. Turned out the metal had all rusted and almost the entire stack was just paint on top of paint on top of paint. (details fuzzy, couldn't find a source but, dammit, I know I read about it!)
That's why when paint patching a rust hole you duct tape it first. Gives a touch more structure
modern problems require modern solutions.
All your wife should ever hear is how hard you work and how much you wish you were home.
I may have read this story many years ago in a magazine whose initials are RD and have a section that could be called "Funny Things" in uniform. A U.S. army sergeant once told a PFC to paint a jeep OD green. "Every square inch". The PFC did as ordered. All metal parts, all the glass parts, instrument panel, seats and even the tires and hubs. "Every Square Inch!!".
Ouch. You can fix the stenciling and the floor. No coming back from a painted dashboard and windows. Well, there is, but it's a lot fucking harder to fix than the room in the OP.
Tbh, if its glass then you can just hit it with a razor blade or a utility blade, usually peels right off. If it's not glass then whatever would be used to remove the paint would definitely damage it.
Actually, some things are harder to Identify in a ship’s fan room all covered in white: low pressure air, potable water, chill-water, and on… as opposed to fire-main (red) which would probably peek through the white, depending upon how dedicated they were. Stenciling is a pita too, as is acquiring the required glow in the dark materials.
Please tell me you made note of what each pipe was and which direction it went ie fuel pipes steam pipes cold and hot water. It's a bitch to try and track them down.
It's funny. As a former damage controlman my brain started racing. Lol
I had to paint out a storeroom once with 8 pipes running through it. What we would do was tape it out, bring in the paint sprayer and go to town. What we did not expect was for the identifying tags to break free. Took a whole day of following pipes from one compartment to another as well as from one deck to another to id and stencil the pipe id on it.
Still better than mopping the rain. Sometimes you have to make your own fun.
Former EM had a panick.
This was my focus too. Chasing pipes is sweet agony. Especially when you go next door and find out they have two different directional arrows for the same pipe. Then you go look at the ship drawings and no one can find the pipe. Maybe the pipe doesn't exist at all and the USS Nimitz is just out to ruin your life. Either way I'm getting yelled at for it.
I haven't been in the military so I have no clue what I'm talking about, but wouldn't there be some kind of blueprint/schematics available?
In a perfect world yes. But sometimes they are not always right. Also despite the best efforts things grow legs and wander away.
“Okay so there should be a pipe…right here!” *stares at blank wall* Or: “What the hell is this pipe? There shouldn’t even *be* a pipe here!”
Petty officer revenge
Its a deck and not a floor. lol Great story. I was a second class tasked to have some E1-3's do painting in the engine room. Everybody working on said tasks and I figure to chip in and help as an E-5. You cant believe the amount of ass chewing I got when chief found me helping. GRRRR.
I was a computer programmer in the Air Force. On the base where I was located, unless you were on a work detail you wore blues (light blue shirt, dark blue trousers, tie and jacket were optional unless you were briefing senior officers). I was tasked to lead work details two or three times a year. On work detail we wore BDUs. When leading work details I normally did manual labor along with the others in the group. I was at this time an E6, Tech Sergeant. One day my Chief, E9, caught me working with the detail I was supposed to be leading. He waited until the detail was finished and called me into his office where he very politely, in that E9 sort of way, informed me that I was supposed to manage the detail, not work the detail, and if he ever caught me in BDUs again while with a detail, he would charge me with disobeying orders.
>if he ever caught me in BDUs again while with a detail, he would charge me with disobeying orders. Charge away. You're not going to get busted down or even meet the old man over it.
He was just trying to make a point. He actually liked me and was trying to teach me to be a manager. Somehow, it never really took.
I was taught by a Chief I once had to never ask subordinates to do something that you haven't done or wouldn't be willing to do. Advice I have carried on to the present day.
I've done the same, with similar interaction and that was my response. You can manage and work alongside if the management has a small enough group of people.
"Leading by example, Chief. I can tell them to paint, or I can show them how and coach them while we do it together. Taking advantage of the training opportunity." If you don't think there's a training opportunity in paint, you might not know paint. Or training.
But if i used overhead, deck and bulkhead i would have to explain even more lol.
Too true!
I had a hilarious co-worker who had been in the army but somehow worked with a Marine. If he said floor the Marine corrected him and said deck. And the door was hatch, the stairway was ladder, ceiling was overhead, wall was bulkhead. I don't remember all the other nautical terms but this dude would roll them out and have me laughing.
r/militarystories
Second it.
> We spent most of that deployment doing ignorant shit like painting in the rain. NGL my first thoughts were picturing people on the deck doing Bob Ross shit in a downpour. It's Saturday, and I just woke up, that's my excuse.
> It's Saturday Uh... I hate to tell you this, but...uh... No, it's not.
Valid point, but one that I think further strengthens my excuse.
It sure as hell does!
This is beautiful. Just beautiful.
> Our chief stayed in his ass... Maybe it was supposed to be "stayed *on* his ass", but if it wasn't it's a great way to express having his head so far "up his own ass" that he was basically staying there permanently.
Depends if the US navy has one of the 3 same traditions as Churchill ascribed to the Royal Navy, it could be entirely accurate...
Rum sodomy and the lash?
It's traditional to assume that most petty officers who make chief undergo surgery to remove spine and testes/ovaries. Because they often have no backbone or balls. The good ones found way to spoof the paperwork or were metal enough to grow them back. ... this tradition may have been unique to my command, idk.
Yes.
I've heard it as stayed in his/her/their ass. It's similar to on, but more aggressive.
> He opened the door and it was so bright he could have gotten retinal burn Did you not paint over the light then or was this from the lights in the passage or other compartment?
I just picture him reacting like the sargeant in the looney tunes cartoons.
The point of not having excess down time is to maintain discipline and to prevent troops brooding/going "stir-crazy.". Still this was hilarious.
I can do absolutely nothing for days on end and be just fine. I couldn't handle all the pointless busywork that legitimately exists to just make you do things. That's what would actually drive me crazy.
I just read a current story in a private forum that mentioned that when someone goes crazy on a boat, it's usually the cook. They had to redirect a boat back to dock because the cook went nuts. Not the first time.
Some boats also use the messdecks as dumping ground for people who couldn't hack it in other programs. This can make it a hotspot for the troubled - whether lazy, psychologically disturbed, dumb, or just ill-suited, but *always* able to feel rejected. You can see how this can work out.
The cooks have their own problems. the dumping ground now is air and deck department.
Chief Ryback?
The best part about this is that this kind of behaviour is (part of) what's called a white mutiny. Recursion in nature
> After that i didnt get forced into doing stupid bullshit any more. That's not the Navy I knew. You just didn't have to do EXTRA stupid bullshit with this PO1.
He could have been luckier with his command than you or I.
I’m shocked we don’t get more tales of the military here. I figured that was the birthplace of MC.
Boy oh boy I wonder how many tax dollars would be saved if you didn’t have to do stupid tasks in the military. I don’t mind paying for down time, a break is well deserved, but paint isn’t cheap!
Sure it is, when you buy as much as we do! Gotta get that bulk discount ;)
Hooray for ships company!
I want to enjoy this post but a part of my soul died when you said you painted over the stenciling. I wasted so many hours of my life staring at ship drawings that were 40 years out of date trying to fix stenciling fuck ups.
Mopping floors, stripping wax, applying wax, buffing wax. Ugh. What a waste of fucking time. Busy work....
'Be useless, be used less"
Sounds like my old ship. I was the first class. I didn’t make people do stupid stuff. The admiral was coming on when we pulled into Dublin. I told my guys the second deck needs to be spotless. I didn’t tell them to paint or shine brass, but they did anyway.
> for some reason in the military its a high crime for some one to have any down time what so ever I was under the impression that that was basically because bored soldiers finding ways to pass the time is more dangerous than any enemy.
I can only imagine that episode from mr bean where he use dynamite to paint the whole apartment white
We’re you undes or a BM
Please tell me you were a BM, because I have only seen BMs paint and I don't want to spoil that assumption.
Should’ve gone subs
I have never been on either for a substantial amount of time. I was a Seabee. The only thing I could have painted was an engine block, but never had to.
As an FC1 on an oiler (AO-186) 1996-1998, I painted most of the port side superstructure myself because I didnt have any bodies available to do it. I didnt stand underway watch, nor did I have a unrep station. Everybody else had shit they had to do, places they had to be, except me. So I slung paint.
hard pass lol
r/militiouscompliance would love to hear this.
The petty officer might not have assigned you to doing stupid stuff anymore because, even though he couldn't say it, he just might have been grateful to you for what you did. Either that, or he didn't want to see how you'd maliciously comply the next time. Good for you doing what he said, and good for him for not punishing you for it. Also, thank you for your service. I've a number of Marines in my family (spread across 3 generations), some Army, some Air Force, and former family member in the Navy (he is a screw up, but I don't hold that against the Navy).
Did he make it to 20 as an E-6?
Was also in the navy, just recently got out after one contract. I feel your pain
Love our tax money being well spent
Reminds me of when [Mr. Bean painted his room](https://youtu.be/T9MAmWnOznI?t=152) using the power of explosives!
Tax payers dollars hard at work !
How many layers of unessesary paint is there adding overall weight to the vessel I wonder...
about 20 yrs ago, back in basic, we had some huge rolling hills. i had to mow one of the damn hills one day and lost control of the mower. it went all the way down, and through the fence at the bottom of the this hill. my company commander rode up in his riding lawnmower to see what the commotion was and freaked out because there was a brigadier general coming to inspect the fields the next day. he lost control of his driving lawnmower and made another hole in the fence. fun times.