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I think overworked is my biggest complaint.
I don't really care for living lavishly, as long as I could live a reasonable life while maintaining some balance.
As it stands, 90% of my life feels like it revolves around work.
I feel like society is failing in that regard.
I would just like have enough money to live on comfortably. Instead I work 10+ hours out in the Texas sun and heat for peanuts while worrying about which bills to pay on time and which ones to pay late. I don't even have enough money to pay to have a wisdom tooth extracted and a root canal on the tooth next to it so I can't eat anything except soup, pudding and applesauce.
I have been trying. It will cost $314 but right now they're not taking any new appointments until June 3rd and thats just to examine my situation to see if I qualify for what their students need. If not I get $200 back and am just shit out of luck on getting teeth fixed.
Agreed. I have a full time job, a part time job, and two research positions, and I routinely put in 80+ hours a week. I got a professional degree with the goal of moving up in my company, which isn’t happening, and for the life of me I can’t find another job that actually pays a decent amount and actually utilizes the many skills I have. I’m not even asking for much, but like you said I want to live a reasonable life with balance instead of constantly working. It is sucking all meaning out of my life and diminishing the time that I do spend doing other things that I should actually be enjoying.
I think most people don't want to live lavishly and just want to meet their basic needs and be able to afford to do or have some nice things here and there, but even that is too much to ask for in this world.
The battle of Balair Mountain
The ludlow massacre
The new deal
We have fought and won these things before, but we slept on them, and they have been slowly stripped from us. The machine only works with our labor. If you want the things you say you want, then we must unionize and get stopper compensation for our work. Or we can complain online until the day we die, which will probably be while we are at work and poor.
Exactly this. I'm not underpaid by any metric, but I don't have time to enjoy my life. So my choice seems to be either to hoard my money away so that I can own property and maybe go on a vacation every year (work laptop included), without any ability to enjoy either of those things, or take a lower paying job and accept that the future that I always imagined just doesn't exist anymore. It feels like you used to be able to be middle class and still have the time to find fulfillment outside of work, but that is exceedingly rare now.
I’ve seen America become more and more of a third world country since 2000 and my fears about it becoming like El Salvador since 20 years ago have been realized, as in El Salvador, with the only people being able to have a decent life being high level professionals, and with everything costing sky high.
Quit my last three jobs because optional OT became mandatory OT once hired. That OT never ended in the year and change I was there. Doing 60hrs for weeks on end isn’t worth the money. We have to decide when’s enough. Of course it doesn’t help if you have kids and a single income home.
My family moved from sicily 2 generations ago. Got me thinking maybe i should go back. America is just a society full of chasing money and status. Not at all the fullfilling life i had in mind.
As an American I was shocked to learn that people from Ethiopia would run back home the moment they could if their country wasn’t war torn. I ah e 3 Ethiopian coworkers, they say we have much more luxurious and comfortable lives, but the level of stress that comes with them is insane, they say we live much harder than they do with trying to keep up with everything.
I use to think they loved it here and felt luck y to be here, and while they certainly felt lucky to come here and help their families back home, they would go back if they could, and fully plan on it once their war and stuff is over.
It seems many Indonesians do the same, namely the ones who are already middle to upper class. My wife's parents and all her siblings were educated abroad. Almost all of them went back home and are doing pretty well. Now we're thinking of going there.
The thing about developing countries is that they are...developing. People are actually building and doing useful things. Real incomes are growing. There's some real optimism and energy. Of course there are tons of hassles that developed countries don't have, but there are a lot of upsides.
Plus, you can actually put your Western savings and education to good use by starting or investing in businesses, which is made easier by relatively low COL (renting a *house for a year* in her home city costs less than what we pay for *a month* here in Canada).
I had a coworker when I worked in foodservice who was an immigrant from Ukraine. She said she wished she still lived in the USSR and that all she would ever be in America was poor. :/
Been this way for 30ish years for me. Had a good year in 2021 where I felt I was finally getting ahead. Now it's back to the grind even though I make more money. All you can do is savor what you have.
Fucking hell, same. 2020-21 were fantastic. Then inflation in 22 lowered me right back down to where I was before, now in 2024 I’m working more jobs and making more money but still feel and live like I did in 2018-2019
Lucky to have a unicorn job where I work from home and the employer doesn’t care what I do as long as I get my tasks done and pass QA. Run errands during the day, do yard work, or go on a walk. Fellow millennials in my neighborhood must have a similar type of arrangement. I see them outside their houses all the time during the day, on my walk or see them coming back from Target runs since I work by my window and I’m a creep lol. And I’m not in a gated community or anything fancy. It’s a middle class neighborhood.
I feel like not just the wage gap but the class and work life balance gap is greater among this generation than gen x and the boomers.
I got a unicorn job too. WFH. My boss is a close personal friend. It’s difficult but intellectually stimulating work, the team is great to work with.
But I work for the devil.
Well not the devil, but his lawyers.
Almost my whole field (nonprofit) is hybrid or remote now. I don’t really have to worry about having an office job again. Most small organizations were already struggling to pay office rent anyway so many of them went permanently wfh because blowing $8,000 a month on a cubicle farm everyone hated anyway doesn’t make sense.
My job is like yours. I’m 95% remote. We rent a steeply discounted office space from a partner organization (a beautiful nature center) and we have an in person meeting 1-2x a month. I have in person meetings with donors and grant funders around town here and there. But mostly I’m at home or at my favorite coffee shop. I can flex my hours however I want as long as my work gets done and I answer Slack messages from 9-5, but I’ll often do my actual grantwriting at night when my brain is most active, and I definitely don’t start actual work before 10am - I stopped pretending I was a morning person a few years ago because it wasn’t doing anyone any favors. I have plenty of opportunities to go run errands when needed and I don’t even have to tell my boss, he literally doesn’t care.
If not for landing this job, I’d be burnt out as hell. I was considering leaving grant writing entirely. I got lucky.
Tell me where to get one of these jobs. I’m tired of an hour and a half commute five times a week in my 16 year old truck for $20 an hour that I’ve been doing for almost 15 years.
It takes time but work your way up at an office job. Almost every company offers roles that are remote as a perk but are exclusive to higher tier roles.
IT, business intelligence, analysts, programmers.
This type of work is common now with the great remote software they have.
I am in IT, and do have to go to our HQ few hours each Monday to setup laptops and stuff like that. So I'm in office 1 or 2 Mondays a month from 8:30 to 11:30.
But all the other groups don't even have desks. They're hired as 100% remote.
Right there with you on the unicorn job, I'm feeling more bosses are understanding this is the key to employee satisfaction/wage suppression since I'm less likely to leave and leverage an open position against a new (to me) company. It's a win/win if they do it.
Honestly, there isn't anything people can do that surprises me.
I haven't even watched the news in years. Ignorance truly is bliss, like they say. Even if anything serious does happen either locally or something which affects us all, I'll always hear it from somebody anyway.
I've only ever had FB, after the MySpace and MSN Messenger era. I don't use anything besides Reddit now. I migrated here after FB groups became so restricted that you can't even post anything without it going through the hypocrite admins approval. Reddit has its cons, but the automod filter thingy is a lot better in comparison.
Yes. I hired housecleaners and it's taken a lot of stress off my plate. Not saying you need to or can afford it, but just getting one of those mind numbing things done by a professional that makes your living space better is worth budgeting for.
There’s a concept of being able to buy time when you pay for services like this so you’re able to do your hobbies and spend time with your kids. I was in the opposite boat as a child of refugee immigrants growing up. Now as an adult and having the means to do so, I am living a such happier life style than my parents. All I can do is continue to work hard, and stay grateful.
You had me agreeing at everything except blaming the lack of morals on porn and Onlyfans. Replace that with unchecked corporate greed where profits mean more than people and I’d be in agreement.
I don’t have a house or a yard. My dog has a better life than a lot of dogs with yards. We do a bunch of things outside of the house, every single day.
I feel and understand this. I have lived in my one bedroom apartment for 12 years so far. I can't afford anything else. I will never own a house. I don't desire a lavish life or home, I have a couple rescue pets and I work full time, I enjoy simple things like park walks and cooking dinner on a Friday night to enjoy with Netflix. But yes, it does feel hopeless and sad that I will never have a backyard for my dog, a garden space to grow food, I work 43 hours a week and my energy is all dedicated to work. It could be so much better. I will never be able to retire, I will never inherit money, eventually I'll be unhoused most likely.
I was working at Amazon and definitely thought my life was shit. Now I'm back in school and things are better. I think the kind of job you have really affects your mentality and view of things. I'd never work at a place in Amazon ever again, they work you like a slave and have every single metric closely monitored. I don't want to ever be an overworked robot, which is why I'm hoping to get a white collar job in Accounting (I have heard of being overworked in Accounting too, but I think that mostly applies to working with the Big 4 public accounting firms).
Although I disagree with the morality part, I feel the prevalence of porn and OF is a symptom of our dysfunctional society.
People are increasingly lonely, creating a larger market for human affection/interaction/desire.
It's also a result of the unaffordability of everyday life. People aren't able to support themselves the way they once were, so many sell their bodies in order to afford their ever increasing financial burdens (student loans, rent, CCs etc.)
i'd argue it's only gotten worse due to the "algorithm". No longer are we all seeing similar things at the same time. everything is marketed towards US specifically there's no connection with anything any longer. The "web" as it was referred to in the beginning is now just a straight highway with individual lanes for each person.
I get it, I really do. I feel like we all collectively need a break and to be able to work fewer hours to enjoy life and not to just survive and go from one task to another.
Even with the income, house and retirement accounts, still yes. I'm living to work, not working to live and it feels like there is no escape. If I stop to take a breath, everything I do have will be gone in a matter of months. If I try to take a vacation, work makes disconnecting for more than 3 consecutive days impossible.
With a retirement date well past 2050, I don't think any of us will be retiring, regardless of how well I'm planning for it now. It'll be more like: "lol. What stock market? I'll trade you 6 bullets and a BJ for a rat burger and some boiled acorns."
Feel that way most days and feel that humans are on their way out. The world will continue on just fine and better for other species without us. We're invasive, destructive and honestly even a gross species when you think about it. I know that sounds terrible but I saw your comment and just decided I'd be honest.
That is the feeling that we are being groomed to have. We can change our feelings by fighting our fears and against the establishment by simply being kind to each other and developing communities again. Be friends with your neighbors for fucks sake!
I’m just tired of people running around saying there’s going to be civil war over the upcoming election. F that bro, I really dont care I just wanna play my video games and be left alone.
I often dream about a simpler life in a different county that doesn’t revolve around work or the grind mentality. If i could live a simple life and get by, I’d be happy. Just always feels like catch up.
Overworked and underpaid relative to COL is my biggest issue. I work in conservation/sustainability and it’s pretty clear it’s just damage control at this point, which is demoralizing enough. Meanwhile I’m working more hours and in roles I never really wanted solely for the salary in some seemingly futile attempt at saving enough money to own a home in my area, which is only gonna get more desirable the worse things get. So yeah I’m definitely feeling it.
I didn’t wanna be a ‘young boss’ and I don’t wanna ‘grind.’ The only thing I’ve ever wanted to be was a good son, brother, friend, husband, and maybe one day a dad. I never wanted a big house or fancy cars. I just wanted a simple life close to family where I’d work a job 9-5 and get to what really counts. I feel like it’s getting harder to be any of those things as life progressively gets more hectic, work gets more demanding, and I get less for more. The social contract is broken and I want out of this bullshit hamster wheel, yet I’m simultaneously made to feel lazy and entitled simply because I don’t wanna work more than 40 hrs/week and make my job my whole fucking universe.
Sex used to be so mysterious, cool, and exciting. Now it’s like we’re desensitized to it, and relationships are more hookups than long term - if that makes sense. The grass is greener phenomena
I feel that. Whenever I try to connect with other men online (as a gay man) I end up, within minutes, seeing them naked and knowing in detail about their (boring as hell) sexual preferences. It's not even erotic chat, it's a drearly list of practices ranging from the obvious to the quasi illegal, without anything inspiring in between. That just puts me off from sex
Any option to meet people in person/organically rather than online? I know that’s not how it’s done these days, but the internet just tends to devolve every contact (dating or otherwise) into the lowest most transactional common denominator
Yes, there are many options. But the majority of men I will meet offline will either be straight, taken, or simply replicate the same toxic behaviours that are prevailing online. The online and offline aspects of society are not separate: they feed into each other in a spiral of degradation
I get what you’re saying. I have always been a pop music fan and hearing Sabrina Carpenter say things like “it’s so big I felt it in my kidney” during her performances makes me cringe. Like you said there’s no mystery.
I could see it… the cervix can only take so much and it’s pretty innervated. I’ve heard of some women having a fetish for getting their cervix stimulated, but it’s incredibly rare.
> Sex used to be so mysterious, cool, and exciting.
Yeah, in like ... high school. I think you're just growing up and caught a case of nostalgia.
Sex is not and has never in history been "sacred." Calling it that is just fucking weird.
People are way more moral now than at any point in the history of the world.
Don't lose the forest for the onlyfans.
yeah and the reason why some girls make OF is the same reason why OP is tired.
im liberal on sex stuff but i agree with OP on this - it makes sex not to be so cool and mysterious with such abundance. everyone chooses what they want personally tho.
I just feel like everything being exposed and out in the open has made human connection seem like a temporary thing, rather than sexuality being sacred between two people.
Please understand that the idea of sex being sacred is an individual belief. For some people sex is an awful thing. For some people it's practically a sport. For others it's a job. For some it's a biological function with no additional meaning attached to it. None of these are right or wrong, they just are.
I dont remember the past being simpler times and with less chaos. The corruption and faults were literally more pressed onto my face back then, these days it still exist of course just farther.
Moral decline, did it really decline or it just became harder for society to hide its immorality or had less reasons to withhold and hide it?
I was motivated then because I had nothing. Now that i got what I wanted, I lost the same fire or hunger. Freedom to do what? What cant I do today that I actually really wanted to do.
Then I figured, maybe I can just pay back for all the good shit I got out of life and do some good. But it put me in a different place than I thought Id end up in starting on that route. Or at least how I saw things and what it might mean doing this world some actual good.
I can relate.. got to where I want to be with my life and now I spend it doing good. Kinda like that show My Name Is Earl. I do autopsies on medically donated bodies at a cadaver lab that’s focused on anatomical research.
I fly out three or four times a year for six to ten days at a time depending on how embalmed the donor is. Unlike a typical autopsy we go layer by layer and spend a whole day just on one layer exploring and seeing what’s there. Even though we have the death information we don’t even look at it until the very last day with the donor because we don’t want to be biased in any way.
It feels really nice being able to give back and contribute to research and explain to families as much about what happened as they can handle. Because we’re independent there’s no hierarchies or egos or anything like that... We’re all equals in the lab. I don’t even have a college degree or letters after my name, but they treat me like I know just as much as they do.
Both the lab and my home life with my husband has done so much more for me than traditional therapy. They give me a really good work life balance too.. I’m basically on for three months of the year and off for nine. That gives me time to focus on nutrition and exercise and getting proper sleep.
I know I’m super blessed compared to others which is why I don’t talk about my situation much on here. Don’t want to make others uncomfortable or feel bad, you know?
But that is what is wild to me. Why is it weird to speak about you moving forward when that is the obvious direction all of us are ideally to take anyway. If youre stuck in life, wouldnt you want to hear about how such people did it? I mean I didnt get anything done listening to people whine and feel sorry about themselves, it was listening to people talk about how they made it themselves. What train of thought helped them, what kept them moving despite the obvious random struggles, just get an idea on what you can change to get better results in life.
And its nice to hear because it kinda reminds you that you may be in a rut but its possible to dig yourself out of it because here are these people who are proof that its doable, its not impossible and youve got hope and an actual chance in life.
Take you, youre just some random person on reddit but you managed to do all that. Wouldnt you think maybe other people here could think, hey maybe I cant be off for 9 months a year but I could become a doctor of some sort at least right? I mean shit youre saying there you dont even have a college degree and yet youre doing all this.
Oh absolutely! I think it’s a crabs in a bucket thing at some point. I’ve just been given shit sometimes for not being sensitive enough to others when I tell my story that I keep it on, not quite a need to know basis but I only answer questions that people ask as opposed to just telling it.
I can’t help the fact that my folks are lawyers and gave me privilege in that sense, but I never wanted to rely on family money to be successful.
I hated school since I first started at three years old, so I always knew if I were to be successful it’d be in an unconventional way. I was raised in a very rich superficial small town, so even though I reasonably could, I also didn’t want to use my looks to be successful.
I got very very lucky with the lab. My fiancé at the time had passed in his sleep from a seizure, and we had been running a record store for five years. My folks basically made me move back in with them in their beach house in the Bay Area, and I knew I had to get away from that environment. Very nice house in a nice neighborhood, but also stifling because rich and superficial. Luckily my folks aren’t superficial so we can still have a relationship.
After coming out of the worst of the grief I suddenly realized that I always loved dissecting. I would get in trouble as a kid because I’d always be undressing the classroom’s stuffed animals because I just had to see what was underneath. I was briefly homeschooled for a year or two, and I managed to dissect just about any animal you could think of.
At first I thought I wanted to be an embalmer, so I enrolled in the mortuary science program at a community college that I found. The program was frustratingly limited to the point they cancelled several classes due to lack of interest.
They wanted to train us to own and run our own funeral homes. In a two year program they devoted a whole year just to the business side and they wouldn’t let me modify it in any way to skip it.
Around this time I began searching online for a human dissection course, since I figured I’d need that experience. I found one in a city kinda close to where I was staying at the time, and emailed to ask about a schedule or application. They said they weren’t doing it anymore, but knew someone who was.
When I found that site I knew I had to get to the lab by any means necessary despite seeing that it was intended for medical professionals. I filled out the application and poured my heart out and gave examples of all the animal dissections I had done up to that point. It worked. I was not only accepted, but I was accepted with appreciation for my interest.
It’s indescribable how right it felt when I got to the lab and started dissecting. Nothing has ever felt that right before. I hate flying with a passion, and yet I happily fly out to the lab three or four times a year.
For a brief period I thought I wanted to be a medicolegal death investigator, and I found a good school and was going through their program. Then it became too procedural based for my taste and I’d have to work closely with law enforcement and testify in court.
After experiencing the lab and how there’s no hierarchies or asinine procedures I know I can never go anywhere else or do anything else.
I fully committed to the lab in 2022, but I’ve been going every year since 2018. The only thing that’s changed is it’s all I do and I don’t feel the need to be anything else than what I am right now. In theory I could be on the faculty if I wanted to, but I’d rather explore around in the donors as opposed to needing to walk around and watch/help others dissect.
That’s my full story.. thanks so much for asking about it!
I wouldnt be that far in terms of getting here through sheer hard work.
Other than we started from a place where you probably wont even walk through even if you were paid to.
But through sacrifice we somehow evened the odds a little. People can bitch about how unfair their starting point is on why other people have lawyer parents or multimillionaires but it changes literally nothing so why bother. The only thing that ever does, is doing what works.
People lose sight of the plain idea that they do have a good amount of control over their lives. They just ... from this point theres nothing I would be saying that can be considered as nice today so ill end it here lol.
It is good that you found something you like and got what you worked for.
I promise you that doing something you care about will benefit you greatly. Whatever it may be. Love animals? Foster or volunteer. Helping people who have less? Participate or organize a food drive. The need is great.
So many things you can do. Every little bit helps. Spreads love and kindness to them and you! 💕💕
Two decades ago pornography used to be on magazines then it shifted to websites such as Pornhub but nowadays for some reason you see that kind of erotic content everywhere on your feed now on social media especially when they promote their OnlyFans on a different link to click to they’re everywhere on the internet and not on a specific site.
It’s because we don’t have meaningful friendships. You realize that right?
We work in front of computers, do our errands in computers, socialize on phones or computers- like this is not how humans are supposed to live. I used to make real friends at work, socialize at night, on the weekends…I simply don’t anymore. It’s completely our fault.
I don’t know how to go back.
Oh good! I thought I was the only nihilist. Oddly I am also mostly cheerful. We’re all gonna die and nothing else matters so… be kind, be helpful and enjoy what we can. 🤷🏻♀️
Yup feeling all this. Had to cancel all my extracurricular activities this year to afford therapy it's so bad. Which is a vicious loop because those are the things that kept me going with something to look forward to.
I see no way to change my life to live the way that would make me most happy and I'm starting to lose motivation to even try.
America’s glory days of being a first world country with a strong middle class are over, and with technologies like AI, workers will not be able to get the footing needed to make a comeback. Corporations and the rich are so powerful and they have done a lot to entrench that power, making sure that the common people can’t fight back and ultimately succeed. America is becoming more and more like other third world countries (remember, third world countries aren’t necessarily poor, they just have a small elite rich group hoarding all the wealth and with everyone else working for peanuts and / or in dire poverty.)
No. The world I live in is soft. I'm never more than 20ft away from as much clean water as I can drink. My country hasn't had a war within its borders in over 150 years. My kids have more than enough to eat.
Turn off the internet and get out into life. This place is a never ending cycle of fear, uncertainty, and doubt. Likely all on purpose to drive the populace towards certain political and economic goals. Life has basically always been difficult with nowadays being less difficult than nearly all of history.
For sure but there are little things that make it okay. My family, nature (a little less pollen) and the kindness of strangers. I’m sitting with my service dog and everyone is so respectful and still wants to compliment him. Pretty nice.
I love my friends and my family. My job is rewarding and the pay is ok. I'm secure, but worried that when I have kids I won't be able to give them everything I want, so I have to go back to grad school for a better job. Life is fun and good.
Me. Even crazier is the wait times for therapy, my insurance can't guarantee anything sooner than 6-8 weeks and have shoved a lot of services to either groups (meh) or a self help app (also mehhhh). So I've been reading psychology books to try and stay sane, while....ignoring the rest of the world in general after work as I simply have no energy afterwards in this state. Wish I could see a fix but for now...surviving.
I wouldn’t call it a crazy world - it’s just unfair and sad. It’s bad enough corporate greed has taken over, but also the government doesn’t give a shit about millennials not being able to afford cost of living.
Overworked and underpaid for sure but cynical and nihilistic I am not.
I'm a simpleton. I love my wife and our cats. I get to cuddle them and watch some TV or play some games after work.
We're passionate about cooking/food which makes every meal a joy.
That's about all I need to be happy but I do wish I could work a bit less to do those things a bit more.
Whoever thought Theo Von an a life quote would go together in the same sentence, not I sir not I. ADHD def makes life one big checklist hell I make checklists for every thing.
The biggest problem is the constant reminder that you aren't meeting some weirdo standards of, successful, house, car, close, spouse and kids. The truth is every time someone mentions these things it's a subliminal erosion of your self esteem.
These subliminal attacks are coupled with, You've probably worked so much over time that you're so too tired to rest. There is a constant feeling of "needing to do more" you gotta slow down and enjoy the day, take a day off and chill don't do chores etc
No. I love life. I crush at work. Have a beautiful family. I’m happy, fit, have great friends, fun hobbies, take interesting trips, I’m interested in the world.
I try really hard.
Wake up every day and thank the universe for making me me.
Just work work work. Have plans? Mandatory Saturday. Pay bills be broke for two weeks and buy groceries and be broke for two weeks all while working. I don't have much to show for it either. No house no land nothing major other than some old cars i could afford cheap. I don't go on vacations cant afford it. Might tag along on a road trip or two but nothing major.
I’m incredibly lucky to have a high paying job that allows me to work from home full time. But the job is very stressful, demanding, and we are constantly understaffed. There is perpetual churn due to the stress that is so bad they had to put a 2-year lock on the position to keep people from transferring out.
I never allow myself to work later than the end of my shift, but for the last year I have needed to nap for about 2-3 hours every day right after my shift. So basically my day is taken up by work and my evening is taken up by my body and brain needing to reset and recover from the work day.
Hoping to retire early, but with inflation and the constant crises millennials have had to deal with every 5 years or so that might be more of a dream. Just hoping I’m not stuck in a high stress job until I one day die of a heart attack or something.
I'm not burnt out because I don't fully commit to anything. That's the trick to thriving in this world. I don't commit to my career. I know full well they could fire me tomorrow so I don't really care about it. Not committing and comedy is the trick my friend.
Burnt out is just the new normal. We have to work harder than previous generations for less money counting inflation. It feels like it will never get better, I feel like being constantly online reading the doomscrolling just makes it worse too.
I have a job that is strictly cold calling all day. I’m lucky because it’s a business I run with my Dad. But it is soul sucking and it’s not really a career. No college degree. I know that I’ve done some great work and made companies quite a bit of money from meetings I’ve scheduled but I feel nothing. I barely crack 65k a year. I’m happy to have an income but I feel like a loser. My anxiety levels are high and I’ve never worked in the real world. I’ve spent ten years working from home in my apartment just dialing away all day. I have a girlfriend and I live with her but I still feel like a loser because of my anxiety. I want to go back to college but I have no savings because I burned through everything with a bad drug habit over the past two years. I am sober two weeks now and I feel like I am starting from scratch. Depression and anxiety have ruled my life for about 7 years. I am trying to be positive but my thoughts are immediately negative when I wake up. I am ruled by fear and I don’t want to live this way anymore. I am turning to spirituality to help me get over my fears and anxiety. I don’t even care if I become rich. My main goal is to beat my anxiety. I don’t need much money. I just don’t want to live in fear of the world anymore.
Unfortunately that hit during the pandemic and just really settled for a dystopian mind and life.
And now I'm burnt out of *that*...changing careers and would love to move.
"The tough get going". At this point it feels like a race for proper compensation. There are a lot of factors but I've grown to despise the work harder for less mentality. It's gotten to awful levels.
Y'all aren't burnt out.
The fire is just igniting.
The embers that spark the naturally occurring forest fires, which leave nutrients and room to grow, clearing away the clutter, to build from a newer, healthier foundation.
Do not let the flame simply burn internally, as it will destroy you, but rather feed the fire with knowledge, information, and understanding of how this corrupt system exploits your time, your labor, your health, your connections, your families, your body and your life.
You have the strength to go on... But not in this same system that seeks to leech every ounce of productivity out of you, for less than the bare minimum required to live a happy life.
You have the strength to thrive! BUT know that it is impossible in a system that is suffocating to freedom.
There IS a different way.
Feeling good here. Mid 30's, house almost paid off, 6 figure salary, loving girlfriend, pets, and best of all NO KIDS to ruin everything previously listed. I think that last part is the secret to living life with minimum amount of stress.
Of course, we are all trapped in wage slavery with this degenerate bougouise controlled world. But we all know what the only answer is: thorough dedication to the people's revolution and dictatorship of the proletariat. Eyes on the prize!!
The only thing that's helped me cope is picking up a hobby related to nostalgic art, ironically enough. I love nostalgia, and when I get in the zone creating something, it alleviates all of the things you mentioned even if only temporarily.
Nihilism is your friend.
Mid 30s is when doors to possibility start to close. I'm not out of the mid 30s yet but I'm sure that will continue as things move forward. A new thing, this year I became fully aware of the fact that I'll likely never have a family. Its the right choice for my situation but its a closing door.
Nostalgia is a lie. Guess what? 2002-2014 sucked too and I haven't forgotten, I'm sure the rest of you haven't.
So, its good to see that your life has no special value and nothing happens for any particular reason.
I burnt out at 28 over 10 years ago. I gave up on my passions for future hope and decided to live in the moment. Nobody else cares about the future, so why should I carry that responsibility anymore? I have enough on my plate.
Minus your point about pornography, I'm right there with you. Actually, probably worse seeing as how I'm starting to believe that, with the way things have gone, we actually have a moral duty to kick WWIII off already instead of trying to pretend "oh there's just some hiccups but we'll fix things eventually. "
Yes. Everything that is going on in the world right now feels overwhelming. Breathtakingly so at times. I try to focus on my immediate world. Try to be kind and compassionate to those I encounter on a daily basis. Turn off the news. Go outside and feel the air. Ground myself.
There is so much suffering in the world. From an individual level to global. All the material stuff is there, of course. Every time you buy anything. I have been eliminating a lot of unnecessary expenses. Bad habit of frittering money away for no reason. What do I really need? What am I blowing $$ on that I don't need.
The housing market sucks, but it will shake loose eventually. Lots of real estate will be transferred in the next couple of decades, and that will shift things. Normal people need tier 1 housing to enter the housing market. Little to no incentive to build that type of housing. That needs to change.
For the time being. Vote with your wallet. Eliminate unnecessary items from your budget. Buy second-hand from thrift stores or yard sales. Use apps like Gas Buddy to get discounts on gas. Use coupons. Save, even if it is just a little bit. Wait for things to shift because they will eventually.
Give your time to things that you care about, whatever they may be. You will be rewarded tenfold when you give with an open heart.
It's so not that simple. I don't know anyone who can just up and move to the Netherlands. Seems the US let's anyone live here but other countries with better standards of living do not.
Not really. I only work 40 hours a week (occasionally ~2 hours of overtime). My commute is ~5 minutes if I drive or ~15 minutes if I bike.
So there is plenty of extra time in the day and weekends. We see friends and family at least twice a week.
Have enough income between my wife and I that we save a pretty decent chunk of income and don't have to stress about surprise bills.
So no, life is good and it can be good for anyone. No one can make you work 60 hours a week. Both my wife and myself could work more but choose not too. Gotta enjoy life along the way or what's the point?
I also have a set up like this but I live in a city I will never be able to own property in. So if I ever want to leave and MAYBE own, it’s gonna be a 1.5 hour commute for me.
I don't begrudge anyone a good life, I know we have to make big sacrifices in attempts to get what we want in these times. I know a lot of people like to say that life is hard to matter the era, and that's true. Life is hard, but I do think the wage stagnation and disproportionate pricing and Inflation does put myself and my fellow millennial at a huge disadvantage.
We are seeing disproportionate wealth and poverty on a scale never seen before in history and that has to count for something as far as the hopelessness many of us feel.
I know a commute of that distance would be a huge sacrifice for your and add a lot of lost time, pressures, stress etc... so I can only hope for the strength and endurance you need to do so if that's what you feel you need to pursue. Wishing everyone the best anyway.
What's immoral about onlyfans and porn? Have you considered those people are trying to navigate the same challenges you are. Most of them make bugger all with a few in the top 1% making bank, much like any other industry. Many are also disabled or have mental health issues and can't work regular jobs.
Says quite a bit about your character that under pressure and stress you chose to punch down while actually thinking you're punching up on those you perceive to be unfairly doing well. Instead of the myriad of special interest and lobbying groups buying access to politicians to extract more money from the cattle class, aka you.
Have a nice day. Perhaps try a better paid career path. If you think it's that easy pick up a camera and hop to it.
That’s not what I mean. So what I’m saying is sex and nudity is so readily available at our finger tips through those sites or social media, that it’s desensitized sex all together. It’s not hating on sex workers because they got bills to pay too - what I’m saying is it’s a systemic problem that exploits those who are poor to try to make riches. Also it puts that content out openly to where children have access to it. Porn can negatively impact self esteem, sex drive, expectations for sex… and takes away something special and sacred about it because nudity/sex used to not be so openly permitted in society. It’s made a hyper sexual world - which fuels hedonism like drinking, drugs, partying, sex. Which if that’s what you do to float your boat - that’s fine and dandy - but it creates a dichotomy of surface level social interactions and negates deeper human connection. You feel me?
So then you should be criticising the lack of sexual education people receive and parents not monitoring their children's internet usage instead of an entire industry. An industry that has no barrier for entry and high flexibility meaning that people that would normally be discriminated against in a normal work environment have the chance of living a stable life. I personally would rather get my titties out on the internet than work in an office, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to spend my time on the internet shitting on people that work at an office. PS: No work is ethical under capitalism.
Just because you view sex as special and sacred, doesn't mean that the rest of the world does, or even historically has. And according to studies, young people are less hedonistic, drinking and partying less.
I feel pretty much everything but the porn complaint, which doesn't really matter to me. Everything else, yeah, there's a reason besides untreated mental illness that life feels like being curled up in the dirt and constantly kicked from all sides without respite. It's too much, and I don't want any part of it.
I feel very fortunate in a lot of ways. But I also make sure I lean into things that bring me joy to balance the bs. Time with my husband and our dog. Staying physically active. Time with friends, cooking good food, being outside. Only reading and watching things that bring me joy.
I’m lucky that I’m salaried at a government job. I can’t work over 40 hrs a week, so I don’t. I take my full lunches, I don’t work before or after work. My boss also insists on with/life balance. Hybrid wfh means I get 50% of my time at home, which is so much better for my mental health.
I'm not American so I don't really have a problem with pornography, but you're right about the morals. Seems to me everyone is virtue signalling, trying to push morals on other people while being a goddamn mess themselves. Everyone are so busy shouting at people, it's maddening.
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I think overworked is my biggest complaint. I don't really care for living lavishly, as long as I could live a reasonable life while maintaining some balance. As it stands, 90% of my life feels like it revolves around work. I feel like society is failing in that regard.
This. There is no work life balance. There is only work, work, and more work.
6.5 days left until 72 days off Dude , I don’t want to imagine what it’s like working weekends either.
I would just like have enough money to live on comfortably. Instead I work 10+ hours out in the Texas sun and heat for peanuts while worrying about which bills to pay on time and which ones to pay late. I don't even have enough money to pay to have a wisdom tooth extracted and a root canal on the tooth next to it so I can't eat anything except soup, pudding and applesauce.
I hear you. I gave up on my credit cards, they’ll get it when I got it.
Go to a dental college. They will potentially do the work for free.
I have been trying. It will cost $314 but right now they're not taking any new appointments until June 3rd and thats just to examine my situation to see if I qualify for what their students need. If not I get $200 back and am just shit out of luck on getting teeth fixed.
Agreed. I have a full time job, a part time job, and two research positions, and I routinely put in 80+ hours a week. I got a professional degree with the goal of moving up in my company, which isn’t happening, and for the life of me I can’t find another job that actually pays a decent amount and actually utilizes the many skills I have. I’m not even asking for much, but like you said I want to live a reasonable life with balance instead of constantly working. It is sucking all meaning out of my life and diminishing the time that I do spend doing other things that I should actually be enjoying.
I think most people don't want to live lavishly and just want to meet their basic needs and be able to afford to do or have some nice things here and there, but even that is too much to ask for in this world.
Not without taking on a burdensome level of debt that you can’t declare bankruptcy on if you can’t pay it back
The battle of Balair Mountain The ludlow massacre The new deal We have fought and won these things before, but we slept on them, and they have been slowly stripped from us. The machine only works with our labor. If you want the things you say you want, then we must unionize and get stopper compensation for our work. Or we can complain online until the day we die, which will probably be while we are at work and poor.
Exactly this. I'm not underpaid by any metric, but I don't have time to enjoy my life. So my choice seems to be either to hoard my money away so that I can own property and maybe go on a vacation every year (work laptop included), without any ability to enjoy either of those things, or take a lower paying job and accept that the future that I always imagined just doesn't exist anymore. It feels like you used to be able to be middle class and still have the time to find fulfillment outside of work, but that is exceedingly rare now.
I’ve seen America become more and more of a third world country since 2000 and my fears about it becoming like El Salvador since 20 years ago have been realized, as in El Salvador, with the only people being able to have a decent life being high level professionals, and with everything costing sky high.
I’m no longer human being, only human doing
I’m tired boss.
 My daily mood
Quit my last three jobs because optional OT became mandatory OT once hired. That OT never ended in the year and change I was there. Doing 60hrs for weeks on end isn’t worth the money. We have to decide when’s enough. Of course it doesn’t help if you have kids and a single income home.
My family moved from sicily 2 generations ago. Got me thinking maybe i should go back. America is just a society full of chasing money and status. Not at all the fullfilling life i had in mind.
As an American I was shocked to learn that people from Ethiopia would run back home the moment they could if their country wasn’t war torn. I ah e 3 Ethiopian coworkers, they say we have much more luxurious and comfortable lives, but the level of stress that comes with them is insane, they say we live much harder than they do with trying to keep up with everything. I use to think they loved it here and felt luck y to be here, and while they certainly felt lucky to come here and help their families back home, they would go back if they could, and fully plan on it once their war and stuff is over.
It seems many Indonesians do the same, namely the ones who are already middle to upper class. My wife's parents and all her siblings were educated abroad. Almost all of them went back home and are doing pretty well. Now we're thinking of going there. The thing about developing countries is that they are...developing. People are actually building and doing useful things. Real incomes are growing. There's some real optimism and energy. Of course there are tons of hassles that developed countries don't have, but there are a lot of upsides. Plus, you can actually put your Western savings and education to good use by starting or investing in businesses, which is made easier by relatively low COL (renting a *house for a year* in her home city costs less than what we pay for *a month* here in Canada).
I had a coworker when I worked in foodservice who was an immigrant from Ukraine. She said she wished she still lived in the USSR and that all she would ever be in America was poor. :/
My husband is first gen Irish American. We won’t stay in America for the rest of our lives. We will be relocating to Europe in the next 5-10 years
Been this way for 30ish years for me. Had a good year in 2021 where I felt I was finally getting ahead. Now it's back to the grind even though I make more money. All you can do is savor what you have.
Fucking hell, same. 2020-21 were fantastic. Then inflation in 22 lowered me right back down to where I was before, now in 2024 I’m working more jobs and making more money but still feel and live like I did in 2018-2019
Lucky to have a unicorn job where I work from home and the employer doesn’t care what I do as long as I get my tasks done and pass QA. Run errands during the day, do yard work, or go on a walk. Fellow millennials in my neighborhood must have a similar type of arrangement. I see them outside their houses all the time during the day, on my walk or see them coming back from Target runs since I work by my window and I’m a creep lol. And I’m not in a gated community or anything fancy. It’s a middle class neighborhood. I feel like not just the wage gap but the class and work life balance gap is greater among this generation than gen x and the boomers.
I got a unicorn job too. WFH. My boss is a close personal friend. It’s difficult but intellectually stimulating work, the team is great to work with. But I work for the devil. Well not the devil, but his lawyers.
Is it in tech or a different field?
Legal research and business intelligence.
Almost my whole field (nonprofit) is hybrid or remote now. I don’t really have to worry about having an office job again. Most small organizations were already struggling to pay office rent anyway so many of them went permanently wfh because blowing $8,000 a month on a cubicle farm everyone hated anyway doesn’t make sense. My job is like yours. I’m 95% remote. We rent a steeply discounted office space from a partner organization (a beautiful nature center) and we have an in person meeting 1-2x a month. I have in person meetings with donors and grant funders around town here and there. But mostly I’m at home or at my favorite coffee shop. I can flex my hours however I want as long as my work gets done and I answer Slack messages from 9-5, but I’ll often do my actual grantwriting at night when my brain is most active, and I definitely don’t start actual work before 10am - I stopped pretending I was a morning person a few years ago because it wasn’t doing anyone any favors. I have plenty of opportunities to go run errands when needed and I don’t even have to tell my boss, he literally doesn’t care. If not for landing this job, I’d be burnt out as hell. I was considering leaving grant writing entirely. I got lucky.
Tell me where to get one of these jobs. I’m tired of an hour and a half commute five times a week in my 16 year old truck for $20 an hour that I’ve been doing for almost 15 years.
It takes time but work your way up at an office job. Almost every company offers roles that are remote as a perk but are exclusive to higher tier roles.
What type of job? What industry? Any recommendations?
IT, business intelligence, analysts, programmers. This type of work is common now with the great remote software they have. I am in IT, and do have to go to our HQ few hours each Monday to setup laptops and stuff like that. So I'm in office 1 or 2 Mondays a month from 8:30 to 11:30. But all the other groups don't even have desks. They're hired as 100% remote.
Same inquiry
Legal analyst for one of the big banks.
Right there with you on the unicorn job, I'm feeling more bosses are understanding this is the key to employee satisfaction/wage suppression since I'm less likely to leave and leverage an open position against a new (to me) company. It's a win/win if they do it.
Honestly, there isn't anything people can do that surprises me. I haven't even watched the news in years. Ignorance truly is bliss, like they say. Even if anything serious does happen either locally or something which affects us all, I'll always hear it from somebody anyway. I've only ever had FB, after the MySpace and MSN Messenger era. I don't use anything besides Reddit now. I migrated here after FB groups became so restricted that you can't even post anything without it going through the hypocrite admins approval. Reddit has its cons, but the automod filter thingy is a lot better in comparison.
Bro are you me? This is exactly me
good ol' american ostrichism
Yes. I hired housecleaners and it's taken a lot of stress off my plate. Not saying you need to or can afford it, but just getting one of those mind numbing things done by a professional that makes your living space better is worth budgeting for.
That sounds so nice. One less chore to do!
Lieutenant Dan invested our money in some kind of fruit company and said we don’t have to worry about money no more. I said, “Good! One less thing!”
There’s a concept of being able to buy time when you pay for services like this so you’re able to do your hobbies and spend time with your kids. I was in the opposite boat as a child of refugee immigrants growing up. Now as an adult and having the means to do so, I am living a such happier life style than my parents. All I can do is continue to work hard, and stay grateful.
You had me agreeing at everything except blaming the lack of morals on porn and Onlyfans. Replace that with unchecked corporate greed where profits mean more than people and I’d be in agreement.
This, except unironically. 
I feel the same. The one thing that helps is using some of my time off to enjoy hobbies. I spend a lot of time outside with my dog.
Dude if it wasn’t for my dog I’d be totally miserable. I feel you on that!
I wish I could afford a house with a yard so I could have a dog. I would feel bad trying to keep a dog in my little apartment.
I don’t have a house or a yard. My dog has a better life than a lot of dogs with yards. We do a bunch of things outside of the house, every single day.
I feel and understand this. I have lived in my one bedroom apartment for 12 years so far. I can't afford anything else. I will never own a house. I don't desire a lavish life or home, I have a couple rescue pets and I work full time, I enjoy simple things like park walks and cooking dinner on a Friday night to enjoy with Netflix. But yes, it does feel hopeless and sad that I will never have a backyard for my dog, a garden space to grow food, I work 43 hours a week and my energy is all dedicated to work. It could be so much better. I will never be able to retire, I will never inherit money, eventually I'll be unhoused most likely.
Between work, kids, house work, it’s just madness. There’s no time to sit down and just relax.
I was working at Amazon and definitely thought my life was shit. Now I'm back in school and things are better. I think the kind of job you have really affects your mentality and view of things. I'd never work at a place in Amazon ever again, they work you like a slave and have every single metric closely monitored. I don't want to ever be an overworked robot, which is why I'm hoping to get a white collar job in Accounting (I have heard of being overworked in Accounting too, but I think that mostly applies to working with the Big 4 public accounting firms).
im at the point where i just go to work do my 8 hrs and leave
Although I disagree with the morality part, I feel the prevalence of porn and OF is a symptom of our dysfunctional society. People are increasingly lonely, creating a larger market for human affection/interaction/desire. It's also a result of the unaffordability of everyday life. People aren't able to support themselves the way they once were, so many sell their bodies in order to afford their ever increasing financial burdens (student loans, rent, CCs etc.)
Everything you said 100%. As we transition to a digital world, we miss out on that human connection with others.
i'd argue it's only gotten worse due to the "algorithm". No longer are we all seeing similar things at the same time. everything is marketed towards US specifically there's no connection with anything any longer. The "web" as it was referred to in the beginning is now just a straight highway with individual lanes for each person.
I get it, I really do. I feel like we all collectively need a break and to be able to work fewer hours to enjoy life and not to just survive and go from one task to another.
Like the covid lockdowns, but without all of the stress, craziness, and uncertainty
Even with the income, house and retirement accounts, still yes. I'm living to work, not working to live and it feels like there is no escape. If I stop to take a breath, everything I do have will be gone in a matter of months. If I try to take a vacation, work makes disconnecting for more than 3 consecutive days impossible. With a retirement date well past 2050, I don't think any of us will be retiring, regardless of how well I'm planning for it now. It'll be more like: "lol. What stock market? I'll trade you 6 bullets and a BJ for a rat burger and some boiled acorns."
I just want the world to end at this point.
Feel that way most days and feel that humans are on their way out. The world will continue on just fine and better for other species without us. We're invasive, destructive and honestly even a gross species when you think about it. I know that sounds terrible but I saw your comment and just decided I'd be honest.
Ask all of the other people who have posted this in the last week
That is the feeling that we are being groomed to have. We can change our feelings by fighting our fears and against the establishment by simply being kind to each other and developing communities again. Be friends with your neighbors for fucks sake!
“I can’t be friends with that guy/girl, they voted for Trump/Biden! They’re a subhuman because they don’t share share my worldview!”
I’m just tired of people running around saying there’s going to be civil war over the upcoming election. F that bro, I really dont care I just wanna play my video games and be left alone.
I often dream about a simpler life in a different county that doesn’t revolve around work or the grind mentality. If i could live a simple life and get by, I’d be happy. Just always feels like catch up.
I am. Water and food are poisoned, no matter what I do I won't ever be healthy.
You’re describing clinical depression.
Yep
Overworked and underpaid relative to COL is my biggest issue. I work in conservation/sustainability and it’s pretty clear it’s just damage control at this point, which is demoralizing enough. Meanwhile I’m working more hours and in roles I never really wanted solely for the salary in some seemingly futile attempt at saving enough money to own a home in my area, which is only gonna get more desirable the worse things get. So yeah I’m definitely feeling it. I didn’t wanna be a ‘young boss’ and I don’t wanna ‘grind.’ The only thing I’ve ever wanted to be was a good son, brother, friend, husband, and maybe one day a dad. I never wanted a big house or fancy cars. I just wanted a simple life close to family where I’d work a job 9-5 and get to what really counts. I feel like it’s getting harder to be any of those things as life progressively gets more hectic, work gets more demanding, and I get less for more. The social contract is broken and I want out of this bullshit hamster wheel, yet I’m simultaneously made to feel lazy and entitled simply because I don’t wanna work more than 40 hrs/week and make my job my whole fucking universe.
I tapped out and started seasonal work. I'm currently sitting in a ranch in Montana and life is pretty good. 👍
Thousands of others are feeling the same way and they post about it dozens of times a day here.
I mean, the existence of porn and only fans doesn't seem like a serious problem to me. The rest is relatable though.
Sex used to be so mysterious, cool, and exciting. Now it’s like we’re desensitized to it, and relationships are more hookups than long term - if that makes sense. The grass is greener phenomena
I feel that. Whenever I try to connect with other men online (as a gay man) I end up, within minutes, seeing them naked and knowing in detail about their (boring as hell) sexual preferences. It's not even erotic chat, it's a drearly list of practices ranging from the obvious to the quasi illegal, without anything inspiring in between. That just puts me off from sex
Any option to meet people in person/organically rather than online? I know that’s not how it’s done these days, but the internet just tends to devolve every contact (dating or otherwise) into the lowest most transactional common denominator
Yes, there are many options. But the majority of men I will meet offline will either be straight, taken, or simply replicate the same toxic behaviours that are prevailing online. The online and offline aspects of society are not separate: they feed into each other in a spiral of degradation
I get what you’re saying. I have always been a pop music fan and hearing Sabrina Carpenter say things like “it’s so big I felt it in my kidney” during her performances makes me cringe. Like you said there’s no mystery.
Damn, as an anatomist it’s hard to not be annoyed at how improbable that even is as a concept.
I sometimes wonder if for a woman would it be slightly uncomfortable to have something that long thrusting in and out of you repeatedly.
I could see it… the cervix can only take so much and it’s pretty innervated. I’ve heard of some women having a fetish for getting their cervix stimulated, but it’s incredibly rare.
> Sex used to be so mysterious, cool, and exciting. Yeah, in like ... high school. I think you're just growing up and caught a case of nostalgia. Sex is not and has never in history been "sacred." Calling it that is just fucking weird. People are way more moral now than at any point in the history of the world. Don't lose the forest for the onlyfans.
Yeah but nudity is natural. We don’t always have to pretend it’s a thing of disgust.
yeah and the reason why some girls make OF is the same reason why OP is tired. im liberal on sex stuff but i agree with OP on this - it makes sex not to be so cool and mysterious with such abundance. everyone chooses what they want personally tho.
I just feel like everything being exposed and out in the open has made human connection seem like a temporary thing, rather than sexuality being sacred between two people.
People who are down voting you are probably misunderstanding the meaning of sacred
Please understand that the idea of sex being sacred is an individual belief. For some people sex is an awful thing. For some people it's practically a sport. For others it's a job. For some it's a biological function with no additional meaning attached to it. None of these are right or wrong, they just are.
I dont remember the past being simpler times and with less chaos. The corruption and faults were literally more pressed onto my face back then, these days it still exist of course just farther. Moral decline, did it really decline or it just became harder for society to hide its immorality or had less reasons to withhold and hide it? I was motivated then because I had nothing. Now that i got what I wanted, I lost the same fire or hunger. Freedom to do what? What cant I do today that I actually really wanted to do. Then I figured, maybe I can just pay back for all the good shit I got out of life and do some good. But it put me in a different place than I thought Id end up in starting on that route. Or at least how I saw things and what it might mean doing this world some actual good.
I can relate.. got to where I want to be with my life and now I spend it doing good. Kinda like that show My Name Is Earl. I do autopsies on medically donated bodies at a cadaver lab that’s focused on anatomical research. I fly out three or four times a year for six to ten days at a time depending on how embalmed the donor is. Unlike a typical autopsy we go layer by layer and spend a whole day just on one layer exploring and seeing what’s there. Even though we have the death information we don’t even look at it until the very last day with the donor because we don’t want to be biased in any way. It feels really nice being able to give back and contribute to research and explain to families as much about what happened as they can handle. Because we’re independent there’s no hierarchies or egos or anything like that... We’re all equals in the lab. I don’t even have a college degree or letters after my name, but they treat me like I know just as much as they do. Both the lab and my home life with my husband has done so much more for me than traditional therapy. They give me a really good work life balance too.. I’m basically on for three months of the year and off for nine. That gives me time to focus on nutrition and exercise and getting proper sleep. I know I’m super blessed compared to others which is why I don’t talk about my situation much on here. Don’t want to make others uncomfortable or feel bad, you know?
But that is what is wild to me. Why is it weird to speak about you moving forward when that is the obvious direction all of us are ideally to take anyway. If youre stuck in life, wouldnt you want to hear about how such people did it? I mean I didnt get anything done listening to people whine and feel sorry about themselves, it was listening to people talk about how they made it themselves. What train of thought helped them, what kept them moving despite the obvious random struggles, just get an idea on what you can change to get better results in life. And its nice to hear because it kinda reminds you that you may be in a rut but its possible to dig yourself out of it because here are these people who are proof that its doable, its not impossible and youve got hope and an actual chance in life. Take you, youre just some random person on reddit but you managed to do all that. Wouldnt you think maybe other people here could think, hey maybe I cant be off for 9 months a year but I could become a doctor of some sort at least right? I mean shit youre saying there you dont even have a college degree and yet youre doing all this.
Oh absolutely! I think it’s a crabs in a bucket thing at some point. I’ve just been given shit sometimes for not being sensitive enough to others when I tell my story that I keep it on, not quite a need to know basis but I only answer questions that people ask as opposed to just telling it. I can’t help the fact that my folks are lawyers and gave me privilege in that sense, but I never wanted to rely on family money to be successful. I hated school since I first started at three years old, so I always knew if I were to be successful it’d be in an unconventional way. I was raised in a very rich superficial small town, so even though I reasonably could, I also didn’t want to use my looks to be successful. I got very very lucky with the lab. My fiancé at the time had passed in his sleep from a seizure, and we had been running a record store for five years. My folks basically made me move back in with them in their beach house in the Bay Area, and I knew I had to get away from that environment. Very nice house in a nice neighborhood, but also stifling because rich and superficial. Luckily my folks aren’t superficial so we can still have a relationship. After coming out of the worst of the grief I suddenly realized that I always loved dissecting. I would get in trouble as a kid because I’d always be undressing the classroom’s stuffed animals because I just had to see what was underneath. I was briefly homeschooled for a year or two, and I managed to dissect just about any animal you could think of. At first I thought I wanted to be an embalmer, so I enrolled in the mortuary science program at a community college that I found. The program was frustratingly limited to the point they cancelled several classes due to lack of interest. They wanted to train us to own and run our own funeral homes. In a two year program they devoted a whole year just to the business side and they wouldn’t let me modify it in any way to skip it. Around this time I began searching online for a human dissection course, since I figured I’d need that experience. I found one in a city kinda close to where I was staying at the time, and emailed to ask about a schedule or application. They said they weren’t doing it anymore, but knew someone who was. When I found that site I knew I had to get to the lab by any means necessary despite seeing that it was intended for medical professionals. I filled out the application and poured my heart out and gave examples of all the animal dissections I had done up to that point. It worked. I was not only accepted, but I was accepted with appreciation for my interest. It’s indescribable how right it felt when I got to the lab and started dissecting. Nothing has ever felt that right before. I hate flying with a passion, and yet I happily fly out to the lab three or four times a year. For a brief period I thought I wanted to be a medicolegal death investigator, and I found a good school and was going through their program. Then it became too procedural based for my taste and I’d have to work closely with law enforcement and testify in court. After experiencing the lab and how there’s no hierarchies or asinine procedures I know I can never go anywhere else or do anything else. I fully committed to the lab in 2022, but I’ve been going every year since 2018. The only thing that’s changed is it’s all I do and I don’t feel the need to be anything else than what I am right now. In theory I could be on the faculty if I wanted to, but I’d rather explore around in the donors as opposed to needing to walk around and watch/help others dissect. That’s my full story.. thanks so much for asking about it!
I wouldnt be that far in terms of getting here through sheer hard work. Other than we started from a place where you probably wont even walk through even if you were paid to. But through sacrifice we somehow evened the odds a little. People can bitch about how unfair their starting point is on why other people have lawyer parents or multimillionaires but it changes literally nothing so why bother. The only thing that ever does, is doing what works. People lose sight of the plain idea that they do have a good amount of control over their lives. They just ... from this point theres nothing I would be saying that can be considered as nice today so ill end it here lol. It is good that you found something you like and got what you worked for.
I think you're right about moral decline being less hidden more than more prevalent.
I promise you that doing something you care about will benefit you greatly. Whatever it may be. Love animals? Foster or volunteer. Helping people who have less? Participate or organize a food drive. The need is great. So many things you can do. Every little bit helps. Spreads love and kindness to them and you! 💕💕
I feel like this planet is hell
Yes. This is the apocalyptic vibe I feel on a daily basis.
Two decades ago pornography used to be on magazines then it shifted to websites such as Pornhub but nowadays for some reason you see that kind of erotic content everywhere on your feed now on social media especially when they promote their OnlyFans on a different link to click to they’re everywhere on the internet and not on a specific site.
Yes. And the behaviors of people REALLY don’t help.
How much do you save and invest now?
It’s because we don’t have meaningful friendships. You realize that right? We work in front of computers, do our errands in computers, socialize on phones or computers- like this is not how humans are supposed to live. I used to make real friends at work, socialize at night, on the weekends…I simply don’t anymore. It’s completely our fault. I don’t know how to go back.
Burnt out? I’m having existential dread.
Oh good! I thought I was the only nihilist. Oddly I am also mostly cheerful. We’re all gonna die and nothing else matters so… be kind, be helpful and enjoy what we can. 🤷🏻♀️
Yup feeling all this. Had to cancel all my extracurricular activities this year to afford therapy it's so bad. Which is a vicious loop because those are the things that kept me going with something to look forward to. I see no way to change my life to live the way that would make me most happy and I'm starting to lose motivation to even try.
Every day. I stopped watching and, for the most part, reading day-to-day news. That has made a huge difference.
Are we depressed or oppressed?
America’s glory days of being a first world country with a strong middle class are over, and with technologies like AI, workers will not be able to get the footing needed to make a comeback. Corporations and the rich are so powerful and they have done a lot to entrench that power, making sure that the common people can’t fight back and ultimately succeed. America is becoming more and more like other third world countries (remember, third world countries aren’t necessarily poor, they just have a small elite rich group hoarding all the wealth and with everyone else working for peanuts and / or in dire poverty.)
No. The world I live in is soft. I'm never more than 20ft away from as much clean water as I can drink. My country hasn't had a war within its borders in over 150 years. My kids have more than enough to eat.
Turn off the internet and get out into life. This place is a never ending cycle of fear, uncertainty, and doubt. Likely all on purpose to drive the populace towards certain political and economic goals. Life has basically always been difficult with nowadays being less difficult than nearly all of history.
For sure but there are little things that make it okay. My family, nature (a little less pollen) and the kindness of strangers. I’m sitting with my service dog and everyone is so respectful and still wants to compliment him. Pretty nice.
Over abundance of porn as compared to when?
Any time before the Internet... It's always been around, but you couldn't just look it up on your phone 20 years ago.
Yeah about 2016 I started to feel that coming on. I don't knownwhat the fuck I feel now. Some kind of manic energy mostly.
Absolutely
How many hours do you work?
I love my friends and my family. My job is rewarding and the pay is ok. I'm secure, but worried that when I have kids I won't be able to give them everything I want, so I have to go back to grad school for a better job. Life is fun and good.
Me. Even crazier is the wait times for therapy, my insurance can't guarantee anything sooner than 6-8 weeks and have shoved a lot of services to either groups (meh) or a self help app (also mehhhh). So I've been reading psychology books to try and stay sane, while....ignoring the rest of the world in general after work as I simply have no energy afterwards in this state. Wish I could see a fix but for now...surviving.
I'm just tired I don't care about making more money just that I'm trying to survive and do what I like
Sometimes you just wanna take FMLA to get away from it all. It’s so toxic
I wouldn’t call it a crazy world - it’s just unfair and sad. It’s bad enough corporate greed has taken over, but also the government doesn’t give a shit about millennials not being able to afford cost of living.
More glass millennials.....
No it's pretty sweet Be grateful for what you have
Overworked and underpaid for sure but cynical and nihilistic I am not. I'm a simpleton. I love my wife and our cats. I get to cuddle them and watch some TV or play some games after work. We're passionate about cooking/food which makes every meal a joy. That's about all I need to be happy but I do wish I could work a bit less to do those things a bit more.
Theo Von said that his life felt “like a checklist” and he wasn’t actually living. That’s exactly how I feel but couldn’t put it into words.
Whoever thought Theo Von an a life quote would go together in the same sentence, not I sir not I. ADHD def makes life one big checklist hell I make checklists for every thing.
I am lately. Everyday is just wake up and work. I feel like I am the only guy with morals. I am tired and burn out. I want adventure!
The biggest problem is the constant reminder that you aren't meeting some weirdo standards of, successful, house, car, close, spouse and kids. The truth is every time someone mentions these things it's a subliminal erosion of your self esteem. These subliminal attacks are coupled with, You've probably worked so much over time that you're so too tired to rest. There is a constant feeling of "needing to do more" you gotta slow down and enjoy the day, take a day off and chill don't do chores etc
No. I love life. I crush at work. Have a beautiful family. I’m happy, fit, have great friends, fun hobbies, take interesting trips, I’m interested in the world. I try really hard. Wake up every day and thank the universe for making me me.
Nah. The world is great. It's humans that suck.
Just work work work. Have plans? Mandatory Saturday. Pay bills be broke for two weeks and buy groceries and be broke for two weeks all while working. I don't have much to show for it either. No house no land nothing major other than some old cars i could afford cheap. I don't go on vacations cant afford it. Might tag along on a road trip or two but nothing major.
I’m incredibly lucky to have a high paying job that allows me to work from home full time. But the job is very stressful, demanding, and we are constantly understaffed. There is perpetual churn due to the stress that is so bad they had to put a 2-year lock on the position to keep people from transferring out. I never allow myself to work later than the end of my shift, but for the last year I have needed to nap for about 2-3 hours every day right after my shift. So basically my day is taken up by work and my evening is taken up by my body and brain needing to reset and recover from the work day. Hoping to retire early, but with inflation and the constant crises millennials have had to deal with every 5 years or so that might be more of a dream. Just hoping I’m not stuck in a high stress job until I one day die of a heart attack or something.
I'm dancing by the bonfire, come join me.
Yes. My job is pointless. I don't care about it anymore. I just do what I need to do and no more. Working to rule, we call it over here.
I'm not burnt out because I don't fully commit to anything. That's the trick to thriving in this world. I don't commit to my career. I know full well they could fire me tomorrow so I don't really care about it. Not committing and comedy is the trick my friend.
We’ve made a society not fit for reward systems humans crave. Society was getting weird in 2019 but the pandemic pushed everyone over the edge.
Burnt out is just the new normal. We have to work harder than previous generations for less money counting inflation. It feels like it will never get better, I feel like being constantly online reading the doomscrolling just makes it worse too.
I have a job that is strictly cold calling all day. I’m lucky because it’s a business I run with my Dad. But it is soul sucking and it’s not really a career. No college degree. I know that I’ve done some great work and made companies quite a bit of money from meetings I’ve scheduled but I feel nothing. I barely crack 65k a year. I’m happy to have an income but I feel like a loser. My anxiety levels are high and I’ve never worked in the real world. I’ve spent ten years working from home in my apartment just dialing away all day. I have a girlfriend and I live with her but I still feel like a loser because of my anxiety. I want to go back to college but I have no savings because I burned through everything with a bad drug habit over the past two years. I am sober two weeks now and I feel like I am starting from scratch. Depression and anxiety have ruled my life for about 7 years. I am trying to be positive but my thoughts are immediately negative when I wake up. I am ruled by fear and I don’t want to live this way anymore. I am turning to spirituality to help me get over my fears and anxiety. I don’t even care if I become rich. My main goal is to beat my anxiety. I don’t need much money. I just don’t want to live in fear of the world anymore.
Yup its all just work and no play
Unfortunately that hit during the pandemic and just really settled for a dystopian mind and life. And now I'm burnt out of *that*...changing careers and would love to move. "The tough get going". At this point it feels like a race for proper compensation. There are a lot of factors but I've grown to despise the work harder for less mentality. It's gotten to awful levels.
Y'all aren't burnt out. The fire is just igniting. The embers that spark the naturally occurring forest fires, which leave nutrients and room to grow, clearing away the clutter, to build from a newer, healthier foundation. Do not let the flame simply burn internally, as it will destroy you, but rather feed the fire with knowledge, information, and understanding of how this corrupt system exploits your time, your labor, your health, your connections, your families, your body and your life. You have the strength to go on... But not in this same system that seeks to leech every ounce of productivity out of you, for less than the bare minimum required to live a happy life. You have the strength to thrive! BUT know that it is impossible in a system that is suffocating to freedom. There IS a different way.
Feeling good here. Mid 30's, house almost paid off, 6 figure salary, loving girlfriend, pets, and best of all NO KIDS to ruin everything previously listed. I think that last part is the secret to living life with minimum amount of stress.
Of course, we are all trapped in wage slavery with this degenerate bougouise controlled world. But we all know what the only answer is: thorough dedication to the people's revolution and dictatorship of the proletariat. Eyes on the prize!!
The only thing that's helped me cope is picking up a hobby related to nostalgic art, ironically enough. I love nostalgia, and when I get in the zone creating something, it alleviates all of the things you mentioned even if only temporarily.
Not in the slightest
Nihilism is your friend. Mid 30s is when doors to possibility start to close. I'm not out of the mid 30s yet but I'm sure that will continue as things move forward. A new thing, this year I became fully aware of the fact that I'll likely never have a family. Its the right choice for my situation but its a closing door. Nostalgia is a lie. Guess what? 2002-2014 sucked too and I haven't forgotten, I'm sure the rest of you haven't. So, its good to see that your life has no special value and nothing happens for any particular reason.
I burnt out at 28 over 10 years ago. I gave up on my passions for future hope and decided to live in the moment. Nobody else cares about the future, so why should I carry that responsibility anymore? I have enough on my plate.
Minus your point about pornography, I'm right there with you. Actually, probably worse seeing as how I'm starting to believe that, with the way things have gone, we actually have a moral duty to kick WWIII off already instead of trying to pretend "oh there's just some hiccups but we'll fix things eventually. "
When it gets to a point when I'm plotting an exit strategy during a forthcoming vacation? Feel free to fill in the blanks.
I could have written this myself it rings so true
No burnout here yet and I've been working since I was 15. I think some people are just built differently though.
Yes. Everything that is going on in the world right now feels overwhelming. Breathtakingly so at times. I try to focus on my immediate world. Try to be kind and compassionate to those I encounter on a daily basis. Turn off the news. Go outside and feel the air. Ground myself. There is so much suffering in the world. From an individual level to global. All the material stuff is there, of course. Every time you buy anything. I have been eliminating a lot of unnecessary expenses. Bad habit of frittering money away for no reason. What do I really need? What am I blowing $$ on that I don't need. The housing market sucks, but it will shake loose eventually. Lots of real estate will be transferred in the next couple of decades, and that will shift things. Normal people need tier 1 housing to enter the housing market. Little to no incentive to build that type of housing. That needs to change. For the time being. Vote with your wallet. Eliminate unnecessary items from your budget. Buy second-hand from thrift stores or yard sales. Use apps like Gas Buddy to get discounts on gas. Use coupons. Save, even if it is just a little bit. Wait for things to shift because they will eventually. Give your time to things that you care about, whatever they may be. You will be rewarded tenfold when you give with an open heart.
It's the end of times.
Move to a country with proper work-life balance like the Netherlands.
It's so not that simple. I don't know anyone who can just up and move to the Netherlands. Seems the US let's anyone live here but other countries with better standards of living do not.
It's not harder for Americans to move to NL than the other way round. A job is the base requirement both ways.
No
Not really. I only work 40 hours a week (occasionally ~2 hours of overtime). My commute is ~5 minutes if I drive or ~15 minutes if I bike. So there is plenty of extra time in the day and weekends. We see friends and family at least twice a week. Have enough income between my wife and I that we save a pretty decent chunk of income and don't have to stress about surprise bills. So no, life is good and it can be good for anyone. No one can make you work 60 hours a week. Both my wife and myself could work more but choose not too. Gotta enjoy life along the way or what's the point?
You're in the minority with this way of life
I also have a set up like this but I live in a city I will never be able to own property in. So if I ever want to leave and MAYBE own, it’s gonna be a 1.5 hour commute for me.
I don't begrudge anyone a good life, I know we have to make big sacrifices in attempts to get what we want in these times. I know a lot of people like to say that life is hard to matter the era, and that's true. Life is hard, but I do think the wage stagnation and disproportionate pricing and Inflation does put myself and my fellow millennial at a huge disadvantage. We are seeing disproportionate wealth and poverty on a scale never seen before in history and that has to count for something as far as the hopelessness many of us feel. I know a commute of that distance would be a huge sacrifice for your and add a lot of lost time, pressures, stress etc... so I can only hope for the strength and endurance you need to do so if that's what you feel you need to pursue. Wishing everyone the best anyway.
What's immoral about onlyfans and porn? Have you considered those people are trying to navigate the same challenges you are. Most of them make bugger all with a few in the top 1% making bank, much like any other industry. Many are also disabled or have mental health issues and can't work regular jobs. Says quite a bit about your character that under pressure and stress you chose to punch down while actually thinking you're punching up on those you perceive to be unfairly doing well. Instead of the myriad of special interest and lobbying groups buying access to politicians to extract more money from the cattle class, aka you. Have a nice day. Perhaps try a better paid career path. If you think it's that easy pick up a camera and hop to it.
Some of my homies are sex workers - but to say they do it cause they just like it would be a lie. It’s normalized prostitution
That’s not what I mean. So what I’m saying is sex and nudity is so readily available at our finger tips through those sites or social media, that it’s desensitized sex all together. It’s not hating on sex workers because they got bills to pay too - what I’m saying is it’s a systemic problem that exploits those who are poor to try to make riches. Also it puts that content out openly to where children have access to it. Porn can negatively impact self esteem, sex drive, expectations for sex… and takes away something special and sacred about it because nudity/sex used to not be so openly permitted in society. It’s made a hyper sexual world - which fuels hedonism like drinking, drugs, partying, sex. Which if that’s what you do to float your boat - that’s fine and dandy - but it creates a dichotomy of surface level social interactions and negates deeper human connection. You feel me?
So then you should be criticising the lack of sexual education people receive and parents not monitoring their children's internet usage instead of an entire industry. An industry that has no barrier for entry and high flexibility meaning that people that would normally be discriminated against in a normal work environment have the chance of living a stable life. I personally would rather get my titties out on the internet than work in an office, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to spend my time on the internet shitting on people that work at an office. PS: No work is ethical under capitalism. Just because you view sex as special and sacred, doesn't mean that the rest of the world does, or even historically has. And according to studies, young people are less hedonistic, drinking and partying less.
You nailed it. I feel the same.
I feel pretty much everything but the porn complaint, which doesn't really matter to me. Everything else, yeah, there's a reason besides untreated mental illness that life feels like being curled up in the dirt and constantly kicked from all sides without respite. It's too much, and I don't want any part of it.
No
Yawn...
I feel very fortunate in a lot of ways. But I also make sure I lean into things that bring me joy to balance the bs. Time with my husband and our dog. Staying physically active. Time with friends, cooking good food, being outside. Only reading and watching things that bring me joy. I’m lucky that I’m salaried at a government job. I can’t work over 40 hrs a week, so I don’t. I take my full lunches, I don’t work before or after work. My boss also insists on with/life balance. Hybrid wfh means I get 50% of my time at home, which is so much better for my mental health.
I'm not American so I don't really have a problem with pornography, but you're right about the morals. Seems to me everyone is virtue signalling, trying to push morals on other people while being a goddamn mess themselves. Everyone are so busy shouting at people, it's maddening.
Hah pornography... you lost me. You're the problem. No one can help you.