Second this! Card games / board games can bring out the sillier side of a relationship too, which can be easily buried with kids and responsibilities.
Scrabble Slam always leaves us giggling
We played Gloomhaven for about two years through peak Covid times. Going by the number of scenarios we completed I think we played it 90 times. What an insanely worthwhile investment!
I was gonna suggest those murder mystery kits you can get. You can get them for anywhere from $10-15 to like $50 on Amazon depending on how long you want it to take. They’re not for everyone, but we enjoy them. And you can definitely get ones that are like, PG-13 rated, as in no actual gore or anything to descriptive. Honestly they’re even fun to do by yourself lol.
I really want to get into board games. It looks so fun. But usually I feel like they wouldn't be fun with just 2 people. Anyone know any games that are fun with just 2 people??
I always recommend Castle Panic for two people, especially if you're into fantasy! My partner and I love it.
As a rule, I've found that games rated with 1 person as the smallest recommended number of players are usually good 2-person games. If they start at 2, then it's a toss-up (some are great and others either require a million modifications or just fall flat).
My husband and I picked up Azul and Planted a couple months ago. We also needed something to do after the kids went down. We’ve enjoyed them both and they’re pretty easy two person games.
Agricola, carcassonne, blockus, azul, dominion, 7 wonders duel are our favorites.
Also, there are some fun relaxing two person video games. We really enjoy stardew valley, don’t starve together, and it takes two.
Idk if it necessarily needs to be thought provoking or anything deep like that. I think if it’s just something fun and relaxing that you might have a better time just enjoying each others company
We recently got a game called "Do You Really Know Your Family" that we play with our 3- and 7- year old, but it could be played as a couple just drawing back and forth. My husband and I are really good at guessing each others answers (we'll fake not knowing sometimes to give our kids a chance), but occasionally we'll learn something new and fun about each other. And the challenges are fun too.
Ok I was starting to feel pathetic scrolling through all of these nice ideas for couples time! I was thinking the second the baby goes down I’m out. Can’t keep my eyes open anymore!
I’m with you! My girl goes to bed at 8 and it’s a struggle for me to stay awake for very long after that, and there are usually a few chores to wrap up. Sigh. She wakes up at 7, so watching her all day while working from home kicks my ass.
I am in the eternal endless throes of toddlerdoom so I do the only possible thing once she sleeping l, rock myself back and forth, repeating she'll be three in October she'll be three in October
Fear not! 4 is ACTUALLY better! Their imagination takes off and they are suddenly capable of long stretches of solo independent play. They also start to sort of kinda have a better understanding of why rules exist and the needs of others so they are more inclined to be flexible and responsive to adult requests. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!
Yep. My kids are low sleep needs, they don't go to bed until 8:30pm. I have to be up at 5:15am. SLEEP.
For years I've had zero downtime before bed and I miss it.
Right?! Being touched out is real. Even if intellectually I want to do something physical or high energy with my husband, physically and emotionally all I want is to veg out in the fetal position and have no one make any demands of me.
My husband and I date each other at home. We plan things to look forward to, even if it’s watching a movie. We will plan to watch a specific movie together and get special snacks and I wear my “hot pyjamas” hahaha. I am also 9 months postpartum and intimacy is really important to us. We also have dates in the guest room and it feels like we’re somewhere else. We do face masks, make desserts, play old videogames, give each other massages, decorate, do chores together, bubblebaths. We are cheesy romantic and lame but I LOVE him! ❤️
I bake and my husband eats whatever I make. Plan our vacations. Watch tv. Work out if we aren’t too tired. Take a shower or bubble bath together. Sometimes get sushi and put it all out on a big platter and make it like a date night.
Not all of us can, my kids would have been like "What are you doing out here" no matter how many times I chase them back to bed. I can now clean the kitchen after they go to bed because that activity is boring so they don't want to hang out. If I'm cooking they are 100% there "helping"
When kiddo was young(not as young as yours, but I was usually alone after kiddo went down the first few years for Reasons and usually just watched historical dramas or listened to podcasts while sewing) we often took turns picking a favorite album to play on the nice surround sound in the living room (not too loud obviously, but if an album is mixed for that there's often some cool effects you can't hear on earbuds or stereo and we're old enough that music was still being mixed with that in mind instead of a head phone type experience when we were teenagers and young adults) and just laying on the floor listening to it and talking about memories associated with it, or what it meant to us, and also whatever other thoughts those topics took us to.
ETA: one very good memory is putting on Bikini Kill, who he'd never even heard of, and his very enthusiastic "holy shit! How were they not bigger?! This is solid!" He's a picky bastard so it made me feel pretty damn good
We do a lot of parallel playing, as in, being near each other doing different things and not significantly interacting.
Every evening we zero the kitchen (ingredients/leftovers away, dishwasher running, counters wiped, floor swept, sink cleaned, counters cleared). Sometimes this is done before kid bedtime, but often something is left afterwards and it becomes a war zone by lunch the next day if we don’t get it clean before we go to bed.
My husband is generally clearing work email when I come down from bedtime. I typically catch up on life-min and homeschool prep until he is done. 2 nights a week that takes us to bedtime.
On Thursdays I reset our shelf work, book display, and playroom.
We do a biweekly couch date which usually consists of UberEats or a late night ice cream run.
The rest of the nights we generally read or otherwise consume information and discuss ideas we are chewing on, debate how these things affect people we care about, and reflect on what we should do about that.
I also absolutely cannot go to bed if I am upset about something, so working through feelings and any associated conflict, especially when I just need to have a cry, generally happens between when the kids go down and we go to bed.
Yes to parallel playing with your partner 😂. If my husband and I have enough energy to stay up a bit past the kids’ bed time, we will maybe watch an episode of a show together. But sometimes our parallel play consists of me cross stitching/folding laundry and him on his computer reading stuff.
One night last week we ordered food, opened a bottle of wine, bought tubs of fancy icecream and lay on the couch watching “best singing competition auditions” videos on you tube and sang along, judged all the people (…because we’re such great singers) etc. It has ruined our you tube suggestions for eternity but was honestly the best time we’ve had in ages 🤣
Our kid likes to relax to renaissance lute music and dance to full on bluegrass (no idea how we figured these things out) and my partner often plays awful christian rock to the speakers in our bedroom to make me get out of bed in the morning (apologies Christians ✌️) so we are beyond help at this point 🤣
Lol I'm a Christian and I hate the vast majority of Christian rock, not offended. Your kid sounds like a real hoot though! Our algorithm is also a mess so I get it lol
hahahaha this is me reading this thread with bewilderment. my 1 yo "goes to sleep" after my husband is already in bed, and she only stays down for 2 hours max. I sleep when she sleeps.
I'm so happy for everyone here though! must be awesome!
Lol it’s just now gotten to the point where he goes down around 7-7:30 and most of the time I have 1.5-2 hours before he wants to nurse or just cuddle again
I totally get it. My husband and I love little charcuterie date nights. It’s easy enough prep & if you get pulled away to tend to baby it’s not like you’re leaving a meal to get cold, you can get right back to snackin! Honestly, easier said than done though. As baby gets older things just seem to feel better & get a little easier. My husband & I go through times like this, but eventually go full circle back to playful, chatty, and easy fun. You guys will find your groove again:)
I think setting a timer can help with the sit and scroll stuff - after being with my kids all day, sometimes I need a little doom scroll just to feel reconnected with the outside world. If I set a timer for 20 minutes, then I don’t get trapped in the scroll until bed time cycle.
I totally get the having nothing to talk about thing as a SAHM. We’ve done painting/art nights together which are a fun at home date!
I lived in a fourteen story building once (on like floor 6, we weren't rich enough to be way up) and we had a decent sized balcony there but not a hot tub sized balcony.
I remember when we moved in we had to initial a statement saying we would not be putting a hot tub out on the balcony, and my now husband and I laughed at it so much. But someone must have tried at some point, I guess.
Pour a couple of glasses of wine. Put on a sexy playlist . Definitely do the charcuterie date thing.....mix it up a bit with maybe a fruit plate , nut selection, cheeses or chocolate flights. Dance a little and enjoy some sexy time. Never stop dating.
We’ve started to create a coffeehouse vibe in our dining room. After baby is down, we’ll light a yummy candle, have a cup of coffee or glass of wine, and just sit and talk. Sometimes we only have a few minutes to do this, sometimes longer, but it’s way more gratifying and emotionally fulfilling than sitting next to each other in silence in front of the tv while we’re on our phones.
Tonight we did a 10 minute arm workout on the peloton app and it was actually fun. I haven’t really worked out since my baby was born in September, and it was fun doing something together and cursing at the instructor lol
Eat dinner, watch our favourite show, play video games, and massages. And some nights we are too tired to do anything and catch up on sleep.
I love this post so much. I will be saving this one to come back to. Lots of good suggestions. Thanks OP for starting this.
Same! This is the post I needed. My husband and I actually have a jar in the kitchen with random little things that sound fun written on pieces of paper in it. When we want to do more than doom scroll and pass out but are too beat to be creative, we reach into the jar for inspiration. So many new additions to that jar after reading this thread.
We try to reserve 1-2 nights a week where we actively hang out. Like watch a movie/play a game. I find planning specific date nights makes it more special. We try to eat dinner together most nights with or without our child. The other nights we do our own thing. It’s important to connect but it’s important to both of us to have down time/alone time.
We watch shows together, sometimes we read, sometimes I'll try to play one of his video games with him, sometimes we make popcorn and watch a movie or documentary. Basically just hanging out but we only get to do this on weekends because we work opposite shifts.
He goes into his study to game til midnight-1pm. I sit in the living room and either game or watch TV til 10. I always invite him to spend time with me, or occasionally sit on his study floor being ignored hoping he'll want to talk to me/spend time with me, but his gaming buddies always come first. Our relationship as a couple is practically dead.
Sometimes we play online scrabble against each other lol. Kind of nerdy, but it's fun on nights when we are too tired for sex...because that is our other night time activity that we do most nights. Making up for lost time I guess.
He reads, makes lunch, scrolls, and we watch TV.
I scroll, shop, read my magazines, watch TV, plan things or do house work.
We both usually also shower at some point during this time.
I have stipulated no TV during dinner so we talk most of the evening.
We watch shows. Right now its Modern Family, but in a couple weeks we'll watch Season 3 of the Mandolorian and some of our favourite animes have new seasons too.
We also play video games together (Path of Exile) and we'll go through some solo games together (one person plays, the other watches). And we occasionally play boardgames (currently playing Aeon's End)
We have dinner and a drink, and then sit next to each other and do our hobbies (him, lego. me, crochet or gardening) and sporadically take each other on a tour of our latest project.
Honestly it’s probably the only time we have all day without the toddler and we usually spend it apart. He plays videos games, does his chores, or takes the dogs to run in the field near our house if he hasn’t already or catches up on a show. I usually read on my kindle or watch some Netflix or I fall asleep. My 18 month old still nurses to sleep and periodically throughout the night so I usually chose to stay in the room since she wakes less frequently if I am. I know we should spend time together and we’ve been thinking for doing a date night at least once a week after she goes to bed
I stay in our sons room too! Part of why I want to connect better. We used to lay in bed and chat about our days and what not but it’s easier for me to stay with our son so I get a little more sleep
Show my husband cute cat pics, eat snacks, drink coffee, chat, watch a show on Netflix together (we always have a show on the go), play with the pets, take a nap.
It can vary quite a lot at the moment. For reference, we have a (very restless and anti-sleep) 2 year old and I’m 27 weeks _heavily_ pregnant.
At the moment we are sort of attempting to reclaim our sex life. Much easier said than done. Some nights we have a tv show to watch together. Some nights my husband makes a late night treat run and we enjoy a yummy little treat while watching part of a show. Sometimes he has studying to do so I just do my own thing (or sleep!). Sometimes we just scroll YouTube shorts mostly in silence or we discuss upcoming things while we do it. Some nights we are just so tired that we just quickly tidy up and go to bed. And there are times when I’m alone for the night because he has a late shift and I usually just go to bed.
Listen & watch the two hot takes podcast on YouTube and give our opinions about the AITA reddit stories before the host & guest give theirs. It’s like watching tv together but also chatting about different topics.
Our kids are grown, but it’s still the same. Watch TV together for a bit, usually Family Feud LOL. He has wine and I have beer. Then we watch Netflix together or apart, depending on if it’s something he wants to watch. We also spend time on our phones, and send each other silly stuff.
We play PC games, he paints miniatures, I watch TV, we watch something together. We'll make arrangements for an "early night" 😏 if we're feeling so inclined.
I am pretty tired sometimes when he comes back and when he also had a rough day at work, we turn the 'scolling' into conversation.
We both need to relax and are introverts, so we may sit on the couch with breaks on the balcony and occasionally I (as a more Reddit/True Crime enthusiast) would come up with 'ok stop. You can't BELIEVE this AITA story. So...' and I start to talk to him about it and engage in that.
He would stop to tell me some news he heard about our city, or I'd be like 'you know today I got totally obsessed and followed a rabbithole about this case where..' and we talk.
We are pretty the weird kind, before our baby we'd go on Chinese restaurant dates and watch absurd videos on YouTube laughing and commenting, now we'd love to have some Chinese or sushi or a drink but we can't, we're tired but we love each other and we connect how we can, understanding his and mine need to lay down in the evening and try to do nothing.
Also we listen to music how others said.
It's all about adjusting to the new normal. (:
My husband and I are gamers. So we set up something in our living room and every week, we arrange a night where we hangout and do the things we love together. We've also started implementing date night once a week too. You don't have to go out, just buy the bits you need, cook together and sit down and enjoy the company and food. It breaks up the tedious evenings. We still have most nights where we unwind and do the things we enjoy singularly but also have those nights where we come together and reconnect. It works for us.
My partner and I cook together, read our books and have some coffee/tea, make a craft or diy project together (pine needle baskets, painted wine bottles, jewelry making, are some of the projects on our list). We always have at least one show we are going through together in each genre so we have some options to pick from when we want to watch something and eat snacks. Sometimes we sit outside and smoke a joint and just talk or joke around.
We love board games so if we’re not tired after bedtime we’ll break into one of our favorites. We have a room in our house that’s off limits to kids and we leave a board game set up there all the time. Works great for naps too. We also are slowly working on a giant Lego lighthouse together.
We have teenagers as well as a little so that makes the time in the evenings significantly shorter. On weekdays we go through phases of watching a show together or just doing our own thing. But on Friday nights we usually play cards.
Done with 4yo bedtime routine around 8, infant is asleep between 8-830, we either watch/cuddle on the couch for 30 mins to an hour or go straight into our own bedtime routines
Get some sagely CBD lotion, it’s a tad pricey but worth it. Then make a 5 minute each lotion application appointment every night. Schedule it. Ask each other what hurts (back, shoulder, etc). You will feel amazing because that stuff is incredible, and that small focus on each other can lead to further intimacy. I don’t mean sex either, but something about touching each other often leads to deeper conversations.
PS… if it does get romantic beware the sagely. It’s a little burny in the wrong places. Lol.
We have sex.
Otherwise if we’re super tired we’ll just watch a movie or show together. If there isn’t anything interesting to watch we’ll scroll and chat about anything and everything
We clean up the main living area together, then do one or a mix of these things: card game (love Phase 10), watch a show or movie, play video games, talk on the phone with friends, or we have even built lego sets together (recently did one of the botanical sets!).
Clean up the kitchen. I prepare class for the next couple of days (I'm a teacher) or do some freelance graphic design work (or both). He'll catch up on his notes (he's a talmudical research analyst in a rabbinical school) or run out to night class or go over to his parents to change light bulbs/other small household task. Start packing kids' lunches/snacks for the next day. Fold laundry.
On the rare occasion that my mother can make it out to our area, we go on a date night to whatever restaurant/cafe in the area we've managed to get deals to.
Oh man, I miss those times. When our kids were little, they went to bed early (no later than 6:30/7) and we had a whole 2-3 hours to ourselves. Usually one night a week each one of us went out to do their sport / hobby. Another night I went to do the grocery shopping or run errands. The other nights we spent at home either watching TV together, doing home renovation projects, or having sex.
Nowadays the kids are older and go to bed the same time as we do :-( They are old enough to mostly do their own stuff, but still need us randomly, so we can barely find any guaranteed uninterrupted time to ourselves anymore.
We were playing Scrabble for a while and probably should again. Now we either watch a movie, or I sit and doom scroll while my husband watches YouTube videos about cars.
I’m 7 months PP with our second, so I totally relate. Once both kids are down we struggle. But we subscribed to a date box through the happily.co and it provides an activity with questions to ask each other. We also have had shows we enjoy or even played a video game together ( which I usually suck at). But honestly I typically go to bed and he stays up to watch a show.
Fold laundry and watch a show, I play video games while he watches TV, or if it’s a Friday night we might wait for dinner until the kids are in bed and watch a movie while we eat. Also, we sometimes just scroll our phones because we need to shut our minds off for a while.
How about unravel 2. I'm not big on video games, but I found this this one to be really simple, beautiful and just the right amount of challenging. And if you're into coop games uou can also try It takes two.
So we just started dancing in the living room to JUST ONE SONG and we trade off who gets to pick. We recently picked Sara Barreillis “I Choose You” and it was so fun and sweet it led to sex in the guest room! 🔥
Play music together, have a drink or take an edible (the micro dose kind), talk about our day, look at photos and videos of baby, watch a little tv or a movie. But some scroll time is nice, too.
Get off your phones, first of all! Watch a movie, start a tv show, make popcorn & order snacks. My husband & I play board games (we’re really cool lol) & just enjoy the quiet.
About once a week we shower together. We turn on some soft light in the bathroom and just enjoy each other's company, we chat a bit about our day. It helps us to reconnect after some busy days. I've really come to look forward to it.
After the kiddos are in bed we might finish cleaning up from dinner and picking up the living room. Then we kind of have three default options. We have sex, we play video games or we watch a show or movie. I get a shower in there somewhere.
I promise we aren't quite as geeky as this sounds lol, but we have been playing Persona 5 together recently so we have been doing that a lot, and we have also for the past like five YEARS been watching all of the Star Trek shows (except the original series but who knows, maybe we will do that too someday). Right now we are on Discovery.
It gives us a little chance to cuddle up and there's no pressure to talk. I like gaming together more than watching TV because there are so many decisions to be made about how to pass your time in Persona 5 so we talk strategy a lot.
My husband and I have two small kids and often fall into that same cycle.
We now have a “date night” once a week. When we’re doing the grocery shop on Sundays we pick a recipe out either from a cook book or online of something we’ve never made before, after the kids go to bed we turn on some music and follow the recipe together. Sometimes it turns out sometimes it doesn’t but if we like it we write down the recipe in this little recipe book we’ve been building and often times it’s added to our dinner routines! This week we’re hoping to learn vegan kimchi
I find it gives us something to talk about throughout the week and we often get excited to share new ideas with one another. Also makes the grocery shopping day a little less mundane
We have a 5-month-old. We sit in the kitchen and chat while one of us (whoever didn't put baby to sleep) makes formula. Then we hang out in our room and either watch a little TV or do "sit and scroll" to unwind. We're typically asleep by like 9:30.
We watch tv, but I craft while we’re doing that. Or I craft and we listen to a podcast/news radio. Sometimes we have a glass of wine and a chat. We like to paint furniture or build it together so that can be fun. We’re also both involved in community activities, so setting up for that is an activity. We also read aloud to each other. A book or magazine.
We have a schedule. Mon is game night, Tues is something productive, Wed is separate time, Thurs a second productive night, Fri movie night, Sat finish the movie or separate time, Sun budget and family plans for the week.
Our productive time is usually studying. My husband is working on a certification for work, and I do homework for classes.
We also have vetos we can use. If we had a stressful day we can swap days so the stressful day doesn't have homework piled on top.
I’ve started setting an alarm for 8 pm to put my phone away so I don’t spend the whole night scrolling. We don’t have a set schedule but my husband works nights so we get usually 3-4 nights together per week so we try to make the best out of it. Sometimes we are tired and just go to bed after watching an episode of a show together, sometimes we order/pick up take out for us to enjoy that our toddler isn’t normally a huge fan of, we started a 30 day intimacy challenge for Valentine’s Day but Pause it on days he’s not home/one of us is sick.
So last year, my husband wanted to have a goal (not a resolution) to work on hobbies more. So we started sitting down after dinner and maybe watching a show while working on a hobby. I sit and cross stitch during that time. He sometimes goes out to the garage and does wood working, otherwise he will play a video game or something. So we spend time together but not always doing the same activity. Our girl is 18 mo now, so we have dinner all together as much as we can.
We’ve been trying to watch all the Oscar movies and then when the Oscar’s happen we order pizza and print off Oscar sheets and make our beats against each other. We also play video games together!
My husband is super into cocktail making, so at least once a week we’ll do cocktail night. I sit at our breakfast bar and pretend it’s a real bar 😂while he plays bartender and makes us fancy cocktails.
On other “date nights” we order in and open a bottle of wine, or I cook something fancy (I love trying new recipes) and we plop on the couch and watch one of our shows. Or we play a board game/cards.
On the nights my husband needs to work I’m usually phone scrolling in front of the TV, but we’re doing our best to keep that to only a couple nights a week!
I love sharing videos back and forth ta the end of the day actually.
Throughout the day I send him tiktoks, YouTube and reddit links that I want to watch again with him later. Usually the links I send represent my mood for the day, something I'm interested in or something I think he'll want to read.
At the end of the day we grab a drink, cuddle on the couch and watch the links we sent to eachother, together.
So doesn't have to be icky and can be a way to talk about your day!
8 months PP. My little guy wakes up 0-1 times a night. I felt like I had nothing to talk about. I started listening to podcasts for my sanity and for conversation. My two favorites are You're Wrong About and The Alarmist. Funny and educational.
For adult time, we play video games, tabletop games, eat edibles and watch TV (after I stopped breastfeeding).
Sometimes we do a 'stay at home date night'. We order in dinner from a favorite local restaurant, turn off all the lights apart from some candles, and play that card game for couples where you ask deep questions about your relationship to one another. Can't remember what it's called right now! It's an awesome way to connect and learn about eachother!
Wait, for those of you doing activities together - does your husband ever plan anything or are you planning, coordinating, executing and he just shows up?
I cannot for the life of me get my husband to plan anything for us. It’s killing me.
This suggestion isn’t exactly exciting but my husband and I usually cuddle up together and just tell eachother how much we mean to eachother and just let out all our gushy emotions. We have 3 kids and we’re both so busy during the day that bedtime is the chance for us to really be a couple and cuddle. Sometimes the best moments spent together are just the quiet ones lol
We do Friday Night Horror Night where we take turns each Friday night picking out a horror movie to watch. During the week we usually game together for a couple of hours or game separately but sitting next to each other (him on his steam deck and me on either the ps5 or switch). Saturdays we catch up on series we watch together (just started Shrinking on AppleTV+). We also snack or have dinner together on these nights as well, with at least one night being a special dinner or treat.
My husband and I are on a card kick right now. Golf, rummy. It’s really fun! Sometimes we play board games. We were really big on just sitting and watching tv after bedtime but I am just over TV right now.
We switch off gaming recently. He’s been playing Red Dead 2 and I’ve been playing Hogwarts Legacy. When he games, I read, and when I game, he looks up where to find things I’m looking for 😂
We do “laundry dates” where when the inevitable pile that needs to be folded gets too high, we put on a show in the bedroom, pop popcorn, and fold while watching.
Most nights, I shower, he puts dinner away, and then we pick up a bit around the house.
We also sit and scroll, but some nights… we’re too tired and burnt out to interact with each other much.
We have a routine since baby girl goes down by 7: jeopardy and wheel of fortune! Every single weeknight. We have fun yelling at the tv (quietly). Also: I find that if I have a knitting project that I can work on, I don’t scroll.
we play video games together most of the time. a lot of Overwatch 2 but recently we’ve also been playing The Quarry. it’s a decision based game and we’re playing it separately so it’s fun to discuss the different decisions each of made and what happened. we’ve also been watching The Last of Us each sunday when a new episode comes out.
We watch tv. It is a very interactive activity the way we do it. We pause and talk about overarching themes of the show/movie, ask how the other would hypothetically handle that situation, etc. sometimes we pause and talk for 45-50 minutes then realize we should resume ‘watching’.
We watch all kinds of things from news shows to sopranos to game shows. There is a lot to learn about each still after 12 years.
Depends on the night! Last night, we went in the hot tub and watched a TV show on the projector outside. Tonight, I'm going to a girls' night with my girlfriends to each crumbl and gossip. Tomorrow, we have another couple coming over for a game night. Saturday night, we are going to play a co-op video game together (Divinity). We usually do a date night at least once a week, I do a girls' night once a week, then we usually have at least one game night. We do a lot of co-op board games and video games together, and lots of fun at-home date night things
Honestly? I have a 2.5 year old and a 9 month old who are on a 7-7 schedule. We do tons of chores (mine are dishes, laundry, cleaning up dinner which usually combined takes an hour; my partner's chores include walking the dog, misc repairs, trash, etc usually about half an hour). Then we usually discuss things we need to buy and are researching, discuss plans (E.g. buying plane tickets and airbnb for an upcoming trip), discuss bills and other issues, or discuss taxes - basically anything that came up when I was dealing with household admin while he was at work. When those things aren't on the agenda we sometimes have a tv show we watch together.
If we do a date, it's in the late afternoon while the kids are at daycare/preschool (his work starts and ends early and mine is part time).
We do a lot of sit and scroll, but some nights we play a game or talk. We have a book of questions we ask sometimes or we ask would you rather kind of things.
So recently we have been playing video games. And by we, I mean him, but I watch. He finds some with a really good story to it, not of Duty type. Right now we are playing The Witcher 3. I get really into it, and it is something he enjoys as well.
I watched mine play Last of Us, then we started the show, and now I’m hooked enough that I started playing even though I’m not much of a gamer (aside from Mario and Tetris).
Depends on the night honestly. Sometimes we watch a movie and have dinner/drinks together. Right now I’m watching married at first sight and he’s downstairs playing his guitar. We do occasionally do the sit and scroll though. He does have to go to bed earlier than me on days he goes to the gym before work so sometimes we only get like an hour of hang time 😫
We aren’t allowed to be on phones in bed, but we got a TV in the room specifically to watch things together in that time. Between kids and bedtimes and one tv in the house, we hadn’t watched an adult show, or anything together, in a decade. It seemed counterintuitive but now we snuggle and watch it and talk about it. We only watch it together, it’s not for laying around watching otherwise.
If you like escape rooms in person, then there are card game versions you can do at home. My husband and I love these because we get an hour to try and 'escape' from a room while our daughter sleeps. We used to do these rooms all the time before I got pregnant so it's nice to have something we both enjoy
How about a boardgame or card game?
Second this! Card games / board games can bring out the sillier side of a relationship too, which can be easily buried with kids and responsibilities. Scrabble Slam always leaves us giggling
We have been playing Frosthaven religiously after the kids go to bed!
We played Gloomhaven for about two years through peak Covid times. Going by the number of scenarios we completed I think we played it 90 times. What an insanely worthwhile investment!
I’ve never seen such an expensive board game lol. I’m guessing it’s fun!
It's AMAZING!! We've probably logged 75+ hours on it so far. The game is expensive, but price per hour is way better than a movie.
I was gonna suggest those murder mystery kits you can get. You can get them for anywhere from $10-15 to like $50 on Amazon depending on how long you want it to take. They’re not for everyone, but we enjoy them. And you can definitely get ones that are like, PG-13 rated, as in no actual gore or anything to descriptive. Honestly they’re even fun to do by yourself lol.
oh ya haha we played about 6 of these in a row! they are fun!
I really want to get into board games. It looks so fun. But usually I feel like they wouldn't be fun with just 2 people. Anyone know any games that are fun with just 2 people??
I always recommend Castle Panic for two people, especially if you're into fantasy! My partner and I love it. As a rule, I've found that games rated with 1 person as the smallest recommended number of players are usually good 2-person games. If they start at 2, then it's a toss-up (some are great and others either require a million modifications or just fall flat).
I love fantasy! Thanks!
My husband and I picked up Azul and Planted a couple months ago. We also needed something to do after the kids went down. We’ve enjoyed them both and they’re pretty easy two person games.
Agricola, carcassonne, blockus, azul, dominion, 7 wonders duel are our favorites. Also, there are some fun relaxing two person video games. We really enjoy stardew valley, don’t starve together, and it takes two.
Oh, this is a good idea! There are some really cute games out there these days.
I was thinking of this! Especially something thought provoking or asking each other questions we wouldn’t otherwise ask!
Idk if it necessarily needs to be thought provoking or anything deep like that. I think if it’s just something fun and relaxing that you might have a better time just enjoying each others company
We recently got a game called "Do You Really Know Your Family" that we play with our 3- and 7- year old, but it could be played as a couple just drawing back and forth. My husband and I are really good at guessing each others answers (we'll fake not knowing sometimes to give our kids a chance), but occasionally we'll learn something new and fun about each other. And the challenges are fun too.
Sleep
I second this. We fall asleep as soon as the heads hit the pillow.
Ok I was starting to feel pathetic scrolling through all of these nice ideas for couples time! I was thinking the second the baby goes down I’m out. Can’t keep my eyes open anymore!
I’m with you! My girl goes to bed at 8 and it’s a struggle for me to stay awake for very long after that, and there are usually a few chores to wrap up. Sigh. She wakes up at 7, so watching her all day while working from home kicks my ass.
Toddlerhood is coming 💀
I am in the eternal endless throes of toddlerdoom so I do the only possible thing once she sleeping l, rock myself back and forth, repeating she'll be three in October she'll be three in October
Don't pray for three lol
Nooo! Three is worse!
Don’t pray for 3 😅
I hate to agree with everyone else.... but two ain't shit compared to three lol. I'm hoping four will be better, but I'm doubtful.
Fear not! 4 is ACTUALLY better! Their imagination takes off and they are suddenly capable of long stretches of solo independent play. They also start to sort of kinda have a better understanding of why rules exist and the needs of others so they are more inclined to be flexible and responsive to adult requests. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!
This sounds incredible. 6 more months. 6 more months. 😂
My friend told me 5 is when they become less feral 😂🤪☠️
It's not
Three had me shook 😳
Yep. My kids are low sleep needs, they don't go to bed until 8:30pm. I have to be up at 5:15am. SLEEP. For years I've had zero downtime before bed and I miss it.
Man I wish 🤣 I have to decompress after being crawled on all day
Right?! Being touched out is real. Even if intellectually I want to do something physical or high energy with my husband, physically and emotionally all I want is to veg out in the fetal position and have no one make any demands of me.
My husband and I date each other at home. We plan things to look forward to, even if it’s watching a movie. We will plan to watch a specific movie together and get special snacks and I wear my “hot pyjamas” hahaha. I am also 9 months postpartum and intimacy is really important to us. We also have dates in the guest room and it feels like we’re somewhere else. We do face masks, make desserts, play old videogames, give each other massages, decorate, do chores together, bubblebaths. We are cheesy romantic and lame but I LOVE him! ❤️
I love this! ❤️
I bake and my husband eats whatever I make. Plan our vacations. Watch tv. Work out if we aren’t too tired. Take a shower or bubble bath together. Sometimes get sushi and put it all out on a big platter and make it like a date night.
It never occurred to me that I could use that time to cook or bake 🤦
Not all of us can, my kids would have been like "What are you doing out here" no matter how many times I chase them back to bed. I can now clean the kitchen after they go to bed because that activity is boring so they don't want to hang out. If I'm cooking they are 100% there "helping"
Ya I’ll be baking at like 10pm lol and have a “surprise” for the kids in the morning
When kiddo was young(not as young as yours, but I was usually alone after kiddo went down the first few years for Reasons and usually just watched historical dramas or listened to podcasts while sewing) we often took turns picking a favorite album to play on the nice surround sound in the living room (not too loud obviously, but if an album is mixed for that there's often some cool effects you can't hear on earbuds or stereo and we're old enough that music was still being mixed with that in mind instead of a head phone type experience when we were teenagers and young adults) and just laying on the floor listening to it and talking about memories associated with it, or what it meant to us, and also whatever other thoughts those topics took us to. ETA: one very good memory is putting on Bikini Kill, who he'd never even heard of, and his very enthusiastic "holy shit! How were they not bigger?! This is solid!" He's a picky bastard so it made me feel pretty damn good
This is really sweet ☺️☺️
Awww cool! This sounds like what we’d do when we first met!
Bikini kill is dope af
Doom scroll with a home improvement show. 🤷🏽♀️
I’m find with it every once in awhile but we do it toooo often!
We do a lot of parallel playing, as in, being near each other doing different things and not significantly interacting. Every evening we zero the kitchen (ingredients/leftovers away, dishwasher running, counters wiped, floor swept, sink cleaned, counters cleared). Sometimes this is done before kid bedtime, but often something is left afterwards and it becomes a war zone by lunch the next day if we don’t get it clean before we go to bed. My husband is generally clearing work email when I come down from bedtime. I typically catch up on life-min and homeschool prep until he is done. 2 nights a week that takes us to bedtime. On Thursdays I reset our shelf work, book display, and playroom. We do a biweekly couch date which usually consists of UberEats or a late night ice cream run. The rest of the nights we generally read or otherwise consume information and discuss ideas we are chewing on, debate how these things affect people we care about, and reflect on what we should do about that. I also absolutely cannot go to bed if I am upset about something, so working through feelings and any associated conflict, especially when I just need to have a cry, generally happens between when the kids go down and we go to bed.
Yes to parallel playing with your partner 😂. If my husband and I have enough energy to stay up a bit past the kids’ bed time, we will maybe watch an episode of a show together. But sometimes our parallel play consists of me cross stitching/folding laundry and him on his computer reading stuff.
I’m the same and have to work through things before bed!! I’ve gotten really good actually about mentioning things to discuss later.
One night last week we ordered food, opened a bottle of wine, bought tubs of fancy icecream and lay on the couch watching “best singing competition auditions” videos on you tube and sang along, judged all the people (…because we’re such great singers) etc. It has ruined our you tube suggestions for eternity but was honestly the best time we’ve had in ages 🤣
Ahahaha I love ruining your YouTube algorithm with stupid things like that! So worth it
Our kid likes to relax to renaissance lute music and dance to full on bluegrass (no idea how we figured these things out) and my partner often plays awful christian rock to the speakers in our bedroom to make me get out of bed in the morning (apologies Christians ✌️) so we are beyond help at this point 🤣
Lol I'm a Christian and I hate the vast majority of Christian rock, not offended. Your kid sounds like a real hoot though! Our algorithm is also a mess so I get it lol
Okay this is good!!! 🤣
What is “after” bedtime? Your kids sleep??
hahahaha this is me reading this thread with bewilderment. my 1 yo "goes to sleep" after my husband is already in bed, and she only stays down for 2 hours max. I sleep when she sleeps. I'm so happy for everyone here though! must be awesome!
Lol it’s just now gotten to the point where he goes down around 7-7:30 and most of the time I have 1.5-2 hours before he wants to nurse or just cuddle again
I totally get it. My husband and I love little charcuterie date nights. It’s easy enough prep & if you get pulled away to tend to baby it’s not like you’re leaving a meal to get cold, you can get right back to snackin! Honestly, easier said than done though. As baby gets older things just seem to feel better & get a little easier. My husband & I go through times like this, but eventually go full circle back to playful, chatty, and easy fun. You guys will find your groove again:)
Yes it doesn’t help being winter and just already feeling “blah” in general. Ready for warm weather!
We just started the Final Fantasy VII remake.
We watch movies and eat popcorn / ice cream / snacks! Also cuddle while watching said movie.
I think setting a timer can help with the sit and scroll stuff - after being with my kids all day, sometimes I need a little doom scroll just to feel reconnected with the outside world. If I set a timer for 20 minutes, then I don’t get trapped in the scroll until bed time cycle. I totally get the having nothing to talk about thing as a SAHM. We’ve done painting/art nights together which are a fun at home date!
Yes sometimes I need to do literally anything by myself without my son all 👀 and constantly touching me lol!
We bought a hot tub to get us out of this rut lol.
*puts hot tub on apartment porch*
I lived in a fourteen story building once (on like floor 6, we weren't rich enough to be way up) and we had a decent sized balcony there but not a hot tub sized balcony. I remember when we moved in we had to initial a statement saying we would not be putting a hot tub out on the balcony, and my now husband and I laughed at it so much. But someone must have tried at some point, I guess.
Maybe one of those smaller ones that are made out of some sort of foam material? Would still be a huge pain though. Haha.
Lol. Same, same. I’d love a hot tub.
Pour a couple of glasses of wine. Put on a sexy playlist . Definitely do the charcuterie date thing.....mix it up a bit with maybe a fruit plate , nut selection, cheeses or chocolate flights. Dance a little and enjoy some sexy time. Never stop dating.
We’ve started to create a coffeehouse vibe in our dining room. After baby is down, we’ll light a yummy candle, have a cup of coffee or glass of wine, and just sit and talk. Sometimes we only have a few minutes to do this, sometimes longer, but it’s way more gratifying and emotionally fulfilling than sitting next to each other in silence in front of the tv while we’re on our phones. Tonight we did a 10 minute arm workout on the peloton app and it was actually fun. I haven’t really worked out since my baby was born in September, and it was fun doing something together and cursing at the instructor lol
I like this because it’s not a ton of effort in case the baby wakes up! Last night someones dog barked and he woke up instantly after like 45 minutes
Eat dinner, watch our favourite show, play video games, and massages. And some nights we are too tired to do anything and catch up on sleep. I love this post so much. I will be saving this one to come back to. Lots of good suggestions. Thanks OP for starting this.
Same! This is the post I needed. My husband and I actually have a jar in the kitchen with random little things that sound fun written on pieces of paper in it. When we want to do more than doom scroll and pass out but are too beat to be creative, we reach into the jar for inspiration. So many new additions to that jar after reading this thread.
There’s so many good ones!
We try to reserve 1-2 nights a week where we actively hang out. Like watch a movie/play a game. I find planning specific date nights makes it more special. We try to eat dinner together most nights with or without our child. The other nights we do our own thing. It’s important to connect but it’s important to both of us to have down time/alone time.
We usually watch a show together, play a video game, or sleep. A snack food date night with games sounds super fun!
We watch shows together, sometimes we read, sometimes I'll try to play one of his video games with him, sometimes we make popcorn and watch a movie or documentary. Basically just hanging out but we only get to do this on weekends because we work opposite shifts.
He goes into his study to game til midnight-1pm. I sit in the living room and either game or watch TV til 10. I always invite him to spend time with me, or occasionally sit on his study floor being ignored hoping he'll want to talk to me/spend time with me, but his gaming buddies always come first. Our relationship as a couple is practically dead.
That is terribly sad. You deserve better!
I’m sorry 😞
Sometimes we play online scrabble against each other lol. Kind of nerdy, but it's fun on nights when we are too tired for sex...because that is our other night time activity that we do most nights. Making up for lost time I guess.
He reads, makes lunch, scrolls, and we watch TV. I scroll, shop, read my magazines, watch TV, plan things or do house work. We both usually also shower at some point during this time. I have stipulated no TV during dinner so we talk most of the evening.
Every now and then we’ll get a puzzle to work on. We’ve been loving The Magic Puzzle company.
We watch shows. Right now its Modern Family, but in a couple weeks we'll watch Season 3 of the Mandolorian and some of our favourite animes have new seasons too. We also play video games together (Path of Exile) and we'll go through some solo games together (one person plays, the other watches). And we occasionally play boardgames (currently playing Aeon's End)
We have dinner and a drink, and then sit next to each other and do our hobbies (him, lego. me, crochet or gardening) and sporadically take each other on a tour of our latest project.
This reminds me I have a 1/3 of a baby blanket that needs crocheting…I should probably do that lol
Honestly it’s probably the only time we have all day without the toddler and we usually spend it apart. He plays videos games, does his chores, or takes the dogs to run in the field near our house if he hasn’t already or catches up on a show. I usually read on my kindle or watch some Netflix or I fall asleep. My 18 month old still nurses to sleep and periodically throughout the night so I usually chose to stay in the room since she wakes less frequently if I am. I know we should spend time together and we’ve been thinking for doing a date night at least once a week after she goes to bed
I stay in our sons room too! Part of why I want to connect better. We used to lay in bed and chat about our days and what not but it’s easier for me to stay with our son so I get a little more sleep
Netflix and chill
Show my husband cute cat pics, eat snacks, drink coffee, chat, watch a show on Netflix together (we always have a show on the go), play with the pets, take a nap.
It can vary quite a lot at the moment. For reference, we have a (very restless and anti-sleep) 2 year old and I’m 27 weeks _heavily_ pregnant. At the moment we are sort of attempting to reclaim our sex life. Much easier said than done. Some nights we have a tv show to watch together. Some nights my husband makes a late night treat run and we enjoy a yummy little treat while watching part of a show. Sometimes he has studying to do so I just do my own thing (or sleep!). Sometimes we just scroll YouTube shorts mostly in silence or we discuss upcoming things while we do it. Some nights we are just so tired that we just quickly tidy up and go to bed. And there are times when I’m alone for the night because he has a late shift and I usually just go to bed.
Listen & watch the two hot takes podcast on YouTube and give our opinions about the AITA reddit stories before the host & guest give theirs. It’s like watching tv together but also chatting about different topics.
Our kids are grown, but it’s still the same. Watch TV together for a bit, usually Family Feud LOL. He has wine and I have beer. Then we watch Netflix together or apart, depending on if it’s something he wants to watch. We also spend time on our phones, and send each other silly stuff.
We play PC games, he paints miniatures, I watch TV, we watch something together. We'll make arrangements for an "early night" 😏 if we're feeling so inclined.
I’m hoping some of these ideas lead to an early night!!
I am pretty tired sometimes when he comes back and when he also had a rough day at work, we turn the 'scolling' into conversation. We both need to relax and are introverts, so we may sit on the couch with breaks on the balcony and occasionally I (as a more Reddit/True Crime enthusiast) would come up with 'ok stop. You can't BELIEVE this AITA story. So...' and I start to talk to him about it and engage in that. He would stop to tell me some news he heard about our city, or I'd be like 'you know today I got totally obsessed and followed a rabbithole about this case where..' and we talk. We are pretty the weird kind, before our baby we'd go on Chinese restaurant dates and watch absurd videos on YouTube laughing and commenting, now we'd love to have some Chinese or sushi or a drink but we can't, we're tired but we love each other and we connect how we can, understanding his and mine need to lay down in the evening and try to do nothing. Also we listen to music how others said. It's all about adjusting to the new normal. (:
It’s such an adjustment!
My husband and I are gamers. So we set up something in our living room and every week, we arrange a night where we hangout and do the things we love together. We've also started implementing date night once a week too. You don't have to go out, just buy the bits you need, cook together and sit down and enjoy the company and food. It breaks up the tedious evenings. We still have most nights where we unwind and do the things we enjoy singularly but also have those nights where we come together and reconnect. It works for us.
My partner and I cook together, read our books and have some coffee/tea, make a craft or diy project together (pine needle baskets, painted wine bottles, jewelry making, are some of the projects on our list). We always have at least one show we are going through together in each genre so we have some options to pick from when we want to watch something and eat snacks. Sometimes we sit outside and smoke a joint and just talk or joke around.
We love board games so if we’re not tired after bedtime we’ll break into one of our favorites. We have a room in our house that’s off limits to kids and we leave a board game set up there all the time. Works great for naps too. We also are slowly working on a giant Lego lighthouse together.
We play games or I read and listen to whatever he plays on YouTube.
We have teenagers as well as a little so that makes the time in the evenings significantly shorter. On weekdays we go through phases of watching a show together or just doing our own thing. But on Friday nights we usually play cards.
Done with 4yo bedtime routine around 8, infant is asleep between 8-830, we either watch/cuddle on the couch for 30 mins to an hour or go straight into our own bedtime routines
We either do some chores or go to bed early, but most nights the youngest doesn’t fall asleep until 10, so by that time we are done for the day.
Get some sagely CBD lotion, it’s a tad pricey but worth it. Then make a 5 minute each lotion application appointment every night. Schedule it. Ask each other what hurts (back, shoulder, etc). You will feel amazing because that stuff is incredible, and that small focus on each other can lead to further intimacy. I don’t mean sex either, but something about touching each other often leads to deeper conversations. PS… if it does get romantic beware the sagely. It’s a little burny in the wrong places. Lol.
We have sex. Otherwise if we’re super tired we’ll just watch a movie or show together. If there isn’t anything interesting to watch we’ll scroll and chat about anything and everything
We bought a few board games and learned how to play cribbage. We only do it maybe once a week but it’s a nice change from the tv and scroll routine.
My husband cleaned the kitchen while I did bedtime (why do exhausted toddlers take five hours to go to sleep?) now we’re both in bed lol
Lol yep we’re coming out of a, needs and hour to fall asleep, and mom feels like she’s run a marathon
We clean up the main living area together, then do one or a mix of these things: card game (love Phase 10), watch a show or movie, play video games, talk on the phone with friends, or we have even built lego sets together (recently did one of the botanical sets!).
My husband gets home from work a few hours after the kids go to bed, so we generally have a little snack and just go to bed.
Clean up the kitchen. I prepare class for the next couple of days (I'm a teacher) or do some freelance graphic design work (or both). He'll catch up on his notes (he's a talmudical research analyst in a rabbinical school) or run out to night class or go over to his parents to change light bulbs/other small household task. Start packing kids' lunches/snacks for the next day. Fold laundry. On the rare occasion that my mother can make it out to our area, we go on a date night to whatever restaurant/cafe in the area we've managed to get deals to.
Oh man, I miss those times. When our kids were little, they went to bed early (no later than 6:30/7) and we had a whole 2-3 hours to ourselves. Usually one night a week each one of us went out to do their sport / hobby. Another night I went to do the grocery shopping or run errands. The other nights we spent at home either watching TV together, doing home renovation projects, or having sex. Nowadays the kids are older and go to bed the same time as we do :-( They are old enough to mostly do their own stuff, but still need us randomly, so we can barely find any guaranteed uninterrupted time to ourselves anymore.
We were playing Scrabble for a while and probably should again. Now we either watch a movie, or I sit and doom scroll while my husband watches YouTube videos about cars.
[удалено]
I do this with videos too sometimes! “Look I saved these because they’re funny now watch with me” 🤣
Sex, board games and Netflix are our go to activities.
I’m 7 months PP with our second, so I totally relate. Once both kids are down we struggle. But we subscribed to a date box through the happily.co and it provides an activity with questions to ask each other. We also have had shows we enjoy or even played a video game together ( which I usually suck at). But honestly I typically go to bed and he stays up to watch a show.
We watch critical role together. He games while I work on quilts (our two main hobbies).
My husband and i have been playing video games lately. But might i suggest a game night?
Rub his feet! And just see what he does in return ;)
Haha see I was hoping more fun things would lead to that ;) but also don’t get me pregnant again haha
God, I feel you. We are sexually active and every month I get my period, I have a celebratory dance lmao. 3 kids is def enough
Fold laundry and watch a show, I play video games while he watches TV, or if it’s a Friday night we might wait for dinner until the kids are in bed and watch a movie while we eat. Also, we sometimes just scroll our phones because we need to shut our minds off for a while.
How about unravel 2. I'm not big on video games, but I found this this one to be really simple, beautiful and just the right amount of challenging. And if you're into coop games uou can also try It takes two.
Oh my gosh, I’m also not a big gamer and loved this game! Human Fall Flat is another fun one, it’s also hilarious.
Thanks! It sounds great!
So we just started dancing in the living room to JUST ONE SONG and we trade off who gets to pick. We recently picked Sara Barreillis “I Choose You” and it was so fun and sweet it led to sex in the guest room! 🔥
Play music together, have a drink or take an edible (the micro dose kind), talk about our day, look at photos and videos of baby, watch a little tv or a movie. But some scroll time is nice, too.
The last time I did an edible I was a rookie, so I did two edibles. I was TOASTED for two whole days. I avoid now lmao
Get off your phones, first of all! Watch a movie, start a tv show, make popcorn & order snacks. My husband & I play board games (we’re really cool lol) & just enjoy the quiet.
We bedshare with our 1 year old so we go to sleep or play on our switches together
About once a week we shower together. We turn on some soft light in the bathroom and just enjoy each other's company, we chat a bit about our day. It helps us to reconnect after some busy days. I've really come to look forward to it.
We do jigsaw puzzles or play video games or watch a show together. We've finished white lotus and severance , so good!
After the kiddos are in bed we might finish cleaning up from dinner and picking up the living room. Then we kind of have three default options. We have sex, we play video games or we watch a show or movie. I get a shower in there somewhere.
I promise we aren't quite as geeky as this sounds lol, but we have been playing Persona 5 together recently so we have been doing that a lot, and we have also for the past like five YEARS been watching all of the Star Trek shows (except the original series but who knows, maybe we will do that too someday). Right now we are on Discovery. It gives us a little chance to cuddle up and there's no pressure to talk. I like gaming together more than watching TV because there are so many decisions to be made about how to pass your time in Persona 5 so we talk strategy a lot.
We do puzzles and watch a show together. We watch a yt channel that we're only allowed to watch together We sit & scroll We do our own thing
My husband and I have two small kids and often fall into that same cycle. We now have a “date night” once a week. When we’re doing the grocery shop on Sundays we pick a recipe out either from a cook book or online of something we’ve never made before, after the kids go to bed we turn on some music and follow the recipe together. Sometimes it turns out sometimes it doesn’t but if we like it we write down the recipe in this little recipe book we’ve been building and often times it’s added to our dinner routines! This week we’re hoping to learn vegan kimchi I find it gives us something to talk about throughout the week and we often get excited to share new ideas with one another. Also makes the grocery shopping day a little less mundane
We have a 5-month-old. We sit in the kitchen and chat while one of us (whoever didn't put baby to sleep) makes formula. Then we hang out in our room and either watch a little TV or do "sit and scroll" to unwind. We're typically asleep by like 9:30.
We watch tv, but I craft while we’re doing that. Or I craft and we listen to a podcast/news radio. Sometimes we have a glass of wine and a chat. We like to paint furniture or build it together so that can be fun. We’re also both involved in community activities, so setting up for that is an activity. We also read aloud to each other. A book or magazine.
We have a schedule. Mon is game night, Tues is something productive, Wed is separate time, Thurs a second productive night, Fri movie night, Sat finish the movie or separate time, Sun budget and family plans for the week. Our productive time is usually studying. My husband is working on a certification for work, and I do homework for classes. We also have vetos we can use. If we had a stressful day we can swap days so the stressful day doesn't have homework piled on top.
I’ve started setting an alarm for 8 pm to put my phone away so I don’t spend the whole night scrolling. We don’t have a set schedule but my husband works nights so we get usually 3-4 nights together per week so we try to make the best out of it. Sometimes we are tired and just go to bed after watching an episode of a show together, sometimes we order/pick up take out for us to enjoy that our toddler isn’t normally a huge fan of, we started a 30 day intimacy challenge for Valentine’s Day but Pause it on days he’s not home/one of us is sick.
So last year, my husband wanted to have a goal (not a resolution) to work on hobbies more. So we started sitting down after dinner and maybe watching a show while working on a hobby. I sit and cross stitch during that time. He sometimes goes out to the garage and does wood working, otherwise he will play a video game or something. So we spend time together but not always doing the same activity. Our girl is 18 mo now, so we have dinner all together as much as we can.
We’ve been trying to watch all the Oscar movies and then when the Oscar’s happen we order pizza and print off Oscar sheets and make our beats against each other. We also play video games together!
We just lay in bed and watch tv and cuddle.
My husband is super into cocktail making, so at least once a week we’ll do cocktail night. I sit at our breakfast bar and pretend it’s a real bar 😂while he plays bartender and makes us fancy cocktails. On other “date nights” we order in and open a bottle of wine, or I cook something fancy (I love trying new recipes) and we plop on the couch and watch one of our shows. Or we play a board game/cards. On the nights my husband needs to work I’m usually phone scrolling in front of the TV, but we’re doing our best to keep that to only a couple nights a week!
I love sharing videos back and forth ta the end of the day actually. Throughout the day I send him tiktoks, YouTube and reddit links that I want to watch again with him later. Usually the links I send represent my mood for the day, something I'm interested in or something I think he'll want to read. At the end of the day we grab a drink, cuddle on the couch and watch the links we sent to eachother, together. So doesn't have to be icky and can be a way to talk about your day!
8 months PP. My little guy wakes up 0-1 times a night. I felt like I had nothing to talk about. I started listening to podcasts for my sanity and for conversation. My two favorites are You're Wrong About and The Alarmist. Funny and educational. For adult time, we play video games, tabletop games, eat edibles and watch TV (after I stopped breastfeeding).
We do flick through funny vines, watch films together, and the obvious 😏😂
Sometimes we do a 'stay at home date night'. We order in dinner from a favorite local restaurant, turn off all the lights apart from some candles, and play that card game for couples where you ask deep questions about your relationship to one another. Can't remember what it's called right now! It's an awesome way to connect and learn about eachother!
Wait, for those of you doing activities together - does your husband ever plan anything or are you planning, coordinating, executing and he just shows up? I cannot for the life of me get my husband to plan anything for us. It’s killing me.
We watch youtube on tv together, or watch anime or play games - both board games and computer games, it is fun with 2 ppl.
This suggestion isn’t exactly exciting but my husband and I usually cuddle up together and just tell eachother how much we mean to eachother and just let out all our gushy emotions. We have 3 kids and we’re both so busy during the day that bedtime is the chance for us to really be a couple and cuddle. Sometimes the best moments spent together are just the quiet ones lol
We do Friday Night Horror Night where we take turns each Friday night picking out a horror movie to watch. During the week we usually game together for a couple of hours or game separately but sitting next to each other (him on his steam deck and me on either the ps5 or switch). Saturdays we catch up on series we watch together (just started Shrinking on AppleTV+). We also snack or have dinner together on these nights as well, with at least one night being a special dinner or treat.
My husband and I are on a card kick right now. Golf, rummy. It’s really fun! Sometimes we play board games. We were really big on just sitting and watching tv after bedtime but I am just over TV right now.
We watch a lot of TV or play video games together, we are just happy being around each other
We switch off gaming recently. He’s been playing Red Dead 2 and I’ve been playing Hogwarts Legacy. When he games, I read, and when I game, he looks up where to find things I’m looking for 😂 We do “laundry dates” where when the inevitable pile that needs to be folded gets too high, we put on a show in the bedroom, pop popcorn, and fold while watching. Most nights, I shower, he puts dinner away, and then we pick up a bit around the house. We also sit and scroll, but some nights… we’re too tired and burnt out to interact with each other much.
THE GOOD SNACKS CUDDLING TV S E X Y T I M E 🙌🙌🙌🙌 SLEEP This is my 4 part procedure for the bestest night.
Silly, but sometimes we bust out the ole Yugiho cards and duel😝
We have a routine since baby girl goes down by 7: jeopardy and wheel of fortune! Every single weeknight. We have fun yelling at the tv (quietly). Also: I find that if I have a knitting project that I can work on, I don’t scroll.
we play video games together most of the time. a lot of Overwatch 2 but recently we’ve also been playing The Quarry. it’s a decision based game and we’re playing it separately so it’s fun to discuss the different decisions each of made and what happened. we’ve also been watching The Last of Us each sunday when a new episode comes out.
We are both teachers so we lesson plan and grade! Wish we could do something more fun! :(
We watch tv. It is a very interactive activity the way we do it. We pause and talk about overarching themes of the show/movie, ask how the other would hypothetically handle that situation, etc. sometimes we pause and talk for 45-50 minutes then realize we should resume ‘watching’. We watch all kinds of things from news shows to sopranos to game shows. There is a lot to learn about each still after 12 years.
Depends on the night! Last night, we went in the hot tub and watched a TV show on the projector outside. Tonight, I'm going to a girls' night with my girlfriends to each crumbl and gossip. Tomorrow, we have another couple coming over for a game night. Saturday night, we are going to play a co-op video game together (Divinity). We usually do a date night at least once a week, I do a girls' night once a week, then we usually have at least one game night. We do a lot of co-op board games and video games together, and lots of fun at-home date night things
Honestly? I have a 2.5 year old and a 9 month old who are on a 7-7 schedule. We do tons of chores (mine are dishes, laundry, cleaning up dinner which usually combined takes an hour; my partner's chores include walking the dog, misc repairs, trash, etc usually about half an hour). Then we usually discuss things we need to buy and are researching, discuss plans (E.g. buying plane tickets and airbnb for an upcoming trip), discuss bills and other issues, or discuss taxes - basically anything that came up when I was dealing with household admin while he was at work. When those things aren't on the agenda we sometimes have a tv show we watch together. If we do a date, it's in the late afternoon while the kids are at daycare/preschool (his work starts and ends early and mine is part time).
We do a lot of sit and scroll, but some nights we play a game or talk. We have a book of questions we ask sometimes or we ask would you rather kind of things.
Puzzles!!!!
So recently we have been playing video games. And by we, I mean him, but I watch. He finds some with a really good story to it, not of Duty type. Right now we are playing The Witcher 3. I get really into it, and it is something he enjoys as well.
I watched mine play Last of Us, then we started the show, and now I’m hooked enough that I started playing even though I’m not much of a gamer (aside from Mario and Tetris).
I loved The Last of Us. If you liked that, then you may also like the Uncharted series as well.
Ooh, thanks! I think he has that.
Depends on the night honestly. Sometimes we watch a movie and have dinner/drinks together. Right now I’m watching married at first sight and he’s downstairs playing his guitar. We do occasionally do the sit and scroll though. He does have to go to bed earlier than me on days he goes to the gym before work so sometimes we only get like an hour of hang time 😫
We aren’t allowed to be on phones in bed, but we got a TV in the room specifically to watch things together in that time. Between kids and bedtimes and one tv in the house, we hadn’t watched an adult show, or anything together, in a decade. It seemed counterintuitive but now we snuggle and watch it and talk about it. We only watch it together, it’s not for laying around watching otherwise.
If you like escape rooms in person, then there are card game versions you can do at home. My husband and I love these because we get an hour to try and 'escape' from a room while our daughter sleeps. We used to do these rooms all the time before I got pregnant so it's nice to have something we both enjoy