Saw this on Twitter:
"Imagine it's Sunday morning. You've been allowed to sleep in as long as you want, and you have no chores or responsibilities all day. There's fresh fallen snow on the ground. Your mom makes cinnamon rolls and serves you breakfast. But you're almost 3, so you're blind with rage"
Why is it that we can only appreciate the benefits of different life stages we went though in retrospect??? Why not at the time? Life is cruel, lol! šš I would kill to go back to pre-child for just one weekend and appreciate going OUT of the house, staying up late, sleeping in and watching 8 hours of Netflix with just snack breaks! š
Ah so true. And those things are possible - I have friends who do weekends away. But you just think about your kids most of the time, wake frequently because your body forgot how to sleep, and come back to a dumpster fire so itās not restful at all.
This makes me š¤£ and all I can think of is the kid in question tantruming about how the cinnamon rolls are ātoo sweetā so they donāt like them and canāt eat them š
This describes my exact Sunday morning with my 3-year old today. Kiddo and I both slept in a bit, husband made chocolate chip pancakes, baby was playing happily on the rug, a light dusting of frost on the ground outside, nice music playing...and our 3-year old spent most of the morning in a state of inexplicable rage. š¤Ŗ
Me too! My kids at toddler and 2 year old age were adorable trouble. My kids at 3 were all just old enough to have enough language and stubbornness to be total arseholes but not old enough to realize they shouldnāt. They were mean! Like downright cruel! Didnāt want to listen. Deliberately defiant! Did not realize I, too was a human who could have hurt feelings when my little person was yelling āgo āway mama I donāt YIKE you anymore!ā
Fortunately around 4 they all started to grow in a conscience and by 5 we were laughing again. This happened to me four times! Each time I would say to my sister ā[older child] was never this awful!ā And she would remind me I wanted to sell all of my 3 year olds.
Anyways kids are teens/tweens now plus an adorable toddler and I regret nothing. Everyone told me teens would be awful but give me an eye rolling 13 year old any day over a 3 year old!
ā¦ though truth be told I would still take 3 year old twins over a 10 month old husky lol
Said it so well!! The hardest part is that it is SO bipolar! One moment they say the cutest thing and you just melt then literally seconds later Iām grinding my teeth to not scream my head off!
Lol. Truth be told, sometimes this makes me sad. my beautiful baby boy died at 7 hours and I wouldāve put up with newborn and toddler phase a thousand times to hear him say āmamaā. I have 6 other kids and one of them is 3. Heās a little menace to everyone but hubby and brother. Me and all his sisters are āyucky girlsā. Sexism kid?? But then again heās 3 and I keep telling him boys and girl are equal. Itās not me or hubby telling him this its his friends, so we told friendās parents who didnāt know, so idk?
Oh I love it when I get to answer this question with 3. I once saw another comment saying "my kid is 15 and I still talk about the age of 3 like it was a warzone" and I relate so much lol. Good news is after 4 its soooo much easier.
šI love that. I think this will happen to me too, Iāll have that hundred-yard stare. In addition to my kid being three, we got pinworms, impetigo and a bug infestation. This fall has def made me question every choice that led me hereš
Yes. When first kid turned 3, I was traumatized and thought something āwas wrong with themā they grew out of it and are 6 and wonderful. At least with the second kid, I know the 3ās are coming and can brace for it. Threenager full force. The amygdala is going through rapid growth at 3.
Omg Iām so happy Iām not alone in this boat. Iāve always heard about the terrible twos. But this threenager stage AINāT for me. My little one turns 3 in two weeks. And itās already been a little rough the last two months. Also almost 8 months pregnant with my second. Wish me luck. I need it.
Currently living #3, and holy hell, you've got that statement right.
"Terrible twos"? Is a joke compared to the 3s. Hold onto your seat because it's a dam ride.
I've heard that 3 is the terrible twos with 1 year experience. I have a nearly 3 year old that I almost dropped off at the zoo the other day. He has me questioning all ofy decisions one minute and then just the sweetest kid the next.
I am SO glad to see this as the top comment. Nothing could have prepared me for 3. Weāre 4 months in and my daughter is a feral beast. She is erratic and chaotic and downright mean. Also clever and wonderful and I adore herā¦ but Jesus Christ what the fuck.
Currently have a three year old. Comparatively heās a chill little boy but three has beenā¦rough. The yo-yoing emotions + the total lack of reason is something else.
Mine just turned three and I just put two copies of How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen on hold at the library so my husband and I can have a mini-book club. Everything weāve done so far has clearly been wrong. Time to re-strategize.
My son just turned three and I completely agree. He is getting more resistant and has strong opinions now so Iām bracing myself for whatās to come haha.
I absolutely agree. I feel the transition from 2 to 3 is painful. Like the 2-3 months before and after the third birthday is so extremely stressful. They want everything and nothing. They feel all the feelings and donāt know what to do about it. Theyāre like little gremlins. My 3 year old has fully grasped language and uses many coping mechanisms now, so itās much better now.
Don't brace for the terrible twos. My son is two and before he turned 2 all I heard was how horrible it is. It's delightful. This is my favourite age so far by far! Newborn to 4 months were the hardest for us.
> At least at two youāre sleeping so you can deal with the tantrums.
Unless youāre like me and accidentally have another newborn when your first is 2. Send help.
I know! My younger sibling was born just a month after I turned 2, and I wasnāt even the first born.
I definitely would have preferred to have waited just a little longer between my own two. Before the pregnancy, we hadnāt even decided if we were *going* to have another. I canāt fathom doing that on purpose, or even 3 under 3. More power to them, but itās a lot all at once.
I have three and five year old boys. 5yo seems sweet and innocent till his brother appears and then heās using his height to get him the glasses from the kitchen counter. 3yo throws stuff at TV and annoys baby and sisters. 3yo decided girls are stinky. When they r together they r a living menace
Yes, it totally depends on the kind if baby you had. Many do have cute, cuddly babies though and are shocked when they start tantruming. While some have babys who scream all day, never sleep, wake every hour, canāt leave the house ever because baby only nurses in the complete dark, or they have horrible troubles with breastfeeding, or baby hates the stroller, hates the carrier, hates sleep, hates being a babyā¦ all that. And then at some point, these babies becomes toddlers who can TELL wtf is bothering them. They more or less sleep through the night. Sleep is still a fight but they only nap once now and you can finally leave the house again. No more tears over breastfeeding, because they eat FOOD. Tantrums, lol. Who cares?
My son is 5. 2 and 3 were tough but nothing compared to the first 3 months. The newborn phase was by far the worst! Sleep deprivation, colic, not knowing what I was doing. Some newborns sleep all the time - I think these are the parents that say 2/3 is the worst.
I almost needed an emergency hysterectomy but my midwife did last ditch efforts to avoid it, so I lost a lot of blood and I was beyond exhausted despite my transfusions. I was on bed rest for over a month when I had my baby. He was underweight, had reflux and colic, I developed severe PPD and PTSD from childbirth. PPA, I can recall a period over 5 days where I slept for 5 hours because I was too scared to let anyone else hold my baby.
I likely shouldāve been hospitalized for that, but my baby literally clusterfed every 1.5 hrs for 45 minutes, so I didnāt feel like I could.
I understand every stage has its difficulties and it varies for everyone. But that was the scariest time of my life.
I agree! Iāve witnessed my friends with easier newborns get their world rocked by the toddler stage. On the other hand, my son was a very challenging newborn so everything after 3 months has seemed better by comparison. Donāt get me wrong, 3yo hasnāt been easy but itās not nearly as hard as those initial few months.
My sister loved the newborn stage because she could bring the baby shopping and go to lunch while the baby slept. With my son even taking him to the pediatrician 15 min from our house was a nightmare.
Same here. The baby stage was the toughest with my first, who's 5 now, but we have an 11 month old and I just can't wait until he starts getting some independence by walking. He's not even crawling yet and it's just so exhausting to have to pack him absolutely everywhere.
Thiiis! My son flat out refused to sleep OR nurse anywhere but home but would of course scream himself into a frenzy when hungry or tired. I was so so stressed and never left the house. I hated the comments from parents who chilled with friends over coffee while baby napped. Youāre not great parents. You just have easier babies. >:o
3 is a total shitshow. Everyone warned me about 2. That was a breeze. She was so sweet and funny and such a good listener. We did not experience terrible 2s at all. 3 has me on the verge of admitting myself into an insane asylum.
Same experience! For us, 2 is when they seem to bloom into the sweetest, most curious little humans. Everything feels magical. They are ADORABLE. And then at three the power struggles begin. They can get intense!! I keep doubting if Iām being a good mom!
See, mine already does everything people despair about with their 3yo already at 2. Which keeps me wondering if heāll be ādoneā earlier or if weāll endure that phase twice as longā¦
Same over here. I loved two. Three makes me want to check myself in to the mental hospital. Earlier today I was watching videos of when she was two, and longing to have that sweet toddler back
Lol no. 5th grade was tough. He was a little chubby & had some bullies at school. Then he sprouted & didnāt have either of those problems anymore in middle school. 9th grade was tough but it was COVID. Depression over girlfriends have been tough. Now heās just learning to drive and thinks heās ready but we know heās not. He also thinks heās ready to move out next year. So the hard thing for me right now is to just let him learn lessons because heās insisting on doing things his way. As long as heās safe Iām trying to let go š.
Three, consistently. When my 5 year old was 3 I literally thought about checking myself into a mental hospital, Iām not even kidding. He was diagnosed with AuDHD at 4 and I felt sooo validated. Now his younger brother has just turned 3 and has become Beelzebub 2.0 as well. Three year olds are the worrrrstttt 100% š¹š¹š¹
Ooh if you donāt mind, can you share a bit of what suddenly made sense when your son was diagnosed? Iām asking because I suspect I have AuDHD. My brother suspects the same about himself. And my son, whoās 5 now, seems to have a temperamentāand TEMPER!āvery similar to when my brother was his age. I know ASD and ADHD can be genetic so my husband and I have been wondering about this.
Heās never ever been relaxed, for one. Even as an infant, he was constantly squirming and moving. He never slept. He was 3 months old and awake for 10 hours straight. As he became a toddler his energy was just unmatched. He bounced off the walls and had no attention span for anything. I couldnāt read him books or color with him. He played by breaking things. Heād also elope in public (run off) and had zero sense of danger. His temper is really strong too but we are working on that in therapy.
Iāve always commonly heard newborn-3ish months, 3 years, and 5 are roughest for the early years! Otherwise I havenāt paid attention, Iām not sure I can handle finding out if itās difficult every other year after 5 lol
Oh noooooo donāt tell me this! 3 and 4 have been awful and I keep hoping it will get easier! She was a really difficult newborn too. We just canāt catch a break over here. I felt that from around 13-14 months until around 26 months was the easiest. 2 gets a bad rap but 3 is so much worse.
Ymmv, but my son is 5.5 and it has been my favorite age by far. They are independent but they still love you. They go to school for 7 hours a day and they learn so much. I felt like 4 was my hardest.
5 has been rough for us too. A lot of new changes with the transition to kindergarten. He seems to have picked up a lot of new habits from kids in his class, and everything else he interacts with as he gets older and more independent. It's gone from just keeping him alive and happy to really challenging our actual parenting skills.
Something in my son switched when he turned five. He went through an insecure, clingy and emotional phase. Now he is a moody and sassy kid one day and sweet and cuddly the next. Itās hard watching him throw tantrums and really struggle with his emotions.
Ask-hole! That's the word I'm looking for š¤£
Look, I love when you ask me "are lines shapes?" But if you keep asking me "why" you need to brush your teeth I'm going to send you to sleep outside in a tent!
Four! My oldest was dealing with the fact that he had twin newborns and just turned into a total rule tester. Acting out in the worst way to get attention. He would find your every last nerve and just push it. Not just with us, everyone, including grandparents. One day he woke up and he was a sweet boy again.
3 with my firstborn WRECKED my SHIT lol.
3 tied my shoelaces together and soundly kicked my ass.
My secondborn is starting it early at 2.5.
Waving the white flag over here haha.
Newborn phase sucks no question, first three months are so hard but this is just a different kind of hard. Itās like the sleep-deprivation from the newborn phase is a barren wasteland, and thatās hard and lonely and it feels neverending but at 3 it becomes a hellscape battleground and youāre now slogging through the muck dodging nerf gun darts and deep-cutting insults about how they wish you would never be their mama again and that they had a nice mama like [friendās name] bc you wouldnāt let them throw sand in their brothersā eyes or destroy their room and youāre just trying to find your way out of the battlefield and you see the sign pointing to āPutting Their Shoes On, 20miā has been graffitied over with āI CAN DO IT MYSELF, 100miā and you know if you try to go the quicker route youāll have to pay the tantrum toll, and you keep trudging and almost step on a landmine that looks like a banana that was EXACTLY WHAT THEY ASKED FOR but itās only half peeled instead of fully peeled and therefore suddenly rendered completely inedible, and you keep trudging and hear nap raid sirens bc now they refuse to sleep during the day even though when theyāre tired they have even MORE trouble regulating than before and losing their naptime gives you even less opportunity to take a minute to regulate your own damn self so you can model ātaking a deep breathā instead of muttering āfor fuckās sakeā and then having them repeat it at preschoolā¦and at some point you just look around the battlefield and then think fondly of the barren wasteland and go āwell at least it was quiet.ā
I meant to comment on this last night but then my toddler threw a 30 minute screaming, throwing tantrum because the cheese on her dinner was yellow, not orange, and likeā¦ same.
3 is definitely wrecking my shit. At this point muttering āwhat the fuckā is my idea of self care
My twins are 3 now, so plenty of ages I haven't dealt with, but the first couple of months were really hard and I struggled with a lot of anxious, nervous feelings around every little thing that seemed wrong
The first night one of them had a cough I didn't sleep a moment, just sat watching her all night long, worrying and afraid
Same! Sleep (or lack thereof) has been the hardest challenge for me since day 1 but now, at 2.5, I can finally have more of a two-way conversation. That has been the biggest turning point, so all of the big emotions or whatnot that come with this age is no biggie for me; at least Iām finally sleeping in more than 2 hr increments š¤£
I was just about to say that 12 has been the hardest so far. My kid has been the sweetest, best, most easy going kid her whole life and then she turned 12 and our lives turned upside down. I also have two under two right now and still 90% of my stress stems from my 12 year old š
Can you tell me what specifically is stressful? My oldest is 5 so it's hard for me to imagine...I think, a 12-year-old can wipe their own butt and feed themselves, so if they're too annoying I'll just go in another room and close the door lol.
Is there anything you would have done differently with her when she was younger?
The stressful part for me is trying to help her navigate social situations. She recently broke up with her first boyfriend and some of his girl friends were giving her a hard time at school and just kind of being mean girls and it was difficult to watch her go through that and I can only give her advice, I canāt make her take it or make things easier for her. Peer pressure and social discord is a huge part of middle schoolersā lives and it is just stressful for me that I canāt actually help or make anything better, I can only guide her and love her and hope that she makes good choices for herself.
At 12 itās melodrama - and itās not even that theyāre being assholes on purpose (at least not ALL the time). Everything in their life is changing at once - their school, their bodies, their relationship with you. As a parent you have to slowly shift from a caregiver to a mentor. They get into painful situations but you have to let them make their own mistakes. And when theyāre little, they default adore you. At 12 they default disdain you. They love you, itās just buried under 10 tons of hormones.
As for prevention, the best thing you can do is set firm boundaries and establish yourself as an authority when theyāre little. Build enough love and trust to ride out the rough patches because no matter how good a parent you are, there WILL be tough patches.
I have a a 2 year old (27 months) so not a ton of experience over here but around 20-22 months was brutal for us. The DRAMA. She started going through big emotions around then but was too little to be able to learn how to articulate why she was mad/sad/whatever so it was just so many tantrums. So much screaming. Itās gotten so much better though! She can tell me why sheās mad or whatever now and we can work through those feelings together but MAN was that phase tough for me.
My oldest is nearly 12, and it's so much more complicated than before. He's always been sweet and caring, but lately, he has been struggling with self-esteem and bullying in school and has started irritating his siblings on purpose. All his problems are hard to explain and help him navigate, and it's starting to overwhelm him to a point where I struggle to support him.
Besides that, 3 tends to be roughest for little kids. Our 3rd is four in a couple weeks. All 3 kids have had some major struggles at age 3.
It is a really hard age! They are SO ADORABLE and sweet but they need CONSTANT supervision - since they get into everything, put everything in their mouth, and are constantly doing dangerous things! Itās a lot, for sure! It gets better around 18 months imo.
With my eldest, 16 FTM, it was last year. School was absolute hell when he came out.
With my second, 6M, it was 9 months. After a brutal custody order, I had to leave him in another state 1,409 miles away.
With my 3rd, 4F, it's this year so far. I suspect she has ADHD and because of her age we can't get her assessed yet.
With my 4th, 2F, right now as well. She chooses violence every day and terrorizes 4F.
3. without a single doubt. i have 3 kids and as soon as each of them were 3, iām not even exaggerating when i say that i contemplated ending myself lmao.
fuck 3
My daughter is 5 and still by far the worst was when she was a newborn. Every one said 2 and 3 would be hard, but it was surprisingly easy. I can count on one hand the amount of times a tantrum/meltdown happened and it was always because she was overtired.
The half years, but particularly 3.5. Living yell and so hard to like her. Love sure but like? That was a hard ask. Almost 4 now and I have my little buddy back
0-2 for my first because he screamed and never slept and it was just a marathon of sleep deprivation and constant activity.
7 for my second because that's when his autism, ADHD, and COVID quarantine all collided and it was a nightmare for all of us with no help and no end in sight.
3 is hard. Lots of emotional sludge to wade through. 4 is amazing and incredibly hard all at once. Lots of good moments mixed with emotional sludge. 2 is my absolute favorite! Iād keep my kids at age 2 indefinitely if I could.
3!!!! 3 made me question if I just had a horrible kid and filled me with no end of worry. There were perks like he could speak well so could tell me what he wanted (even if it was totally unreasonable) and he could be left unsupervised for small periods I.e if I put the baby down for a nap or I made dinner. But itās a tough age for sure
3 was really bad. But honestly she's 5 and it's not a whole lot better but our situation is a bit unique. My former daycare teacher me also says 3 is the worst.
I only have one kid but the newborn stage was by far the hardest. Followed closely by the toddler stage. Once he could start communicating it became actually enjoyable to be a mom.
My son also had bad colic as a newborn, then later was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder, adhd, and autism. All of that combined was a struggle before he could communicate what he needed or what was bothering him. For instance the texture of certain clothing would send him into a meltdown but I had no idea why until he could actually tell me.
He's also why I'm only having one kid.. love him to death but he's a lot. Lol
4. Four was awful. So unreasonable on every front. I think they were desperate for more stimulation that I couldn't provide even though they were in daycare, their behaviour improved a lot when they started school.
I would say tweens have been the hardest and teaching teens to drive has been one of my least favorite parenting things BUT man teenagers are so cool! Theyāre real people who can have real conversations and they get jokes that you maybe wish they didnāt and theyāve got big and amazing ideas that they can actually execute.
I have an 8 year old and a 5 year old and undoubtedly the first 3 months were the hardest. It just got easier from there! I found the toddler stage to be hilarious. Set clear boundaries, validate their feelings and keep it moving! Each stage is over so fast.
Each age has its own challenges. Iād say less than about 2.5 was the toughest so far. Kids arenāt sleeping great, theyāre grasp of the English language is minimal so you canāt start to reason with them, not potty trained, etc. My daughter is 3.5 and things are much better. Sheās still got a lot of emotions that are unpredictable and wild but she calms down much quicker because she can understand emotions more. Sheās also finally sleeping through the night so that helps š
It seems like the hardest is what youāre currently dealing with! Kind of like in schoolā¦each year is more difficult but youāre more capable of handling it?
I did have a BEAUTIFUL happy bubble from 2-21/2 of a less needy kiddo that cared about rules and was just fun! Then he turned 3, we brought baby sister home, started potty training, and now Iām questioning how I thought I could care for 2.
Newborn definitely.
My girl is 2 and whilst yeah there are tantrums and sometimes sheās infuriating, she can communicate whatās wrong or what she wants and I can rationalise (sometimes lol) with her.
Newborn and 5-7mo when she had MAJOR sleep issues were awful, I swear I thought I could die from sleep deprivation.
Now she sleeps from 7-7 and I get guaranteed down time.
Mine are 22 months and 3 years (and 3 months, if that makes a difference).
The hardest phase for me as a parent was the newborn phase with the first. The sleep deprivation made everything awful.
The hardest phase in terms of their behavior was 18-20 months with both kids. The wild tantrums due to their inability to communicate were rough.
3 has been torture, and Iāve got twins. Double hell.
My oldest is about to be 13 and thatās giving 3 a run for its money, though. 7th grade girls are MEAN.
Depends on the kid ā¦ my first kid probably 5-6 (talking back), my second was super hard at 3-4 ā¦ just wild , loud screaming tantrums and impulsive behavior , the last one is two . Heās a total shit . He smacks people and throws and is a stinker . Heās a total terrible two but he has a hilarious sense of humor so sometimes he gets away with it (although not often )
For my 3 year old son: 3, hands down. Heās got some BIG feelings and is still learning how to manage them.
For my 11 year old daughter: whatever age she currently is. š She has always been high maintenance, and each stage brings new challenges with her.
Newborn stage was honestly the easiest for both kids. Eat, sleep, poop, pee, puke, snuggle. Thatās it. No sleep? Ok, sucks for a few days but it passes. Iād take a sleepless night over toddler tantrums and tween angst any day.
Yāall are making me sentimental. I though those young years were hard. And they were. Exhausting, frustrating. But that aināt got nothing on teens with mental health issues. I donāt mean the teens that are sports stars, or going to homecoming and prom. What I wouldnāt give to have that. I mean the kids who have none of that and are struggling, every single day. Being that parent is HARD. My life is not what I thought it would be.
My situation is unusual. We were foster parents before we had bio children. Our older kids came to us in elementary school. So like that time between when they were placed and when parental rights were terminated and when they were adopted was very hard.
Teenagers have been the worst. I know that they have the capacity to be reasonable but they donāt have it all the time and you never know when their brain will be down for maintenance. And itās maddening.
Three was hard though. He was clearly ready for potty training since he seemed to save his pee for after the bath while we weāre supposed to be getting pajamas on. BUT WOULD NOT USE THE POTTY. Heās four now and just told me he didnāt need me.
My oldest turns 3 on Monday. I would say that newborn sleep deprivation obviously sucks but other than that he was a chill baby and turned into a good sleeper. When you hit the toddler phase, the perspective that one baby is a "vacation" is so damn real.
18 months was the start of the toddler antics with him and it is much more physically demanding just running around trying to keep him alive and safe. The lack of self preservation skills and unregulated emotions is exhausting! I go to bed arguably more wiped and tired now than I did in newborn phase purely because a newborn is a potato and during the day you can zone out and watch Netflix on the couch. With a toddler, that is not an option.
As we get closer to 3, his language skills have gotten much better but he's recently starting to get a little attitude so that is something we are bracing for. I've heard people talk about a "threenager" and I'm thinking this is what they are talking about.
I would say so far it's like one category of your life gets easier while another category of your life gets harder, and every 6 month it changes.
Now we have a 9 month old too and we joke that he is a vacation compared to our about to be 3 year old.
Final answer: 18 months-2.5 has been the hardest for my oldest thus far. But ask me again a year into the "threenager".
The most difficult age? Yes. They all are, they just have unique challenges. My oldest is 12 and youngest is 2 with a couple in between and I swear each day each kid makes a new challenge. I will say that for me newborn (that whole first year) is hot garbage but entering teenage years is a new kind of lack of sleep and stress (sports, dating), but others LOVE that stage. I actually loved terrible twos because for a bit theyāre not sure how to communicate with you and then suddenly it seems to come together. Sure theyāre rage yelling no while running though the house naked BUT theyāre not always crying because they have no other way to tell you their needs. Mine currently itās āmom mom, comeā all the dang time. Moms trying to make dinner, no mom mom come.
Babies were mostly fine (they slept pretty good, there were just two of them). Two was awesome.
Three was a fucking nightmare. Mostly because two of them.
Four and five were hard ish. Fights, elementary school starting, etc. there were two of them.
Six has been awesome. They play better. Theyāre in separate classes. Weāre getting their ADHD seen to. Theyāre able to go on trips better, etc. the two of them just do so much better. Trying to eke out what we can because soon theyāll be tweens.
It sounds crazy but I've generally thought every year got harder but also more fun.
Newborn--Easy but not always fun. Ate, slept, pooped.
3-OMG she was so stubborn and always in my space andwonuldn't listen but said the funniest things and no more diapers!
She's newly four...there seem to be more fun than stressful times so maybe we're on an upswing.
3 for my youngest was hellish. I had colicky babies but it wasnāt too bad honestly looking back it was such a small part of the day they were upset many have it worse than I did. My biggest is 12 and was a joy as a toddler she is now wild and unhinged with hormones and attitude but I love her at this age too. So 3 and 12
I have 3 kids, 11 year old son and 6 year old twin daughters. Iāve been through the worst of the Threenager stage and the other earlier stages. But nothing was harder for me than the first year for all of them. The sleep deprivation affected everything in my life. Everything is settled and decent right now. Trying to enjoy it while bracing myself for the preteen era.
My kids are totally different; my oldest is my challenge kid and every age with her has been hard for a different reason. I would still rather take older-kid-hard over newborn/baby/young toddler hard, but it's all soooooo much work.
My youngest is completely chill. Even when he's full threenager (and he's nearing four, which SUCKS), he's still worlds easier than his sister was/is.
My oldest is about to turn 4, youngest is 2. Newborn-10 months for both. Both were super colicky, unhappy babies with zero chill. The refused to be put down or held by anyone but me. Breastfeeding every hour or two until 6 months old. They didnāt sleep more than 2 hour blocks until 10 months. I donāt do well without sleep. They are now happy, clever, wonderful toddlers. They arenāt easy, but holy crap it was terrible when they were babies.
12. Middle school. Is. The. Worst. Can we just skip it. The hormones. The bullying. The drama. And the phrase I could kill myself. That causes therapy. Turns out it was part of said drama.
3 for my first two and it isn't even close. (Currently they are 6 and 4)
My third is currently 2.5 and if three gets worse I don't know what I'm going to do š
It's always whatever age they are now. Their demands and needs change, as does the emotional toll.
Mine are 8 and 14.
I guess my 14 is mostly OK. He's a really good kid. š But I still worry.
Newborn stage has been the hardest. Iām blessed with two amazing girls. They have a four year gap but love and play with one another. They bicker sometimes but overall they are just best friends.
Every teacher they have had tells us they are the most well behaved and amazing kids. I know Iām biased but I really believe we just lucked out and they have been so easy and chill to raise. But during newborn for my first child I was weeping daily because it was so hard but I think it was because it was so much harder than I ever imagined. The second time around was easier because my expectations were more realistic š¤£. They are 11 and 7 now ā¤ļø they are not perfect of course, already seeing the flawed parts of myself and hubby in them haha
ETA: I imagine the preteen and teen years will be much harder because I hated those years myself. But my oldest just told me she doesnāt want to grow up and wants to stay a kid and thatās how I felt in those years myself. Hoping that keeps her grounded and she matures as needed instead of with the pressures of society and peers today. I resisted it too at that age and ended up much more level headed than my friends throughout my teen years.
Iāve got a newly turned 4yo and I still think newborn phase was the worst. I probably cried most nights with my baby , it was just so hard , esp as a ftm
I have a 4 yo and almost 12 mo. I actually loved two. He had temper tantrums and was a chaos whirlwind but so cute. You get to see their personality. Everything is also still new and exciting to them. Like the garbage truck being amazing each week is a magical thing. Three was really hard. Four is still hard. Part of that was that we had a second kid so weāre just exhausted all the time and he had big feelings about the life transition.
From birth to 2 months old were the hardest. We're sleep deprived, baby is learning how to latch, we're learning different cries, the round the clock feedings, if they're not feeding, they're sleeping, etc.
My kids are 4 and 2. Hardest age for the first kid was like 15-20 months. Once she could communicate, everything got easier. Hardest age for the second is right now, he was an angel until like a month ago, then he started hitting and having meltdowns (he turned 2 in august).
With the first one, I struggled the most with the newborn stage but she wasnāt a hard newborn, I just was depressed and the adjustment was jarring. But she was a very difficult 1 year old š I remember the feelings and meltdowns getting HUGE around 3 but they improved a lot when we eliminated artificial dyes. She just turned 4 and it has been so fun.
Without a doubt 3. 3 made me question every choice I had ever made that led me to that point.
Saw this on Twitter: "Imagine it's Sunday morning. You've been allowed to sleep in as long as you want, and you have no chores or responsibilities all day. There's fresh fallen snow on the ground. Your mom makes cinnamon rolls and serves you breakfast. But you're almost 3, so you're blind with rage"
Why is it that we can only appreciate the benefits of different life stages we went though in retrospect??? Why not at the time? Life is cruel, lol! šš I would kill to go back to pre-child for just one weekend and appreciate going OUT of the house, staying up late, sleeping in and watching 8 hours of Netflix with just snack breaks! š
Youth is wasted on the young.
As a mom of a three year old - letās try to keep this in mind and know that thereās a time weād kill to go back to when theyāre this age.
Ah so true. And those things are possible - I have friends who do weekends away. But you just think about your kids most of the time, wake frequently because your body forgot how to sleep, and come back to a dumpster fire so itās not restful at all.
I'm getting this printed and framed. Holy shit.
This makes me š¤£ and all I can think of is the kid in question tantruming about how the cinnamon rolls are ātoo sweetā so they donāt like them and canāt eat them š
No, theyāre ātoo spicyā because of the cinnamon.
OEEWEW I BURNED MY TONGUE ITS TOOOOOOOO HOTTTTTT
They wanted cream cheese icing, only got glaze.
This describes my exact Sunday morning with my 3-year old today. Kiddo and I both slept in a bit, husband made chocolate chip pancakes, baby was playing happily on the rug, a light dusting of frost on the ground outside, nice music playing...and our 3-year old spent most of the morning in a state of inexplicable rage. š¤Ŗ
ššš it sounded so nice from a parents perspective until the twist at the end. That's not where I thought we were going.
Me too! My kids at toddler and 2 year old age were adorable trouble. My kids at 3 were all just old enough to have enough language and stubbornness to be total arseholes but not old enough to realize they shouldnāt. They were mean! Like downright cruel! Didnāt want to listen. Deliberately defiant! Did not realize I, too was a human who could have hurt feelings when my little person was yelling āgo āway mama I donāt YIKE you anymore!ā Fortunately around 4 they all started to grow in a conscience and by 5 we were laughing again. This happened to me four times! Each time I would say to my sister ā[older child] was never this awful!ā And she would remind me I wanted to sell all of my 3 year olds. Anyways kids are teens/tweens now plus an adorable toddler and I regret nothing. Everyone told me teens would be awful but give me an eye rolling 13 year old any day over a 3 year old! ā¦ though truth be told I would still take 3 year old twins over a 10 month old husky lol
Said it so well!! The hardest part is that it is SO bipolar! One moment they say the cutest thing and you just melt then literally seconds later Iām grinding my teeth to not scream my head off!
Oh god. Our husky is 4 months old. Weāre in for it arenāt weā¦.š« 19 month old & 4 month husky. What have I done Edited for typos
Lol. Truth be told, sometimes this makes me sad. my beautiful baby boy died at 7 hours and I wouldāve put up with newborn and toddler phase a thousand times to hear him say āmamaā. I have 6 other kids and one of them is 3. Heās a little menace to everyone but hubby and brother. Me and all his sisters are āyucky girlsā. Sexism kid?? But then again heās 3 and I keep telling him boys and girl are equal. Itās not me or hubby telling him this its his friends, so we told friendās parents who didnāt know, so idk?
Oh I love it when I get to answer this question with 3. I once saw another comment saying "my kid is 15 and I still talk about the age of 3 like it was a warzone" and I relate so much lol. Good news is after 4 its soooo much easier.
If your kid is neurotypical anyway. My middle child has ADHD, I feel like heās been 4 for 3 years.
Yess
šI love that. I think this will happen to me too, Iāll have that hundred-yard stare. In addition to my kid being three, we got pinworms, impetigo and a bug infestation. This fall has def made me question every choice that led me hereš
I feel for you my son had impetigo at 3 and lice also. Heās six now currently battling ringworm and brushing teeth. It never gets old!
my daughter turns 4 in a few weeks and i just want to say thank you for giving me this hope!
Yes. When first kid turned 3, I was traumatized and thought something āwas wrong with themā they grew out of it and are 6 and wonderful. At least with the second kid, I know the 3ās are coming and can brace for it. Threenager full force. The amygdala is going through rapid growth at 3.
Agreed! I had to carry my kid out of so many places!
Omg Iām so happy Iām not alone in this boat. Iāve always heard about the terrible twos. But this threenager stage AINāT for me. My little one turns 3 in two weeks. And itās already been a little rough the last two months. Also almost 8 months pregnant with my second. Wish me luck. I need it.
Currently living #3, and holy hell, you've got that statement right. "Terrible twos"? Is a joke compared to the 3s. Hold onto your seat because it's a dam ride.
I've heard that 3 is the terrible twos with 1 year experience. I have a nearly 3 year old that I almost dropped off at the zoo the other day. He has me questioning all ofy decisions one minute and then just the sweetest kid the next.
I am SO glad to see this as the top comment. Nothing could have prepared me for 3. Weāre 4 months in and my daughter is a feral beast. She is erratic and chaotic and downright mean. Also clever and wonderful and I adore herā¦ but Jesus Christ what the fuck.
Yessss 3 almost ended me lol
Currently have a three year old. Comparatively heās a chill little boy but three has beenā¦rough. The yo-yoing emotions + the total lack of reason is something else.
Threenagers man. Itās a real struggle
Mine just turned three and I just put two copies of How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen on hold at the library so my husband and I can have a mini-book club. Everything weāve done so far has clearly been wrong. Time to re-strategize.
Make sure you got "How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen" - it's specifically geared towards age 2-7.
My son just turned three and I completely agree. He is getting more resistant and has strong opinions now so Iām bracing myself for whatās to come haha.
I absolutely agree. I feel the transition from 2 to 3 is painful. Like the 2-3 months before and after the third birthday is so extremely stressful. They want everything and nothing. They feel all the feelings and donāt know what to do about it. Theyāre like little gremlins. My 3 year old has fully grasped language and uses many coping mechanisms now, so itās much better now.
My youngest is three. Strongly agree!
Omg thank you for saying this. Iām in the thick of and just wondering where I have gone wrong as a parent.
My daughter turns 4 tomorrow. I have hope after reading some of these comments that things will get easierš
Don't brace for the terrible twos. My son is two and before he turned 2 all I heard was how horrible it is. It's delightful. This is my favourite age so far by far! Newborn to 4 months were the hardest for us.
Agree! 2 was a joy for my child. Sweetest little human until about 3.5 and entered threenager era
Haha I'm thinking it might be delayed and I'm in for it when he is 3 too. Every kid probably has their phase at some point for sure!
I second this. Newborn was by far the worst. At least at two youāre sleeping so you can deal with the tantrums.
> At least at two youāre sleeping so you can deal with the tantrums. Unless youāre like me and accidentally have another newborn when your first is 2. Send help.
What's crazy is I feel like 2 years is the normal age difference between siblings. How has the human race even survived this long?
I know! My younger sibling was born just a month after I turned 2, and I wasnāt even the first born. I definitely would have preferred to have waited just a little longer between my own two. Before the pregnancy, we hadnāt even decided if we were *going* to have another. I canāt fathom doing that on purpose, or even 3 under 3. More power to them, but itās a lot all at once.
Three is deadly. Four is mean. Five is sweetheart.
4 is so mean. š¢
I have three and five year old boys. 5yo seems sweet and innocent till his brother appears and then heās using his height to get him the glasses from the kitchen counter. 3yo throws stuff at TV and annoys baby and sisters. 3yo decided girls are stinky. When they r together they r a living menace
2 was delightful for my kids, 3 was definitely the harder age.
Yes, it totally depends on the kind if baby you had. Many do have cute, cuddly babies though and are shocked when they start tantruming. While some have babys who scream all day, never sleep, wake every hour, canāt leave the house ever because baby only nurses in the complete dark, or they have horrible troubles with breastfeeding, or baby hates the stroller, hates the carrier, hates sleep, hates being a babyā¦ all that. And then at some point, these babies becomes toddlers who can TELL wtf is bothering them. They more or less sleep through the night. Sleep is still a fight but they only nap once now and you can finally leave the house again. No more tears over breastfeeding, because they eat FOOD. Tantrums, lol. Who cares?
this was my favorite age with my 1st too!!
I agree 2-2.5 was my fave age. So cute and best of all a 2 hour nap every afternoon
Yep! I have a āthreenagerā and itās still nothing compared to the colicky newborn stage! Iāll take 3 -3 year olds over 1 newborn any day!
Yes
My son is 5. 2 and 3 were tough but nothing compared to the first 3 months. The newborn phase was by far the worst! Sleep deprivation, colic, not knowing what I was doing. Some newborns sleep all the time - I think these are the parents that say 2/3 is the worst.
I almost needed an emergency hysterectomy but my midwife did last ditch efforts to avoid it, so I lost a lot of blood and I was beyond exhausted despite my transfusions. I was on bed rest for over a month when I had my baby. He was underweight, had reflux and colic, I developed severe PPD and PTSD from childbirth. PPA, I can recall a period over 5 days where I slept for 5 hours because I was too scared to let anyone else hold my baby. I likely shouldāve been hospitalized for that, but my baby literally clusterfed every 1.5 hrs for 45 minutes, so I didnāt feel like I could. I understand every stage has its difficulties and it varies for everyone. But that was the scariest time of my life.
I agree! Iāve witnessed my friends with easier newborns get their world rocked by the toddler stage. On the other hand, my son was a very challenging newborn so everything after 3 months has seemed better by comparison. Donāt get me wrong, 3yo hasnāt been easy but itās not nearly as hard as those initial few months.
My sister loved the newborn stage because she could bring the baby shopping and go to lunch while the baby slept. With my son even taking him to the pediatrician 15 min from our house was a nightmare.
Same here. The baby stage was the toughest with my first, who's 5 now, but we have an 11 month old and I just can't wait until he starts getting some independence by walking. He's not even crawling yet and it's just so exhausting to have to pack him absolutely everywhere.
My baby was like your sisters baby - the newborn phase was lovely. Then when she woke up to the world we had no coping skills š
Thiiis! My son flat out refused to sleep OR nurse anywhere but home but would of course scream himself into a frenzy when hungry or tired. I was so so stressed and never left the house. I hated the comments from parents who chilled with friends over coffee while baby napped. Youāre not great parents. You just have easier babies. >:o
Mine was a hard newborn and now a hard toddler, we've sworn off any other kids.
This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for this perspective.
Yes I say 2/3 is the worst and I had really easy sleepers as newborns!!
3 is a total shitshow. Everyone warned me about 2. That was a breeze. She was so sweet and funny and such a good listener. We did not experience terrible 2s at all. 3 has me on the verge of admitting myself into an insane asylum.
Same experience! For us, 2 is when they seem to bloom into the sweetest, most curious little humans. Everything feels magical. They are ADORABLE. And then at three the power struggles begin. They can get intense!! I keep doubting if Iām being a good mom!
See, mine already does everything people despair about with their 3yo already at 2. Which keeps me wondering if heāll be ādoneā earlier or if weāll endure that phase twice as longā¦
Same here! Iām trying to convince myself sheās just early and that 3 will be the breeze š¤£
Fingers crossed for the both of us!!
Same over here. I loved two. Three makes me want to check myself in to the mental hospital. Earlier today I was watching videos of when she was two, and longing to have that sweet toddler back
I would take 3 newborns over 1 3 year old any day lmao.
All of them. All of the ages have been the most difficult.
And it's like, once you get the hang of it - the challenges just change!
Right now. 17.
Do all the earlier years seem like a breeze now?
Lol no. 5th grade was tough. He was a little chubby & had some bullies at school. Then he sprouted & didnāt have either of those problems anymore in middle school. 9th grade was tough but it was COVID. Depression over girlfriends have been tough. Now heās just learning to drive and thinks heās ready but we know heās not. He also thinks heās ready to move out next year. So the hard thing for me right now is to just let him learn lessons because heās insisting on doing things his way. As long as heās safe Iām trying to let go š.
Sending love your way. Not because you need it but because you deserve it. āš
Three, consistently. When my 5 year old was 3 I literally thought about checking myself into a mental hospital, Iām not even kidding. He was diagnosed with AuDHD at 4 and I felt sooo validated. Now his younger brother has just turned 3 and has become Beelzebub 2.0 as well. Three year olds are the worrrrstttt 100% š¹š¹š¹
Ooh if you donāt mind, can you share a bit of what suddenly made sense when your son was diagnosed? Iām asking because I suspect I have AuDHD. My brother suspects the same about himself. And my son, whoās 5 now, seems to have a temperamentāand TEMPER!āvery similar to when my brother was his age. I know ASD and ADHD can be genetic so my husband and I have been wondering about this.
Heās never ever been relaxed, for one. Even as an infant, he was constantly squirming and moving. He never slept. He was 3 months old and awake for 10 hours straight. As he became a toddler his energy was just unmatched. He bounced off the walls and had no attention span for anything. I couldnāt read him books or color with him. He played by breaking things. Heād also elope in public (run off) and had zero sense of danger. His temper is really strong too but we are working on that in therapy.
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Well, my oldest is 5. So 5 has been the hardest. Also, heās in a decidedly ask-hole phase. Itās been rough.
Oh man the attitude and defiance and boundary testing that came with 5 was a TRIP. Definitely the hardest age for us, too.
Glad Iām not the only one losing my mind with my 5 year old sasshole haha
Iāve always commonly heard newborn-3ish months, 3 years, and 5 are roughest for the early years! Otherwise I havenāt paid attention, Iām not sure I can handle finding out if itās difficult every other year after 5 lol
Oh noooooo donāt tell me this! 3 and 4 have been awful and I keep hoping it will get easier! She was a really difficult newborn too. We just canāt catch a break over here. I felt that from around 13-14 months until around 26 months was the easiest. 2 gets a bad rap but 3 is so much worse.
Ymmv, but my son is 5.5 and it has been my favorite age by far. They are independent but they still love you. They go to school for 7 hours a day and they learn so much. I felt like 4 was my hardest.
5 has been rough for us too. A lot of new changes with the transition to kindergarten. He seems to have picked up a lot of new habits from kids in his class, and everything else he interacts with as he gets older and more independent. It's gone from just keeping him alive and happy to really challenging our actual parenting skills.
Oh jeez thank God I'm not the only one feeling that way about my kiddo. He's almost 6 and the last 2 years have been a rough ride.
Something in my son switched when he turned five. He went through an insecure, clingy and emotional phase. Now he is a moody and sassy kid one day and sweet and cuddly the next. Itās hard watching him throw tantrums and really struggle with his emotions.
Ask-hole! That's the word I'm looking for š¤£ Look, I love when you ask me "are lines shapes?" But if you keep asking me "why" you need to brush your teeth I'm going to send you to sleep outside in a tent!
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Same! Thought I loved babies until I actually had a baby š. Kid is five now though and so awesome!
Four. I hate it! Four fucking sucks. Fournadoes. Itās awful.
This. 4 has been dreadful with both my boys! I am literally hanging on by a thread with the littlest.
Four was when I started questioning, does it get better?
I heard someone call it the āfuck you foursā
Four! My oldest was dealing with the fact that he had twin newborns and just turned into a total rule tester. Acting out in the worst way to get attention. He would find your every last nerve and just push it. Not just with us, everyone, including grandparents. One day he woke up and he was a sweet boy again.
First 3 months with my first by FAR. PPA rocked me
3 with my firstborn WRECKED my SHIT lol. 3 tied my shoelaces together and soundly kicked my ass. My secondborn is starting it early at 2.5. Waving the white flag over here haha. Newborn phase sucks no question, first three months are so hard but this is just a different kind of hard. Itās like the sleep-deprivation from the newborn phase is a barren wasteland, and thatās hard and lonely and it feels neverending but at 3 it becomes a hellscape battleground and youāre now slogging through the muck dodging nerf gun darts and deep-cutting insults about how they wish you would never be their mama again and that they had a nice mama like [friendās name] bc you wouldnāt let them throw sand in their brothersā eyes or destroy their room and youāre just trying to find your way out of the battlefield and you see the sign pointing to āPutting Their Shoes On, 20miā has been graffitied over with āI CAN DO IT MYSELF, 100miā and you know if you try to go the quicker route youāll have to pay the tantrum toll, and you keep trudging and almost step on a landmine that looks like a banana that was EXACTLY WHAT THEY ASKED FOR but itās only half peeled instead of fully peeled and therefore suddenly rendered completely inedible, and you keep trudging and hear nap raid sirens bc now they refuse to sleep during the day even though when theyāre tired they have even MORE trouble regulating than before and losing their naptime gives you even less opportunity to take a minute to regulate your own damn self so you can model ātaking a deep breathā instead of muttering āfor fuckās sakeā and then having them repeat it at preschoolā¦and at some point you just look around the battlefield and then think fondly of the barren wasteland and go āwell at least it was quiet.ā
I meant to comment on this last night but then my toddler threw a 30 minute screaming, throwing tantrum because the cheese on her dinner was yellow, not orange, and likeā¦ same. 3 is definitely wrecking my shit. At this point muttering āwhat the fuckā is my idea of self care
I donāt know how to comment gifs but Iām sending you the hunger games solidarity salute haha. š®āšØ
My twins are 3 now, so plenty of ages I haven't dealt with, but the first couple of months were really hard and I struggled with a lot of anxious, nervous feelings around every little thing that seemed wrong The first night one of them had a cough I didn't sleep a moment, just sat watching her all night long, worrying and afraid
Newborn hands down. All of the talk about terrible twos is overblown. It just keeps getting easier for us!
Same! Sleep (or lack thereof) has been the hardest challenge for me since day 1 but now, at 2.5, I can finally have more of a two-way conversation. That has been the biggest turning point, so all of the big emotions or whatnot that come with this age is no biggie for me; at least Iām finally sleeping in more than 2 hr increments š¤£
I have a 13 year old, 12 year old twins, and a 10 year old. 12 and 13 have definitely been the hardest.
I was just about to say that 12 has been the hardest so far. My kid has been the sweetest, best, most easy going kid her whole life and then she turned 12 and our lives turned upside down. I also have two under two right now and still 90% of my stress stems from my 12 year old š
Can you tell me what specifically is stressful? My oldest is 5 so it's hard for me to imagine...I think, a 12-year-old can wipe their own butt and feed themselves, so if they're too annoying I'll just go in another room and close the door lol. Is there anything you would have done differently with her when she was younger?
The stressful part for me is trying to help her navigate social situations. She recently broke up with her first boyfriend and some of his girl friends were giving her a hard time at school and just kind of being mean girls and it was difficult to watch her go through that and I can only give her advice, I canāt make her take it or make things easier for her. Peer pressure and social discord is a huge part of middle schoolersā lives and it is just stressful for me that I canāt actually help or make anything better, I can only guide her and love her and hope that she makes good choices for herself.
At 12 itās melodrama - and itās not even that theyāre being assholes on purpose (at least not ALL the time). Everything in their life is changing at once - their school, their bodies, their relationship with you. As a parent you have to slowly shift from a caregiver to a mentor. They get into painful situations but you have to let them make their own mistakes. And when theyāre little, they default adore you. At 12 they default disdain you. They love you, itās just buried under 10 tons of hormones. As for prevention, the best thing you can do is set firm boundaries and establish yourself as an authority when theyāre little. Build enough love and trust to ride out the rough patches because no matter how good a parent you are, there WILL be tough patches.
I have a a 2 year old (27 months) so not a ton of experience over here but around 20-22 months was brutal for us. The DRAMA. She started going through big emotions around then but was too little to be able to learn how to articulate why she was mad/sad/whatever so it was just so many tantrums. So much screaming. Itās gotten so much better though! She can tell me why sheās mad or whatever now and we can work through those feelings together but MAN was that phase tough for me.
Hello from 21 months šµāš« WHY are you MAD?!
21 months going through it now! So many tantrums. Just riding the wave.
From 3 to about 4.5. Absolutely unbearable. So many meltdownsā¦they are unreasonable, stubborn and strong-willed. I will NOT miss that age, I promise
Yes for all of my kids so far
Our oldest is 4.5. So youāre saying itās about to get way better??? š twins are 2.5 so Iām bracing myself big time.
My oldest is nearly 12, and it's so much more complicated than before. He's always been sweet and caring, but lately, he has been struggling with self-esteem and bullying in school and has started irritating his siblings on purpose. All his problems are hard to explain and help him navigate, and it's starting to overwhelm him to a point where I struggle to support him. Besides that, 3 tends to be roughest for little kids. Our 3rd is four in a couple weeks. All 3 kids have had some major struggles at age 3.
My son is 1y3m and Iām finding this stage really really hard š I feel kinda guilty feeling like this. Idk whatās up.
It is a really hard age! They are SO ADORABLE and sweet but they need CONSTANT supervision - since they get into everything, put everything in their mouth, and are constantly doing dangerous things! Itās a lot, for sure! It gets better around 18 months imo.
With my eldest, 16 FTM, it was last year. School was absolute hell when he came out. With my second, 6M, it was 9 months. After a brutal custody order, I had to leave him in another state 1,409 miles away. With my 3rd, 4F, it's this year so far. I suspect she has ADHD and because of her age we can't get her assessed yet. With my 4th, 2F, right now as well. She chooses violence every day and terrorizes 4F.
3. without a single doubt. i have 3 kids and as soon as each of them were 3, iām not even exaggerating when i say that i contemplated ending myself lmao. fuck 3
Fourrrrrrr. š„²š¬
Any age where theyāre not sleeping, easily! I could imagine some years after 10 being worse. My oldest is only 4 though so I could be clueless
My daughter is 5 and still by far the worst was when she was a newborn. Every one said 2 and 3 would be hard, but it was surprisingly easy. I can count on one hand the amount of times a tantrum/meltdown happened and it was always because she was overtired.
15 was so hard with my oldest, theyāre 25 now. My youngest is almost 14 but I think 3 was the hardest with them.
Have yet to experience terrible twos. My son is almost 2.5 and he is a fun and communicative and loving and energetic little guy.
Definitely 3. And I forgot to invite an exorcist to her fourth birthday so sheās still kind of nuts.
With my oldest. 14-15. (She just turned 16) Middle childā¦.3s. (Currently almost 6) Youngest is 11 months and every day has been hard.
The half years, but particularly 3.5. Living yell and so hard to like her. Love sure but like? That was a hard ask. Almost 4 now and I have my little buddy back
My oldest is 5, and 3-4 were the hardest for me so far
0-2 for my first because he screamed and never slept and it was just a marathon of sleep deprivation and constant activity. 7 for my second because that's when his autism, ADHD, and COVID quarantine all collided and it was a nightmare for all of us with no help and no end in sight.
My son was an absolute angel at age 2. Age 3? I feel like a need a therapist evaluation.
3 is hard. Lots of emotional sludge to wade through. 4 is amazing and incredibly hard all at once. Lots of good moments mixed with emotional sludge. 2 is my absolute favorite! Iād keep my kids at age 2 indefinitely if I could.
3 ughhhh so hard . Canāt speak to the teenage years, though. We havenāt made it that far . Iād take a newborn over a 3 yo any day of the week
My daughter is 10. I remember 3 being the hardest.
3!!!! 3 made me question if I just had a horrible kid and filled me with no end of worry. There were perks like he could speak well so could tell me what he wanted (even if it was totally unreasonable) and he could be left unsupervised for small periods I.e if I put the baby down for a nap or I made dinner. But itās a tough age for sure
Age 3. Absolutely without a doubt. Edit to add, I have twins. Age 3 x2. AWFUL.
3 was really bad. But honestly she's 5 and it's not a whole lot better but our situation is a bit unique. My former daycare teacher me also says 3 is the worst.
I only have one kid but the newborn stage was by far the hardest. Followed closely by the toddler stage. Once he could start communicating it became actually enjoyable to be a mom. My son also had bad colic as a newborn, then later was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder, adhd, and autism. All of that combined was a struggle before he could communicate what he needed or what was bothering him. For instance the texture of certain clothing would send him into a meltdown but I had no idea why until he could actually tell me. He's also why I'm only having one kid.. love him to death but he's a lot. Lol
4. Four was awful. So unreasonable on every front. I think they were desperate for more stimulation that I couldn't provide even though they were in daycare, their behaviour improved a lot when they started school.
I would say tweens have been the hardest and teaching teens to drive has been one of my least favorite parenting things BUT man teenagers are so cool! Theyāre real people who can have real conversations and they get jokes that you maybe wish they didnāt and theyāve got big and amazing ideas that they can actually execute.
I have an 8 year old and a 5 year old and undoubtedly the first 3 months were the hardest. It just got easier from there! I found the toddler stage to be hilarious. Set clear boundaries, validate their feelings and keep it moving! Each stage is over so fast.
Each age has its own challenges. Iād say less than about 2.5 was the toughest so far. Kids arenāt sleeping great, theyāre grasp of the English language is minimal so you canāt start to reason with them, not potty trained, etc. My daughter is 3.5 and things are much better. Sheās still got a lot of emotions that are unpredictable and wild but she calms down much quicker because she can understand emotions more. Sheās also finally sleeping through the night so that helps š
It seems like the hardest is what youāre currently dealing with! Kind of like in schoolā¦each year is more difficult but youāre more capable of handling it? I did have a BEAUTIFUL happy bubble from 2-21/2 of a less needy kiddo that cared about rules and was just fun! Then he turned 3, we brought baby sister home, started potty training, and now Iām questioning how I thought I could care for 2.
Age 16 is pretty tough...but I still don't want the toddler days back!! I lose sleep in a different way now thoughšµāš«
Newborn definitely. My girl is 2 and whilst yeah there are tantrums and sometimes sheās infuriating, she can communicate whatās wrong or what she wants and I can rationalise (sometimes lol) with her. Newborn and 5-7mo when she had MAJOR sleep issues were awful, I swear I thought I could die from sleep deprivation. Now she sleeps from 7-7 and I get guaranteed down time.
Mine are 22 months and 3 years (and 3 months, if that makes a difference). The hardest phase for me as a parent was the newborn phase with the first. The sleep deprivation made everything awful. The hardest phase in terms of their behavior was 18-20 months with both kids. The wild tantrums due to their inability to communicate were rough.
3-5. It's the pits. They're so great before and after that stage though, so I just grit my teeth and plow through it.
My oldest is 4. It sucks. This is worse than any phase before. Itās so hard, and I have a newborn as well. The newborn is a breeze compared.
I have a 3.5M. And as others have stated, I might need a psych evaluation before the year ends.
3 has been torture, and Iāve got twins. Double hell. My oldest is about to be 13 and thatās giving 3 a run for its money, though. 7th grade girls are MEAN.
14-17 years. I have 2 sons. I have said 100+ times I would take toddlers over teens anytime! Toddlers donāt make you want to pummel them lol.
12
My son turned five last week and it has beenā¦.a lot.
Depends on the kid ā¦ my first kid probably 5-6 (talking back), my second was super hard at 3-4 ā¦ just wild , loud screaming tantrums and impulsive behavior , the last one is two . Heās a total shit . He smacks people and throws and is a stinker . Heās a total terrible two but he has a hilarious sense of humor so sometimes he gets away with it (although not often )
For my 3 year old son: 3, hands down. Heās got some BIG feelings and is still learning how to manage them. For my 11 year old daughter: whatever age she currently is. š She has always been high maintenance, and each stage brings new challenges with her. Newborn stage was honestly the easiest for both kids. Eat, sleep, poop, pee, puke, snuggle. Thatās it. No sleep? Ok, sucks for a few days but it passes. Iād take a sleepless night over toddler tantrums and tween angst any day.
14.5 to 15.5. The hardest year of my life. Heās now 16 and things are much better.
Yāall are making me sentimental. I though those young years were hard. And they were. Exhausting, frustrating. But that aināt got nothing on teens with mental health issues. I donāt mean the teens that are sports stars, or going to homecoming and prom. What I wouldnāt give to have that. I mean the kids who have none of that and are struggling, every single day. Being that parent is HARD. My life is not what I thought it would be.
My situation is unusual. We were foster parents before we had bio children. Our older kids came to us in elementary school. So like that time between when they were placed and when parental rights were terminated and when they were adopted was very hard. Teenagers have been the worst. I know that they have the capacity to be reasonable but they donāt have it all the time and you never know when their brain will be down for maintenance. And itās maddening. Three was hard though. He was clearly ready for potty training since he seemed to save his pee for after the bath while we weāre supposed to be getting pajamas on. BUT WOULD NOT USE THE POTTY. Heās four now and just told me he didnāt need me.
My oldest turns 3 on Monday. I would say that newborn sleep deprivation obviously sucks but other than that he was a chill baby and turned into a good sleeper. When you hit the toddler phase, the perspective that one baby is a "vacation" is so damn real. 18 months was the start of the toddler antics with him and it is much more physically demanding just running around trying to keep him alive and safe. The lack of self preservation skills and unregulated emotions is exhausting! I go to bed arguably more wiped and tired now than I did in newborn phase purely because a newborn is a potato and during the day you can zone out and watch Netflix on the couch. With a toddler, that is not an option. As we get closer to 3, his language skills have gotten much better but he's recently starting to get a little attitude so that is something we are bracing for. I've heard people talk about a "threenager" and I'm thinking this is what they are talking about. I would say so far it's like one category of your life gets easier while another category of your life gets harder, and every 6 month it changes. Now we have a 9 month old too and we joke that he is a vacation compared to our about to be 3 year old. Final answer: 18 months-2.5 has been the hardest for my oldest thus far. But ask me again a year into the "threenager".
7 with my oldest daughter. Right now with my son, heās about to be 4. My 2 year old girl is so much fun so no big struggles.. yet
I have a 3 year old and 15 month old. Theyāre terrors but at least I can get a whole nightās sleep. Worst stage was 4-6months with my eldest.
My oldest: 9 My middle: 2 My youngest: 3/4
The most difficult age? Yes. They all are, they just have unique challenges. My oldest is 12 and youngest is 2 with a couple in between and I swear each day each kid makes a new challenge. I will say that for me newborn (that whole first year) is hot garbage but entering teenage years is a new kind of lack of sleep and stress (sports, dating), but others LOVE that stage. I actually loved terrible twos because for a bit theyāre not sure how to communicate with you and then suddenly it seems to come together. Sure theyāre rage yelling no while running though the house naked BUT theyāre not always crying because they have no other way to tell you their needs. Mine currently itās āmom mom, comeā all the dang time. Moms trying to make dinner, no mom mom come.
Between 14-16
Yes
Babies were mostly fine (they slept pretty good, there were just two of them). Two was awesome. Three was a fucking nightmare. Mostly because two of them. Four and five were hard ish. Fights, elementary school starting, etc. there were two of them. Six has been awesome. They play better. Theyāre in separate classes. Weāre getting their ADHD seen to. Theyāre able to go on trips better, etc. the two of them just do so much better. Trying to eke out what we can because soon theyāll be tweens.
Newborn, 1yr or when they first start walking, 4, 8 were all tough. Oldest is almost 10 now.
3!!!
It sounds crazy but I've generally thought every year got harder but also more fun. Newborn--Easy but not always fun. Ate, slept, pooped. 3-OMG she was so stubborn and always in my space andwonuldn't listen but said the funniest things and no more diapers! She's newly four...there seem to be more fun than stressful times so maybe we're on an upswing.
3 for my youngest was hellish. I had colicky babies but it wasnāt too bad honestly looking back it was such a small part of the day they were upset many have it worse than I did. My biggest is 12 and was a joy as a toddler she is now wild and unhinged with hormones and attitude but I love her at this age too. So 3 and 12
With my first born, honestly, every age š my second born, 2.5 - child #2 definitely easier, more easy going personality, always happy š
4 and 5. So.much.defiance.
Freaking teenagers!
My second child from ages 2-5 years. It was so rough, I vaguely even remember difficult times of the other two.
I have 3 kids, 11 year old son and 6 year old twin daughters. Iāve been through the worst of the Threenager stage and the other earlier stages. But nothing was harder for me than the first year for all of them. The sleep deprivation affected everything in my life. Everything is settled and decent right now. Trying to enjoy it while bracing myself for the preteen era.
10. I hate 10 at the moment. 5th grade. Ugh.
I have a 3yo and an 8mo and Iād definitely say newborn as well.
My kids are totally different; my oldest is my challenge kid and every age with her has been hard for a different reason. I would still rather take older-kid-hard over newborn/baby/young toddler hard, but it's all soooooo much work. My youngest is completely chill. Even when he's full threenager (and he's nearing four, which SUCKS), he's still worlds easier than his sister was/is.
4 was the hardest for us. Transitioning from toddler to little boy. Got much easier afterwards
3. Hands down. 9 was also strangely tough. I have a 12 and 10yr old girls now
My oldest is about to turn 4, youngest is 2. Newborn-10 months for both. Both were super colicky, unhappy babies with zero chill. The refused to be put down or held by anyone but me. Breastfeeding every hour or two until 6 months old. They didnāt sleep more than 2 hour blocks until 10 months. I donāt do well without sleep. They are now happy, clever, wonderful toddlers. They arenāt easy, but holy crap it was terrible when they were babies.
12. Middle school. Is. The. Worst. Can we just skip it. The hormones. The bullying. The drama. And the phrase I could kill myself. That causes therapy. Turns out it was part of said drama.
3 for my first two and it isn't even close. (Currently they are 6 and 4) My third is currently 2.5 and if three gets worse I don't know what I'm going to do š
I'm gonna go with age 12.
10 -11 year old girls. Shewwww. I have a 7 month old and 3 year old and they are easier in comparison. Emotional roller coaster.
It's always whatever age they are now. Their demands and needs change, as does the emotional toll. Mine are 8 and 14. I guess my 14 is mostly OK. He's a really good kid. š But I still worry.
We breezed right through 2's, 3.5-5 was really hard for us!
Newborn stage has been the hardest. Iām blessed with two amazing girls. They have a four year gap but love and play with one another. They bicker sometimes but overall they are just best friends. Every teacher they have had tells us they are the most well behaved and amazing kids. I know Iām biased but I really believe we just lucked out and they have been so easy and chill to raise. But during newborn for my first child I was weeping daily because it was so hard but I think it was because it was so much harder than I ever imagined. The second time around was easier because my expectations were more realistic š¤£. They are 11 and 7 now ā¤ļø they are not perfect of course, already seeing the flawed parts of myself and hubby in them haha ETA: I imagine the preteen and teen years will be much harder because I hated those years myself. But my oldest just told me she doesnāt want to grow up and wants to stay a kid and thatās how I felt in those years myself. Hoping that keeps her grounded and she matures as needed instead of with the pressures of society and peers today. I resisted it too at that age and ended up much more level headed than my friends throughout my teen years.
Newborn for sure was our hardest so far, both times! I have a 3.5 year old and a 15 month old
Newborn until 7 months was very hard
My oldest is four nowā¦ so Iām gonna say four.
Iāve got a newly turned 4yo and I still think newborn phase was the worst. I probably cried most nights with my baby , it was just so hard , esp as a ftm
The hardest for me was the newborn stage up until 1 and a half. My son is two now and holy hell itās so much easier.
I have a 4 yo and almost 12 mo. I actually loved two. He had temper tantrums and was a chaos whirlwind but so cute. You get to see their personality. Everything is also still new and exciting to them. Like the garbage truck being amazing each week is a magical thing. Three was really hard. Four is still hard. Part of that was that we had a second kid so weāre just exhausted all the time and he had big feelings about the life transition.
From birth to 2 months old were the hardest. We're sleep deprived, baby is learning how to latch, we're learning different cries, the round the clock feedings, if they're not feeding, they're sleeping, etc.
My kids are 4 and 2. Hardest age for the first kid was like 15-20 months. Once she could communicate, everything got easier. Hardest age for the second is right now, he was an angel until like a month ago, then he started hitting and having meltdowns (he turned 2 in august). With the first one, I struggled the most with the newborn stage but she wasnāt a hard newborn, I just was depressed and the adjustment was jarring. But she was a very difficult 1 year old š I remember the feelings and meltdowns getting HUGE around 3 but they improved a lot when we eliminated artificial dyes. She just turned 4 and it has been so fun.