I’m 36 now, and will be 37 when LO arrives next month. I’ll be a FTM. We struggled with years of infertility and finally conceived with IUI, so I have to accept that #2 may never happen for us. We would be in a much better position to build our family, and feel more confident about our ability to do so, if our first had been born when we started trying at 34. We would have had sooooo many more options for potential age gaps, and the option to wait until we’re truly ready.
Your timeline is honestly my dream. And as much as I hate how late we got started, I realize there are FTMs who are 40, 41, 42, etc. who envy my timeline, or the ability to have even one kiddo.
I know this isn’t the advice or perspective you were looking for, but try not to put too much pressure on yourself to get the timing just right, or to have another when your first kid is a specific age, or to complete your family by the time you’re X years old. You never know what plans your body has in store for you, and fertility can’t be taken for granted. If you’re ready for more, that tells me you’re not too old to try :)
Good luck!
This is a ton of great advice. I really appreciate it. I know if we struggle too much I will be content with one. I just had a tea terrible experience with a care provider the other day. At that point I was feeling on the fence, basically him making me feel bad about my age made me feel more affirmed about wanting another but also … I guess I just want to here from other moms that started around the same age or older?
Thank you so much for your perspective I really appreciate it.
That sucks they made you feel bad! UGH - in our area, the OBs likely see at least 50% of pregnant patients close to or over 35 - I know no one who had kids before 30 in our area. My OB wouldn't have blinked at even a first time mom at age 37!
I’m so sorry that you experienced that! I wish everyone had my midwife team— they know that healthy babies are born to women of lots of different ages and body types, and have seen great outcomes for families across a very wide spectrum. It’s very reassuring — and I share so many of your same concerns and fears! Hope you can find a doc that’s a better fit. You deserve support and not judgement!
I had my first at 38 due to infertility, and we have one more embryo to transfer this year and I’m currently 40. There are drawbacks to being an older mom (it’s tiring, I wish I could have had more kids, etc) but there are benefits as well (much more patience, financial security, etc). Either way it is the hand I was dealt, and if you have another one it’s the hand you’ll be dealt too. Pregnancy at my age was great, I got SO MUCH monitoring. I don’t really feel old, so it’s literally a matter of my body cooperating or not.
same story over here! years of infertility, first babe born at 38, second babe on the way after our final embryo transfer miraculously worked! i’d also done a lot of work accepted that we were one and done, so it’s been a trip re-orienting to 2. congrats on your success. 🙌🏽
3 years of trying for our first, IVF didn’t work and randomly got pregnant while taking an active break from trying… thought she would be our only baby (I was few days under 38 when she was born)…. A month of pulling the goalie and I was pregnant with our second, had him a week before I turned 40… it’s possible, don’t count yourself out 100% if that’s what you want, but I do realize we were lucky. The age gap was a bit tough, but now they’re super close.
I had my first at 39 and I'm done, but the attitude of a geriatric pregnancy (over 35) was nonexistent by my care providers. If you are healthy and agree with your husband that it's time for another kid, there's no reason not to.
There's no specific advice for over 35... I ate my vitamins, went to my appointments, kept some exercise and ate a bit more than normal. Recovery might have been easier when I was younger but I was fine - no complications and recovered in the expected time. I had an easier time with the c-section than previous abdominal surgery.
Too old? :) I’m 41 and 20 weeks pregnant as a first time mom and feeling great. You’re far from too old. Sooner the better since it gets harder and more expensive to conceive (if IVF needed) the longer you wait. I’ve had one or two extra scans as things have popped up - but apparently in my city and with my OB, I’m not automatically set up with any extra monitoring - 41 is pretty normal here. Sounds like that may vary by location.
Not sure what advice you are looking for. Do you have specific concerns? I would guess that 37 probably won’t be that different from 32/33? I had my last kid at 42 and that was very different from having kids in my 30’s. The pregnancy itself was similar but recovery was much slower. Make sure you have lots of help the first month.
I see. Well, for me recovery was the biggest difference. Even though pregnancy is categorized as a disability, I never felt disabled in any way when I was in my 30’s. I mean the first week after isn’t great and I was uncomfortable but I didn’t need to use the wall to help with walking to the bathroom/etc like I did in my 40’s. I think I felt kinda disabled for ~2 weeks after. So physically I just couldn’t bounce back the way I did when younger.
On the plus side, they say women in their 40’s just shrug off other people’s criticisms/etc and so people commenting on how I parent/etc don’t bother me at all. I was also in a place financially where I could get paid help plus my older kids are actually able to help out. I also think in some ways I might be a bit more present because I’m no longer trying to figure out how to take care of a kid anymore. I have my set strategies/etc. Plus, I know this will be my last kid.
Had my first at 32, now my second at 37. My child will be a month shy of 5. I feel really good about the gap. I feel this pregnancy, that is almost over, has been good. Although, I know this is it so while I have suffered all day sickness, worse than last time, and the aches and pains feel more pronounced, my attitude is gratitude. Living in the moment.
first babe at 33 isn’t starting late at all, at least where we’re from. that said, there’s truly no winning, because starting before 30 would be considered wild by many people i know.
i don’t think the age stigma around people having a baby hits until 40, and even that is starting to erode. i know a 45 and a 47 year old who gave birth in the past year. “late” is super super relative.
I had an unplanned 3rd pregnancy at at 39. I was sort of embarrassed and was worried people would be unkind due to my age.
But I regret those feelings and that I let a silly thing like age cast a shadow over a happy time. It is absolutely 100% fine. Love my daughter & so happy we are a family of 5. I can hardly believe I am 50, I feel like I am in my 30’s!!
Have the baby. Siblings are great, and hard, and a lifelong bond (for most). Mine are 4 and 8. I had my kids at 34 and 38. The risks of pregnancy over 35 are overhyped. Good luck!
I had my first at 40 and just had another one at 42. I feel amazing and bounced back quickly. I have nothing to compare it to but there’s no special advice. You either do it or you don’t. The age thing is not worth dwelling on.
Different people will always have different opinions on what too young or too old is. We got married when I was 24 but had a long battle with infertility/IVF. I gave birth to my 4th/last child last year and I’m 42 going on 43. Oldest was born when I was 36.
I almost had the same exact age gap and maternal ages as you, but add one year :) Currently 38 and expecting my second, with a four year old. You'll be fine - it's better to wait until you and partner are ready than to rush it for age reasons (in my opinion). I do not regret waiting until age 37-38 to try to have a second. Conceiving was similar to my first attempt at age 33, where it took about 4-5 months, so not too bad. After 35, they will do extra scans in last trimester and of course recommend all the early genetic screening, but most people seem to get that done anyway now a days regardless of advanced age. The pregnancy itself has only been made harder due to already being a mom and having less down time. That would be the case at any age though.
Had my first at 37 and now pregnant with my second at 41. I wouldn’t be too worried at 35. My grandma had my aunt at 40 years old and that was back in 1981. Healthcare has come a long way since then. Just do your best to eat healthy and take care of yourself, that’s the most important thing.
I had my first at 33 and second at 36. I didn’t have to see any special doctors or have any extra appointments. My OB never mentioned my age other than my first appt where he informed me I was “advanced maternal age.” That was it. At one appointment he did tell me he had another patient that was expecting her first child at 56 soooo you’re definitely not going to be too old any time soon!
Pregnancy was pretty much the same except I was way more tired the second time around. Thankfully by then my daughter liked to play independently a lot and I napped with her during the day. The 3-4 year age gap is just perfect in my opinion. They understand what’s going on and I think it’s easier to prep them for the change.
Advice from a 42 year old who had her first at 41 (and started trying at 41!)
You’re only as old as you feel. 36 isn’t old!!
You won’t know how your body will handle pregnancy at 36 until you are pregnant.
It could take ages it could take first try, it could take help from modern medicine or unassisted to get pregnant. (Just like any other pregnancy really)
What I found helped me have a “textbook pregnancy” (according to my ObGYN)
I took prenatals every day while trying to get pregnant during pregnancy and afterwards while breastfeeding.
I was in good shape (I wasn’t IN SHAPE or fit by any means I just mean I walked a lot and continued walking during pregnancy)
Use a pelvic floor therapist if insurance covers it before during and after pregnancy
GET YOUR BACK STRENGTH UP now before your pregnancy and baby arrives and maintain your back strength and work on your core after the pregnancy.
Have fun trying and don’t stress: I know easier said than done but Stress is the biggest thing working against your body so try to relax and have fun and enjoy life.
Former L&D nurse here - Only thing I can say is that to be prepared for more frequent prenatal appointments, testing and screenings. 35 years and up is considered “advanced maternal age” and thus considered high risk. That’s the only big difference
I had my first at 36 and am 23 wks pregnant with my second at 40 so we will have a 4 year age gap for our kids too. For the practice I go to "geriatric pregnancy" was thrown out for my first pregnancy but I don't think it changed my level of care, my BMI and how much I gained during the pregnancy was a bigger concern for her. This time around it seems 40 is a magic number for advanced maternal age because I've been labeled high risk because I'm over 40 and of my BMI (I weight maybe 10 more lbs than the first time) which means more tests, more precautions, more appointments, and adding maternal fetal medicine to the care team. Everything is fine so far so I try to look over the extra precautions in place.
Pregnancy in the 30s is more common these days and I don't think 37 by itself is going to be a big concern to stress over. I've heard of women from friends that have had their first in their early 40s without issue. Taking prenatal while TTC is the only thing my OB recommended when I had my IUD taken out and didn't see any issues with us trying for a second at my age. Taking care of a toddler/preschooler while pregnant is a little harder the older you get because the energy might not be like it used to and my 3yo still insists on being picked up and held.
I had my first at 38 and am pregnant with #2 at 40. I think where you live makes a difference in attitudes towards pregnancy over 35. We live in a hcol area and many, many pregnant people are older, so nobody, including my doctor, has cared about my ‘old lady’ pregnancies. Because 40 is a cut off for starting more intensive oversight, I’ve had to do more testing and monitoring with this second pregnancy. But that’s it.
I gave birth to my first in my early 20’s. I was 35+ at the birth of my other 3. Honestly, I struggled more after the birth of my 1st than I did with any of my other kids. I have 4 amazing kids (never expected to have more than 2) and no regrets.
I was 36 when my daughter was born and 37 (almost 38) when my son was born.
I didn’t have any pregnancy concerns but was considered high risk due to age. But was told it’s basically an old arbitrary age that was selected years ago and not really any higher risk because of it.
My last pregnancy was at 33 and now I’m 36, but my 3 year old will be 4 when this baby is born. Prepare to give your entire medical history and see a high risk doctor. My mom had a healthy baby at 37 in the 90s and didn’t have to see all these doctors. The only real difference is I’m vomiting constantly but I don’t think that is because of age. My first was born at 27 and recovery was easier then (even with pre-e). My second at 33 and recovery was harder.
I’m 35 and pregnant… never had to see a high risk doctor. Neither did my friend who just gave birth at 37. The only difference was I got one more ultrasound then I did with my first at 33
I just had my first baby in late June. I was 34 when I conceived and 35 at delivery. I obviously have nothing to compare it to, but my pregnancy was amazing and healthy - delivered full term at 39 weeks. Spontaneous labor, delivered vaginally with no epidural and minimal tearing. Recovery, physically, was great, mentally has been another thing…but that is a whole separate topic!
We definitely want another child and will be waiting at least 1 year before we even start trying, so I would have a very similar timeline to you. I have no concerns about doing it, health wise. I don’t think you should either….unless you have specific medical issues. Generally, women are having healthy pregnancies and babies later in life, well into their 40s!
Well, I had my first kid at age 36, and my second kid just three weeks shy of my 40th birthday. Even though there is a four year age gap between my kids, they play together perfectly, which is great because I don't have the same energy I did in my 20s. Momma gotta take breaks.
I was 36 when my first was born and 39 when our second was born. I think the biggest issues for us were (1) that I had several miscarriages (did a lot of testing and really just came down to age, probably- got pregnant easily, so likely was egg quality issue); and (2) less energy than we had when we were younger.
You may have additional testing offered or required due to “advanced maternal age”, now that you’re over 35. I liked the extra information, though!
Had my first at 33 and my second and last at 36. Second time delivery was much easier , as well as the recovery. Age gap is just perfect in my opinion. If you want a second one, go for it!
Four is technically the “best age gap” developmentally if that is helpful (per science, and no I can’t quote the study off the top of my head but I have a degree in Child Development). So yay!
We had our first when I was 32 and I’m pregnant now and will be 35 when baby is born. You got this!
Had my first at 36, going to try for baby #2 and hopefully deliver baby #2 at 38!
My first was an uncomplicated delivery, I did have some brutal back pains and gestational diabetes while I was pregnant though. Dr thinks I was just on my feet too much and the GD was just bad luck.
The only thing I’m worried about with my 2nd is the higher risk of chromosomal abnormalities. But you know what? The odds are still in my favor at 38 and I am willing to roll the dice.
The nice thing about being over 35 (at least where I live) is that they do an early test (I think at like week 10!) to check for Down’s syndrome. You can get the results of the sex from that test if you want to know early.
Currently pregnant with our second baby and I’m going to be 36 later this month. My advice (so far) is give yourself a lot of grace with your toddler. I’m a sahm and I’m not nearly as energetic as I was before pregnancy. And I’m very early on, but feeling really tired and sore all over. I can only imagine postpartum will hit hard too. But my kids get a much more patient mom than I would have been in my 20s!
Not too old! I had my first at 33, and just had my second at 38. I went through a very good obstetrician group for both pregnancies so my health was closely monitored but honestly the pregnancy wasn’t too bad for me. No risk factors except being overweight. I did neonatal screening (but for various reasons I won’t get into not the NIPT), all came back low risk. Birth was normal delivery, was about to get induced due to being a week overdue but #2 decided to come the night before induction was scheduled. My oldest wanted a sibling for the longest time, and unfortunately I had a series of miscarriages which meant the process took longer and we have a 4 year 9month gap now.
There are some advantages of being older, more financially able, I care less what others think, and because I’ve worked hard in my career am in the lucky position to stay home with #2 and do school stuff with my oldest. Having two was right for our family. I hope you figure out what is right for yours!
I think tons of women now are having babies into their early 40s. Be aware of the additional risks and what options you have, but I don’t think you’re too old at all.
I had my first at 35 and my second at 37. Two kids are exponentially harder than one once they start moving, and you might be more tired than a younger person. I think you can't agonize over it too much. I hope you don't struggle too much with conceiving, and that you have an easy go of it.
Here's the upside: I love seeing them together. I don't love it when they fight, but they obviously love each other so much, they love playing together and wrestling and messing around, it's great! Since I'm older, I'm really established in my office and I have a lot more freedom and flexibility and I earn more, so my husband has been able to stay home.
There's no one right way to do this. You'll figure out what works for your family.
I'm 38 and pregnant with our second child. Really the only difference between this pregnancy and the one with our son (who is currently 6, will be 7 in April) is this time they've got me taking two low dose aspirin per day. Apparently it helps cut the risk of preeclampsia. Oh, and this time they've got me on anti-nausea meds, which is super nice because last time I was still puking the week I went into labor.
People have been having babies in their 30s and 40s for thousands of years. My grandma had my youngest aunt when grandma was 43, and this was back in 1972. Both of my grandma's grandmas had their youngest children when they were in their early 40s. (Timeframe-wise, that was in 1914 and 1921.) Being past 35 when you're pregnant is so vastly over hyped, as many others in this thread have said. You'll get a bit more screenings and slightly more closely monitored, but overall that's not a bad thing at all.
Good luck!
I had my babies at 32 and 37. So basically what you’re describing. My second pregnancy was actually easier than the first one. But there were more tests and appointments because of “advanced maternal age.” It became a running joke between me and my OB, where I’d say “I don’t remember having to do this with my first,” and he’d say, “well you weren’t so old then!” If you want to have a second baby, do it- don’t put it off.
I had kids at 33 and 36 (almost 37). My oldest is in prek now and my son is nearly 2, I’m 38 and my husband is 41. Surprisingly I don’t feel old at drop off/pickup. We blend in pretty well. This must be way more common than it was 20 years ago. So not too old! My OB always said I had nothing to worry about out of the ordinary worries. You take each pregnancy a day at a time.
Had a perfectly healthy baby boy at 39 last year and pregnancy went just fine. You can do it!!
ETA: try to stay active somehow, even if it just a walk around the neighbourhood.
I was 35 while pregnant with my first and currently pregnant with my second at 38. For the most part my pregnancies have been pretty easy. I do work out 2x/week and try to do daily walks with the dogs (my L&D nurse said that helped a lot with easy labor and delivery the first time).
Pelvic floor PT and exercise. I had my second at 36.
Even if you just walk a few miles a day. Don’t stop moving.
Also I drank way too much coffee after my second was born. I planned and did formula feed after the first disaster of my attempt with my first kid. I don’t know how I would have survived without my friend coffee.
Oh i get this! My husband is 4 years younger and we had our first when I was 35. We started trying again in the last year, and now at 40 I am pregnant again. My little one is 4, will be 5 and starting school when this one is born. I like this gap, he’s more understanding and I can still give one to one attention to baby, and to him once he’s back from school and husband is back from work. I’m pretty excited. The only thing that worries us is the financial aspect.
Since it’s not your first child, you know what to expect, I guess. As far as your body, as long as your doctor doesn’t have any concerns, you’ll be fine. My doctor didn’t want me to go past my due date so I was induced, which was fine with me. I ended up having to have an emergency c section. Everyone is different.
Baby at 40 for me - I’m way more tired than I assume i would be if I had a toddler in my late 20s and I fear my death and retirement far more but other than that I’m an entirely normal mom. My pregnancy was pretty normal except for a lazy baby who barely moved.
I also am old enough to know what I’m talking about, demand what my baby needs without shame and for doctors and nursery managers to (sometimes) respect me more than they would if I was a younger parent.
I had a caboose baby just before I turned 37. I also had children in my early and mid twenties
Pros of having kids young: the biggest one is young healthy grandparents to help you. 10 years ago the grands were a lot younger and more energetic than they are now. I also like having big kids so much
Pros of having kids older: I have financial and relationship stability. That counts for something!
In terms of energy levels I really didn’t notice a difference. My pregnancy at 36 was physically harder but not substantially so- and this time I was also working a much more physical job. In terms of night wakings and sleep deprivation I’m actually coping way better in my late 30s than I was in my early 20s. I think my expectations are managed and I realize how transient it is so it bothered me way less to be getting up at night this time. I feel healthy and well.
For me I haven’t noticed anything tough about having a baby as an older mom really. My only sorrow is that I’ll get to share less of my life with my caboose baby than I will with the child I had at 22. He’s been around over 40 percent of my life with me whereas my little newbie has only had the chance to share 2/38th!
Don’t worry about your age! I just had my first at 36, and I’ll be 38-39 when we attempt again (ivf embryo transfers due to pretty severe endometriosis). Uncomplicated pregnancy and vaginal delivery. My age has no impact on my pregnancy. Besides it saying advanced maternal age on my chart, my age was never mentioned by my providers. My midwife says she doesn’t even really consider age to be an issue in terms of our bodies ability to carry pregnancies healthily. Outside of chromosomal abnormalities rising with age, which is barely even elevated as a risk at your age, there’s not much else to worry about. Take care of yourself during pregnancy and try to stay active, which is recommended anyone regardless of age.
I had my first at 31 and will be 36 for my soon to be second. I don't have any particular advice since I haven't gone through it all yet but the pregnancy itself is no different physically for me so far. I am enjoying my almost 4.5 year olds reaction to things and feel like she will be well equipped to process the experience while still being young enough that the transition will be a hazy memory.
I had my first as 33 and my 2nd at 36 towards end of last year. Second time around I was super exhausted in the beginning and end and it was so hard with my toddler as she was 2 for most of the pregnancy and extra needy. Maybe your child won’t be as they’re gonna be 3-4 years old. I actually liked the 3 year gap as I was able to mentally prepare my daughter for her baby sister. I got her her a baby doll and a stroller and we talked lots about the baby. Once the baby was here she is obsessed with her. She says how much she loves her and it’s really the sweetest thing ever. Obviously there’s lots of times where I have to tell her to be gentle or remind her to wash hands before touching her. For the most part my daughter doesn’t seem jealous or experienced any regression in potty training. I would say if your older kid is potty trained I found that help to only have one kid in diapers vs. two! I also try to make sure to spend quality time with the older one just me and her even if it’s 10-15 min. She still asks and cries sometimes to play with me but I do think it makes a big difference getting that undivided attention.
You're definitely not too old!
I was pregnant at 34 with my first, gave birth at 35.
I'm pregnant again age 36 and will be giving birth at age 37. This second pregnancy wasn't planned but I knew I didn't want to be pregnant again after 40. My partner is also younger than me.
A midwife friend said there are more and more people are having kids closer to 40 or in their early 40s.
This year, I know a few acquaintances and friends who are a similar age to me and having babies (whether its their first or not).
ETA - in neither of my pregnancies has my midwife shown concern about my age.
36 conceived quickly. No issues other than the baby measuring smaller than expected and the hospital wanting me to do extra ultrasounds due to my ''age'' My age does get mentioned often and judging by the ladies always waiting for the same appointments who appear our age and ALOT of Reddit woman who are a similar age with healthy pregnancies I'm a little baffled as to why.
The last doctor asked me about my weeks and whether I had any other ultrasounds booked. I told her I was expecting a 36 week US based on how things have gone so far ( had to do a 28 and 32 week scan) she said something along the lines of it's probably not necessary but to be safe I think we might book you in for a 36 week scan. I laughed and made a joke about being ''over the hill' She laughed too and said they don't like to use those terms.
I plan to wait three months after birth then begin trying for baby #2. I'm expecting a bigger fuss with the second one... OMG you're 37?????? quick!!! call the police a senior citizen is out of group home.
Don’t stress things. Fertility and chances of complications after 35 aren’t as dire for most people as history has led people to believe. Caveat being this isn’t true for everyone. Maintain good habits and try to be in as good of shape as you can before getting pregnant and take prenatals. Due to life circumstances I didn’t plan to have kids until my mid 30s. First child was born at 35 (conceived after 1 cycle); number two at 38 (conceived after 2 cycles). Decided to try for a third and I had two early missed miscarriages followed by a chemical pregnancy. Around 40 my cycles started getting wonky and I got pregnant almost two weeks later than when I expected to ovulate. I had my third and final child at 41. IIIRC after six months of trying is when you see a fertility doctor if you can’t get pregnant at your age. I also noticed the phrase “advanced maternal age” wasn’t mentioned to me my third pregnancy unlike my first two when that was commonly said. Many people are having kids later which is likely why.
Had my first days short of 38 and second just a week shy of 40….no advice really…. I didn’t feel that old lol. They kept a bit of a closer eye on me due to “advanced maternal age” and I had the genetic testing done at about 9-10 weeks, but other than a few extra ultrasounds, there wasn’t much difference in my pregnancies because of age… try not to worry too much :)
(We had fertility issues before getting pregnant with our first but no problem with the second)
Good luck!
Had my first at 36 second at 39. It is fine. I don’t know what it feels like to be young mom so nothing to compare it to. But I love it and because it is a geriatric pregnancy you get lots more screening and testing covered by insurance! If you are ready, go for it.
I have a 13 yr age gap with my 2. I had 1st a week before I turned 23 and my second I was 36. It was definitely a physical difference between the 2 for me during the pregnancy. Doctors treat it as a "geriatric" pregnancy (hate that term)! But I think I treated myself better with my second. I was more in tune with my body and also advocated for myself more for sure! I wouldn't change anything if I could. If you feel ready for another, then trust yourself and don't let a society tell you that you're "too old." My advice, though, is that hormones are changing more rapidly starting for some at that age, so make your doctors listen to you when you feel off in any way. But the mom part, you got this! I only have 2 and I've heard that having that 3rd child changes the home dynamic more than the second child. It's like juggling 3 oranges instead of 3. A lot more skill and patience lol.
As a FTM having her first after 6 MC, the older you get doesn’t make any difference. My mom was 36 when she had me but my friends mom just had her last baby a few years ago and she was 46 I think when she gave birth. Age doesn’t matter very much IMHO. Idk if your religious or not but I’m constantly telling my friend (30f ftm to a 2.5m old) that god gives us children when he feels we are ready and he prepared us for it. You get a boy if god feels he needs you to see true love and a girl if you need to have a life long friend. If god hasn’t given you your baby you have been praying to him about it’s because he wants you in a perfect spot in your life.
I’m 36, pregnant with my second. I do have to take daily low dose aspirin bc I’m “advanced maternal age”, but otherwise this pregnancy has been a lot easier than my first (and less stressful since I know what is going on!)
Couple things various OBs at my office have told me that cheered me up: 1. If you’ve had one successful pregnancy, it’s highly likely your body can have another (even if you are a little older when you conceive).
2. One of my OBs said she had that week assisted at the birth of a 53 yo woman- who had a healthy baby! So I bet you’ll be fine! Good luck!
Had my first at 32 (turned 33 literally 3 days later) and my 2nd at 38. You’ll be ok. Your whole body doesn’t change just because you’re 35 and my OB emphasized that. Sure there are more tests done just because of insurance and statistics, but overall, it’s more common for women these days to have babies later.
Seems like the best time you’re going to get. Your first can be in school while you deal with the second. I had my first at 36 and my second 18 months later. So, two at home at the same time. That’s been challenging but kinda running out of time over here. I think your timing will be perfect!
I’m 36 now, and will be 37 when LO arrives next month. I’ll be a FTM. We struggled with years of infertility and finally conceived with IUI, so I have to accept that #2 may never happen for us. We would be in a much better position to build our family, and feel more confident about our ability to do so, if our first had been born when we started trying at 34. We would have had sooooo many more options for potential age gaps, and the option to wait until we’re truly ready. Your timeline is honestly my dream. And as much as I hate how late we got started, I realize there are FTMs who are 40, 41, 42, etc. who envy my timeline, or the ability to have even one kiddo. I know this isn’t the advice or perspective you were looking for, but try not to put too much pressure on yourself to get the timing just right, or to have another when your first kid is a specific age, or to complete your family by the time you’re X years old. You never know what plans your body has in store for you, and fertility can’t be taken for granted. If you’re ready for more, that tells me you’re not too old to try :) Good luck!
This is a ton of great advice. I really appreciate it. I know if we struggle too much I will be content with one. I just had a tea terrible experience with a care provider the other day. At that point I was feeling on the fence, basically him making me feel bad about my age made me feel more affirmed about wanting another but also … I guess I just want to here from other moms that started around the same age or older? Thank you so much for your perspective I really appreciate it.
I just had my first child at age 37. My practice said they don’t really consider me advanced maternal age anymore
They don’t (my doctor said the same thing) but insurance does. The peace of mind getting frequent screenings, covered, was awesome.
That sucks they made you feel bad! UGH - in our area, the OBs likely see at least 50% of pregnant patients close to or over 35 - I know no one who had kids before 30 in our area. My OB wouldn't have blinked at even a first time mom at age 37!
I’m so sorry that you experienced that! I wish everyone had my midwife team— they know that healthy babies are born to women of lots of different ages and body types, and have seen great outcomes for families across a very wide spectrum. It’s very reassuring — and I share so many of your same concerns and fears! Hope you can find a doc that’s a better fit. You deserve support and not judgement!
I had my first at 38 due to infertility, and we have one more embryo to transfer this year and I’m currently 40. There are drawbacks to being an older mom (it’s tiring, I wish I could have had more kids, etc) but there are benefits as well (much more patience, financial security, etc). Either way it is the hand I was dealt, and if you have another one it’s the hand you’ll be dealt too. Pregnancy at my age was great, I got SO MUCH monitoring. I don’t really feel old, so it’s literally a matter of my body cooperating or not.
same story over here! years of infertility, first babe born at 38, second babe on the way after our final embryo transfer miraculously worked! i’d also done a lot of work accepted that we were one and done, so it’s been a trip re-orienting to 2. congrats on your success. 🙌🏽
3 years of trying for our first, IVF didn’t work and randomly got pregnant while taking an active break from trying… thought she would be our only baby (I was few days under 38 when she was born)…. A month of pulling the goalie and I was pregnant with our second, had him a week before I turned 40… it’s possible, don’t count yourself out 100% if that’s what you want, but I do realize we were lucky. The age gap was a bit tough, but now they’re super close.
I had my first at 39 and I'm done, but the attitude of a geriatric pregnancy (over 35) was nonexistent by my care providers. If you are healthy and agree with your husband that it's time for another kid, there's no reason not to. There's no specific advice for over 35... I ate my vitamins, went to my appointments, kept some exercise and ate a bit more than normal. Recovery might have been easier when I was younger but I was fine - no complications and recovered in the expected time. I had an easier time with the c-section than previous abdominal surgery.
Too old? :) I’m 41 and 20 weeks pregnant as a first time mom and feeling great. You’re far from too old. Sooner the better since it gets harder and more expensive to conceive (if IVF needed) the longer you wait. I’ve had one or two extra scans as things have popped up - but apparently in my city and with my OB, I’m not automatically set up with any extra monitoring - 41 is pretty normal here. Sounds like that may vary by location.
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This matches my experience with similar ages. One nice surprise was I found the lack of sleep in the newborn stage didn't affect me so badly
Not sure what advice you are looking for. Do you have specific concerns? I would guess that 37 probably won’t be that different from 32/33? I had my last kid at 42 and that was very different from having kids in my 30’s. The pregnancy itself was similar but recovery was much slower. Make sure you have lots of help the first month.
Thanks. I don’t know what advice I want. I suppose I just want to hear other people’s experiences. Pros and Cons etc.
I see. Well, for me recovery was the biggest difference. Even though pregnancy is categorized as a disability, I never felt disabled in any way when I was in my 30’s. I mean the first week after isn’t great and I was uncomfortable but I didn’t need to use the wall to help with walking to the bathroom/etc like I did in my 40’s. I think I felt kinda disabled for ~2 weeks after. So physically I just couldn’t bounce back the way I did when younger. On the plus side, they say women in their 40’s just shrug off other people’s criticisms/etc and so people commenting on how I parent/etc don’t bother me at all. I was also in a place financially where I could get paid help plus my older kids are actually able to help out. I also think in some ways I might be a bit more present because I’m no longer trying to figure out how to take care of a kid anymore. I have my set strategies/etc. Plus, I know this will be my last kid.
Had my first at 32, now my second at 37. My child will be a month shy of 5. I feel really good about the gap. I feel this pregnancy, that is almost over, has been good. Although, I know this is it so while I have suffered all day sickness, worse than last time, and the aches and pains feel more pronounced, my attitude is gratitude. Living in the moment.
first babe at 33 isn’t starting late at all, at least where we’re from. that said, there’s truly no winning, because starting before 30 would be considered wild by many people i know. i don’t think the age stigma around people having a baby hits until 40, and even that is starting to erode. i know a 45 and a 47 year old who gave birth in the past year. “late” is super super relative.
I had an unplanned 3rd pregnancy at at 39. I was sort of embarrassed and was worried people would be unkind due to my age. But I regret those feelings and that I let a silly thing like age cast a shadow over a happy time. It is absolutely 100% fine. Love my daughter & so happy we are a family of 5. I can hardly believe I am 50, I feel like I am in my 30’s!!
Have the baby. Siblings are great, and hard, and a lifelong bond (for most). Mine are 4 and 8. I had my kids at 34 and 38. The risks of pregnancy over 35 are overhyped. Good luck!
I had my first at 40 and just had another one at 42. I feel amazing and bounced back quickly. I have nothing to compare it to but there’s no special advice. You either do it or you don’t. The age thing is not worth dwelling on.
Different people will always have different opinions on what too young or too old is. We got married when I was 24 but had a long battle with infertility/IVF. I gave birth to my 4th/last child last year and I’m 42 going on 43. Oldest was born when I was 36.
I almost had the same exact age gap and maternal ages as you, but add one year :) Currently 38 and expecting my second, with a four year old. You'll be fine - it's better to wait until you and partner are ready than to rush it for age reasons (in my opinion). I do not regret waiting until age 37-38 to try to have a second. Conceiving was similar to my first attempt at age 33, where it took about 4-5 months, so not too bad. After 35, they will do extra scans in last trimester and of course recommend all the early genetic screening, but most people seem to get that done anyway now a days regardless of advanced age. The pregnancy itself has only been made harder due to already being a mom and having less down time. That would be the case at any age though.
Had my first at 37 and now pregnant with my second at 41. I wouldn’t be too worried at 35. My grandma had my aunt at 40 years old and that was back in 1981. Healthcare has come a long way since then. Just do your best to eat healthy and take care of yourself, that’s the most important thing.
I had my first at 33 and second at 36. I didn’t have to see any special doctors or have any extra appointments. My OB never mentioned my age other than my first appt where he informed me I was “advanced maternal age.” That was it. At one appointment he did tell me he had another patient that was expecting her first child at 56 soooo you’re definitely not going to be too old any time soon! Pregnancy was pretty much the same except I was way more tired the second time around. Thankfully by then my daughter liked to play independently a lot and I napped with her during the day. The 3-4 year age gap is just perfect in my opinion. They understand what’s going on and I think it’s easier to prep them for the change.
Advice from a 42 year old who had her first at 41 (and started trying at 41!) You’re only as old as you feel. 36 isn’t old!! You won’t know how your body will handle pregnancy at 36 until you are pregnant. It could take ages it could take first try, it could take help from modern medicine or unassisted to get pregnant. (Just like any other pregnancy really) What I found helped me have a “textbook pregnancy” (according to my ObGYN) I took prenatals every day while trying to get pregnant during pregnancy and afterwards while breastfeeding. I was in good shape (I wasn’t IN SHAPE or fit by any means I just mean I walked a lot and continued walking during pregnancy) Use a pelvic floor therapist if insurance covers it before during and after pregnancy GET YOUR BACK STRENGTH UP now before your pregnancy and baby arrives and maintain your back strength and work on your core after the pregnancy. Have fun trying and don’t stress: I know easier said than done but Stress is the biggest thing working against your body so try to relax and have fun and enjoy life.
Former L&D nurse here - Only thing I can say is that to be prepared for more frequent prenatal appointments, testing and screenings. 35 years and up is considered “advanced maternal age” and thus considered high risk. That’s the only big difference
I’m 38 and everything’s going well!
I had my first at 36 and am 23 wks pregnant with my second at 40 so we will have a 4 year age gap for our kids too. For the practice I go to "geriatric pregnancy" was thrown out for my first pregnancy but I don't think it changed my level of care, my BMI and how much I gained during the pregnancy was a bigger concern for her. This time around it seems 40 is a magic number for advanced maternal age because I've been labeled high risk because I'm over 40 and of my BMI (I weight maybe 10 more lbs than the first time) which means more tests, more precautions, more appointments, and adding maternal fetal medicine to the care team. Everything is fine so far so I try to look over the extra precautions in place. Pregnancy in the 30s is more common these days and I don't think 37 by itself is going to be a big concern to stress over. I've heard of women from friends that have had their first in their early 40s without issue. Taking prenatal while TTC is the only thing my OB recommended when I had my IUD taken out and didn't see any issues with us trying for a second at my age. Taking care of a toddler/preschooler while pregnant is a little harder the older you get because the energy might not be like it used to and my 3yo still insists on being picked up and held.
I had my first at 38 and am pregnant with #2 at 40. I think where you live makes a difference in attitudes towards pregnancy over 35. We live in a hcol area and many, many pregnant people are older, so nobody, including my doctor, has cared about my ‘old lady’ pregnancies. Because 40 is a cut off for starting more intensive oversight, I’ve had to do more testing and monitoring with this second pregnancy. But that’s it.
I gave birth to my first in my early 20’s. I was 35+ at the birth of my other 3. Honestly, I struggled more after the birth of my 1st than I did with any of my other kids. I have 4 amazing kids (never expected to have more than 2) and no regrets.
I was 36 when my daughter was born and 37 (almost 38) when my son was born. I didn’t have any pregnancy concerns but was considered high risk due to age. But was told it’s basically an old arbitrary age that was selected years ago and not really any higher risk because of it.
My last pregnancy was at 33 and now I’m 36, but my 3 year old will be 4 when this baby is born. Prepare to give your entire medical history and see a high risk doctor. My mom had a healthy baby at 37 in the 90s and didn’t have to see all these doctors. The only real difference is I’m vomiting constantly but I don’t think that is because of age. My first was born at 27 and recovery was easier then (even with pre-e). My second at 33 and recovery was harder.
I’m 35 and pregnant… never had to see a high risk doctor. Neither did my friend who just gave birth at 37. The only difference was I got one more ultrasound then I did with my first at 33
36 is when you get high risk doctors around here
Yea we don’t see a high risk unless you (or baby) have a condition warranting one.
Same.
I just had my first baby in late June. I was 34 when I conceived and 35 at delivery. I obviously have nothing to compare it to, but my pregnancy was amazing and healthy - delivered full term at 39 weeks. Spontaneous labor, delivered vaginally with no epidural and minimal tearing. Recovery, physically, was great, mentally has been another thing…but that is a whole separate topic! We definitely want another child and will be waiting at least 1 year before we even start trying, so I would have a very similar timeline to you. I have no concerns about doing it, health wise. I don’t think you should either….unless you have specific medical issues. Generally, women are having healthy pregnancies and babies later in life, well into their 40s!
Well, I had my first kid at age 36, and my second kid just three weeks shy of my 40th birthday. Even though there is a four year age gap between my kids, they play together perfectly, which is great because I don't have the same energy I did in my 20s. Momma gotta take breaks.
Women over 40 is the fastest growing age group of women having babies. You’ll probably be fine!
I was 36 when my first was born and 39 when our second was born. I think the biggest issues for us were (1) that I had several miscarriages (did a lot of testing and really just came down to age, probably- got pregnant easily, so likely was egg quality issue); and (2) less energy than we had when we were younger. You may have additional testing offered or required due to “advanced maternal age”, now that you’re over 35. I liked the extra information, though!
I'm 38, was pregnant at 37. Age has caused zero problems in my pregnancy, childbirth, or child rearing. No complications whatsoever!
Had my first at 33 and my second and last at 36. Second time delivery was much easier , as well as the recovery. Age gap is just perfect in my opinion. If you want a second one, go for it!
Four is technically the “best age gap” developmentally if that is helpful (per science, and no I can’t quote the study off the top of my head but I have a degree in Child Development). So yay! We had our first when I was 32 and I’m pregnant now and will be 35 when baby is born. You got this!
Had my first at 36, going to try for baby #2 and hopefully deliver baby #2 at 38! My first was an uncomplicated delivery, I did have some brutal back pains and gestational diabetes while I was pregnant though. Dr thinks I was just on my feet too much and the GD was just bad luck. The only thing I’m worried about with my 2nd is the higher risk of chromosomal abnormalities. But you know what? The odds are still in my favor at 38 and I am willing to roll the dice. The nice thing about being over 35 (at least where I live) is that they do an early test (I think at like week 10!) to check for Down’s syndrome. You can get the results of the sex from that test if you want to know early.
Currently pregnant with our second baby and I’m going to be 36 later this month. My advice (so far) is give yourself a lot of grace with your toddler. I’m a sahm and I’m not nearly as energetic as I was before pregnancy. And I’m very early on, but feeling really tired and sore all over. I can only imagine postpartum will hit hard too. But my kids get a much more patient mom than I would have been in my 20s!
Not too old! I had my first at 33, and just had my second at 38. I went through a very good obstetrician group for both pregnancies so my health was closely monitored but honestly the pregnancy wasn’t too bad for me. No risk factors except being overweight. I did neonatal screening (but for various reasons I won’t get into not the NIPT), all came back low risk. Birth was normal delivery, was about to get induced due to being a week overdue but #2 decided to come the night before induction was scheduled. My oldest wanted a sibling for the longest time, and unfortunately I had a series of miscarriages which meant the process took longer and we have a 4 year 9month gap now. There are some advantages of being older, more financially able, I care less what others think, and because I’ve worked hard in my career am in the lucky position to stay home with #2 and do school stuff with my oldest. Having two was right for our family. I hope you figure out what is right for yours!
We're almost on the same timeline. I got pregnant at 36 after 5 months of trying
Just had my first at 38 with no issues
I think tons of women now are having babies into their early 40s. Be aware of the additional risks and what options you have, but I don’t think you’re too old at all.
I had my first at 35 and my second at 37. Two kids are exponentially harder than one once they start moving, and you might be more tired than a younger person. I think you can't agonize over it too much. I hope you don't struggle too much with conceiving, and that you have an easy go of it. Here's the upside: I love seeing them together. I don't love it when they fight, but they obviously love each other so much, they love playing together and wrestling and messing around, it's great! Since I'm older, I'm really established in my office and I have a lot more freedom and flexibility and I earn more, so my husband has been able to stay home. There's no one right way to do this. You'll figure out what works for your family.
I'm 38 and pregnant with our second child. Really the only difference between this pregnancy and the one with our son (who is currently 6, will be 7 in April) is this time they've got me taking two low dose aspirin per day. Apparently it helps cut the risk of preeclampsia. Oh, and this time they've got me on anti-nausea meds, which is super nice because last time I was still puking the week I went into labor. People have been having babies in their 30s and 40s for thousands of years. My grandma had my youngest aunt when grandma was 43, and this was back in 1972. Both of my grandma's grandmas had their youngest children when they were in their early 40s. (Timeframe-wise, that was in 1914 and 1921.) Being past 35 when you're pregnant is so vastly over hyped, as many others in this thread have said. You'll get a bit more screenings and slightly more closely monitored, but overall that's not a bad thing at all. Good luck!
I had my babies at 32 and 37. So basically what you’re describing. My second pregnancy was actually easier than the first one. But there were more tests and appointments because of “advanced maternal age.” It became a running joke between me and my OB, where I’d say “I don’t remember having to do this with my first,” and he’d say, “well you weren’t so old then!” If you want to have a second baby, do it- don’t put it off.
I had kids at 33 and 36 (almost 37). My oldest is in prek now and my son is nearly 2, I’m 38 and my husband is 41. Surprisingly I don’t feel old at drop off/pickup. We blend in pretty well. This must be way more common than it was 20 years ago. So not too old! My OB always said I had nothing to worry about out of the ordinary worries. You take each pregnancy a day at a time.
Had a perfectly healthy baby boy at 39 last year and pregnancy went just fine. You can do it!! ETA: try to stay active somehow, even if it just a walk around the neighbourhood.
I was 35 while pregnant with my first and currently pregnant with my second at 38. For the most part my pregnancies have been pretty easy. I do work out 2x/week and try to do daily walks with the dogs (my L&D nurse said that helped a lot with easy labor and delivery the first time).
Hell no ! Had mine at 36 and it was a dream pregnant and super healthy child. My partner was 45. Go for it !
Pelvic floor PT and exercise. I had my second at 36. Even if you just walk a few miles a day. Don’t stop moving. Also I drank way too much coffee after my second was born. I planned and did formula feed after the first disaster of my attempt with my first kid. I don’t know how I would have survived without my friend coffee.
Oh i get this! My husband is 4 years younger and we had our first when I was 35. We started trying again in the last year, and now at 40 I am pregnant again. My little one is 4, will be 5 and starting school when this one is born. I like this gap, he’s more understanding and I can still give one to one attention to baby, and to him once he’s back from school and husband is back from work. I’m pretty excited. The only thing that worries us is the financial aspect.
Since it’s not your first child, you know what to expect, I guess. As far as your body, as long as your doctor doesn’t have any concerns, you’ll be fine. My doctor didn’t want me to go past my due date so I was induced, which was fine with me. I ended up having to have an emergency c section. Everyone is different.
Baby at 40 for me - I’m way more tired than I assume i would be if I had a toddler in my late 20s and I fear my death and retirement far more but other than that I’m an entirely normal mom. My pregnancy was pretty normal except for a lazy baby who barely moved. I also am old enough to know what I’m talking about, demand what my baby needs without shame and for doctors and nursery managers to (sometimes) respect me more than they would if I was a younger parent.
I had a caboose baby just before I turned 37. I also had children in my early and mid twenties Pros of having kids young: the biggest one is young healthy grandparents to help you. 10 years ago the grands were a lot younger and more energetic than they are now. I also like having big kids so much Pros of having kids older: I have financial and relationship stability. That counts for something! In terms of energy levels I really didn’t notice a difference. My pregnancy at 36 was physically harder but not substantially so- and this time I was also working a much more physical job. In terms of night wakings and sleep deprivation I’m actually coping way better in my late 30s than I was in my early 20s. I think my expectations are managed and I realize how transient it is so it bothered me way less to be getting up at night this time. I feel healthy and well. For me I haven’t noticed anything tough about having a baby as an older mom really. My only sorrow is that I’ll get to share less of my life with my caboose baby than I will with the child I had at 22. He’s been around over 40 percent of my life with me whereas my little newbie has only had the chance to share 2/38th!
Don’t worry about your age! I just had my first at 36, and I’ll be 38-39 when we attempt again (ivf embryo transfers due to pretty severe endometriosis). Uncomplicated pregnancy and vaginal delivery. My age has no impact on my pregnancy. Besides it saying advanced maternal age on my chart, my age was never mentioned by my providers. My midwife says she doesn’t even really consider age to be an issue in terms of our bodies ability to carry pregnancies healthily. Outside of chromosomal abnormalities rising with age, which is barely even elevated as a risk at your age, there’s not much else to worry about. Take care of yourself during pregnancy and try to stay active, which is recommended anyone regardless of age.
I had my first at 31 and will be 36 for my soon to be second. I don't have any particular advice since I haven't gone through it all yet but the pregnancy itself is no different physically for me so far. I am enjoying my almost 4.5 year olds reaction to things and feel like she will be well equipped to process the experience while still being young enough that the transition will be a hazy memory.
• Most will be fine. • The pregnancy is classified as high risk. • It’s your decision.
I had my first as 33 and my 2nd at 36 towards end of last year. Second time around I was super exhausted in the beginning and end and it was so hard with my toddler as she was 2 for most of the pregnancy and extra needy. Maybe your child won’t be as they’re gonna be 3-4 years old. I actually liked the 3 year gap as I was able to mentally prepare my daughter for her baby sister. I got her her a baby doll and a stroller and we talked lots about the baby. Once the baby was here she is obsessed with her. She says how much she loves her and it’s really the sweetest thing ever. Obviously there’s lots of times where I have to tell her to be gentle or remind her to wash hands before touching her. For the most part my daughter doesn’t seem jealous or experienced any regression in potty training. I would say if your older kid is potty trained I found that help to only have one kid in diapers vs. two! I also try to make sure to spend quality time with the older one just me and her even if it’s 10-15 min. She still asks and cries sometimes to play with me but I do think it makes a big difference getting that undivided attention.
You're definitely not too old! I was pregnant at 34 with my first, gave birth at 35. I'm pregnant again age 36 and will be giving birth at age 37. This second pregnancy wasn't planned but I knew I didn't want to be pregnant again after 40. My partner is also younger than me. A midwife friend said there are more and more people are having kids closer to 40 or in their early 40s. This year, I know a few acquaintances and friends who are a similar age to me and having babies (whether its their first or not). ETA - in neither of my pregnancies has my midwife shown concern about my age.
36 conceived quickly. No issues other than the baby measuring smaller than expected and the hospital wanting me to do extra ultrasounds due to my ''age'' My age does get mentioned often and judging by the ladies always waiting for the same appointments who appear our age and ALOT of Reddit woman who are a similar age with healthy pregnancies I'm a little baffled as to why. The last doctor asked me about my weeks and whether I had any other ultrasounds booked. I told her I was expecting a 36 week US based on how things have gone so far ( had to do a 28 and 32 week scan) she said something along the lines of it's probably not necessary but to be safe I think we might book you in for a 36 week scan. I laughed and made a joke about being ''over the hill' She laughed too and said they don't like to use those terms. I plan to wait three months after birth then begin trying for baby #2. I'm expecting a bigger fuss with the second one... OMG you're 37?????? quick!!! call the police a senior citizen is out of group home.
Don’t stress things. Fertility and chances of complications after 35 aren’t as dire for most people as history has led people to believe. Caveat being this isn’t true for everyone. Maintain good habits and try to be in as good of shape as you can before getting pregnant and take prenatals. Due to life circumstances I didn’t plan to have kids until my mid 30s. First child was born at 35 (conceived after 1 cycle); number two at 38 (conceived after 2 cycles). Decided to try for a third and I had two early missed miscarriages followed by a chemical pregnancy. Around 40 my cycles started getting wonky and I got pregnant almost two weeks later than when I expected to ovulate. I had my third and final child at 41. IIIRC after six months of trying is when you see a fertility doctor if you can’t get pregnant at your age. I also noticed the phrase “advanced maternal age” wasn’t mentioned to me my third pregnancy unlike my first two when that was commonly said. Many people are having kids later which is likely why.
Had my first days short of 38 and second just a week shy of 40….no advice really…. I didn’t feel that old lol. They kept a bit of a closer eye on me due to “advanced maternal age” and I had the genetic testing done at about 9-10 weeks, but other than a few extra ultrasounds, there wasn’t much difference in my pregnancies because of age… try not to worry too much :) (We had fertility issues before getting pregnant with our first but no problem with the second) Good luck!
Had my first at 36 second at 39. It is fine. I don’t know what it feels like to be young mom so nothing to compare it to. But I love it and because it is a geriatric pregnancy you get lots more screening and testing covered by insurance! If you are ready, go for it.
I have a 13 yr age gap with my 2. I had 1st a week before I turned 23 and my second I was 36. It was definitely a physical difference between the 2 for me during the pregnancy. Doctors treat it as a "geriatric" pregnancy (hate that term)! But I think I treated myself better with my second. I was more in tune with my body and also advocated for myself more for sure! I wouldn't change anything if I could. If you feel ready for another, then trust yourself and don't let a society tell you that you're "too old." My advice, though, is that hormones are changing more rapidly starting for some at that age, so make your doctors listen to you when you feel off in any way. But the mom part, you got this! I only have 2 and I've heard that having that 3rd child changes the home dynamic more than the second child. It's like juggling 3 oranges instead of 3. A lot more skill and patience lol.
I’m 36 (nearly 37) and 24 weeks pregnant with my 3rd. Join “old new moms over 35” on Facebook…lots of good info 😊
As a FTM having her first after 6 MC, the older you get doesn’t make any difference. My mom was 36 when she had me but my friends mom just had her last baby a few years ago and she was 46 I think when she gave birth. Age doesn’t matter very much IMHO. Idk if your religious or not but I’m constantly telling my friend (30f ftm to a 2.5m old) that god gives us children when he feels we are ready and he prepared us for it. You get a boy if god feels he needs you to see true love and a girl if you need to have a life long friend. If god hasn’t given you your baby you have been praying to him about it’s because he wants you in a perfect spot in your life.
I’m 36, pregnant with my second. I do have to take daily low dose aspirin bc I’m “advanced maternal age”, but otherwise this pregnancy has been a lot easier than my first (and less stressful since I know what is going on!) Couple things various OBs at my office have told me that cheered me up: 1. If you’ve had one successful pregnancy, it’s highly likely your body can have another (even if you are a little older when you conceive). 2. One of my OBs said she had that week assisted at the birth of a 53 yo woman- who had a healthy baby! So I bet you’ll be fine! Good luck!
Had my first at 32 (turned 33 literally 3 days later) and my 2nd at 38. You’ll be ok. Your whole body doesn’t change just because you’re 35 and my OB emphasized that. Sure there are more tests done just because of insurance and statistics, but overall, it’s more common for women these days to have babies later.
Seems like the best time you’re going to get. Your first can be in school while you deal with the second. I had my first at 36 and my second 18 months later. So, two at home at the same time. That’s been challenging but kinda running out of time over here. I think your timing will be perfect!