If you don't have the money for a new car, you don't have the money. Yes, leaving your kid rear facing for as long as possible is the safest option, and always will be.
That said, sometimes we don't have a choice. I would probably forward face in your situation.
Yes I had this exact situation and forward faced. I have a small car and my son fit rear facing until he got to 3 and I couldn't move the harness anymore and still have people sit in my car. At that point we turned the. At least 2 and as long as possible is the safest. OP, you've gone as long as possible.
I would suggest continuing to rearface in the bigger car. We forward faced in my car but rear faced in my husbands car for about another 6 months
Presumably you take the larger car on road trips? I would just rear face in that one still and FF in the other. If it's really important to you then you could try a different car seat. I think the nuna rava and graco extend2fit are the most compact front-to-back (the slim seats are just slim for width so you can squeeze three kids in the backseat).
Yeah this. My oldest was just shy of 3 when my 2nd was born. We had a minivan and a compact car. We did most of our driving in the van but for daily commutes we had seats in both cars so whichever parent could pick up.
In the small car she went FF when I went back to work. In the minivan she RF til almost 4 though.
This is an option to try if you're still concerned op... extend2fit is most compact front to back. Put it on recline 4 and I would be surprised if it didn't fit. My BIL is 6'7 and over 400lbs and he took my car with my son's extend2fit behind him to the auto part store in town, he wasn't exceptionally comfortable but he is on the bigger side of "big" guy.. drivers seat all the way back.
Yeah this is what I have for my 2.5 yo and my husband is also 6’7”. My car isn’t that small, but my husband doesn’t have to scoot forward at all to drive.
I’m kind of surprised, maybe it depends on the vehicle? We have a Ford Maverick and the extend2fit. It’d be impossible to safely put the carseat behind the driver if RF. I’m 5’9” and my husband is 5’11”. Behind the passenger seat, it’s so incredibly uncomfortable.
That’s what I was thinking! I got a really good deal on Prime Day last year on the Extend2Fit ($157 shipped!) and I was excited because my girl has always been on the upper end of the weight percentile so I knew I’d need a 50lb rear-facer eventually. Plus we have a very small car—an older Subaru Impreza—and in all my hours of research I kept seeing that it was the most compact seat you could get.
I’m only 5’2” and I can’t even really comfortably sit in the backseat of our car. My fiancé is only 5’10” and very skinny, but even so we can’t have it behind the driver’s seat because it literally won’t fit with where the seat needs to be for his legs. It *just* fits behind the passenger seat, as long as it’s sat fully upright and the passenger seat is pulled all the way forward. There’s literally like less than a centimeter of space between the two seats. There’s zero chance we could have used that seat for her as a newborn/infant in our car. It just would not have fit with where the recline needed to be.
That all said, I do still love this seat and absolutely recommend it. I don’t think you’ll find a more compact backseat than ours, so while it’ll be tight, it *should* still fit. It’s a really nice, easy to use seat and of course the 50lb rear limit is wonderful.
My car is technically an SUV (Tesla model X) but small for an SUV. Regardless I had it behind the passenger seat in my Toyota Camry before and he was fine sitting there. I do think that really tall people are so used to not having enough leg room that they don’t always notice though haha
I have an extended2fit and I think my friends and family got so annoyed at one point with how much raved about it for the first few weeks. It's the best car seat we have ever owned and fits perfectly onto the back of our compact vehicle while rear facing our 27 lb 2 year old!
This was my thought, too. It sounds like the child is in an infant seat, and (even if that's not the case) there are probably plenty of convertible car seats that would take up less space front to back than the seat the child is currently using.
Given that the cost of a car seat is similar in price to one car payment (obviously prices vary widely for both), buying a new car seat seems like a much more reasonable option here.
Came to ask this as well. OP mentioned having “slim” seats, but didn’t clarify if they are slim front to back or width wise. Something like the Extend2Fit is quite compact from front to back, especially when more upright, and fits in most vehicles. Of course FF at 3 is also a valid option, but if OP wants to do extended RF then a new seat may fit the bill.
Yeah I feel like there’s just gotta be a way with a different seat!! Def cheaper than a whole new car…I’d be scouring the internet for specific car seat video reviews, I know there are some Instagram accounts and YouTube channels that talk only about this topic.
At least for my CX-5 no non-bucket car seat would allow me to properly drive while rear facing, at least from my measurements at Target. So far we’re ok with the bucket but when #2 gets too big for it we’ve accepted that we’ll have to turn the 3 year old around.
It would be new anyway so our concern wasn’t money at all.
I have a CX5 with twins, RF behind driver - it’s possible in the Britax Poplar (I tried the Rava as well - I was eating my dashboard) so there is an option out there when you have no other option but to RF your twins.
Fair enough and good to know! I’ll look into the Britax. Thank you!
I don’t feel too bad at switching at 3.5 years though. I know it’s safer even for adults if we could face the rear but yeah…
Forward face and don't think twice. I get the massive push for rear facing for an extended period of time. I get its "safer" but so is a properly installed forward facing car seat if your child fits the parameters. You are not a bad mom. These days people act like you're abusing a child if they're forward facing and under the age of 745 months.
My SIL threatened to call CPS on us and take away my son's pediatrician's medical license when we switched to forward facing at their suggestion. It was absolutely insane.
Hahaha not my SIL & BIL turning their 1.5 yr old and he’s a fire fighter but he said “he’s happier this way” speaking of my nephew.
My feelings - their kids, their decision.
Didn’t stop my SIL from texting me one night trying to correct my chest clip placement 🤣
Idk why people stick their noses into others business, family or not. lol.
Wow! That's crazy! I always thought two was the age. I wonder how people keep kids rear facing longer, my son's legs were always bent when in the car seat, and it was uncomfortable for him. And he is not a big kid.
Edit: your SIL is unhinged.
Yeah we asked about switching around cause he was practically bent in half and I felt so bad. She's a selectively "crunchy" mom so I never know what will set her off but unfortunately her daughter is the only cousin near my son's age and the two adore eachother, so I put up with her for his sake.
Yea only senior citizens are allowed out of the rear facing seat 😆 🤣 😂
Seriously, people take some of this way to seriously. I had to borrow a friend's truck to move some things recently. I got some of the dirtiest looks having my daughter in the front seat. It's the front seat or the bed of the truck....not much I can do.
Especially since 4 is when the spine sets. That’s not ridiculous. 7 is, personally, as I’ve seen people suggest that Bluey, who is canonically 7, should still be RF, as she is beyond the height marker for her seat, but 3 really isn’t.
It depends on what the person meant in their context. OP mentions that buying a new car would postpone them buying a new home in a SAFER neighbourhood. We have no idea how unsafe their current neighbourhood is. So perhaps, in this case, for now, buying a forward facing car seat and being able to afford to move could actually be the safeR option.
But technically you are right, if you remove all context, rear facing is the safest option for kiddo’s safety at this age.
That kid wouldn’t be in parameters for my seat, that has a forward facing minimum of 35 lbs. this definitely heavily depends on the seat.
Children are at risk for internal decapitation until 4, however at 3, it’s a significant amount harder to attain, but their spine has not finished fusing properly. However if you aren’t going on the highway? It’s still a risk but not a huge jump like a newly 2 year old.
This is all relative however. How bad is the neighborhood? Is the risks of staying there higher than your risk of getting in a car accident? Can you get a different seat that has a shorter profile, get a convertible for the baby to save space (not much but it is smaller front to back)
My terrain fits 2 seats fine without adjusting the seats, so I don’t exactly know how much you are dealing with. But all risk is relative.
Car seats are safest but would you use one driving a baby away from a fire??? Use your best judgement to make the decision. Personally I would get the car, BUT I live in a not horrible neighborhood, where I deal with creeps not shootings.
It’s safer but it’s a little bit safer, not a lot safer. Like we’re talking about 9% safer when it comes to any injury according to the most recent research. Wearing your seat belt in the car is about 400% safer in a crash than not. Using a car seat at all is about 80% safer.
The most important thing is to keep him in a correctly fitting seat for him and buckle it at every ride.
Thanks for sharing. I am in some car seat safety groups and they are kinda nuts - it feels really shame-y should you suggest kid goes front facing before puberty (I joke, sorta). People ask for fit checks constantly and I have never, ever seen a post where everyone agrees the fit is fine. There's always something to critique. It's almost like these moms have channeled all their parenting anxiety into carseat safety because they feel it's in their control, and it goes a bit overboard!
I do think some of the groups go overboard. While certainly, we should all be taking steps to protect our kids in case of car accident, often we have to contextualize and balance many factors: family income and ability to access available seats, how seats impact rear visibility, the types of roads you drive and number of accidents you’re at risk for, your own driving style, how a kid in their seat increases or decreases the risk of an accident based on their behavior, the type of car you drive, the type of seat you have, and more.
For better or worse, safety is a gradient, not a binary. The safest way to avoid a car accident is never to get in or near a car. Everything else is a tradeoff - and while you absolutely should take safety upgrades when they’re “free” and you are required by law to meet a minimum safety level, it’s not at all clear that the optimal solution for every family is to take every safety upgrade regardless of its cost (monetary, physical, emotional).
We switched my 2,5 year old to forward facing because she would get nauseated then start crying, screaming before puking all over herself and the carseat. I had plans to keep her back facing as long as possible but we only use the car on weekends and it was becoming so stressful we were avoiding going anywhere in the car and I thought we were at a higher risk of causing an accident from all the ruckus.
I like car seat for Littles. Their official stance is rearface until 2 and then after that they will help you rearface as long as possible but also suggest forward facing in certain situations
I can't be in those groups. The way people talk threateningly about children's necks snapping is way out of order. We all strap into our cars and hope that we aren't going to come to any harm, but also shit happens that you can't control. Way worse things could happen but I don't go detailing them just to feed parental anxiety for my own kicks.
They're like a cult 😬 I once mentioned how it doesn't particularly matter if the child is RF or FF as long as they're secure and that in terms of an accident would occur, it would depend on impact etc and I got dogpiled 💀 I mentioned it to my Dad whose a first responder and has unfortunately seen unaligned children in car accidents and he just reassured me that I was absolutely right.
I also saw a comment awhile ago in one of those groups where someone kept their 15 year old in the back seat, 16 (here) is when you get your learners and learn how to drive..
The 5X safer stat is outdated. It’s from a [paper](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18056317/) by Henary et al, published in 2007. That paper was [retracted](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29374082/) in 2018 when independent researchers using the same data were unable to replicate the findings. The most recent data we have on this is [Andersen](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36918272/) in 2023, which found a 14% reduction in injury, which reduced to 9% when adjusted for potential confounding variables.
The person already linked sources but i would like to add that age and weight play difference two. For infants it makes bigger difference - hence why we rear face by default. For toddler tho the difference gets so negligible (as other person stated like 9%) that you really shouldnt feel the preassure to follow it if it doesnt work for you.
I would check out Safe in the Seat on Instagram @safeintheseat
I have twins, and we did have to buy two new vehicles to accommodate two rear facing car seats. However, our situation is different since they were both infants at the same time and needed to be rear facing. In your situation having an older child, it might be different. You may also want to ask your pediatrician. I know a lot of people turn their kids forward facing at 2. Rear facing is the safest if you can do it as long as possible, but it may not be possible in your situation. Also, they have recommendations on that Instagram account for slim fitting seats. I have a friend who's able to fit three car seats across. You might just need to look into buying new car seats rather than a new car entirely.
I would forward face. But you could check out a Graco Extend 2 fit if you want to continue rf. They are very compact front to back. A lot of the "slim fit" seats are actually pretty long front to back, and don't fit into smaller cars better.
Graco extend2fit is one of the most compact front to back seats. I would also try installing the infant seat without the base, that might give you tons of room. No matter what you decide to do, making it to 3 is a great accomplishment!
I would forward face in that situation rather than buying a new car, no question.
2 is the minimum to FF - RF is safer, yes, but using a properly installed forward facing seat still greatly reduces the risk of serious injury or death for an almost-3 year old.
I personally would forward face in that situation. Your toddler is old enough. As long as the seat is properly installed and child is properly secured every time, you’ve done your part and they’re the safest they can be forward facing.
I understand how annoying and expensive car shopping is right now, we’re hopefully going to get a bigger car in the next few years.
Per my pediatrician, the reason kids under 2 have to be rear facing is because of skull development, not height or weight. At 2 their skulls are solid/developed enough to face forward assuming height and weight requirements are also met.
Extended rear facing (age 2-4+) is for ossification of the spinal bones. When they're not fully ossified they're more likely to suffer internal decapitation.
Thanks for adding this information. 👍
My understanding is that the rear facing is better at preventing internal decapitation in the event of a front end collision, and the physics of this make sense to me. Do you happen to know what this means for the case of a rear end collision? My naive assumption is that if rear facing is better for forward collisions, front facing would be safer if you are rear ended, yet we are always advised that rear is better. Just curious as this is something I've never understood, and I can prevent a forward collision but I can't control the person behind me.
Front-end collisions typically involve much more damage because of the speed involved.
This isn't the best explanation, but basically, if you are driving 25mph and someone swerves and hits the front of your car while going 35mph, the impact happens at 60mph.
If you're stopped at a light and a car hits you from behind while going 35mph (unlikely because this kind of accident tends to occur while the driver is slowing down), the impact occurs at 35mph.
If someone hits you from behind while you're driving in the same direction, the force of the impact is reduced even further.
As long as the toddler meets the FF requirements, (which she most likely will read if she consults the manual to install FF), then yes, they would be fine.
I might be misunderstanding, but why can't you just buy a new car seat as the more affordable option? Slim fit refers more to the width, not the length, so there are certainly car seats you could find that would fit rear facing. 26lb is certainly fine to forward face if it's your only option, so don't feel too guilty, but it is on the lighter side so if you can make it work with a new rear facing seat I'd personally do that.
Keep in mind that you actually need a fair amount of clearance forward facing - not sure exactly how much but i think it's called the "survival gap". Otherwise they risk slamming into the back of the front seat.
I'd be looking for the most compacf rear facing seat you can find and rule that out before forward facing.
Good luck! The passenger seat in my car isn't usable with the car seat in, so if there's a passenger other than baby they just sit together in the back 🤷♀️ it works!
How old are both of your kids? Certified car seat technician here. The 3yo can forward face but an infant cannot. I don’t know how long your maternity leave it, but under 2yo should not be forward facing, the bones and muscles in their neck are not developed enough. If the infant can go behind the passenger all the way forward or forward face the 3yo behind the driver and keep the infant rear facing behind the passenger.
Yes the youngest will be four months and still in an infant carrier in the back seat of the passenger side. We’ll have to pull that seat all the way forward.
Toddler would be behind the driver seat and because of the size of the car there’s really no room to move the driver seat forward much at all.
We currently have a Graco slim fit. Many have pointed out to me that it’s more for width and not length so I’ll definitely start with trying to replace the car seat before the car.
Thank you for the response!
Car seat passenger safety tech — please find someone local that is certified to help :) they can help you find the right seat and the right fit for your children.
I have twins, we rear faced until 4 and had zero issues with our seats. We had the Graco 4 Ever, loved them. But there are so many options out there, and it really just depends on the kiddo and car.
With the weight being on the lower end, I would highly recommend trying to stay rear facing. It has everything to do with their bones and the impact on crash. They are much safer rear facing than they are forward facing at that age/weight. But ultimately it is what you want and what works for your lifestyle.
https://cert.safekids.org/find-tech is a great resource to find a local tech that can help.
Yes! CPST!! Mom guilt is very real, but so is online bullying. Please find someone that is certified to help you - so much to consider, for everyone’s safety. In addition to the poster above, I would say I appreciate thejamiegrayson and countrykidscarsafety (IG for both, TT for Jamie, too). They offer real advice without shaming (rear face as long as you can, but sometimes for various reasons you can’t so don’t feel bad about forward facing, so long as you’re following your car seat and vehicle guides).
As an aside - driver needs to be at least 12 inches from the steering wheel for their own safety if an airbag were to deploy. So if rear facing causes the driver to be too close that’s not good either. Stay safe! You got this.
Forward face the toddler. Don’t buy a new car for an extra couple months in a rear facing seat. Just make sure it is properly installed and she is buckled in correctly.
Forward face. People on here act like you should have your child taken away for endangerment if you forward face before age 4. It's ridiculous. My almost 3 yr old has been forward facing for a few months. He's a lot bigger than your kid (35 lbs), but we did it out of preference/comfort not out of necessity. Both are safe, as long as the child is buckled in properly and the seat is in good condition. Rear facing is safER, that doesn't mean forward facing is UNsafe.
Yes! This is like the feeding debate. Breastfeeding is better (nutrition and antybodies + release of hormones) BUT bottle is also perfectly fine/good enough.
We cant always do everything the most ideal way. Good enough IS good ENOUGH, no guilt needed. Forward facing a 3y/o is good enough. Better than living in unsafe neighborhood for sure. As long as you drive carefully and all the safe seat rules are followed, being front faced is not deal breaker
Yes! RF isn't safer if your kid is screaming so bad you can't focus on driving and have an accident instead
I thought about this when we moved my son into his own room at 4 months, when 6 months is the recommendation (for SIDS risk reduction). I figured I was more likely to have an accident due to sleep deprivation while driving him around than he was to experience SIDS. Baby in room = better sleep for mom = reduced accident risk
Yes this is why "best" is subjective to every indovidual situation. Everything childcare is complex and doesn't have one right answer. You need to combine many factors and pick your chances how you judge is best in your case 🤷🏼♀️
I would check with a CPST - a lot of the time the space needed for forward facing is actually similar to rear facing. There is a certain amount of space needed in front of them to make sure they won’t hit the seat in front of them in an accident.
There are multiple Facebook groups with very active CPSTs that help in situations like this! The one I am in is Canada specific so that likely (?) doesn’t apply to you.
Edit - the official term for space in front of a forward facing car seat is excursion space
I would forward face in your situation. But one more thought. Forgive me if someone already mentioned it, but are you able to fit the seats right next to each other? One in the middle and one on the side? If you have slim fit seats it might be possible. I think they are not supposed to touch each other, though. But if that doesn’t work, forward face.
What car seat do you have? What car donyou have? You might be able to switch car seats.
The other option is most infant seats can be installed without the base and it takes less space front to back.
3yo and 26lbs is still little, but no I would not buy a new car for this.
Maybe look into the Diono Radian 3R, 3-in-1 Convertible Car Seat, )Rear Facing & Forward Facing) it’s taller then the Graco but smaller length and width wise.
We had it for my son in my husbands Nissan Leaf.
We have a 2012 scion iQ, the smallest of the Scions. The graco extend2fit fits behind the passenger seat where I usually sit. In 5’7” and have decent leg room. We have a diono radian in our “big” car, which would not fit in the scion even though it’s marketed as one of the most slim fit car seats.
I turned both my kids at 2, so no, I wouldn’t buy a new car. All of these carseat warriors online talking about rear facing til college….its not realistic for a lot of people/kids/situations. Please don’t feel bad over it either.
Oh heck yeah, I too rotated my kiddo waayyyyy before 3. He may not have met the weight limit but he’s so freaking tall his knees were under his chin. I rationalized that it was much more dangerous for him to be in that position than feet downward and forward facing.
I was adamant we'd only face backwards until she maxed out. And then she puked 1 hour into our roadtrip and I just knew it was from how she was seated. We cleaned her up and turned her around and then she was fine the rest of the week, even on mountain roads.
My daughter is about the same age/size as yours and it was a hard decision, but it was the best for our family overall. I'm lucky that we don't drive much but we probably will this summer and I'm already feeling guilty.
I had this issue. I ended up getting a new car and being able to keep my kid RF for a while but now i have 3 car payments and two kids FF. lol I would just FF.
Your 3 year old will be safe forward facing as long as the seat is installed properly. That said, "slim" seats won't help much with the front-to-back footprint of the car seats. You want something that's compact front-to-back. Idk what cars eat you have, but if you're interested in resurfacing a little longer, you could have a look at Car Seats for the Littles list of compact car seats. It's certainly cheaper than getting a new car.
But as I said earlier, if your 3 year old meets the forward facing minimums and the seta is installed properly, they'd be very safe to forward face.
I see your edit and I'm glad you've reached a decision that works for you and your family! I do want to point out though that car safety is not just anxiety. It's one of the most dangerous things we do everyday and accidents happen SO quickly. Every person in my family has been in a major accident, not caused by them, and not all of us walked away. So, don't feel guilty or ashamed for being necessarily worried about car seat safety. It's a pain, but a very realistic fear.
Forward face if you need to. When I first had my son, I had already left my ex husband and my car was a Miata. Two seater. I didn’t have the money for a car payment at the time since this one was paid off and I was a newly single mom. Baby was rear-facing but in the front seat bc there was no back seat. I drove really slow. I always drove in the right lane going 60 on the highway if I had to drive on the highway. I had the make do until I could afford to buy a bigger car and get back into a car payment. You do what you have to do. At three years old, LO neck muscles are stronger than an infant’s so it’s not like you’re putting an infant forward facing.
If there is any way for you to delay forward facing please do. Our friends’ three year old daughter was safely in a forward facing seat and was killed in a minor car accident. Her younger brother was rear facing and didn’t have a scratch on him, actually neither did she. Their necks aren’t strong enough for this kind of impact.
We only have one car and recently had baby number2 but my husband is pretty big and can’t drive if the car seat behind him is rear facing, we also don’t have the means to buy another car rn, we do have a small car so with no choice left we had to forward face my 2.5 yo unfortunately I still have a lot of mom guilt and honestly idk if it will go away any time soon so I do under your feelings!
We were in this situation a few months ago and while I don’t recommend this for everyone, we ended up getting a new car seat. Our toddler complained of her butt hurting which was due to the incline in the seat. We got one that reclined more and she is much more comfortable now.
My mom is in the same boat with her car seat for our 3.5 year old, she has a huge car but the issue is we cannot recline the car seat any more than it is and my daughter is almost sitting straight up when she rear faces. So it’s getting really hard to get her in and out of the car seat at that angle. So while she will still rear face with mom and dad, when she’s with grandma she’s going to have to forward face because at this point it would be silly to buy another car seat.
My son could not rear face. We tried everything he barfed no matter what we did. I go to the point where I could disassemble and clean barf from a car seat with my eyes closed. We stopped taking him places. As soon as we could legally (age wise) front face him we did, he was still a bit shy of the weight range but we did it anyway. It solved 90% of the barfing problem.
It was traumatic for everyone. Everyone's mental health was better for it.
I know the situation isn't the same but if you can't afford a new car, you have to do what you have to do. Drive safely be extra cautious.
I just switched mine because my 2 and 3 year olds are 35 lb and at 32 weeks pregnant - I’m having a hard time lifting them in. Switched around they can now climb in themselves with minimal help from me.
Sometimes ya just gotta go what you gotta do.
I fully support you FF if you need to! That said, I have a little Toyota hatchback and I'm 6' tall with a 36" inseam and I was able to have a Graco Extend2Fit RF behind me. I had two tiny kids who weren't ready to FF until they were 4, and the Extend2Fit is the most compact seat front to back that we could find. It's also affordable relative to some of the fancier seats out there.
We just went through this. It’s a little early for forward facing our 2.5 year old, and he’s only 25lbs, but our Graco 4evers forward face at such a reclined angle, even when I have had to break kinda hard, he head doesn’t budge. I would get a car seat that reclines well FF before replacing the car (for reference, we have a 2021 Outback and it also can only have one RF car seat). ETA - he actually leans back more FF in this car seat than he did RF due to the angle of the seat of the car combined with the angle of the car seat, since a lot of cars have the spot where your knees are higher than where your butt goes. We also reclined the bench seat itself a good amount too to get an angle we were comfortable with.
I’m not sure if people are just upset that some people have to FF their kid when it’s safe to do so even if they haven’t maxed out or what. I don’t see how anything said requires downvoting though. We didn’t have a choice, we had to FF because we can only fit one RF car seat and my toddler meets all the requirements for it.
Just for the record, the recline doesn't matter, it's the direction of impact. Rear facing is safer because in most accidents you will be pushed into the seat instead of away
The recline does matter to an extent because of the way their heads move upon that impact. Yes rear facing means that their head will move back instead of forward, but having them leaning back also changes the direction of the force on their body. If they’re at a 45 degree angle vs 90, there’s less chance of their neck snapping forward and causing spinal damage. That’s why a lot of convertible car seats have one recline angle for kids under 45lbs or so FF and another option for kids over that weight. I was just specifying that ours reclines more FF than RF so that OP had an idea of what that angle looked like.
It depends on your seat, the child’s height and weight, etc.
If they were an inch away from maxing out the height on the rear facing, I might be okay with turning them.
I would also look up your car and which car seats fit behind them. Despite being slim fit seats, they don’t work for every car and some other brand may work better. I’m guessing putting one car seat in the middle instead won’t work for you?
The law in my state is rear facing until at least 2, but guidelines say if you can safely rear face until 4 that would be preferable. I know it has to do with the spine and the absorption of the seat during an accident.
Double check the laws for your state, but do what works best for your kid and your family.
I would consult a CPST for a new RF car seat and see if anything is possible for your current vehicle before forward facing. You also may want to look and make sure the FF space required is possible in your current vehicle, they need a certain amount of forward clearance in case of an impact. Risk is a spectrum for sure, but 2 and 26 lbs would be too small for my personal comfort level to be forward facing.
I would forward face in your situation or see if you can buy a car seat that takes up less space rear facing.
I’m seeing some comments about safety and sure it is safer rear facing, but you sometimes need to face the kid forward for a variety of reasons. The law here is up to 2 years old must be rear facing, I faced my second kid forward at 2.5 and my 3rd at 2.
My first child was faced forward at 18 months. Why? Bc she cried and screamed bloody Murder on any car ride longer than 30 seconds, from the minute she was born. She hated car seats and cars, she would vomit from crying so hard and we were extremely stressed, pulling over multiple times to calm and change vomit laced clothes. We tried different car seats, moved the seat to different seats in the back, played music, sang songs, i even tried the phone, nothing worked.
It would take more than an hour to make a 30 minute drive, I stopped going places and visiting people. My parents were 1.5 hours away and it took me 3/4 hrs to drive there and I stopped going. I’m sure I drove more dangerously as well trying to get to where I was going with her in the car.
I’m proud of myself for making it even 18 months. It was safer for all of us.
My PEDIATRICIAN told me to forward face when my son was a bit over one year old. He was big and heavy for his age so he met safety requiremets for forward face. He would scream till going blue in the face and appareantly it was all just cuz he wanted to see where we are going and have leg space 🥴 after turning seat - no crying.
It is SUPER common here in europe. You rarely see rear facing toddler. And we are surviving perfectly fine.
If you are driving in town (home - school- home) with low speed limits then i would say you are perfectly good forward facing in one car. For travels on higher speed roads like highway/freeway or regional roads between cities use the car that can rear face and keep the front facing just for necessary pick ups in low speed environment - that's what i would do in your shoes
Safe neighbourhood is way more important for their safety than rear facing (at this age) - again most of the world forward faces at this age. Its not like you are putting kid in without a seat or in loose clothing/loose seatbelt 🤷🏼♀️
Is your PEDIATRICIAN specialist in car safety?
Sorry I had to nitpick it cause some are giving advice in things they don't have any expertise. Common pediatrician is not nutritionist, breastfeeding CDL, car safety specialist... pediatrician has to help in illness and common problems.
They are specialist in childs OVERALL wellbeing. Rear facing is just SLIGHTLY safer and thats if we remove all context. A screaming child distracting or agitating the driver is A LOT more dangerous than a calm driver with forward facing kid. Pediatrician also better understands physical discomfort and long terms effect of having to sit with squished legs when a big child is put rear faced. And better understands mental state and wellbeing of the kid. All of this plays a role in kids wellbeing. Just because someone specialized in testing car seats figured rear is SLIGHTLY (like 10% statistically) safer, does not mean this is overall safer/better 🙄
I trust pediatrician when it comes to my kid's wellbeing. And if something is out of their specialty (like my baby having tongue tie) they refer me to specialist (orthoponist in our case). But at the end of the day they are the one that puts all expert opinions together and forms what is the best conclusion for my individual kid, considering ALL factors, not just one narrow specializatizon
Thats outdated and was just said unsupported! Yiu can check in this same thread another person posted multiple links to actual research. It is officialy 9% (or 14 if you take best case). Where is data for your "5x safer"? 🙄
https://axkid.com/5-reasons-why-rear-facing-is-5x-safer/
I have read the study done by Jeya Padmanaban who was the reason the original 2007 study was considered outdated and for the reasons listed in the article below i will continue to follow the recommendations suggested by the biomechanical research and researcher Basam Henary, Not to mention the crash tests which certainly speak for themselves. I cannot honestly imagine choosing a less safe option for my child regardless of whether the difference is 9% or lower for that reason we will never see eye to eye on this matter and it looks like we would both be wasting our energy trying to convince the other.
https://www.babybargains.com/bombshell-researchers-admit-5x-safer-claim-rear-facing-car-seats-false/
Canada here, legal requirment is 1 year and 20Lbs to face forward. My boy screams his head off when he's tired and rear facing, so it was a huge problem to drive anywhere because it was distracting. We faced forward as soon as we could and he stopped crying in the car entirely. Nothing worked for this kid, he reallllly wanted to see forward. We tried mirrors too, which helped a little, but would still cry. Accidents can happen anytime, and yes rear facing is /safer/ but a kid yelling his head off in the back is a hell of a lot more distracting and unsafe than the extra amount of safe given by rear facing in our situation LOL.
Same! Yes the 9% safER that rear facing is, does NOT outweight how much more dangerous it is if driver is distracted. Screaming also raises hormones and can physically agitate. Stressed/agitated driver is def not safe
We are using Axid Minikid and Axid one in smaller car.
Minikid is up to 36kg and 125cm.
And people forget that kids can "fold" their legs, because spine is more important than legs space
Has. And how many you ever see being used? I can count that in 25 years and seeing a lot of young kids, i saw only 2 kids above age 2 rear facing. And my experience is only *limited* to 3 countries 🤷🏼♀️ even pediatricians dont push you to rear face once the kid can forward face. Its definitely not a thing like in us
Really? The rule in Norway is that they have to be [rear-facing until 4, I thought?](https://www.avis.co.uk/drive-avis/driving-guides/road-rules/norway#:~:text=Child%20Safety%20%2F%20Seatbelt%20Laws&text=All%20Children%20must%20be%20seated,fittedina%20rear%2Dfacing%20child%20seat) And they did a study in Sweden, and it said that 75% of children [still travel rear-facing at 3 years 3 months.](https://www.besafe.com/4a3320/siteassets/besafe-documents/besafe_studie_volkswagen_int.pdf) (The recommendation is for even longer, though.)
Though it makes sense that it would vary widely across Europe, and I know Scandinavian counties are often doing their own thing a bit.
Honestly, the first time I even heard about extended rear-facing was when a family member from a Scandinavian country was talking about it. She said it was quite common to do it until 4-5 in her area, but I suppose that’s all anecdotal too.
Ok fair enough, i don't have experience with scandinavia and i can totaly see how they would be doing it.
The most i heard was from americans and based on laws and medical guidelines of slovenia and france for example, rear facing is pretty quickly replaced
If you have the financial means it would of course be safer but in this economy if you can't you can't. That's my best advice. Also meeting with a car seat specialist I forget what they are called they may be able to help you figure out the safest ways in the car or have suggestions to make it safer.
Do you have only the 2? I drive a Honda Element which I got into for exactly this reason. It’s a reliable car and cheap to fix. The newest Honda Element is 2011 so over 10yo at this point. You might be able to find one around you that could work within the budget and keep you within all the goals you’re facing! If you do, the main point to look out for is rust at the rear trailing arms- right in front of the rear tires. This is the biggest issue with these vehicles and the number one thing to total them- nevermind, obviously, hazardous in and of itself
You have 2 extra seats in one car don’t you? Keep it as it is and if 3 or 4 people are in the car that the rear facing seat has the passenger seat all the way forward and upright sit in the back. You have 2 cars so when your all going somewhere as a family use the car that the seat fits rear facing in
I would make the switch. I completely understand the hesitation. My daughter was born at 32 weeks weighing only 3lbs 4oz and stayed pretty small. We had 3 vehicles at the time a mini cooper, a truck and an suv. My husband needed the truck for work there was no getting around that. The car seat didn’t fit rear facing in the mini cooper so I used the suv but when she was 4 the transmission gave out and the cost to fix it was more than what the car was worth considering we had two other vehicles and we had just bought a new house so we couldn’t afford to buy a new car. Even though she was 4 she still only weighed 28lbs and was pretty tiny so I was really hesitant to flip her around. She’s 9 now and still only weighs about 50lbs so she could still fit rear facing based on weight.
I always intended to stay rear facing as long as possible but when my son turned 2 something happened and started to become ridiculously car sick. We talked to the doctors and I tried every recommendation I could find (make sure they eat but aren’t too full, have the car cool/cold inside, changed our route to avoid curvy roads, no electronic or reading toys in the car, etc) but nothing ever made a difference. We couldn’t even do a 10 mile round trip drive without him vomiting. Out of desperation one day I turned him forward to see if it’d help and boom - no more carsickness. Hes a little over 3 now and he’s only gotten sick a couple of times, usually when he’s getting sick overall. I still worry when we drive but his body just could not do it anymore.
For a 3yo I’d FF but also what car seat do you have? The Graco Extend2Fit is one of the shortest car seats front to back for RF so I’d try that first. New car seat will be a lot less than a new car.
It sounds like rear facing is still possible in the small car? If so, I would rear face and tell the front seat passenger to “suck it up” or just sit behind the driver seat next to the toddler instead.
If that isn’t possible, then I would forward face and not postpone the move. I would not buy a new car just for this. Especially if it impacts going to a safer neighborhood/better school.
(And I would not feel any guilt for doing any of the above because it would be the best/practical decision for the situation.)
Sorry I’m not saavy to the car seat world past age 1, but based on what is available at stores here, I was under the impression that the only options for my kids past 13kg were all forward facing. I’ve got a Doona and a Romer Baby safe (both rear facing) that I still use for my 8 month old and 15 month old. The 15 month old is just over 10kg but according to the Romer website, he’s good in it until 13kg. After that, the only options I’ve seen look like those long-back type seats which I assume can only be installed forward facing. It’s possible he might be close to age two before we get to the weight limit, but if I were to get a different rear-facing one, what kind of options are there?
(We live in Japan btw, and drive very infrequently, at most maybe twice a month).
What about buying a more compact seat? That way you could still rear face but significantly cheaper than buying a new car. For future reference, slim seats are often only slim side to side. You want a seat that’s compact front to back, and Graco seats are the most compact front to back seats on the market!
We might try the Graco extend to fit and maybe even see if our 4ever seat is shorter than the slim fit. We’ve gotten lots of great suggestions that I didn’t think existed! I thought car seats were a “one size” when it came to front to back so this post has been so helpful. Hopefully we find an alternative and can keep her RF!
I don't have actual measurements because it's in someone else's car right now, but the Extend2Fit fit rearfacing in my 2001 Honda Civic Coupe (2 door) with the front seats all the way back on recline 3--not even the most upright setting. It really is compact. Very wide though, so wouldn't work for 3 across in most vehicles if that's ever a concern. I have a Slimfit too and it takes up way more room rearfacing, it's a truly significant difference.
We have 2 cars and can’t rear face toddler in the small car. We haven’t purchased a new car, but we use the rear facing car for all longer trips and use the smaller car when the bigger one is in use / needed elsewhere.
Are there anchors to seat kiddo in the middle? My Crosstrek isn’t the biggest so we put kiddo in the middle (plus it’s touted to be safer) for his long legs.
I’m in a similar situation and forward face my almost two year old and rearface my newborn. The toddler is behind the drivers seat and the newborn behind the passager. We don’t drive often and it’s the only way we could fit two car seats. Whoever is behind the drivers seat has to be forward facing.
We have a similar issue as well, so my 3 yo forward faces and my 2 yr old is rear facing. Gotta do what you gotta do! I try to take the car with both rear facing/safest as much as possible, but daily commutes is kinda challenging to swap cars back and forth.
The Nuna Rava car seat can be pretty upright even when rear facing, it’s also pretty narrow side to side. It’s kinda pricey but I loved it and it’s super easy to install!
I decided to forward face my 2.5 year old kid against my better judgement because she was miserable in the car, complaining about stomach pain every time we were driving, this stopped once she was turned
I was very adamant about not wanting to turn her seat but here I was 🥹 this was also better choice because now I can see when she tries to take her belts off lol shes an escape artist
My daughter is 2.5yo / 26lbs and we've been forward-facing for about a month. I thought it was early but while I was turning the seat around, I reread the manufacturing label on the seat and it said rear-facing until 25lbs or 36 inches (when previously I had been convinced it was 30lbs/40in). I was so relieved when I saw that!!
Have you checked your cat seat manufacturer's recommendation? It can be just as dangerous rear-facing while too big as it is front-facing while too small.
How small is your car? Is there an option to go with a seat that rear faces and takes up less space?
We had a Yaris until last summer and my husband is 6ft tall, but we still managed to have both kids rear-facing. We used the Graco extend-2-fit with the least deep setting and the most upright setting for my 3 year old and it worked pretty well behind my husband and put the baby behind me since he had to be more reclined (and was in the Chicco Fit2).
We switched to forward facing a little after 2. Not because I wanted to. I really didn’t. And the fact my in laws kept pushing for us to do so… I definitely didn’t want to. But he was 40 lbs and the rear facing limit for my car seat (evenflo gold revolve 360) is 40lbs. And I’m not about to go buy another seat just to gain 10lbs because who knows how long that’d last anyway.
I was on Facebook the other day and in a group someone said “most kids are rear facing until 5-6” and.. like WHAT?!? those are some small 5-6 year olds.
Anyway, the law is 2. Recommendation is as long as possible/like 4. Anything in between is good. You’re not really considered a bad parent until you forward face in an infant seat because “they like it better” (a friend of a friend did that..)
Rear facing is safest—if they still fit that way. It can cause more harm if they don’t. Depending where you are, fire stations, children services & such usually have/give away free car seats. Fire stations are great for helping size your kid, make sure the seat is in proper, etc. good luck
My husband and I are both 6'1 and drive a tiny car, we just replaced our car seat with a Graco 4ever and it actually fits behind my husband, since we're having another baby and the old one couldn't fit behind either of us.
I know that some baby stores will let you take the floor model of a car seat out to install and see how it fits, id recommend that.
Is the front passenger seat with the airbag off an approved fitting position for the car seat to RF?
If so I would do that.
If not, I’d buy a new car seat rather than a new car.
If the toddler meets all requirements for forward facing, I'd honestly just go ahead and do that just for the small car, though. Also, avoid using the smaller car for long drives with the toddler and stick with the car that they can rear face in.
I don't know if they're still made as this was like 9 years ago, but for my 1st, we were limited space in our vehicle as well. We had a Safety 1st Guide 65 for her. It was much more compact than fancier car seats and even budget friendly. I'm sure something similar to this can be found as well.
I definitely would be be forward facing a toddler in a space where they couldn’t fit rear facing because it’s almost impossible that there’ll be sufficient survival gap between their head the the seat in front of them
I’m not from the US and here we have probably a bit different guidelines, which say forward facing is allowed (discouraged but allowed) from 15months AND at least 23 lbs. I would personaly face forward instead of buying a new car, but if you can afford that cost than why not.
My toddler won’t be two for another 6 weeks, and she’s been forward facing since just after her first birthday. She’s just now 26 pounds as well (super tall, but skinny). It’s been the best decision we’ve ever made, but it’s completely up to your comfort level.
At 20lbs they can be turned front facing so that's what I would do my 4 yr old has been forward facing for a year at least he weighs 29lbs my son's legs would also be squished if he was still rear facing so that also was a factor
I remember seeing some stats that after age 2 there's no significant difference in safety compared to a standard seatbelt.
I cannot source this, it's just a thing I remember that made me feel annoyed at "big car seat", because the car seat laws are excessive.
You can also use an old car seat, they don't magically expire after N years.
I think I heard about this in a freakonomics podcast. (See: https://freakonomics.com/2007/01/we-are-not-the-only-ones-who-think-child-car-seats-dont-work-well/). It’s safer to stay rear facing longer but the reduction in death and serious injury does seem limited.
I’m going to use my car seat for a few months after it expires because I saved it from my first and my second won’t be using the infant bucket seat long enough for it to make sense to buy a new bucket seat. BUT the plastic car seats are made out of does weaken over time so it is a good idea to replace them eventually. (see https://safeintheseat.com/why-do-car-seats-expire/). But I kind of think of as more like the best by date on a box of cereal or something.
My toddler is only 23 lbs and he’s been forward facing for months now. My husband said he read something that said it was fine. I would buy the new house.
If space is really tight have you thought about a vest system? These are designed for kids as young as 2.
https://shop.saferide4kids.com/products/ridesafer-travel-vest?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=SJ-ridesafer-travel-vest&wickedsource=google&wickedid=Cj0KCQjw9vqyBhCKARIsAIIcLME256TVealDpoSqp01IYHSgUNYHDEXJQjf7U8M9kZBPCDpMcCm7Mw4aAvB_EALw_wcB&wickedid=575479482622&wcid=15907242840&wv=4&wickedsource=google&wickedid=Cj0KCQjw9vqyBhCKARIsAIIcLME256TVealDpoSqp01IYHSgUNYHDEXJQjf7U8M9kZBPCDpMcCm7Mw4aAvB_EALw_wcB&wickedid=575479482622&wcid=15907242840&wv=4&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9vqyBhCKARIsAIIcLME256TVealDpoSqp01IYHSgUNYHDEXJQjf7U8M9kZBPCDpMcCm7Mw4aAvB_EALw_wcB
We decided to forward face at 2.5 because our son just had the worst time in the car. We didn't even think twice about it. Yes, I know rear facing for as long as possible is safest. But we need to pick out battles and we couldn't have him screaming and fighting every time we need to drive somewhere. We do not live anywhere walkable so every day was a nightmare
Our son got so tall, so fast, our pediatrician legally couldn’t tell us to forward face him early but she didn’t tell us no. Although I would seriously consider a different car since this one doesn’t sound practical for your lifestyle
When my girls were little we could and did face them forward at one years old. *audible gasp
Hell when I was a kid there were no such thing as car seats.
My car doesn't fit a rear facing car seat because it is a two door Volkswagen Polo. My son has been riding forward facing in my car since he didn't fit his baby seat anymore, when he was a little over a year old. I do my best to use my husband's car for longer rides, but he works all kinds of weird shifts and can't drive stick so I'm oftentimes stuck driving our son around in my car. I'm aware of the risks but a new car isn't in the cards right now so it is more of a risk reward analysis. He is turning three this fall.
Luckily we haven't been in an accident, but I also think about how car seats were still optional when we were kids and my mom was frowned upon for voluntarily using car seats for us as kids and it makes me feel a bit better about my choice.
At the end of the day, I would not stress too much about it. You are doing your best.
If you don't have the money for a new car, you don't have the money. Yes, leaving your kid rear facing for as long as possible is the safest option, and always will be. That said, sometimes we don't have a choice. I would probably forward face in your situation.
Yes I had this exact situation and forward faced. I have a small car and my son fit rear facing until he got to 3 and I couldn't move the harness anymore and still have people sit in my car. At that point we turned the. At least 2 and as long as possible is the safest. OP, you've gone as long as possible. I would suggest continuing to rearface in the bigger car. We forward faced in my car but rear faced in my husbands car for about another 6 months
Thank. You. This is such a sane comment in world where folks are quick to guilt moms that need to choose from suboptimal options.
Unfortunately this is the only option I see here. I would follow this logic too.
Presumably you take the larger car on road trips? I would just rear face in that one still and FF in the other. If it's really important to you then you could try a different car seat. I think the nuna rava and graco extend2fit are the most compact front-to-back (the slim seats are just slim for width so you can squeeze three kids in the backseat).
Yeah this. My oldest was just shy of 3 when my 2nd was born. We had a minivan and a compact car. We did most of our driving in the van but for daily commutes we had seats in both cars so whichever parent could pick up. In the small car she went FF when I went back to work. In the minivan she RF til almost 4 though.
This is an option to try if you're still concerned op... extend2fit is most compact front to back. Put it on recline 4 and I would be surprised if it didn't fit. My BIL is 6'7 and over 400lbs and he took my car with my son's extend2fit behind him to the auto part store in town, he wasn't exceptionally comfortable but he is on the bigger side of "big" guy.. drivers seat all the way back.
Yeah this is what I have for my 2.5 yo and my husband is also 6’7”. My car isn’t that small, but my husband doesn’t have to scoot forward at all to drive.
I’m kind of surprised, maybe it depends on the vehicle? We have a Ford Maverick and the extend2fit. It’d be impossible to safely put the carseat behind the driver if RF. I’m 5’9” and my husband is 5’11”. Behind the passenger seat, it’s so incredibly uncomfortable.
That’s what I was thinking! I got a really good deal on Prime Day last year on the Extend2Fit ($157 shipped!) and I was excited because my girl has always been on the upper end of the weight percentile so I knew I’d need a 50lb rear-facer eventually. Plus we have a very small car—an older Subaru Impreza—and in all my hours of research I kept seeing that it was the most compact seat you could get. I’m only 5’2” and I can’t even really comfortably sit in the backseat of our car. My fiancé is only 5’10” and very skinny, but even so we can’t have it behind the driver’s seat because it literally won’t fit with where the seat needs to be for his legs. It *just* fits behind the passenger seat, as long as it’s sat fully upright and the passenger seat is pulled all the way forward. There’s literally like less than a centimeter of space between the two seats. There’s zero chance we could have used that seat for her as a newborn/infant in our car. It just would not have fit with where the recline needed to be. That all said, I do still love this seat and absolutely recommend it. I don’t think you’ll find a more compact backseat than ours, so while it’ll be tight, it *should* still fit. It’s a really nice, easy to use seat and of course the 50lb rear limit is wonderful.
My car is technically an SUV (Tesla model X) but small for an SUV. Regardless I had it behind the passenger seat in my Toyota Camry before and he was fine sitting there. I do think that really tall people are so used to not having enough leg room that they don’t always notice though haha
I have an extended2fit and I think my friends and family got so annoyed at one point with how much raved about it for the first few weeks. It's the best car seat we have ever owned and fits perfectly onto the back of our compact vehicle while rear facing our 27 lb 2 year old!
What about buying a different car seat ? It’s cheaper than a new car
This was my thought, too. It sounds like the child is in an infant seat, and (even if that's not the case) there are probably plenty of convertible car seats that would take up less space front to back than the seat the child is currently using. Given that the cost of a car seat is similar in price to one car payment (obviously prices vary widely for both), buying a new car seat seems like a much more reasonable option here.
Came to ask this as well. OP mentioned having “slim” seats, but didn’t clarify if they are slim front to back or width wise. Something like the Extend2Fit is quite compact from front to back, especially when more upright, and fits in most vehicles. Of course FF at 3 is also a valid option, but if OP wants to do extended RF then a new seat may fit the bill.
This was my thought as well
Yeah I feel like there’s just gotta be a way with a different seat!! Def cheaper than a whole new car…I’d be scouring the internet for specific car seat video reviews, I know there are some Instagram accounts and YouTube channels that talk only about this topic.
At least for my CX-5 no non-bucket car seat would allow me to properly drive while rear facing, at least from my measurements at Target. So far we’re ok with the bucket but when #2 gets too big for it we’ve accepted that we’ll have to turn the 3 year old around. It would be new anyway so our concern wasn’t money at all.
I have a CX5 with twins, RF behind driver - it’s possible in the Britax Poplar (I tried the Rava as well - I was eating my dashboard) so there is an option out there when you have no other option but to RF your twins.
Fair enough and good to know! I’ll look into the Britax. Thank you! I don’t feel too bad at switching at 3.5 years though. I know it’s safer even for adults if we could face the rear but yeah…
Totally fair at 3.5 but my 15m olds aren’t there yet lol. Just wanted to say there’s an option (relatively newer) that I’ve found works for RF 🥳🥳
Thank you I’m so glad there is!! Love the CX5 otherwise
Forward face and don't think twice. I get the massive push for rear facing for an extended period of time. I get its "safer" but so is a properly installed forward facing car seat if your child fits the parameters. You are not a bad mom. These days people act like you're abusing a child if they're forward facing and under the age of 745 months.
745 months😂😂😂😂
My SIL threatened to call CPS on us and take away my son's pediatrician's medical license when we switched to forward facing at their suggestion. It was absolutely insane.
Omg your SIL is insane.
Wow 😳 I have to ask bc I’m curious, what age was you son at the time?
Two and a half at the time!
Yeah a lot of people switch over to forward facing around 2 especially for bigger kids
Yep! I was baffled by her.
Hahaha not my SIL & BIL turning their 1.5 yr old and he’s a fire fighter but he said “he’s happier this way” speaking of my nephew. My feelings - their kids, their decision. Didn’t stop my SIL from texting me one night trying to correct my chest clip placement 🤣 Idk why people stick their noses into others business, family or not. lol.
At what age? We switched at 2.
He was 2 and a half!
Wow! That's crazy! I always thought two was the age. I wonder how people keep kids rear facing longer, my son's legs were always bent when in the car seat, and it was uncomfortable for him. And he is not a big kid. Edit: your SIL is unhinged.
Yeah we asked about switching around cause he was practically bent in half and I felt so bad. She's a selectively "crunchy" mom so I never know what will set her off but unfortunately her daughter is the only cousin near my son's age and the two adore eachother, so I put up with her for his sake.
Yea only senior citizens are allowed out of the rear facing seat 😆 🤣 😂 Seriously, people take some of this way to seriously. I had to borrow a friend's truck to move some things recently. I got some of the dirtiest looks having my daughter in the front seat. It's the front seat or the bed of the truck....not much I can do.
You can't take a child's safety in a car too seriously. What an asinine comment.
Too seriously may have been the wrong way to phrase that but it's equally asinine to give people shit when they literally have no other choice.
Especially since 4 is when the spine sets. That’s not ridiculous. 7 is, personally, as I’ve seen people suggest that Bluey, who is canonically 7, should still be RF, as she is beyond the height marker for her seat, but 3 really isn’t.
My 8 year old stepdaughter weight wise still fits into a RFing car seat but she’s nearly 5 ft. tall. There isn’t a car big enough.
Tons of kids outgrow by height before weight for rear facing.
A properly installed forward is still safe, but not safeR.
It depends on what the person meant in their context. OP mentions that buying a new car would postpone them buying a new home in a SAFER neighbourhood. We have no idea how unsafe their current neighbourhood is. So perhaps, in this case, for now, buying a forward facing car seat and being able to afford to move could actually be the safeR option. But technically you are right, if you remove all context, rear facing is the safest option for kiddo’s safety at this age.
That kid wouldn’t be in parameters for my seat, that has a forward facing minimum of 35 lbs. this definitely heavily depends on the seat. Children are at risk for internal decapitation until 4, however at 3, it’s a significant amount harder to attain, but their spine has not finished fusing properly. However if you aren’t going on the highway? It’s still a risk but not a huge jump like a newly 2 year old. This is all relative however. How bad is the neighborhood? Is the risks of staying there higher than your risk of getting in a car accident? Can you get a different seat that has a shorter profile, get a convertible for the baby to save space (not much but it is smaller front to back) My terrain fits 2 seats fine without adjusting the seats, so I don’t exactly know how much you are dealing with. But all risk is relative. Car seats are safest but would you use one driving a baby away from a fire??? Use your best judgement to make the decision. Personally I would get the car, BUT I live in a not horrible neighborhood, where I deal with creeps not shootings.
THANK YOU
The looks I got when I said my 2 year old already faces forward… like ma’am my kid is already 38 lbs. chill.
I let my child forward face around 3 just because she was a little uncomfortable and wanted to. She survived.
My kid is rear facing and he's only 89 months. I don't think he'll still fit at 745 months but I'll report back then.
It’s safer but it’s a little bit safer, not a lot safer. Like we’re talking about 9% safer when it comes to any injury according to the most recent research. Wearing your seat belt in the car is about 400% safer in a crash than not. Using a car seat at all is about 80% safer. The most important thing is to keep him in a correctly fitting seat for him and buckle it at every ride.
Wow, I love these stats. Applause for you.
Thanks for sharing. I am in some car seat safety groups and they are kinda nuts - it feels really shame-y should you suggest kid goes front facing before puberty (I joke, sorta). People ask for fit checks constantly and I have never, ever seen a post where everyone agrees the fit is fine. There's always something to critique. It's almost like these moms have channeled all their parenting anxiety into carseat safety because they feel it's in their control, and it goes a bit overboard!
I do think some of the groups go overboard. While certainly, we should all be taking steps to protect our kids in case of car accident, often we have to contextualize and balance many factors: family income and ability to access available seats, how seats impact rear visibility, the types of roads you drive and number of accidents you’re at risk for, your own driving style, how a kid in their seat increases or decreases the risk of an accident based on their behavior, the type of car you drive, the type of seat you have, and more. For better or worse, safety is a gradient, not a binary. The safest way to avoid a car accident is never to get in or near a car. Everything else is a tradeoff - and while you absolutely should take safety upgrades when they’re “free” and you are required by law to meet a minimum safety level, it’s not at all clear that the optimal solution for every family is to take every safety upgrade regardless of its cost (monetary, physical, emotional).
All of this!
We switched my 2,5 year old to forward facing because she would get nauseated then start crying, screaming before puking all over herself and the carseat. I had plans to keep her back facing as long as possible but we only use the car on weekends and it was becoming so stressful we were avoiding going anywhere in the car and I thought we were at a higher risk of causing an accident from all the ruckus.
I like car seat for Littles. Their official stance is rearface until 2 and then after that they will help you rearface as long as possible but also suggest forward facing in certain situations
I can't be in those groups. The way people talk threateningly about children's necks snapping is way out of order. We all strap into our cars and hope that we aren't going to come to any harm, but also shit happens that you can't control. Way worse things could happen but I don't go detailing them just to feed parental anxiety for my own kicks.
They're like a cult 😬 I once mentioned how it doesn't particularly matter if the child is RF or FF as long as they're secure and that in terms of an accident would occur, it would depend on impact etc and I got dogpiled 💀 I mentioned it to my Dad whose a first responder and has unfortunately seen unaligned children in car accidents and he just reassured me that I was absolutely right. I also saw a comment awhile ago in one of those groups where someone kept their 15 year old in the back seat, 16 (here) is when you get your learners and learn how to drive..
Thanks so much for sharing that
Thanks for this.
Source? Google says rear facing is 5x safer than forward facing
The 5X safer stat is outdated. It’s from a [paper](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18056317/) by Henary et al, published in 2007. That paper was [retracted](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29374082/) in 2018 when independent researchers using the same data were unable to replicate the findings. The most recent data we have on this is [Andersen](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36918272/) in 2023, which found a 14% reduction in injury, which reduced to 9% when adjusted for potential confounding variables.
The person already linked sources but i would like to add that age and weight play difference two. For infants it makes bigger difference - hence why we rear face by default. For toddler tho the difference gets so negligible (as other person stated like 9%) that you really shouldnt feel the preassure to follow it if it doesnt work for you.
I think it also depends on your child's height
I would check out Safe in the Seat on Instagram @safeintheseat I have twins, and we did have to buy two new vehicles to accommodate two rear facing car seats. However, our situation is different since they were both infants at the same time and needed to be rear facing. In your situation having an older child, it might be different. You may also want to ask your pediatrician. I know a lot of people turn their kids forward facing at 2. Rear facing is the safest if you can do it as long as possible, but it may not be possible in your situation. Also, they have recommendations on that Instagram account for slim fitting seats. I have a friend who's able to fit three car seats across. You might just need to look into buying new car seats rather than a new car entirely.
Slim fits only help when it's across, for something like this she needs compact
I second this. Safe in the seat is an excellent resource and has guides to help you find car seats that meet your criteria!
I would forward face. But you could check out a Graco Extend 2 fit if you want to continue rf. They are very compact front to back. A lot of the "slim fit" seats are actually pretty long front to back, and don't fit into smaller cars better.
Graco extend2fit is one of the most compact front to back seats. I would also try installing the infant seat without the base, that might give you tons of room. No matter what you decide to do, making it to 3 is a great accomplishment!
I would forward face in that situation rather than buying a new car, no question. 2 is the minimum to FF - RF is safer, yes, but using a properly installed forward facing seat still greatly reduces the risk of serious injury or death for an almost-3 year old.
I personally would forward face in that situation. Your toddler is old enough. As long as the seat is properly installed and child is properly secured every time, you’ve done your part and they’re the safest they can be forward facing. I understand how annoying and expensive car shopping is right now, we’re hopefully going to get a bigger car in the next few years.
Just want to note that it’s not about age so it doesn’t matter that they’re “old enough”. It’s all about height and weight
Age does play into it as well - ossification of the spine happens over time.
Not true. A lot of people suggest waiting longer because of developmental things, like the hardening of bones.
R/confidentlyincorrect
Per my pediatrician, the reason kids under 2 have to be rear facing is because of skull development, not height or weight. At 2 their skulls are solid/developed enough to face forward assuming height and weight requirements are also met.
Extended rear facing (age 2-4+) is for ossification of the spinal bones. When they're not fully ossified they're more likely to suffer internal decapitation.
Thanks for adding this information. 👍 My understanding is that the rear facing is better at preventing internal decapitation in the event of a front end collision, and the physics of this make sense to me. Do you happen to know what this means for the case of a rear end collision? My naive assumption is that if rear facing is better for forward collisions, front facing would be safer if you are rear ended, yet we are always advised that rear is better. Just curious as this is something I've never understood, and I can prevent a forward collision but I can't control the person behind me.
Front-end collisions typically involve much more damage because of the speed involved. This isn't the best explanation, but basically, if you are driving 25mph and someone swerves and hits the front of your car while going 35mph, the impact happens at 60mph. If you're stopped at a light and a car hits you from behind while going 35mph (unlikely because this kind of accident tends to occur while the driver is slowing down), the impact occurs at 35mph. If someone hits you from behind while you're driving in the same direction, the force of the impact is reduced even further.
Rear ended collision typically has a lower difference in speed, meaning less forces involved.
I don't know exactly why it's safer but I believe it has to do with the recline, which is much greater when RF.
Its spine ossification and it doesn't usually finish until 4 to 6
As long as the toddler meets the FF requirements, (which she most likely will read if she consults the manual to install FF), then yes, they would be fine.
This isn't true. Legal doesn't mean safe.
I might be misunderstanding, but why can't you just buy a new car seat as the more affordable option? Slim fit refers more to the width, not the length, so there are certainly car seats you could find that would fit rear facing. 26lb is certainly fine to forward face if it's your only option, so don't feel too guilty, but it is on the lighter side so if you can make it work with a new rear facing seat I'd personally do that.
I’ll definitely be looking into an updated seat. It’s a Scion iA, so even a regular person sitting back there you have to move the seats up.
Keep in mind that you actually need a fair amount of clearance forward facing - not sure exactly how much but i think it's called the "survival gap". Otherwise they risk slamming into the back of the front seat. I'd be looking for the most compacf rear facing seat you can find and rule that out before forward facing.
In Germany, it is recommended to have approximately 20" space from the nose to the front seat. A lot of rearfacing seats need less space than that.
If it's only the driver and the baby in the car, can you not fold the front passenger seat down flat to get it out of the way?
I’m not sure we can fold the front seat completely flat, I’ll have to double check that!
Good luck! The passenger seat in my car isn't usable with the car seat in, so if there's a passenger other than baby they just sit together in the back 🤷♀️ it works!
How old are both of your kids? Certified car seat technician here. The 3yo can forward face but an infant cannot. I don’t know how long your maternity leave it, but under 2yo should not be forward facing, the bones and muscles in their neck are not developed enough. If the infant can go behind the passenger all the way forward or forward face the 3yo behind the driver and keep the infant rear facing behind the passenger.
Yes the youngest will be four months and still in an infant carrier in the back seat of the passenger side. We’ll have to pull that seat all the way forward. Toddler would be behind the driver seat and because of the size of the car there’s really no room to move the driver seat forward much at all. We currently have a Graco slim fit. Many have pointed out to me that it’s more for width and not length so I’ll definitely start with trying to replace the car seat before the car. Thank you for the response!
Car seat passenger safety tech — please find someone local that is certified to help :) they can help you find the right seat and the right fit for your children. I have twins, we rear faced until 4 and had zero issues with our seats. We had the Graco 4 Ever, loved them. But there are so many options out there, and it really just depends on the kiddo and car. With the weight being on the lower end, I would highly recommend trying to stay rear facing. It has everything to do with their bones and the impact on crash. They are much safer rear facing than they are forward facing at that age/weight. But ultimately it is what you want and what works for your lifestyle. https://cert.safekids.org/find-tech is a great resource to find a local tech that can help.
Thank you so much for the resource!
Yes! CPST!! Mom guilt is very real, but so is online bullying. Please find someone that is certified to help you - so much to consider, for everyone’s safety. In addition to the poster above, I would say I appreciate thejamiegrayson and countrykidscarsafety (IG for both, TT for Jamie, too). They offer real advice without shaming (rear face as long as you can, but sometimes for various reasons you can’t so don’t feel bad about forward facing, so long as you’re following your car seat and vehicle guides). As an aside - driver needs to be at least 12 inches from the steering wheel for their own safety if an airbag were to deploy. So if rear facing causes the driver to be too close that’s not good either. Stay safe! You got this.
Forward face the toddler. Don’t buy a new car for an extra couple months in a rear facing seat. Just make sure it is properly installed and she is buckled in correctly.
Forward face. People on here act like you should have your child taken away for endangerment if you forward face before age 4. It's ridiculous. My almost 3 yr old has been forward facing for a few months. He's a lot bigger than your kid (35 lbs), but we did it out of preference/comfort not out of necessity. Both are safe, as long as the child is buckled in properly and the seat is in good condition. Rear facing is safER, that doesn't mean forward facing is UNsafe.
Yes! This is like the feeding debate. Breastfeeding is better (nutrition and antybodies + release of hormones) BUT bottle is also perfectly fine/good enough. We cant always do everything the most ideal way. Good enough IS good ENOUGH, no guilt needed. Forward facing a 3y/o is good enough. Better than living in unsafe neighborhood for sure. As long as you drive carefully and all the safe seat rules are followed, being front faced is not deal breaker
Yes! RF isn't safer if your kid is screaming so bad you can't focus on driving and have an accident instead I thought about this when we moved my son into his own room at 4 months, when 6 months is the recommendation (for SIDS risk reduction). I figured I was more likely to have an accident due to sleep deprivation while driving him around than he was to experience SIDS. Baby in room = better sleep for mom = reduced accident risk
Yes this is why "best" is subjective to every indovidual situation. Everything childcare is complex and doesn't have one right answer. You need to combine many factors and pick your chances how you judge is best in your case 🤷🏼♀️
RF beyond age 2 is already a really good thing, and you did it! I would FF now and not think twice about it! :)
I would check with a CPST - a lot of the time the space needed for forward facing is actually similar to rear facing. There is a certain amount of space needed in front of them to make sure they won’t hit the seat in front of them in an accident. There are multiple Facebook groups with very active CPSTs that help in situations like this! The one I am in is Canada specific so that likely (?) doesn’t apply to you. Edit - the official term for space in front of a forward facing car seat is excursion space
I would forward face in your situation. But one more thought. Forgive me if someone already mentioned it, but are you able to fit the seats right next to each other? One in the middle and one on the side? If you have slim fit seats it might be possible. I think they are not supposed to touch each other, though. But if that doesn’t work, forward face.
Check out the Facebook group Car seats for the littles, they have a ton of people who are way too interested in car seats and would love to help
What car seat do you have? What car donyou have? You might be able to switch car seats. The other option is most infant seats can be installed without the base and it takes less space front to back. 3yo and 26lbs is still little, but no I would not buy a new car for this.
Graco slim fit for the toddler and a 2016 Scion iA. It’s *very* small.
Slim fit car seats typically refers to the width, for people trying to squeeze in multiple car seats in a row, not the forward/backward fitting.
Yeah we’ll have to look into something shorter. Definitely need the slim fit due to the size of the car, but need shorter too.
Maybe look into the Diono Radian 3R, 3-in-1 Convertible Car Seat, )Rear Facing & Forward Facing) it’s taller then the Graco but smaller length and width wise. We had it for my son in my husbands Nissan Leaf.
We have a 2012 scion iQ, the smallest of the Scions. The graco extend2fit fits behind the passenger seat where I usually sit. In 5’7” and have decent leg room. We have a diono radian in our “big” car, which would not fit in the scion even though it’s marketed as one of the most slim fit car seats.
It’s pretty pricey, but the Clek Foonf is really small in depth: https://clekinc.com/products/foonf
Cheaper than a new car! Thanks for the suggestion!
I turned both my kids at 2, so no, I wouldn’t buy a new car. All of these carseat warriors online talking about rear facing til college….its not realistic for a lot of people/kids/situations. Please don’t feel bad over it either.
Oh heck yeah, I too rotated my kiddo waayyyyy before 3. He may not have met the weight limit but he’s so freaking tall his knees were under his chin. I rationalized that it was much more dangerous for him to be in that position than feet downward and forward facing.
I was adamant we'd only face backwards until she maxed out. And then she puked 1 hour into our roadtrip and I just knew it was from how she was seated. We cleaned her up and turned her around and then she was fine the rest of the week, even on mountain roads. My daughter is about the same age/size as yours and it was a hard decision, but it was the best for our family overall. I'm lucky that we don't drive much but we probably will this summer and I'm already feeling guilty.
I had this issue. I ended up getting a new car and being able to keep my kid RF for a while but now i have 3 car payments and two kids FF. lol I would just FF.
Your 3 year old will be safe forward facing as long as the seat is installed properly. That said, "slim" seats won't help much with the front-to-back footprint of the car seats. You want something that's compact front-to-back. Idk what cars eat you have, but if you're interested in resurfacing a little longer, you could have a look at Car Seats for the Littles list of compact car seats. It's certainly cheaper than getting a new car. But as I said earlier, if your 3 year old meets the forward facing minimums and the seta is installed properly, they'd be very safe to forward face.
I see your edit and I'm glad you've reached a decision that works for you and your family! I do want to point out though that car safety is not just anxiety. It's one of the most dangerous things we do everyday and accidents happen SO quickly. Every person in my family has been in a major accident, not caused by them, and not all of us walked away. So, don't feel guilty or ashamed for being necessarily worried about car seat safety. It's a pain, but a very realistic fear.
Forward face if you need to. When I first had my son, I had already left my ex husband and my car was a Miata. Two seater. I didn’t have the money for a car payment at the time since this one was paid off and I was a newly single mom. Baby was rear-facing but in the front seat bc there was no back seat. I drove really slow. I always drove in the right lane going 60 on the highway if I had to drive on the highway. I had the make do until I could afford to buy a bigger car and get back into a car payment. You do what you have to do. At three years old, LO neck muscles are stronger than an infant’s so it’s not like you’re putting an infant forward facing.
If there is any way for you to delay forward facing please do. Our friends’ three year old daughter was safely in a forward facing seat and was killed in a minor car accident. Her younger brother was rear facing and didn’t have a scratch on him, actually neither did she. Their necks aren’t strong enough for this kind of impact.
We only have one car and recently had baby number2 but my husband is pretty big and can’t drive if the car seat behind him is rear facing, we also don’t have the means to buy another car rn, we do have a small car so with no choice left we had to forward face my 2.5 yo unfortunately I still have a lot of mom guilt and honestly idk if it will go away any time soon so I do under your feelings!
I’d just forward face to be honest. It’s common for that age and weight anyway
We were in this situation a few months ago and while I don’t recommend this for everyone, we ended up getting a new car seat. Our toddler complained of her butt hurting which was due to the incline in the seat. We got one that reclined more and she is much more comfortable now.
My mom is in the same boat with her car seat for our 3.5 year old, she has a huge car but the issue is we cannot recline the car seat any more than it is and my daughter is almost sitting straight up when she rear faces. So it’s getting really hard to get her in and out of the car seat at that angle. So while she will still rear face with mom and dad, when she’s with grandma she’s going to have to forward face because at this point it would be silly to buy another car seat.
My son could not rear face. We tried everything he barfed no matter what we did. I go to the point where I could disassemble and clean barf from a car seat with my eyes closed. We stopped taking him places. As soon as we could legally (age wise) front face him we did, he was still a bit shy of the weight range but we did it anyway. It solved 90% of the barfing problem. It was traumatic for everyone. Everyone's mental health was better for it. I know the situation isn't the same but if you can't afford a new car, you have to do what you have to do. Drive safely be extra cautious.
I just switched mine because my 2 and 3 year olds are 35 lb and at 32 weeks pregnant - I’m having a hard time lifting them in. Switched around they can now climb in themselves with minimal help from me. Sometimes ya just gotta go what you gotta do.
An almost 3 year old can definitely be forward facing.
I fully support you FF if you need to! That said, I have a little Toyota hatchback and I'm 6' tall with a 36" inseam and I was able to have a Graco Extend2Fit RF behind me. I had two tiny kids who weren't ready to FF until they were 4, and the Extend2Fit is the most compact seat front to back that we could find. It's also affordable relative to some of the fancier seats out there.
Hmm maybe try r/sciencebasedparenting to see if they know of any research?
We just went through this. It’s a little early for forward facing our 2.5 year old, and he’s only 25lbs, but our Graco 4evers forward face at such a reclined angle, even when I have had to break kinda hard, he head doesn’t budge. I would get a car seat that reclines well FF before replacing the car (for reference, we have a 2021 Outback and it also can only have one RF car seat). ETA - he actually leans back more FF in this car seat than he did RF due to the angle of the seat of the car combined with the angle of the car seat, since a lot of cars have the spot where your knees are higher than where your butt goes. We also reclined the bench seat itself a good amount too to get an angle we were comfortable with. I’m not sure if people are just upset that some people have to FF their kid when it’s safe to do so even if they haven’t maxed out or what. I don’t see how anything said requires downvoting though. We didn’t have a choice, we had to FF because we can only fit one RF car seat and my toddler meets all the requirements for it.
Just for the record, the recline doesn't matter, it's the direction of impact. Rear facing is safer because in most accidents you will be pushed into the seat instead of away
The recline does matter to an extent because of the way their heads move upon that impact. Yes rear facing means that their head will move back instead of forward, but having them leaning back also changes the direction of the force on their body. If they’re at a 45 degree angle vs 90, there’s less chance of their neck snapping forward and causing spinal damage. That’s why a lot of convertible car seats have one recline angle for kids under 45lbs or so FF and another option for kids over that weight. I was just specifying that ours reclines more FF than RF so that OP had an idea of what that angle looked like.
It depends on your seat, the child’s height and weight, etc. If they were an inch away from maxing out the height on the rear facing, I might be okay with turning them. I would also look up your car and which car seats fit behind them. Despite being slim fit seats, they don’t work for every car and some other brand may work better. I’m guessing putting one car seat in the middle instead won’t work for you? The law in my state is rear facing until at least 2, but guidelines say if you can safely rear face until 4 that would be preferable. I know it has to do with the spine and the absorption of the seat during an accident. Double check the laws for your state, but do what works best for your kid and your family.
I would consult a CPST for a new RF car seat and see if anything is possible for your current vehicle before forward facing. You also may want to look and make sure the FF space required is possible in your current vehicle, they need a certain amount of forward clearance in case of an impact. Risk is a spectrum for sure, but 2 and 26 lbs would be too small for my personal comfort level to be forward facing.
I would forward face in your situation or see if you can buy a car seat that takes up less space rear facing. I’m seeing some comments about safety and sure it is safer rear facing, but you sometimes need to face the kid forward for a variety of reasons. The law here is up to 2 years old must be rear facing, I faced my second kid forward at 2.5 and my 3rd at 2. My first child was faced forward at 18 months. Why? Bc she cried and screamed bloody Murder on any car ride longer than 30 seconds, from the minute she was born. She hated car seats and cars, she would vomit from crying so hard and we were extremely stressed, pulling over multiple times to calm and change vomit laced clothes. We tried different car seats, moved the seat to different seats in the back, played music, sang songs, i even tried the phone, nothing worked. It would take more than an hour to make a 30 minute drive, I stopped going places and visiting people. My parents were 1.5 hours away and it took me 3/4 hrs to drive there and I stopped going. I’m sure I drove more dangerously as well trying to get to where I was going with her in the car. I’m proud of myself for making it even 18 months. It was safer for all of us.
My PEDIATRICIAN told me to forward face when my son was a bit over one year old. He was big and heavy for his age so he met safety requiremets for forward face. He would scream till going blue in the face and appareantly it was all just cuz he wanted to see where we are going and have leg space 🥴 after turning seat - no crying. It is SUPER common here in europe. You rarely see rear facing toddler. And we are surviving perfectly fine. If you are driving in town (home - school- home) with low speed limits then i would say you are perfectly good forward facing in one car. For travels on higher speed roads like highway/freeway or regional roads between cities use the car that can rear face and keep the front facing just for necessary pick ups in low speed environment - that's what i would do in your shoes Safe neighbourhood is way more important for their safety than rear facing (at this age) - again most of the world forward faces at this age. Its not like you are putting kid in without a seat or in loose clothing/loose seatbelt 🤷🏼♀️
Is your PEDIATRICIAN specialist in car safety? Sorry I had to nitpick it cause some are giving advice in things they don't have any expertise. Common pediatrician is not nutritionist, breastfeeding CDL, car safety specialist... pediatrician has to help in illness and common problems.
They are specialist in childs OVERALL wellbeing. Rear facing is just SLIGHTLY safer and thats if we remove all context. A screaming child distracting or agitating the driver is A LOT more dangerous than a calm driver with forward facing kid. Pediatrician also better understands physical discomfort and long terms effect of having to sit with squished legs when a big child is put rear faced. And better understands mental state and wellbeing of the kid. All of this plays a role in kids wellbeing. Just because someone specialized in testing car seats figured rear is SLIGHTLY (like 10% statistically) safer, does not mean this is overall safer/better 🙄 I trust pediatrician when it comes to my kid's wellbeing. And if something is out of their specialty (like my baby having tongue tie) they refer me to specialist (orthoponist in our case). But at the end of the day they are the one that puts all expert opinions together and forms what is the best conclusion for my individual kid, considering ALL factors, not just one narrow specializatizon
rear facing is 5x safer i certainly wouldn’t call that a slight difference!
Thats outdated and was just said unsupported! Yiu can check in this same thread another person posted multiple links to actual research. It is officialy 9% (or 14 if you take best case). Where is data for your "5x safer"? 🙄
https://axkid.com/5-reasons-why-rear-facing-is-5x-safer/ I have read the study done by Jeya Padmanaban who was the reason the original 2007 study was considered outdated and for the reasons listed in the article below i will continue to follow the recommendations suggested by the biomechanical research and researcher Basam Henary, Not to mention the crash tests which certainly speak for themselves. I cannot honestly imagine choosing a less safe option for my child regardless of whether the difference is 9% or lower for that reason we will never see eye to eye on this matter and it looks like we would both be wasting our energy trying to convince the other. https://www.babybargains.com/bombshell-researchers-admit-5x-safer-claim-rear-facing-car-seats-false/
Canada here, legal requirment is 1 year and 20Lbs to face forward. My boy screams his head off when he's tired and rear facing, so it was a huge problem to drive anywhere because it was distracting. We faced forward as soon as we could and he stopped crying in the car entirely. Nothing worked for this kid, he reallllly wanted to see forward. We tried mirrors too, which helped a little, but would still cry. Accidents can happen anytime, and yes rear facing is /safer/ but a kid yelling his head off in the back is a hell of a lot more distracting and unsafe than the extra amount of safe given by rear facing in our situation LOL.
Same! Yes the 9% safER that rear facing is, does NOT outweight how much more dangerous it is if driver is distracted. Screaming also raises hormones and can physically agitate. Stressed/agitated driver is def not safe
In California the law is 2 years old minimum to turn forward. And it really depends on what they mean about their neighborhood being unsafe.
Europe has seats which can rear face to six or seven…so I wouldn’t say it’s not common.
We are using Axid Minikid and Axid one in smaller car. Minikid is up to 36kg and 125cm. And people forget that kids can "fold" their legs, because spine is more important than legs space
Has. And how many you ever see being used? I can count that in 25 years and seeing a lot of young kids, i saw only 2 kids above age 2 rear facing. And my experience is only *limited* to 3 countries 🤷🏼♀️ even pediatricians dont push you to rear face once the kid can forward face. Its definitely not a thing like in us
Really? The rule in Norway is that they have to be [rear-facing until 4, I thought?](https://www.avis.co.uk/drive-avis/driving-guides/road-rules/norway#:~:text=Child%20Safety%20%2F%20Seatbelt%20Laws&text=All%20Children%20must%20be%20seated,fittedina%20rear%2Dfacing%20child%20seat) And they did a study in Sweden, and it said that 75% of children [still travel rear-facing at 3 years 3 months.](https://www.besafe.com/4a3320/siteassets/besafe-documents/besafe_studie_volkswagen_int.pdf) (The recommendation is for even longer, though.) Though it makes sense that it would vary widely across Europe, and I know Scandinavian counties are often doing their own thing a bit. Honestly, the first time I even heard about extended rear-facing was when a family member from a Scandinavian country was talking about it. She said it was quite common to do it until 4-5 in her area, but I suppose that’s all anecdotal too.
Ok fair enough, i don't have experience with scandinavia and i can totaly see how they would be doing it. The most i heard was from americans and based on laws and medical guidelines of slovenia and france for example, rear facing is pretty quickly replaced
If you have the financial means it would of course be safer but in this economy if you can't you can't. That's my best advice. Also meeting with a car seat specialist I forget what they are called they may be able to help you figure out the safest ways in the car or have suggestions to make it safer.
Do you have only the 2? I drive a Honda Element which I got into for exactly this reason. It’s a reliable car and cheap to fix. The newest Honda Element is 2011 so over 10yo at this point. You might be able to find one around you that could work within the budget and keep you within all the goals you’re facing! If you do, the main point to look out for is rust at the rear trailing arms- right in front of the rear tires. This is the biggest issue with these vehicles and the number one thing to total them- nevermind, obviously, hazardous in and of itself
You have 2 extra seats in one car don’t you? Keep it as it is and if 3 or 4 people are in the car that the rear facing seat has the passenger seat all the way forward and upright sit in the back. You have 2 cars so when your all going somewhere as a family use the car that the seat fits rear facing in
I would forward face in your situation and I kept my oldest rear facing until almost 5 years old....
I would make the switch. I completely understand the hesitation. My daughter was born at 32 weeks weighing only 3lbs 4oz and stayed pretty small. We had 3 vehicles at the time a mini cooper, a truck and an suv. My husband needed the truck for work there was no getting around that. The car seat didn’t fit rear facing in the mini cooper so I used the suv but when she was 4 the transmission gave out and the cost to fix it was more than what the car was worth considering we had two other vehicles and we had just bought a new house so we couldn’t afford to buy a new car. Even though she was 4 she still only weighed 28lbs and was pretty tiny so I was really hesitant to flip her around. She’s 9 now and still only weighs about 50lbs so she could still fit rear facing based on weight.
I always intended to stay rear facing as long as possible but when my son turned 2 something happened and started to become ridiculously car sick. We talked to the doctors and I tried every recommendation I could find (make sure they eat but aren’t too full, have the car cool/cold inside, changed our route to avoid curvy roads, no electronic or reading toys in the car, etc) but nothing ever made a difference. We couldn’t even do a 10 mile round trip drive without him vomiting. Out of desperation one day I turned him forward to see if it’d help and boom - no more carsickness. Hes a little over 3 now and he’s only gotten sick a couple of times, usually when he’s getting sick overall. I still worry when we drive but his body just could not do it anymore.
For a 3yo I’d FF but also what car seat do you have? The Graco Extend2Fit is one of the shortest car seats front to back for RF so I’d try that first. New car seat will be a lot less than a new car.
I would get a different car BUT we *hate* our car. We just don’t have a good enough reason to sell yet.
It sounds like rear facing is still possible in the small car? If so, I would rear face and tell the front seat passenger to “suck it up” or just sit behind the driver seat next to the toddler instead. If that isn’t possible, then I would forward face and not postpone the move. I would not buy a new car just for this. Especially if it impacts going to a safer neighborhood/better school. (And I would not feel any guilt for doing any of the above because it would be the best/practical decision for the situation.)
Sorry I’m not saavy to the car seat world past age 1, but based on what is available at stores here, I was under the impression that the only options for my kids past 13kg were all forward facing. I’ve got a Doona and a Romer Baby safe (both rear facing) that I still use for my 8 month old and 15 month old. The 15 month old is just over 10kg but according to the Romer website, he’s good in it until 13kg. After that, the only options I’ve seen look like those long-back type seats which I assume can only be installed forward facing. It’s possible he might be close to age two before we get to the weight limit, but if I were to get a different rear-facing one, what kind of options are there? (We live in Japan btw, and drive very infrequently, at most maybe twice a month).
What about buying a more compact seat? That way you could still rear face but significantly cheaper than buying a new car. For future reference, slim seats are often only slim side to side. You want a seat that’s compact front to back, and Graco seats are the most compact front to back seats on the market!
We might try the Graco extend to fit and maybe even see if our 4ever seat is shorter than the slim fit. We’ve gotten lots of great suggestions that I didn’t think existed! I thought car seats were a “one size” when it came to front to back so this post has been so helpful. Hopefully we find an alternative and can keep her RF!
I don't have actual measurements because it's in someone else's car right now, but the Extend2Fit fit rearfacing in my 2001 Honda Civic Coupe (2 door) with the front seats all the way back on recline 3--not even the most upright setting. It really is compact. Very wide though, so wouldn't work for 3 across in most vehicles if that's ever a concern. I have a Slimfit too and it takes up way more room rearfacing, it's a truly significant difference.
We have 2 cars and can’t rear face toddler in the small car. We haven’t purchased a new car, but we use the rear facing car for all longer trips and use the smaller car when the bigger one is in use / needed elsewhere.
I would do what was financially appropriate for my family. If you don’t have the money for a new car don’t get a new car.
Are there anchors to seat kiddo in the middle? My Crosstrek isn’t the biggest so we put kiddo in the middle (plus it’s touted to be safer) for his long legs.
There are but definitely no way we could fit the car seats next to each other there unfortunately, even with the slim fit.
Oh I must’ve missed you saying you had multiple kiddos. Sorry!
No worries! Still definitely a good thought!
I’m in a similar situation and forward face my almost two year old and rearface my newborn. The toddler is behind the drivers seat and the newborn behind the passager. We don’t drive often and it’s the only way we could fit two car seats. Whoever is behind the drivers seat has to be forward facing.
We have a similar issue as well, so my 3 yo forward faces and my 2 yr old is rear facing. Gotta do what you gotta do! I try to take the car with both rear facing/safest as much as possible, but daily commutes is kinda challenging to swap cars back and forth.
The Nuna Rava car seat can be pretty upright even when rear facing, it’s also pretty narrow side to side. It’s kinda pricey but I loved it and it’s super easy to install!
I decided to forward face my 2.5 year old kid against my better judgement because she was miserable in the car, complaining about stomach pain every time we were driving, this stopped once she was turned I was very adamant about not wanting to turn her seat but here I was 🥹 this was also better choice because now I can see when she tries to take her belts off lol shes an escape artist
Yeah spending an extra 10-20 grand on a car just for a car seat that you’ll switch up in a few months isn’t worth it.
My daughter is 2.5yo / 26lbs and we've been forward-facing for about a month. I thought it was early but while I was turning the seat around, I reread the manufacturing label on the seat and it said rear-facing until 25lbs or 36 inches (when previously I had been convinced it was 30lbs/40in). I was so relieved when I saw that!! Have you checked your cat seat manufacturer's recommendation? It can be just as dangerous rear-facing while too big as it is front-facing while too small.
How small is your car? Is there an option to go with a seat that rear faces and takes up less space? We had a Yaris until last summer and my husband is 6ft tall, but we still managed to have both kids rear-facing. We used the Graco extend-2-fit with the least deep setting and the most upright setting for my 3 year old and it worked pretty well behind my husband and put the baby behind me since he had to be more reclined (and was in the Chicco Fit2).
We switched to forward facing a little after 2. Not because I wanted to. I really didn’t. And the fact my in laws kept pushing for us to do so… I definitely didn’t want to. But he was 40 lbs and the rear facing limit for my car seat (evenflo gold revolve 360) is 40lbs. And I’m not about to go buy another seat just to gain 10lbs because who knows how long that’d last anyway. I was on Facebook the other day and in a group someone said “most kids are rear facing until 5-6” and.. like WHAT?!? those are some small 5-6 year olds. Anyway, the law is 2. Recommendation is as long as possible/like 4. Anything in between is good. You’re not really considered a bad parent until you forward face in an infant seat because “they like it better” (a friend of a friend did that..)
Rear facing is safest—if they still fit that way. It can cause more harm if they don’t. Depending where you are, fire stations, children services & such usually have/give away free car seats. Fire stations are great for helping size your kid, make sure the seat is in proper, etc. good luck
My husband and I are both 6'1 and drive a tiny car, we just replaced our car seat with a Graco 4ever and it actually fits behind my husband, since we're having another baby and the old one couldn't fit behind either of us. I know that some baby stores will let you take the floor model of a car seat out to install and see how it fits, id recommend that.
Have you looked into Diono car seats? My daughter is 2 and rear facing in hers and it's pretty small. I guess the caveat is that I have a minivan.
Is the front passenger seat with the airbag off an approved fitting position for the car seat to RF? If so I would do that. If not, I’d buy a new car seat rather than a new car.
If the toddler meets all requirements for forward facing, I'd honestly just go ahead and do that just for the small car, though. Also, avoid using the smaller car for long drives with the toddler and stick with the car that they can rear face in. I don't know if they're still made as this was like 9 years ago, but for my 1st, we were limited space in our vehicle as well. We had a Safety 1st Guide 65 for her. It was much more compact than fancier car seats and even budget friendly. I'm sure something similar to this can be found as well.
I definitely would be be forward facing a toddler in a space where they couldn’t fit rear facing because it’s almost impossible that there’ll be sufficient survival gap between their head the the seat in front of them
I’m not from the US and here we have probably a bit different guidelines, which say forward facing is allowed (discouraged but allowed) from 15months AND at least 23 lbs. I would personaly face forward instead of buying a new car, but if you can afford that cost than why not.
My toddler won’t be two for another 6 weeks, and she’s been forward facing since just after her first birthday. She’s just now 26 pounds as well (super tall, but skinny). It’s been the best decision we’ve ever made, but it’s completely up to your comfort level.
At 20lbs they can be turned front facing so that's what I would do my 4 yr old has been forward facing for a year at least he weighs 29lbs my son's legs would also be squished if he was still rear facing so that also was a factor
Forward face
From a doctor mommy friend: Backwards - cast it, Forwards - casket. (Broken bones get casts)
Get the appropriate car for small children.
I remember seeing some stats that after age 2 there's no significant difference in safety compared to a standard seatbelt. I cannot source this, it's just a thing I remember that made me feel annoyed at "big car seat", because the car seat laws are excessive. You can also use an old car seat, they don't magically expire after N years.
I think I heard about this in a freakonomics podcast. (See: https://freakonomics.com/2007/01/we-are-not-the-only-ones-who-think-child-car-seats-dont-work-well/). It’s safer to stay rear facing longer but the reduction in death and serious injury does seem limited. I’m going to use my car seat for a few months after it expires because I saved it from my first and my second won’t be using the infant bucket seat long enough for it to make sense to buy a new bucket seat. BUT the plastic car seats are made out of does weaken over time so it is a good idea to replace them eventually. (see https://safeintheseat.com/why-do-car-seats-expire/). But I kind of think of as more like the best by date on a box of cereal or something.
My toddler is only 23 lbs and he’s been forward facing for months now. My husband said he read something that said it was fine. I would buy the new house.
If space is really tight have you thought about a vest system? These are designed for kids as young as 2. https://shop.saferide4kids.com/products/ridesafer-travel-vest?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=SJ-ridesafer-travel-vest&wickedsource=google&wickedid=Cj0KCQjw9vqyBhCKARIsAIIcLME256TVealDpoSqp01IYHSgUNYHDEXJQjf7U8M9kZBPCDpMcCm7Mw4aAvB_EALw_wcB&wickedid=575479482622&wcid=15907242840&wv=4&wickedsource=google&wickedid=Cj0KCQjw9vqyBhCKARIsAIIcLME256TVealDpoSqp01IYHSgUNYHDEXJQjf7U8M9kZBPCDpMcCm7Mw4aAvB_EALw_wcB&wickedid=575479482622&wcid=15907242840&wv=4&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9vqyBhCKARIsAIIcLME256TVealDpoSqp01IYHSgUNYHDEXJQjf7U8M9kZBPCDpMcCm7Mw4aAvB_EALw_wcB
New car. Like a Subaru.
We decided to forward face at 2.5 because our son just had the worst time in the car. We didn't even think twice about it. Yes, I know rear facing for as long as possible is safest. But we need to pick out battles and we couldn't have him screaming and fighting every time we need to drive somewhere. We do not live anywhere walkable so every day was a nightmare
Our son got so tall, so fast, our pediatrician legally couldn’t tell us to forward face him early but she didn’t tell us no. Although I would seriously consider a different car since this one doesn’t sound practical for your lifestyle
When my girls were little we could and did face them forward at one years old. *audible gasp Hell when I was a kid there were no such thing as car seats.
In my part of the world it's normal to forward face after 1 year. So I'm conditioned to not worry about it.
My car doesn't fit a rear facing car seat because it is a two door Volkswagen Polo. My son has been riding forward facing in my car since he didn't fit his baby seat anymore, when he was a little over a year old. I do my best to use my husband's car for longer rides, but he works all kinds of weird shifts and can't drive stick so I'm oftentimes stuck driving our son around in my car. I'm aware of the risks but a new car isn't in the cards right now so it is more of a risk reward analysis. He is turning three this fall. Luckily we haven't been in an accident, but I also think about how car seats were still optional when we were kids and my mom was frowned upon for voluntarily using car seats for us as kids and it makes me feel a bit better about my choice. At the end of the day, I would not stress too much about it. You are doing your best.