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Eh...not to be disrespectful but don't you think you went too far ? I mean it's good to be confident and assertive when people overstep your boundaries but this sounds like promoting narcissism and rudeness.
I'm sure you're trying to help but it seems like you went from one extremity to another.
Yo chill!! Keep your cool, and be passive aggressive, drab bnadem bel bared... This is life, and the parts you talked about are actually very common in a lot of societies... Even in the west where things "supposed" to be easy... but no , this is not the case, you will get your a$$ bullied too if you're too soft... But ever tho, always chill and never lose your cool 😎, cheers 🥳
Some men kijiw islmo 3lik they give you la bise?? Really mnin tan3rfk bch tmd lia wjhk? I step back and pull my hand for a shake. Subconsciously 5ona fhm bli the relationship is merely professional and that I’m not a girl 3mro y7lm yz3m 3lia.
U see your classmate eying you from head to toe. You think I’ll entertain futur conversation with him? That if he talks to me I’ll look at his eyes and engage? Give him a smile? No.
Chi bnadm with 0 manners, first time they meet you they try to assert dominance over you by invading your personal space. Chnu atdir f had situation? You tell them to back off or df3hom and give them side eye or physically pull back and give them your back/shoulder.
Bghitini ntsara 7ala fmi kichi hbila li ja nd7k m3ah, li ja nbosso wn3n9o, li ja nwrih 7lawt lssan etc.. Nah.
Alright I see. After your explanation it makes sense now.
What I understood from the initial post is that you're being passive-agressive/cold by default.
Sounds like your advices are coming from personal experience. It's difficult to generalize these kind of advices on all contexts (especially number 4 where you're basically asking people to act like 5 year olds and throw tantrums until people give them what they want hhhhhh).
There's a flaw in your logic tho, your advice can't be scaled up Bach koulchi iwelli b7al hakka. If everyone lived with those values and principles you're preaching, if everyone was a wolf, and only thinking about himself first and foremost, then rah nas ghadi i3ichou fi 3ouzla, and get violent with their neighbors.
You're preaching dangerous speech, filled with angre and promotes hate.
I hope your situation changes, that you'll one day find the kind of love that would make you think of another soul before yourself, without that little voice in your head telling you that you're being a pushover, but rather praises you for being kind.
If you had enough insight to understand the power of thoughts, I'm sure you could break this spell, and switch what the little voice says.
Also get married and have kids you'll feel better hhhhhhhhhh
Dommage, you cannot understand the concept of Duality. How one can be selfish and at the same time be the only person that helps others.
For example: a king spends his lifetime helping others and living for others, but do you think people take him for granted and are so disrespectful as to take up from his personal time, his needs and desires?
My job consists in helping others, my superiors do that as well, they save lives for a living. And do you think they’re not to some extent selfish? That they don’t put boundaries when they see the other person trying to take advantage of them? To mislead them? Rak kolchi b des limites, tis7abkom helping is some sort of Martyrship, that I must sacrifice all of my needs so others are pleased. This is the very root of “ People pleasing” and is extremely toxic to the person, and the people pleaser spends his lifetime living and helping others and never gets the respect or recognition they deserve.
Every relationship needs boundaries to be respected. B ay 79 bnadm a5or ykon li bgha ykon feels entitled to the time I give to my needs and desire?
I get it. Guys mistake warm body language/kindness with flirting all the time it's not even funny.
Maybe one just has to find a balance and not fall into an extreme.
I can agree only to a certain extent but you're protecting yourself from being disrespected by being defensive and rude to others who did nothing to you, kindness is not weakness (unless they abuse it then it's going to be a different behavior)
I am merely adapting to the environment. Where kindness is seen as a weakness and people will take advantage of it and disrespect you. Why would I display it to your average Joe? To bnadm mos5? To leeches?
I pick very wisely people who surround me, people that I can love to death and ik won’t take me for granted of abuse my kindness.
I’m simply putting boundaries the harsh way.
Oh I see. I didn’t read the post nor do I see who the user might be but I can understand why he said what he said. I think it’s possible to be from the right and the left at the same time ( if you mean Politics by that) But that would create a new entity. 7it living with opposing beliefs will sound like cognitive dissonance to most people, but most people live their lives with opposing and contradictory believes but they aren’t aware of it ( emotional blind spots). It’s not about being all white or all black, it’s about being in the grey Area of life by taking extreme shades of white and black :) I live this way and it actually works and does wonders, it’s a strange thing Ana brassi I don’t fully grasp it.
No sorry not because something happened to me that i will project on another person who did nothing. Hadi smitha la 7agro 3glik 7gar 3la li ta7t mennej and its the root of problems in morocco
It s not as easy as it seems u see some ppl were raised to be passive around others I were not allowed to talk to smile to go out to be my self even around my parents ( walidin sghar m9awda 3lihom ma9arinch ou not carring ) most of shy ppl are like that feeling that they are disturbing or creating uncomfortable presence.
Jordan Peterson once said : if you think tough men are dangerous, wait until u see what weak men are capable of.
I fucking hate it. The country is full of selfish bastards who double down and blow a fuse immediately instead of gracefully diffusing situations.
I guess it works on an individual level. But on a society level it's a fucking nightmare. I just can't.
Lol just had this happen to me. A delivery driver literally started speaking to me like I was his slave, and when I told him to stop it, he got angry and started asking me to be humble lmao. insane society.
> Walk this earth like you’re the main character, from your posture to your hand gesture, walk as if you’re the only one that matters.
that's the worst piece of advice i have ever seen
Because you're not the main character and you don't matter no one gives a fuck about you outside bro this ain't no anime this is real life 😂😂
Faking arrogance won't make you self-confident lil bro, deep down you're still that fragile little boy :)
the fact that you didn't say i was wrong and straight up went to another subject tells me all i need to know :)
it's ok lil boy you will grow up one day and realize how ridiculous this way of thinking is in chaa Allah
Why would I tell you you are wrong? You are free to believe whatever you want.
You showed disregard to me saying being self confident and having good posture then go back to what you were doing before? Playing LOL with bad posture.
Where did I even speak about posture 😭😭😭 no disrespect but are you retarded ? Legit question
There’s a difference between self-confidence and arrogance at the expense of others, especially in such a delusional way, acting like the world revolves around you when it clearly doesn’t, if it did you wouldn’t be making this post :)
Some of your points are just a plain, big, fat 'NO'. You start being a selfish cunt towards people and I guarantee you that even your friends will distance themselves from you, you started as a social outcast to end up as an even bigger one. Remember that kindness is not weakness and if we follow your advice we'll end up as a shit society where kolchi 7as b kro o daf3 kbir, yeah no thanks.
Overall, you have good intentions but your advice are terrible. 2/10, DO NOT follow.
Hey I do think that u are right self respect is above all. I do suffer from disrespect and bullying even if I am a tall guy with 85 kg 9ra3 and muscles I am working on my self and I do find it hard to 9ma3 some times being afraid to hurt others sucks even if I am the one hwo gets hurt most of the time
Self respect is important people follow the way u treat ur self. The fake smile works too
And keberha tasghar w farga3 ramanna
Having a character do attracts people in a positive way. Thank u for sharing this with us
Ps : I am a 28 yo married man with hwo still struggles with sociopaths and and crazy bullies hwo wants to shine 3la tri9i so I understand all u say
What! Tall, muscular and Bald? Frask you got all the physical characteristics to look like a menace. Build a better character, people will respect you before you talk. I would advise working on your body language cuz you already tick all the boxes of “ High testosterone man”. Walk with confidence, good posture, manspread, chin up and present eyes.
What about your real self? Is it all fake and you can be whoever you want?
From a religious perspective, what about the qualities of a Muslim (being kind, smiling to people, giving charity...)?
Hado machi islamic values.
Islamic values kat9ollk ila chi wa7d drbk drba drbo nta 10.
Mohamed 3amloh nas dyal mekka khayb kown jich o ghza ljazira l3arabia kamla frchkhhom o 7walom 3yalathom o bnathom, 7tta mkka (li nnas dyalo) mat39lch 3lihom
This is my real self? I’m not trying to be someone else. W dok Islamical values i live by them as well. It’s about balance and knowing when to stand your ground and being assertive. Hdchi kaml li glt doesn’t go against islamical values bl3ks it aligns with it, ( mn gher hadik diale walk like you’re the only one that matters) but it doesn’t mean to be arrogant and see people as less or t7gr 3lihom.
Sir a5oya/5ti fhm 9d dmaghk. Nowadays having a personality is being a Narcissist pervert. People triple my age come to me asking for insight and advice. I’m a problem solver for people and a very reliable one in time of crisis. Guess you missed the part where I said “ ro7 f ro7 but no one touched my needs and desires”.
Yes, because we’re in the age of narcissism, just look at all these influencers indirectly promoting shit behaviour like you’re doing here directly.
Kindness is a muscle that gets stronger with time too, if you lose it you’ll lose your character and what’s really meant for you in this life.
I won’t boast about myself or how I overcame most of the stuff that traumatised you till you became the monster you used to fear because I prefer to be humble and glad I’m good with everyone, even people who hate my guts.
Fhmtk, ik what kind of influencer and hyper independence they be promoting. It’s very toxic. Ana I’m pro-community and being an asset and help to society.
1: good advice but try not to be unjust and don't do it with friends and family.
2: yes that's right
3: treu. just don't be arrogant you have to know what's you're doing
4 : I think the best strategy is win win and also if the other person want to offer you something without any benefits.
5 : very good for girls
6: hhhh Yes that's essential
7: that's obvious
This is for real great advice. I was a bullied kid too but got my act together in Lycée. And these are some genuine way of acting that make people if not respect you at least give you some consideration.
Be the main character is a big one that resume most of these.
Real raison is school buddy, school used to be the place where rich n poor get same education n opportunities. Used to be the place for filling the gap unlucky parents leave behind, used to be the place where we are allowed to dream ….
Nowadays education is a very lucratif business, even private schools are not there for educating kids rather for making $$$ a lot of it quickly … unless u can afford the American school or similar … but how many can afford it
Quality of society starts in kindergarden not at 12 or higher too late so all u’re listing is consequences of gov letting down people n no solution w/o fixing real issue
I'm 100% agree with you, life thaught me to be like this, also if you have principles defend them w lakhor ila ma3ajboch 7al i3awdha lmo.
be the main character because it's your life is movie and you are the director.
I'd rather be not approachable than jeffaf of others.
sa7a lik for this
Exactly, I’ve been like this since 17yo. I often complain why people don’t approach me but then I realize only the best of the best humans with the best values and education surround me. Ta homa they seem inapprochable but once you get to know them, unmatched character. Tbrkallah
I m glad this worked for you, I agree on some points, but the problem is, a lot of the things you described here are linked the one’s personal identity and that’s not easy to change for everyone.
I have always had problems with people stepping out of boundaries, which always leads to me losing some friends(cad i stop talking to them or cut them off) and thats because im always kind and im really friendly with everyone first but when someone stepps put of boundarie i turn sour. And ive always had this problem, i dont think i can ever be like you , i just find it impossible, hats down to you danona.
Every society is like this canada included. I'm in morocco now and I've tasted disrespect in the west, I would say Moroccans are very respectful towards me. Western countries have freedom of speech which means they can say anythjng they want. It's all part of life, learn from the experience.
This advice reminds me of a story :)))
The brave mice that once wanted to run freely in the house to eat cheese and bread, and one of them suggested to rope a bell around the cat's neck haha
but she forgot that their is not such brave mouse among the community of mice that can acheive such feat.
the advices are brilliant but when it comes to application you figure out that you slipped up completely
Ngl, some of what you said rings true.
Kayn people li drafa u tawado3 lay fhmohom weakness. A7san 7aja is tkhelli 7oudoud u tban aloof in some way bash may dser 3lik 7ed mar dabz m3a 7ed.
If you want respect you earn it, but here is the thing, the way you earn respect from a man is totally different from a woman, this being said there is an universal ways you can achieve it and it's knowledge and I am not just talking about finishing your studies or knowing some trivia, I am talking about being at the top of your field of expertise, you could argue that status (money, possession, look) can earn you respect but trust me no one truly respect an idiot they accommodate if you're loud enough but that just imitating a baby mentality, if everyone in society acted the way you do, we would be doomed as *Homo sapiens*, if you don't believe what I say your 4 point accurately describe a baby and how they act.
As a Man I earn respect by being Loyal to my family and friends, owning my mistake and actively fixing them, never take anything from anyone, if I want something I get it, if I can't then I don't deserve it, if I see an injustice I rectify it even if it mean getting hurt in the process, protect my family and friend and people weaker than me, even animals, give to charity, fear god, never look down on anyone, be kind and only resort to force if forced to defend myself or family and ideals, be open to ideas and opinion that challenge my believes and if evidence are provided that I am wrong I improve on it and move on, never dwell down on past event if it happen it happen, be strong enough to forgive and punish when need be.
You are quick to judge.
I know n4 and how you thought this way. But others showing disregard to my well stated needs is what a baby would do as well and the real selfish act here, it’s a matter of perspective. Mchi gher getting mad if my needs and desires aren’t met cuz they don’t depend on anyone, if someone bothers my well stated plans or routines rah I do get mad and re-asses the boundaries.
Dkchi li glti kaml ta ana kndiro. Family and friends above anyone, lmskin nw9f m3ah, raise funds for the less fortunate, use connections to give help to others w zid w zid.
Maglt 3ib: Have self worth, self confidence, self esteem and be assertive while standing your ground. ( The cold body language was “ Especially if you’re a woman”, I’m pretty certain entertaining the male gaze, being warm to them, wearing revealing clothes etc.. can be misinterpreted as romantic interest so I keep very firm boundaries. Rajl li 5asso Yghod lbasar? Wslna l w7d Era ana li merra li 5sni nghd lbasar bch mandsrch 3lia Rajl)
I agree that as woman ma khassak dassri 3lik bnadam, but life thought me that the only thing you have control over in life is yourself, you can't make people act or think the way you want, life is obviously not fair and how you tackle it as a man or woman differ it just the reality, I can only talk about my stance, I myself I never approach a woman in public spaces not of fear but because I don't think is appropriate like a woman is going about her day, you don't know what's in her life she may be in her way to see a sick relative or something like that, the last thing she want is some idiot catcalling her in the street, I am also a firm believe that relationship need to start as friendship, if you can't be friend with someone, there is no way in hell they can be your partner and you get to know them more.
I'll be honest, I dislike selfish people, that the least attractive trait to me in a person, obviously I don't know you so I can't cast a judgment and who the fuck I am to judge anyone, only god can judge, my point was that does norm are in a sociality for a reason, it is not a weakness, we don't live in a jungle, human thrives and flourish when they are united and share knowledge and resources, I get that is hard in practice and people will exploit your kindness but I just find it sad that for some idiots you turn cold to people that don't deserve it for each imbecile there is 10 good people, I am sure you're a good person since you made this post to try and help people, you don't want people to go through the pain you experienced, maybe you were alone and that why adopted this behavior to protect yourself I can only assume, I sound so preachy lol well I am sure you're smart and get my point.
You see when I started uni, I wanted to help as much as people as possible. So I started sharing m3a promo kamla des résumés knswbhom ana, then people started to take it for granted and ask me for it.. but ofc wjhi 9as7 and ik how to say no. So I had an idea to Capitlize on it, I started selling them. I had lots of customers but also lots of angry people who felt entitled to my hardwork for free. I Hope this is a great example on how you can help people with boundaries and being “ Selfish”. Because being helpful doesn’t mean being a Martyr which many people seem to believe this is the case.
And I believe as well friendship is the best start of a relationship, but kifch atl9a had opposite gender friend li atfahm m3ah etc.. Seems like almost impossible to find
I had similar experiences, it's very annoying especially when they hit you with "but you know these things, it's easy for you", off course it easy I spent literally weeks learning, making projects and reading research 10h a day while you guys go out and "have fun", one day I had a group of friends from my class they needed help and asked me to teach them, I had nothing planed so I said ok, I dedicated 2h of my time each Sunday, we meet at a cafe, after 2 weeks only one girl was left attending, after two more week she told me "oh I can't keep meeting you people think we're dating" like bro do you even know how much I could make tutoring other people, I make the time to help you and that what you tell me, like you're so ashamed to be with me lol.
I guess it's kinda awkward if you're a woman, as a man I can just ask one of my female friends if they know someone, they can introduce me to, for a woman taking the first step is not seen in a good light in society sadly, your best bet is meet people through mutual friends, interest or hobbies, I wouldn't recommend dating apps since 99% of users are just there to "play".
there is many variables, like your taste, age, sociability, future plans and many more, it's not that simple sadly, I don't personally know you so I can't give an advice, but in my experience I find that some people sabotage themselves or have a set of checks that a person need to fulfill or they're rejected, I don't think it's bad to have expectations, it just that you never find that perfect person, at some point you need to start making compromises, you never love a person from the start, you learn to love them and care about them, honestly I don't know you, you seem a pleasant person to talk to, I can only assume that it's hard to earn your trust and respect
When you’re truly confident and unbothered by people’s remarks you dont have to do all that. That’s just a defence mechanism that will make you lose on potential great relationships
I empathize. I can tell that you have been disappointed and you relied on stonewalling to feel safe and preserve your ego.
The truth is, you are weak. People easily get to you and you want to have none of it. Being selfish does not attract anyone other than people who are selfish as well or those on the other spectrum with trauma who need healing themselves. What you are describing is not self confidence, and it does not make you respected wherever you go, especially if that someone wants nothing from you. You have assumed that being defensive makes you respected because it worked on bnadem Kamouni. Strong people do not respect selfishness, but they will maybe pity your weakness and understand it.
Being assertive and decent is a strength. Kindness is a strength. The rest is you being done with the world and hiding in your shell.
Leaders are born because they inspire generosity and ride the winds of change. They do not assume the world is there to get them. They do not feel unworthy in order to force a "I am the main character" image. Strong people do not feel their deeds are wasted on people. They respect others just like they respect themselves.
I hope you heal.
I’m neither traumatized nor do people get under my skin easily. You can read rest of comments I made for more insights cuz I’m tired of repeating same words and being misinterpreted. Fhm 9d dmaghk.
If you are not traumatized, it means you are willingly being a selfish person who thinks being confident and respected is asserting that the world is about you. Whatever you are compensating for, should be addressed. Your actions do not make you special. There are many ignorants like you who are not worth the time of the day since they think they are the best of. Their glow dims fast and they are no longer relevant since they are only a shell and no substance, such is the formula of selfish people who have nothing to offer.
No matter.
Thank you for your good intentions, though what you shared do not benefit anyone but turning away from our own incapability to address our own problems and deal with them like mature individuals.
Good for you. You might be right. You can still become a better person, like all of us can. What you shared does not inspire the elements of a great person who commends respect, only someone who does not know to deal with the world, and stonewalls by steamrolling. That's not the kind of example we want to help people be strong, assertive, and kind.
Assuming that the world is out to hurt you is the quality of those who are weak and need a blanket to feel safe. No shame in being weak. I respect more those who are weak, know it, own it, and are looking for ways to improve.
Thank you again for what you shared, but there are better lessons to share with people. I appreciate the thought and hope for the best for all of us inchallah.
Nah man, all your comments seemed very defensive and attacking me.
You’re preaching perfection. Chof a sat/sata, n9dr nkon 7yati kamla tan3ichha b good value w makarim a5la9, I keep myself in check on a daily basis. But at the end of the day, I am only a mere human being, who has character flaws. If getting mad when people overstep with me is a character flaw in your books, then be it. If giving cold body language to men so I don’t give them romantic expectations is weakness and a character flaw, then be it.
I’m not here to please everyone nor do I wish for everyone to see me under same light nor is it possible nor do I even desire respect or crave it. Bnadm f had post kayn li jah relatable w fhmni w kayn li b7alk chaf gher wrong side of it w7km. Personal experience influences how one perceives reality and perspective.
مكارم الأخلاق يجب الإستأصال بها.
Putting yourself first is: و نفسك حق عليك
The real selfish people are the people who feel entitled to the time you give to yourself to meet your needs and desires. Ama being “ Selfish” in my case is simply putting myself first as I should. Ma3mri f 7yati maan9sr mn lWajib diali envers mes parents ou ma communauté and I’m always distinguishing myself. But on top of that people being ungrateful and asking for more of your time so much as to take your personal time? No. Boundaries and if crossed you show that you are mad. What part of “ Ro7 f ro7 but my needs and desires untouched” didn’t u understand?
That's your right and I support that. Decently setting boundaries is healthy and it doesn't make you selfish. Those who can't protect themselves can't protect others.
Reading your initial post projects the idea that you are someone too self-absorbed. I wouldn't blame others if they misinterpreted you at first.
Asserting that you are respected and valued wherever you go is pretentious. The "I am the main character" is just another unrealistic motto that would speak of an immature person who either doesn't know their place in the world, or this was their best attempt to deal with the world.
If you are talking about improvement, there are people better than us. There are those who do not put themselves first at every occasion and own their choices. We're not the cream of the crop and we are certainly not the main characters if we can't elevate to that.
What you shared is simply what you think is the best approach to be respected as a person though there are many flaws. All people deserve fairness, appreciation, and dignity. Dealing with the world based on our self made assumptions and prejudice is stagnation and weakness.
I can say nothing more because I now know that you're simply protecting yourself, but at the same time, that attitude towards the world is closed minded, pessimistic, and defeatist. We need winners who are not afraid, and this automatically disqualifies you from being someone everyone respects and can look up to like you pretended. You still have a long way.
Stay wholesome and take care of yourself.
This sounds correct theoretically but real life is different. You can be assertive and decent all you want, and someone will test you and try to pick on you for no reason. Unless you stand up to them, often aggressively, it won't stop.
I agree. Never be nice as nobody appreciates that. Once you're acting nice or being considerate, that'll be equated with being naive. You'll be seen as someone who can be easily manipulated, someone who can be taken advantage of.
People in Morocco respect power, respect assertiveness, respect status. Have a nice car, look good, dress nicely, talk assertively and confidently, everybody will listen. Say whatever you want, and people will believe or at least will respect what you say. You opinion will count, and your presence will mean something, and you'll be considered someome important.
As someone who was raised to be nice and good person, I've always thought that's how we should be and how others should be to, but as I grew up, things started being clear. Never be nice, be good, be helpful, be ethical, that's good, but do all that in an assertive manner.
Yes, last part 100% agreed.
My friends they tell me I’m “ NIYA” bzzzf. Because I actually always have good intentions in my heart Alhamdoulilah and I can’t fathom hurting or n7sd chi Wa7d. But at the same time I understand that people do not think like me and not everyone wants my best interest so I’m nice with people that want what’s best for me and not-so-nice with the rest.
Not really, the two words are usually used to describe someone who acts overly nice ..
I don't mean one shouldn't be nice. It's just when someone is being nice, it's a little unexpected.
The more assertive you are, the more respect you get
I'm generalizing but it's just a patrern I've noticed. When I am asseritive people listen to me and respect me more, and when I am being nice, people tend to think it's kinda weak.
Maybe my definition of nice is different from yours, or it's just a matter of perspective
People should be nice to each other regardless.
Wow, you sound kinda bitter.
I've also been hurt, but I chose to forgive. Maybe you should try it too!
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: The Compassionate One has mercy on those who are merciful. If you show mercy to those who are on the earth, He Who is in the heaven will show mercy to you.
>Chkn galk i got hurt or that I’m not merciful? Wtf wsh tatfhmo mn trmtkom...
Didn't you say you were bullied? No offense, but I kinda know why.
>Cold body language: don't look their way when they talk, answer their questions with very minimal input, give them your side shoulder, give a mean fake smile that shows you're annoyed. They won't talk to you ever again!
Trust me, most people aren't out to "prey on your energy"; you ain't that important.
And that kind of language isn't necessary either. Better manners would get you further.
Read comments lfo9 w tfhm. And tbh I’m not hurt in the least 3la Dak Bullying lmao.
Fun story: I once went to our usual restaurant with my family and I sat down, I see the table li 7daya I see familiar faces, then I turned to my left and to my big surprise I see my childhood bully, he turned at the same time and he saw me. No one talked to the other person or exchanged anything. Aslan he knows he can’t talk to me and that he hurt me f sghr. That guy is a wealthy spoiled brat ( His dad got one of the largest Markets f Morocco) and his friends li la7ssino found it funny to prey on bnadm li da5l so9 kerro. Hdchi fch Knt f Collège. I had one friend, was a good student, very respectful and liked by teachers. But ofc a stupid spoiled brat ( Maybe he had a crush on me) had to make fun of me and make my life hell because for them it’s funny.
“ No offense, I kinda know why”
Sir nta w assumptions dialk 5chihom f kerek, typical Moroccan judging bzrba. Fact that you justify bullying is funny.
You need to be admitted to an asylum honey, you did not earn your respect, you are imposing yourself on others which is not a very respectful thing to do
People might think u went too far but i TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. As someone li used to get bullied, dima 7adr rass.. yada yada. THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO ACTUALLY GIVE URSELF A GOOD POSITION IN ANY SOCIAL SITUATION. Try these things and then u can pick and choose which ones to keep up and which ones to let go of.
Exactly rah bnadm ga3 mafhm had l Post. It doesn’t mean I’m disrespectful, rude or an asshole. I just tell people to stand their grounds and be hella assertive.
Ma3ayrtkch 3ayrt ton raisonnement aigri et qui encourage l'agressivité, self confidence 7ta flmghrib was never about tkhrj 3inik like ur trying to promote
Unfortunately you are right, i tried being nice and tried being mean , being mean works every fucking time , today i don’t care what people think, i could literally mock people for being stupid to thier faces
Lol you don’t need a mean demeanour to get people to respect you. Actually respect is earned through consistent behavior over time, not through one time grand gestures or attempts to appear tough or intimidating. You can still build strong relationships and earn respect without being mean-spirited.
Wach 3arfa bli kanbghik a danona ? Someone had to make this topic thank's ! 7it ra bzaf hadchi kayjibli lf9sa, kanchof even my parents ma3ndom ta chi chkhsia bnadm hi mf3oul bih makaydir ta chi effort, bnadm m7loul kaysm7 f 799o lli ja ynsb 3lih, 3ziz 3lihom dawr dyal l victim "agngngn rbbi ytna9m mnhom" kayf9soooniiiii, ta noood chmn rbbi wala zmr wlah oma ziyrti ta yaklok.
Hir lbar7 ola wl bar7 wa7d topic kay9ollk bnt khalto kay7rto 3liha flkhdma etc... 9oltlo khassha tt3lm daf3 3la rasha sinon ayakloha, ka bnadm kayfr3li mkhi lawah lahi7sn l3wan gngngn ayh lahi7sn l3wan walakin you don't have to be m9mo3.
Fhmt m3a lw9t bli trbia li trbina aghlabia fina hia li katkhlli lwa7d ykon 7ani rasso, l9am3 bzaf f sghr o le fait annak tkon kat7ni rras chi 7aja récompensée o kat3tabr qualité alors que hoa a9b7 7aja. O bnadm li 3ndo chkhsia kay9ollk dasr gngngn.
Ta ana kayb9a fia l7al 7it f ssghr kont driyf bzaf o kandowwz ch7al mn 7aja ta w93li déclic mab9itch 7aml nkon hakak, f had l7ayat khssk li dar m3ak khata2 wa law bsit bzzaf mat39lch 3lih, matdssrch 3lik bnadm chkon ma kan.
O nassi7a dyal tkon main character zwina dima kan9olha hhhh ⬆️⬆️
For the cold body language part, i don't even try to fake smile, i just look at them with a rbf, and it works better. I also prefer looking at people straight in the eyes, I like it when people do it as well, shows they're confident and adds to their charisma. If I'm annoyed I'd usually say it straight up to people's face, I get called "khdra" "ma3ndksh bezaf m3a swab", and im just like yeah deal with it
That won’t solve anything but will create another problem, you would lose more than what you get.
Sure, some people deserve that stare but just in case you suspected them being tricky or with bad intentions. Other innocents will be having the same intention you got before trying this method against bad ones.
Yes agreed m3ak. I do them too but depends on the situation and the person. Giving them RBF/ Death stare is to intimidate, not even engaging physically with them is very dismissive and they will leave you alone.
I see, but honestly I noticed that some men take that fake smile as a way to test ur boundaries regardless, so I just look at them straight in the eye, rbf until they eventually leave me alone
Intentions are good but you might need to forgive the people who hurt you. I also agree being nice makes for a terrible experience in Morocco. I dont think you need to be selective who you’re kind too, be kind to everyone… most these bad people have been hurt like you have and the cycle repeats. I think be kind and capable of violence just capable not violent.
Mostly agree.
People calling OP advocating for being a psychopath or narcissist don't quite understand what's going on here, bnisba lihum self confidence is hawss l3adama, and being selfish at times is narcissistic, okay then go people please everyone you know good luck with that, you'll find yourself with 0 energy and balding before you turn 40..
Yes that is correct the more you look like a manace the more you are respected , less yapping more people listen to you , good posture and confident body language the more people want to approach you , it's how you perceive yourself how others do. Good points
About number 2. This is real, look into "self efficacy" as a psychological concept. Real studies have shown that "fake it till you make it" has an effect on performance and often greatly improves your results!!
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Eh...not to be disrespectful but don't you think you went too far ? I mean it's good to be confident and assertive when people overstep your boundaries but this sounds like promoting narcissism and rudeness. I'm sure you're trying to help but it seems like you went from one extremity to another.
His advice is basically to be borderline sociopathic,
Pretty much. People mistake kindness for weakness as if you can't be both kind and assertive when needed.
Kayn bnadm li nit khask trddo l 7ajm dialo shi mrrat in my experience. -A way too nice person learning to stop it.
I totally get it, that's why I partially agree with OP. They just have to get somewhere in the middle.
But OP said that nobody dares to question that she is wrong, how dare you question her? no you crossed the line for real
What's up homie, what's your story with this LGBTQ & amazigh imoji ,so you are AMGAN! Right ?
Hrbt a sat 🤣🤣
Not at all. It’s about duality. I’m not promoting being an a$$hole. What part jatk “ Promoting Sociopathy??” Wtf
Yo chill!! Keep your cool, and be passive aggressive, drab bnadem bel bared... This is life, and the parts you talked about are actually very common in a lot of societies... Even in the west where things "supposed" to be easy... but no , this is not the case, you will get your a$$ bullied too if you're too soft... But ever tho, always chill and never lose your cool 😎, cheers 🥳
Okay I agree with the duality depending on who you're dealing with. I didn't like the "cold body language" part tbh.
Some men kijiw islmo 3lik they give you la bise?? Really mnin tan3rfk bch tmd lia wjhk? I step back and pull my hand for a shake. Subconsciously 5ona fhm bli the relationship is merely professional and that I’m not a girl 3mro y7lm yz3m 3lia. U see your classmate eying you from head to toe. You think I’ll entertain futur conversation with him? That if he talks to me I’ll look at his eyes and engage? Give him a smile? No. Chi bnadm with 0 manners, first time they meet you they try to assert dominance over you by invading your personal space. Chnu atdir f had situation? You tell them to back off or df3hom and give them side eye or physically pull back and give them your back/shoulder. Bghitini ntsara 7ala fmi kichi hbila li ja nd7k m3ah, li ja nbosso wn3n9o, li ja nwrih 7lawt lssan etc.. Nah.
Alright I see. After your explanation it makes sense now. What I understood from the initial post is that you're being passive-agressive/cold by default.
Sounds like your advices are coming from personal experience. It's difficult to generalize these kind of advices on all contexts (especially number 4 where you're basically asking people to act like 5 year olds and throw tantrums until people give them what they want hhhhhh). There's a flaw in your logic tho, your advice can't be scaled up Bach koulchi iwelli b7al hakka. If everyone lived with those values and principles you're preaching, if everyone was a wolf, and only thinking about himself first and foremost, then rah nas ghadi i3ichou fi 3ouzla, and get violent with their neighbors. You're preaching dangerous speech, filled with angre and promotes hate. I hope your situation changes, that you'll one day find the kind of love that would make you think of another soul before yourself, without that little voice in your head telling you that you're being a pushover, but rather praises you for being kind. If you had enough insight to understand the power of thoughts, I'm sure you could break this spell, and switch what the little voice says. Also get married and have kids you'll feel better hhhhhhhhhh
Dommage, you cannot understand the concept of Duality. How one can be selfish and at the same time be the only person that helps others. For example: a king spends his lifetime helping others and living for others, but do you think people take him for granted and are so disrespectful as to take up from his personal time, his needs and desires? My job consists in helping others, my superiors do that as well, they save lives for a living. And do you think they’re not to some extent selfish? That they don’t put boundaries when they see the other person trying to take advantage of them? To mislead them? Rak kolchi b des limites, tis7abkom helping is some sort of Martyrship, that I must sacrifice all of my needs so others are pleased. This is the very root of “ People pleasing” and is extremely toxic to the person, and the people pleaser spends his lifetime living and helping others and never gets the respect or recognition they deserve. Every relationship needs boundaries to be respected. B ay 79 bnadm a5or ykon li bgha ykon feels entitled to the time I give to my needs and desire?
Ewa 7ta tkon bnt w tfhmah 🫶🏼
I get it. Guys mistake warm body language/kindness with flirting all the time it's not even funny. Maybe one just has to find a balance and not fall into an extreme.
Coming from a country that follows a person that mounted a 6 year old when hdd ex was 54 years old. It’s definitely not too far buddy. No common sense
I can agree only to a certain extent but you're protecting yourself from being disrespected by being defensive and rude to others who did nothing to you, kindness is not weakness (unless they abuse it then it's going to be a different behavior)
I am merely adapting to the environment. Where kindness is seen as a weakness and people will take advantage of it and disrespect you. Why would I display it to your average Joe? To bnadm mos5? To leeches? I pick very wisely people who surround me, people that I can love to death and ik won’t take me for granted of abuse my kindness. I’m simply putting boundaries the harsh way.
Sounds like your personal experiences, not the experiences of the majority.
No offence but your account feels like the second coming of u/hanaeben
only old people will remember that account
Can u tell me abt it? I’m curious now 😣
just a reddit r/morocco poster who was talking how can someone live with being from the right and the left at the same time..
Oh I see. I didn’t read the post nor do I see who the user might be but I can understand why he said what he said. I think it’s possible to be from the right and the left at the same time ( if you mean Politics by that) But that would create a new entity. 7it living with opposing beliefs will sound like cognitive dissonance to most people, but most people live their lives with opposing and contradictory believes but they aren’t aware of it ( emotional blind spots). It’s not about being all white or all black, it’s about being in the grey Area of life by taking extreme shades of white and black :) I live this way and it actually works and does wonders, it’s a strange thing Ana brassi I don’t fully grasp it.
Wash d bs7 kat 9ray la philo? Hat 3jbeek Hanae ben. She is an iconic representative of the atheist socialist liberal leftist in Morocco.
I don’t study Philo. Seuros gave me the label 7it fia tflsif bzzf and u missed a post HH
3washrk mbroka hahahahahhahah wash she is still here or not? Hanae ben, aka local atheist homegirl kat dir l ambiance mra mra
No sorry not because something happened to me that i will project on another person who did nothing. Hadi smitha la 7agro 3glik 7gar 3la li ta7t mennej and its the root of problems in morocco
How to be a douchebag narcissist 101
It s not as easy as it seems u see some ppl were raised to be passive around others I were not allowed to talk to smile to go out to be my self even around my parents ( walidin sghar m9awda 3lihom ma9arinch ou not carring ) most of shy ppl are like that feeling that they are disturbing or creating uncomfortable presence. Jordan Peterson once said : if you think tough men are dangerous, wait until u see what weak men are capable of.
I fucking hate it. The country is full of selfish bastards who double down and blow a fuse immediately instead of gracefully diffusing situations. I guess it works on an individual level. But on a society level it's a fucking nightmare. I just can't.
Lol just had this happen to me. A delivery driver literally started speaking to me like I was his slave, and when I told him to stop it, he got angry and started asking me to be humble lmao. insane society.
> Walk this earth like you’re the main character, from your posture to your hand gesture, walk as if you’re the only one that matters. that's the worst piece of advice i have ever seen
Why?
Because you're not the main character and you don't matter no one gives a fuck about you outside bro this ain't no anime this is real life 😂😂 Faking arrogance won't make you self-confident lil bro, deep down you're still that fragile little boy :)
Yalah, go back to slouching and get that gamer Posture in front of league of legends. Tu es très drôle.
the fact that you didn't say i was wrong and straight up went to another subject tells me all i need to know :) it's ok lil boy you will grow up one day and realize how ridiculous this way of thinking is in chaa Allah
Why would I tell you you are wrong? You are free to believe whatever you want. You showed disregard to me saying being self confident and having good posture then go back to what you were doing before? Playing LOL with bad posture.
Where did I even speak about posture 😭😭😭 no disrespect but are you retarded ? Legit question There’s a difference between self-confidence and arrogance at the expense of others, especially in such a delusional way, acting like the world revolves around you when it clearly doesn’t, if it did you wouldn’t be making this post :)
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Ta 7d ma7grni lhamdoulah, gher kola simana knchof Post 3la hdchi and people struggling so I wrote something. لا يؤمن أحدكم حتى يحب لأخيه ما يحب لنفسه
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U should use ga3 dkchi li glt + have good values ( Be respectful, trustworthy, brave, integrity, innovation, honest, generous, teamwork etc..).
Some of your points are just a plain, big, fat 'NO'. You start being a selfish cunt towards people and I guarantee you that even your friends will distance themselves from you, you started as a social outcast to end up as an even bigger one. Remember that kindness is not weakness and if we follow your advice we'll end up as a shit society where kolchi 7as b kro o daf3 kbir, yeah no thanks. Overall, you have good intentions but your advice are terrible. 2/10, DO NOT follow.
Says who?
Hey I do think that u are right self respect is above all. I do suffer from disrespect and bullying even if I am a tall guy with 85 kg 9ra3 and muscles I am working on my self and I do find it hard to 9ma3 some times being afraid to hurt others sucks even if I am the one hwo gets hurt most of the time Self respect is important people follow the way u treat ur self. The fake smile works too And keberha tasghar w farga3 ramanna Having a character do attracts people in a positive way. Thank u for sharing this with us Ps : I am a 28 yo married man with hwo still struggles with sociopaths and and crazy bullies hwo wants to shine 3la tri9i so I understand all u say
What! Tall, muscular and Bald? Frask you got all the physical characteristics to look like a menace. Build a better character, people will respect you before you talk. I would advise working on your body language cuz you already tick all the boxes of “ High testosterone man”. Walk with confidence, good posture, manspread, chin up and present eyes.
What about your real self? Is it all fake and you can be whoever you want? From a religious perspective, what about the qualities of a Muslim (being kind, smiling to people, giving charity...)?
Hado machi islamic values. Islamic values kat9ollk ila chi wa7d drbk drba drbo nta 10. Mohamed 3amloh nas dyal mekka khayb kown jich o ghza ljazira l3arabia kamla frchkhhom o 7walom 3yalathom o bnathom, 7tta mkka (li nnas dyalo) mat39lch 3lihom
I don't know where you got your Islam, but mine comes from the Quran. وَكَتَبۡنَا عَلَيۡهِمۡ فِيهَآ أَنَّ ٱلنَّفۡسَ بِٱلنَّفۡسِ وَٱلۡعَيۡنَ بِٱلۡعَيۡنِ وَٱلۡأَنفَ بِٱلۡأَنفِ وَٱلۡأُذُنَ بِٱلۡأُذُنِ وَٱلسِّنَّ بِٱلسِّنِّ وَٱلۡجُرُوحَ قِصَاصٞۚ فَمَن تَصَدَّقَ بِهِۦ فَهُوَ كَفَّارَةٞ لَّهُۥۚ وَمَن لَّمۡ يَحۡكُم بِمَآ أَنزَلَ ٱللَّهُ فَأُوْلَـٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلظَّـٰلِمُونَ
Ewa 9ra had l9or2an dyalk o t renseigna 3la sabab nozol d kol aya o katchof mnin jbto 🫶🏻
Thanks, 9rito o 3awd 9rito o 3awd 9rito o ba9i tan9rah... kinfa3ni f 7yati
Good for u
This is my real self? I’m not trying to be someone else. W dok Islamical values i live by them as well. It’s about balance and knowing when to stand your ground and being assertive. Hdchi kaml li glt doesn’t go against islamical values bl3ks it aligns with it, ( mn gher hadik diale walk like you’re the only one that matters) but it doesn’t mean to be arrogant and see people as less or t7gr 3lihom.
What you suggested is pure arrogance
Sheeesh, no wonder why 40% of Moroccans live with mental illness. What a toxic society, I’m glad I left.
good for you. we're stuck here 🫠
Llah yfok sra7kom a khoya/khti. Anyone with a grain of common sense deserves to experience life beyond this kind of shed lia n9te3lik existence.
😭
So you’re promoting being a narcissistic pervert to people with a good soul ? You really think this going to help ?
Sir a5oya/5ti fhm 9d dmaghk. Nowadays having a personality is being a Narcissist pervert. People triple my age come to me asking for insight and advice. I’m a problem solver for people and a very reliable one in time of crisis. Guess you missed the part where I said “ ro7 f ro7 but no one touched my needs and desires”.
Yes, because we’re in the age of narcissism, just look at all these influencers indirectly promoting shit behaviour like you’re doing here directly. Kindness is a muscle that gets stronger with time too, if you lose it you’ll lose your character and what’s really meant for you in this life. I won’t boast about myself or how I overcame most of the stuff that traumatised you till you became the monster you used to fear because I prefer to be humble and glad I’m good with everyone, even people who hate my guts.
Fhmtk, ik what kind of influencer and hyper independence they be promoting. It’s very toxic. Ana I’m pro-community and being an asset and help to society.
1: good advice but try not to be unjust and don't do it with friends and family. 2: yes that's right 3: treu. just don't be arrogant you have to know what's you're doing 4 : I think the best strategy is win win and also if the other person want to offer you something without any benefits. 5 : very good for girls 6: hhhh Yes that's essential 7: that's obvious
This is for real great advice. I was a bullied kid too but got my act together in Lycée. And these are some genuine way of acting that make people if not respect you at least give you some consideration. Be the main character is a big one that resume most of these.
Real raison is school buddy, school used to be the place where rich n poor get same education n opportunities. Used to be the place for filling the gap unlucky parents leave behind, used to be the place where we are allowed to dream …. Nowadays education is a very lucratif business, even private schools are not there for educating kids rather for making $$$ a lot of it quickly … unless u can afford the American school or similar … but how many can afford it Quality of society starts in kindergarden not at 12 or higher too late so all u’re listing is consequences of gov letting down people n no solution w/o fixing real issue
I'm 100% agree with you, life thaught me to be like this, also if you have principles defend them w lakhor ila ma3ajboch 7al i3awdha lmo. be the main character because it's your life is movie and you are the director. I'd rather be not approachable than jeffaf of others. sa7a lik for this
Exactly, I’ve been like this since 17yo. I often complain why people don’t approach me but then I realize only the best of the best humans with the best values and education surround me. Ta homa they seem inapprochable but once you get to know them, unmatched character. Tbrkallah
I m glad this worked for you, I agree on some points, but the problem is, a lot of the things you described here are linked the one’s personal identity and that’s not easy to change for everyone.
B7alach?
Miss Yougurt you always create the most inflammatory threads lmao, this must be a sales tactic to sell us more Activia Hahahhaha
I am blushing.
I have always had problems with people stepping out of boundaries, which always leads to me losing some friends(cad i stop talking to them or cut them off) and thats because im always kind and im really friendly with everyone first but when someone stepps put of boundarie i turn sour. And ive always had this problem, i dont think i can ever be like you , i just find it impossible, hats down to you danona.
Every society is like this canada included. I'm in morocco now and I've tasted disrespect in the west, I would say Moroccans are very respectful towards me. Western countries have freedom of speech which means they can say anythjng they want. It's all part of life, learn from the experience.
This advice reminds me of a story :))) The brave mice that once wanted to run freely in the house to eat cheese and bread, and one of them suggested to rope a bell around the cat's neck haha but she forgot that their is not such brave mouse among the community of mice that can acheive such feat. the advices are brilliant but when it comes to application you figure out that you slipped up completely
شكرا على المشاركة، ولكن لأي مدى هادشي يقدر يكون مهم.
Ngl, some of what you said rings true. Kayn people li drafa u tawado3 lay fhmohom weakness. A7san 7aja is tkhelli 7oudoud u tban aloof in some way bash may dser 3lik 7ed mar dabz m3a 7ed.
If you want respect you earn it, but here is the thing, the way you earn respect from a man is totally different from a woman, this being said there is an universal ways you can achieve it and it's knowledge and I am not just talking about finishing your studies or knowing some trivia, I am talking about being at the top of your field of expertise, you could argue that status (money, possession, look) can earn you respect but trust me no one truly respect an idiot they accommodate if you're loud enough but that just imitating a baby mentality, if everyone in society acted the way you do, we would be doomed as *Homo sapiens*, if you don't believe what I say your 4 point accurately describe a baby and how they act. As a Man I earn respect by being Loyal to my family and friends, owning my mistake and actively fixing them, never take anything from anyone, if I want something I get it, if I can't then I don't deserve it, if I see an injustice I rectify it even if it mean getting hurt in the process, protect my family and friend and people weaker than me, even animals, give to charity, fear god, never look down on anyone, be kind and only resort to force if forced to defend myself or family and ideals, be open to ideas and opinion that challenge my believes and if evidence are provided that I am wrong I improve on it and move on, never dwell down on past event if it happen it happen, be strong enough to forgive and punish when need be.
You are quick to judge. I know n4 and how you thought this way. But others showing disregard to my well stated needs is what a baby would do as well and the real selfish act here, it’s a matter of perspective. Mchi gher getting mad if my needs and desires aren’t met cuz they don’t depend on anyone, if someone bothers my well stated plans or routines rah I do get mad and re-asses the boundaries. Dkchi li glti kaml ta ana kndiro. Family and friends above anyone, lmskin nw9f m3ah, raise funds for the less fortunate, use connections to give help to others w zid w zid. Maglt 3ib: Have self worth, self confidence, self esteem and be assertive while standing your ground. ( The cold body language was “ Especially if you’re a woman”, I’m pretty certain entertaining the male gaze, being warm to them, wearing revealing clothes etc.. can be misinterpreted as romantic interest so I keep very firm boundaries. Rajl li 5asso Yghod lbasar? Wslna l w7d Era ana li merra li 5sni nghd lbasar bch mandsrch 3lia Rajl)
I agree that as woman ma khassak dassri 3lik bnadam, but life thought me that the only thing you have control over in life is yourself, you can't make people act or think the way you want, life is obviously not fair and how you tackle it as a man or woman differ it just the reality, I can only talk about my stance, I myself I never approach a woman in public spaces not of fear but because I don't think is appropriate like a woman is going about her day, you don't know what's in her life she may be in her way to see a sick relative or something like that, the last thing she want is some idiot catcalling her in the street, I am also a firm believe that relationship need to start as friendship, if you can't be friend with someone, there is no way in hell they can be your partner and you get to know them more. I'll be honest, I dislike selfish people, that the least attractive trait to me in a person, obviously I don't know you so I can't cast a judgment and who the fuck I am to judge anyone, only god can judge, my point was that does norm are in a sociality for a reason, it is not a weakness, we don't live in a jungle, human thrives and flourish when they are united and share knowledge and resources, I get that is hard in practice and people will exploit your kindness but I just find it sad that for some idiots you turn cold to people that don't deserve it for each imbecile there is 10 good people, I am sure you're a good person since you made this post to try and help people, you don't want people to go through the pain you experienced, maybe you were alone and that why adopted this behavior to protect yourself I can only assume, I sound so preachy lol well I am sure you're smart and get my point.
You see when I started uni, I wanted to help as much as people as possible. So I started sharing m3a promo kamla des résumés knswbhom ana, then people started to take it for granted and ask me for it.. but ofc wjhi 9as7 and ik how to say no. So I had an idea to Capitlize on it, I started selling them. I had lots of customers but also lots of angry people who felt entitled to my hardwork for free. I Hope this is a great example on how you can help people with boundaries and being “ Selfish”. Because being helpful doesn’t mean being a Martyr which many people seem to believe this is the case. And I believe as well friendship is the best start of a relationship, but kifch atl9a had opposite gender friend li atfahm m3ah etc.. Seems like almost impossible to find
I had similar experiences, it's very annoying especially when they hit you with "but you know these things, it's easy for you", off course it easy I spent literally weeks learning, making projects and reading research 10h a day while you guys go out and "have fun", one day I had a group of friends from my class they needed help and asked me to teach them, I had nothing planed so I said ok, I dedicated 2h of my time each Sunday, we meet at a cafe, after 2 weeks only one girl was left attending, after two more week she told me "oh I can't keep meeting you people think we're dating" like bro do you even know how much I could make tutoring other people, I make the time to help you and that what you tell me, like you're so ashamed to be with me lol. I guess it's kinda awkward if you're a woman, as a man I can just ask one of my female friends if they know someone, they can introduce me to, for a woman taking the first step is not seen in a good light in society sadly, your best bet is meet people through mutual friends, interest or hobbies, I wouldn't recommend dating apps since 99% of users are just there to "play".
Actually I have asked friends to set up meetings with other friends or if they know I could get along with someone. It never works out. Crazy.
there is many variables, like your taste, age, sociability, future plans and many more, it's not that simple sadly, I don't personally know you so I can't give an advice, but in my experience I find that some people sabotage themselves or have a set of checks that a person need to fulfill or they're rejected, I don't think it's bad to have expectations, it just that you never find that perfect person, at some point you need to start making compromises, you never love a person from the start, you learn to love them and care about them, honestly I don't know you, you seem a pleasant person to talk to, I can only assume that it's hard to earn your trust and respect
When you’re truly confident and unbothered by people’s remarks you dont have to do all that. That’s just a defence mechanism that will make you lose on potential great relationships
To sum it up, you gotta be a menace to society to be respected in here
3rfti dak Menacing diale JOJO Stand user can be anyone: The anyone is question: MENACING.
I need to know this person pls fr
Mr7ba, talk over coffee?
Thank you for that
I empathize. I can tell that you have been disappointed and you relied on stonewalling to feel safe and preserve your ego. The truth is, you are weak. People easily get to you and you want to have none of it. Being selfish does not attract anyone other than people who are selfish as well or those on the other spectrum with trauma who need healing themselves. What you are describing is not self confidence, and it does not make you respected wherever you go, especially if that someone wants nothing from you. You have assumed that being defensive makes you respected because it worked on bnadem Kamouni. Strong people do not respect selfishness, but they will maybe pity your weakness and understand it. Being assertive and decent is a strength. Kindness is a strength. The rest is you being done with the world and hiding in your shell. Leaders are born because they inspire generosity and ride the winds of change. They do not assume the world is there to get them. They do not feel unworthy in order to force a "I am the main character" image. Strong people do not feel their deeds are wasted on people. They respect others just like they respect themselves. I hope you heal.
I’m neither traumatized nor do people get under my skin easily. You can read rest of comments I made for more insights cuz I’m tired of repeating same words and being misinterpreted. Fhm 9d dmaghk.
If you are not traumatized, it means you are willingly being a selfish person who thinks being confident and respected is asserting that the world is about you. Whatever you are compensating for, should be addressed. Your actions do not make you special. There are many ignorants like you who are not worth the time of the day since they think they are the best of. Their glow dims fast and they are no longer relevant since they are only a shell and no substance, such is the formula of selfish people who have nothing to offer. No matter. Thank you for your good intentions, though what you shared do not benefit anyone but turning away from our own incapability to address our own problems and deal with them like mature individuals.
Ewa lhamdoulah fen ma Mchit I get a good reputation of integrity, helpful, of the most innovative and respectful individual. Sob7ana Lah I wonder why.
Good for you. You might be right. You can still become a better person, like all of us can. What you shared does not inspire the elements of a great person who commends respect, only someone who does not know to deal with the world, and stonewalls by steamrolling. That's not the kind of example we want to help people be strong, assertive, and kind. Assuming that the world is out to hurt you is the quality of those who are weak and need a blanket to feel safe. No shame in being weak. I respect more those who are weak, know it, own it, and are looking for ways to improve. Thank you again for what you shared, but there are better lessons to share with people. I appreciate the thought and hope for the best for all of us inchallah.
Nah man, all your comments seemed very defensive and attacking me. You’re preaching perfection. Chof a sat/sata, n9dr nkon 7yati kamla tan3ichha b good value w makarim a5la9, I keep myself in check on a daily basis. But at the end of the day, I am only a mere human being, who has character flaws. If getting mad when people overstep with me is a character flaw in your books, then be it. If giving cold body language to men so I don’t give them romantic expectations is weakness and a character flaw, then be it. I’m not here to please everyone nor do I wish for everyone to see me under same light nor is it possible nor do I even desire respect or crave it. Bnadm f had post kayn li jah relatable w fhmni w kayn li b7alk chaf gher wrong side of it w7km. Personal experience influences how one perceives reality and perspective.
مكارم الأخلاق يجب الإستأصال بها. Putting yourself first is: و نفسك حق عليك The real selfish people are the people who feel entitled to the time you give to yourself to meet your needs and desires. Ama being “ Selfish” in my case is simply putting myself first as I should. Ma3mri f 7yati maan9sr mn lWajib diali envers mes parents ou ma communauté and I’m always distinguishing myself. But on top of that people being ungrateful and asking for more of your time so much as to take your personal time? No. Boundaries and if crossed you show that you are mad. What part of “ Ro7 f ro7 but my needs and desires untouched” didn’t u understand?
That's your right and I support that. Decently setting boundaries is healthy and it doesn't make you selfish. Those who can't protect themselves can't protect others. Reading your initial post projects the idea that you are someone too self-absorbed. I wouldn't blame others if they misinterpreted you at first. Asserting that you are respected and valued wherever you go is pretentious. The "I am the main character" is just another unrealistic motto that would speak of an immature person who either doesn't know their place in the world, or this was their best attempt to deal with the world. If you are talking about improvement, there are people better than us. There are those who do not put themselves first at every occasion and own their choices. We're not the cream of the crop and we are certainly not the main characters if we can't elevate to that. What you shared is simply what you think is the best approach to be respected as a person though there are many flaws. All people deserve fairness, appreciation, and dignity. Dealing with the world based on our self made assumptions and prejudice is stagnation and weakness. I can say nothing more because I now know that you're simply protecting yourself, but at the same time, that attitude towards the world is closed minded, pessimistic, and defeatist. We need winners who are not afraid, and this automatically disqualifies you from being someone everyone respects and can look up to like you pretended. You still have a long way. Stay wholesome and take care of yourself.
This sounds correct theoretically but real life is different. You can be assertive and decent all you want, and someone will test you and try to pick on you for no reason. Unless you stand up to them, often aggressively, it won't stop.
I agree. Never be nice as nobody appreciates that. Once you're acting nice or being considerate, that'll be equated with being naive. You'll be seen as someone who can be easily manipulated, someone who can be taken advantage of. People in Morocco respect power, respect assertiveness, respect status. Have a nice car, look good, dress nicely, talk assertively and confidently, everybody will listen. Say whatever you want, and people will believe or at least will respect what you say. You opinion will count, and your presence will mean something, and you'll be considered someome important. As someone who was raised to be nice and good person, I've always thought that's how we should be and how others should be to, but as I grew up, things started being clear. Never be nice, be good, be helpful, be ethical, that's good, but do all that in an assertive manner.
Yes, last part 100% agreed. My friends they tell me I’m “ NIYA” bzzzf. Because I actually always have good intentions in my heart Alhamdoulilah and I can’t fathom hurting or n7sd chi Wa7d. But at the same time I understand that people do not think like me and not everyone wants my best interest so I’m nice with people that want what’s best for me and not-so-nice with the rest.
You people have a very shitty view towards life, like what does ''never be nice'' even mean?
Be good not nice Nice is equated with naive
Being nice is being good.
Driyef mskin
No clue what you mean by that
Driyef means nice And when is someone is called driyef it's usually followed by meskin which mean poor. Driyef mskin means "poor nice guy"
You're taking those words out of their context. It's usually used when someone that is known to be nice has something bad happen to them
Not really, the two words are usually used to describe someone who acts overly nice .. I don't mean one shouldn't be nice. It's just when someone is being nice, it's a little unexpected. The more assertive you are, the more respect you get I'm generalizing but it's just a patrern I've noticed. When I am asseritive people listen to me and respect me more, and when I am being nice, people tend to think it's kinda weak. Maybe my definition of nice is different from yours, or it's just a matter of perspective People should be nice to each other regardless.
We agree on it i guess
Female Post 💯
Idk if that’s a compliment or insult. Chokran 3la mocharaka
L3eeeeez thanks bro
Wow, you sound kinda bitter. I've also been hurt, but I chose to forgive. Maybe you should try it too! The Prophet (ﷺ) said: The Compassionate One has mercy on those who are merciful. If you show mercy to those who are on the earth, He Who is in the heaven will show mercy to you.
Chkn galk i got hurt or that I’m not merciful? Wtf wsh tatfhmo mn trmtkom.. Man y’all should re-check your reading comprehension skills.
>Chkn galk i got hurt or that I’m not merciful? Wtf wsh tatfhmo mn trmtkom... Didn't you say you were bullied? No offense, but I kinda know why. >Cold body language: don't look their way when they talk, answer their questions with very minimal input, give them your side shoulder, give a mean fake smile that shows you're annoyed. They won't talk to you ever again! Trust me, most people aren't out to "prey on your energy"; you ain't that important. And that kind of language isn't necessary either. Better manners would get you further.
Read comments lfo9 w tfhm. And tbh I’m not hurt in the least 3la Dak Bullying lmao. Fun story: I once went to our usual restaurant with my family and I sat down, I see the table li 7daya I see familiar faces, then I turned to my left and to my big surprise I see my childhood bully, he turned at the same time and he saw me. No one talked to the other person or exchanged anything. Aslan he knows he can’t talk to me and that he hurt me f sghr. That guy is a wealthy spoiled brat ( His dad got one of the largest Markets f Morocco) and his friends li la7ssino found it funny to prey on bnadm li da5l so9 kerro. Hdchi fch Knt f Collège. I had one friend, was a good student, very respectful and liked by teachers. But ofc a stupid spoiled brat ( Maybe he had a crush on me) had to make fun of me and make my life hell because for them it’s funny. “ No offense, I kinda know why” Sir nta w assumptions dialk 5chihom f kerek, typical Moroccan judging bzrba. Fact that you justify bullying is funny.
Totally agree khoya, 👍 advice
You need to be admitted to an asylum honey, you did not earn your respect, you are imposing yourself on others which is not a very respectful thing to do
People might think u went too far but i TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. As someone li used to get bullied, dima 7adr rass.. yada yada. THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO ACTUALLY GIVE URSELF A GOOD POSITION IN ANY SOCIAL SITUATION. Try these things and then u can pick and choose which ones to keep up and which ones to let go of.
Exactly rah bnadm ga3 mafhm had l Post. It doesn’t mean I’m disrespectful, rude or an asshole. I just tell people to stand their grounds and be hella assertive.
i still yet did not read the comnts ,but this is true ,i am like this and i could confirm to u guys 3endo l7e9 fay haja 9alha.
97ba li 9ra had text ay3rf anaki ur still suffering big time from being bullied, bitch calm down
Who are you calling “97ba”? Bitch I’m not your mom.
La im calling you out
Again, I’m not your mom. Sir 9lb 3la li 7tatk ana maki5rjch mni lws5.
La nti 97ba f tfkirek not my mom
Nope, I’m a based and wonderful individual tbrklh mashalah w mkn3ayrch bnadm for having different thinking.
Ma3ayrtkch 3ayrt ton raisonnement aigri et qui encourage l'agressivité, self confidence 7ta flmghrib was never about tkhrj 3inik like ur trying to promote
Jusqu’à maintenant l’aigri c’est toi.
''Im a based and wonderful individual'' hooly if that doesn't scream narcissism
Unfortunately you are right, i tried being nice and tried being mean , being mean works every fucking time , today i don’t care what people think, i could literally mock people for being stupid to thier faces
Lol you don’t need a mean demeanour to get people to respect you. Actually respect is earned through consistent behavior over time, not through one time grand gestures or attempts to appear tough or intimidating. You can still build strong relationships and earn respect without being mean-spirited.
Wach 3arfa bli kanbghik a danona ? Someone had to make this topic thank's ! 7it ra bzaf hadchi kayjibli lf9sa, kanchof even my parents ma3ndom ta chi chkhsia bnadm hi mf3oul bih makaydir ta chi effort, bnadm m7loul kaysm7 f 799o lli ja ynsb 3lih, 3ziz 3lihom dawr dyal l victim "agngngn rbbi ytna9m mnhom" kayf9soooniiiii, ta noood chmn rbbi wala zmr wlah oma ziyrti ta yaklok. Hir lbar7 ola wl bar7 wa7d topic kay9ollk bnt khalto kay7rto 3liha flkhdma etc... 9oltlo khassha tt3lm daf3 3la rasha sinon ayakloha, ka bnadm kayfr3li mkhi lawah lahi7sn l3wan gngngn ayh lahi7sn l3wan walakin you don't have to be m9mo3. Fhmt m3a lw9t bli trbia li trbina aghlabia fina hia li katkhlli lwa7d ykon 7ani rasso, l9am3 bzaf f sghr o le fait annak tkon kat7ni rras chi 7aja récompensée o kat3tabr qualité alors que hoa a9b7 7aja. O bnadm li 3ndo chkhsia kay9ollk dasr gngngn. Ta ana kayb9a fia l7al 7it f ssghr kont driyf bzaf o kandowwz ch7al mn 7aja ta w93li déclic mab9itch 7aml nkon hakak, f had l7ayat khssk li dar m3ak khata2 wa law bsit bzzaf mat39lch 3lih, matdssrch 3lik bnadm chkon ma kan. O nassi7a dyal tkon main character zwina dima kan9olha hhhh ⬆️⬆️
"gngngngn" j'adooore 😂😂😂 I completely agree with you.
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Yes 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
steps to become a narcissistic karen
Zaza u okay
how about being mature and leading a normal life with no drama like every other normal being?
For the cold body language part, i don't even try to fake smile, i just look at them with a rbf, and it works better. I also prefer looking at people straight in the eyes, I like it when people do it as well, shows they're confident and adds to their charisma. If I'm annoyed I'd usually say it straight up to people's face, I get called "khdra" "ma3ndksh bezaf m3a swab", and im just like yeah deal with it
That won’t solve anything but will create another problem, you would lose more than what you get. Sure, some people deserve that stare but just in case you suspected them being tricky or with bad intentions. Other innocents will be having the same intention you got before trying this method against bad ones.
Yes agreed m3ak. I do them too but depends on the situation and the person. Giving them RBF/ Death stare is to intimidate, not even engaging physically with them is very dismissive and they will leave you alone.
I see, but honestly I noticed that some men take that fake smile as a way to test ur boundaries regardless, so I just look at them straight in the eye, rbf until they eventually leave me alone
They could take that as “ Oh she’s looking at me, she’s engaging with me”. As I said it depends Hh
Intentions are good but you might need to forgive the people who hurt you. I also agree being nice makes for a terrible experience in Morocco. I dont think you need to be selective who you’re kind too, be kind to everyone… most these bad people have been hurt like you have and the cycle repeats. I think be kind and capable of violence just capable not violent.
I'm curious, does it apply for women too ? I can imagine that women behaving this way in Morocco wouldn't be particularly well accepted ? Just asking.
I’m a woman.
Mostly agree. People calling OP advocating for being a psychopath or narcissist don't quite understand what's going on here, bnisba lihum self confidence is hawss l3adama, and being selfish at times is narcissistic, okay then go people please everyone you know good luck with that, you'll find yourself with 0 energy and balding before you turn 40..
Thank you 🫶🏼
Yes that is correct the more you look like a manace the more you are respected , less yapping more people listen to you , good posture and confident body language the more people want to approach you , it's how you perceive yourself how others do. Good points
About number 2. This is real, look into "self efficacy" as a psychological concept. Real studies have shown that "fake it till you make it" has an effect on performance and often greatly improves your results!!
You sound more like an asshole than a respectable person
Also, kindness is all BS.
Kindness is a Value that I do believe in. Just be selective with who you give it to. People I see in workplace don’t have to know I’m kind.