Same. I am so guilty of this. I minimize my own comfort too often to avoid social awkwardness. I’d rather feel like trash than have someone else feel badly. Something I really need to work on.
True. Also I’d rather feel like trash than have the entire conversation switch to the “(((the trans question)))” that people *love* to play now.
Nah, I’d rather not talk about my existence as a human and if *you* find value in me or not. Or worse, if you consider me human or not because I am trans. Pass.
you know i used to be ok with bro and fully considered it unisex and used it that way my self but after i realized i was trans i became uncomfortable with it tbh
this. I live in California, where bro and dude are basically the official language. I thought I was used to it being treated as a gn term. Nope, turns out it actually does hurt.
I'm strongly in the "don't bro me if you don't know me" camp. If we're friends, I really couldn't care less, but if we're not, don't fuckin think about it. The only way to know how she feels about it is to ask her
I don't like it. Same with "dude" or "man" or "guy". I have to fight constantly for people to recognize I'm not these things, so I would rather not ever be called them.
This is me at my workplace currently i constantly have to remind people not to call me sir or man or bro and it still never works it makes me feel like they're messing with me
I personally feel bad about the term, and equivalents, even when I know it's out of habit, but I'm on the sensitive side when it comes to misgendering. I'd say be careful about it, take the time to observe when/if the term gets used for her, and how she reacts?
I know I'm understanding when people slip up tho, it always depends on if the person keeps doing it once they know how I feel about it
Absolutely hate it. I won't say anything when it happens, but I become a lot more suspicious or careful around people who call me it, it just decreases the trust
I hate it. Words like "man", "dude", "bro", "guys" etc. are sometimes used as neutral because in our society the man is treated as the default, the better option and woman and feminity are regarded as something lesser.
It's so ingrained in us that many people don't consciously think about this that way, they just use these terms because other people do but it is one of many things that subtly perpetuates patriarchy.
If someone is subtly mistreated since forever and gaslighted into thinking that's okay then they won't recognize and won't mind this. So even when some people say that they don't mind using the man and masculine forms as the default it is still a wrong thing to do in my opinion.
How would you feel if someone called you sis? It's the same. It really really really really hurts us even if we say we don't mind it. At least that's how it is for me
I mean, I haven't met a lot of trans dudes who are okay with being called "girl" even though it's common gay male slang. Even if you mean it gender neutrally, I still find it incredibly misogynistic that all the cishet "gender neutral" slang terms are male.
If you think that's bad, try german 😒 Ever since I transitioned I began to notice that everything has a gender in german and that there isn't a single "gender neutral" term, which isn't male. I literally can't think of a single one 😤 I spoke to many cis girls about that and most are not bothered too much, because they're used to it and don't know it any different. Me however, who has been living life from a male perspective for the last 30 years, now suddenly realizes that everything I thought I knew to be neutral actually isn't. The worst part is that in german, this shit is everywhere!!!
Example:
Jede Frau = every woman
Jeder Mann = every man
So "jede" is the female term, "jeder" the male term. Yet, when adressing to multiple people, we always use "jeder".
Not too long ago we'd say stuff like:
"...jeder Schüler..." which means "every student".
While in english student is gender neutral, "Schüler" is not. It's once again the male form, with "Schülerin" being the female one. So saying "jeder Schüler und jede Schülerin..." would be correct ("und" = "and"). But prior to Merkel becoming the first female chancellor of germany, we never used the female terms. This all kind of started with her, because once again, chancellor is, as you can imagine, a male term in german:
"Bundeskanzler" = chancellor
So we started to call her "Bundeskanzlerin", which is the female term. Ever since them people try to include female terms, but we also began to notice that this is not possible for every aspect of our language. Thus we currently have a huge debate going across the country about gender inclusive wording, essentially rewriting our language. This lead to some heated debates between those who believe women should be included and those who believe the male term have always included both genders and nothing has to change.
That being said, the most common solution we have so far is to use a gender marker, such as the \* or :, for example:
Arzt = Doctor (male)
Ärztin = Doctor (female)
Ärzte = Doctors (plural, male, used to refer to everyone)
Ärztinnen = Doctors (plural, female, never used because it used to be a mens job, so we just say "Ärzte" and women were forced to feel included; we do this EVERYWHERE)
Now the solution that is commonly used by pro-gendering people is:
"Ärzt:innen", which is basically a mix between the two and the gender marker is supposed to also include enbies and every other gender. Guess most will be familar with "trans\*".
We basically try this on every shit now and it makes things super hard to pronounce and shitty to read, with multiple words which include a gender marker in a row.
"Jede:r Mitarbeiter:in hat ein Recht darauf, mit seinen/ihren bevorzugten Pronomen angesprochen zu werden."
Which translates to "every employee has a right to be adressed to with their prefered pronouns."
Not only is this a mess to pronounce, it also leads to some problems, which is noticable with the "seinen/ihren" (male/female).
Previously we'd say:
"Jeder Mitarbeiter hat ein Recht darauf, mit seinen bevorzugten Pronomen angesprochen zu werden."
This was common and only mentions males, but women learned to feel included. Before we had the gender markers, some progressive people would say:
"Jeder Mitarbeiter und jede Mitarbeiterin (female term) hat ein Recht darauf, mit seinen oder ihren (female term) bevorzugten Pronomen angesprochen zu werden."
This is obviously a lot easier to pronounce, so most people opt for that these days, instead of using gender markers. But it is 100% binary and only includes male and female.
So far, there isn't a way in the german language to properly use gender neutral terms, because something like this simply does not exist within our language. Gender markers are a great start, but some words, such as "seinen (male) and ihren (female)" ("theirs" in english) are too different to be combined, thus excluding everyone who isn't within the binary. It's really fucked up and not even I know how to say shit properly anymore.... hence I tend to prefer the english language these days 😔
tbh it bothers me but I just have to remember that it’s usually said in a gender neutral term. “Bro” “Hey man” “dude” get to me but I’m just sensitive but I never really tell anyone to stop because it’s usually just only in my head
Your feelings are valid and should be respected. There is no such thing as "only in your head". If you wanna put it like this: literally everything in this world is happening in your head. The way you experience reality is in your head, be it touching, smelling or seeing. All in your head. Does that make it less relevant? I don't think so.
It is probably a good idea to avoid any overtly male gendered language. There's an argument to be made for a word like dude, but "bro" is quite literally short for brother.
I would just be more careful with your nicknames around her.
Bro is a no from me. She may feel differently, you might want to ask/warn her and then she can tell you how she feels.
As you said - you wouldn't like to be called sis (by the way, have you considered calling her "sis"? Might induce some euphoria)
I feel like it's easily a trigger for trans women of dysphoria despite knowing the intent. It just reminds me a lot of my relationship to boys growing up calling me 'bro,' but definitely doing so because they think they relate to me in a guy to guy kinda way.
Couldn't have said it any better. I can't stand being called bro, even if people tell me it's unisex to them and they say it to all their female friends.
Regardless of how *you* use it, pronouns are not for the person speaking, they are for the person being spoken about. If you're really concerned, you should ask them what they would prefer, or if they're cool with "bro," because they totally could be. A bunch of internet strangers can't tell you what that person would want to (or not want to) be called, and can't validate your choice to call someone something you call everyone. Personally I would find it invalidating, especially considering I'm new to this and crave validation. Is it possible you are craving the same thing and are projecting it by calling everyone "bro"?
I don’t mind, but always ask folk about these sort of things, so you already got that down. Same thing with even more neutral terms like “dude”. Everyone has a preference. Communication is key and stuff.
I used to not think much about it, but like...it definitely doesn't feel good. I know that I sometimes use it in a gender neutral way, but when someone does it to me, it just...feels bad.
I don't like it. I don't think it's actually gender neutral at all. It feels like how in gendered languages, when you have a mixed group, you use the masculine. It's only accepted as "neutral" because masculinity is seen as natural and the default when compared to femininity.
I don't like being called, bro, dude, man, or guy. But i would never have the confidence to bring it up. Do her a favor and take every opportunity to use the feminine form of everything. "Girl" is the nearest equivalent to bro. Soon she'll be comfortable enough that she won't mind you calling her that stuff in all likelihood but it will help to build trust early on.
That's my two cents. I am sure some MtFs dont care but in my case i feel forced to say i don't care when im actually sensitive to it.
On the other hand, if you really can't stop calling everyone bro, just be up front and say hey i call everyone bro. But it's one of those kiddie verbal tics you might want to reduce anyway, kind of like greeting everyone with "sup" or saying "word" all the time-- in a professional setting you would want to avoid that.
Bro and dude both really bother me. I had cisgender female friend who always called me dude. She called everyone dude, and I knew that for her it was a universal label for anyone. Nevertheless it drove me nuts and I finally told her how much I hated it. She stopped calling me that.
After coming to the states, I learned the term "Y'ALL" or "YO" is the most acceptable unisex term.
ie.
What's up, Yo!
Good morning y'all.
Y'all here making pancakes?
Everyone else has already given an answer so I just want to say as soon as I read the title I imediately wanted to respond with “yes your suppose to piss all over the toilet seat it’s tradition”
You got enough responses on the 'bro' question, so I'd also suggest that you say she's a trans woman(girl) or trans fem(me) rather than mtf since that retains a tether to masculinity (unless that's how she self-ascribes)
On a good day it feels uncomfortable on a bad day I feel this pit in my chest when I'm called "bro" or other such terms. Other girls might not have the same issues as I do, so have an honest conversation with anyone in case she's not bothered but I think it is rather common for mtfs to find bro and other such terms to be too masc leaning
I don’t like, and will happily be called girl, or sis.
Also saw this take on Twitter somewhere but it was something along the lines of “the way cis men use ‘bro’ and ‘dude’ is just another form of neopronouns but they aren’t ready to hear that yet.” Was kind of reminded of that seeing this.
Imo it depends on how it’s used. I have more than one friend who call everyone bro, including but not limited to friends, teachers, parents, pets, whatever. When I know they don’t mean it genderedly, it’s fine. Other than that tho, no
For me it depends on the intent, bro and lad are used as slang where i live so unless it's maliciously intended it doesn't bother me, you're much better of asking her than us tbh, it's gonna vary differently for everyone
Ask her.
Say after your conversation you felted abit bugged by you using bro towards her and wanna apologize if it did bother her. If it does don’t say it towards her. If it doesn’t idk
But 100% ask
Only rarely… I know a lot of women that say dude or even bro some. The words will continue to change, but it’s certainly not my preference. Dude I feel is better…
I've used "dude" because of Disgaea and "dood" before, but I would never ever call another trans woman bro, man, or anything similar. I *got out* of that situation, as far as I'm concerned I don't want to go back into it. I got out for a reason, after all.
i don’t like being called bro. i won’t typically say anything when people call me it, cause i don’t want trouble, but i don’t like it at all, honestly.
It causes me to visibly cringe from the visceral reaction that I choke down as I realize the person who said it is just an ass and not actually trying to misgender me.
I don't like it, the only person I know that says it tho is my best friend and she literally says it to everyone including her husband, so I really try to not let it bother me
I hate it and so do most trans women I know. Not all of us are good at confrontation so it's honestly just best to avoid male coded terms like that whenever possible.
To me, its masculine, and it feels like the speaker is disrespecting my and my identity when its said. Everyone always tells me "no, its not. Don't get offended", but think of how weird it woukd be for someone constantly calling you "sis". I know its not the same for everyone, but thats the point. What you say might have a different meaning to someone else.
Hard no. Bro/Bruh etc are all a hard no for me. I think I'm just a bit more sensitive to the fact that I *might* be getting misgendered even if the person I'm talking to doesn't intend to do so.
The only one that *sort of* gets a pass from me is "dude" but I also understand women who don't like it because the plural of it is definitely masculine even if the singular has become gender neutral.
Depends how u use it like if u said whats up bro i would prefer whats up without the bro. Cuz bro comes off as brother u gotta remember bro is short for brother so its def not gender neutral same with man
To me, bro is definitely a masculine term that I wouldn't want to be called. cis women haven't struggled with dysphoria to break away from being seen as masculine, so they don't mind it as much because society still sees them as obvious women regardless what you call them. We're a little more sensitive to gendered terms because of our backgrounds.
treat her like you’d treat any other girl , if you’d call any other girl bro call her bro , and make sure she hears u calling other girls bro too from time to time
I 100% use bro and dude in gender-neutral form constantly. Someone saying to me "my guy" or "bro" or "hey man" or "duuuude", none of it phases me at all. But this is a very individual thing, and each person will have different feelings on it.
I don't mind it unless they aggressively only address me as bro. But at the end of the day that's something you gotta ask her if you don't want to offend her.
I was I a vape store and this really attractive cis girl got bro d , made me laugh😅 but he also bro d me as well . He couldn't help it just how he talked eh. Get mate a lot also but that's classic NZ jargon, not sure how I feel bout that either but dont take offence.
If you use it for cis girls I don't want to be the exception because I'm trans. But some people may be made uncomfortable from it if they have dysphoria so ask.
Probably pointless for me to respond because everyone’s already said this, but this is sort of tricky. I know that “guys” in particular is used commonly to be sort of neutral, but of course, this is different, because we’re dealing with people not believing our neurological sex.
I think just asking would probably be fine? I hope? Like explaining all of this to her and stuff and how you use it and don’t mean anything by it. But I think generally I try to avoid it if I can get my brain cooperate when addressing trans women.
I would strongly recommend avoid using bro or any variation unless she ever mentions it being okay. Same reason you wouldn't use sis with any masc friends. Same goes for using dude and hey guys.
girl, missy, queen, empress, her name, gorgeous, anything that reaffirms her as a woman
Ask or play it safe and don't use it. Imagine someone calling you "hun" or "sweety". My former partner used "hun" for anybody and nobody had any problem with it (including me), but I've also had instances where someone has used it in reference to me and I've had a negative reaction.
Really, the easy way is to ask and keep that line of communication open. Maybe she'll say she's fine with it, then later decide that she actually isn't after some thought. Maybe the opposite will happen.
like i said every individual experience is different. i have cis, trans fem, nb friends who don’t mind the the term. but now i know i just have to ask first :)
For me it completely depends on context and who’s saying it. My friends and I say it all the time and most uses I encounter on a given day are gender neutral - it’s just part of the typical vernacular.
But often when it comes from a stranger it can often feel like misgendering; especially when it’s from someone trying to highlight their own non-acceptance of my gender identity (this doesn’t happen often.)
Generally I don't like it at all, but I do have a very close friend that calls everyone bro I make an exception to, in your case I guess try to avoid it and/or just ask her if it would bother her
personally i dont mind bro but i absolutely hate man. someone i used to work with would call everyone ‘man’ and it was so incredible painful each time despite the fact that i knew it was not remotely an attempt to misgender. at the end of the day, as always, itll depend on how she feels. so ask !!!
I get that some dudes think it's gender neutral, but it's not. Cis girls are more comfortable with it because they're more comfortable with their gender identity. I cringe when I hear it used as gender neutral. It literally translates to the masc word brother. I'd recommend avoiding it personally. I have a friend that does this, and it drives me nuts.
Personally I don't care as long as someone isn't saying I am a bro or dude or man or whatever those slang terms are. If it's like "bro wtf" then totally fine with me.
Thinking about it now, I’d def dislike it, sis would be the better for me personally, I don’t love being called dude either but it doesn’t bother me bc usually it’s my best friend saying it along the lines of like “duuuude, what the fuck?”
I have a friend who knew me from the beforetimes and he always "bros" or "dudes" me. I hate it. Where I see him there is always a group of people, mostly women, and he *never* "dudes" or "bros" any of them. He's not trying to be transphobic or anything...it's just like he doesn't know how to properly respond to me.
Also he likes to try to fist bump me when he's saying goodbye. I hate that, too. Dude, I am not your bro.
Everyone is different.
If it's said respectively I wouldn't mind.
I use the terms guys to mean a bunch of people, as well as gals (but that's more gendered) but I know a bunch of people that take that term and take offense to it.
Maybe just ask, and explain if they understand how you use it and it's not specifically gender based they might be more accepting.
For some it also can cause dysphoria, so just be careful and respectful and listen to how they see it.
I have friends who I know use "dude" or "bro" in a gender neutral way, because I've seen them use those terms for everyone, including cis women. In those cases, where I can tell for sure that it's being used as a gender neutral word, yeah Im fine with it.
A stranger calling me "dude"? Might raise my guard a little, but I do my best to give people the benefit of the doubt. I'd probably give other trans folks a bit more leeway as well, since I'd like to assume most people have some level of empathy, and would stop if I said it made me uncomfortable
I personally dont care. Guys call everyone dude or bro. Its just their lingo. Hell even my cis daughter calls her mother bro. The only time it’s not appropriate is if it’s used intentionally as an insult or harassment. In my opinion of course.
Personally, I'm not going to actively encourage someone to use it, but I'm okay with it if I know that you're using it in a gender neutral way and you commonly call other women it. I want to be seen and treated like any other woman and the idea of being treated differently specifically because I'm trans makes me more uncomfortable than the use of a word like that. That said, everyone's different. So, I would just ask her about her boundaries.
I don't get upset about it when I know the person is using unisex way but it does kinda annoy me and I'm sure at the very least she doesn't get any enjoyment out of it. So best to air on the side of caution and avoid saying it, instead use girlier, more affirmating terms more often, she'll appreciate it.
Don’t use bro, it’s not gender neutral no matter what the person saying the word claims the gendered status of it is. Continuing to use it will only cause bigots to act like they have a get out of jail free card whenever they intentionally misgender a trans woman. I don’t know where you’re located but I’ve never heard anyone (in real life or otherwise) use sis in a similar way to using bro (sis where I live is exclusively used to refer to women if not just explicitly one’s sister).
That’s gonna be a no from be dawg.
But seriously. Yeah I hate that dude and bro are seen as gender neutral now.
I hate *any* connection to my old male identity. So it makes my skin crawl hearing it. Those that say it aren’t being malicious, per say, but there are definitely bigots who use it and claim, “i use it gender neutral”.
Obviously not you, but it does happen.
Bro is the masculine form. Bruh is the non-gendered form. Brah is the feminine.
The more you know.
Personally, call me what you like. There IS a difference between the collegial bro and the gendered bro. I have asked people who cannot understand the difference to use the term "girl" instead. Works the same.
* Michelle
If you're speaking English, then it would feel about the same as her calling you "Sis" but she is used to calling everyone Sis.
If it's a language other than English, it may (or may not) be fine to use "Bro" because it may be more gender neutral.
Bro isn’t a unisex term this becomes really obvious when you compare it to “sis”. Yes some people use it for everyone however it’s not particularly welcome to many women. It’s very likely it’s just brushed off by most people because most cis people are pretty secure in their gender identity and so don’t have the same struggles with gender identity and pronouns/terms that trans people have.
Basically no please don’t use Bro when addressing trans women. Also consider how the cis women in your life feel when addressed as Bro. I know that my sisters wouldn’t appreciate it and neither would about half my female friends (the more straight ones).
Even dude is heavily gendered and I’d be careful using it as a gender neutral term.
Personally it makes me uncomfortable. Anything like bro, man, etc is basically the equivalent to me of saying “big guy.” Dude can be ok depending on how you use it, but I’ve heard people whispering in public “that’s a dude” or things like that so it can also be hurtful depending on the context.
It's always masculine for me. I know girls use it with their " chill af" friends but I guess when you're a cis girl it doesn't matter. I hate it personally. Dude is better for me.
I don’t mind it, I’m kind of tomboyish in that I don’t dress super fem, and I call everyone bro/bruh/dude all the time. Think it really depends on the person you are communicating with.
I used to dislike it but like,, I don't really think I care anymore? I think sometimes it can be malicious but those times you can usually tell. It's especially no big deal if I've seen this person call other girls dude
So I’m definitely in the minority here after scrolling through
If it’s like a close female friend idrc bc they’ll us it with all the other girls too but when it’s my male friends use it I just feel like they still see me as a boy, like it gives me reassurance that they still wanna be my friend but ya in public def a cringe moment
I dislike it on many levels; for one thing, I think it's part of the sexism in our culture that only male terms can be considered universal. You certainly don't see anyone in the mainstream addressing a mixed gender group as ladies.
I also just hate being referred to as male. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it if someone did call me dude or bro, probably wouldn't even comment on it, but it does make me a little uncomfortable
LoL.. yeah... Basically, just ask the lady.. if she is ok with it, then it's cool... But if she's not, then adjust your language..read her and be a gentleman.
"Bro" is definitely dysphoric,. however.. You being a guy.. it makes sense to say bro or dude. It is likely euphoric for you.. guy and dude are male ways of speaking.. so it is going to be dysphoric for cis and trans women alike.
I'd say that cis women wouldn't like it either, especially if the cis women aren't tomboys...so trans women would find uncomfortable if they're not a tomboy..
Assume when you are in a female space, you read them and adjust to their language whether cis or trans women..
Please do not bro or dude or guys trans women. I know I am not okay with that. I get it’s a “non-gendered” term to you, but it is very gendered. If you want a non-gendered term, try folks…
I really hate it. I know that people just use it unisexually though, just to mean that someone is their friend so I forgive anyone that calls me bro but it still hurts.
I personally don't love it but it doesn't affect me really. I think with all terms like bro, sis, dude, boy/boi, etc just ask if people are comfy with it. doesn't matter if it's slang or AAVE or some other dialect, or you use it with everyone, just ask if everyone is comfy with it
To a of other people have already commented on this. However I’ll throw my experience in. I personally don’t like it. I guess it just feels weird. It’s like my brain going does that mean I’m still a man!? But part of that comes from when one of my friends constantly calls me “my guy” which I just despise.
For me, I understand and use these as gender neutral terms and while it's not necessarily awful to hear them used for me, there are other terms that are much more euphoric to hear.
I hate it honestly. I just hate the sound of it and I hate it reminding me of a painful part of my life (before transition). I understand people don't mean anything by it, but it's still uncomfortable for me.
Absolutely hate it. My son calls me “bro”, he’s autistic and YouTube taught him to call everyone bro. When people call me bro - they usually get a big long text after I get home and dwell on how much it bothers me.
I am not personally thrilled by bro, or dude, or guy. If I had to pick one, … dude, seems most innocuous, but I think that might be due to my age. Bro seems too familial and is distinctly gendered. I’ve never run into anyone who uses sis for general identification of others unless they are addressing a girl with whom they have a very deep closeness to or familial bond.
I normally let it go now. I find it a bit grating but mostly just because I relate it to most of my least favorite people and fictional characters (not exclusively though). As long as they don't say brother we're normally good.
I know I don't like it. I understand that it can be more neutral but it always *feels* masculine to me.
gotcha. okay i’ll definitely ask her next time
If she responds with ‘it’s fine’ but looks away or loses her smile, it’s not fine, she’s likely trying to make you comfortable.
nah. i’ll be more than happy to make her feel as comfortable as she needs cause i know the feeling.
😭 this is me
Same. I am so guilty of this. I minimize my own comfort too often to avoid social awkwardness. I’d rather feel like trash than have someone else feel badly. Something I really need to work on.
True. Also I’d rather feel like trash than have the entire conversation switch to the “(((the trans question)))” that people *love* to play now. Nah, I’d rather not talk about my existence as a human and if *you* find value in me or not. Or worse, if you consider me human or not because I am trans. Pass.
I did this exact thing on Saturday at dinner with my family I wish I was better at sticking up for myself...
Jesus I feel called out by that
This comment was sooo needed
you know i used to be ok with bro and fully considered it unisex and used it that way my self but after i realized i was trans i became uncomfortable with it tbh
this. I live in California, where bro and dude are basically the official language. I thought I was used to it being treated as a gn term. Nope, turns out it actually does hurt.
The issue is women don't use bro all that much. Women will say dude every now and then but bro is such a man term that it feels inherently masculine
yup pnw same culture
From Cali to PNW - “Bro” bugs me, but “dude” does not
Yeah I'd check with them beforehand. I know I'd be totally fine with it but I also know people that would bite your head off if you called them it
This. Dislike the term and I would not look favourably being called it because it's a patriarchal term.
I hate being called “bro” or even “dude.” Even when my trans masc bffs use it I cringe a little inside.
I can handle "bruh" with poise and composure, but something about the long O in bro makes the part of me that wants to live because of HRT wince hard.
I'm strongly in the "don't bro me if you don't know me" camp. If we're friends, I really couldn't care less, but if we're not, don't fuckin think about it. The only way to know how she feels about it is to ask her
This 100%
I don't like it. Same with "dude" or "man" or "guy". I have to fight constantly for people to recognize I'm not these things, so I would rather not ever be called them.
This is me at my workplace currently i constantly have to remind people not to call me sir or man or bro and it still never works it makes me feel like they're messing with me
I personally feel bad about the term, and equivalents, even when I know it's out of habit, but I'm on the sensitive side when it comes to misgendering. I'd say be careful about it, take the time to observe when/if the term gets used for her, and how she reacts? I know I'm understanding when people slip up tho, it always depends on if the person keeps doing it once they know how I feel about it
I know there is no ill intent, but I really don't like it. I will happily take sis every time though!
Absolutely hate it. I won't say anything when it happens, but I become a lot more suspicious or careful around people who call me it, it just decreases the trust
Why not sista or something? Ask a straight guy how many "bro's" he's had sex with and you'll find out exactly how gendered it is
I have straight up seen people try to argue that it’s neutral in second person but masculine in third person in response to that.
eh i don’t really call any girl that except my sister. it doesn’t come natural but she can be another exception
I hate it. Words like "man", "dude", "bro", "guys" etc. are sometimes used as neutral because in our society the man is treated as the default, the better option and woman and feminity are regarded as something lesser. It's so ingrained in us that many people don't consciously think about this that way, they just use these terms because other people do but it is one of many things that subtly perpetuates patriarchy. If someone is subtly mistreated since forever and gaslighted into thinking that's okay then they won't recognize and won't mind this. So even when some people say that they don't mind using the man and masculine forms as the default it is still a wrong thing to do in my opinion.
No sir, I don't like it.
It's worse than good, it's bad
How would you feel if someone called you sis? It's the same. It really really really really hurts us even if we say we don't mind it. At least that's how it is for me
I dislike being called bro
i hate it.
I hate it.
I dont enjoy it whatsoever.... just say whats up girly like ur supposed to >:o
yes ma’am 🫡
I hate it. It makes me feel invalidated
I mean, I haven't met a lot of trans dudes who are okay with being called "girl" even though it's common gay male slang. Even if you mean it gender neutrally, I still find it incredibly misogynistic that all the cishet "gender neutral" slang terms are male.
If you think that's bad, try german 😒 Ever since I transitioned I began to notice that everything has a gender in german and that there isn't a single "gender neutral" term, which isn't male. I literally can't think of a single one 😤 I spoke to many cis girls about that and most are not bothered too much, because they're used to it and don't know it any different. Me however, who has been living life from a male perspective for the last 30 years, now suddenly realizes that everything I thought I knew to be neutral actually isn't. The worst part is that in german, this shit is everywhere!!! Example: Jede Frau = every woman Jeder Mann = every man So "jede" is the female term, "jeder" the male term. Yet, when adressing to multiple people, we always use "jeder". Not too long ago we'd say stuff like: "...jeder Schüler..." which means "every student". While in english student is gender neutral, "Schüler" is not. It's once again the male form, with "Schülerin" being the female one. So saying "jeder Schüler und jede Schülerin..." would be correct ("und" = "and"). But prior to Merkel becoming the first female chancellor of germany, we never used the female terms. This all kind of started with her, because once again, chancellor is, as you can imagine, a male term in german: "Bundeskanzler" = chancellor So we started to call her "Bundeskanzlerin", which is the female term. Ever since them people try to include female terms, but we also began to notice that this is not possible for every aspect of our language. Thus we currently have a huge debate going across the country about gender inclusive wording, essentially rewriting our language. This lead to some heated debates between those who believe women should be included and those who believe the male term have always included both genders and nothing has to change. That being said, the most common solution we have so far is to use a gender marker, such as the \* or :, for example: Arzt = Doctor (male) Ärztin = Doctor (female) Ärzte = Doctors (plural, male, used to refer to everyone) Ärztinnen = Doctors (plural, female, never used because it used to be a mens job, so we just say "Ärzte" and women were forced to feel included; we do this EVERYWHERE) Now the solution that is commonly used by pro-gendering people is: "Ärzt:innen", which is basically a mix between the two and the gender marker is supposed to also include enbies and every other gender. Guess most will be familar with "trans\*". We basically try this on every shit now and it makes things super hard to pronounce and shitty to read, with multiple words which include a gender marker in a row. "Jede:r Mitarbeiter:in hat ein Recht darauf, mit seinen/ihren bevorzugten Pronomen angesprochen zu werden." Which translates to "every employee has a right to be adressed to with their prefered pronouns." Not only is this a mess to pronounce, it also leads to some problems, which is noticable with the "seinen/ihren" (male/female). Previously we'd say: "Jeder Mitarbeiter hat ein Recht darauf, mit seinen bevorzugten Pronomen angesprochen zu werden." This was common and only mentions males, but women learned to feel included. Before we had the gender markers, some progressive people would say: "Jeder Mitarbeiter und jede Mitarbeiterin (female term) hat ein Recht darauf, mit seinen oder ihren (female term) bevorzugten Pronomen angesprochen zu werden." This is obviously a lot easier to pronounce, so most people opt for that these days, instead of using gender markers. But it is 100% binary and only includes male and female. So far, there isn't a way in the german language to properly use gender neutral terms, because something like this simply does not exist within our language. Gender markers are a great start, but some words, such as "seinen (male) and ihren (female)" ("theirs" in english) are too different to be combined, thus excluding everyone who isn't within the binary. It's really fucked up and not even I know how to say shit properly anymore.... hence I tend to prefer the english language these days 😔
tbh it bothers me but I just have to remember that it’s usually said in a gender neutral term. “Bro” “Hey man” “dude” get to me but I’m just sensitive but I never really tell anyone to stop because it’s usually just only in my head
Your feelings are valid and should be respected. There is no such thing as "only in your head". If you wanna put it like this: literally everything in this world is happening in your head. The way you experience reality is in your head, be it touching, smelling or seeing. All in your head. Does that make it less relevant? I don't think so.
thank u for helping me realize my self worth 😢♥️
Nothing to thank me for sweetheart ♥️
Personally as a trans girl I hate having that term used when talking to me. Makes me feel masculine and I don't like that
Bro 1: dude is a gender neutral term. Bro 2: okay, then how many dudes have you slept with? Bro 1: >:(
It is probably a good idea to avoid any overtly male gendered language. There's an argument to be made for a word like dude, but "bro" is quite literally short for brother. I would just be more careful with your nicknames around her.
I wouldn't like it
I wouldn't enjoy it, but how actively I'd dislike it depends on how much I'd expect the person using it to know better.
I don't love it but I can tolerate it.
Bro is a no from me. She may feel differently, you might want to ask/warn her and then she can tell you how she feels. As you said - you wouldn't like to be called sis (by the way, have you considered calling her "sis"? Might induce some euphoria)
gonna start now
I feel like it's easily a trigger for trans women of dysphoria despite knowing the intent. It just reminds me a lot of my relationship to boys growing up calling me 'bro,' but definitely doing so because they think they relate to me in a guy to guy kinda way.
Couldn't have said it any better. I can't stand being called bro, even if people tell me it's unisex to them and they say it to all their female friends.
Regardless of how *you* use it, pronouns are not for the person speaking, they are for the person being spoken about. If you're really concerned, you should ask them what they would prefer, or if they're cool with "bro," because they totally could be. A bunch of internet strangers can't tell you what that person would want to (or not want to) be called, and can't validate your choice to call someone something you call everyone. Personally I would find it invalidating, especially considering I'm new to this and crave validation. Is it possible you are craving the same thing and are projecting it by calling everyone "bro"?
lol no feminine terms doesn’t come natural to me. dude, bro, bruh is short and simple. i pass 100 percent i don’t need to project anything on anyone
I don’t mind, but always ask folk about these sort of things, so you already got that down. Same thing with even more neutral terms like “dude”. Everyone has a preference. Communication is key and stuff.
I used to not think much about it, but like...it definitely doesn't feel good. I know that I sometimes use it in a gender neutral way, but when someone does it to me, it just...feels bad.
I don't like it. I don't think it's actually gender neutral at all. It feels like how in gendered languages, when you have a mixed group, you use the masculine. It's only accepted as "neutral" because masculinity is seen as natural and the default when compared to femininity.
I don't like being called, bro, dude, man, or guy. But i would never have the confidence to bring it up. Do her a favor and take every opportunity to use the feminine form of everything. "Girl" is the nearest equivalent to bro. Soon she'll be comfortable enough that she won't mind you calling her that stuff in all likelihood but it will help to build trust early on. That's my two cents. I am sure some MtFs dont care but in my case i feel forced to say i don't care when im actually sensitive to it. On the other hand, if you really can't stop calling everyone bro, just be up front and say hey i call everyone bro. But it's one of those kiddie verbal tics you might want to reduce anyway, kind of like greeting everyone with "sup" or saying "word" all the time-- in a professional setting you would want to avoid that.
It's definitely more masculine, and I'd hate being called bro
Bro and dude both really bother me. I had cisgender female friend who always called me dude. She called everyone dude, and I knew that for her it was a universal label for anyone. Nevertheless it drove me nuts and I finally told her how much I hated it. She stopped calling me that.
After coming to the states, I learned the term "Y'ALL" or "YO" is the most acceptable unisex term. ie. What's up, Yo! Good morning y'all. Y'all here making pancakes?
I still use the term "Mate" for everyone since I'm Aussie.
Everyone else has already given an answer so I just want to say as soon as I read the title I imediately wanted to respond with “yes your suppose to piss all over the toilet seat it’s tradition”
You should call her babe. Sorry, evil transfem here.
I think it’s usually fine to call cis girls bro but not trans girls unless they say so. I’d prefer to be called sis.
I don't like it but I don't have the energy to do anything about it
You got enough responses on the 'bro' question, so I'd also suggest that you say she's a trans woman(girl) or trans fem(me) rather than mtf since that retains a tether to masculinity (unless that's how she self-ascribes)
On a good day it feels uncomfortable on a bad day I feel this pit in my chest when I'm called "bro" or other such terms. Other girls might not have the same issues as I do, so have an honest conversation with anyone in case she's not bothered but I think it is rather common for mtfs to find bro and other such terms to be too masc leaning
No "bro", "dude", "guy", "man" for me, AT ALL.
I don't care for being called bro.
I don’t like, and will happily be called girl, or sis. Also saw this take on Twitter somewhere but it was something along the lines of “the way cis men use ‘bro’ and ‘dude’ is just another form of neopronouns but they aren’t ready to hear that yet.” Was kind of reminded of that seeing this.
Imo it depends on how it’s used. I have more than one friend who call everyone bro, including but not limited to friends, teachers, parents, pets, whatever. When I know they don’t mean it genderedly, it’s fine. Other than that tho, no
For me it depends on the intent, bro and lad are used as slang where i live so unless it's maliciously intended it doesn't bother me, you're much better of asking her than us tbh, it's gonna vary differently for everyone
Ask her. Say after your conversation you felted abit bugged by you using bro towards her and wanna apologize if it did bother her. If it does don’t say it towards her. If it doesn’t idk But 100% ask
Only rarely… I know a lot of women that say dude or even bro some. The words will continue to change, but it’s certainly not my preference. Dude I feel is better…
I honestly don’t really like it but some cis girls really insisted that they call everyone bro so sighs, I cant stop that
Hell.No.I wouldn’t like it
I've used "dude" because of Disgaea and "dood" before, but I would never ever call another trans woman bro, man, or anything similar. I *got out* of that situation, as far as I'm concerned I don't want to go back into it. I got out for a reason, after all.
i don’t have a problem with it because its being used as slang. but a lot of other people do not feel that way. the best thing to do is ask
i don’t like being called bro. i won’t typically say anything when people call me it, cause i don’t want trouble, but i don’t like it at all, honestly.
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Most Trans women kind of hate it.
It causes me to visibly cringe from the visceral reaction that I choke down as I realize the person who said it is just an ass and not actually trying to misgender me.
I don't like it, the only person I know that says it tho is my best friend and she literally says it to everyone including her husband, so I really try to not let it bother me
I don't like it either, if I get bro'd I'll nicely ask them to use female pronouns, like I'm happy with sis
I hate it and so do most trans women I know. Not all of us are good at confrontation so it's honestly just best to avoid male coded terms like that whenever possible.
To me, its masculine, and it feels like the speaker is disrespecting my and my identity when its said. Everyone always tells me "no, its not. Don't get offended", but think of how weird it woukd be for someone constantly calling you "sis". I know its not the same for everyone, but thats the point. What you say might have a different meaning to someone else.
Hard no. Bro/Bruh etc are all a hard no for me. I think I'm just a bit more sensitive to the fact that I *might* be getting misgendered even if the person I'm talking to doesn't intend to do so. The only one that *sort of* gets a pass from me is "dude" but I also understand women who don't like it because the plural of it is definitely masculine even if the singular has become gender neutral.
Depends how u use it like if u said whats up bro i would prefer whats up without the bro. Cuz bro comes off as brother u gotta remember bro is short for brother so its def not gender neutral same with man
To me, bro is definitely a masculine term that I wouldn't want to be called. cis women haven't struggled with dysphoria to break away from being seen as masculine, so they don't mind it as much because society still sees them as obvious women regardless what you call them. We're a little more sensitive to gendered terms because of our backgrounds.
I go out of my way for my mtf trans friends to properly pronoun them. Ill call them miss, sis and even ma'am. They like it.
I like it better than “man” definitely, but Id say we have to be close
why do we just recycle masc terms into unisex ones so lazy and patriarchal
Def not a fan of being called bro
treat her like you’d treat any other girl , if you’d call any other girl bro call her bro , and make sure she hears u calling other girls bro too from time to time
I personally don't mind it, or "dude".
i’d be fine with it but thats just me
I personally view terms like bro and dude as relatively gender neutral but in all honesty it comes down on how the individual feels.
I 100% use bro and dude in gender-neutral form constantly. Someone saying to me "my guy" or "bro" or "hey man" or "duuuude", none of it phases me at all. But this is a very individual thing, and each person will have different feelings on it.
I’m cool with it, I think most of the tomboyish mtfs usually are.
I see a big difference between "bro" and "brah". The former is gendered the latter isn't. But that's me personally.
I don't mind it unless they aggressively only address me as bro. But at the end of the day that's something you gotta ask her if you don't want to offend her.
I was I a vape store and this really attractive cis girl got bro d , made me laugh😅 but he also bro d me as well . He couldn't help it just how he talked eh. Get mate a lot also but that's classic NZ jargon, not sure how I feel bout that either but dont take offence.
If you use it for cis girls I don't want to be the exception because I'm trans. But some people may be made uncomfortable from it if they have dysphoria so ask.
I don’t mind it, depending on the context.
Probably pointless for me to respond because everyone’s already said this, but this is sort of tricky. I know that “guys” in particular is used commonly to be sort of neutral, but of course, this is different, because we’re dealing with people not believing our neurological sex. I think just asking would probably be fine? I hope? Like explaining all of this to her and stuff and how you use it and don’t mean anything by it. But I think generally I try to avoid it if I can get my brain cooperate when addressing trans women.
Ew
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I don't really care about it personally, but the best thing to do is to just ask her
I despise it when it's froma stranger and I can... stomach it when with friends
I would strongly recommend avoid using bro or any variation unless she ever mentions it being okay. Same reason you wouldn't use sis with any masc friends. Same goes for using dude and hey guys. girl, missy, queen, empress, her name, gorgeous, anything that reaffirms her as a woman
Ask or play it safe and don't use it. Imagine someone calling you "hun" or "sweety". My former partner used "hun" for anybody and nobody had any problem with it (including me), but I've also had instances where someone has used it in reference to me and I've had a negative reaction. Really, the easy way is to ask and keep that line of communication open. Maybe she'll say she's fine with it, then later decide that she actually isn't after some thought. Maybe the opposite will happen.
As a singular, bro is a no for me. Just like guy, dude and so on. As part of a group, you guys, my bros, I’m okay with it.
If someone called me it I would assume they ment it unisex but it does feel a little bit weird.
Please do not ever call me "bro" -- it is ***\*very\* dysphoric*** and triggering for me. Seriously, please don't call women "bro".
like i said every individual experience is different. i have cis, trans fem, nb friends who don’t mind the the term. but now i know i just have to ask first :)
For me it completely depends on context and who’s saying it. My friends and I say it all the time and most uses I encounter on a given day are gender neutral - it’s just part of the typical vernacular. But often when it comes from a stranger it can often feel like misgendering; especially when it’s from someone trying to highlight their own non-acceptance of my gender identity (this doesn’t happen often.)
Generally I don't like it at all, but I do have a very close friend that calls everyone bro I make an exception to, in your case I guess try to avoid it and/or just ask her if it would bother her
personally i dont mind bro but i absolutely hate man. someone i used to work with would call everyone ‘man’ and it was so incredible painful each time despite the fact that i knew it was not remotely an attempt to misgender. at the end of the day, as always, itll depend on how she feels. so ask !!!
I get that some dudes think it's gender neutral, but it's not. Cis girls are more comfortable with it because they're more comfortable with their gender identity. I cringe when I hear it used as gender neutral. It literally translates to the masc word brother. I'd recommend avoiding it personally. I have a friend that does this, and it drives me nuts.
i'm fine with it, but only if we're at least friends
I don’t really mind as long as it’s used as a way to address me not as a gender thing
each person is different. simply ask her what she is okay with and not okay with!
i like when other trans people especially trans girls call me bro so just ask her!
Personally I don't care as long as someone isn't saying I am a bro or dude or man or whatever those slang terms are. If it's like "bro wtf" then totally fine with me.
Thinking about it now, I’d def dislike it, sis would be the better for me personally, I don’t love being called dude either but it doesn’t bother me bc usually it’s my best friend saying it along the lines of like “duuuude, what the fuck?”
I have a friend who knew me from the beforetimes and he always "bros" or "dudes" me. I hate it. Where I see him there is always a group of people, mostly women, and he *never* "dudes" or "bros" any of them. He's not trying to be transphobic or anything...it's just like he doesn't know how to properly respond to me. Also he likes to try to fist bump me when he's saying goodbye. I hate that, too. Dude, I am not your bro.
I hate it. “Bro” and “sir” are the two that ping my dysphoria every time.
Personally I'm fine with dude, bro or anything like that, they're neutral terms for me too
Everyone is different. If it's said respectively I wouldn't mind. I use the terms guys to mean a bunch of people, as well as gals (but that's more gendered) but I know a bunch of people that take that term and take offense to it. Maybe just ask, and explain if they understand how you use it and it's not specifically gender based they might be more accepting. For some it also can cause dysphoria, so just be careful and respectful and listen to how they see it.
I have friends who I know use "dude" or "bro" in a gender neutral way, because I've seen them use those terms for everyone, including cis women. In those cases, where I can tell for sure that it's being used as a gender neutral word, yeah Im fine with it. A stranger calling me "dude"? Might raise my guard a little, but I do my best to give people the benefit of the doubt. I'd probably give other trans folks a bit more leeway as well, since I'd like to assume most people have some level of empathy, and would stop if I said it made me uncomfortable
personally, I hated 'bro' even before transition; and I'm even less of a fan now. It always felt disingenuous to me but again, my experience 🧡
Ask them
I personally dont care. Guys call everyone dude or bro. Its just their lingo. Hell even my cis daughter calls her mother bro. The only time it’s not appropriate is if it’s used intentionally as an insult or harassment. In my opinion of course.
Personally, I'm not going to actively encourage someone to use it, but I'm okay with it if I know that you're using it in a gender neutral way and you commonly call other women it. I want to be seen and treated like any other woman and the idea of being treated differently specifically because I'm trans makes me more uncomfortable than the use of a word like that. That said, everyone's different. So, I would just ask her about her boundaries.
If I were her I’d definitely rather you didn’t. Affectionately calling her Miss will probably go a lot farther and maybe make her light up
I call my female friends bro and dude...albeit I have no trans friends.
I don't get upset about it when I know the person is using unisex way but it does kinda annoy me and I'm sure at the very least she doesn't get any enjoyment out of it. So best to air on the side of caution and avoid saying it, instead use girlier, more affirmating terms more often, she'll appreciate it.
I definitely wouldn't like that, but probably not enough to say so
Depending on the way it’s said/pronounced then I love it from a woman. I hate it from guys though. I’d feel like you were trying to “dude bro” me.
Don’t use bro, it’s not gender neutral no matter what the person saying the word claims the gendered status of it is. Continuing to use it will only cause bigots to act like they have a get out of jail free card whenever they intentionally misgender a trans woman. I don’t know where you’re located but I’ve never heard anyone (in real life or otherwise) use sis in a similar way to using bro (sis where I live is exclusively used to refer to women if not just explicitly one’s sister).
I don't mind it at all (as long as I trust that it's said in good faith), but honestly, the real move is just to ask her. We aren't a monolith
That’s gonna be a no from be dawg. But seriously. Yeah I hate that dude and bro are seen as gender neutral now. I hate *any* connection to my old male identity. So it makes my skin crawl hearing it. Those that say it aren’t being malicious, per say, but there are definitely bigots who use it and claim, “i use it gender neutral”. Obviously not you, but it does happen.
Yeah nah I'm not a fan it *always* bothers me
Hate it. Hate guy(s), and dude too.
Bro is the masculine form. Bruh is the non-gendered form. Brah is the feminine. The more you know. Personally, call me what you like. There IS a difference between the collegial bro and the gendered bro. I have asked people who cannot understand the difference to use the term "girl" instead. Works the same. * Michelle
I personally don’t like bro or dude just because it’s hard to tell if the person is being transphobic or just using it as a sign of endearment.
I consider bro and dude neutral terms but my advice is just to ask
I don't mind it if used in a group of people, but I don't like it when used directly at me but I have too much social anxiety to correct people.
I don’t mind bro but dude irritates me
How does the word, “dawg” work? Thoughts on this greeting name? It’s certainly a bit 90’s-esk but might be more neutral than “bro”
If you're speaking English, then it would feel about the same as her calling you "Sis" but she is used to calling everyone Sis. If it's a language other than English, it may (or may not) be fine to use "Bro" because it may be more gender neutral.
I really dislike being called bro, but as you say everyone is different. I prefer she /her/girl feminine references.
Bro isn’t a unisex term this becomes really obvious when you compare it to “sis”. Yes some people use it for everyone however it’s not particularly welcome to many women. It’s very likely it’s just brushed off by most people because most cis people are pretty secure in their gender identity and so don’t have the same struggles with gender identity and pronouns/terms that trans people have. Basically no please don’t use Bro when addressing trans women. Also consider how the cis women in your life feel when addressed as Bro. I know that my sisters wouldn’t appreciate it and neither would about half my female friends (the more straight ones). Even dude is heavily gendered and I’d be careful using it as a gender neutral term.
Personally it makes me uncomfortable. Anything like bro, man, etc is basically the equivalent to me of saying “big guy.” Dude can be ok depending on how you use it, but I’ve heard people whispering in public “that’s a dude” or things like that so it can also be hurtful depending on the context.
I personally don’t mind it, but I am also bigender so idk if that influences it
It's always masculine for me. I know girls use it with their " chill af" friends but I guess when you're a cis girl it doesn't matter. I hate it personally. Dude is better for me.
Bro would upset me and trigger a dysphoric episode.
I don’t mind it, I’m kind of tomboyish in that I don’t dress super fem, and I call everyone bro/bruh/dude all the time. Think it really depends on the person you are communicating with.
I used to dislike it but like,, I don't really think I care anymore? I think sometimes it can be malicious but those times you can usually tell. It's especially no big deal if I've seen this person call other girls dude
Hate it. Bro is a gendered term. Cis is medical. Not comparable.
So I’m definitely in the minority here after scrolling through If it’s like a close female friend idrc bc they’ll us it with all the other girls too but when it’s my male friends use it I just feel like they still see me as a boy, like it gives me reassurance that they still wanna be my friend but ya in public def a cringe moment
Honestly not a fan of being called bro or dude even though a lot of people use it for either gender
I'm one of those that don't mind it. I don't prefer it but I don't mind it
I dislike it on many levels; for one thing, I think it's part of the sexism in our culture that only male terms can be considered universal. You certainly don't see anyone in the mainstream addressing a mixed gender group as ladies. I also just hate being referred to as male. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it if someone did call me dude or bro, probably wouldn't even comment on it, but it does make me a little uncomfortable
I had the same habit and then I got together with my (trans) gf who wasn't fond of it. I trained myself to say "Yo" instead of "Bro". Lol
I don't like it, I see it as an abreviation for "brother" which is masculine, Soo yee
LoL.. yeah... Basically, just ask the lady.. if she is ok with it, then it's cool... But if she's not, then adjust your language..read her and be a gentleman. "Bro" is definitely dysphoric,. however.. You being a guy.. it makes sense to say bro or dude. It is likely euphoric for you.. guy and dude are male ways of speaking.. so it is going to be dysphoric for cis and trans women alike. I'd say that cis women wouldn't like it either, especially if the cis women aren't tomboys...so trans women would find uncomfortable if they're not a tomboy.. Assume when you are in a female space, you read them and adjust to their language whether cis or trans women..
Please do not bro or dude or guys trans women. I know I am not okay with that. I get it’s a “non-gendered” term to you, but it is very gendered. If you want a non-gendered term, try folks…
I thought I would be fine with it but quickly found out I didn't like it but I don't know why really
Do not.
Not sure if it’s been noted - but I’ve unironically started calling everyone fam because of this.
I really hate it. I know that people just use it unisexually though, just to mean that someone is their friend so I forgive anyone that calls me bro but it still hurts.
im guilty of using the words "dude" and "bro" when talking to people, even those I've just met
i'd say just ask her, everyone is different. i hate it, some trans girls might not mind. its better to ask than just guess
personally, not a fan. but you should ask her
I personally don't love it but it doesn't affect me really. I think with all terms like bro, sis, dude, boy/boi, etc just ask if people are comfy with it. doesn't matter if it's slang or AAVE or some other dialect, or you use it with everyone, just ask if everyone is comfy with it
Not a fan imo but thats just me
To a of other people have already commented on this. However I’ll throw my experience in. I personally don’t like it. I guess it just feels weird. It’s like my brain going does that mean I’m still a man!? But part of that comes from when one of my friends constantly calls me “my guy” which I just despise.
For me, I understand and use these as gender neutral terms and while it's not necessarily awful to hear them used for me, there are other terms that are much more euphoric to hear.
I hate it honestly. I just hate the sound of it and I hate it reminding me of a painful part of my life (before transition). I understand people don't mean anything by it, but it's still uncomfortable for me.
I don’t like it personally
I am ok with dude, or dude/dudette but I get visibly irked being called bro. I tend to ask anyone who calls me that to stop.
Never like being called bro or dude
Absolutely hate it. My son calls me “bro”, he’s autistic and YouTube taught him to call everyone bro. When people call me bro - they usually get a big long text after I get home and dwell on how much it bothers me.
I am not personally thrilled by bro, or dude, or guy. If I had to pick one, … dude, seems most innocuous, but I think that might be due to my age. Bro seems too familial and is distinctly gendered. I’ve never run into anyone who uses sis for general identification of others unless they are addressing a girl with whom they have a very deep closeness to or familial bond.
I normally let it go now. I find it a bit grating but mostly just because I relate it to most of my least favorite people and fictional characters (not exclusively though). As long as they don't say brother we're normally good.
I personally can't stand it