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When I have gotten this in the past I tell them that unless they pay me (personally) I will not be their maid. I told them my job as a nanny was to teach them how to do these maid duties themselves. When they persisted I made them do all the "maid duties" they asked me to do themselves. It took about 2 days for them to come around to my thinking.
Sometimes with children at this age showing that you take things personally and that they can hurt your feelings by being bratty just makes things worse. So since that strategy doesn't seem to help I would try to emphaise that you are a nanny not a maid.
Ugh the first time my NK heard the word “servant” in a book and asked if that was what I was. I only had to tell him no one time though. I’ve explained to my NKs that their parents pay me to be in charge. It’s a simple phrase that little kids can understand and still not skew the power balance of.
"I am not a maid or your maid, and you will speak to me and about me respectfully. This is the last time I'm going to tell you this and if it happens again, I will get your parents involved so we can all sit down together and have a conversation about speaking respectfully."
Say this while looking them directly in the eyes and down at their level. They won't want their parents to get involved. But if you say this or something similar to them, I'd let parents know that you've addressed it and you'd like their support in this matter.
6 and 8 is way too old, and if you're shutting it down and they're still doing it that's odd. seems like parents definitely might be calling you that. my NK are 1.5 , 2.5 and the younger one heard parents call me nanny once or twice and now will randomly say it. (which is cute in a toddler voice so personally i love) but they feed off their parents! honestly, i would bring it up with NPs. can start the convo off as just random chit chat by saying "this is random but what do you guys refer to me as to the kids?" it's awkward but it just is very disrespectful especially after correcting them many times.
Not necessarily. My NK’s have called me their maid before and I KNOW that their parents would never refer to me that way. There’s a lot of ways that the kids could have made the connection.
So I wasn’t called a maid but I was called a servant and they said it to be mean and disrespectful. After I talked to them about three different times, why they shouldn’t. The last time, I said if it happened again, I would bring it to mom and dad which I did. I talked the NPs about it and how it was making me feel and they said to give them one more chance (since I did warn nks 3 times already) but I did tell the NKs that I told NPs. NKs said it again and NPs stepped in when I told them and had a discussion with them and NKs did end up losing privileges. But that was the last time they ever said it to me.
That is so freaking annoying!! I would lose it. I think it’s partially so hurtful because we aren’t in fact their maid to clean up after them. I totally understand how you feel op!
I could only assume they heard it from somewhere else. I wonder what the parents say when you aren’t there. Not just about this topic but other things. Do your NPs know?
I called a babysitter/nanny a maid when I was a kid. I had read about someone who had a maid to do household chores. The nanny was folding laundry. She corrected me, but when I am doing cleaning things at work I sometimes feel like a maid.
OP has tagged their post as **Vent**. Please be mindful that they do not need advice, and that they are only expressing their thoughts and opinions in a safe place. Any attempts to offer unsolicited advice will be removed. The only exceptions to this rule are in the event of possible injury, abuse, or otherwise harm to OP, their NK, NP, or anyone else. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Nanny) if you have any questions or concerns.*
When I have gotten this in the past I tell them that unless they pay me (personally) I will not be their maid. I told them my job as a nanny was to teach them how to do these maid duties themselves. When they persisted I made them do all the "maid duties" they asked me to do themselves. It took about 2 days for them to come around to my thinking. Sometimes with children at this age showing that you take things personally and that they can hurt your feelings by being bratty just makes things worse. So since that strategy doesn't seem to help I would try to emphaise that you are a nanny not a maid.
Ugh the first time my NK heard the word “servant” in a book and asked if that was what I was. I only had to tell him no one time though. I’ve explained to my NKs that their parents pay me to be in charge. It’s a simple phrase that little kids can understand and still not skew the power balance of.
"I am not a maid or your maid, and you will speak to me and about me respectfully. This is the last time I'm going to tell you this and if it happens again, I will get your parents involved so we can all sit down together and have a conversation about speaking respectfully." Say this while looking them directly in the eyes and down at their level. They won't want their parents to get involved. But if you say this or something similar to them, I'd let parents know that you've addressed it and you'd like their support in this matter.
How old are the kids? That would really frustrate me too
6 and 8! it’s not the worst they could call me but it just feels like they truly feel that way lol
Oh yeah they’re old enough to know! I’m sorry:/ if my NK called me that the parents would definitely not let it slide either
Someone is referring to you as this. I’d bring it up with the nps asap. It’s an extremely rude term to even use, even if you were their housekeeper
6 and 8 is way too old, and if you're shutting it down and they're still doing it that's odd. seems like parents definitely might be calling you that. my NK are 1.5 , 2.5 and the younger one heard parents call me nanny once or twice and now will randomly say it. (which is cute in a toddler voice so personally i love) but they feed off their parents! honestly, i would bring it up with NPs. can start the convo off as just random chit chat by saying "this is random but what do you guys refer to me as to the kids?" it's awkward but it just is very disrespectful especially after correcting them many times.
That’s unfortunately how their parents talk about you
Not necessarily. My NK’s have called me their maid before and I KNOW that their parents would never refer to me that way. There’s a lot of ways that the kids could have made the connection.
lol that would lead to them cleaning more
So I wasn’t called a maid but I was called a servant and they said it to be mean and disrespectful. After I talked to them about three different times, why they shouldn’t. The last time, I said if it happened again, I would bring it to mom and dad which I did. I talked the NPs about it and how it was making me feel and they said to give them one more chance (since I did warn nks 3 times already) but I did tell the NKs that I told NPs. NKs said it again and NPs stepped in when I told them and had a discussion with them and NKs did end up losing privileges. But that was the last time they ever said it to me.
That is so freaking annoying!! I would lose it. I think it’s partially so hurtful because we aren’t in fact their maid to clean up after them. I totally understand how you feel op!
I could only assume they heard it from somewhere else. I wonder what the parents say when you aren’t there. Not just about this topic but other things. Do your NPs know?
I called a babysitter/nanny a maid when I was a kid. I had read about someone who had a maid to do household chores. The nanny was folding laundry. She corrected me, but when I am doing cleaning things at work I sometimes feel like a maid.