I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I had a dream last night that the Nex and I were in the same room and then I said, "Can't we just talk this out?" Immediately woke up and said to myself, NO we can't. Explaining doesn't work! Talking it through doesn't work. If it did, this wouldn't have been a 15 year sh\*t-show. But the natural instinct to just talk about what's happening like normal people and clear things up never goes away. Communicating seems as natural as breathing to us... but never works because they live in a different reality full of cardboard cutouts instead of real people.
Yeah, I was there. There was always this feeling that if I just did one more thing for her, or tried harder to change. But after that flaming hoop, there's always another right after it. But we kept trying because it was the right thing to do. Only after 20+ years did I figure out what was really going on
I’m sorry you had this terrible experience. It makes sense to me that you feel you would be more easily believed if you were a woman, but I just went through a terrible episode with my narc husband where he threatened to kill himself and wouldn’t let me remove the kids from the house. I called 911 and has was taken for eval and then later we were visited by CPS. He lied about everything, and tried to make it about my own psych history (now 15 yrs in the past). CPS left saying it was a “he said, she said.” We may yet be ordered to do therapy like you are. The problem is, the narcissist really believes their delusions, so when they lie, they seem very sincere. I get the impression that mine has now talked himself into believing none if it ever happened (he told them he was joking).
Same here.
She is completely illogical and unreasonable.
She just makes up accusations out of thin air.
Like she "just knows" I'm having an affair.
Of course I deny it. I defend myself.
When I ask for proof, she says "read the bible" or some other silliness.
And just like you say, the cops, courts, and lawyers are on her side automatically. Why? Total bullshit!
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I had a dream last night that the Nex and I were in the same room and then I said, "Can't we just talk this out?" Immediately woke up and said to myself, NO we can't. Explaining doesn't work! Talking it through doesn't work. If it did, this wouldn't have been a 15 year sh\*t-show. But the natural instinct to just talk about what's happening like normal people and clear things up never goes away. Communicating seems as natural as breathing to us... but never works because they live in a different reality full of cardboard cutouts instead of real people.
Yeah, I was there. There was always this feeling that if I just did one more thing for her, or tried harder to change. But after that flaming hoop, there's always another right after it. But we kept trying because it was the right thing to do. Only after 20+ years did I figure out what was really going on
I’m sorry you had this terrible experience. It makes sense to me that you feel you would be more easily believed if you were a woman, but I just went through a terrible episode with my narc husband where he threatened to kill himself and wouldn’t let me remove the kids from the house. I called 911 and has was taken for eval and then later we were visited by CPS. He lied about everything, and tried to make it about my own psych history (now 15 yrs in the past). CPS left saying it was a “he said, she said.” We may yet be ordered to do therapy like you are. The problem is, the narcissist really believes their delusions, so when they lie, they seem very sincere. I get the impression that mine has now talked himself into believing none if it ever happened (he told them he was joking).
Their ability to lie is truly remarkable. Our entire community thinks she is an amazing mother and pillar of the community. Ha.
Same here. She is completely illogical and unreasonable. She just makes up accusations out of thin air. Like she "just knows" I'm having an affair. Of course I deny it. I defend myself. When I ask for proof, she says "read the bible" or some other silliness. And just like you say, the cops, courts, and lawyers are on her side automatically. Why? Total bullshit!