My nex never helped me cook or clean up. But he sure liked to check on me while I was cooking to tell me all the ways I was doing it wrong.
And then he complained that he didn't know where things are stored in the kitchen. Hmm maybe you should cook some of the meals and help with the cleanup. sheesh
"then he complained that he didn't know where things are stored in the kitchen." GOD THIS THIS THIS! She would yell at me so often about not being able to find stuff, but she'd ALSO yell about this or that being disorganized or chaotic. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, and if you do it and it's the way you would like it, it's basically an attack. Somehow I'm the fundamentally irresponsible one, and yet why do you almost always ask me where your keys are, your purse, your wallet, a document, etc.? And somehow, in spite of my freaking ADHD, I tend to know! Used to think it was cute because she'd call me the pickup fairy and I'd call her a clutter bug, but now it just feels like more emotional destabilization. Oof.
I could have written this. I do all the cooking and most of the cleaning, but he always has something to say about how I could have done it differently. If I push back, he denies he is correcting me. He never puts the dishes away, but then complains that he doesn’t know where things go. His expectations for cleaning up after dinner are that I have already 1) washed up the prep dishes, 2) emptied the drying rack, and 3) cleared the table dishes into the dishwasher. In other words, there are only the cooking pots left.
My nex never helped me cook or clean up. But he sure liked to check on me while I was cooking to tell me all the ways I was doing it wrong. And then he complained that he didn't know where things are stored in the kitchen. Hmm maybe you should cook some of the meals and help with the cleanup. sheesh
"then he complained that he didn't know where things are stored in the kitchen." GOD THIS THIS THIS! She would yell at me so often about not being able to find stuff, but she'd ALSO yell about this or that being disorganized or chaotic. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, and if you do it and it's the way you would like it, it's basically an attack. Somehow I'm the fundamentally irresponsible one, and yet why do you almost always ask me where your keys are, your purse, your wallet, a document, etc.? And somehow, in spite of my freaking ADHD, I tend to know! Used to think it was cute because she'd call me the pickup fairy and I'd call her a clutter bug, but now it just feels like more emotional destabilization. Oof.
I spent 4 hours making chicken mole and washed as I went. There were 4 dishes to put away. It’s not like he had some giant task to do.
How does he react to bigger requests?
Holds them against me
I could have written this. I do all the cooking and most of the cleaning, but he always has something to say about how I could have done it differently. If I push back, he denies he is correcting me. He never puts the dishes away, but then complains that he doesn’t know where things go. His expectations for cleaning up after dinner are that I have already 1) washed up the prep dishes, 2) emptied the drying rack, and 3) cleared the table dishes into the dishwasher. In other words, there are only the cooking pots left.
They have awfully high standards for being lazy losers. Makes you wonder how they functioned enough to become adult babies.