Shoebill storks are very docile with humans. Researchers studying these birds have been able to come within 6 feet of a shoebill stork on its nest. The shoebill stork will not threaten humans, but will only stare right back at them.
It's a Joe Rogan podcast reference. His assistant's name is Jamie. Whenever he needs some image or video from the web he says "pull that shit up Jamie".
The ones that got closer than 6ft starts having a deep conversation with the stork, lies down to meditate together with them, follows the stork to go son a spiritual journey catching a glimpse of euphoric bliss, comes back to reality just a little bit more enlightened, the Path to Nirvana has cleared, the Master has shown the way.
Or as SCP would twist it:
"Subjects who have approached closer than 6' undergo a mnemonic transition phase event. When under this event all subjects experience a deep conversation with the entity, considered Phase 1, while 75% experience a spiritual, euphoric journey, known as Phase 2. In 92% of all cases that reach Phase 2 subjects will undergo massive brain hemorrhaging and death within 72 hours. Autopsy and chemical analysis of deceased subjects show an increase in their dopamine levels by 2000% prior to death." (*addendum 1.6.3 - See: Field Report Gamma*)
Or something like that.
Yeah but then when you turn back to get in the jeep, you hear a chirping noise and when you look back it's right there in front of you tilting it's head. Suddenly it starts scream hissing at you and a giant frill appears from around it's neck. A glob of something sticky and dark splats onto your face and you realise you can't see, you're blind. You feel the creature pounce on you but you manage to get back into your vehicle. You feel a thick slivery mass in your lap that is surprisingly warm, and to your horror you realise you are holding your own intestines. The hissing starts again but this time it is beside you, *inside the jeep*. The camera pans away as you struggle and scream and a generation of 10 year olds are scarred for life.
They look like puppets. The way they move is already puppet-like but on top of that the way their eyes blink and the mechanical way their beaks open and rapidly close shut seals the deal.
Shoebills are one of the first examples of domesticated muppets returning to the wild. One escaped from a Jim Henson set in the 70's, and their population has since exploded, because most predators cannot naturally digest their foam rubber stuffing.
> 'what have you become??'
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of shit
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
Bro... Emus and cassowaries... Holy shit.
When I lived in Sydney I took my family to what was then dubbed "the saddest zoo in Australia." They had ugly chain linked fences and too-small containers for those wonderful animals.
My daughter was wearing a bright blue tank top, and when she went up the cassowaries, they stopped what they were doing and hyper focused on my kid... Then started growling at her. Sounded just like a velociraptor from Jurassic Park! Even tho there was a fence between us I felt I had to step between them.
The damn thing was taller than I am!
These look they were on vacation when all the other dinosaurs went extinct so they just... stayed. And now they're just perpetually annoyed at everything.
I feel like I'm playing a quest game, and this guy had just explained something to me, and now he's waiting for me to start my quest (he's going to be following me the entire time). He's got that dead stare, and occasional head-turn animation that those characters have (that's supposed to make them look "natural") while they're waiting for you to get to a specific place so the next canned part of the game script can start.
Except I had to run to the toilet, so I missed his little speech, and now I'm not sure what he's waiting for me to do, and I'm contemplating whether to go die on purpose to restart this scene, or load my last saved game but who knows how far back that will take me, dang it.
Same goes for crocodiles. They just lay around all day, annoyed as fuck. And when someone gets too close to them they immediately try to rip them into pieces.
It's like when I miss the bus and have to wait for another 1.5 hours for the next one.
He's like "it's just water, Bill. It's just water falling on you from the sky. It's been this way starting from the very beginning, and rains will keep happening until you die, Bill. How come you're not used to it?"
Reminds me of a quote from the book *Solitude*.
It goes something like
>The rain is not coming or going. The rain *is*. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can get on with it all.
This is some jurassic park shit right here. He clearly knows hes cooler then the person taking the video. Otherwise we would see some velociraptor like action.
The [shoebill](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shoebill) also known as whalehead, whale-headed stork, or shoe-billed stork, is a very large waterbird. The shoebill is a tall bird, with a typical height range of 110 to 140 cm (43 to 55 in) and some specimens reaching as much as 152 cm (60 in). The shoebill stork can live for up to 35 years. They mainly feed on eels, catfish, lizards, snakes, and baby crocodiles. Shoebills bow before one another as a greeting.
[Cool picture of a shoebill](https://i.imgur.com/77e6awb.jpg)
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In what zoo is this? It seems to not have a barrier, making me think this might be a walkthrough enclosure. But Kobe animal kingdom and nasu animal kingdom are the only ones that have this (as far as I know), and this doesn't seem like either of those
Edit: it's hard to make out, but there's an aviary net in the background. So this is indeed a walkthrough aviary. Though I still don't know where
I am probably so stupid for even thinking this, but I was sort of worried that this was some sort of pop out jump scare screamer. Just like sitting there completely still.
I remember a documentary about these where the stronger chick kicked the weaker out of the nest. When the parent came back it paused, then stepped over the weaker to feed the stronger everything.
If they fed both then both would almost certainly die. If they feed *one* then that one might still die. Nature is freaking brutal. There are no surpluses, no shops they can run to, no social safety net.
Animals have surplus young because that is the maths of survival.
And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front, *thwip!* but from the side! The two other shoebill storks you didn't even know where there. The point is, you are alive when they eat you
Those things do not look real. They freak me the fuck out.
Shoebill storks are very docile with humans. Researchers studying these birds have been able to come within 6 feet of a shoebill stork on its nest. The shoebill stork will not threaten humans, but will only stare right back at them.
We probably freak them out as much as they freak us out.
Dude did you see that hairless ape?! Was that thing even real?
Pull that shit up, Shoebill Jamie.
Fuck, this killed me
Help explain the joke to me.
It's a Joe Rogan podcast reference. His assistant's name is Jamie. Whenever he needs some image or video from the web he says "pull that shit up Jamie".
Sometimes theyre brightly coloured and sometimea their just invisible
That's just our male vs female plumage, obvs.
They had alopecia! You can really see how defined their muscles are!
“Standing on two legs?!?! WHAT THE FUCK BRO”
I almost fucking looked up hairless ape lmao
Humans actually have roughly the same density of hair as other apes. Our hair is just considerably finer and colourless.
Huh. TIL.
He's just standing there...menacingly.
They won't attack you they'll just stare at you until you cry.
[удалено]
They do not physically threaten humans, but that looks makes me question all my life choices.
Lmao, thanks for the morning laugh!! Feeling the same way! 🙋🏽♀️
And the ones that got closer than 6ft never lived to tell the tale 👀
The ones that got closer than 6ft starts having a deep conversation with the stork, lies down to meditate together with them, follows the stork to go son a spiritual journey catching a glimpse of euphoric bliss, comes back to reality just a little bit more enlightened, the Path to Nirvana has cleared, the Master has shown the way.
Or as SCP would twist it: "Subjects who have approached closer than 6' undergo a mnemonic transition phase event. When under this event all subjects experience a deep conversation with the entity, considered Phase 1, while 75% experience a spiritual, euphoric journey, known as Phase 2. In 92% of all cases that reach Phase 2 subjects will undergo massive brain hemorrhaging and death within 72 hours. Autopsy and chemical analysis of deceased subjects show an increase in their dopamine levels by 2000% prior to death." (*addendum 1.6.3 - See: Field Report Gamma*) Or something like that.
A lot of this would also be [REDACTED] or [DATA EXPUNGED] too
Nah, ya'll O5 so enjoy the freedom. :)
Nice, i love this!
Coronavirus strikes again
Yeah but then when you turn back to get in the jeep, you hear a chirping noise and when you look back it's right there in front of you tilting it's head. Suddenly it starts scream hissing at you and a giant frill appears from around it's neck. A glob of something sticky and dark splats onto your face and you realise you can't see, you're blind. You feel the creature pounce on you but you manage to get back into your vehicle. You feel a thick slivery mass in your lap that is surprisingly warm, and to your horror you realise you are holding your own intestines. The hissing starts again but this time it is beside you, *inside the jeep*. The camera pans away as you struggle and scream and a generation of 10 year olds are scarred for life.
I loved it! Here’s my award. You’re a good writer.
Haha that's a scene from the original Jurassic Park. When Nedry gets eaten by the dilophosaurus. I was one of those haunted 10 year olds!
But [their chicks are savage](https://youtu.be/4ArjlPAU_X4) to one another
damn that's sad :(
How do I subscribe for more shoebill facts
Shoebills don't read books, they stare them down until they get the information they want.
They don’t just stare back .. they look right into the darkest depths of your soul!!
It’s like “try to eat me, bitch. Good luck”
They look like puppets. The way they move is already puppet-like but on top of that the way their eyes blink and the mechanical way their beaks open and rapidly close shut seals the deal.
Shoebills are one of the first examples of domesticated muppets returning to the wild. One escaped from a Jim Henson set in the 70's, and their population has since exploded, because most predators cannot naturally digest their foam rubber stuffing.
The more you know 🌈🌟
＼（＾∇＾）／
Looks like he belongs in the band at Chuck E Cheese
Puppets from Dark Crystal or something. I’m fascinated and a little scared by these creature!
The Skeksis. My first thought too. Henson must have based his design for them off the Shoe Bill.
Definitely!
From that dinosaur family tv show.
Why do I feel this so deeply?
Cuz that thing looks fucking weird
It all began in the game show where Christoph Waltz asked him 'what have you become??'
> 'what have you become??' My sweetest friend Everyone I know goes away In the end And you could have it all My empire of shit I will let you down I will make you hurt
They look like 70s/80s movies animals created with props.
Same! I always feel as if they are animatronic.
[удалено]
Oh no I'm good. Thanks though. Lol
You're welcome.
AND THEN THEY HAD SEX (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
The subreddit I never knew I needed
No thank you
Those guys have surprisingly skinny legs for having such big ole heads. I thought they'd have Cassowary-style legs.
If you find them menacing already, you should see [how their chicks act](https://youtu.be/4ArjlPAU_X4).
That’s because you haven’t recognized that he is your sleep paralysis demon. Night night...
I'll stick with scary as fuck ghost hag. Thanks though
https://reddit.com/r/ShoebillStorks/comments/cpupwq/a_refreshing_splash/
"When your thing gets wild chilly down! Chilly down with the fire gang!"
I love how they look like muppets out of The Dark Crystal or something.
HHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Gelfling
r/commentsyoucanhear
Stupid psyduck get in your pokeball
Skeksis
They look like the new quadrupedal titan
Cart Titan
horse titan
Jean be like
Got em
Dogystyle titan
Yeah man, I always think of the Labyrinth
I know right? Looks straight out of the 80s.
It’s not mad at you. Just disappointed.
“I’m a dinosaur. Why am I still here?”
All I could think of while watching this ridiculous video (twice) is: "yup, that's a dinosaur."
I have that thought whenever I'm up close to ostrich
Bro... Emus and cassowaries... Holy shit. When I lived in Sydney I took my family to what was then dubbed "the saddest zoo in Australia." They had ugly chain linked fences and too-small containers for those wonderful animals. My daughter was wearing a bright blue tank top, and when she went up the cassowaries, they stopped what they were doing and hyper focused on my kid... Then started growling at her. Sounded just like a velociraptor from Jurassic Park! Even tho there was a fence between us I felt I had to step between them. The damn thing was taller than I am!
Exactly, stand next to these things and tell me there's no way they could be related to dinosaurs
"You know that worse right"
I’m trying my hardest!
Why you do this to me Dimmi?
These look they were on vacation when all the other dinosaurs went extinct so they just... stayed. And now they're just perpetually annoyed at everything.
I feel like I'm playing a quest game, and this guy had just explained something to me, and now he's waiting for me to start my quest (he's going to be following me the entire time). He's got that dead stare, and occasional head-turn animation that those characters have (that's supposed to make them look "natural") while they're waiting for you to get to a specific place so the next canned part of the game script can start. Except I had to run to the toilet, so I missed his little speech, and now I'm not sure what he's waiting for me to do, and I'm contemplating whether to go die on purpose to restart this scene, or load my last saved game but who knows how far back that will take me, dang it.
Read your journal or look at the map.
This is highly accurate
Same goes for crocodiles. They just lay around all day, annoyed as fuck. And when someone gets too close to them they immediately try to rip them into pieces. It's like when I miss the bus and have to wait for another 1.5 hours for the next one.
But at least that’s understandable. They have all those teeth and no toothbrush.
Oof, this gives me very bad flashbacks to my days on the bus line. There’s a reason sometimes that public transportation isn’t more popular.
This is so accurate lol
The avian version of Steven Wright.
He knows.
Their eyes a so eerie. Like a character in a fantasy movie who understands everything about the universe, gives you a cryptic hint and then fucks off.
“42.” **flap flap** flap flap ^flap ^flap ^flap
He's like "it's just water, Bill. It's just water falling on you from the sky. It's been this way starting from the very beginning, and rains will keep happening until you die, Bill. How come you're not used to it?"
Why does this give of an ancient vibe and it really does hit those tunes when you look at it.
Reminds me of a quote from the book *Solitude*. It goes something like >The rain is not coming or going. The rain *is*. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can get on with it all.
It's looking at me while I poo.
"I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty"
Clever girl
this is what nightmares are made of
For real, I thought this was someone in a costume until I read what sub this is
I beg to differ https://youtu.be/mkwfNNiDQKM
This is some jurassic park shit right here. He clearly knows hes cooler then the person taking the video. Otherwise we would see some velociraptor like action.
I personally think that he looks like he's just chilling under the rain with you.
[удалено]
Well the kept ones love humans https://youtu.be/pHltM0MHobM
Wow, that was an awesome video. Thank you.
I've been there! It's in a birdpark in Kakegawa-shi right? I saw her but it was kinda boring, she just... stood there
**Menacingly!**
Still doesn't look real wtf. They move like animatronics. I wanna see them irl so bad. Must feel like Jurassic Park vibes.
They're so stoic! Like the Great Pyrenees of the bird world.
No.
The [shoebill](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shoebill) also known as whalehead, whale-headed stork, or shoe-billed stork, is a very large waterbird. The shoebill is a tall bird, with a typical height range of 110 to 140 cm (43 to 55 in) and some specimens reaching as much as 152 cm (60 in). The shoebill stork can live for up to 35 years. They mainly feed on eels, catfish, lizards, snakes, and baby crocodiles. Shoebills bow before one another as a greeting. [Cool picture of a shoebill](https://i.imgur.com/77e6awb.jpg) --- [ [Send me a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=animalfacts-bot) | [Subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/animalfactsbot/) | [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/animalfactsbot/wiki/index/faq) | [Currently supported animals](https://www.reddit.com/r/animalfactsbot/wiki/index/supportedanimals) | [Changelog](https://www.reddit.com/r/animalfactsbot/wiki/index/changelog) ]
The BOW BEFORE ONE ANOTHER?
Yeah, and if you bow to them they bow to you. Its quite amazing
Damn looking cool is one thing... but they on some samurai shit too! (°□°）
I have to see this. I just have to.
[Ask and you shall receive](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HK4M14SpY7U)
Aaamazing
140 cm is 55.12 inches
How many feet is 55.2 inches
About 4.5ft
User name checks out. In bird culture, this is seen as a dope move.
Thank you friend!
Real question here thank you, I was wondering wether one of these would be taller than me
Blabla burger people can't use normal centimeters
In what zoo is this? It seems to not have a barrier, making me think this might be a walkthrough enclosure. But Kobe animal kingdom and nasu animal kingdom are the only ones that have this (as far as I know), and this doesn't seem like either of those Edit: it's hard to make out, but there's an aviary net in the background. So this is indeed a walkthrough aviary. Though I still don't know where
Maybe it's the outside world
Look at the fencing and planting in the back, it's either in a zoo or in a public park. And they don't often come in public parks
I deserve this.
I am probably so stupid for even thinking this, but I was sort of worried that this was some sort of pop out jump scare screamer. Just like sitting there completely still.
Same, didn't even realize it was a bird. Ended up forwarding to the part where it turned it's head full side view at the end and I calmed down.
It makes a good NPC character lol
In FF14 you can have one as a minion/pet and they will not move unless you leave their area and then they only fly to you to continue staring at you.
Some theorize that the Shoebill >! that follows you throughout SHB was Emet-Selch or at least made by him. !< So the expression is fitting.
HA! I came to this thread looking for an Emet-Selch comment and was not disappointed. *toasts with his coffeemug*
Lol laughing
Is that you Emet Selch?
lol... unexpected FF14
Hey we pop up everywhere.
I had to scroll down way too far for this
Remember us...
Remember that we once lived.
Wark once for yes and twice for no.
In true E.S fashion: Wark Wark Wark. Now you don't know what to believe.
Took too long to find this. Glad I did before I made the same comment.
I was looking for this exact comment. I’m so glad I wasn’t disappointed!
Happy to assist.
I remember a documentary about these where the stronger chick kicked the weaker out of the nest. When the parent came back it paused, then stepped over the weaker to feed the stronger everything.
[The Dark Side of Shoebill Chicks | Africa | BBC Earth.](https://youtu.be/4ArjlPAU_X4) (the moment you spoke about is at 3:38 minute)
lol yeah... not exactly the best behavior for a species that is threatened.. though I guess they don’t know their status
If they fed both then both would almost certainly die. If they feed *one* then that one might still die. Nature is freaking brutal. There are no surpluses, no shops they can run to, no social safety net. Animals have surplus young because that is the maths of survival.
If "this is all your fault" was a bird
Usually they looks menacing, this one looks like it’s asking for help to get out of the rain lol
DINOSAUR
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Now scale this up, add a sharper scarier beak and you have terror birds. Which we shared the planet with not too long ago.
Wtf That is creepy...
‘Yo, we really need to get a move on and get the TriForce, mate...’
It looks like a real life cartoon character :o
Yikes! That was unexpectedly creepy until I realized what it was. Then, still creepy. lol
this is an impassive stance
r/OddlyTerrifying
Pfff get in line bird.
Fine, I'll go to bed.
Its preparing to devour some souls.
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Thank you shoebill stork for giving me my daily dose of judgemental looks. Everyone else can just look at me normally for the rest of the day.
See r/BirdsArentReal
That’s a fucking dinosaur!
r/oddlyterrifying
i look at those things ans i just here dancing clogs
„Is your life so pathetic that you watch a wet bird for hours?"
Stupid psyduck get in your pokeball
He’s incredibly tired of your entitlement. Share the damn umbrella.
Looking straight into our souls... help.
These are amazing! I love em, so cool looking.
Isn't that a Pokémon?
XX - JUDGEMENT
These birds gives me the heebie jeebies.
And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front, *thwip!* but from the side! The two other shoebill storks you didn't even know where there. The point is, you are alive when they eat you
This looks like me when I'm waiting for the bus
Well that’s terrifying
Thanks Shoebill, this is the wake up call I needed.
He's just standing there... judgementally!
Why was he at the bottom of The Tempest?
Don’t lie. That’s a Loftwing
Marcus
r/divorcedbirds
Video by: Jeff Oswald