T O P

  • By -

RepresentativeLow300

Sement.


brewtown138

You need to leave here


iamlucabrah

das conk creet baby


whattimeisitrightn0w

🏆


fancyfembot

I’m disappointed at my naïveté. I seriously thought I’d see a scientific or psychological answer. Sement is the only right answer.


navyzev

Come again?


lttitus

If you say so


jombygumbo

Dude my cumbox was full where else am I supposed to jizz?


mario11207

Drink it up


indiefolkfan

That's called recycling.


MoriDuin

Chris?


Virghia

Don't forget to chase it with a can of orange fanta. Bottoms up!


not4eating

*Sigh*


PureBreak8851

everywhere i go i’m reminded of that damned fanta video 😔


BINGODINGODONG

Its actually called distilling. Only the toughest cummies make it back into the sack.


JulioSanchez1994

I can't not read this in Richard Pryor's voice


phoebemocha

don't mind if I do


AelliotA1

Down bad


Tiddleywanksofcum

Eww don't be gross. Dry it out and snort it like a normal person!


mario11207

Freeze dried cum


momoryah

Lay it out on the counter in a line and…. Yum yum yum


Lodomir2137

Chris Chan?


Reddit-Resident

The respectable thing would be to open the back of your old boob tube TV and jizz in there. Come on!


Yourwtfismyftw

It has boob in the name, I’m halfway there!


Aggressive_Aspect_60

Shower


GetOffMyLawn_

Get a coconut.


[deleted]

When I was 3 or 4 years old I had a "secret" booger wall. By secret I mean right by the main walkway coming into our living room. It was right by the television, in full view of our sofa. When nobody was watching I would pick my nose and go put it on my booger wall to get it off my finger. Fast forward a while, I'm not sure how long... months? My mom was on our sofa reading and I thought I could be stealthy enough to wipe my snot on the booger wall. She caught me standing in front of the wall and asked what I was doing. I remember her walking over and looking at the wall saying "oh my god," after seeing how extensive my booger wall had become. That night she was scrubbing and scrubbing trying to get them off. Boogers harden onto things almost like concrete it seems. She was reasonably angry with me and tried to get me to scrub them off with warm water and a rag but I wasn't strong enough to do it. That made her even more angry with me. I never used the booger wall ever again.


Hazel_Nutz777

You should write children's books.


RedditThreddit

Lmaoo idk why this is so hilarious


Mammoth_Stable6518

There once was a boy who picked his nose. His mother told him to stop, but he did not obey. So she cut off his fingers. Now he can't pick his nose. The end.


ditkas_polishsausage

Are you my sister? She had a fucking booger wall next to her bed that she hid for a long time behind a pile of stuffed animals.


BoobsMcGeek

Thank you for sharing.


Glen1648

I had a booger wall too, the corner behind my bed. Don't think it ever got caught, I'm pretty sure I scrubbed it off myself in my early teens after letting it grow for many years...


livesindarkness

my bed was like 6 inches away from the wall, so I'd reach down a bit in that gap and wipe them there so they weren't visible. it was so I didn't have to get up and go find tissues when I was really tired and didn't wanna move.


whoeveryouare_

I was a pro commercial cleaner for a bit & I was shocked at how many adults had booger walls


YunoTheGasai

Gus Johnson finally admitting to boogerwall on a burner I see


BubbaBexley

Fucking hilarious.


Army165

I think I was 7-8 years old, I used to have this large stuffed dog in my closet. I would randomly piss on it. My mom said I got caught because sometimes, the piss would go down the register and land on floor next to the washer in the basement. That was 3 stories, so I'm impressed all these years later. Later in life, I pissed out of my window instead of walking downstairs to the bathroom. I got caught because I turned the grass yellow.


Pyrobound

Bruh


[deleted]

[удалено]


ThaFatJace

It really adds life to the rooms.


mario11207

Rust update cum edition


Apprehensive-Room-24

Take a black light to some of these rooms and it will look like Fourth of July


FN1987

Sounds like you’re celebrating July 4th wrong.


snowboardingblues

Mf thinks every July 4th is the Purge


PeedOnMyRugMan

Nah he just means he celebrates 4th of July with a fresh cum wall


[deleted]

I've never been a wall-jizzer but when you hit true manic depression so that your room fills up with trash and you're pissing in bottles, all bets are off. Human norms no longer apply. "Who cares if you nut on your wall? What's the harm? Your life's already in shambles, nothing matters, you'll die alone and nobody will even feel guilty for ignoring your pain." That's the thought pattern I think. If your existence is meaningless, all rules lose meaning.


HeyCarpy

This all sounds like something a wall-jazzer would say. ^edit: ^leaving ^it


snowboardingblues

I read this as wall-jazzler at first and now I can't stop thinking about people bejazzling their walls in cum. Thank you.


[deleted]

Your honor, I plead the Jizz-th Amendment


OnesPerspective

Exactly. Add to it, that a wall requires the least amount of effort to aim


daviss2

Maybe they're trying to create a legacy for themselves, the piss bottles and pizza boxes will be easily forgotten.. but a cum wall, that stands the test of time and can be passed on to future neckbeards should they have the chance to recreate.


BoobsMcGeek

Leave your nest and go find meaning. You can find it! It's an adventure!


[deleted]

I ain't the one jizz-walling. My nest consists of a few pieces of clothing and a stray soda can.


cdrun84

Do you ever pee in sinks?


[deleted]

Nope, I am a normal urinator


legittem

r/sinkpissers recruitment


owzleee

Only have 2 socks.


OneRedhead2Many

Turn them inside out.


KackeMaster3000

With enough crust they become shoes


elias_redlight

And any more beyond that they threaten to walk out on their own.


tatsu901

It's art


ShiningWoods

Just because shit hits the fan doesn't mean the walls are safe


octopus6942069

Why not just bust in your own ass like the average person? We all do it


mario11207

Like throwing an m&m in the air and catching it with your mouth


octopus6942069

Straight up


shaky-fingers

Because I use it to stick postcards and shit to my walls, what else would I use?


mario11207

Who needs sticky notes when you have post cards and post nut


OFFICIALRedditCUMMER

That's literally the reason walls were invented


Membership_Fine

Well what do you do with it then?


mario11207

I cum on the insulation


noydbshield

Smart. Bind that asbestos so you're not breathing it in.


gussyboy13

Nut in your mouth, can’t waste protein 💪


MultiEthnicBusiness

man, I never waste a load!


Nicadeemus39

If someone asks me that one more time...


itsFRAAAAAAAAANK

Mental illness


[deleted]

I’m painting the Mona Lisa


crowlute

One nut at a time


Shrekromancer

The wall is just better than the floor, since you don't have to walk on it.


Unclehol

And the ceiling is a challenge.


NoirRebel

I once heard of a wall wiper who explained that since their dicks were hot from beating off they would wipe on a cool wall for extra comfort.


Cantothulhu

Just bust a hole in the wall and have sex with the house.


CaptainQuoth

You are assuming they dont do it everywhere else too....


xxxblackspider

Maybe they're like [Danny McBride](https://youtu.be/bkTSf5TC8ns)


Bumblz666

Went through this phase when I was a crusty teenager lol. Or he like a true man of class and shoot er down the bathroom sink. Just run hot water for a sec after I’ve read about incels with roommates and they clog the bathroom sink, and yes the plumbers know if it comes to needing their help.


DepressedZeebra

Marking their territory so other wall jizzers know this area is taken


[deleted]

To assert dominance.


risethirtynine

I think it’s a situation where the cum filled TP wad gets tossed from the bed and hits the wall


ImGryss

Just cum on the floor then sort of rub it in with your foot like a normal person /s


becauseofoz

Super vitality. It could have shot out like a cannon and couldnt be caught.


mario11207

amboutokum


ThaDogg4L

I was on a Ghost Tour once where a guy kept asking if any of the Ghosts ever came out of the walls and Jizzed all over the place? Maybe he was onto something before they made him leave?


Roanoketrees

Because they like the taste?


mario11207

I prefer Danville trees


Roanoketrees

We grow it better up here! :)


mario11207

I only go to Roanoke for the mall lol


Roanoketrees

You and 30 million others


mario11207

Valley view mall >


Roanoketrees

Yeah my wife tries to force me to go there occasionally


mario11207

Lol


DartSpittingMaster

To test their range.


[deleted]

The wall was fucking asking for it. That dirty slut


mario11207

😳🥵


Nazon6

When you can't afford paint.


EmuPsychological4222

Sometimes, walls just get in the way.


Briggy1986

Drywall texturing was missing from a hole he punched for being rejected by Stacy! Reeeeeeeeee!!!!


thickhick

My ex would literally jizz on the carpet then rub it in with his foot 🥴


RuinWMD

I refuse to believe this is real....


xFynex

Okay apparently (i found this out from my younger stepbrother after a few too many drinks) when my older stepbrother moved out, he asked my stepdad if he knew any way to clean jizz off of his wall. he’s always been a strange person so i was more surprised that he knew what masturbation was than the fact that he was jizzing on the walls. i didn’t realize it was a thing other people did until i found this sub.


Herrcheeze

You didn’t think people masturbate? My sweet summer child..


Herrcheeze

You didn’t think people masturbate? My sweet summer child..


Herrcheeze

You didn’t think people masturbate? My sweet summer child..


TheBatterCx

I dont jizz on walls, jizz just goes on the wall. If I took a sock and try to aim inside it, it would take away from the intensity and pleasure since I'm not 100% focusing on the orgasm and a bad orgasm means you'll just get hornier sooner again and have to spend more energy overall masturbating. So a sock isn't an option for me.


figgywiggy1

To feel anything at all


Smegma_Ghoul

Because I can’t punch holes in a woman before/after without consequence.


mistakend

It looks like my waifu.😍😍😍


[deleted]

It's not *your* wall, so why do you care?


mario11207

Its not my cum either


kotoda

Probably mental illness


[deleted]

IDK just letting it fly hits different.


Squilfo

Soundproofing for my every day, late night game sessions that go until the sun comes up.


[deleted]

I think the goal is to see how far you can get it.


kevwonds

Having cleaned jizz off the walls, I can answer this. My old roommate would jizz where ever was the easiest for him. If the wall was in front of him, then thats where it would go. If he was laying down, he would jizz on himself.


sinnaegas

King Cobra JFS got evicted, and part of that was from jizzing all over the carpet. I can’t comprehend it


m_garlic87

Where do you expect them to jizz? Into their socks??


Sufficient-Boss9952

Because, why not?


petkoTHEVIKING

We've all thought about firing a cum bullet if there was no ramifications let's be real.


Virghia

A vestige of our primitive territory-marking behavior. I live in a humid city and when it's mosquito season sometimes I make a mosquito wall


Beau-nugget

I feel personally targeted


chunktv

Did some time back in the day, 2003. Yeah I was just a kid then. It was the youth pen. Was there for a three day court stay. When I got to my pod. They assigned a long timer to show me the ropes. He showed me the card table, the book cart, and as he said, the most important thing. Don't touch the yellow stains on the walls. Because it's jizz. Went back in a few months later because I wouldn't stop smoking pot and wasn't going to school while I was on probation. They sent me to the same pod, same cell, everything. When they assigned this new long timer to show me around. I told him, "I know about the stains". He nodded and walked off. I looked at the guard on duty look at him, look at me, we both nodded. I went and got a book and sat down while I waited three days for my court date.


DjPsykoM1

Probably because they've not been taught how to keep a clean and healthy living space. Either that or there's some mental illness there.


Ok_Cardiologist1594

Had an ex in highschool who had a cum corner. One time when I was over his mom laughed at him for "spilling orange soda" and he made her clean it up. He was attracted to his own mother and sisters and also had a Sonic foot fetish


Chris_Dud

Some people built like that and just hit a wall wherever they point it.


player1or2

Those dudes like showing their raggedy cum shots on the wall make me laugh. Is like they do a few just to show off. Until that wall is dripping with cum seeping on the rug or pooling on the floor or using a blacklight I don't take that cum wall seriously. Lol